For some of us it is difficult to believe there is good in everything. Sometimes it seems there is just no good to go around, life is difficult and bad things happen.
I think of it this way. Before humans walked the planet events came and went. Some days were gorgeous some filled with calamity. Whatever happened happened. There was no one to label it, to judge it, to call it good or bad. Things occurred.
Some day I will take another form whatever that may be. I will no longer walk the planet so I won’t be around to comment on whether events are good or bad, right or wrong. They will go on without my commentary or criticism.
Since that is the case why should I waste my time while I am here. Isn’t there a better, a wiser use of my time? Wouldn’t I be better off not digging in despair whether the events are personal or global? Life is short. Life is way, way too short, as far as I am concerned, so I want to find a way to maximize the little time on the globe as best I can.
I decided at one time that if I was going to live on the planet I deserved to live in paradise. Whatever the situation is I wanted it to be paradise. What I found when I told others that many said it was not possible given the world and current state of affairs. They would say things like, ‘well there will always be suffering’. They said many things and I heard from many people through the years and the attitude seemed to be’ life was short, you struggle, try to be happy live a good life, hurt no one and die and hope there is an afterlife and that you may be rewarded’.
I thought this is not the way I want to go through my days. It took me some time, a lot of time actually, but one day I decided to decide how I wanted to think about things. I decided, whether it is accurate or not, that I create my experience. Yes, there is much scientific evidence to prove this to be true. Regardless, of whether it is true or not I decided that I create my experience.
I determined I had created a lot of crap in my life and some good things. I looked at me, my life and it occurred to me that I always got what I wanted and what I thought about.
My worst fears seemed to come true. If I was anxious or depressed about something it was harder to move through the world. If I worried about money I never seemed to have enough. Perhaps, it was a chicken and egg thing, and I wasn’t sure what came first. Did I not have money so I worried about it or because I worried about money I never had any. I wasn’t certain, but I decided not to care.
I decided that I would control my thinking. I would endeavor to think the best about myself, my circumstances, my future, the people around me, my family, friends, and even strangers. I would strive to maintain a positive focus. I would concentrate on finding the good in everything as much as I am able. I would find the best in everything and everyone.
It was not always easy, it still isn’t always easy. Sometimes there are challenges and it seems like I may lose my way. I get sidetracked or off course, caught up and I forget what is important and I get hooked. At some point I realize it is my decision. You know it is kind of like a guilty pleasure, but without the pleasure part. You know, , when you know you shouldn’t be doing something but you do it anyway.
Whatever it is, maybe you shouldn’t have that extra helping but you just have too, or you sneak an extra piece of chocolate. You feel guilty. Maybe, guilty isn’t exactly the right word. It isn’t guilt sometimes it is just that you just know there is a better way of being or thinking or behaving. It is like that, at some point, I become aware that I am off base and I need to get back on. I know it is up to me. Sometimes I don’t feel like correcting myself, but I do it anyway (because I have since learned how to). I course correct.
I have learned that just because things are going on around me that are not to my liking, even if everything is crumbling, I do not have to think negative thoughts, or feel bad or respond as I would have in the past. Oh, that was something else i did a lot of. I used to live in the past aggrandizing the good old days or lamenting what was or what never came to be. I gave that up to.
I decided I need to change what I paid attention to. I realized FINALLY, that the past was over and whether it was good or bad there was nothing I could do about it now. I could enjoy my present or not and I could plan my future or not but I could not do one thing about the past. It was over. SO I set my focus on what I wanted my future to be.
I began to think that where I am today is a result of everything I thought and felt and did or didn’t do in the past. My today is a product of my previous thinking. I am where I am because I created it. It didn’t matter to me, and it still doesn’t whether any of this is true or not. It doesn’t have to be true it really doesn’t. What it is – is useful. It is a frame of mind that I adopted as a choice so as to be able to have more control over what the results are in my life. True or not I don’t care.
So I decided to focus on where I want to be and create that instead. I focus on what I want and stay focused on that regardless of what is going on now. I imagine my future how I want it to be, I imagine I have it all in place, and this is what I concentrate on throughout each day.
In my mind I create the future I want to manifest. This was an incredible leap forward for me. Instead of living life looking back I started looking ahead. Instead of letting things happen to me I began to decide what I wanted to have happen. Instead of driving down the road looking in the rearview mirror I began to focus on my destination and how pleasantly I could get there.
I decided, I shouldn’t ignore the present that would be silly, I just don’t have to react to it as if I were a Pavlovian dog salivating to the ringing bell. I decided I would celebrate and appreciate the present. In order to that I had to think that it was worth it even when it may not seem that way. So I made it a point to look for whatever good I could find in whatever was going on and I would accentuate it.
If I experienced calamity and problems I would find whatever was good in the situation and accentuate that. Certainly, accentuating the problem or bad feelings didn’t make me think, feel or do any better but focusing on what was good did. I learned I could chose what I paid attention to. Even if my first thought was to find the bad my second thought became, ‘ok what is good about this?’ I learned I could direct my thinking.
I found as I did this things changed for me. No, not over night but gradually. What I actually discovered was nothing changed in reality other than me and my relationship to reality and THAT actually did change everything. That may be a difficult sentence or concept to grasp right now but my life transformed.
I learned that whatever was going on I could decide how to feel and think about it. I was the one in charge. Just be cause bad things happened I didn’t have to chose to be unhappy. I lived that way for years, without choice, now I began to exercise my choices. When I became the person who chose what to think and feel yes everything changed for me.
I was clearer in my thinking, I enjoyed each moment more, I found more delight in simple things, I discovered opportunities I might not have otherwise, I felt better, I was open to more things, I met new people and engaged in new activities. It was as if a whole new world opened up.
And guess what, every moment I had to decide to chose. Things came up that would have caused me to feel bad and I chose not to. Some things came up and I found myself feeling bad and thinking less than glorious thoughts but when I realized what I was doing I steered my thinking and feeling back to finding the good, celebrating and appreciating and being positive.
It is a daily duty. Heck, maybe every second I am doing it.
I found it got easier and there were longer periods of time when I felt wonderful. The down times got shorter. I got better at recognizing when I was wallowing or not serving myself well. AND that is incredible!
I had decided to treat myself as God would have me be treated. Okay, I know some will bristol here because of whatever beliefs you may have, but I decided that if there is a God and God wants the best for me why shouldn’t I want the same for myself. I deserve to have all the wonderful things.
I discovered that the wonderful things don’t come from having more things. It comes from being more wonderful. It comes from having less stress, depression, anxiety, anger, frustration. It comes from taking the bull by the horns and deciding to do something for myself and to keep on doing it no matter what. I decided I would never ever quit or give up. If I had to boot strap it I would, if the going got tough if I had to be tough I would get going. I decided that the end result was worth the price, whatever that price was I had to pay. AND it is!
I am getting so much more back than I pay for it is incredible!” Rex Sikes
More on this next time. Meanwhile have a fabulous day!