“Are there people in your life getting along with seems impossible? Would you like to help them understand you better? Do you argue more than you want to? Would you like to be more influential? Want to more easily and readily get others to do what you want? Do you?
The goal of communication is understanding. Most of us think it is only to inform. We inform each other of our intentions or what is going on. We think, since we ‘communicated’ or spoke our thought or piece the other should understand and respond appropriately.
Good communication is more than telling the other person what ‘is’. Good communicating involves delivering the message in the manner the intended recipient can understand it. You make certain it is well understood, clarify it as necessary and listen openly all the while.
Communication’s Biggest Problem – The Illusion It’s Taken Place
If it is not understood the sender must adjust the message until the receiver ‘gets it’. This means being flexible and having more than only one way to speak or communicate ideas. This means communicating the way the receiver is used to getting messages.
It doesn’t mean getting angry, raising our voice, yelling at or name calling the listener ‘stupid’ because the person doesn’t understand. It means attempting to help the receiver understand by being respectful and helpful. This is where the Platinum Rule comes in.
The Golden Rule is marvelous! It should always be applied. ‘Do unto others the way you prefer to have things done unto you.’ That is a guideline for not mistreating others. Think about your preferences and don’t do less for other people. It is a wonderful rule to follow.
The Most Important Thing In Is To Hear What The Other Is Saying
Go The Extra Mile is another fantastic principle that states don’t just do the job but go above and beyond what is called for. Deliver more value than any one else. Blow their socks off by doing more than they expect. This is another wonderful rule to practice daily in all.
The Platinum Rule states ‘Do unto others the way they prefer to be done unto’. In other words do it their way. Do it the way they like. Do it the way they are used to. This is important especially when communicating. Help them understand by speaking their language.
If someone speaks another language than you speak, if you really want understanding, then attempt to speak in their language. They don’t understand yours. Don’t make them try. You speak theirs. You are delivering the message help them understand. Get it. Go first!
Good Communication Means Respecting Yourself And Others
It doesn’t help to raise your voice. It doesn’t help to get frustrated or mad or blame them because they don’t understand the language you are speaking. It doesn’t help to ridicule or give up. It helps if you adjust and attempt to phrase it meaningfully for them.
Speak their language! Adjust and continue. Continue to adjust until you get the desired results. Adjust and continue until they understand. Don’t berate them. Be patient. Allow them their misunderstanding. After all they are trying to understand YOU!
In a few series of upcoming posts we will explore how to better and more easily communicate. If you want friends, co-workers, lovers and even strangers to better and more easily understand you, and get along with you, then it is worth learning to communicate better.
Listen More – Speak Less – Seek To Find Out Their Point Of View
The more you are able to express yourself the more you are apt to get agreement. The more agreement you get the easier and the more people you are able to positively influence. The better the understanding the greater the harmony and the relationships.
Enjoy and delight the opportunity we have to share ideas. Be grateful you have a means to do that. Appreciate that you have people in your life willing to listen and even ‘put up’ with you. Recognize how blessed you are to share with others. Learn, laugh, love and live! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
Celebrate friends today!
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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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