“… I discovered that the wonderful things don’t come from having more things. It comes from being more wonderful. It comes from having less stress, depression, anxiety, anger, frustration. It comes from taking the bull by the horns and deciding to do something for myself and to keep on doing it no matter what. I decided I would never ever quit or give up. If I had to boot strap it I would, if the going got tough if I had to be tough I would get going. I decided that the end result was worth the price, whatever that price was I had to pay. AND it is! I am getting so much more back than I pay for it is incredible!
I have used the analogy of a buffet. You put on your plate what you like and enjoy, that which brings you pleasure and whatever you don’t want or don’t like you leave it on the buffet table. You delight in what is on your plate. You don’t sit there thinking about the food you do not care for. You do not lament that you don’t like brussel sprouts, or broccoli or whatever. I mean, this should make sense to most people I would think. At the buffet you focus on enjoying what you like. You go to get the foods you like not to worry about what you don’t want. You never even give it a second thought.
I have learned to treat myself as if a baby or at best a toddler. I have a pet phrase I have used for decades when conducting seminars and workshops and that is, ‘You don’t punt the baby’. When you have a child learning motor skills, whether learning to walk or feed itself, you nurture and encourage the child, you get all excited and act weird. If the child falls or misses its mouth with a spoon you don’t punt it out of the room and scream at it and shame it, you don’t if you love it. No, you encourage it to continue in the behavior you want the child to learn. When the child does anything close to what you want it to learn you get wildly enthusiastic, goofy even so that the child feels wonderful.
So when I screw up I think of myself as a baby learning anything new and encourage myself instead of criticizing myself. Instead of thinking of myself as stupid or useless and never able to learn, I celebrate the awareness I have that I recognized I was off base, and give myself a pat on the back. Then gently, positively I steer myself back on track. It is much nicer being gentle, loving and kind to me. Hey, I was an expert in self criticism I just decided to stop that and do something better for myself.
See, I am just making my way through this world like anyone else. I decided though at one point that I was going to act as if I were totally in charge of everything that happens to me, whether that is actually the case or not. Did you read that and get it. I decided to act as if I were totally in charge of everything. In control, me and no one else. That means I alone am accountable and responsible for everything good and bad. It means I am the creator, everything I have or don’t have is because of me. (Whether this is actually true or not, I decided I was going to adopt this frame of mind and live as IF IT IS the case).
What happened when I began to live this way is everything changed. It is as if I am actually in charge. I create everything. Good, bad I create it.
Whether this is true or not doesn’t matter to me. Let’s say I am pretending to be in charge. By pretending to be in charge I am making positive choices for myself every moment I can.
Because I am the person in charge. I am the creator so I need to decide what I want. I need to decided how I want to think and feel. I decided what I want to be, who I am and what I do and have. It is all up to me. Since I AM IN CHARGE I chose the very best.
When things happen I chose how to respond. I determine what I will pay attention to and focus on and feel.
Do you know what? I am a work in process. Sometimes I do better than at other times but, as I have stated, I adjust for it and gently steer back. Yes, I repeated myself because I am attempting to point out, as all my friends and family know, I am not perfect. I am not perfect by any means but now I have choice.
It is absolutely freeing.
Instead of blaming others, I look at what I can adjust about myself to think or feel better about it. I put a guardian at the gate, and make it a point to only think and speak about things that bless, heal and help prosper. I am protective of my thoughts and feelings. I like the positive attitude and the feelings that come from it so I want to preserve these and encourage these. I want more of it.
It wasn’t easy to begin thinking and doing these things but it is easier now. I have trained my mind to find the good in every situation. I have trained my mind to be my own best friend and to act in my own best interests instead of running wild or acting randomly. I have trained my mind.
I like it when I write that or say ‘I have trained my mind’, because at one time I was a victim of my own thoughts and feelings. NOW I have choices. Actually, I may have always had the same choices and others available, but I was unaware of them so I never chose them. Previously, I did not know to exercise my choices. Now I do and now I choose.
I said before that when things go awry and crap happens I don’t have to choose to be unhappy. I can choose to be happy regardless of what is going on. If all of everything around me is crumbling it DOES NOT MEAN that I have to be unhappy about it. It doesn’t mean that at all because I have learned that my real happiness is not related to what happens but rather to who I am. It is who I am not what goes on where my happiness is.
I stay focused on creating what I want, attracting it and manifesting it. Call it what you want, I stay focused on what I want to be and have instead of noticing what isn’t there yet. I learned that if I worry I attract and/or create more worry. Unhappiness attracts more unhappiness. Worrying about not having enough money doesn’t help me have or create more money it only keeps me in a state of poverty. Being dissatisfied only creates less satisfaction.
Instead I focus on what I want. I focus on being happy because happiness creates more happiness. Love attracts more love, gratitude attracts more gratitude, kindness attracts more kindness. I want to fill my life with what I want, I want to become these, feel these and have theses. Success attracts more success, money attracts more money, peace attracts more peace. So I focus on these, am grateful for these and think on these things. We become what we think about.
So even when things are not presently going my way, my training is to stay focuses on what I want to create instead of what I don’t want. I stay focused on what I want to become and do and have instead of what I don’t have. This keeps me in an action phase and provides me with the opportunity to continue to move forward instead of wallowing in being stuck and forlorn.
Maybe, all I am thinking and doing is a fantasy, a lie, a delusion. So what?
If everything I am thinking is a lie, I prefer it this way.
Some people talk about the law of attraction, they say ‘be positive, think what you want and you will attract it, the universe will provide’. That scared me because I used to think ‘well what if I think it and it doesn’t happen then I will only be more disappointed.’ I did, I acutally used to think that.
I used to think, ‘ok I will think be positive, but I don’t want any religious infinite intelligence talk, or god is good talk, I don’t want to go there , I just want to make good things happen for me’. So don’t get metaphysical or magical with me, I don’t want to be surrounded by purple protective bubbles and amulets. I want practical, down to earth, scientific, everyday reality sort of thinking that if I engage in it is sure to happen so I won’t be disappointed.
You know what I found? Magic but not the new agey wacky flavor of the moment magic but real true transformative magic. I found that if I want it to be it is actually up to me. It is up to how I think and how I feel and what I do. It is up to me to create a plan, utilize my resources, partner with others and wish all good things because when I do I create for myself a better way to move through the world.
When I am feeling positive and wishing others well I am attracting positive feeling people who also wish others well. I am resonating with other like minded people who are seeking positive opportunities to create wonderful things in their own lives and the lives of others.
The magic isn’t outer magic it is inner magic. Inner magic relies on oneself to make adjustments in positive ways instead of expecting the world to conform to your wishes. Inner magic is about having control over yourself so that you think and act more clearly and are thus better able to recognize opportunities as they occur. Inner magic is being true to oneself and living positively no matter what occurs around oneself. There is real magic but it isn’t the kind of fairy tale magic we grew up hoping for.
I am no expert. I live my life day to day.
I have more choices available to me now than ever before. Sometimes, I chose wisely and other times I don’t. Whenever, I find myself off track I steer back on and appreciate that I discovered I was off track. IN itself, this is a powerful way for me to live. I am now able to positively self correct instead of negatively beating myself up when off course.
When I am not busy self correcting on the course I am busy enjoying the journey. I am busy appreciating myself and the people around me. I find small and large things to be thankful for throughout the day and that contributes to my overall well being. The journey is no longer a burden but a pleasure. Instead of looking for mistakes, things that are wrong or unjust I look for miracles each day, large or small, to celebrate. Why? Because we get what we focus on. We attract or we create what we think about. Do you get it? If not, some day you will.
We become whatever we think about. What we can conceive and believe we can achieve. Whatever feelings I am feeling today inside of me I am attracting tomorrow. So I fill my mind with what I want for myself and that includes for others. I fill my mind and my being with more happiness, love, peace, acceptance, joy, confidence, competence, talents and abilities, health, wealth, positive power and achievement.
I concentrate on these things. I daydream about them. I make it a point to see them, entertain them in my mind. I talk about them to myself, and I fill my moments with as much that is good and feels good and benefits myself and everyone as I am able. I know more will come tomorrow because of what I am doing today.
I have trained my mind.
No, I am not perfect, nope not at all. Don’t have to be. I am happier, healthier, wealthier all around better off because I feel more joy, acceptance, love, enjoyment and all sorts of marvelous things. Life is grand. I am so happy I decided to train my mind. It is more than worth it, it is ever so valuable. It is absolutely priceless because no matter what effort it takes to train it, you get back so much more, infinitely more!
What I discovered when I decided to train my mind is that it works! It really, truly, actually works.” Rex Sikes
More to come, enjoy the day. Discover what you might do today to begin to find more incredible ways to appreciate each moment. Delight and celebrate.
By the way – as you read these blogs, if they speak to your heart, I hope you will implement what I have been sharing. It is life transformative. Go back and read these blogs again and again.
Fill your mind with positive messages and become inspired. Inspire others too! Share and help others feel better not just because you get back what you put out there but just because… celebrate and enjoy!
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