Accidents Happen And Boy When They Do

19774-it-is-only-in-this-present-moment-that-you-hold-100-of-the_380x280_width

“It turns out the universe wants me to slow down. This morning, I was exiting the house, keys in hand on my way to a meeting, focused on hitting the button on the keys to open the car when I hit an uneven spot in the walkway and was pitched headfirst into my car.

I slammed into the car, my left knee hitting the pavement, my right foot twisting and turning under me as I fell on it. I got up slowly, it was difficult, my knee scraped and bleeding, my right foot sore. My wrists and forehead worse for wear but ok. I laughed, ‘what was that?’

I hobbled around looking for my keys. Took about 10 minutes when I noticed them about 20 feet away in the driveway in front of the car. Onto my meeting I went, sore but okay. I laughed it off at the meeting and had a most wonderful, marvelous meeting of new beginnings in many ways. Many new doors opened right then.

In olden by gone days I would have sworn, complained, wondered what I had done to cause this, or wondered why I had crappy luck. I would have been miserable. I would have poisoned the pot with negative self-talk, criticisms and negative questions.

Today, I could only think, ‘This is a blessing!  Wow, something good is going to come of this. I wonder what it might be. I have no clue. Surprise me.’ It was automatic.

As we were leaving the meeting I took my foot our of my shoe to see if it had swollen and stepped down onto the pavement and that was it. WOW! The pain was unbelievable. Up until then everything was fine, pretty much. I still had errands to run but now I was seriously hobbled and in a lot of pain.

I did them. I limped around doing errands the pain increasing all the while! I drove home. I barely made it into the house and into a recliner. Eventually, I called my daughter and asked if she could take me to urgent care. She came by and she did. What an angel. We got to urgent care about 4 hours after the injury.

At Urgent Care I passed out twice. I don’t recall it but so I am told. I nearly puked. I was hot and sweating. Apparently, I had spent too much time on the injury.

They x-rayed my foot eventually and gave me a diagnosis. The pain grew and grew. They wheeled me from room to room. They were very caring. Finally, they left my daughter and I alone in a room together.

I looked at my daughter and realized I was exhibiting pain in front of her all the while. She was watching Dad suffer. This isn’t a bad thing we all can hurt. Pain is a natural response.

However, recently I have been trying to tell her you can handle tough times, you can get through the pain, it too will pass and here I am passing out from it. I was not the example I hoped I would be. She, of course, already does know everything I am trying to ‘teach’ her. That’s the kind of person she is! Amazing.

I looked at her and focused on her. Inside I thought, ‘it is only pain’. I focused on my daughter, I kept that thought in mind and looked at her and my heart filled with love. Within minutes I knew I could handle the pain. We were smiling. It was wonderful.

During all of this time, from the accident onward, I kept thinking inside, ‘Wow, something good is coming my way, I have no idea what but something incredible is coming’.

I believe it too. I know it is. I began to say it out loud so she would know what I was thinking. ‘There is a blessing in all of this!, Something good will come of this.’ ‘I don’t know what yet, but it is a blessing.’

Speaking it out loud has its own power. It makes it more real too. AND I wasn’t lecturing I was just Dad talking to himself. I was affirming what I knew to be true and she was hearing me and seeing me. Even in crisis any of us can be resourceful. Everything can be a blessing if we only choose to see it that way!

If ever there is a strong, incredibly resilient person it is my daughter. She truly is my teacher as is my son. From the moment they were each born I committed to being the best guide I could be on our journey together.

I promised to love them no matter what. I also knew deep in my soul they would teach me more about parenting than I could ever teach them about growing up. I am the luckiest guy on earth with such incredible children.

Okay, so I know something about pain management and have practiced it for decades. I have taught pain control in workshops and seminars in various locations around the world. People have flow thousands of miles to spend days, weeks and months with me in seminars and live training.

Yet, in the heat of the moment I was caught up in the hurt.

I closed my eyes put my head back and began to think and ask myself, ‘what part of my body feels the very best?’ ‘In how many different ways can I discover myself feeling wonderful?’ ‘What is the best feeling I can find right now?’

‘Where does it feel wonderful? In how many different ways can I discover all the places in my body that feel good?’ I sent my brain on a search by asking questions and it delivered.

I used Directed Questions™ to direct my mind to what were the best feelings I could find. I found them and began feeling those! I began to experience relief. I was beginning to pay attention to what felt good instead of what felt bad. I was looking for what was right instead of what was wrong. I was finding it too.

My mind was attending to what felt the best. It was searching for the ways in which this incident was a blessing right now, in this moment, AND in the future with many good things coming my way. My daughter was here, we were together, she was helping me. This moment IS a perfect moment.

We were blessed in this way right in this moment! The moment was unfolding. It wasn’t just a blessing and an opportunity for the future it was a blessing right now. How lucky we were to be sharing this moment! An accident brought us this realization. How marvelous is that?

I had steered away from the pain back into the positive. You have read this or heard this from me before if you follow my blog or the materials I have shared for decades. I navigated to the more productive. I didn’t resist the pain or try to stop it. I looked for what was better. I dropped the pain and enjoyed feeling wonderful.

Yes, it really hurt but it began to subside. It became manageable. Yes, it was very painful when they manipulated my foot on the x-ray bed, or tried on various braces but as long as I realized ‘it’s only pain’ and allowed myself to be filled with wonder and enjoyed my awesome daughter I could handle it. Hours went by.

I told my daughter that looking at her helped me. I enjoyed and loved her and was feeling relief. Eventually, they found a brace that fit, gave me prescription for an MRI. Surgery may be required. Okay, so now some focus on healing swiftly may be the order of the coming days.

Right now, she is out running errands for us. Picking up food, etc. I am at home with my leg elevated and ice on it. I am fine. Does it hurt, sure but I am at ease with it. I have let go of the hurting and am focused on the miracles in life.

Everything is grand. I decided to share my thoughts while I had time during the day rather than my early morning writing schedule.

Another lesson I learned is: I should pay attention when I walk. Not be caught up in things. I used to practice ‘Zen Walking’, when walking just walk, the basis of Zen – be the activity and nothing more.

If you are going to wash the dish, wash the dish. If you are going to eat, just eat. No distractions, no TV, no phone or reading, just eat. Be one with the moment!

I had much on my mind. Slow down. One thing at a time. It may not need to be a rule but it can certainly be a lesson. I was inattentive walking to the car. Perhaps, I can use this lesson to remember to be more aware and alert when doing any number of things. A reminder to be aware! How marvelous is that?

I certainly remembered I didn’t have to be a victim to the pain. My first thoughts of pain added to what I was feeling. It made it worse. Once, I changed my thinking the pain lessened. I mean it really lessened!

I am not surprised because I teach this stuff. I know it works. I emphasize this because I was caught up in the hurting at first. Once I realized that, during everything that was going, and I utilized what I know works. It did. It worked! It worked quickly and powerfully. I could share other examples from my past but I won’t at this time.

On top of it my daughter is a marvelous nurse. She picked up delicious ‘OH SO GOOD’ authentic East Indian food from a friend who makes great dishes from her native land. We are having a feast. I am sampling while typing. Yes, very marvelous indeed!

I would never have received this delicious Indian dinner today. PLUS, as a result, I learned about a fantastic Indian Restaurant in my neighbor I didn’t know existed!!! Blessings come in all shapes and sizes.

I feel loved, cared for and grateful to have had this experience and to have such an incredible daughter. Thanks my darling! I’m a lucky Daddy!

I will have to slow down and take it easy for awhile. I have crutches and a brace and have been told to see the follow up doctors as soon as possible. Okay, I can do that. Tonight, I will relax, read some inspiring material and chill out feeling grateful.

All in all the events of the day, while not something I would have picked for myself, have been amazing. I have learned much and feel so loved and grateful. Something incredible has already come my way and I know more is on the horizon. Lucky Me!” Rex Sikes

How many blessings will you discover today? I wonder?!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Who Is Your Boss? Who Runs The Show?

what you allow is what will continue

“Who is your Boss? The Boss runs the show. Are you the Boss of your own life? Many of us like to think we are? But are we? Who is running the show in your life? If you aren’t the Boss you can bet someone or something else is. They could care less about you!

Be The Boss Of Your Own Life

Whatever distracts you from creating your life as you want it; whatever distracts you from maintaining your positive attitude; whatever distracts you from moving towards accomplishing your goals each day IS your Boss.

Whatever the limitation that prevents you from pursuing your dreams and making them happens is the Boss. This Boss controls your time, your output, your results, and your rewards. This Boss controls you.

If your watching TV, going out for cocktails, hanging with the boys or the girls or gaming instead of working towards what you want you then these distractions are your Boss. These distractions are preventing you from the success and happiness you want and deserve.

Your Habits Determine Who The Boss Is

Instead of doing what you can be doing to have a better life you let whims dictate how your life will be. If you aren’t in charge of yourself then your poor habits will be in charge of you. Others run the show. You won’t benefit by their control. You will lose out.

In order to win you have to run the race. You can’t quit or get distracted by something on the sidelines. You must focus on the prize, pace yourself and do your very best. Less than that means it is likely you won’t finish first.

Don’t let comparisons stop you either. Don’t let imitation thinking prevent you from giving it your all. There are always stronger, faster, richer, smarter, better looking competitors who seem to have every advantage but you can’t let that dissuade you. They can lose too.

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

Remember, the fable of the tortoise and the hare. The hare had speed and was confident he would take the prize. So over confident, in fact, he took a nap near the finish line. Hubris did the rabbit in.

The tortoise kept a diligent steady pace, did not stop but kept on going. Slow and steady he won the race. The rabbit awoke to watch the hare cross the finish line. The tortoise was in control.

Be the Boss of your thought and of your own habits. Control your time, energy, and attention. Commit to  winning the prize and to nothing else. If you go about it sloppily and half-assed you aren’t going to get there anytime soon.

Do not give away your power to others, to activities, to things or to places that do not benefit you in the long term. Stop wasting time with and limitations distractions. Decide how to best spend your time to live the life you want.

Limit Distractions And Unproductive Behaviors

Avoid negative media messages that bring your down. Avoid people who just aren’t productive for you to be around. Learn to say NO to those elements which don’t lift you up or move you forward. Value yourself, your time and your dreams.

Whining, complaining, making excuses, rationalizing, are all distractions. These do not get you any closer to making your dreams come true. Only think and speak that which blesses, heals and prospers you and others.

Stop! Don’t let your negative thoughts be your Boss. Don’t let limited, ‘I Can’t Do It’ thinking prevent you from trying and making it. BE the Boss of your thoughts and behaviors. BE an ‘I Can Do It’ person.

Keep Your Power Use Your Powers

Set your mindset and attitude to positive. When your thoughts and desires are aligned, and you congruently feel good and optimistic about getting your goals, things go easier.

You work smarter, not necessarily harder. You are more resourceful. Your time is spent on productive activity. You feel wonderful and you see opportunity more readily.

You handle challenges more easily. Everything is better when you are in charge positively! Be your own Boss and make your dreams come true!” Rex Sikes

You have another beautiful day to make the most of!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Haven’t You Been A Loser Long Enough? Do This To Win!

start living your life fearlessly

“Are you dissatisfied with the results you have been getting? Are you unhappy with where you are at? Maybe things are mostly okay but you seem stuck? You want to advance but you aren’t moving ahead quick enough? There is something you can do.

I don’t like the term positive thinking because it has been misunderstood by too many. Some people just don’t get what it is about because there are those who have stated that it is wishful thinking, hoping, and unrealistic dreaming. I disagree. So I prefer to call it Intentional Thinking.

Intentional Thinking Means You Choose Your Thoughts

You are in charge. You are the decision maker. It is pretty easy to know whether or not you are doing it correctly. Either you are thinking what you intend to or you are not. Your thoughts are either positive and productive or negative and not. You either feel like a winner or like a loser. If you are losing you can change that.

It’s your choice. You are not your thoughts!  You think thoughts! Thoughts come from everywhere. Much of the thoughts we think and the thought paths we go down are a result of others; people in authority, peers, the media, some we generate on our own but most of our thinking we adopt or adapt from the outside.

Rather than being victim of unwanted thoughts or thought patterns I recommend you choose what you want to think. You are bigger than the thoughts in your head and the ones you speak so you should be in charge. Sadly, many people are not. They let all these other people’s thoughts dictate how their life will be.

On top of that they have routine, habitual thoughts. They spend time thinking thoughts of sadness, worry, defeat, failure, negativity, blaming, whining, excusing. Their lives reflect their mental attitude too. They lose, they worry they will lose. They try to avoid losing. They fear they don’t have enough, won’t be enough and aren’t enough.

It is simple. Your thoughts either inspire or fatigue you. They either motivate you or scare you. They are either positive or negative. They either move you closer to your goal, keep you stuck, or move you further away. Just as in football the ball is either advancing toward the goal line or it is not.

Break The Loser Mentality Cycle

You choose! That is the one power you are assured of in this life. You can choose your thoughts. While it may seem difficult due to years of habitual defeatist thinking choosing your thoughts IS the one power you definitely have. Either you choose your thoughts or they are choosing you. So what is it going to be?

Are you thinking what serves you? Are you thinking thoughts that make your life better? Either you are or you aren’t? Are you thinking what you intend to think? Are you moving yourself down the field closer to your goal? If yes, fantastic! If no, then you must change something you are doing. You must change what you think and are focused on.

Thoughts flock together just like birds. One negative thought produces so many others. Our brains work by association and one idea leads to another. Soon we are swept up in a whirlwind of less than glorious thoughts that produce less than glorious feelings at the same time. We think poorly and feel poorly. Woe is me!

You have to break the cycle. One positive intentional thought you produce will lead to a flock of other positive thoughts. However, if your thinking has been routinely, habitually less than glorious, haphazard and unintentional, you have to stick with it and guide your thoughts. You have to be the chooser for awhile.

Choose: Become Aware Of Your Productive Thoughts

You have to be aware and deliberately choose the positive thoughts you want to keep and ignore or eliminate the negative ones that drag you down. You have to overcome the routine doubts, worry or fear that you have tolerated and accepted as your reality for so long.

The negative thoughts will persist for awhile. Why? Because that is what you have been habitually doing. You need to develop a new productive, positive habit. Don’t worry (worry is the old way) you will succeed as you persist. Set your course and determine to get there!

Commit to staying as positive as you can. Step by step. Even when the negative thoughts rear their ugly head you can overcome them by staying the course. Don’t be tricked or deceived! Don’t give in or give up. Remember, drop by drop the tub gets filled. Little by little you will make headway

If you fall off the horse get right back on. Focus your attention on being positive. Accept only the thoughts you INTEND! Be deliberate! Choose what you want to focus on. Bring your attention and energy only to what you want. Let go of the thoughts that don’t serve you. Give up the old unproductive ways and pursue the new.

While it seems difficult at first, the good news is, it gets easier and easier. Once you start choosing you discover the power in your choice. When you accept responsibility, 100% responsibility, for all your thoughts you step into your power. Ultimately, the new way becomes a habit and automated.

You are no longer a victim, you no longer drift haphazardly like a cork floating on the water but you move because of your own volition. You take charge of your thinking and your feeling and you claim your mind, body and life back. You determine how things will be. You exercise your power because you discover your power.

What You Get And What You Got Has Always Been Up To You

In case it hasn’t already occurred to you – you are already a powerful creator. You are 100% responsible for your life conditions as they currently are. Sure, you can blame it on others, or the economy, or god, or whatever but what has that gotten you so far. It certainly hasn’t and won’t change anything BUT YOU can!

Do you have what you want?

Is it mostly, somewhat or not even close to the life you would choose for yourself? If you don’t like your current lifeYOU CAN change it. You created this one, unintentionally perhaps, now create the one you intend to create. Create the life you want! You should be living the life you intend to live!

If you want to know how to take charge read through all these blog posts again. If you haven’t already start at the beginning. Go back and re-read as many times as you can, days and weeks apart because you will discover new things each time you revisit these materials.

Read Napoleon Hill, Wallace Wattles and others whose works, along with ancient texts, stand the proof of time. Do something in your own best interests. Be your own best friend and do that which will help you feel the way you want, be the way you want, and have what you want! Fill your mind with the positive thoughts you want!

Attitude Determines Your Altitude

If you are unhappy with the outside world. If you don’t like the results you have been getting then you must change your thinking. You can’t change the outside world until you first change your inside world. It begins with you!

Once YOU develop a powerful, positive, habitual attitude and mindset you can influence the outer world in amazing ways. You can begin to get the results you want in the world. It begins within you! You begin to create and shape and influence the world. Whatever the world gives you you make better!

This moment the decision is yours! What will you commit to? Either you remain a victim of unintended, haphazard, wishy washy or mostly negative thinking or you chose to become a power house who goes after and gets your dreams and goals.

Either You Transform Your Life Or You Don’t

You either transform your life or you don’t. No one will do it for you. The world isn’t going to change for you. Either you do it now or you wait some more. I can promise you this, you have already waited long enough. Some day just never comes.

Either you take control in this moment or you don’t. You are either positive or negative. You are in control or you are being controlled. Which will you live with? What will you do? Right now you are getting exactly what you you want or don’t want.

Your life is already a reflection of your thinking. How and what you have been thinking has brought you where you are in the world today. What you think from this day forward will determine where you are next.

You can’t escape your thoughts. You are either the captain of your ship or you are passenger being taken for a ride. Which do you want to be? Your choice. You can begin today a entirely new wonderful way to live. So won’t you? Do it now! ” Rex Sikes

Transform your day into something miraculous!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Are You Headed In The Wrong Direction? How You Can Tell!

life worth risking for a dream

“How can you tell if you are moving in the right direction? Why is being focused on what you want such an issue? How come you can’t focus on what you don’t want or nothing at all? What about luck? Isn’t it possible to make it without all this positive mind thinking stuff?

Some people think this way. They have reasons for not thinking positive. They want to do it their way. If they are getting the results they want to get and are happy with their lives more power to them. I have no argument with that.

The Issue Is What You Focus On

The problem for most of us is this. If you think, ‘I hate it here’ that thought doesn’t tell you where else would be better. It only keeps you locked into what is uncomfortable. It focuses you on what you do not like now.

It doesn’t help you to see what might be better now or in the future. It gets you no closer to your goals nor does it provide any direction for you to get them. If you are focused on what you don’t want you are not headed in the right direction.

When you catch yourself doing this, ask yourself, ‘where else would I rather be?’ Then focus on the answer you get. Discover your destination. Choose it! Then you can ask ‘why do I want to be there? ‘or ‘why do I want this?’ and that will help get you the reasons and the motivations. (more on the power of why in a future blog post).

If you ask, ‘how can I get there’ you may get the answer or you may not know it yet. That is okay. Ultimately, you will develop a plan. Knowing where you want to be and why are actually a very good start. It gives you direction and reasons for moving ahead.

Brains Target Results – Learn To Use This

Brains move in a direction. Your mind moves in a direction. It targets and goes after what you want if you train it to go after what you want. Otherwise, it will go after whatever has the highest emotional signal value. Whatever you think about most during your day.

If what you don’t want looms up in front of you and you intensely react with fear or loathing your brain will get it for you. It doesn’t know not to. It understands powerful images and feelings. It targets them and works to get more of them.

If on the other hand what you want is powerful and you feel intensely good feelings it will go after that. It doesn’t know not to because it targets based on what you hold in your mind and what you intensely feel.

The cool part is being positive and feeling positive feels better for you. SO you get what you want while enjoying the feelings. This is reason enough to think positive, don’t you think?

However, if you go back and forth you get mixed results. If you want it but doubt it your brain starts and stops. You focus on what you want and then don’t want, then want, your brain tries to give you each and you end up stuck with poor results. You have to choose!

If You Do Nothing Nothing Will Change

You can hope you get there. You can wish. You can wait for something to change. You can rely on luck to help out. You could do nothing at all and remain where you are ‘hating it’, OR you can decide what you want is to not be stuck and do whatever it takes to travel to where you want. You must decide!

You know what you didn’t want. You knew what you hated. This provided the impetus for you to change. The bad thoughts and feelings alerted you that you were in a place you did not want to be.

If you use these feelings correctly they help you to clarify what you DO want so you can move away from what you hate and begin getting what you want. It helps you moved from stuck to action.

Clarify And Visualize What You Want

Now stay focused on what it is you want. Imagine what you want clearly in your mind’s eye, in your mental movie theater. See it as if you already have what you want. Imagine how good this feels. Stay with the feelings. Emphasize them. Allow them to grow. Really feel them!

See it as vividly as you can. Imagine looking out through your own eyes and seeing this world from your point of view. You are living your dreams. You have what you want. What are you seeing? What are you hearing? What are you feeling? What are you experiencing?

How To Target And Visualize

As an example, if you imagined yourself in a new home. What does it feel like to live there? What’s it like to walk from room to room? What do you see? How are the rooms decorated and furnished? This is your home see it in detail. Inside and outside? What kind of car is in the driveway? What’s the landscaping like? Who lives there with you?

Imagine what you say to yourself when you have what you want, what do you hear? Enjoy all these incredible feelings? Perhaps, there are smells associated with this home, enjoy them. Make it as real as possible as if you can reach out and touch it.

Use Affirmations Keep It Positive

Affirm this! Keep your self-talk positive? See this in your mind again and again. What we are consumed with we create. What we think about we bring about. What we hold in our head first we can some day hold in our hand. Ask Directed Questions™.

Visualize it day and night. There are two ways to imagine it. You can see yourself over there in the house and watch yourself walk through it. You can see how you behave in your home. This is great. Let it inspire you! Also, you can imagine it from your point of view as I previously described. BOTH are fantastic and powerful.

You can keep a vision board and get pictures of your home. You can tour homes with real estate agents and take your a picture of the home you want. AND take pictures with YOU IN the type of home you want. DO whatever you can to make the images real to you.

It Is Okay If You Don’t Have  A Plan Yet

You may not yet know how you are going to make this happen and that is okay. Keep focused on what you want. Keep savoring the wonderful feelings. The more intensely you feel these as you imagine having it the more your subconscious works on it. You will develop a plan. You may want to set a realistic deadline date, or not.

In the meantime, enjoy it. Be grateful for everything. Feel passionate about the home. Know it is coming. Expect it. Think ‘I am creating this or something better!’ Allow for something even better than what you have created to be yours. Be willing to be surprised!

Be Committed And You Will Get Results

You don’t really get anywhere because YOU aren’t COMMITTED to any one direction. To get what you want you must be focused on what you want to the exclusion of all else. Keep your eye on the prize no matter what it takes or how long. Dedicate yourself!

Don’t compare, now to then. Don’t let not having it presently keep you from not having it in the future. Don’t be wishy washy, don’t go back and forth. Focus on what you want. Intend it! Create it! Make it happen! Have backbone more than wishbone. Persist in your pursuit.

Do not focus on what you don’t want. Learn the art of self control. Stay with your goal. Know what you want and imagine getting it and having it. Learn to manage your thoughts and feelings and make them work for you. Either YOU are in charge of your thoughts or your thoughts are in charge of you. Decide which it is going to be!

The key is to turn completely away from the negative and toward the positive. DO not let present circumstances dissuade you from your goal. Do not let obstacles distract you. Keep focused on creating what you want. What you think about you bring about!

You always get results! You always get results,  intended or otherwise. You want to get intended results, don’t you? Then you must know what you want. You must know where you want to go. This is the necessary first step in the journey. Then you must commit to making it happen.

If you don’t know what you want or where you want to get how do you expect to ever have it or get there? Clarify your goals and dreams today!” Rex Sikes

This is YOUR day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

Do This When Frustrated, Angry or Feeling Bad!

worry takes away today's peace

“How can you tell if you are focused on what you don’t want or what you do want? It is actually easy. Your have a signaling system that you can use. It alerts you when you are on or off track. You only need to learn how to recognize it to use it. It requires is becoming aware.

Your Feelings Are Your Signal System

If you are frustrated it is a signal you are focused on what you do not want. Negative emotion is the signal you are focused on what you don’t want. When you are feeling good and have positive emotions it is a signal you are focused on what you want.

Negative emotion only means you are thinking about what you do not want. Whatever you are thinking about mostly is what you get more of. You create the conditions of your life experience. You manifest more of the same. What you think about you become.

If you are frustrated, angry, depressed, anxious, worried, fearful, blaming and accusing, whining and complaining you are spending time and energy in a less than glorious place. The feelings that cause you to blame or complain are the signal.

If you catch yourself criticizing and speaking poorly about self, others, events and situations that is a signal. A clue you are focused in less than productive ways on what you do not want.

Once you become aware you are feeling negative, feeling frustrated, and you don’t like feeling that way you can do two things. First, you can get more frustrated, and more angry, you can get more intensely negative to the point where you think and say and commit to yourself,  ‘never again!’ You can ramp it up and get to that ‘this is the last straw’ point. From this point you can make changes you need to.

That is one way of dealing with it. It can and does occur naturally for people. They just get to the point where they know they have to change. That intense emotion is fine as long as it serves to take them to a place where they stop focusing on the negative and begin focusing on the positive.

The negative feelings are the signal you are not focusing on what you want. However, if you don’t change your focus to what you do want you won’t have the relief or get the results you hope for. You must wake up, pay attention to the signal and change what you are doing.

You must switch your attention. THAT IS WHAT your feelings have been trying to get you to do. You feelings are trying to GET YOUR ATTENTION enough for you to notice so you can SWITCH!

Remember, if you always do what you always did you always get what you always got. It is an opportunity to be productively different.

Clarify What You Do Want

Use the powerful negative feelings to figure out what it is you do want. Stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on the positive. Commit to staying focused on the positive. Whenever you feel negative there is an adjustment you should make. That IS the signal you are off course.

You have an internal guidance system. You have an internal GPS. You have a system designed to be self correcting. The unwanted thoughts and feelings inform you that you are off course. Don’t fight them, celebrate when you recognize the signal and make the necessary changes. Less than glorious means time to change!

Some people have spent so many years ignoring or fighting and pushing down and repressing their feelings they have difficulty telling when they are feeling good or  less than glorious. Still, you can learn to pay attention and benefit from this internal guidance bit by bit, Awareness is your key! It may be more subtle but you can do it.

Commit to paying attention. Do a self inventory frequently though out the day by asking ‘how am I feeling’ . Take a moment to evaluate and be honest. It is useful  to color chart your feelings using crayon or markers to indicate the changes during the day.

Notice predominant colors and notice how frequently you actually fluctuate. This is a great learning tool Give it a shot and you may surprise yourself.

You can ask someone  to assist you by pointing out when you are acting in certain ways. Just don’t bite their head off when they help. The goal is to become aware when you are feeling less than glorious so you can change direction.

Second, Make Incremental Change

You change from bad to a little bit better. Step by step. The goal is to feel a bit better. Actually, the goal is to feel the best you can most of the time, but if you are intensely down or angry going from that place to joyous is too big a leap.

Going from angry to frustrated is a smaller step and a worthwhile one. You are learning to lessen the anger and move away from it.

People either get frustrated and then angry or they can get angry and cool off to frustrated. It is like a gate that can move in either direction. A swinging door. So when you are really mad the goal is to cool off and begin to think of what you do want.

If you are down you want to get to a bit better place. A place more okay and begin thinking about what you do want. If you are depressed you may want to get frustrated and angry. At least, from angry you can act.

Because it is intense you create more movement. From there you can more readily change. Regardless, one needs to get to a place where ‘enough is enough’ and then make positive productive change.

What you want makes you feel good when you think about it. If when think about what you want you feel bad you aren’ t thinking about what you do want. You probably are thinking about how you don’t have what you do want.

You won’t feel good if you compare where you are to where you want to be unless you are celebrating closing the gap. If as you inch your way forward you are delighted the entire time then it is fine.

Gratitude Helps Make Everything Better

If you celebrate everything you are on the right track and you will feel better more of the time. How can you feel down and out, frustrated, angry or bored when you are thankful and happy and delighted about everything? You can’t!

Find every little thing you can to enjoy, and appreciate. The more you find the better you will feel.

Once you make gratitude and celebration a daily habit you will be thinking and feeling good most of the time. You will be much closer to making your dreams come true as you live this way. Then your head and heart is clear to find more opportunity and advantages each day. You are better equipped to handle obstacles, and disappointment. You are far more resilient and resourceful!

When you live in gratitude and celebration everything is incredible and getting better at the same time. It is one of the wisest and most powerful choices you can make. Celebrate everything, even the tough stuff! Look for the silver lining and emphasize it. Never waste an opportunity to feel grand!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

How To Use Your Negative Thoughts

quote-what-stops-people-in-their-tracks-is-a-small-mental-packet-of-energy-it-is-called-a-thought-they-rex-steven-sikes-351430

“You aren’t one of those people who waste time and energy worrying about what you can’t do, are you? You know you will never get rich by focusing on being poor or on what you don’t have, right? I mean, if you don’t know where you are headed how do you ever expect to get there? Have you considered this?

You won’t know what you CAN DO by worrying about what you can’t do. You won’t get stronger by being focused on weakness. You will never discover what works by focusing on what doesn’t. You won’t get positive by thinking negative. HOWEVER, there is some use to negative thinking, did you know that?

How To Utilize Your Negative Thoughts

Whenever you catch yourself thinking about what you don’t want you can turn it to your advantage. You can use those negative thoughts, the ‘I don’t want’ thoughts to IDENTIFY what it is you do want. You can use them to make something better for yourself.

When you become aware that you are negative or focused on what you do not want THAT IS THE PRECISE MOMENT to say ‘I know I don’t want this!’ Then ASK YOURSELF, ‘What is it I do want?’ Focus strongly on what you do want and define it. Declare it! Affirm it!

‘I don’t want this. I WANT THIS INSTEAD!’

NOW you can do something powerful. You can move away from what you do not want and begin moving towards what you do want. NOW you know where you want to end up. You know your destination and can travel in that direction.

When you know what you don’t want, don’t have or don’t like it can help you get clear, precise, and targeted on what it is you actually do want. This is great because the more precise you can be, the more detail you can add into your mental images of what you DO want the more real it becomes to your subconscious mind.

It Begins With Awareness

The moment you become aware that your focus is negative or on what you don’t want STOP! THEN you stop creating what you don’t want. You stop attracting what you don’t want. Then you stop bringing about all the negative things you are thinking about.

We become what we think about. We get what we focus on. What we think about we bring about. Birds of a feather flock together.

If you are thinking negative thoughts you are creating more negativity. NOW your opportunity is to create more positivity. Now you can begin to create what you want instead. Stop thinking about what you don’t want. Let it go! Drop those thoughts completely!

Turn your attention to what you DO want. Keep your focus on it!

Take Control Steer Back To Center

Leave those not so good thoughts. Leave the less than productive thinking and complaining behind. Set your mind to focus only on what you do want. If your mind wanders off bring it back to what you want.

When you drive in a straight lane you are not going completely straight. You make micro adjustments to stay in the center of the lane all the time. You are constantly adjusting and steering your car towards the center of the lane or within the lines.

Consider the center the positive place you want to be. Whenever you notice yourself off center, thinking negatively, thinking about what you don’t want, thinking about lack, whining, complaining or blaming steer your mind back to the positive thoughts.

Do this and you will develop the habit of catching yourself and returning to the I Can Do place in your mind. Soon enough this process will become automated and you will naturally think more positive more of the time. This process is so cool! You’ll love it!

Remember, thinking and speaking are the same thing. Keep your words to yourself and to others positive and your life will truly change!” Rex Sikes

May you make it a marvelous day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

 

You Screwed Up! How To Get Over It!

your best teacher your last mistake

“You screwed up! Big or small? It doesn’t matter. We all make mistakes. The big question is what to do when you do make a mistake? How do you keep going?

Okay, this won’t be the first time you heard this. You are human. Humans make mistakes. That is what we do. That is how we learn. From our earliest moment we are screwing up and it is informing us and teaching us.

BUT since we went to school we hate messing up. We hated those red marks on our tests. We were told everything we did wrong. SO we developed an aversion to it. We developed a fear for making mistakes.

We responded out of sorts. We don’t like it. We are afraid of it and feel bad when we screw up.

Stop Focusing On Mistakes

If we focus on what we don’t want we get more of what we don’t want. If we spend time worrying about making mistakes it is more likely we will make them.

If we think ‘don’t screw up’ it is not any different than telling a child ‘don’t spill your mill’. You know what happens when we do that.

Focus On What You Do Well

You have to live fearlessly and expect the best. You need to plan for success and not let mistakes bother you so much. You are so much more than your occasional screw up.

You do more things right than you do wrong. Celebrate that! Embrace this! Accept it! You do plenty of things well and quite well.

How We Learn

As a child you learned to roll over, sit up, crawl and eventually walk by making more movements than were necessary. These movements were way off base. They weren’t at all close to what you need to balance or move forward easily.

When you learned to feed yourself you repeatedly missed your mouth with the spoon getting food all over the place and yourself. You made movements way off base.

You never thought to call them mistakes. They were! They were necessary for you to eventually hone your skills and get the food in your mouth. They were necessary for balance, movement, navigation.

These are called Unwanted Parasitic Movements. Name sounds horrible but you needed to learn how to stop doing them in order to get the spoon to your mouth, for you to sit up, crawl and walk.

They were absolutely required. They were larger than necessary, not even closed to the refined movements you learned to make because of them. It is like coloring outside the lines. You went outside the lines while learning to color inside the lines.

You learned to eliminate all that was unnecessary in order to refine and perform these skills. You got rid of these unwanted parasitic movements to smoothly navigate the spoon to your mouth.

It was all done through repetition. It was all learning. It was all ‘not that way but this way’ when it came to aiming your arm and hand to your mouth.

When you watch an infant sit notice how much it moves as it is learning to sit comfortably still. The infant is learning to balance from all these extraneous movements.

Good thing you couldn’t talk or think about it as you do now, you’d have quit after the first or second try, starved to death and would not be reading this blog.

Accept Mistakes As Part Of Being Human

Mistakes are part of evolving, growing, developing. If you deny making them or get caught up in thinking about them, over thinking about them or worrying about them you will only be miserable.

You will stagnate and prevent yourself from learning valuable lessons. You will make it tougher on yourself. Pat yourself on the back when you make a mistake and say to yourself, ‘You did the best you could. Better luck next time’.

Realize we all make them and they are a part of life. Embrace yourself, forgive yourself. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself for making them. It is absolutely ok.

Yes, there may be consequences and you may need to make restitution for your mistakes that should be understood. That is part of the process.

Don’t shirk your responsibility when a mistake affects others. Ask forgiveness do what you can to rectify it. Be positive and proactive. Do not let it ruin you. Make good on it and get over it.

Mistakes Make You More Attractive

People like people more who are able to forgive themselves and admit their mistakes. It actually makes them more attractive. There is the story of a popular television entertainer who was supposed to run up a flight of stairs during his TV special.

He stumbled and fell. The producers said, ‘don’t worry we can edit it out’. He said ‘leave it in’. He understood that it would make him more human and that the audience would feel for and pull for him seeing him falter but continue to go on. And he was right!

Happy people know this inside. They know that making a mistake is actually a learning experience and an opportunity. Since we all make them and it is probable we will continue to make them the best approach seems to be relaxed acceptance.

Don’t get bent out of shape. Keep moving forward. The more you can celebrate mistakes the less the sting. When you are able to embrace and accept, acknowledge, learn and move on your life takes on a much more wonderful quality.

When you give yourself permission to screw up or fail it takes the sting out of it. You will find yourself hurting less and feeling better more frequently. Attitude is important. It makes all the difference in the world. Keep on making mistakes and keep on learning and growing!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

 

 

|Rex Sikes| Daily Inspiration | Gratitude | Positive Thinking | Positive Attitude | Get Rich | Make Money | Success | Positive Thoughts | Live Your Dreams | Get Your Goals | Become Rich| Become Wealthy | Law Of Attraction | The Secret | Wealth Creation | Abundance | Unlimited Power | LOA | Neuro Linguistic Programming | NLP | Think and Grow Rich | Secret |

%d bloggers like this: