Do You Know The Critical First Step In Making Positive Permanent Changes?


“Would you like to be happier? Do you want better heath? Want to perform better in your career, sports, life and relationships? How do you transform you for the better? How do you get started making personal changes? If you are curious we’ll explore in a short series.

Awareness is the first step. At some point on some day for whatever reason you notice something isn’t as wonderful as you hope it would be. You notice a glitch or a disaster. You see someone else being doing or having something you want and you think, ‘that’s for me’.

Somehow at sometime, somewhere you become aware that what you are doing isn’t working. You become aware that something you are doing could be done better. You become aware of lack, of negativity, of the downside or of missing out on the upside.

The Best Way To Predict The Future Is To Create It

You become aware you need to change. You become aware that it might be possible to make changes. You can or could change so you can have more of what you desire. Without this AS a possibility you wouldn’t move forward. Awareness starts it all off. It is the trigger.

Often, you first become aware of what you don’t want before you become aware of what you want. It is as if you outgrow a pair of shoes and feel the pain. You think, ‘I need some new shoes’. Then you begin to decide what kind of new shoes you need or want.

The choice of what you WANT is up to you. You recognize there is a gulf between what you don’t want and what you do want. You realize you need something to be different. You imagine a better you or a better life. You dream of it. You begin to wonder and explore how.

Your Thoughts Create Your Future 

You don’t know yet how it might be possible. You don’t know what to do, for certain, to make it better. You may have an idea or you may be lost trying to figure out what to do next.It can be confusing. So stop. Look at all you don’t want and ask yourself, What do I want instead?’

People get stuck for many reasons. One of the first is when they become aware that life isn’t what they wanted and they get depressed and upset. They get frustrated and angry. They sit there. They stay rooted. They wallow and whine. They complain and blame.

Obviously, this isn’t good though It is normal. It is human. It is actually IS great to get angry. It is good to be SO angry YOU definitely DECIDE to make things different. You get angry enough to think and behave in new ways different.

You Become What You Think About – You Get What You Focus On

It is not so good to wallow and whine. However, anger can be and is a useful starting place because it can cause you to turn your back on the negative. You decided to  drop what is and move toward the positive desires you have. It is the impetus for making changes.

It is critical you turn from the negative and move into the positive. You need to change your focus from what you do not want and begin to entirely focus on what you DO want. You have to build, create or attract what you want and let go of what you don’t want.

Leave or let go of what you don’t want, completely! Use it only to clarify what you want. Get precision and focus on your positive goal. Unfortunately, too many people get stuck in creating more of what they don’t want because they don’t turn towards the positive.

Your Habits Determine Your Present

You must focus on what you want. The anger, and negativity, and knowing what you don’t want is absolutely valuable to help you specify what you do want. You must get clear about what you want and where you want to head. Then you must head there.

You can’t drive forward safely with all your attention in the rearview mirror. When you go on a vacation you need to know your destination.  BUT some exclaim, ‘what if I just want to wander around taking in everything?’ That is the problem with most people.

They wander, they don’t know what they want or where they want to end up. They drift aimlessly. They aren’t focused. They don’t have a plan. They don’t have a road map to get from points A to Z. You need to know where you are going in order to get there.

If You Want A New Better Future – Create New Better Habits

If they would set their site of the end goal they will know when they get there. This is an important point not to miss! Know what you want. Focus on it so you can create it. Build what you want rather than fighting the old.  Once it is built party. Celebrate along the way.

In the next blog posts I’ll share some move. Meanwhile explore. Determine hat do you truly want. Clarify it. Be specific. Visualize it. See it, hear it, feel it, smell it, taste it. Make it as real as you can for yourself. Be glad you are being concise.

Be glad you know what you want. Be glad you are becoming more aware. Feel grateful for the opportunity to make your dream come true. Many people miss out because they never wake up to the fake that destiny is within their reach. It is in their grasp. YOUR destiny is in your hands. What will you do about it? Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make it a point to feel awesome today!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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2 thoughts on “Do You Know The Critical First Step In Making Positive Permanent Changes?”

  1. Hello Rex,

    Another night of awakening and not being able to go back to sleep, due to my mind reeling. My name is Cyndie Cherry-Bain, I’m 68 yrs. old and I live in Carbondale, Il, located in the very southern area of Illinois.

    I read a lot of your wonderful and heart felt messages, but I just don’t seem able to follow through with the structure/steps that you try to guide us through. I feel I have to tell you why I’m so devasted and afraid of the remainder of my life, to give you a better understanding.

    I have lived on my father’s trust that he left my sister and I, over 30 years ago and due to a couple of reasons my money has run out… last December. We did save enough to get us through until Jan. or Feb of 2017. My husband Ed, was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in Dec. of 2014 and fought the cancer until his lungs wouldn’t function anymore. He passed away on Aug. 2nd, 2 & 1/2 months ago. He was the absoloute love of my life and we had been married 19 years. This was my second marriage, after *having* to get married at 16 to a boy I thought I loved, but who at 16 knows what love really is. He turned out to be an alcoholic yet, I stayed with him for 32 years, as not to embarrass my parents by getting a divorce. I was miserable and never saw him much, but we did end up having three childrn, which I completely raised by myself, as he was always anyplace, but home. Anyplace, where he was able to be with his buddies and drink.

    My father passed in 1986 and my mother in 1992 and I was left a few million $’s which I now see what I could have done, as far as investing in a home in Florida where we could retire, but instead, I felt I was being very selfish to keep all the money to myself and I decided to gift $3,300 a month to each of my children. This was for them to invest, take vacations or whatever *extra* they may need. Well, they didn’t work and they used the gift, each month, to live on. In 1998, my oldest son, Jimmy, died of an overdose of cocaine and his money (gift) came back to me. Granted it mainly went to pay the extra income tax I now owed, each year. I was informed a little over 7 years ago that the money was going to run out, due to all the drug treatment centers I had my son Jimmy in and also the lack of interest% from our investments which were held by an investment corp. locally. My sister immediately took the money from her children and invested it, but being the soft hearted and now I see my being the unrealistic and dumb mother I was, I allowed my children to continue receiving the money, which has put me in the position I’m now in. We, my sister and I, owned a company my father had left us, the only one the estate didn’t liquidate…It was a nursing home management company and we were down to managing 3 or 4 nursing homes, one being a home my sister and I personally owned. It is a long, tragic and personal story, regarding this management corp., but to make a very long story understandable, my sister became upset, as her oldest daughter had joined the company as the president, knowing very little about this business and during this time, she became addicted to pain pills, changed her employment contract and destroyed the original and after working only part time, in a full time job, she wanted out. My sister knew nothing about the drugs, the many vacations my niece took and many other things, as her entire family lives two hours from Carbondale, Il. where my family and I live and the management co. is located. She decided she wanted to close a viable company, ino, to try to put closure andnon exsistance to her daughter’s problems, which she could not cope with or accept. She decided to allow the grandchildren to vote, even though they each only held 2% of the company, which resulted in the ongoing closure of Jamestown Management Corp. BTW, she is married to an Orthodontist and money is no problem.

    Please allow me to list a few of the things that have or will happen within the next year, or less.

    I have lost the dearest person in my life !!!

    I had to list my home for sale and I still owe $90,000 on it.

    The money we had saved is almost gone, after an unexpected $10,000 in funeral costs and repairs to our home, in order to sell.

    I have no idea where I will be able to live, after our home sells.

    I have no idea if, or how much money I may have to live on after January. It all depends on how much the one nursing home generates in profit ?

    I have to move to an apartment and sell most of my furniture, antiques and etc;

    My precious dog was just diagnosed with cancer and we both know what that means.

    The main thing…My heart hurts, I’m in a fog, I’m scared and I am in dire need of someone that will listen to me and understand what an upheavel I am facing.

    I want you to know how very grateful I am for the life I have lived, the opportunities I have over-looked, but could have pursued… and the blessings I have been given in my life !!! God has been there in my life and has seen me through, but now I’m scared.

    Most Sincerely,

    Cyndie Cherry-Bain (Miskelly)

    P.S. I know you have to be confused, but I just tried to give you an overview, as the story is and was quite long.

    On Fri, Oct 21, 2016 at 12:08 AM, Rex Sikes’ Daily Inspiration and Gratitude wrote:

    > rexsikes posted: ” “Would you like to be happier? Do you want better > heath? Want to perform better in your career, sports, life and > relationships? How do you transform you for the better? How do you get > started making personal changes? If you are curious we’ll explore i” >


    1. I do recommend you find someone in your area who can hold your hand and help guide you through the difficult times. Having the right support is important. Seek people who have what you want and who have struggled through similarly as you who are now living as you would like to. Find someone who can comfort and inspire you. I have to disclaim here and say my posts don’t constitute medical, psychological, financial or mental advice. So be sure to seek assistance from appropriate, compassionate resources.

      That said, you have a tremendous story you have told yourself for many years. That story reveals struggles and heartbreak but also resilience and hope and faith and the ability to keep going no matter what. I suggest you begin, however small, whatever baby steps you need to take, to switch the emphasis of your story from hardship to resolution. Shift your focus and awareness and the habitual attention you give to the difficulties and look towards how you are strong and capable and able to have made it through.

      You are far more than a survivor. You demonstrate will power, tenacity, commitment and the ability to make it through anything that has come your way. Focus on your strengths, your resources and your assets. Begin to tell a different story. What is past IS past and done with. You have come through and are here today. Today, tell a story of strength, and commitment and resourcefulness. Discover your inner abilities and your positive mindset.

      It may not be easy at first, habits are difficult to change at times, but they can be changed, Create the story you want to have for your present and future. Stop telling yourself negative things and start telling yourself more positive things. Realize you are in a process. You can say things like, today I am beginning to think differently about myself, I am beginning to focus my attention on the positive things I can do. I am beginning to look for my inner resources and abilities that I can apply today. I am finding it easier and easier to begin to smile more. I am in the process of letting go of the past. I am beginning to look toward a bright day and a better future. Each day I can begin to do one small thing that moves me forward. I am able and capable to think positive thoughts. I can make my future what I want it to be. I am learning how to create what I want. I can decide what I want to pay attention to. I choose to focus on the positive and the good more and more each day.’

      Be willing to ask for help. You have supported others allow others to help you through trying times.

      Fill your mind with declarations, affirmations, statements that help you tell that different story. Ask yourself, what if all the less than glorious things I have told myself were untrue? What if I could have a more glorious future? How soon could I begin to move in that direction. What if I were to spend more time focusing on what I want? What do I want to create and enjoy today and for tomorrow?

      Directing our thoughts takes repeated effort and gets easier in time. Our thoughts determine our feelings and our feelings our actions. Do things that make you feel better and more positive. Hope is a good thing when followed by actions.

      You have supported others be sure to look for and find others who can help support you through trying times. You can adopt the mindset that everything you have been through has been preparation for the person you will be. It has made you stronger and more capable. Find the silver lining in each dark cloud and focus on that silver lining. It is understandable to feel as you have. It is also possible to change the feelings and the future. You have a positive story in all this to tell and help others. Your path can inspire lots of people to determine to live the future you want.

      Napoleon Hill said, whatever we can conceive and believe we can achieve. AND he also emphasized the importance of finding a mastermind group or creating one – whose members are assembled for a definite chief purpose and who function harmoniously. I think this applies to you. Find those people you can align with who can help meet the needs you have and who can work together with you to not only overcome the difficulties but help move you forward into the future to live your mission and purpose and help others too.

      Never give up. It takes courage to share. It takes courage to ask. Sometimes. You have done both. You are a courageous person and already an inspiration. Keep going and make it through. My words are not enough. DO get together the appropriate people who can be of service or assistance. Keep the words in mind and in heart and allow yourself to change and move forward. Stay in touch. Keep the faith. Surprise yourself and be delighted by what you can do that you have never yet imagined you were capable of. You can go on to do things that others only dream of. Be well and take care, do a little each day to move you in positive direction and again stay in touch. Peace and blessings


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