How you can use questions for positive powerful changes

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“The beginning of all creation, of all creative endeavors, is to see it in your mind. Everything first begins with thought.

What you think about constantly is what you get. What thoughts occupy your mind?

The one thing you absolutely can take control of IS your thinking. It is sadly, funny that some people won’t think they can. For me, this demonstrates, what you think is what you get. If you do not think you are able, it is apparent you won’t.

What is not proven in thinking you can’t is that it is not possible for anyone other than the thinker of those thoughts. Others, may think it possible, that they can take charge of their thinking and their results will differ from one who thinks it is not possible.

Perhaps, a useful way to think about it is “I may not be able to control my thinking, yet. I may not be able to take charge of my thoughts, yet but what if I could? How might my life be different, better and enjoyable if I were to start practicing thinking differently? If I were to think more positive each and every day, each and every moment how quickly could I begin to experience my life getting better? What if instead of I can’t I began to imagine that I can think in a powerful new way? What if I began to think about all the things I can do, that I have learned to do in my life? How many different abilities might I discover from my past that I could really begin to appreciate? I wonder how much more incredible my life could become if, for at least 3 months I made it, a point to think positive and find things to be grateful for?”

Sometimes, we need to grease the wheel.

‘I can’t’ in English actually means I can – not. I am able to not do something. I am able to not do – whatever follows the word can’t.

I am able to not think positive. Another way to think about it is that what this person is stating is in fact ‘I am fully capable to not engage in the activity of thinking positive thoughts.’

It is interesting that anyone would limit oneself is such ways.  It doesn’t mean that what we want to do is impossible only that we are able or successful in not attempting to do it.

To be capable of something – means you have control over it or aspects of it. If you are capable of feeding yourself or dressing yourself or driving you car it means you have learned it, gotten good enough to do it, and you decide whether to do it or not. You determine when, if, for how long, where and what to quite an extent. In other words you have decision power regarding your capability and you are in charge to. You can begin it or end it. It doesn’t come out of nowhere and just happen to you. You actually do it.

To say ‘I can’t’ means ‘I am capable at not doing this’ which further means  you have decided not to  do it. You would be better served if you changed all your “I can’ts” to “I won’t”. If you change to thinking and saying I won’t at least you recognize the locus of control You are in charge and determining what you will and won’t do or attempt.

I can’t as most of us use it is wimpy and only really an excuse for I will not.  We should at least develop the courage to state and live by what we will and what we will not do.

If a thought is what stops you from attempting to do something positive and wonderful for yourself then that thought needs to be changed.

Why be limited by a mental packet of energy? Why would one ever let their own thinking prevent them from having the most wonderful, safe, delightful, positive experience on this planet?

A large part of my work in this arena is utilizing for oneself  what I called ‘Directed Questions™’. I have been working with people, training, teaching, coaching and consulting on how to use questions for personal and professional transformation since the late 70’s.

Questions direct the mind to what we pay attention to. I won’t go into much detail at this time as I have written about it and spoken about* it extensively since long ago but I will point you to the example paragraph above. We will return to this powerful approach again and again.

If you find it too difficult to change the assertions, the declarations, the statements  that you make to yourself such as, ‘I can do anything’ you can make it easier by suggesting it differently. You might think, “I can do anything I learn to do”.

You want to ask yourself questions that direct you to what you DO want to discover and experience and that you ARE and HAVE BEEN able to do.

“I wonder how soon I might discover those things in my life that I am presently able to do that I thought, at first I could not? What are some of the many things I have earned to do that at first I thought was too difficult or that I would never be able to master? How many things did I not think I could do that I have learned to do and make easier? How many different talents and abilities do I now have in my life as a result of learning how to do them? What activities do I presently enjoy that I successfully learned to do? Which of my many talents do I enjoy and am most grateful for? How glad am I that I can do X (whatever talent you enjoy)?

Really consider these question. Ask expecting an answer. You have to repeatedly of yourself, honestly and sincerely. You entertain and enjoy the questions. You may be delighted to discover things coming into your mind quite quickly.

You may have to let it go and do something else, and let it settle on the back burner for a bit before things begin to pop into your head at another time. You know, what I mean. It happens when you try to recall someone’s name, and then you let go, forget about it only to have it suddenly drop into awareness. You suddenly remember!

As you find these examples, and ultimately you will when you really ask , realize that you did these in spite of what you thought was impossible at the time.

For some people this is learning to ride a bike, drive a car, speak another language, use tools and build a bird house, plumbing, work on a computer, learn to sign, pass a class, be good at math, balance a check book, lose weight, gain weight, sculpt their body, be comfortable in a crowd, get over a fear of insects, live without their partner, you could eat try a food and actually like it the possibilities for any one of us could be numerous. We have all done thing, accomplished thing we did not at first think possible.

Find these because these demonstrate you are able. You are capable. You have done it many times before. These are resourceful moments in your life. How long it took you, how difficult it was or wasn’t may be directly tied to your thinking at the time but one thing is certain. What you did not think you might ever do you learned to do and have either done it or continue to do it successfully. Find your successful example because remember what you focus on you get, what you think about you become.

Some people haven’t yet learned to live their life looking for resourcefulness but they can. Once we do look for resources and ‘can do’ moments we begin to discover many. As we discover more and more examples it should be come clear that we, that you are a person who can learn to do many things when you put your mind to it. It may take time and energy and effort but you are the type of person who has learned many different skills and talents. So take an inventory. The number is not important, this is not about keeping score. This is about finding out, learning that you are the kind of person who can do anything they decide to put their mind to and invest in.

Remember being comes first, then doing and having. Who are you – you are a capable person, a good learner, a powerful person, a person who can decide and who can learn and who can master skills and who can acquire whatever is necessary to be and do and have what you want.


Fill your mind with your ‘Can do’ moments.

Fill it with your ‘I did it’ successes.

Fill your mind with how absolutely capable and powerful a learner you are that you did these things in spite of not believing at first that you could.

Then realize, since you have been able to succeed in many areas you can build success in other areas too.

You can be successful in the area of taking charge of your thinking in a very similar manner. You just need to start. Imagine that!

Have faith. Thinking positive MOST of the time is a learned art form. It is a skill developed just as any other skill and ability is developed. Positive thinking and taking charge of you thought processes is mastered and becomes easier by repetition, repeating the correct skill set over and over again, until it becomes a habit just as any other skill is acquired.

Correct repetition implants the skill. Correct repetition implants the thought. You consciously choose the positive powerful thought you want to implant and you repeat it again and again. You use your conscious awareness to fill your mind with what you want to become.

Positive thoughts are more powerfully and quickly implanted if you are excited and enthused when thinking it. A thought accompanied by a strong positive feeling registers in your unconscious much more deeply and quickly than merely reciting words. The military knows this by having troops chant, scream, physically exert while chanting slogans and thoughts.

It is simple and it is actually easy to do.

It requires effort but you don’t need any added equipment, you don’t need to be an expert to begin you just begin.

You decide you want to find the best thoughts and you think them over and over again during the day. When ever you become aware that you may be thinking an unproductive or negative thought you change it to a more positive one or you ask yourself questions that lead your thinking in a more positive directions.

“How soon can I discover myself finding the silver lining in this situation. How quickly can I begin to think positive happy thoughts about this, what might I find to appreciate and and focus on that surprises and delights me? What are the 3 most wonderful feelings I can begin to feel? What would it be like to consider now all the wonderful opportunities there are for me in learning to think more positive thoughts about this?

How easily can I begin to think to myself in powerful ways I CAN DO THIS, I can learn to do anything I put my mind to? If I were to continue to think the best, most powerful positive I CAN thoughts how incredible will I find my life coming from day to day and moment to moment?”

The above are just examples questions which set directions for you mind to look in. These are just example help you get the idea . The key is learning to tailor them for yourself.

Utilize questions because they can revolutionize your life.

Think positive and your life will change. It really will. It is simple and it is easy and it does require dedication.

For you to notice results more rapidly  you must be rigorous, dedicated, persistent in learning how to control your thoughts because for so long you just let them run on of their own accord. Be gentle with yourself too. You do not need to be a nasty task master be kind and gentle and nurturing to yourself and you will move forward much more quickly.

The important thing to remember is ff you don’t take control of your thoughts they will control you – they already do.

You are in life where your thoughts have brought you. You already are reaping what you have sown from the past and you will, in the future reap what is currently being sown.

If you enjoy where you are – you are doing something right, if you are not then you can make it better for yourself. Change what you are thinking about and how you are thinking for the better and your life can change for the better. Change what you are feeling and how you are feeling for the better and your life will change for the better.

Start today by deciding to create what you want in your life and then keep at it.

Never give up and you will learn how to steer your mind to the positive thought that allow you to flourish.

You first must initiate the process and stick with the process in order to reap what you sow.  BUt reap in a gigantic way you will once you sow the seeds.

If you think about why you can’t or what stops you you will find reasons to not begin. If you think about what you have already done you didn’t think possible, you open the door to do new things. If you think about why and how you want your life to be different then it can be.

How do you want your life to be? What do you want? What would you like to be better at?

If you consider that you can do this you will. It can be easier than you might have previously thought.

When you decide you can do it then  you can start moving forward.

You could decide  now to proceed because there is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Just know inside yourself that you can do this. You can absolutely do this!

How incredible would it be to say YES! and transform your life?

NOW is the time to take deliberate control of creating all the good you want to include in your life. Think positive!” – Rex Sikes

* You can visit for some articles I wrote a while back on questions and other personal change topics.


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