Are You Headed In The Wrong Direction? How You Can Tell!

life worth risking for a dream

“How can you tell if you are moving in the right direction? Why is being focused on what you want such an issue? How come you can’t focus on what you don’t want or nothing at all? What about luck? Isn’t it possible to make it without all this positive mind thinking stuff?

Some people think this way. They have reasons for not thinking positive. They want to do it their way. If they are getting the results they want to get and are happy with their lives more power to them. I have no argument with that.

The Issue Is What You Focus On

The problem for most of us is this. If you think, ‘I hate it here’ that thought doesn’t tell you where else would be better. It only keeps you locked into what is uncomfortable. It focuses you on what you do not like now.

It doesn’t help you to see what might be better now or in the future. It gets you no closer to your goals nor does it provide any direction for you to get them. If you are focused on what you don’t want you are not headed in the right direction.

When you catch yourself doing this, ask yourself, ‘where else would I rather be?’ Then focus on the answer you get. Discover your destination. Choose it! Then you can ask ‘why do I want to be there? ‘or ‘why do I want this?’ and that will help get you the reasons and the motivations. (more on the power of why in a future blog post).

If you ask, ‘how can I get there’ you may get the answer or you may not know it yet. That is okay. Ultimately, you will develop a plan. Knowing where you want to be and why are actually a very good start. It gives you direction and reasons for moving ahead.

Brains Target Results – Learn To Use This

Brains move in a direction. Your mind moves in a direction. It targets and goes after what you want if you train it to go after what you want. Otherwise, it will go after whatever has the highest emotional signal value. Whatever you think about most during your day.

If what you don’t want looms up in front of you and you intensely react with fear or loathing your brain will get it for you. It doesn’t know not to. It understands powerful images and feelings. It targets them and works to get more of them.

If on the other hand what you want is powerful and you feel intensely good feelings it will go after that. It doesn’t know not to because it targets based on what you hold in your mind and what you intensely feel.

The cool part is being positive and feeling positive feels better for you. SO you get what you want while enjoying the feelings. This is reason enough to think positive, don’t you think?

However, if you go back and forth you get mixed results. If you want it but doubt it your brain starts and stops. You focus on what you want and then don’t want, then want, your brain tries to give you each and you end up stuck with poor results. You have to choose!

If You Do Nothing Nothing Will Change

You can hope you get there. You can wish. You can wait for something to change. You can rely on luck to help out. You could do nothing at all and remain where you are ‘hating it’, OR you can decide what you want is to not be stuck and do whatever it takes to travel to where you want. You must decide!

You know what you didn’t want. You knew what you hated. This provided the impetus for you to change. The bad thoughts and feelings alerted you that you were in a place you did not want to be.

If you use these feelings correctly they help you to clarify what you DO want so you can move away from what you hate and begin getting what you want. It helps you moved from stuck to action.

Clarify And Visualize What You Want

Now stay focused on what it is you want. Imagine what you want clearly in your mind’s eye, in your mental movie theater. See it as if you already have what you want. Imagine how good this feels. Stay with the feelings. Emphasize them. Allow them to grow. Really feel them!

See it as vividly as you can. Imagine looking out through your own eyes and seeing this world from your point of view. You are living your dreams. You have what you want. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you feeling? What are you experiencing?

How To Target And Visualize

As an example, if you imagined yourself in a new home. What does it feel like to live there? What’s it like to walk from room to room? What do you see? How are the rooms decorated and furnished? This is your home see it in detail. Inside and outside? What kind of car is in the driveway? What’s the landscaping like? Who lives there with you?

Imagine what you say to yourself when you have what you want, what do you hear? Enjoy all these incredible feelings? Perhaps, there are smells associated with this home, enjoy them. Make it as real as possible as if you can reach out and touch it.

Use Affirmations Keep It Positive

Affirm this! Keep your self-talk positive? See this in your mind again and again. What we are consumed with we create. What we think about we bring about. What we hold in our head first we can some day hold in our hand. Ask Directed Questions™.

Visualize it day and night. There are two ways to imagine it. You can see yourself over there in the house and watch yourself walk through it. You can see how you behave in your home. This is great. Let it inspire you! Also, you can imagine it from your point of view as I previously described. BOTH are fantastic and powerful.

You can keep a vision board and get pictures of your home. You can tour homes with real estate agents and take your a picture of the home you want. AND take pictures with YOU IN the type of home you want. DO whatever you can to make the images real to you.

It Is Okay If You Don’t Have  A Plan Yet

You may not yet know how you are going to make this happen and that is okay. Keep focused on what you want. Keep savoring the wonderful feelings. The more intensely you feel these as you imagine having it the more your subconscious works on it. You will develop a plan. You may want to set a realistic deadline date, or not.

In the meantime, enjoy it. Be grateful for everything. Feel passionate about the home. Know it is coming. Expect it. Think ‘I am creating this or something better!’ Allow for something even better than what you have created to be yours. Be willing to be surprised!

Be Committed And You Will Get Results

You don’t really get anywhere because YOU aren’t COMMITTED to any one direction. To get what you want you must be focused on what you want to the exclusion of all else. Keep your eye on the prize no matter what it takes or how long. Dedicate yourself!

Don’t compare, now to then. Don’t let not having it presently keep you from not having it in the future. Don’t be wishy washy, don’t go back and forth. Focus on what you want. Intend it! Create it! Make it happen! Have backbone more than wishbone. Persist in your pursuit.

Do not focus on what you don’t want. Learn the art of self control. Stay with your goal. Know what you want and imagine getting it and having it. Learn to manage your thoughts and feelings and make them work for you. Either YOU are in charge of your thoughts or your thoughts are in charge of you. Decide which it is going to be!

The key is to turn completely away from the negative and toward the positive. DO not let present circumstances dissuade you from your goal. Do not let obstacles distract you. Keep focused on creating what you want. What you think about you bring about!

You always get results! You always get results,  intended or otherwise. You want to get intended results, don’t you? Then you must know what you want. You must know where you want to go. This is the necessary first step in the journey. Then you must commit to making it happen.

If you don’t know what you want or where you want to get how do you expect to ever have it or get there? Clarify your goals and dreams today!” Rex Sikes

This is YOUR day!

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Do This When Frustrated, Angry or Feeling Bad!

worry takes away today's peace

“How can you tell if you are focused on what you don’t want or what you do want? It is actually easy. Your have a signaling system that you can use. It alerts you when you are on or off track. You only need to learn how to recognize it to use it. It requires is becoming aware.

Your Feelings Are Your Signal System

If you are frustrated it is a signal you are focused on what you do not want. Negative emotion is the signal you are focused on what you don’t want. When you are feeling good and have positive emotions it is a signal you are focused on what you want.

Negative emotion only means you are thinking about what you do not want. Whatever you are thinking about mostly is what you get more of. You create the conditions of your life experience. You manifest more of the same. What you think about you become.

If you are frustrated, angry, depressed, anxious, worried, fearful, blaming and accusing, whining and complaining you are spending time and energy in a less than glorious place. The feelings that cause you to blame or complain are the signal.

If you catch yourself criticizing and speaking poorly about self, others, events and situations that is a signal. A clue you are focused in less than productive ways on what you do not want.

Once you become aware you are feeling negative, feeling frustrated, and you don’t like feeling that way you can do two things. First, you can get more frustrated, and more angry, you can get more intensely negative to the point where you think and say and commit to yourself,  ‘never again!’ You can ramp it up and get to that ‘this is the last straw’ point. From this point you can make changes you need to.

That is one way of dealing with it. It can and does occur naturally for people. They just get to the point where they know they have to change. That intense emotion is fine as long as it serves to take them to a place where they stop focusing on the negative and begin focusing on the positive.

The negative feelings are the signal you are not focusing on what you want. However, if you don’t change your focus to what you do want you won’t have the relief or get the results you hope for. You must wake up, pay attention to the signal and change what you are doing.

You must switch your attention. THAT IS WHAT your feelings have been trying to get you to do. You feelings are trying to GET YOUR ATTENTION enough for you to notice so you can SWITCH!

Remember, if you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. It is an opportunity to be productively different.

Clarify What You Do Want

Use the powerful negative feelings to figure out what it is you do want. Stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive. Commit to staying focused on the positive. Whenever you feel negative there is an adjustment you should make. That IS the signal you are off course.

You have an internal guidance system. You have an internal GPS. You have a system designed to be self correcting. The unwanted thoughts and feelings inform you that you are off course. Don’t fight them, celebrate when you recognize the signal and make the necessary changes. Less than glorious means time to change!

Some people have spent so many years ignoring or fighting and pushing down and repressing their feelings they have difficulty telling when they are feeling good or  less than glorious. Still, you can learn to pay attention and benefit from this internal guidance bit by bit, Awareness is your key! It may be more subtle but you can do it.

Commit to paying attention. Do a self inventory frequently though out the day by asking ‘how am I feeling’ . Take a moment to evaluate and be honest. It is useful  to color chart your feelings using crayon or markers to indicate the changes during the day.

Notice predominant colors and notice how frequently you actually fluctuate. This is a great learning tool Give it a shot and you may surprise yourself.

You can ask someone  to assist you by pointing out when you are acting in certain ways. Just don’t bite their head off when they help. The goal is to become aware when you are feeling less than glorious so you can change direction.

Second, Make Incremental Change

You change from bad to a little bit better. Step by step. The goal is to feel a bit better. Actually, the goal is to feel the best you can most of the time, but if you are intensely down or angry going from that place to joyous is too big a leap.

Going from angry to frustrated is a smaller step and a worthwhile one. You are learning to lessen the anger and move away from it.

People either get frustrated and then angry or they can get angry and cool off to frustrated. It is like a gate that can move in either direction. A swinging door. So when you are really mad the goal is to cool off and begin to think of what you do want.

If you are down you want to get to a bit better place. A place more okay and begin thinking about what you do want. If you are depressed you may want to get frustrated and angry. At least, from angry you can act.

Because it is intense you create more movement. From there you can more readily change. Regardless, one needs to get to a place where ‘enough is enough’ and then make positive productive change.

What you want makes you feel good when you think about it. If when think about what you want you feel bad you aren’ t thinking about what you do want. You probably are thinking about how you don’t have what you do want.

You won’t feel good if you compare where you are to where you want to be unless you are celebrating closing the gap. If as you inch your way forward you are delighted the entire time then it is fine.

Gratitude Helps Make Everything Better

If you celebrate everything you are on the right track and you will feel better more of the time. How can you feel down and out, frustrated, angry or bored when you are thankful and happy and delighted about everything? You can’t!

Find every little thing you can to enjoy, and appreciate. The more you find the better you will feel.

Once you make gratitude and celebration a daily habit you will be thinking and feeling good most of the time. You will be much closer to making your dreams come true as you live this way. Then your head and heart is clear to find more opportunity and advantages each day. You are better equipped to handle obstacles, and disappointment. You are far more resilient and resourceful!

When you live in gratitude and celebration everything is incredible and getting better at the same time. It is one of the wisest and most powerful choices you can make. Celebrate everything, even the tough stuff! Look for the silver lining and emphasize it. Never waste an opportunity to feel grand!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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How To Use Your Negative Thoughts

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“You aren’t one of those people who waste time and energy worrying about what you can’t do, are you? You know you will never get rich by focusing on being poor or on what you don’t have, right? I mean, if you don’t know where you are headed how do you ever expect to get there? Have you considered this?

You won’t know what you CAN DO by worrying about what you can’t do. You won’t get stronger by being focused on weakness. You will never discover what works by focusing on what doesn’t. You won’t get positive by thinking negative. HOWEVER, there is some use to negative thinking, did you know that?

How To Utilize Your Negative Thoughts

Whenever you catch yourself thinking about what you don’t want you can turn it to your advantage. You can use those negative thoughts, the ‘I don’t want’ thoughts to IDENTIFY what it is you do want. You can use them to make something better for yourself.

When you become aware that you are negative or focused on what you do not want THAT IS THE PRECISE MOMENT to say ‘I know I don’t want this!’ Then ASK YOURSELF, ‘What is it I do want?’ Focus strongly on what you do want and define it. Declare it! Affirm it!

‘I don’t want this. I WANT THIS INSTEAD!’

NOW you can do something powerful. You can move away from what you do not want and begin moving towards what you do want. NOW you know where you want to end up. You know your destination and can travel in that direction.

When you know what you don’t want, don’t have or don’t like it can help you get clear, precise, and targeted on what it is you actually do want. This is great because the more precise you can be, the more detail you can add into your mental images of what you DO want the more real it becomes to your subconscious mind.

It Begins With Awareness

The moment you become aware that your focus is negative or on what you don’t want STOP! THEN you stop creating what you don’t want. You stop attracting what you don’t want. Then you stop bringing about all the negative things you are thinking about.

We become what we think about. We get what we focus on. What we think about we bring about. Birds of a feather flock together.

If you are thinking negative thoughts you are creating more negativity. NOW your opportunity is to create more positivity. Now you can begin to create what you want instead. Stop thinking about what you don’t want. Let it go! Drop those thoughts completely!

Turn your attention to what you DO want. Keep your focus on it!

Take Control Steer Back To Center

Leave those not so good thoughts. Leave the less than productive thinking and complaining behind. Set your mind to focus only on what you do want. If your mind wanders off bring it back to what you want.

When you drive in a straight lane you are not going completely straight. You make micro adjustments to stay in the center of the lane all the time. You are constantly adjusting and steering your car towards the center of the lane or within the lines.

Consider the center the positive place you want to be. Whenever you notice yourself off center, thinking negatively, thinking about what you don’t want, thinking about lack, whining, complaining or blaming steer your mind back to the positive thoughts.

Do this and you will develop the habit of catching yourself and returning to the I Can Do place in your mind. Soon enough this process will become automated and you will naturally think more positive more of the time. This process is so cool! You’ll love it!

Remember, thinking and speaking are the same thing. Keep your words to yourself and to others positive and your life will truly change!” Rex Sikes

May you make it a marvelous day!

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You Screwed Up! How To Get Over It!

your best teacher your last mistake

“You screwed up! Big or small? It doesn’t matter. We all make mistakes. The big question is what to do when you do make a mistake? How do you keep going?

Okay, this won’t be the first time you heard this. You are human. Humans make mistakes. That is what we do. That is how we learn. From our earliest moment we are screwing up and it is informing us and teaching us.

BUT since we went to school we hate messing up. We hated those red marks on our tests. We were told everything we did wrong. SO we developed an aversion to it. We developed a fear for making mistakes.

We responded out of sorts. We don’t like it. We are afraid of it and feel bad when we screw up.

Stop Focusing On Mistakes

If we focus on what we don’t want we get more of what we don’t want. If we spend time worrying about making mistakes it is more likely we will make them.

If we think ‘don’t screw up’ it is not any different than telling a child ‘don’t spill your mill’. You know what happens when we do that.

Focus On What You Do Well

You have to live fearlessly and expect the best. You need to plan for success and not let mistakes bother you so much. You are so much more than your occasional screw up.

You do more things right than you do wrong. Celebrate that! Embrace this! Accept it! You do plenty of things well and quite well.

How We Learn

As a child you learned to roll over, sit up, crawl and eventually walk by making more movements than were necessary. These movements were way off base. They weren’t at all close to what you need to balance or move forward easily.

When you learned to feed yourself you repeatedly missed your mouth with the spoon getting food all over the place and yourself. You made movements way off base.

You never thought to call them mistakes. They were! They were necessary for you to eventually hone your skills and get the food in your mouth. They were necessary for balance, movement, navigation.

These are called Unwanted Parasitic Movements. Name sounds horrible but you needed to learn how to stop doing them in order to get the spoon to your mouth, for you to sit up, crawl and walk.

They were absolutely required. They were larger than necessary, not even closed to the refined movements you learned to make because of them. It is like coloring outside the lines. You went outside the lines while learning to color inside the lines.

You learned to eliminate all that was unnecessary in order to refine and perform these skills. You got rid of these unwanted parasitic movements to smoothly navigate the spoon to your mouth.

It was all done through repetition. It was all learning. It was all ‘not that way but this way’ when it came to aiming your arm and hand to your mouth.

When you watch an infant sit notice how much it moves as it is learning to sit comfortably still. The infant is learning to balance from all these extraneous movements.

Good thing you couldn’t talk or think about it as you do now, you’d have quit after the first or second try, starved to death and would not be reading this blog.

Accept Mistakes As Part Of Being Human

Mistakes are part of evolving, growing, developing. If you deny making them or get caught up in thinking about them, over thinking about them or worrying about them you will only be miserable.

You will stagnate and prevent yourself from learning valuable lessons. You will make it tougher on yourself. Pat yourself on the back when you make a mistake and say to yourself, ‘You did the best you could. Better luck next time’.

Realize we all make them and they are a part of life. Embrace yourself, forgive yourself. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself for making them. It is absolutely ok.

Yes, there may be consequences and you may need to make restitution for your mistakes that should be understood. That is part of the process.

Don’t shirk your responsibility when a mistake affects others. Ask forgiveness do what you can to rectify it. Be positive and proactive. Do not let it ruin you. Make good on it and get over it.

Mistakes Make You More Attractive

People like people more who are able to forgive themselves and admit their mistakes. It actually makes them more attractive. There is the story of a popular television entertainer who was supposed to run up a flight of stairs during his TV special.

He stumbled and fell. The producers said, ‘don’t worry we can edit it out’. He said ‘leave it in’. He understood that it would make him more human and that the audience would feel for and pull for him seeing him falter but continue to go on. And he was right!

Happy people know this inside. They know that making a mistake is actually a learning experience and an opportunity. Since we all make them and it is probable we will continue to make them the best approach seems to be relaxed acceptance.

Don’t get bent out of shape. Keep moving forward. The more you can celebrate mistakes the less the sting. When you are able to embrace and accept, acknowledge, learn and move on your life takes on a much more wonderful quality.

When you give yourself permission to screw up or fail it takes the sting out of it. You will find yourself hurting less and feeling better more frequently. Attitude is important. It makes all the difference in the world. Keep on making mistakes and keep on learning and growing!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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How To Stop Being An Ass And Keep An Open Mind

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“Keep an open mind. You hear about this frequently. You are told to have it, or acquire it, or maintain it. Some people even think they possess one. Do they? Do you? How can you tell when you are open to new ideas or when you shut down?

Do you jump or rush to conclusions? Do you believe there is a right answer to the problem? Do you believe there is only one correct solution to any given situation? Are things cut and dried, black or white, right or wrong? Do you grab onto the first thing that you hear about, or that enters your mind, and establish it as a fact?

Symptoms Of A Closed Mind

When you have a closed mind it is easy to pass judgement. You tend to lock onto things and argue your points or refuse to let go and see that other possibilities exist. Everyone else is wrong! You know it and you can tell. There ought to be  a law for goodness sakes!

My definition is simply: Contempt for a new idea prior to examination is a sign of a closed mind.

Many people dismiss out of hand an idea without exploring the merits of the idea simply because it does not fit their existing gestalt or mindset. To quickly refuse to even examine another point of view is a sign that the door to the mind is definitely shut.

What To Do About It

Explore! I always say exploration is the doorway to adventure. Be willing to journey elsewhere in your mind to discover what is possible. You can do this without even leaving where you are at. Simply decide to explore an idea or a  concept, and research it. Read about it, examine it while keeping as open minded as possible.

When the tendency to shut down arises, you stop it. When you begin to think this is BS stop it! Hold it in check. Determine to see it all the way through prior to labeling it as bunk. It requires discipline, especially if you are quick to make judgements, but hang in there.

Sometime you habitually shut down so fast it is instantaneous. When you become aware that you are being closed minded and that you have already shut the door, open it back up. It may be difficult but do it anyway. The more you open it back up the better you get.

Awareness is the goal. You want to be able to recognize when you shut down, or are about to shut down so you can do something about it. Be grateful when you become aware that you are closed minded because that is when you can begin to change it.

Ask questions. Become curious

Examine your own judgements and try to determine from where they arise. Do you base your opinions on something you saw or heard, are these from your past? Did you learn them from someone? Who else specifically that you know thinks or believes as you do? Who is it that believes these particular idea to be true?

Ask Yourself Directed Questions™

Direct your mind to positive things you can think about. Wonder in your mind how it might be better. Look for how you might enjoy the different possibilities. Ask questions that lead you into the behaviors you want to acquire or do more reliably.

How delighted will I be to discover I am able to entertain new ideas, that I otherwise might have resisted? In how many different ways am I easily and naturally able to stay open and enjoy new ideas? How soon can will I begin to enjoy the benefits of keeping an open mind and entertaining new view points? How much fun can I have in exploring new ideas and topics?

Challenge Your Own Thoughts

You can boot strap it and challenge your own thoughts. You can ask questions such as Who specifically says this is true? What makes it true? How is that possible? How might it be otherwise?

Who holds other contrary views? What realistic reasons may they have for holding their point of view? What might I be missing? Do I know everything about everything? Who died and left me god?

In other words, be willing to look for and find other authorities who may have very valid reasons for holding these new ideas. By the way, the ideas may be ancient they may only be new to you. OR they may be brand new ideas. Challenge your own infallibility. This is important.

None Of Us Enjoy Being Wrong

We seek to be consistent in our beliefs. We do not like it when ideology conflicts. So we dismiss it before given it the time it is due. You need to ask yourself whether you view point is accurate 100% of the time.

You can ask, ‘Always? In every single circumstance? Is it true for everyone, everywhere in the world through all time?’ OR ‘Never? Has there never been a single example of it being otherwise? Nobody in the entire world for all time never ever felt differently?’

You might ask, What causes you to think this way? What examples, evidence or experiences  do you have for maintaining this point of view? Are their reasons from your past why it is important for you to maintain this position?

What would happen, or be the worst that would happen if you didn’t think this? What would happen if you held the other person’s point of view? How would you, or the world change if you didn’t believe this? Is it possible there are other points of view?

Apply The 100% Test

If something isn’t true 100% of the time why limit yourself? If you don’t have a monopoly on the truth why act as if you do? Let some of these things go. Learn something new. If you aren’t god why act like it? Broaden your horizons. Educate yourself in new ways of thinking and being. Examine things from different perspectives or points of view.

If it isn’t true for all time and all people in all places there are things to learn. Learn about different cultures and practices in different places and times. Expose yourself to new thought and new ways to think and be. Reflect on how it is possible for people to believe and think different things.

Listen

Listen to listen. Listen to undertand. Listen to Learn. Listen without speaking or challenging or arguing. Listen for no reason at all except to better understand and appreciate the speaker and her point of view. Too many of us are only waiting our turn while listening. We are waiting to speak and make our points rather than to reflect on and understand his points.

Ask questions to understand not to counter argue. Ask for clarification. State back in their words what you understand the person to have said and listen to the other person clarify it for you. Determine if you understood what they meant.

Hear it. Pay attention. Seek understanding. This means you are active in the process. You are accepting and open and available and interested in their point of view.

Sometimes when listening this way and they are finished do nothing but accept it. Don’t provide your views. Sit with it. Let them be heard. Appreciate the other person and their point of view without making your points. Silence at times is golden. At other times share and contribute.

Meditation

Mediation is great for helping to keep an open mind. Especially beneficial are those forms of mediation where you watch thoughts come and go without attaching to any of them. When you are able to be quiet and simply witness thoughts arising you can become free of them. You can become open to many new awarenesses.

The Benefits Of An Open Mind

When you are able to view many options simultaneously without closing down an entire new world of possibilities opens up to you. The world becomes more alive and so do you. Everything is more colorful and flavorful.

You have more choices. There are more options. You discover there is more to enjoy than you previously allowed.

You can begin to think outside the box. You become free. You are freed of the weight of thinking you know all the answers. Nothing keeps people back as much as not considering alternatives. When the mind snaps shut you close off to opportunities and advantages that may be beneficial to you.  Literally, you are not able to see them.

You explore new territory and venture further than you could before. You not only think outside the box but you can move beyond old boundaries. Instead of stopping yourself where you used to you now give yourself permission to go further. The further you go the more you are able to see.

You open up to more fun because you are willing to entertain new ideas and try new things. You can play more, experiment and enjoy discovering. Life does become an adventure when you are willing to explore. You may even try new foods, clothes and places to go. Who knows?

When your mind is flexible you are better equipped to examine options and find solutions to problems. After all, there are many ways to bake a cake, cook an egg, make a bed. There are many roads to Rome. Lot’s of ways to dive into a pool…

You don’t get stuck trying the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. Your thinking expands and your world expands. More flexibility means more options. More options means more solutions. More solutions means greater possibilities!

Change happens. You change! When you are open, exploring and having fun you can change your thoughts to serve you better. Your thoughts and beliefs must change first if you want to change your behaviors and keep the changes. You can think better, feel better and learn to develop positive new habits.

As you change you become filled with more positive energy. You become more alive. More affirming. You become more tolerant and accepting. You include more into your world. We become freer and lighter and have more physical energy when we are not resisting and trying to maintain everything. Your thoughts are positive so is your energy.

You are less negative, more tolerant, having more fun and more fun loving. You can enjoy better health, better relationships with family and friends and associates. You can devote more time to that which is truly important. There is far less to argue about and divide you from others. You may become more loving and have a greater ability to be loved because you let go and accept others for who they are.

When we let go of how others and the world is wrong; when we drop intolerance for positions other than are own; when we are able to embrace new ideas and people and include more in are life incredible things happen. We find more friends and fellowship.

When we get entrenched and spend out energy defending our positions we are wasting energy. It isn’t worth it. Instead, we conserve and direct our energy, we focus it in beneficial ways.

We can all point to someone we think is closed minded. Don’t be just like that person! Be open. Accept and embrace that person and allow that person to be who s/he is.

If that person never comes around to your way of thinking so what? What is the worst that can happen? Can you love and accept that person anyways? Go on give it a try! And while you are at it love, accept and embrace yourself!” Rex Sikes

Imagine how wonderful today can be!

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Dream Big: Don’t Let The Details Stop You!

famous_walt_disney_quotes_keep_moving_forward

“What do successful people have in common? What is their mind set and behaviors? Why do they succeed while others don’t? Is there a difference between them and the other people?

Can you do what they do to get the results they have? Yes absolutely!

It is important to know what you want and to dream big.

Know your definite chief purpose and develop a burning desire or passion for it’s fulfillment.

Dream big and keep the dream before you in your minds’s eye. Think about it day and night. What consumes you controls you.

Don’t fret about the details.

Do not get caught up in the how. Do not let not knowing how you might accomplish it stop you from going after it. Go after it.

Go as far as you can go and when you get there you will see farther. Enjoy your dream. Make it fun and delightful to make it happen.

What you think about you  become.

What you focus on you get. What you think about you bring about. So imagine your big dream as already completed.

Imagine what it is like to be there already. How does it feel to have made it happen? Enjoy these feelings! Let these feelings move you forward.

If life were perfect how would it feel?

How would it feel to be, do and have everything you want? Don’t just answer, ‘it’d feel great!’ FEEL IT!

Accentuate and savor the feelings. Live these feelings again and again each day. Let them drive you. This is what you want after all. You want to feel more of this. THIS, these feeling is what it is about.

Never get hung up in the details when you can feel this way.

The details will resolve themselves and you will find a way. You will develop a plan for making your dream come true.

The the more you keep it alive in your mind the more it will become clear to you. Follow your plan as it unfolds. You don’t need plans to be perfect or in their entirety the entire plan prior to beginning because plans change.

All people who succeed big pursue their dreams

People who succeed pursue their dreams and work their plans. The are dedicated and on target but flexible to change their plans along the way. The persist and adapt.

They never give up they just adjust as needed. They never let a detail stop them from getting what they want. It never occurs to them that they won’t succeed.

Read biographies of top achievers

Read the biographies of those who succeed and you will begin to see the elements they share in common. I share these here in these blog pages for you to read and re-read.

Successful people keep the big picture in mind and never let the specifics deter them. The goal is getting to the destination not how they are going to get there. Keep this in mind!

As for the journey delight in it.

Keep this in mind too! Delight in not knowing. It gives you opportunity to trust yourself and know that you are moving forward anyway.

Celebrate that good things are coming and happening to you even if you don’t know when or how. Have fun on the journey and delight in all things. When you get there you will see farther.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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How To Become A Real Winner

invest in yourself

“What do you think and believe before going into your day? When you get up in the morning do you expect it to be a good or not so good day? Do expect to find smiles mostly or frowns?

Do you plan to be delighted or disappointed? When you play a game do you expect to win or to lose? What do you anticipate? What do you think and believe before going into it?

Do you expect traffic to be a bear or do you expect to enjoy the drive regardless? Do you expect to encounter friendly people and co-workers or ones who aggravate? Do you think of the world as a friendly wonderful place or a hard, cold, cruel one?

Will you profit during a bad economy or lose money? Are you going to book the role in that play or movie or will someone else? Are you going to do your best or not?

Your Expectations Set The Frame

According to researchers much of what happens is due to what we expect to happen. What we believe, think or expect shapes how we react or respond to that ‘reality’ out there. They also suggest that much of that outer reality is actually a reflection of what we do inside our minds. Our perceptions create our reality.

In other words, what we expect to find we may find. What we don’t expect to find we most likely won’t encounter. Yes, there may always be some surprises.

When you feel positive and expect that you are going to win you are much more likely to. When you feel positive and expect to have a great day it makes all the difference in how you experience the day.

When you are positive that you will accomplish your goal; you know in your heart and mind it is possible to do so and you anticipate making it happen, you are much more likely to.

Expect To Win

Our mindset is comprised of our beliefs of what we think is possible or not. It is made up of our attitude whether positive or negative. It is determined by our thoughts whether we think something will be easy or hard.

Positive thinking IS about finding a mindset that serves you well and helps you to feel better. The higher quality your thoughts the better you feel. The better you feel the more you can accomplish.

When you expect or anticipate the outcome you are seeing it in your mind happening as you want it to happen. You imagine it as already already done. You have it ! You see yourself winning. You see yourself as having won.

Your brain knows the outcome you desire and what to do about it when you repeatedly give it the same strong message and images over and over. That is why positively charged emotional repetition is important. Your brain accepts your feelings and images as real.

It knows how to align your inner resources for you to do your best. Your thoughts, feelings and behaviors all work together for that outcome. You are congruent. There is no worry, no doubt or fear, no split in your attention. You are of one mind – the winning mind.

It is easier to win if you expect to win. WHEN you EXPECT to win you already KNOW you are going to win. Your focus is not on winning, because that is a ‘given’, but on doing what is necessary to insure the win.

Your expectations set the frame for you to behave appropriately, to carry out the activities, in alignment with what you expect.

You can expect to win and still lose but at least you will have tried your best. Focusing on ‘I am going to lose, we are going to lose’ insures the inevitable. Focusing on what you need to do to win, knowing you are able to, makes it much more likely that you will.

If you know you can win; if you never quit but  keep on going you will.

How You Begin Winning

Use Directed Questions™ to fill your mind with positive power and energy. Direct your mind repeatedly to what it is you want. Fill your mind with questions that lead you to where you want to go. Questions are powerful because your mind continues to work on them after you ask them and it IS the natural way our minds work.

Use affirmations Affirm it to yourself. Repeat over and over that you are a winner (or whatever it is you want). Develop 5 or 10 that you repeatedly chant while feeling the best you can. Say them out load enthusiastically and powerfully. Feel wonderful while you do. Think about them when you can’t say them out loud.

Make Positive Mental Movies Make positive movies and pictures in your head and review these again. See yourself  looking, feeling and doing what  you want to be doing. Imagine the outcome you want as though you already have it. See, hear, feel everything you doing and how are you feeling when you ‘got it’. See, it, feel it, hear it.

Read and Listen to  inspirational and motivational material each day. Read whatever you are able to read. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. It is better to read less material more frequently than too much too little of the time. Read at least a page a day.

Practice Gratitude! Be grateful for where you are at. Be grateful for the progress you make. Be grateful for the challenges (muscles grow because of opposition, use the challenges as learning experiences). Celebrate and be grateful for everything. It improves your attitude and opens you up to more opportunity.

Isn’t It Difficult

Won’t it be hard? Well, if you don’t golf and you give it a try it will seem unfamiliar, difficult and you may not be very good at first. BUT if you desire to get good at golf you will do whatever it takes and you won’t stop doing those things that make you better. You will practice and play as much as you can. You will read about it watch it, get a coach and you will get better and better in time.

This is true about anything we want to do; sing, play piano, knit, ride a bike, drive, swim, play tennis, type, do mathematics, act, edit, write. It is the same process when we take control of our mind to develop a winning mindset!

Two Great Quotes

When you expect things to happen – strangely enough – they do happen. J.P. Morgan

Go as far as you can see; when you get there, you’ll be able to see farther. J.P. Morgan

You will make your dreams and your goals come about much more swiftly when all of you co-operates to bring them about. When you are congruent in your quest and all your thoughts, feelings, talents, and abilities, your resources, are aligned.

When you are of one powerful mindset, one determined attitude, you are unstoppable. You will keep going until you have what you want. The more you do, the further you go, the more you are able to do and the more you can keep on going,

Do whatever you can, even a little bit each day, to develop your attitude and turn yourself into a Can Do person and you will be surprised at how quickly it all takes hold.

Consistent, positive, correct repetition will develop the skills and habits you need to become a full time winner. Begin today and get a jump on making your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic day!

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