Category Archives: Self Improvement

Are You Sabotaging Yourself In This Way?

“Say to yourself, ‘hello’. Now ask, ‘how are you?’ Do you hear an answer? I bet you do. That voice inside that says ‘hello’ and answers your question is your self-talk voice. Perhaps, one of many. Guess what, you talk to yourself all the time. You argue with yourself.

Self-talk is a continuous stream of thoughts, mental conversations, you have all day in and day out. It is the voice that says, ‘I should talk to Sue,’ then says, ‘I can’t stand Sue.’ Then again says, ‘still I should talk to her.’ It argues both sides. It can be positive or negative.

It is endless. Realize this: whatever dominates your mind determines who and what you are. If your thoughts are mostly negative YOU will be mostly negative and attract and create mostly negative experiences and people to you. Get it? Is you and how you live?

The Mind Is Only As Strong As Your Weakest Think

You are whatever mostly dominates your thinking. Remember, you become what you think about. This is the reason you want and need to monitor and manage your self-talk. What you think about you bring about. If  you are mostly positive you will have a positive life.

You cannot have mostly negative thoughts and live a positive life. You need to change your self-talk and design your mind. You need to take charge of your thinking in order to create your best life ever! If you do nothing, nothing will change. If you keep doing what you have been doing, nothing will change. To change, you must change some of what you are doing. Get it? I hope so. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

The Surest Signal You Are Ready For A Change


“The surest signal you are ready to change is discomfort. Why discomfort? You might ask. Well, when you are feeling uncomfortable  you seek to feel comfortable again. Don’t you? Yes, you do. Humans try to maintain comfort at nearly all costs.

When you are outside of your zone if feels UNcomfortable.  What is really going on is your subconscious, while trying to preserve your comfort, is telling you that you need to change something. Your feelings are the signal, they are clues, you need to make a change.

When you are comfortable there isn’t any resistance. When you are growing or pushing the envelop there is some push back. If everything is cushy, then, suddenly uncomfortable, or you feel negative or sad, or angry, you are getting a message to change.

Your Heart Knows Things Your Mind Cant Explain

If everything were okay you wouldn’t feel discomfort. Would you? You’d feel as if everything was fine. So then discomfort IS the signal that something is amiss! Stop fighting the signal. Accept it. Seek to change the cause of the signal. Correct that and continue.

This is wonderful. The good news is you have a system that signals you when you need to make a change. Learn to recognize when you are being signaled. You are being called to action. Your non-conscious self is alerting you so you can make adjustments.

Hooray, celebrate you no longer have to be stuck the way you are. You get a message delivered from your self that you need to change some things. The discomfort is alerting you so you CAN change your thinking because your thoughts determines how you feel.

Trust Your Gut It Knows What Your Head Hasn’t Figured Out

Change your thinking and your feeling and your actions change. Change your thinking for the better and get better results. That is how it works. Challenge, discomfort, struggle is really an opportunity to be and do thing differently. Do you understand?

If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got. You wouldn’t grow and evolve. Think of struggle and challenge and pain as growth spurts. Those can be uncomfortable but it IS because you are growing and evolving. Embrace change.

Embrace the discomfort and you will go through it more quickly. Accept it. Allow it. Learn whatever lesson is there for you to learn. Be glad. Feel blessed. Express gratitude. When you do you are bigger than your problems and can manage them more readily. You evolve quicker. So celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How much delight can you create today?

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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My Goodness There Is Something About You


“Remember this during a time of celebration, like Thanksgiving. More importantly, remember it each and every day you live. Celebrate it and be thankful. Daily practice is when you want to remember and validate it the most. Remind yourself each moment.

You are unique. There is no one like you. You aren’t in competition with anyone else in the universe. You are special. You are wonderful. You are marvelous. There never was nor will there be another like you. You are one of a kind. Accept, love and embrace yourself.

Accept your uniqueness. Allow it. You are a special offering. Your competition isn’t others it is with yourself. Be better tomorrow than you were today. Evolve. Improve. Get better. Live fuller and happier in each moment. Thrive. Take time to nurture and develop yourself.

Thanksgiving Could Be More Than A Yearly Event – Practice Daily

Develop yourself. Become the best you, you can become. There is no limit. There is only possibility and potential. Fill your mind with the best, the most positive and wonderful thoughts. Bask in the most glorious feelings. Help yourself and help others. Go the extra mile.

Your choices and your actions can lead to positive results. Make tomorrow a better day for you and others. You are here for a positive reason. Discover what that reason is and fulfill it. Be filled with joy, and peace and light. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a beautiful day!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You

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“When it comes to personal change most of the programs offering advice and solutions won’t tell you precisely what you need to know. They leave it out. Later, they tell you, if you are having difficulty making the program work, here is why, this is what you now must do. In the next few posts I will cover this topic area and more. Part 1.

It’s more honest and ethical to tell you what is required of you up front than to hook you, reel you in and then tell you, it is your fault it isn’t working. I don’t like that. However, it is useful to capture the imagination of people so they begin the journey otherwise they may not. BUT do tell them what it involves.

Many programs make it seem as if someone or something is going to help you from the outside. The ‘Secret’ will rescue you. Help will flow your way once you learn it. Well, learning it IS fine, but that actually is not enough. One, you must become it not simply learn it. Two, you are responsible for making it work nothing, no on else is.

Be Positive – Stay Positive – You Can Do It

If that sounds like bad news consider this post tough life. I want to tell you how it is. I don’t want to fill you with fluff or mislead you. Personal change and development is not magic. Yes, sometimes it can seem that way but the bottom line  there is a lot of work to do. Many people leave this out. There is work to do! Get over it.

Those who succeed are those who will do it. BUT few will. Many will begin but not follow through and actually accomplish much. Just as most self help books aren’t read past the first chapter most people, will begin, as they do on January 1, working on new resolutions only to abandon them some short time later. Fewer continue on.

Please, don’t be daunted by this, resolve to make a difference for yourself instead of being one of the many who drop out. Promise yourself to stick with it no matter what. Find a way to do just enough to make it possible. Stay with it and don’t overwhelm yourself with too much at one time. Drop by drop the tub fills. Be one of the few!

Drop by Drop – Bite By Bite – Step By Step

There is a lot of work. You are working on yourself to overcome chronic, old negative patterns and habits. You are working on yourself to get out of your comfort zone and overcome inertia, the tendency to do nothing. You are working to change your thoughts, feelings and actions so you can get better results and enjoy more.

You must decide to be in it for the long haul. You must dive in the pool and immerse yourself and not just dip your toes in. At times it will be easy at other times more difficult. That is how it is! It gets easier the more often you engage in the process and the longer you do it just as everything does. All things are difficult at first.

Remember, learning to read and write. There was a lot of effort involved up front. Was it worth it to you? You do it now without thinking about the process. Was it worth it to learn to ride a bike or drive a car? Now it is a reliable, easy habit. In order to make these abilities automatic you had to stick with them and repeat them.

The More We Do – The More We Can Do

You didn’t learn nor acquire the skills overnight and no one tapped you on the head and gave them to you without you applying yourself. In order for your life to be changed for the better you will have to change some things in your life. You will need to engage, and practice, and practice enough until you become it. You become it!

Learning to play the piano can be difficult at first, as is juggling, mathematics, speaking a new language, playing basketball, swimming, sitting up as an infant, crawling, walking and feeding oneself. Everything we NOW do we learned to do. We learned bathroom habits, hygiene and how to dress. Everything!

Consider this: as an infant you were far more tenacious than you may be right now. If you didn’t keep doing until you succeeded you would never have sat up and walked. You’d have starved had you not learned to feed yourself. BUT you never quit. You did everything you needed to in order to succeed. As an infant you were amazing!

Whatever We Want To Do With Ease – We First Do With Diligence

Growing up with others you LEARNED to give up. You LEARNED things were tough. You were TOLD you may not have it in you or you may not amount to anything. Blah, Blah. YOU BELIEVED THEM. You had already achieved so much and demonstrated you could learn to do incredible things, yet, you were influenced by others.

You may have been told you couldn’t learn well, you had a disability. We all got negative messages from well intending people. We modeled out attitudes we learned from watching others and concluded they were right when things got tougher. We tried three times and quit because that’s what we LEARNED to growing up.

Everything you do you have LEARNED to do, well or not, right or wrong. Yet, some people tell others they have learning disabilities. They don’t, barring neurological impairment. What they LEARN from others is HOW TO be disabled, how to make things tough, how to give up. This is what you also learn. You LEARN from messages.

If You Really Want To Do Something – You Will Find A Way

So be willing to work at it and do whatever it takes for as long as it takes and you will do fine. Only, afterwards, but, perhaps along the way, it will become worth it for you. At some point you will look back and notice how far you traveled and feel wonderful about it. It WILL  be worth it. Hang in there. Commit! Do it as that infant did it.

Those who begin and keep going eventually get there. Though the journey may be difficult at times, those who persist arrive. Those who quit don’t. Far fewer get there than the number who start. That is just the way it is. You and I need to decide which statistic we will be. Will we finish or will we abandon? It is up to each of us! Decide.

More in the next post. As always please feel free to ask questions and leave comments. Share these words with others who may benefit. AND Always, no matter what, find a way to enjoy the journey. Night and day are part of the same 24 hour cycle. Life is meant to live and enjoy. Sometimes it is hot, sometimes cold. Sometimes tough sometimes easy. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Look and enjoy the good things you can discover!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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The Secret: You Must Push Through Limitations To Success

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“There are many things that separate those who are successful from those who are not. That separate those who can do from those who can’t. AND those who do from those who don’t. There is something you can learn to do that will give you the edge and help bring you the successes you want. It isn’t easy at first but it is worth doing!

Today, do something you have been putting off. Do something you don’t want to do that would be good for you. Perhaps, it means cleaning your office or your home. Writing a paper of report that you have been dreading. Going to the gym. Eating right. Whatever it might be make it a point of not putting it off any longer.

It never helps to procrastinate. Typically, it just only adds pressure until we no longer feel we can go without getting it done, so we  give in and do it. If, instead, you take care of it, in  addition to decreasing stress, you do something valuable. You took charge. You dictated the circumstances instead of letting circumstances dictate you.

What We Want To Do With Ease We Must First Do With Diligence

This point should not be lost on you! When you dictate the circumstances you come from a place of your own power and authority. You put yourself in the driver’s seat. This is what successful entrepreneurs do. They are in charge and they make things happen. Isn’t that preferable to things controlling you?

When you do something you don’t want to do, when you push past your own limits and excuses and reasons for not getting it done you become a leader of yourself. You do it anyway. You are larger than the task. When you behave this way routinely, with this mindset you develop habits that help make you unstoppable and successful.

It means you make a commitment to yourself and follow through. It is important to keep your word to others and yourself. You learn to push through resistance and you learn to persist. Olympic  athletes train when they don’t feel like.  Can you imagine wanting to get up and train really hard, really early, day in and day out?

The More We Do The More We Can Do

Go beyond what stops you. Troops in basic training may not feel like getting up for roll call but they have external pressures to insure they do. Athletes going for the gold need to rely on their own internal means for training when they don’t feel like it. Motivation comes from action not by waiting for it.

Those who are successful do things those who aren’t will never do. They don’t fear work. The go the extra mile when others quit. They don’t let their emotions stop them from getting closer to their goals. They are driven. You can learn how to push through your limitations only by pushing through your limitations.

The more you do the more you can do. It gets easier once you start. Perhaps, you are one of those people who have to learn that starting is 80% of getting it completed. In the past, you looked at that task and talked or felt your way out of not doing it. Learn how to talk and feel your way into doing it. That would be immensely beneficial!

Develop Habits That Breed Success

You and I need to use our our own internal motivation and rewards to act. We need to learn to do it in spite of our best reasons for not. We need to learn to not listen to our excuses and start listening to all the reasons we should complete our tasks. Then we will have learned to keep going in spite of the odds and challenges.

We will keep going when we otherwise might have felt like throwing in the towel. We will have learned how to dedicate ourselves, commit to our goals and tasks and persist, until we achieve what we want to achieve. When you complete the task notice how you feel. I bet you feel pretty good and maybe even proud of yourself.

That makes it worth it too. You want to spend more time feeling good. When it comes to positive thinking there may be times you don’t feel like it but you persist anyway because you know it is best for you. As you develop the habits to take care of things ‘anyway’, in spite of inner resistance you are truly becoming a victor.

When you complete the task notice what you feel. Notice how you feel. If you feel good about it that is part of the reward you get for acting in your own behalf. Savor the feeling and appreciate yourself. Notice what you learned about accomplishing your task. You did it. Acknowledge and validate! Then take time to feel glad and celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

Celebrate the day and that you are in it!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Time Is Not The Enemy But Your Friend

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“You have changes you want to make in your career or your life. Perhaps, you are going through difficult times. You want relief. You have developed a better attitude and are moving in the right direction. Only it doesn’t seem fast enough, right?

Some people who learn about Intentional Creation, Positive Thinking, or the Law of Attraction give it a try and if they don’t get immediate success decide whatever they are doing isn’t working and abandon it. They want improvement overnight.

Instead of hanging in there they claim whatever they tried didn’t work, or at least not for them. No one can estimate the time it will take for you, because no one else is you. I can’t tell you how well, or even if, you actually apply the principles.

The More We Do The More We Can Do

My assessment of you doesn’t matter. Next concept. It takes whatever time it takes for a seed to grow and to flower. I’m sure you already understand this. Everything takes some time. Why is the question? One answer is because it does. Get over it already.

Another is, you actually wouldn’t be happy with immediate manifestation because it would work both ways. Instant success or failure depending on what your predominantly thinking. So that is why it takes some time to manifest. Be thankful in this regard.

I think there is a much better reason. Not because anyone ordains it the answer, but it just seems to work this way. The reason things take time is so that you can get to be better. The reason things take time is so it is attributable to YOUR efforts and not luck or accident.

Time Shows Us What Really Matters

Things don’t manifest right away to give you practice. Time allows you to develop good habits. You can build the habit of right thinking. Otherwise, you would think it is luck and you don’t benefit from luck. You greatest benefit is from truly conditioning your mind.

Once you condition your mind, once you learn how to control your thinking then anything can be yours. You become more powerful, and wise through experience BECAUSE things take time. You evolve and develop your attitude, abilities and talents. You improve!

The more we do the more we can do is one of my favorite sayings. Things take time so we can grow and develop our skills to become more of whomever and whatever we want to be. We learn the nuance of great power and deliberate attention and control.

The Way We Spend Our Time Defines Who We Are

When things don’t work out fast I accept, perhaps, I need to learn more patience while pursuing my goal. The two concepts are not mutually exclusive. One can be patient and continue to act in one’s behalf. Some people haven’t learned this. Maybe, it is time to.

When things are troublesome or downright tough, perhaps, we learn persistence or the ability to be joyful anyway. When money is tight and debt looms we learn to think and focus on abundance instead. We learn concentration and where and how to focus our energy.

I am not saying there is a god or design to this. There very well may be, but that part doesn’t matter for my explanation. It is through trials we become stronger and well seasoned. We get more back than we could ever imagine. So, I say bring it! I want to learn.

Time Teaches Us How To Live

We learn patience, faith and trust and much more when things take longer. If it is wham, bam, thank you… it just isn’t as satisfying in the long run. Immediate results don’t always benefit us overall. We live life while waiting for actual seeds to sprout. That applies here too.

While we wait and see things through, life continues. We continue to exercise out focus to keep our attention on what we want even when it doesn’t seem to be happening. We build so many character muscles this way. We can improve in so many different dimensions.

I want to improve. I want to get better at what I have learned to do. I want mastery not accidental results. I want to learn to stick it out and make it happen and live the utmost! I don’t merely want to escape what is, if I don’t it. I want to rule what is. Don’y you?

You Are Where Your Thoughts Have Brought You

I have noticed that I am better off and far more happier because things didn’t manifest how or when I had hoped. I have become aware that I am far more delighted and well off because I went through some tough or long times without a quick remedy.

I have learned to be happy without regard to what is going on. Things can be tough or easy and that doesn’t change my happiness. It isn’t acquisition of money, things or people that make me happy but since I am happy I seem to be able to acquire and appreciate those even more. Happiness first is what time has helped me to be.

Time is not the enemy some people think it is. It can be a wonderful and useful friend. Learn to embrace it. Lean to embrace all things and life becomes much more wonderful. Time gives you more opportunities than you can even imagine. Become aware. Seek and you will find them. Meanwhile, celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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What You Need To Know About Negativity And Depression

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“Do you sometimes feel change is hard? Have you felt overwhelmed at times? We all go through it at different points in our life.  Someone who read my blog elsewhere reached out saying ‘great post’ and ‘thanks’. He then described some personal history and how he worked hard to make changes. I thought I’d share my reply.

‘Thanks for speaking out. Yes, I agree there is a way to use doubts fears and negative feelings. The best way is as an alert signal that let’s us know something is amiss with our thinking and that we need to change it.

We need to re-aim it so we think and feel better. So whenever we feel less than glorious that is the body’s way of saying ‘hey change your thinking. stop thinking about what you don’t want and begin to think positive!’

If we were always contented with love and non-critical we would probably never change. Why would we if we are always satisfied. So dissatisfaction has a place too. The trick is learning to be dissatisfied without being cruel to ourselves or others.

To love and nourish, to nurture ourselves when times are good and not so good is important. It has been reported for sometime now, by researchers, that too much right brain activity may be the cause of depressive feelings.

Many artists, of all types, display right brained dominance or that tendency. Happiness is mostly a left brain function. It is literally what we say to our self and how we say it. The words and the tone. The left hemisphere is the seat of our ability to understand and speak language.

How we talk to ourselves is important. Unfortunately, many of us, have made less than glorious self-talk a habit. This does result in feeling less than glorious too. Monitoring and changing what we say is important to be able to change and feel better.

It is is a conditioning process. It requires mental exercise or practice similar to physical exercise or practice. That means replacing a bad chronic habit with a better, more productive habit.That takes effort but it can be done.

It takes consistent effort and dedication. It is simple but not always easy. Similar to exercise you have to do it repeatedly, for long enough, before you begin to see results and then keep doing it to further develop and then maintain the results.

A lot of people don’t realize how truly wonderful they are. They don’t appreciate how strong they are or how much they have already overcome. They should fully appreciate themselves for it.

I believe credit where credit is due. If you make a mistake, own up and at the same time forgive yourself. A mistake is just a mistake. Take it easy. Be gentle and compassionate. Never critical or harsh.

Anyone who suffers or has suffered from negativity and reports on it is already a winner! It means somewhere inside the person there is more than enough resourcefulness to get through it. There is a very strong and resourceful person to make it through the tough times.

This is great when you think about it! EVEN thought times have been incredibly difficult the person has been victorious. I hope that you, and others realize that. When you over come difficult times pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a hug and some praise.

If you attempted to overcome some difficulties but didn’t do so well at the time, give yourself a hug and some praise for trying. Encourage and nurture yourself along. This is very important. Say nice things to yourself. Make this a a habit.

The brain is very adaptable and can and will make changes. It may have wired in some old negative programming, depressive thoughts, anxious or fearful thoughts in the past, but those can be changed. They really can be changed. We don’t have to be held captive by the past or by our conditioning or by our genes.

Science has made some great strides forward. It takes time for the word to disseminate before enough people actually understand what the updates are. Research in neuroscience actually does point out that it is really true.

If you choose to think different thoughts, positive thoughts, even though it may seem tough, it is a choice you can make and force if you have to, it will make a large positive difference in time.You must do it again and again, by sheer force if necessary, as much as you can.

Think happy, positive, optimistic changes and you will re-wire the brain for more happiness. The brain is adaptable and responsive to this. Think happy thoughts speak happy thoughts. The reason most people don’t is because can be tough, or at least seems like it is.

Your brain can be re-wired! Talk to yourself nicely, all the time, that is the major way to start. Create nice supportive, positive self-talk and enjoy and celebrate everything. You have been victorious through difficult times.

As someone who is a victor, you can continue to move forward. While difficult at first it can get easier through time if you know what to do and then actually do it. People need to know that it IS possible to learn the knack of transforming less than glorious times more easily than they might think.

You have already done it. Be sure to take inventory of your talents, skills, abilities and resourcefulness in doing this. Appreciate yourself for accomplishing this. Add to it if you wish but know that you proven to yourself that YOU are able. I think that is marvelous.

Thanks for commenting and all the best wishes! Stay in touch if you like.'” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!