The Giver’s Paradox


“If you want to increase your wealth, affluence, happiness and all goodness in your life practice giving for giving sake. Give to give! Don’t give to get. Give because you want to help and you are compassionate, kind, caring, thoughtful and sensitive. Give to give.

Think of others first and give. You don’t have to do it all the time. You don’t have to give away the farm. You don’t go into debt giving. You simply experiment and learn the true joy and blessings of giving. It is easy. Tip the doorman, the barista, your waiter a bit more. More.

Be generous instead of stingy. Someone said, if you get caught up in ‘should I give this much?’  Go ahead and give it. Err, on the side of too  much rather than on too little or the exact amount. Be generous and joyous. If you resent or regret any of it you are not giving joyously.

Cheerful Givers Don’t Count The Cost Of What They Give

Treat someone. Buy dinner. Pay for a movie. Devote some time. Hang out. Help them with a chore or situation. It doesn’t have to be just cash you give. You can give your time, energy,  effort, attention, companionship, respect, and money. The point is you give.

If you are giving to get something in return you are missing the blessing. You need to give without expecting anything back. You need to give without keeping score. You give because you want to. You don’t need thanks. You want to give. Here is a personal story.

I gave someone money for groceries once.  A few hundred dollars. It was a gift or a loan. I wasn’t sure how I wanted to treat it. I knew they needed a helping hand and I could help out. Well, later the people didn’t even remember what I had done. Details don’t matter.

Blessed Are Those Who Give Without Remembering – Give Freely

Suffice to say it is all good. They didn’t remember and never said thanks. I didn’t want to point it out. I hoped they’d remember. They didn’t. I started getting bugged by it. Get it? My good deed actually had a lot of strings attached. Still, I never reminded them.

That wasn’t the point. The point was I was trying to be a good guy but I also had a bunch of unconscious conditions attached. When the conditions weren’t met I began to feel resentful. What does resent have to do with generously giving? Get it? It was my issue not theirs.

That kind of giving may be better than not giving at all but it isn’t in the spirit of letting go and giving simply to give. Once you give, you give! You don’t set conditions or terms on it. You don’t take it back You let them do what they want with it. Don’t decided for them.

What Goes Around Comes Around – Give Without Conditions

My parents often had conditions. They’d say, ‘we’re going to gave you this but we don’t want you to spend it or to touch it.’ Or.  ‘you can only use it for this’; their particular reason. I hated that. I liked receiving it but felt obligated in ways I didn’t want to be obligated.

When you give simply to give, with no expectations or strings, you are truly blessed. Don’t look for the blessing. Give and let go. That is the trick. It is as tricky as enlightenment. Seek enlightenment with everything you have but if you want enlightenment it eludes you.

It only comes when you ultimately give up seeking it. This is true of many things. Let love go and you find it. When you don’t have needs you are rich. When you have needs you can’t seem to make ends meet. If you give to get you get nothing much back at all.

You Get Back What You Put Out – Celebrate And Enjoy

If you are happy with who you are and what you have your life can be truly incredible. Plus, you get more! It is an amazing paradox but one that affects us all. Let go. Give freely and you end up getting more back. Be delighted! Celebrate everything!”

Today, is all we truly have. Live fully today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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