“We are discussing how to get past chronic prior bad conditioning, habits, and move into positive new ways of being, freer and more resourceful. This blog is continued from the last. I share a couple approaches from the many participants engage in during workshops.
You can take two vantage points. One is you see yourself in your mental movie. You watch as if you are an actor on the movie screen performing the actions. You watch yourself before and after the trigger. You see yourself, the trigger the stop, calm and continue.
You view YOU behaving resourcefully. In this disassociated way of seeing you can act as a movie director would and make your mental movie screen more compelling by playing with the color, size of image, sound and other elements which contribute to your feelings.
We Are What We Repeatedly Do
The other way is to see what you would be seeing through your own eyes. You don’t see yourself but you see the world around you. You see the other cars and drivers, the world from your point of view. You see what you see as you do in everyday life looking forward.
Rehearse success from each vantage point. When you watch yourself going through it you would have the feelings a movie audience member would have watching a character go through the circumstances. Do you understand? You can ask questions of me.
Use comments and I’ll answer as best I can. In the other vantage point, looking through your own eyes, you’d feel how you feel actually going through it. Since it is rehearsal you may not feel all of it but you’d feel what it is like to some degree. Feel it fully.
Break Bad Habits And Make Better Ones
In this process you change what happens when you get triggered to react less than gloriously. In the movie screen version you watch yourself stop and then behave differently. In the through your eyes version you experience the trigger, feel it and alter it. Get it?
The instant you become aware that you are feeling or thinking or behaving less than gloriously you must STOP! Pause and choose to behave differently. Behave as you prefer to behave. In repeating the mental exercise again and again you are rehearsing what you WANT.
Stop mentally rehearsing what you do NOT want. That is how you have been living and getting what you don’t want. Focus on what you DO want. Is it difficult to change the old habit? Of course, habits can be tough to break at first.
Small Daily Improvements Are The Key To Great Results
To break it you bring awareness to the moment; become aware of what sets it off. It may seem difficult to do at first trying to notice the moment prior to reacting less than gloriously. It is likely you will blow through it many times but keep at it.
Eventually, you will notice sooner. You will get quicker at it. Your awareness will increase and you will be able to slip into that gap and divert the energy. No one can say how soon this will happen so you have to commit to sticking with it. Don’t give up keep at it.
Eventually, you will gain the upper hand. Mastery of anything, any skill, talent, behavior takes application, attention and practice. Repeated, correctly over a long enough period of time is how skills are developed. Even getting angry at traffic is a learned response.
Drop By Drop The Tub Fills – Awareness Is The Key To Change
In this process you learn to bring awareness to the trigger prior to being flooded with neuro-chemicals and impulses. As soon as you are aware of the changes you stop and take that deep breath interrupting the pattern you originally learned.
Interrupt it enough. Divert it with useful behavior you’d prefer to engage in and soon you will have developed new habits. It may take a little time so be patient. The more committed your are to learning the new behaviors the easier and quicker they will take hold.
Appreciate the process. I am sharing one of a number of approaches you can utilize to make changes. As always practice gratitude and positivity. Fill your life with celebration. Enjoy the process because you can make some powerful changes. Enjoy celebration and celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes
What will you do to have a glorious day?
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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2 thoughts on “How To Get The Upper Hand On Bad Decisions PT 2”
Thanks in advance for this post! I have a question about the two vantage points you referred. Should we use both vantage points for the same habit we want to change or just using one is enough?
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You can absolutely use both. Different perspectives. In the movie scene you see yourself looking and behaving resourcefully as you would if you watched a video. In the personal point of view, looking out through your own eyes, you see the world from your perspective, while feeling resourceful and hearing your internal self talk supporting you.
You make the adjustments in either case to be maximally supportive and appealing. Feeling the new behaviors and running thorough them from your point of view (POV) is how you would do it in everyday life.
Great question. Thanks for asking – stay in touch! All the best.