Category Archives: Expectations

Put An End To Performance Anxiety

align yourself with mentors

“Performance anxiety was on the mind of a friend lately and he asked me how I, as an actor, overcome it. What follows is pretty much my response to his question. I added some audition and performance information at the end of my reply to him to further explore the concept.

‘Worry comes from what we think about and where we place our attention.  The trick is to put your attention where it is useful (on the performance, or on the pitch when pitching your idea) and not on others or in self critique. It is a knack and you get better at it with repeated trial and effort.

Meditation can benefit because it helps one relax, calm thoughts and feel centered. Energy goes where you place your attention. Positive thoughts can help because one learns to steer away from the less than glorious thinking to the useful and productive. It is simple to do and may require effort but it can definitely be mastered by anyone.

ANYONE can reduce stress and anxiety and feel positive and powerful by learning how to place their attention where it needs to be. Just as you learned to play your musical instrument it is a skill you develop. Nothing mysterious about it!

You get good at playing music or a sport or any ability through correct practice. You can readily make the change you want! You WILL have to apply yourself and KEEP with it until you get the changes you want. You can do it.

You will be able to do it! Simply take it bit by bit, step by step and you will surprise yourself. As we learn there is a phase when we have to talk ourself through it as we did when we learned to ride a bike or drive a car (actually any skill). There is a period of time when we are klutzy. Sometimes we do well and other times not so well.  Ultimately, the process streamlines and we become competent riders or drivers.

This occurs because our subconscious through repetition eventually makes it a habit. It becomes a reliable skill and we no longer have to think it or talk ourselves through it. We have acquired the skill. The same is true about getting over anxiety. You practice the new way and as you practice it won’t seem like magic, but as you stick with it, eventually it will work like magic because you develop the new skill set.

You just have to stick with it and get through the difficult or awkward phase. Learning to do this new thing is the same as learning to do anything else. It comes from doing the new thinking and behaving over and over again while making adjustments or corrections. You do it repeatedly. Enough times over a time period and you develop the skill as habit. Since you have learned many things you can learn this too.

You will do well as you move forward. At first, it seems more difficult, sometimes even scarier, than it actually is. Perception is everything. If we think of those who listen to our music, our pitch, or witness our performance as friends, who support us and enjoy what we do, we are much more comfortable. Mind set and attitude, is the key! See what you want in your mind’s eye. Visualize and rehearse inside your mind feeling and performing as you wish to. Create and rehearse that inner reality.

I encourage you to read and re-read my blog because I discuss these very things.  Meanwhile continue to celebrate and enjoy!  AND realize that when you want to change your life you have to make changes in your life. You can’t get different results doing the same things over again. You have to make changes that get you what you want to have.’

That is what I shared. There is much to be said about being realistic and staying in charge even when you are not in control of the outer circumstances. Here is what I mean.

I have had some incredible auditions lately and booked work. I have had some incredible auditions lately and did not book work. I even had one audition that I was mentally prepared for and eager about that I blew completely. I struck completely out and did nothing I had intended to do. That is just how it goes sometime.

In my previous incarnation I would have been preoccupied mostly with the auditions I didn’t book and the one I blew. That is where my focus would have been and it would have brought me down. I would have wallowed for months.

In this incarnation I learn what I can from what I did or did not do, get as much feed back as possible, apply the learning (because otherwise I really haven’t learned anything unless I use it) and move forward. I stop thinking about the fish I didn’t catch and focus on the ones caught and how to improve for the future.

Life is so much better and freer when we are able to let go and forget about what doesn’t work. Learn from it, extract the lessons, and maintain focus on what we do want and intend to create.  Sometimes we strike out.  If you play baseball you strike out more than you hit, and far more times than you get on base or a home run.

That is just how the game works. If you want to play the game you accept it and do not let it get you down. Keep your head up, your chin held high, think the best, feel the best, be grateful and move forward with positive anticipation for making your dreams come true. Never quit.  Adjust and keep moving forward.

This is how we get what we want. It has nothing to do with pie in the sky wishful thinking. It is about developing an unstoppable ‘I can do whatever I set out to do’ attitude. Defeats along the way do not stop us. They teach us and make us stronger and better. So keep going and make your dreams come true.” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible day!

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Are You A Winner? Find Out Now!

i choose

“These questions should be easy to answer for each of us but for too many these are difficult questions. Can you answer each? The answers you give are important and determine how far you get and how easy or difficult that will be. Who are you? What do you want more than anything else in the world? What price would you pay to have what you want?

The clearer you are and the better you answer each of these the more easily you can make your goals and dreams come true. Do you think of yourself as a person who can accomplish anything you want? Certainly, you ought to. Look to your inner resources and recognize yourself as one who has the power to make your dream come true. Decide you can work by yourself and co-operatively with others to make it happen.

If you don’t know how or feel yourself resourceful enough at this moment you can learn to. You are capable, positive and powerful. You can learn to make any change you want so take the opportunity. Make it a priority. Since we become what we think about all day long make certain that what you think about is worthwhile and positive. Too many waste their time occupied with unimportant tasks or behaviors that don’t get them anywhere.

Decide what you want in clear compelling detail. Those who succeed most readily are driven by what it is they want and need to accomplish. They know precisely what their dream is and what they would pay to make it happen. In researching 500 of the wealthiest doers in America Napoleon Hill stated you can attain your  Dominant Chief Aim when it is backed up by a passionate burning desire, and kept in your mind day and night.

Hill stated you must devote yourself to making it happen and believe, have faith, and expect to create it without giving up. He found those who anticipated success were far more likely to attain it. They persisted in spite of the odds. They understood success exacted a high price and only those willing to pay it were ultimately successful. They didn’t lose sight of their destination when things got tough. They changed their plans as necessary but not their goals. They kept going!

What they did stemmed from the kind of person they were. People who succeeded were positive, optimistic and unstoppable. They believed in themselves, had the right attitude and were convinced they would succeed. They focused on what they wanted not the obstacles before them. They were leaders leading themselves forward. They were in charge 100% responsible. They were flexible, they were learners and they kept going forward toward their goal.

Most people wish rather than plan. They hope for better days instead of intending to have them.  We don’t have the ability to wish things into being but we are able to command them. Hill pointed out that most of our success stemmed from 99% what we did in our heads and 1% from the actions we took. If our mental attitude and beliefs were aligned then our actions were too and we did the right things to bring about success.

Many work hard, efforting a lot, but their minds are not prepared for success. Success favors the prepared mind. Most people’s attitudes are defeatist so they end up spinning their wheels and not getting very far. They whine, blame circumstances and hope to get ahead instead of taking 100% responsibility and intending to get ahead come what may. Challenges are part of the process.

There is a reason why Hill titled his book THINK And Grow Rich. He did not call it Work Hard And Grow Rich. People have it backwards. THINK right and you do the RIGHT hard work AND that makes all the difference. Think wrong and you spend your life on the hamster treadmill. It isn’t the amount of effort that makes a difference it is knowing the RIGHT effort.

Your dream has to be more important than anything else! You must think on it day and night and believe in YOUR ability to make it happen. You must devote yourself to becoming the kind of person who can accomplish what you set your heart to accomplish. When you seek to learn how and to help others get ahead while you get ahead you can have anything you desire.

There is a formula to make it all work. Those who become successful aren’t only those born to it. Those who succeed in life first succeed in learning how to transform themselves into becoming the kind of person who is able to make their dreams come true. We first learn how to think right in order to create the success we desire. We manage our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. How we succeed is by becoming the type of person WHO succeeds. You can do this!  ” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day for no reason at all! Simply delight!

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People You Need To Know Who Are Responsible For Your Success And Happiness!

be the type of person you want to meet

“Some people think changing for the better is difficult. They don’t think they can get ahead. It is true for them because they don’t want to face the truth. They refuse to accept it. If you want to make pervasive, positive, big changes in your life you have to accept this fact and live totally from it. Then change becomes easier.

The  truth: there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you. You are 100% responsible for everything. Most people don’t want to hear this and deny it but it is accurate. It is all the result of what you are doing or not doing. You are successful or not because of YOUR thoughts, feelings, attitudes and behaviors.

Whether you have great relationships at home, with partners or friends, whether you have lots of money of little, whether you experience great or limited fitness and health it is up to you. Career, leisure, possessions are all up to you. You determine what you have or don’t have. You are either in control or you are not.

Most people want to blame others. They blame their parents, teachers and authority figures for what they did OR didn’t do. They blame their upbringing and personal history. They think events circumstances, and anything or anyone external to them has caused their problems. They put the cause outside of themselves instead of where it belongs. The cause resides in each of us.

Because they blame others and circumstances they remain stuck. You don’t become a victor living as a victim. You don’t move forward looking backwards. You don’t succeed pointing fingers. Those who get ahead know where they are headed and aim in that direction. They do whatever it takes to get there even when it means hardship and detours. They persist and prevail.

It is true bad things can happen. It is also true that some people may have begun with certain advantages, yet, people who started with nothing have triumphed powerfully. People have overcome incredible odds once or multiple times to make their dreams come true. Some have started off well, lost everything and gained it all back. Everyone responds to what life presents them. Either sink or swim.

Successful people, who are live the kind of lives they want, who have positive relationships, good health, lots of wealth in a variety of ways, take COMPLETE responsibility for the thoughts they think. They know that what we think about we become. They know they are in charge and no one else. They know that that create whatever predominantly occupies their mind.

They understand that what you focus on you get. They manage their visualizations, their self-talk and their feelings. They take full responsibility for their attitude and behavior and the results they get or don’t get. They know you can’t get uphill thinking downhill thoughts or feeling less than glorious. ‘Making it’ requires a vast amount of positive energy so they stay positive.

They don’t waste time criticizing, blaming and wallowing. The successful take feedback and learn from their efforts. They adjust their plans as needed to to get back on track and move forward. They understand if it is going to happen it is up to them and no one else. Successful people realize that in order to have the life they want to live they have to create it.

To enjoy success in career and life and overall happiness you have to take 100% responsibility for everything. You have to put yourself in charge of the results you get. You navigate the course. You put yourself in the driver’s seat and steer the vehicle to your ultimate destination. You determine how you enjoy the journey and how long it takes. You determine the outcome.

Get to know yourself as a can-do person. Become a person who does whatever you set your mind to do.  If you want your life to change you can’t continue doing what you have been doing all along. You have to make positive changes so you can get to where you want to go. It is all up to you! YOU are the person responsible for your success and happiness!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate this day! It is yours.

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You Are The CareTaker Of Your Dreams – Are You Getting What You Want?

your mind is a garden

“The caretaker weeds the garden as necessary. It is important to maintain a healthy environment for the seeds to sprout. You are the caretaker of your dreams and desires. You are the caretake of your thoughts and feelings. Rid yourself of defeatist thinking. Stop entertaining worry and doubt. Live strong by thinking strong!

We continue from previous blog post ‘You Are The Caretaker Of Your Dreams – So How’s It Going?’  This is Part 2.

Stop living as though life happens to you and realize you are the caretaker of your life. Generate positive appreciation, receptivity, thoughts and feelings and life will respond in kind! We attract good people and opportunities to us BECAUSE of who we are and what we radiate. Electricity will light a house or burn it down.

We get back what we put out. The seeds we plant we expect to harvest. Don’t expect corn if you planted peas. Don’t expect positive results if every thing you think and feel isn’t positive. Yet, this is what most people do. You don’t have pure water if you add mud to it. Stop mucking things up by negative thinking.

They focus on what is wrong most of the time instead of what is right. Then they wonder why nothing works out well for them. They may even plant corn but they let the weeds over grow and choke out the corn. If you are doing this, STOP IT! We become whatever we most think about! Our thoughts create our reality.

Think about what you want not what you don’t want. The energy we live by is returned to us many times over. We awaken to opportunities and people who benefit us because we set and tune our minds to these. When you tune to a particular radio station you get that station as you expect to and not something else.

When you tune your mind and feelings to positive thoughts and feelings you get more back in kind. It absolutely works! For some people it works faster than others but none of us in a race with each other. It works for all people regardless. It rains on everyone when it rains. Think, feel and entertain most frequently what you want!

Some people make the mistake of trying to force it. Some get caught in doubt or worry that it won’t be what they want or that it won’t happen. If you do this you will get back more of that worry and doubt. You have to understand YOU are responsible for what you plant and nurture. You get back whatever it is you keep doing.

All this works! If you plant negativity or tune to a negative channel in thoughts and feelings you get back more of the same. You get back whatever you most focus on. Decide what you want to get back! Take care of your thoughts and feelings so you get what you want!

Don’t burn down the house! It is really that simple. It IS that cut and dried. Don’t compare with others or be concerned with time frames. Don’t get distracted by the circumstances you may find yourself in presently. Focus on creating what it is you want and know you will make it happen. Light up the house!

Fill your moments with positive celebration and delight. Allow yourself to be pleased and surprised. Think ‘this or something better comes to me’. What you make happen is not nearly as important as WHO you become in the process. Be open to good things. Allow gifts to come to you and your life will transform in fantastic ways!” Rex Sikes

Delight in today!

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You Are The CareTaker Of Your Dreams – So How’s It Going?

dont-judge-each-day-by-the-harvest-you-reap-but-by-the-seeds-that-you-plant-8

“Gratitude and Receptivity open up doorways. It seems magical but it does work. Electricity works. Most of us use it without understanding how it works. Feeling grateful and receptive work at the subconscious level and we don’t need to know how in order to develop a winning unstoppable attitude. We do it and it works.

Imagine you plant a garden. It is your responsibility. You are the caretaker. You prepare the soil this is important. You plant the seeds that you want to cultivate later. You tend to them by making sure it they are nourished.

If it doesn’t rain you add water, you rid the garden of weeds and pests. You step back and let nature take its course. Somethings are not in your control. You don’t dig it up to make sure they grow. You don’t even grow them, they grow all on their own accord.

You don’t tell the seeds or the garden what to do or how to do it because you can’t.  You let go and trust. The caretaker knows this. The caretaker does what the caretake is supposed to do; plant seeds and maintain the healthy environment so they can grow. Then the caretake waits patiently and expectantly.

There are NO guarantees. There are only the laws of nature. You did what you could do. You did your part and then you let go. You expect to reap in given time. Nature takes care of all the rest. It works on it’s own. You cooperate and work with it. Then it will gift you with the results because that is what it does.

Harvest comes and you reap what you sowed. You get back more than you planted because each plant gives rise to more fruit. The harvest is bountiful. You enjoy the rewards of your efforts. You did what you could to make it happen. Nature took care of the rest. You can’t push nature. You don’t make it grow nature does that!

You can’t push receiving either. You can’t dictate how it ought to be. You only make yourself available. You do what you do each day. You celebrate! You appreciate! You think and feel your best! You develop positive habits and you persist in your practice without giving up or giving in to negativity. Do your part and nature does hers! Remember, YOU can’t push a rope!

Nature is your subconscious! You cooperate with your own mind, your subconscious. You plant the positive seeds through visualization and affirmations with strong feelings of  gratitude and celebration. You imagine the harvest as if you already received it and feel these incredible feelings each day, each time you think it.

Through daily repetition you care for these and help them grow. You do your part your subconscious will do the rest. You do the positive work and your subconscious will make it a great habit.You stay open to receiving the harvest in time and you will reap what you sowed.

You plant the images but you don’t dictate the manner in which your dreams come true. You remain open to any and all possibilities. This is what it means to be receptive. You allow whatever the positive results will be to develop without micromanaging. You did your part now let ‘nature’ do hers. Simply expect good and great results!

Manage your mental bank balance so it never goes into the negative. Your part is to manage your thoughts and feelings and maintain  a positive mental balance to keep this everything in YOUR favor. This is an important part of how it all works! You stay positive and repeat your practices daily while trusting you will get back the best.

Get out of your own way. Stop trying to make things happen or force results. Allow yourself to receive. Accept, appreciate, and become a good receiver. Do this and you enter the ‘zone’. You create FLOW. Good things flow to you and through you because of what you set in motion, maintain, and allow yourself to get back more of!” Rex Sikes

Continued in next blog post: Part 2

Make it a fabulous day!

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Gratitude And Receptivity Paves The Way For Everything!

someday is not a day of the week

“It is another glorious day! What can you do today to feel thankful and receptive? Both are important. Take inventory of everything you are grateful for and celebrate in your life. The people, places, activities, things, times in your life, anything and everything in your past and present are fair game.

Your health, wealth, relationships, you career, job, transportation, hobbies whatever they are, whatever their state or condition, it is important to be grateful for, whatever it is. Your money no matter how much or how little be thankful!

If you focus on lack or not having enough or troubling circumstances you get back what you are focused on. You open the doorway for more when you are happy with what you have! When you feel grateful you begin to change you being. You change yourself.

You keep your focus on gratitude in the present AND your goals. You imagine your abundant future as completed. You see it AS IF it is already in your possession. You visualize the future as already having manifested in your life. You feel that future AS IF it is your present. That is how you approach your goal. Someday never ever comes. Today is here and now!

Keep your visualization and affirmations in mind and think about them day and night each day. Feel great! Feel passionate and enthusiastic! Delight in it! Imagine already having what it is you desire and enjoy, savor the incredible feelings! What we focus on we get. What we think about we bring about! Remember this and do these things!

Gratitude launches everything! Develop a positive, powerful sense of gratitude. Appreciate and celebrate all! Start and end your day feeling thankful. This is a HUGE part of this formula for transformation. As you feel grateful allow yourself to open up to receive whatever good benefits are out there for you.

You don’t yet know what these are or how they will come about. BUT allow yourself to get excited and expectant about good things coming your way. Feel the anticipation! Live filled with positive gratitude and expectations! Be thrilled.

DO you understand what you are doing? You develop a mindset that creates the future AS YOUR PRESENT while you celebrate everything about your current situation. This way you are not divided. You are not thinking ‘I want this to happen but life sucks right now’. Instead you say, ‘Everything is wonderful!’ Everything is glorious, congruent and aligned. It is all about generating good feelings.

Your future is marvelous, your present is marvelous and you are able to feel marvelous about your past. Can you imagine how wonderful it is to live each day in this way? Can you imagine how powerful it is to live in celebration and anticipation, excitement, wonder and curiosity? Even in challenges you can see the silver linings.  When you think and feel positively you DO make things work out.

You don’t want to be split or divided in your thinking. You don’t want to think ‘my future is rich but I am poor’. You want to think ‘my future is rich and my present is rich and I am thankful for all. All good things come my way.’ You want your affirmations to be present focused. ‘I am rich’.

Feel how good it feels. Imagine and feel all good things coming your way. You can’t see these yet but believe they are coming. They will come IF you do this everyday and do it well. If you do it half way or only every once in a while you won’t get the benefits you desire. If you do get them they will come much slower. Remember, some day never comes.

You want it make these practices a reliable habit. The daily, moment to moment monitoring of your thoughts and feelings is what impresses your subconscious mind (Reticular Activating System) to find opportunities in current situations and to assist you in utilizing your inner resources to make things happen.

More energy goes into starting this process but as you do it it becomes easier. Soon it will become habit and you won’t have to consciously do as much. It is these habits you want to develop! That is when the subconscious has taken over.

Don’t concern yourself with how any of the changes will come about. Just imagine and affirm what you want repeatedly!  Feel awesome and believe they will come your way and they ultimately will. The transformation occurs within in. Think rich and you can be rich. Think poor and you will stay poor. Attitude is everything!

You will be delighted and surprised how quickly things begin happening when you genuinely engage in these life changing practices. Keep your focus on what you want because we become what we think about. When you are grateful and receptive you have a marvelous attitude. What you thank about you bring about!

Attitude determines how we approach the world and what others see in us. This is how we attract others to help us. We become so filled with life and energy they come to us magnetically. We become alerted to opportunities we might otherwise have missed. We open up to receive gifts of all sizes and kinds. Enjoy the process!”

Delight in this day!

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Why ‘Yes, Thank You’ Works Wonders: How Little Things Make An Incredible Difference!

when u r thankful for what u have more comes

“It is so easy to say NO. Many people are closed off to opportunity and living abundantly because they have lived saying ‘No’ for way for too long. We need to LEARN to say ‘YES’ much more. When we do we can thrive. Instead of living the least amount we ought to live the most! It is possible and it is easy to transform your life!

We can live incredibly well. We can make our dreams and goals come true! We can discover more opportunity, good things and receive gifts we never knew might come our way when we know how. Here is the way you can begin to get more of the wonderful things life offers each of us.

Open up to receiving all good things. Anything positive. You get a great parking space, celebrate! You find a penny on the sidewalk pick it up and pocket it. It is yours! If someone offers you something to try, perhaps in a super market, try it. You don’t have to like it. Just accept it. Stop instantly saying ‘No’! Catch yourself and say, ‘Yes!’

The habit you want to develop is to say ‘Yes’ to good things. It doesn’t matter if they are little or big things. These are opportunities to open up and receive. They are opportunities to explore, to expand your horizons and to discover new things. You may be delighted and surprised with what you discover. These are golden moments in each day!

If you pass up the penny or the free item you are saying ‘Nope!’ Learn to say ‘Yes’ to the good things. If you think, ‘well it is only a penny’ you are missing the point. It is money and if money is a concern for you then open your mind up to finding money anywhere and everywhere. Celebrate whenever money comes your way. It could be anything, health, family, job, housing, transportation related. I’m using only using money as the example, yet it applies to many.

‘Yes’ opens the door for more to come your way. ‘No’ immediately shuts that door. You want to include more into your life. So make being open and accepting these gifts a habit. Live becomes so much more fun and a richer experience when you celebrate everything.

Open your mind to opportunity. Someone invites you to lunch and offers to pay for it, ACCEPT it! Be grateful and thank them and accept it. If someone invites you to a party, office or otherwise, or to an event you might not prefer to go to, say YES, Thanks’ and go anyway. Say ‘Yes’ and ‘Thanks’ to the universe!

Open up to allow new and good things into your life. You try new things, you have new experiences, you may be around new people, all of which you might enjoy and which adds value to you. All of these can add delight to you. These new experiences, these new people may be the very thing that helps you move ahead. You won’t ever know unless you say ‘Yes’ to the possibility.

Be open to everything. Don’t be gullible or stupid about this. If it is genuinely healthy and positive and good for you, allow it, accept it. As you open up to receive little things, and you are excited and grateful for each, you make room for more to come your way. AND more WILL come your way. You will be alerted to more and more!

Your subconscious becomes tuned to discovering more delights just for you. You have instructed your subconscious mind what to look for. You have told it that you are open to wonderful things, people and events in your life. You have trained it to go find more. You have brought it into your service in positive and powerful ways.

You enrich yourself and your life experience because you have developed the habit of receiving and being grateful. Your subconscious will continue to find more for you to celebrate and enjoy! You have transformed yourself. This is a great way to live! Enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Discover the magic in this day!

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