“When it comes to personal change most of the programs offering advice and solutions won’t tell you precisely what you need to know. They leave it out. Later, they tell you, if you are having difficulty making the program work, here is why, this is what you now must do. In the next few posts I will cover this topic area and more. Part 1.
It’s more honest and ethical to tell you what is required of you up front than to hook you, reel you in and then tell you, it is your fault it isn’t working. I don’t like that. However, it is useful to capture the imagination of people so they begin the journey otherwise they may not. BUT do tell them what it involves.
Many programs make it seem as if someone or something is going to help you from the outside. The ‘Secret’ will rescue you. Help will flow your way once you learn it. Well, learning it IS fine, but that actually is not enough. One, you must become it not simply learn it. Two, you are responsible for making it work nothing, no on else is.
Be Positive – Stay Positive – You Can Do It
If that sounds like bad news consider this post tough life. I want to tell you how it is. I don’t want to fill you with fluff or mislead you. Personal change and development is not magic. Yes, sometimes it can seem that way but the bottom line there is a lot of work to do. Many people leave this out. There is work to do! Get over it.
Those who succeed are those who will do it. BUT few will. Many will begin but not follow through and actually accomplish much. Just as most self help books aren’t read past the first chapter most people, will begin, as they do on January 1, working on new resolutions only to abandon them some short time later. Fewer continue on.
Please, don’t be daunted by this, resolve to make a difference for yourself instead of being one of the many who drop out. Promise yourself to stick with it no matter what. Find a way to do just enough to make it possible. Stay with it and don’t overwhelm yourself with too much at one time. Drop by drop the tub fills. Be one of the few!
Drop by Drop – Bite By Bite – Step By Step
There is a lot of work. You are working on yourself to overcome chronic, old negative patterns and habits. You are working on yourself to get out of your comfort zone and overcome inertia, the tendency to do nothing. You are working to change your thoughts, feelings and actions so you can get better results and enjoy more.
You must decide to be in it for the long haul. You must dive in the pool and immerse yourself and not just dip your toes in. At times it will be easy at other times more difficult. That is how it is! It gets easier the more often you engage in the process and the longer you do it just as everything does. All things are difficult at first.
Remember, learning to read and write. There was a lot of effort involved up front. Was it worth it to you? You do it now without thinking about the process. Was it worth it to learn to ride a bike or drive a car? Now it is a reliable, easy habit. In order to make these abilities automatic you had to stick with them and repeat them.
The More We Do – The More We Can Do
You didn’t learn nor acquire the skills overnight and no one tapped you on the head and gave them to you without you applying yourself. In order for your life to be changed for the better you will have to change some things in your life. You will need to engage, and practice, and practice enough until you become it. You become it!
Learning to play the piano can be difficult at first, as is juggling, mathematics, speaking a new language, playing basketball, swimming, sitting up as an infant, crawling, walking and feeding oneself. Everything we NOW do we learned to do. We learned bathroom habits, hygiene and how to dress. Everything!
Consider this: as an infant you were far more tenacious than you may be right now. If you didn’t keep doing until you succeeded you would never have sat up and walked. You’d have starved had you not learned to feed yourself. BUT you never quit. You did everything you needed to in order to succeed. As an infant you were amazing!
Whatever We Want To Do With Ease – We First Do With Diligence
Growing up with others you LEARNED to give up. You LEARNED things were tough. You were TOLD you may not have it in you or you may not amount to anything. Blah, Blah. YOU BELIEVED THEM. You had already achieved so much and demonstrated you could learn to do incredible things, yet, you were influenced by others.
You may have been told you couldn’t learn well, you had a disability. We all got negative messages from well intending people. We modeled out attitudes we learned from watching others and concluded they were right when things got tougher. We tried three times and quit because that’s what we LEARNED to growing up.
Everything you do you have LEARNED to do, well or not, right or wrong. Yet, some people tell others they have learning disabilities. They don’t, barring neurological impairment. What they LEARN from others is HOW TO be disabled, how to make things tough, how to give up. This is what you also learn. You LEARN from messages.
If You Really Want To Do Something – You Will Find A Way
So be willing to work at it and do whatever it takes for as long as it takes and you will do fine. Only, afterwards, but, perhaps along the way, it will become worth it for you. At some point you will look back and notice how far you traveled and feel wonderful about it. It WILL be worth it. Hang in there. Commit! Do it as that infant did it.
Those who begin and keep going eventually get there. Though the journey may be difficult at times, those who persist arrive. Those who quit don’t. Far fewer get there than the number who start. That is just the way it is. You and I need to decide which statistic we will be. Will we finish or will we abandon? It is up to each of us! Decide.
More in the next post. As always please feel free to ask questions and leave comments. Share these words with others who may benefit. AND Always, no matter what, find a way to enjoy the journey. Night and day are part of the same 24 hour cycle. Life is meant to live and enjoy. Sometimes it is hot, sometimes cold. Sometimes tough sometimes easy. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
Look and enjoy the good things you can discover!
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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