‘Do you realize anxiety is negative planning? You can learn to let it go. Focus on what you want instead of what you don’t want. Plan what you want not what you don’t. People think, ‘I don’t want to be anxious’ OR ‘I should lessen my anxiety.’ ‘I don’t want to worry.’
Consider what you just thought or said. What’s the last thought in your mind? Well, what is it? It is a thought about being anxious. If I say don’t think about a blue elephant what’s left in your mind? If I say I want to lessen my thoughts of a blue elephant, what’s the thought?
The last left in mind is STILL a blue elephant. Get it? I said don’t think about a blue elephant or I don’t want to think about a blue elephant and what remains in the mind IS the blue elephant or anxious thoughts. What you want to do is decide what you DO want.
You Get What You Focus On So Focus On What You Want
Think about what you want and even why you want it. Phrase it positively! ‘I want to be calm and peaceful. I want to focus on my breathing.’ There are the reasons why you want these. If you say, ‘so I am not upset’, what is left in the mind? Upset? Why do you want it?
Stop thinking upset! What is the POSITIVE benefit? Whenever I use the word ‘don’t’ as in, ‘don’t get mad’ I’m going to get mad because for me to understand what it means to ‘don’t’ or ‘not to get mad’ I have to imagine getting mad first? I have to picture it inside.
So I end up getting the very thing I don’t want. Get it? It is the same with the elephant. WHAT DO YOU WANT? ‘I want to feel calm so I can freely express myself. I want to feel calm and be happy. I want to feel calm and find things to delight in.’ Focus on the positive benefit.
You Are Never Too Old Or Too Young To Set A New Goal Or Dream
‘I want to…’ It is okay to KNOW what you don’t want, or what you want to avoid or eliminate, BUT your focus MUST BE on what YOU DO WANT! So you can say ‘I AM CALM. I AM CENTERED. I AM FOCUSED ON MY BREATHING.’ This is useful and accurate.
You can also say, ‘I am learning to be calm. I am learning to be centered. I am learning to focus on my breathing. I am in the process of learning to become calm’, etc. This is true too. You are in the process of learning to be calm, or whatever your end goal is.
Whichever is easiest for you to accept and believe first. Either, you are calm or you are learning to be calm or even you are in the process of learning to be calm. Get it? It is quite simple. You want to be able to accept and believe that what you say is accurate and true.
Focus On Good Thoughts And Good Things Will Happen – Feel It
More next blog but here is the most important piece! CHANT IT. SING IT. DANCE IT! Add all the very best emotions and feeling to it that you can. Make yourself feel good and enthused about it. Feel happy and joyful and enthused as you say ‘I am learning to be calm.’
Always encourage positive feelings and emotions. Look for anything and everything to feel good and glad about. The more you do the more you enhance your ability to find good things. The more we do the more we can do. Be grateful! Enjoy and celebrate everything!”
Have a magnificent day!
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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