Expert Reveals: Why You Should Go First; What Goes Around Comes Around!

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“Today, experiment. Do something you have never done that is safe, positive, beneficial to you and to others. Make sure it is simple and easy enough so that you can and will do it. Don’t complicate things. Think about what you can do that will make things nicer.

I have a suggestion. Try this on if you don’t regularly do it. Be on time. In fact, be slightly early. Show up before you are supposed to by a little bit. Don’t be so early you are rude. If you are in the habit of always being late or making people wait for you change that today.

Here is another. If you are always chronic about being on time and driving your family and friends nuts pressuring them to be there, chill a bit. Relax. Be a moment or two later. Don’t be rudely late but relax just enough to not be so precise. Let go of stress. Ease up.

You Are Your Own – Pilot Choose Your Destination – Make It Nice

If someone always buys you coffee or dinner and you rarely treat others go and treat some friends. Heck, treat strangers. If normally you receive from others, this time, give. Buy coffee, or a meal. Drive instead of letting them drive. Pick up a movie ticket. Something.

Anything! Do something nice for someone before being asked to help. Beat them to it. Delight someone by helping out before they enlist you. Do the dishes, make your bed, sweep the floor, put the toilet seat down, anything that makes it easier for another person.

Once in a while have a service day when you do nice things for others for no reason other than you can and it feels good. Don’t expect anything in return and don’t hold it over another person’s head. You did it. Don’t talk about how you did it for them. Just do it.

What Goes Around Comes Around – Delight And Spread Goodwill 

Put out there the energy you hope to one day get back. Don’t want or expect it from the people you ‘help out’ or are nice to, let them have your gifts for free. No obligation. Just send out positive vibes, friendly, helpful, wonderful, attractive, positive vibes. Enjoy!

What goes around comes around. If not right away, eventually. Be what you want to attract to yourself. Go first. Enjoy people and putting smiles on their faces. Pay it forward. Feel grateful you are able to do this. Bask in the smiles and silently pat yourself on the back for helping to put those there. Celebrate them. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Fill your day with gratitude!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Stop Stopping Yourself And Start Making Your Dreams Come True

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“You have a goal or a dream, right? Do you have something that is important you want to make happen. When you accomplish it or attain it you will feel more fulfilled and more complete. It would make you feel really good. Is that correct? Let me ask you this?

What are you waiting for? Why don’t you have it already? Take a moment and really reflect on these questions. Why don’t you already have what you want? Think about and list all the reasons. What you need? what holds you back? Everything you can think of.

Now realize this. Whatever your answer is your mind. That is the ‘reason’, the ‘excuse’ you don’t have it. Legitimate or not that is your conditioned mind coming up with the whys and the why nots regarding your dream. None are really legitimate. All are excuses.

Action Is The Proper Fruit Of Knowledge – Take Action

Don’t criticize yourself now, or me, just understand this. If you really wanted it why don’t you have it, yet? If your answer points outside yourself to circumstances or others or if it points to you those answers are your mental self talk about it.

That is what you ‘think’ the reasons are. Whether they actually are or not is anyone’s guess. Let’s pretend for a second they are not valid. All are B.S. From that frame what do you need to ask yourself to begin getting what you want? What questions do you need to ask?

How about these? What is one thing, large or small, and no matter how small, that I can begin doing today that would get me closer to making my dream come true? What is one action I can take each day that will help me realize my dream sooner?

He Who Waits – Waits 

Who do I have to call, ask or visit? What must I do? What do I need to stop doing in order to begin getting what I want? Examine your  thinking and find baby steps you can take in the right direction that helps you start bringing it about. Then take those small steps.

Whatever you have been waiting for, or whatever your reasons have been, have only delayed you from enjoying your dreams and goals now. Begin to ask yourself those questions and take those small actions, no matter how small, that move you forward. Do it today!

Do something positive today. Take positive, constructive action. Then celebrate. Be grateful. Pat yourself on the back for having ahead and waiting no longer. Continue to ask questions and find those tiny behaviors that move you forward. Action helps!

If You Want To Make Your Dreams Come True Start Now

Waiting does nothing for you. Take those small positive actions now. Ultimately, you will find other things you can do. If you ask of yourself enough, you can find the right people to assist you, and everything you will need AS you move forward. Don’t  worry about how just begin. Don’t delay. While you move celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

It is your day how will you celebrate it?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

How To Get The Upper Hand On Bad Decisions PT 2

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“We are discussing how to get past chronic prior bad conditioning, habits, and move into positive new ways of being, freer and more resourceful. This blog is continued from the last. I share a couple approaches from the many participants engage in during workshops.

You can take two vantage points. One is you see yourself in your mental movie. You watch as if you are an actor on the movie screen performing the actions. You watch yourself before and after the trigger. You see yourself, the trigger the stop, calm and continue.

You view YOU behaving resourcefully. In this disassociated way of seeing you can act as a movie director would and make your mental movie screen more compelling by playing with the color, size of image, sound and other elements which contribute to your feelings.

We Are What We Repeatedly Do 

The other way is to see what you would be seeing through your own eyes. You don’t see yourself but you see the world around you. You see the other cars and drivers, the  world from your point of view. You see what you see as you do in everyday life looking forward.

Rehearse success from each vantage point. When you watch yourself going through it you would have the feelings a movie audience member would have watching a character go through the circumstances. Do you understand? You can ask questions of me.

Use comments and I’ll answer as best I can. In the other vantage point, looking through your own eyes, you’d feel how you feel actually going through it. Since it is rehearsal you may not feel all of it but you’d feel what it is like to some degree. Feel it fully.

Break Bad Habits And Make Better Ones

In this process you change what happens when you get triggered to react less than gloriously. In the movie screen version you watch yourself stop and then behave differently. In the through your eyes version you experience the trigger, feel it and alter it. Get it?

The instant you become aware that you are feeling or thinking or behaving less than gloriously you must STOP! Pause and choose to behave differently. Behave as you prefer to behave. In repeating the mental exercise again and again you are rehearsing what you WANT.

Stop mentally rehearsing what you do NOT want. That is how you have been living and getting what you don’t want. Focus on what you DO want. Is it difficult to change the old habit? Of course, habits can be  tough to break at first.

Small Daily Improvements Are The Key To Great Results

To break it you bring awareness to the moment; become aware of what sets it off. It may seem difficult to do at first trying to notice the moment prior to reacting less than gloriously. It is likely you will blow through it many times but keep at it.

Eventually, you will notice sooner. You will get quicker at it. Your awareness will increase and you will be able to slip into that gap and divert the energy. No one can say how soon this will happen so you have to commit to sticking with it. Don’t give up keep at it.

Eventually, you will gain the upper hand. Mastery of anything, any skill, talent, behavior takes application, attention and practice. Repeated, correctly over a long enough period of time is how skills are developed. Even getting angry at traffic is a learned response.

Drop By Drop The Tub Fills – Awareness Is The Key To Change

In this process you learn to bring awareness to the trigger prior to being flooded with neuro-chemicals and impulses. As soon as you are aware of the changes you stop and take that deep breath interrupting the pattern you originally learned.

Interrupt it enough. Divert it with useful behavior you’d prefer to engage in and soon you will have developed new habits. It may take a little time so be patient. The more committed your are to learning the new behaviors the easier and quicker they will take hold.

Appreciate the process. I am sharing one of a number of approaches you can utilize to make changes. As always practice gratitude and positivity.  Fill your life with celebration. Enjoy the process because you can make some powerful changes. Enjoy celebration and celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

What will you do to have a glorious day?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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How To Get The Upper Hand On Bad Decisions

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“Okay, are you ready for some tough love. I know some people won’t like what I am about to say, while others will heartily agree. I think it needs to be said. Some people don’t like to hear things but the bottom line is we don’t know what we don’t know. We can’t.

I may make this two parts. I don’t know, nor can I know, what it is that I don’t know, given my present state of awareness. I can’t connect the dots forward but I can after the fact, go back and see how they lead up to this moment. But I can’t know in advance.

SO whether you want to hear this or not, perhaps you need to. I need to that is for certain. So what is good for the goose is good for the gander, right? I share this because I think it is one of the main reasons people have difficulty in their lives. Ready, here goes.

Good Decisions Come From Experience

If your life is crap it is because you ALREADY, outside of you own awareness, decided it is crap. The decision was made for you, by you, out of old chronic conditioning. Your very own habits determined how you would react. They’ll determine how you react to this blog.

You (we) react before you (we) have any awareness of what was happening. That is how the brain works. It learns to do things and then it does them automatically. Something internal or external triggers a programs and away it goes. It runs on and on.

Until or unless something happens to alter it or stop it, it does what it LEARNED to do.  Habits are wired in. There are good habits and good programs that run a lot of your life. There are other habits many might label less than glorious. Many of these run your life too.

Experience Comes From Bad Decisions – Learn From Everything

For example, getting very mad because traffic is ‘bad’. You don’t have to. Some people don’t, but, you do, (IF you do)  because that is what you’ve always done. Somewhere, at sometime, you reacted that way enough until it became a reliable neural highway in your head.

Chemicals squirt and electric impulses fire off in a particular sequence and voila’ ROAD RAGE! It is reliable. It is automatic. It happens fast. It happens every time. You live with road stress. You’d prefer not to but you haven’t changed it, yet. It is reliable!

If this occurs day and night, to work and back this is NO way to spend your time. It is no way to spend your time in a car. Some people don’t stop there. They recount the story, feeling stressed each time they do, multiple times throughout the day.

You Are Not A Product Of Circumstances But Of Decisions

Some people are worse at this than you are, but many others are far better. They aren’t bothered at all about traffic. They travel to and from places hardly ever getting ruffled for even a little bit. For some others it may be a mild nuisance. Annoying but they let it go.

The only way to change it IS to change it. You have to get inside and make a new decision before the old one fires off.  BUT how on earth can you do that? How do you extinguish the chronic behavior? You have to teach the brain ‘Not That’ but ‘This’ instead.

You have to train your brain to NOT DO THAT but to do this other thing instead. You have to shift from rage to relaxed. HOW? Awareness is the key. Since you can’t stop it before the trigger results in a flood of electro-chemical activity you must catch it.

The Most Important Decision You Make Is To Be In A Good Mood

You must catch it shortly afterwards. The sooner the better. SO you must become sensitized to what sets it off. You must know the trigger. You must know the trigger point. You learn what this is by deciding to change it. That is the first step. You make a decision.

Then you bring awareness to the situation. You begin to plan. ‘When that occurs I’ll do this instead.’ You can really benefit from visualization here. Imagine the situation that sets the sequence off. As you begin to see and feel yourself go into the old behavior, STOP.

Imagine yourself creating a pause. STOP, see yourself take a deep breath. TAKE ONE! Or two or three. Imagine yourself being aware that as it starts you stop it by changing your breathing. Visualize this again and again. You stop, breath and watch yourself shift.

To Change Your Life You Must Change Your Habits

Watch yourself calm down and behave differently. See yourself behave how you want to behave. You stop, calm, and drive normally. You stay calm and relaxed, but attentive and alert to the driving process. You imagine being how you want to be at that moment.

You rehearse the behavior again and again in your mind. There are two perceptual vantage points to take and I have just described one. I’ll describe the other in the next blog. For now you can practice this with any issue you would like to change. Practice on something mild.

It is always wise to choose something that is not to emotionally significant or overpowering at first. Learn the process, get good at it before moving on to more emotionally charged issues. This is wise practice. Take baby steps leading up to bigger change.

Replace Your Negative Thought Habits With Positive Ones

Practice making the changes. Practice your feeling gratitude. Begin and end each day and each practice session looking for this to feel grateful about and express your appreciation for these. Feel it fully and enjoy and delight int he feelings. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a glorious day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Do This When Your Situation Sucks!

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“A good friend texted me stating he needed some reframes. He spent a trying day, more than 12 hours in the airport, attempting to get to L A, with delays and missed flights. A remarkable man himself I sent him these words. These apply to all of us at anytime.

Learning patience can be a trying experience. As can learning to accept what is IS. Yet, what might you discover about yourself going through this difficult time? Are your thoughts supporting you and the situation or helping to undermine and frustrate you even more?

You decide which it is? Decide what needs to be done that will support you with who you are and who you want to be. Our thoughts about our situation contribute to how we feel. Are they lifting you higher and helping you feel better or not?

This Too Will Pass – But If It Didn’t – What Would You Do

Yes, it is difficult. Yes, the situation can be frustrating. That is what is. How you respond determines how you go through it. Are you contributing to suffering or feeling centered? Breath. Find your center. Take some deep breaths and let go. Allow it. Accept it.

You won’t change it being angry about it. That is as unlikely to change anything as yelling at the weather is for not being to our liking. Create a pause. Look inside and breath. What can you learn about yourself from this? Can you consider it a blessing in disguise?

If is is a blessing then what does it hold for you? Only you can determine that. There are two ways to view this. Positive or negative. Which feels better? Which gets you closer to the real you and the you you are evolving to be? It is your decision.

Inside Every Adversity Is The Seed Of Equivalent Opportunity

What are you focused on? Is it making you feel better or worse? Energy flows where your attention goes. Are you focused on what you want or what you don’t want? If you know what you don’t want then turn and focus on what you do want that makes you feel better.

Everything passes. Change is constant. This too will pass. BUT pretend for a moment it doesn’t. This would be your future forever. Is this what you want? Do you want these thoughts and feelings? Make them what you would want to live with forever. Your choice.

While I may have bias there is no correct answer. There is no correct behavior. There are choices and whichever you make those are your choices. Accept them. I choose based on what I want to create more of for myself, perhaps you may too. Meanwhile, peace and blessings!

Challenges Make Us Stronger – The Kite Rises Against The Wind

If you can find the silver lining you are ahead of the game. If you can find what there is to be grateful for, even inside a difficult situation, you are ahead of the game. Relax, breath, center, let go and feel grateful. What lessons can you learn? Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How can you have a glorious day?

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

How To Make Good Things Happen For Yourself

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“Would you like to be blessed more in life? Would you like wonderful things to occur for you? Want better health, happiness, opportunity, money or things to show up? Whatever you want you can have but it is up to you. It’s not up to anyone or anything else. Just you.

Begin by feeling blessed. Feel it. Do whatever you must in order to feel enjoyment, delighted, happy, grateful and blessed. Do whatever you must that is positive, legal and safe, that is. That should go without saying BUT but some people make it necessary.

Feel grateful, feel positive, feel blessed. Feel happy, feel healthy, feel wealthy. You first. You go first. You feel it first. You think it first and then you open the doorway for having these. You won’t have them if you feel negative, worried, frustrated or crappy. It just won’t happen.

I Stumbled Across My Strength Because Of My Struggles

You create luck from your mindset. You reap the harvest from the seeds you plant. Whatever you want you can have as soon as you learn to think it and feel it into existence. At one time there were no chairs, spoons, clocks or computers. Someone had to conceive these.

Everything humans made began first as a thought and then were brought about by follow through. Think it, feel it is possible, believe in yourself and you can make it happen. Feel eager, excited, feel joy that good things can and will happen. You will delight yourself.

Most people say, ‘okay, I’ll try that.’ They say ‘o boy, I feel good. Now what?’ Then, when things don’t happen they follow up with, ‘see, I knew it wouldn’t work’. THAT is not believing. That is not trusting or having faith or being 100%. That is why it will not work. Bad mindset.

Life 10% What Happens To You – 90% How You Respond To It

You have to be 100%. You can’t halfway plant a seed. You have to plant it. You can’t halfway dive into a poo.l You have to dive in. Give yourself over to light, love, happiness and joy. Give yourself over to delight and enthusiasm and notice the difference it makes.

The good life can be yours but you need to create it. It doesn’t happen for you. YOU do it! ‘Luck is the crossroads where preparedness and opportunity meet’. YOU must prepare! Then take advantage of opportunity. You have to have skin in the game!

Begin feeling grateful for everything.  Feel blessed for everything. Appreciate the good and not so good. Live fully with appreciation. When things don’t pan out be glad. Be thankful for the opportunity to learn and evolve through challenge. Grow! Delight! Develop an unstoppable winner’s champion mindset. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a glorious day.

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Why You Should Never Make Decisions While Angry!

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“There is a legitimate reason why one is told ‘breath’ when one is out of sorts. Breath! Take a deep breath. Slow down. Take a pause. When things are going south and one is getting upset remember to breath. It has a calming effect, it relaxes the body and the mind. Breath!

Breath and get centered. What is your center? Your center of gravity. For men, we tend to walk around as if it is high in the chest. It isn’t it is in the pelvis. Women more naturally rest in their center of gravity. This too helps the body and mind to settle. Return to center.

Breath, get centered, relax and let go. Forgive yourself, others, or the circumstances. Focus on something else. Literally, turn your attention away. It is easier to do once you create a pause, a break and get centered. Breath for as long as you need to to get calm.

Never Make Permanent Decisions On Temporary Feelings

There is an inner center as well. You can find it when you calm, let go and feel balanced. You can find your inner core. Your gut, the ‘hara’ from which your energy emanates. Your ‘Chi’ flows. Find your inner center. Find your place of energy and balance. Inside and outside.

When centered and calm you think clearer and act clearer. The mind settles and stops racing. You make better decisions. It is suggested one never decided anything, especially something important, when frustrated, heated, sad or angry. Not the time. Be positive and calm.

Nothing good comes from decisions made in haste; nor actions taken because one is hotheaded or angry. Settle down, cool down, find your center so you can think clearly, assess the situation and stay open to incoming information necessary to decide. Get it?

Each Moment Is A New Beginning Take A Deep Breath Begin Again

To remain open is critical. When we are frustrated or  raging we do not have the presence of mind to make good decisions. Therefore never make them while heated. Okay. Relax, let go, calm down, stay open, listen, gather information, assess it and then decide.

Take time to enjoy! Find something right now.  Find many things to celebrate and appreciate. Find reasons to delight and be glad. Have fun. Savor it. Take your time. Let your mind wander and discover how many different reasons you have to be thankful! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Delight in your day.

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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