Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Are You Getting What You Don’t Want?

the-upstairs-lookout-phil-koch

“Ever have one of those moments when something happens in your life and you responded wildly by exclaiming, ‘I knew it! I knew it!’ Do you find yourself thinking, ‘Why do these things always happen to me?’ It could have been something marvelous or not so marvelous.

Are you familiar with the notion of self-fulfilling prophecy? Simply defined a self-fulfilling prophecy is a prediction that directly or indirectly causes itself to become true due to positive feedback between belief and behavior.

Put another way, the positive or negative expectations we hold about circumstances, events, or people, affect our behavior towards them in such a way that we unknowingly create situations in which those expectations are fulfilled.

You Go Where Our Thoughts Take You

In other words we cause something to happen by believing it will come true. As an educator and parent I know, the Principle Of Fulfilled Expectations, in the classroom or in life is, that people, students and children, tend to rise to the level of our expectations.

Hence, we should always believe the best about people. When we expect the best of someone they are more likely to do their best. If we expect the worst, then, don’t expect much from them. Our ‘prophecies’ have a way of coming true.

For example, the boss hires a new employee but expects the employee to be unproductive. The boss then treats the employee in a way to elicit that very response. The boss doesn’t do this consciously or on purpose. At some point the boss thinks, ‘I knew this wouldn’t work out’ and it doesn’t.

You Can’t Escape The Results Of Your Thinking

For each of us growing up, the result may be, we become something we were told we would become. For example, if you’re told you’re ignorant or stupid, poor with money and destined to fail you might grow up to be that way because you adopted those beliefs from others and you believed them.

If you don’t believe you are worthy or deserving of happiness or riches you may find that your life is always a struggle. You will prove it to stay congruent with your concept of self-worth. Your brain will do everything to keep you and life consistent with your self-image.

If deep inside, from your childhood experience or from childhood modeling and conditioning, you don’t feel deserving of everything good you will think, feel and behave in a manner consistent with that mental map or belief. Your life will reflect your inner reality.

Believing Is Seeing

Even though you may wish and want to be different you may find yourself reliving the same problems again and again. Our inner turf determines our outer turf much more the most people know or want to admit. We are responsible for everything in our lives.

Some date or marry the same partner repeatedly. It is a common issue for many. They get rid of one for a copy of the same and wonder why. ‘Why do I always date the same person’? Yes, it sucks if you have hidden agendas that hold you back from living a good life.

Consider the Law Of Attraction. You attract what you are. Perhaps, this helps put the LOA into a useful context for you and outside of the realm of airy fairy fantasy. It is scientific at its core. Our thoughts and feelings determine what we get back.

You Get What You Focus On

We live from our self-image or self-concept of our self-worth or deservedness. How could it ever be otherwise? We operate from mental maps, we co-opted as our own, from our early years and have spent our life time traveling those maps. We get good at them.

We have rehearsed them, practiced them, repeated them over and over an over again. We have thought the same negative thoughts and felt the same negative feelings wishing that we wouldn’t. Yet, we keep getting more of the same. We attract the same crap.

The good news is you can do some housecleaning and be free of limiting beliefs. You can change your self-image and self-worth and transform your life in incredible ways. You can free yourself from what has held you back and skyrocket into a fabulous future.

If  You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

Awareness is the key. Turn the flashlight of your consciousness on your thoughts and verbal statements. Whenever you think or say anything less than glorious stop and change it. Gently notice when you express a limitation and rephrase it into something positive.

Replace the old habitual, chronic, negative beliefs and statements, you originally got from others anyway, when you were too helpless to do anything about it, with positive, powerful new ones. Then continuously reaffirm the new belief. Instead of ‘I can’t’ say ‘I can!’

The key to making permanent positive change is your emotions. Words have an effect but not nearly as much as our feelings. Feelings drive everything. We adopted the beliefs not so much because of the words but because of the feelings at the time.

It Isn’t Whether The Belief Is True Or Not That Is Important

Your parents or peers or teachers were angry or frustrated and you felt the same or scared when these messages were delivered. It was the fear or the frustration you felt that wired in the beliefs not simply the words. The concepts took hold because of how you felt.

When you affirm your new beliefs do them with lots of positive enthusiasm and strong emotion. Shout them, sing them, and say them enthusiastically with strong conviction. Believe them. Chant these mantras throughout the day as often as you.

Why  does repetition work?  A lie repeated enough is frequently substituted for the truth. You grow muscles by repeated exercise. You learned everything you have ever learned by repetition and  in making it habit. When you were little you heard things many times.

What Is Important – Is The Belief Supportive Of You Or Not 

You got messages about the world directly or modeled out for you, about yourself, your place in it, relationships, your worth, work, money, leisure time. Each time these were accompanied with similar emotions. The people expressing them had theirs and you had yours.

You came to believe you either are one of the people for whom anything was possible or part of those for whom it wasn’t. Some people may think good things happen but only to others, not for me. If you do, then it is time for a change. Make your life what you want!

You must be rigorous. There is a price to pay for freedom. You must use your will power and confront the negative demons but when you do you will be a victor as long as you persist. It is simple but not always easy.  Place a guard before your mind and your tongue.

Awareness Is The First Step To Permanent Positive Change

Commit! Watch your thoughts and your words. Speak only to bless heal and prosper. Be rigorous but gentle. Don’t criticize yourself when you discover less than glorious beliefs CELEBRATE you found another one you can change. Life gets better pretty quickly.

You will transform from within. It takes awareness and will power. Once aware of the limitation you must do something in order to be different. Continue to repeat the process again and  again and you will replace your negative thought habit with a new positive one.

Remember habits are reliable and automatic. Be vigilant. Be persistent. You will discover wonderful things beginning to happen when you exchange the old for the new. So get rid of what holds you back, celebrate the exchange, and enjoy the new. Be grateful.

For Life To Be Different You Must Believe And Act Differently

Be happy and hopeful and commit to being different and you will be. Once you have the new beliefs you will still engage in self-fulfilling prophecy. Only now it will be positive. Because you have improved your self-image things will work out better for you. It is so cool!

Your brain will work to keep you consistent with your new positive sense of worth and deserving. You will discover new possibilties. You will think, feel and behave in a way that attracts the right people, events and circumstances to you. That is how it works! Celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful today and inspire others!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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One thought on “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: Are You Getting What You Don’t Want?”

  1. It is amazing how we have a thought and based on that thought we make decisions. Far too often the thought is a negative one which holds us back from reaching our goals and enjoying success. Something I have been working on is helping others change their negative thoughts. When we have the chance to encourage another and make them realize they can achieve their goal we should. I am conducting research on the topic of Confidence and would love to have you fill our a survey I have created. If you are interested you can take a look here… https://melaniefellmanwrites.wordpress.com/2016/04/08/a-survey/

    Liked by 1 person

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