I Have To Confess This!

horizons-1-life-phil-koch

“‘Confession is good for the soul’. Everyone has something they need to disclose. I have to get this off my chest. Not because it is a burden to me, but because it might help many people to understand they are not alone in this. We  all have areas in ourselves that challenge us.

This is my confession. I grew up, longing for the past. I wished I had lived way back ‘when’.  In ancient times. I longed to live in the golden era of Hollywood, too. I looked back and saw glamour as a pirate or as a film star. The past held a deep fascination for me.

As I grew older I longed for the past even more. My good old days. Days gone by. Old friends and passed pets. I cherished the memories. I lived in the present and re-lived the past. As it came time for me to plan for the future I wasn’t very good at it.

Make Peace With The Past – Celebrate And Enjoy The Present 

Of course not, I had little practice. Oh sure, as a child I wanted to be a pirate, a gladiator, a magician, a spy, a detective, a scientist, an astronaut, a movie star. I did have ambitions but I wasn’t actually sure how to fulfill any of them.

As a teen actor and in my early twenties I knew I wanted to act and be a success but I couldn’t imagine what it was like to BE successful.. I wanted to live the celebrity life but couldn’t see it happening. I spent time longing for old Hollywood wishing I hadn’t missed out.

I couldn’t picture myself succeeding. I could more readily picture myself getting hurt, screwing up, and failing, but ‘successful’ that was very difficult. The images were vague and fuzzy. Opaque at best. I was not good at visualizing. To be honest, I sucked being positive.

What Is Ahead May Be Greater Than Anything You Can Imagine

I tried affirmations, creative visualization and never got very far. I abandoned them, then try again later. I wondered what was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I get these things to work? I wondered and lamented at why so many  of my friends were soaring to success?

All around me people became famous and rich,  but I wasn’t. I blamed it on me. I wasn’t tall enough, or good enough, or good looking enough. I thought others were just luckier and I had bad luck, bad timing. If only I had been born into the studio system.

I did workshops and seminars but often felt worse because I felt stuck and broken. I read all the books, I knew all the right info  but couldn’t make it work in my life. I struggled with feeling lost and hopeless. I was angry a lot. Bored, I was incredibly bored.

The Longer You Live In The Past The Less Future You Get To Enjoy

I didn’t know what to do. If you aren’t acting as an actor you aren’t doing anything. The studios didn’t just let you in. Celebrities didn’t help you just because you knew them. A lot of people wanted you for money or sex, or both,  but not for having a star career.

Many took advantage of you in other ways. ‘Work for free you’ll be a big star.’ Lot’s of time feeling down, depressed, angry and abused. It is a rough, tough, pursuit. You hear ‘no’ more than anything. It is easy for some to blame self and others and do drugs or worse to cope.

I don’t share these things because I think they were terrible. Sure, I had it rough. Not as rough as some and rougher than some others. I share them because if I can change my focus from what was to what is and what will be, then anyone can.

In Order For Light To Shine Bright Darkness Must Be Present

If one can change all can change. It is possible! That is what I had to learn. We are capable of transformation and we don’t have to live as we had in our past. Our previous conditioning while difficult to recognize, override and escape is not impossible. It IS possible!

If I can learn to make affirmations and visualization work anyone can. You can! Never say never. For me, it took constant application. Struggle, I gave up. I tried again. I wasn’t smart enough to just keep trying until I was at a point where I couldn’t lose any more.

I’ll share more tomorrow. Whatever your life story is or was you can change it. You, and only you, can make yourself and your life be what you want it to be. Yes, you can! You may have more or you may have less to overcome but you can do it whatever it is. You truly can.

Old Ways Won’t Open New Doors – Change Is Good – Celebrate

Just don’t wait. Begin today if you haven’t already. Decide and commit. It isn’t always easy but it is quite simple. The first step is awareness that you need to or want to change. Next comes the decision and your commitment. Do that everything follows.

Take it step by step. You’ll begin to notice shifts in your thinking and being. Sometimes, the last to change are the results you get. The circumstances, change last, but you change first. Then you can navigate any circumstances. For some, everything changes!

Begin now, right where you are and move forward. Learn to feel and express gratitude and thankfulness because everything in your past brought you to where you are today so you can be who you want to be. Why doesn’t matter. You have wonderful opportunity right now.

All Great Changes Are Preceded By Chaos –  Challenge Is Good

Gratitude opens everything up. When you count your blessings you focus on feeling good and thinking positive. That change right there makes all the difference in the world. Attitude first and all the other changes can follow. So enjoy! Appreciate! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

What will you do today to make it marvelous?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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One thought on “I Have To Confess This!”

  1. I completely totally relate to all your words today:

    Mr. Young went from a scared “socially inept” little boy to vice president of his university.

    Mr. Young went from being a scarecrow with “no brain”. To a real genius getting a 400 thousand dollar master’s degree for FREE.

    Mr. Young went from middle class to first class. All the best seats in restaurants, not having to wait in lines, free box seats with dignitaries and celebrities.

    Mr. Young went from barely surviving financially to getting a million dollars for a young man’s dream.

    Mr. Young went from a weak self-conscious powerless individual to a person who gets what he wants when he wants it on his terms.

    Mr. young magically transports you back in time and you feel and experience each of these wondrous transformations just like you are there in the moment as it is happening to him.

    This book will show you the grandest secret of the universe which will enable you to have all the aforementioned for yourself and no one will be able to stop you.

    Thanks again Rex, I remember when it all seemed Impossible….

    Liked by 1 person

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