Category Archives: Persistence

4 Reasons Why We Fail And What You Can Do To Succeed Part 2

The-Moment-You-Take-Responsibility-350x206

“In these two posts and in previous ones I have been provided successful ways to counteract defeat. You don’t have to fail. Failure does not have to be an option. You can move forward into success when you keep certain principles in mind. For each of the reasons for failure listed there are means and methods to continue on and be successful.

People give up or fail because they fail to realize things take time. They haven’t learned to control their thoughts and feelings. They forget they are in a process and that defeat is momentary. They get distracted by current circumstances and lose their focus. They give in to negative thoughts, self-talk and doubt. They lose faith in their abilities. They have not yet developed the winning attitude.

The following is continued from previous post: Part  2.

It all works synergistically.  Maintain positive thoughts, feelings and behaviors and you get more from your effort. To LEARN to stay focused you must STAY focused. In the same way as if you want to learn to cook you have got to cook.

If you want to build a muscle you have to do the exercise. Consistent, repeated, correct action brings results. Focus on the powerful and positive. Focus on your definite chief aim, your goal and maintain your focus. Stay focused!

If you are wishy washy and go back and forth it takes longer. You have to understand, however, that is part of learning how to do something. We get off course, make mistakes and correct them. You bring your focus back each time you realize you have gone astray.

This is the correction process. As you continue to correct you educate yourself where to keep your attention and you make focusing a habit. You also make self-correction a habit. This is necessary. A rocket has a correction mechanism to keep it on course. So does a GPS. You hone your inner GPS for success.

Realize that you will be wishy washy for awhile as you learn to maintain your focus. Learning HOW to stay focused IS learning how to overcome the tendency to wander and to bring yourself back to what is important. The learning process includes making mistakes. Get over the notion it will only be easy and effortless. It will be whatever it will be so stick with it.

Understanding the game of life, the rules and how it is played is half the battle. Knowing in advance that there will be rough spots, corrections needed, times of doubt, loss of focus, as well as times of ease, exhilaration and celebration help us get through it all. When we have an idea of what we face we can persist no matter what.

While you are going though the process accept that you are in the process. Accept it will take some time. Celebrate that you are in the process and learning to make the changes you want. Celebrate and be grateful for each moment good and bad. Celebrate and learn from the hardships. The attitude to have is to celebrate everything! Your Attitude IS everything! It makes an incredible difference.

Through celebration and gratitude you will manage your images and self-talk and will move through the process more smoothly and quickly. It WILL be quicker and easier if you understand it and don’t fight it. The point is to think and  feel marvelous most of the time.

You will fight it anyway. REALIZE that you will resist. Realize what you resist persists. Eventually, you will let go and move through it! Much of the learning is learning how to get out of your own way. In time you will. All of this IS PART OF the process. There will be ups and downs.

That is our nature. Few of us can completely dive in and do it 100% BUT if you are persistent and consistent in dedication you will make it.  Manage yourself! Take 100% responsibility for everything. Control your thoughts and feelings and you will develop a winning attitude. This is crucial! Attitude IS everything! So are your good feelings!

Don’t succumb to the down times. They are only temporary. They may not seem as though they are but they will pass. It may seem difficult but as you get through it, each time you do, you develop the ability to move through trouble spots faster and easier. EVERYTHING is learning and you are learning to develop new habits or you are giving into the old ones. Either you are up or down.

Stay focused. People give up because they lose sight of their ultimate destination. They get distracted by current difficult circumstances. Keep you heart and mind set on your goal. Manage your mental movies and self-talk so you learn to remain powerful and positive. Keep your eye on the goal. Don’t get caught by current events.

See your goal as completed, AS IF YOU ALREADY MADE IT HAPPEN and feel the wonderful feelings. Keep your attention there. Visualize daily in your mental movie theater. Shout out loud and enthusiastically affirm the kind of person you are, what you are able to do and what you want and are going making happen each step along the way. The goal is to feel wonderful most of the time!

Celebrate and be thankful and you will get through the rough and the tough spots. Feel wonderful about it all! Be passionate! Be enthusiastic and joyful. Have fun through it all! Enjoy everything. Don’t gripe or complain or wallow for too long.

We get and we become what we think about most. Think and feel marvelous most of the time and you become it.  What we hold in our head we can someday hold in our hand. Expect to succeed. Have faith. Believe in your ability to learn to make changes. Passionately pursue your goals and dreams. Believe. Those who fail, ultimately don’t believe they will succeed, they only hope.

Remember, once you have set course to pursue what you want and you began practicing these principles you enter the conscious competence phase. THIS IS the phase when you most need to be in control of your thinking process. You need to stay focused and not get distracted by your situation.

You need to remain positive and believe you will get there. You must be patient and persistent even when it may appear hopeless. This is when you need to celebrate and keep going!

Keep your mind on what you want and know that you can do it! Stay focused, positive and filled with gratitude. Believe in yourself and live with passion. Enjoy and delight in the process every step along the way. After all, it is the journey to the destination where we spend most of our time so make it marvelous. Make it really, really marvelous! ” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible day!

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4 Reasons Why We Fail And What We Can Do To Succeed Part 1

be faithful in small things

“‘Have you ever wondered why you don’t get things right away?’ OR Why some people give up on their goals? Have you thought, ‘Will I ever make it?’ You may have.  Most of all of us have wondered.

There are reasons why people give up on their goals or fail to get them. There are reasons why others succeed in making their dreams come true. Success of failure is up to each of us. Here are some of the reasons for failure and what to do to succeed.

We need to understand and accept that some things are just the way they are. Then stop complaining about it. It is the way things are. It is nature. How frequently do you complain about gravity being an issue. I bet almost never. We just accept it. Learn to accept what IS.

Understand this: Some things just take time. There is a season to harvest. Not everything is immediate. Some people just aren’t patient. They don’t get this concept; keep on going until you get there.  Stay with it. Be patient.  Relax on this it takes time.

You miss opportunity when you hurry. When you are rushed and stressed you don’t see or think clearly. You miss out and lose out. When you THINK you have to have it is a constraint. You are putting pressure on yourself for a deadline. You have to realize you can’t push a rope. Happiness and success don’t conform to the clock.

Most people  fail because they don’t manage their thoughts. They aren’t in control of their images and self talk so they talk themselves out of it. Success and happiness is 99% mental and 1% what we do. The inner world determines the results we get in the outer world and not the other way around.

We need to manage and control our minds so we are able to do the 1% efficiently and effectively otherwise we spin our wheels. We can struggle and work hard and not get very far if our thinking isn’t right to begin with. When it comes to our efforts it is not what we do but how we do it that is most important.

Hardship helps us! It is a part of life. Some people gripe and  think life should be easier. They give up when the going gets rough. There is a price to pay for everything. You have to endure and be strong. This is why mindset is so important. Weak thinking leads to poor results.

YOU are in the PROCESS of changing.  You aren’t at the end yet. You are somewhere along the way. You are in the Conscious Competence stage much of the time. This is the phase of mastery where you talk yourself through it and attempt to consciously manage all the components.

You aren’t done yet. You are on the way to making your new skills a habit but you aren’t there yet. So relax in the process don’t fight it. Understand it and work with it. You move through it faster when you assist it instead of resist it. Be patient. Pursue your dreams with a relaxed positive mindset. Remind yourself, you are IN the process!

Just as when you cook a beautiful meal you prepare it, season it, and cook it. It takes whatever time it takes. If you remove it from the oven early it won’t be the meal you anticipate. Give it the time it needs.

As you develop the habits of success you gain in momentum. Everything becomes easier and you handle difficulties better. It takes time and correct repetition over a period of time for a habit to be born. You are creating new neural pathways and behaviors.

New thoughts lead to new behaviors. This is actually an exciting time if you let it be. It can be a time of delight and wonderful enjoyment. You will learn and have many ‘ahas’ and insights that can thrill you and inspire you. You can be motivated and excited to incorporate your learnings.

When you recognize where you are in the process it becomes so much easier. It won’t magically make everything fantastic but when you understand a bit about what you are going through and what you may expect to encounter it takes the edge off. Once the edge is off you are free to feel as incredible as you will chose to. It is up to you!

This recognition and understanding allows you to remember to put your attention in areas that matter instead of going astray. You need to stay focused and not get distracted by circumstances, doubts, fear or worry. More about all this in the next blog post.  As a reminder I have discussed each of these issues in previous blog pages. Go back and review. It will help a great deal.

Know this! YOU can be the success you want. You can have happiness, love, wealth, health anything your heart desires when you take 100% responsibility for learning how to make these happen and then applying what you learned.

Knowledge is useless unless you use it.  Use what you are learning and make yourself and your life what you want them to be. Transform your mind and heart and you transform your life. You deserve to enjoy each and every moment. So go ahead and delight yourself! ” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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Put An End To Performance Anxiety

align yourself with mentors

“Performance anxiety was on the mind of a friend lately and he asked me how I, as an actor, overcome it. What follows is pretty much my response to his question. I added some audition and performance information at the end of my reply to him to further explore the concept.

‘Worry comes from what we think about and where we place our attention.  The trick is to put your attention where it is useful (on the performance, or on the pitch when pitching your idea) and not on others or in self critique. It is a knack and you get better at it with repeated trial and effort.

Meditation can benefit because it helps one relax, calm thoughts and feel centered. Energy goes where you place your attention. Positive thoughts can help because one learns to steer away from the less than glorious thinking to the useful and productive. It is simple to do and may require effort but it can definitely be mastered by anyone.

ANYONE can reduce stress and anxiety and feel positive and powerful by learning how to place their attention where it needs to be. Just as you learned to play your musical instrument it is a skill you develop. Nothing mysterious about it!

You get good at playing music or a sport or any ability through correct practice. You can readily make the change you want! You WILL have to apply yourself and KEEP with it until you get the changes you want. You can do it.

You will be able to do it! Simply take it bit by bit, step by step and you will surprise yourself. As we learn there is a phase when we have to talk ourself through it as we did when we learned to ride a bike or drive a car (actually any skill). There is a period of time when we are klutzy. Sometimes we do well and other times not so well.  Ultimately, the process streamlines and we become competent riders or drivers.

This occurs because our subconscious through repetition eventually makes it a habit. It becomes a reliable skill and we no longer have to think it or talk ourselves through it. We have acquired the skill. The same is true about getting over anxiety. You practice the new way and as you practice it won’t seem like magic, but as you stick with it, eventually it will work like magic because you develop the new skill set.

You just have to stick with it and get through the difficult or awkward phase. Learning to do this new thing is the same as learning to do anything else. It comes from doing the new thinking and behaving over and over again while making adjustments or corrections. You do it repeatedly. Enough times over a time period and you develop the skill as habit. Since you have learned many things you can learn this too.

You will do well as you move forward. At first, it seems more difficult, sometimes even scarier, than it actually is. Perception is everything. If we think of those who listen to our music, our pitch, or witness our performance as friends, who support us and enjoy what we do, we are much more comfortable. Mind set and attitude, is the key! See what you want in your mind’s eye. Visualize and rehearse inside your mind feeling and performing as you wish to. Create and rehearse that inner reality.

I encourage you to read and re-read my blog because I discuss these very things.  Meanwhile continue to celebrate and enjoy!  AND realize that when you want to change your life you have to make changes in your life. You can’t get different results doing the same things over again. You have to make changes that get you what you want to have.’

That is what I shared. There is much to be said about being realistic and staying in charge even when you are not in control of the outer circumstances. Here is what I mean.

I have had some incredible auditions lately and booked work. I have had some incredible auditions lately and did not book work. I even had one audition that I was mentally prepared for and eager about that I blew completely. I struck completely out and did nothing I had intended to do. That is just how it goes sometime.

In my previous incarnation I would have been preoccupied mostly with the auditions I didn’t book and the one I blew. That is where my focus would have been and it would have brought me down. I would have wallowed for months.

In this incarnation I learn what I can from what I did or did not do, get as much feed back as possible, apply the learning (because otherwise I really haven’t learned anything unless I use it) and move forward. I stop thinking about the fish I didn’t catch and focus on the ones caught and how to improve for the future.

Life is so much better and freer when we are able to let go and forget about what doesn’t work. Learn from it, extract the lessons, and maintain focus on what we do want and intend to create.  Sometimes we strike out.  If you play baseball you strike out more than you hit, and far more times than you get on base or a home run.

That is just how the game works. If you want to play the game you accept it and do not let it get you down. Keep your head up, your chin held high, think the best, feel the best, be grateful and move forward with positive anticipation for making your dreams come true. Never quit.  Adjust and keep moving forward.

This is how we get what we want. It has nothing to do with pie in the sky wishful thinking. It is about developing an unstoppable ‘I can do whatever I set out to do’ attitude. Defeats along the way do not stop us. They teach us and make us stronger and better. So keep going and make your dreams come true.” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible day!

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Are You A Winner? Find Out Now!

i choose

“These questions should be easy to answer for each of us but for too many these are difficult questions. Can you answer each? The answers you give are important and determine how far you get and how easy or difficult that will be. Who are you? What do you want more than anything else in the world? What price would you pay to have what you want?

The clearer you are and the better you answer each of these the more easily you can make your goals and dreams come true. Do you think of yourself as a person who can accomplish anything you want? Certainly, you ought to. Look to your inner resources and recognize yourself as one who has the power to make your dream come true. Decide you can work by yourself and co-operatively with others to make it happen.

If you don’t know how or feel yourself resourceful enough at this moment you can learn to. You are capable, positive and powerful. You can learn to make any change you want so take the opportunity. Make it a priority. Since we become what we think about all day long make certain that what you think about is worthwhile and positive. Too many waste their time occupied with unimportant tasks or behaviors that don’t get them anywhere.

Decide what you want in clear compelling detail. Those who succeed most readily are driven by what it is they want and need to accomplish. They know precisely what their dream is and what they would pay to make it happen. In researching 500 of the wealthiest doers in America Napoleon Hill stated you can attain your  Dominant Chief Aim when it is backed up by a passionate burning desire, and kept in your mind day and night.

Hill stated you must devote yourself to making it happen and believe, have faith, and expect to create it without giving up. He found those who anticipated success were far more likely to attain it. They persisted in spite of the odds. They understood success exacted a high price and only those willing to pay it were ultimately successful. They didn’t lose sight of their destination when things got tough. They changed their plans as necessary but not their goals. They kept going!

What they did stemmed from the kind of person they were. People who succeeded were positive, optimistic and unstoppable. They believed in themselves, had the right attitude and were convinced they would succeed. They focused on what they wanted not the obstacles before them. They were leaders leading themselves forward. They were in charge 100% responsible. They were flexible, they were learners and they kept going forward toward their goal.

Most people wish rather than plan. They hope for better days instead of intending to have them.  We don’t have the ability to wish things into being but we are able to command them. Hill pointed out that most of our success stemmed from 99% what we did in our heads and 1% from the actions we took. If our mental attitude and beliefs were aligned then our actions were too and we did the right things to bring about success.

Many work hard, efforting a lot, but their minds are not prepared for success. Success favors the prepared mind. Most people’s attitudes are defeatist so they end up spinning their wheels and not getting very far. They whine, blame circumstances and hope to get ahead instead of taking 100% responsibility and intending to get ahead come what may. Challenges are part of the process.

There is a reason why Hill titled his book THINK And Grow Rich. He did not call it Work Hard And Grow Rich. People have it backwards. THINK right and you do the RIGHT hard work AND that makes all the difference. Think wrong and you spend your life on the hamster treadmill. It isn’t the amount of effort that makes a difference it is knowing the RIGHT effort.

Your dream has to be more important than anything else! You must think on it day and night and believe in YOUR ability to make it happen. You must devote yourself to becoming the kind of person who can accomplish what you set your heart to accomplish. When you seek to learn how and to help others get ahead while you get ahead you can have anything you desire.

There is a formula to make it all work. Those who become successful aren’t only those born to it. Those who succeed in life first succeed in learning how to transform themselves into becoming the kind of person who is able to make their dreams come true. We first learn how to think right in order to create the success we desire. We manage our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. How we succeed is by becoming the type of person WHO succeeds. You can do this!  ” Rex Sikes

Delight in this day for no reason at all! Simply delight!

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Realize, Recognize, Remember and Awaken!

dream it and do it

“People have thanked me and I appreciate that. People have subscribed to and shared these posts and, again, thanks so much. That really helps! Some people asked why I do it. Why have I blogged these 250 plus daily consecutive posts. The reason is we all need a little daily inspiration and some daily gratitude to start our day. I wanted to be able to contribute to others in this fashion.

I also wanted to help people to remember that they can be, do and have anything they want. It is true we can make the seemingly miraculous happen. So daily I write to help others and myself think about it and remember that we are capable of so many positive things when we take charge. Each day I hope more of us awaken to the realization that anything is possible when we put out mind to it.

There are ways of being and living joyously that many of us have not experienced because we have not tried it yet, or perhaps we didn’t even know it was possible given our past history. I write to encourage people to give it a try, to sample the good things life has to offer, and to enjoy more of life. When we can help each other move forward and be happier and healthier and wealthier we are improving our world by enriching our people. I feel so blessed I want to share it.

When we each take 100% responsibility for our life we can make our life whatever we want it to be. That means we take responsibility for all the bad and all the good. We can debate whether or not this concept is accurate or not but that misses the point. WHEN the buck stops with you and no one else you take a position of power and of leadership. You call the shots. You no longer are at the effects of the world but you are at cause.

From this position you determine where you want to end up and how you want to travel. You decide what to do and and how to feel if there are challenges or detours. It is up to you how you will face them, overcome them and persist to your destination. The decisions are all yours. When you are the person in charge life becomes more meaningful and more exciting. It becomes thrilling because you become aware of the incredible responsibility you have to make it wonderful for yourself AND others.

With  power comes great responsibility. When you have power you need to protect those who have less. They are in your care. We are can-do people and we help others do likewise. A million candles can light off of one candle. The only requirement is that first candle be lit. Light your candle. Take charge of your life. Inspire others to do the same.

Why do I do it? I write to help each of us realize, recognize, remember or awaken to who we are and to what we can accomplish when we believe that we can.” Rex Sikes

Have fun today! Discover!

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People You Need To Know Who Are Responsible For Your Success And Happiness!

be the type of person you want to meet

“Some people think changing for the better is difficult. They don’t think they can get ahead. It is true for them because they don’t want to face the truth. They refuse to accept it. If you want to make pervasive, positive, big changes in your life you have to accept this fact and live totally from it. Then change becomes easier.

The  truth: there is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you. You are 100% responsible for everything. Most people don’t want to hear this and deny it but it is accurate. It is all the result of what you are doing or not doing. You are successful or not because of YOUR thoughts, feelings, attitudes and behaviors.

Whether you have great relationships at home, with partners or friends, whether you have lots of money of little, whether you experience great or limited fitness and health it is up to you. Career, leisure, possessions are all up to you. You determine what you have or don’t have. You are either in control or you are not.

Most people want to blame others. They blame their parents, teachers and authority figures for what they did OR didn’t do. They blame their upbringing and personal history. They think events circumstances, and anything or anyone external to them has caused their problems. They put the cause outside of themselves instead of where it belongs. The cause resides in each of us.

Because they blame others and circumstances they remain stuck. You don’t become a victor living as a victim. You don’t move forward looking backwards. You don’t succeed pointing fingers. Those who get ahead know where they are headed and aim in that direction. They do whatever it takes to get there even when it means hardship and detours. They persist and prevail.

It is true bad things can happen. It is also true that some people may have begun with certain advantages, yet, people who started with nothing have triumphed powerfully. People have overcome incredible odds once or multiple times to make their dreams come true. Some have started off well, lost everything and gained it all back. Everyone responds to what life presents them. Either sink or swim.

Successful people, who are live the kind of lives they want, who have positive relationships, good health, lots of wealth in a variety of ways, take COMPLETE responsibility for the thoughts they think. They know that what we think about we become. They know they are in charge and no one else. They know that that create whatever predominantly occupies their mind.

They understand that what you focus on you get. They manage their visualizations, their self-talk and their feelings. They take full responsibility for their attitude and behavior and the results they get or don’t get. They know you can’t get uphill thinking downhill thoughts or feeling less than glorious. ‘Making it’ requires a vast amount of positive energy so they stay positive.

They don’t waste time criticizing, blaming and wallowing. The successful take feedback and learn from their efforts. They adjust their plans as needed to to get back on track and move forward. They understand if it is going to happen it is up to them and no one else. Successful people realize that in order to have the life they want to live they have to create it.

To enjoy success in career and life and overall happiness you have to take 100% responsibility for everything. You have to put yourself in charge of the results you get. You navigate the course. You put yourself in the driver’s seat and steer the vehicle to your ultimate destination. You determine how you enjoy the journey and how long it takes. You determine the outcome.

Get to know yourself as a can-do person. Become a person who does whatever you set your mind to do.  If you want your life to change you can’t continue doing what you have been doing all along. You have to make positive changes so you can get to where you want to go. It is all up to you! YOU are the person responsible for your success and happiness!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate this day! It is yours.

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Expect Blow Back But Don’t Cave!

we first make our habits then our habits make us

“Whenever you make a change, when anyone does, old patterns, habitual ways of thinking and doing things rear their heads. You are changing the status quo and the guard wants to preserve the old ways. It is going to happen. You will resist you!

The changes and habits you implement are new and the old ways long to remain the same.  Even people close to you may resist the new you and attempt to keep you in the same mold. This resistance to the new you and your changes is called blow back or push back.

Our subconscious which runs our programming, our tapes, our movies, our behaviors attempts to keep things the way they have been. This is why habits can seem difficult to change. We can change them and we still may get some blow back. In time it will diminish!

It works like your thermostat does to keep the temperature the same in your room. It turns on your furnace if the temperature in room drops below your setting. It turns it off if the temperature goes higher that what you set it at. It works to maintain sameness; where you set it.

When we change, just like a rubber band there is a tendency to snap back. To move forward easily it is worth knowing it will happen. Then we must be aware of it when it does occur and we must recognize it for what it is. It is only resistance to change!

It is a protective mechanism so that things remain stable in your life. You learn patterns, habits and routines so that life is reliable. You don’t have to learn and re-learn the same things over again. When you start changing and learning new things this protective mechanism comes to your aid. So don’t don’t fight it. It is a resource.

Don’t resist your resistance to change. It will  get easier. It really does and much sooner if you don’t fight and whine and complain. That only puts more energy into resistance. That delays things. Turn your attention to the new thoughts, feelings and behaviors you want instead.

Focus on what you DO want. Do not focus on what you don’t want or the blow back. This is where most people get off course. They get all pie in the sky airy fairy instead of understanding that they are on a new path and there may be difficulty. Accept that it is likely to occur.

Then you are prepared for it. Then whatever comes your way or however difficulty it may temporarily seem you will keep at it and not succumb to it or quit. When the going gets tough the tough get going. So hang in there! Keep doing the new positive things!

The key to change is to not upset the apple cart even when the apple cart gets upset.. Accept it. Accept that with changing comes resistance and go on. Accept everything and stay on your path. Don’t cave in to your old habits or to peer pressure.

Stay focused on your goals and dreams. Plenty will come along to distract you, to dissuade and discourage you but don’t let anything knock you off your course. Recognize obstacles and problems as opportunities for growth. Everything can work together to move you forward when you stay focused. Persist but don’t resist!” Rex Sikes

Today, spend time with someone you love? Have a great day!

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