Category Archives: Communicating

AUDIO LINK: All Communication Starts With You!

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“All communication starts with you. Go First! Transform your relationships and that includes your relationship with you. Go the extra mile while communicating with others. Discover what is important to your listener? Keep your commitments and win!

Today’s blog is an audio blog.  Listen, learn and enjoy!

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Celebrate Everything!” Rex Sikes

PS I am here to help you live the life you deserve to live!

This amazing audio helps you make the changes you want to make. The very last self-improvement audio you may ever need! Download it here today! Watch the video and discover how this can help you!

Click Here To Get And Download The Attitude Activator

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All Communication Start With You

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All Communication Starts With You!

“All communication starts with you. Go First! Transform your relationships and that includes your relationship with you. Go the extra mile while communicating with others. Discover what is important to your listener? Keep your commitments and win!

Today’s blog is an audio blog.  Listen, learn and enjoy!

Celebrate Everything!” Rex Sikes

PS I am here to help you live the life you deserve to live!

This amazing audio helps you make the changes you want to make. The very last self-improvement audio you may ever need! Download it here today! Watch the video and discover how this can help you!

Click Here To Get And Download The Attitude Activator

Royalty free, public domain photo used

How To Better Respond To Others

“Sometimes we have difficulty with the people we love most.  Other times, we come up against friends, bosses, employees, co-workers and even strangers. Wouldn’t it be nice to more effectively communicate, love and support to these important people?

An important way to effectively respond to others is to learn to effectively respond to yourself! You can learn to respond to yourself with empathy, love, respect, caring, and honesty. You can do so even when you are confused, angry, resentful, worried, and fearful.

Put yourself in the hands of a higher power. Whether that is your inner wisdom, infinite intelligence or the god you have a relationship with. Trust your source, based on whatever your positive beliefs are. Surrender, and learn to be gentle with you. Learn to understand.

Mirrors Are There So We Can See What Needs To Be Changed

We all have imperfections. If we can better accept and love ourselves, we can better love and accept others. If we can understand we have imperfections and accept that, we can accept that in others, too. Stop hurting yourself. Stop hurting others. Get it?

Appreciate yourself, your imperfections. Realize these are there for you to learn from and transform. Everything is a blessing when you recognize the positive opportunities within even the most difficult or dire situation. All is good. Everything big and small is a blessing.

Even your imperfections and those of others. Love it all. Accept it all. You will immediately begin to transform, in incredible and dynamic ways, when you learn to be grateful and celebrate all of it. So, do it. Thank yourself. Thank your higher power. Surrender, trust and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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You Lose If You Aren’t Speaking Their Language They Won’t Understand!

“Is there something that converts a person’s “no” to a yes? If you could begin to get more yes’s in work and play, with associates, clients, family and friends, would it be worth it to you? Would you want to learn how to increase your ‘sales’ up to 300%? Well?

We need to learn and understand what is important to the people we are attempting to influence so we can sell them our ideas, products and services. This is true whether it is a friend or loved one we are attempting to convince, or a stranger and business associate.

If we have something, that truly meets their needs, but they can buy from anyone else, then we must learn to offer it, in such a way, that it aligns with their values. Then it is important to them. When we understand why they buy, then we can more easily sell.

The Reality Is We Are All In Sales We Sell Our Kids And Strangers

We appeal to what THEY want, not what we need. We need to know what is important to them, what their values are. We must know how to align with their values to deliver our product or service the way they prefer. The Platinum Rule really applies here.

Are you familiar with the Platinum Rule?  It states ‘do to others the way they prefer to have it done’. Do it their way, not your way! When we sell how we think others buy, we lose so much time and money. They buy because of why THEY buy! Their reasons, not ours.

We need to sell. They may need to buy. It comes down to whether they buy from you or from someone else. Bottom line, all things being equal, they will buy from the person they like and trust most and understand the easiest. Get it? Get that and you win more!

Everything In Life Is A Sale Everything You Want Is A Commission

You become more likable when you speak their language. You create rapport and connection when you adjust to them instead of requiring, or forcing, them to adjust to you. No template works for everyone. Learning to be flexible increases your batting average.

The more languages you speak the more people you can easily connect with and influence. They understand you because you can talk to them with words they understand. All of us have our own language. We have our own BUYING language! Learn theirs!

If you only sell from your language you will miss out on lots of people. Get it? AS sales people, or positive influencers, or people helpers who want to assist others in making good decisions, we NEED to learn how to communicate the way others buy. Get it?

Listen And Learn Are You Speaking Your Customer’s Language

We stop pushing our style on them and adapt to theirs, all the while maintaining our integrity. You are still the same person whether you speak English, Greek or Spanish. You still need to remain ethical when you have a wonderfully powerful way to connect with others.

So assuming you are a trustworthy, upright, honest person of the highest integrity, you owe it to yourself to learn how to communicate with maximum, positive effect, so you can maximally, and positively affect your clients, customers and consumers.

Learn why they buy so they can buy what you have! Learn it so you can support them with excellent customer service. Keep them as a source of revenue and referrals for ever!  You want to communicate well for your children, parents, friends and everyone else, too!

Old Ways Won’t Open New Doors – Learn A New Way To Be

Soon, I will share with you this powerful system for getting more yeses! You will learn to speak the language of the person you are communicating with. I’ll I share a 90 minute webinar that you will want to watch all the way through to the end. Make time for it.

I’ll introduce you to a good friend and mentor of mine. Together we’ll share the secrets, the science and the system for unlocking another person’s buying behavior to skyrocket your closing ration up to 300%. You will love learning this. I mean it. I love it. You will too!

I am thrilled to share this with you. I realized years ago if I didn’t speak the language of my customer, or anyone, I was attempting to influence then I not respecting them. I was losing out! You want deep lasting, trusting, positive connections. Don’t you?

The Ability To Sell Is The Number One Skill In Business 

Learn to become the best. Stop collecting ‘no’s’ start collectin yes’s. Stop losing out on money and start making more. Start adding more value to all the people you communicate with.I’ll share it soon! Stay tuned! Meanwhile Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control And You Can Master Anything!

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Once They Hear Me How Do I Keep Them Listening?

“Is knowing why they buy, everything you need to know in order to sell more? Yes and no. It ‘s damn close. Nearly everything, BUT what else do you need? Think about it for a second? You need the goods. You need to be able to deliver something OF value. Understand this!

You want repeat business! You want to sell your film, the real estate, the electronics, the make-up, the food snacks to repeat customers or consumers. You don’t always want to be looking for new leads. So while you may be able to sell swamp land, you had better not.

Knowing why they buy may make them vulnerable but it doesn’t make them stupid. You burn a potential life long customer and business partner, you hurt yourself, perhaps more, than you ever hurt them. Don’t hurt either. Respect them. Respect  their time!

Speak With Honesty – Think With Sincerity – Act With Integrity

Deliver on your promise. Be exemplary! Have the best product to offer. We all know you think you do already, but DO YOU? This is where the rubber meets the road. Have a product worth buying or investing in. Then offer it to them, the way they want it offered.

Don’t burn them and run. Your reputation will suffer near and far. Be ethical, honest, loyal, reliable, respectful and deliver on your promises. Keep your commitments. Never make excuses or blame. Own up to your mistakes. Take 100% responsibility and THEN…

Then if you do these things AND you take the time to learn why they buy, what their values are, and what they want or need, you can align your product or service with what is important to them. You provide solutions. You help them solve problems. You become a hero.

When You Make A Commitment You Build Hope …

Isn’t that what you want? You want to have them like and appreciate you, your product and service, so much they continue on with you for a lifetime. Plus, they refer you to all their associates and friends. Isn’t this the way to get ahead in business? Stop thinking short term.

Stop thinking I got to kill it this time. Yes, do your best, but develop long term trusting relationships. Your customers, clients and consumers will reciprocate more than you can imagine when you GO FIRST!  Go the extra mile for them. AND unlock why they buy!

Then meet their criteria for purchasing or investing. Meet their criteria for doing what it is you invite them to do. Whether it is with your family and friends and personal matters, or in your professional sphere of influence, meet them where they’re at. Not where you are.

… When You Keep Your Commitment You Build Trust

Next blog I’ll share with you a powerful way to meet them where they are at. This is crucial.  There are four things you must know, ultimately, and we will get to these. Meanwhile, determine if your script, service, film, product, talent or whatever, is good enough. Also, find something to be grateful about. Then, celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control And You Can Master Anything!

I am launching my new program. I designed it specifically to help you align your mind, your goals and desires, to skyrocket your ability to create what you want. You’ll become happier, healthier and wealthier. You will overcome limitations and blocks to discover true abundance, manifest what you want and create your best life ever! Ask  about Mind Design™  and stay tuned!

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‘What’s Stopping You?’ You’ll like my gift to you! ‘What’s Stopping You’ is a life changing 22 minute audio MP3 that helps you go beyond limitations, break through and make positive things happen!Get it! It is Free!

Click Here To Watch My Latest Videos on you tube!

CLICK TO JOIN CREATING YOUR BEST LIFE ON FaceBook

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How To Solve Your Problems In Another Time Dimension

“One of the ways you can help yourself avoid future problems is by contingency planning.  You build a contingency plan by resolving the issue in future. Let’s use an example from the world of sales. Cold calling is something few people like and often abandon.

The reason for this is, even though you may be calling qualified ‘hot’ lead, the person on the other end of the phone is a stranger. That person ‘hot’, ‘warm’ or ‘cold’ frequently has requests for further information and objections. This can be difficult for the sales person.

The worst thing that can happen to a new sales person is to score big sales right out of the gate. While it is cause to celebrate and can help to increase confidence, too early of success means the salesperson doesn’t learn through trial and error experience. They learn one way.

Look Back And Smile On The Past – The Old Way Led To The New

They repeat the way that worked again and again. This results in hit or miss. Often, their sales, sadly, diminish. They can’t figure out what went wrong since they started off so well. Had they had some trials and tribulations they’d have learned multiple ways to sell.

So what you can do is visualize the sales call by phone or in person. See it going well. Fantastic. See yourself and the client or customer getting along and having great rapport. Imagine them and hear them say they will buy. Awesome, you made the sale. Anchor it.

Enjoy the feeling of success! Now, run scenarios in which each time you attempt to sell they come up with an excuse or objection. Watch and listen to how you overcome the objection. Imagine maintaining rapport and leading the client to a sale.

Stop Repeating Mistakes – Make New Ones – Fail Forward

Pick more and more difficult objections to resolve. Run scenario after scenario in your mind. Each time see yourself remain confident and resourceful while handling the objections satisfactorally.  Rehearse succeeding at overcoming any number of objections.

This is a good use of your mental skills. You imagine success. Then you imagine failure and how you overcome it. What do you think, say, and do that makes the difference? You can also role play with partners in real life. Here is another suggestion. The phone call.

You call. Introduce why you are there and they say not interested and hang up. OR they just hang up! How do you manage to make the next number of calls. Imagine yourself getting told ‘no’ and getting hung up on. Imagine yourself remaining resourceful. Feel it.

The Difference Between Ordinary And Extraordinary Is Practice

Feel resourceful. Every ‘no’ you imagine, let it make you more determined, more thrilled, more optimistic, more resourceful. What happens in real time is people get deflated. Find a way to take the ‘rejection’ and turn it into a positive resource that fuels you.

If you see yourself defeated in your mind you will be. That is what happens in real time. You can help prevent it by practicing in advance handling the tough times. Act as if you are resourceful and positive and can keep going. Rehearse maintaining these feelings.

Many people don’t include contingency planning in their visualizations and it is important. Imagine the obstacles and how you overcome them.  Also keep in mind whenever you have any difficulty that there is a time in the future when it won’t matter.

To Enjoy Success You Must Travel In Advance Of The World

There is a time coming, when what is happening now won’t matter any more.. At that time you can look back and see how the present less than glorious situation contributed to you, and benefited you in the long run.

It didn’t limit you though it may have seemed to at the time. Learn to appreciate these moments. Be grateful. Know that there are always plenty of opportunities if we remain open. Problems and rejection, hard times and obstacles all help us grow through experience. Without it we aren’t nearly as resourceful. Be thankful if success doesn’t happen too quickly. Learn, rehearse, make good habits and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Click To Read Article: Why Visualization Doesn’t Work

Take it easy on yourself today!

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How To Speak And Write More Powerfully And Persuasively

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I posted this previously, some time ago. However, it is useful to know and apply so I post it again. Study it and use it. Go deeper and learn more and your effectiveness will grow and grow. When you learn how to direct your own mind you become its master. Enjoy! Enjoy!

The following article I wrote for Joe Vitale long before he appeared in The Secret. It is based on my work from the 1980’s onward. The article is formatted as it was for Joe’s site and includes date and copyright. Truly, learn from this and master it. Benefits are great!

You may notice many things from this article that are common place today. They weren’t so common place back in the 80’s 90’s and early 21st Century. Much of my work is now widely used in other’s books and programs all around the world. This pleases me to no end. I’m glad to be able to help! The work made its way near and far.

Some even showed up in some popular movies. See if you can spot or recognize a particular reference from a wildly popular film.

How Questions Can Make Your Writing More Hypnotic  Article by Rex Steven Sikes

Did you know there are actually three languages inside the English language? That’s right, at least three!

There is the language of pictures or how things appear, how we see or view them in our mind as well as out there in the real world.

Second, there is the language of sounds or what we say to ourselves and what we hear on the inside.

And third there is the language of feelings, like when something wonderful grabs hold of us and makes us feel warm and special inside.

Knowing the three languages and incorporating them into your hypnotic writing makes your appeals even more powerful. Words like “paint, picture, imagine, bright, dim, flash,” are visual words.

Words that convey sound or auditory information are words like “discuss, hear, harmony, tell, say to yourself”. And words that help us feel things are words like “warm, cold, shudder, feel, grasp, walk through, get a hold of, heart to heart”.

By spicing up your writing with these words you help others begin to imagine more clearly what you are saying because you appeal to at least three of our five senses. And that’s a tasty thing to do that will spice up your writing and make it more vivid to the people who are reading your work.

But that’s not all there is. There is something even more incredible, that directs the human mind to pay attention. Do you know what that is?

Not yet, but I have just given you some great examples. It is the power of questions. You see questions direct the mind. That is true whether you are asking a question of yourself or another person.

Perhaps you say “Yeah, who says?” See there, you just asked a question! And the incredible thing is that this is what our brains are designed to do: Ask and answer questions posed to it and find solutions and new behaviors.

Brains love questions! That’s what brains do all day log. They go in search of things they can do that make life more interesting. Your brains already know how to search for and find information. The key is learning how to use questions to direct your mind in powerful and positive ways.

The problem with most people is that they already use questions to get results they don’t want. They ask things like ‘Why do bad things always happen to me?’ or ‘How come I never do anything right?’ or ‘How come others always get ahead?’ or ‘Why am I so stupid?’

And guess what? Your brain knows exactly where to go in your personal history to find the answers. What your brain does is go on a search, and then comes back with things like ‘Well, it’s because you stuck your head in the toaster when you were four years old’, or ‘You didn’t have the right kind of teachers, or parents,’ or ‘Bad things always happen to good people’.

You see, it is automatic. Ask a question of the brain and it answers in a great variety of ways. In fact the brain keeps on working on the questions long after the answers start being delivered. You know how that is, don’t you? You certainly do if you ever experienced that critical voice that keeps ragging and nagging on you long into the night.

Would you like to find a way to end that? Would you like to be able to direct your mind in powerful, positive ways? Do you want to be more influential and positively persuasive in person—and in your writing?

The key to having more wonderful things happen within you is to help the brain help you by redirecting what it already does well. If instead of asking questions like the negative ones above, we learn to instead begin asking questions about how wonderful things are, then the brain has a positive direction to follow.

And by focusing our attention on what we want instead of what we don’t want our brains can help deliver the good things to us. There is a rule that states, ‘What you focus on you get.’ So if you are focused on negative questions and negative things, the brain goes “okay I can deliver that”.

The brain isn’t biased. Good or bad, it just does what it knows. So we need to grab hold of it and utilize it to our advantage by redirecting it and then letting it run.

For example, you ask this instead: ‘I wonder how soon before I begin to realize how talented I am?’ or ‘I wonder how quickly I can realize how fortunate I am?’ or ‘How delighted will I be to discover my powers of persuasion increasing rapidly?’

You see, when you direct your mind to what you want, your brain says, ‘I don’t know the answer but I’ll go and find out.’ And that is the key! You ask a question which sends your brain in the direction of what is positive that you want to have, but to which you don’t know the answer yet.

If you are familiar at all with powerful hypnotic languaging, you will already notice the kinds of useful hypnotic language patterns I use in these questions. If not, well then be happy there is more for you to learn which will help improve what you do.

The incredible thing is your brain already knows exactly what to do. For example, if I ask you “Where did you get the shirt you are wearing as you read this?” Your brain probably knows what store, when, where, or that it was a gift. It won’t answer me by telling me you were abducted by aliens when you were a teenager or some other kind of frivolous answer.

It knows how to go after the class of information you present it with. And realize that I directed your mind with a question to the kind of information I was after. If others were listening to us as we spoke, their minds would be directed to where you got your shirt, as well. This is powerful to know although it may seem obvious.

So the key for your own personal improvement is asking yourself questions which lead your mind in useful directions. If you want positive results, you ask something like ‘How soon can I begin to discover the wonderful results I am already getting? And as I begin to notice those how many more can I discover that delight and amaze me?’ You would do the same if you were talking to, or writing to, another person.

Now let’s say you are selling another person a pen. And you ask, ‘Want to buy my pen?’ The person obviously can answer with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Because the question you asked didn’t lead to further exploration. It lead only to a single “I want it” or “I don’t.”

But notice if you ask ‘Do you know how delighted you will be when you buy my pen?’ You aren’t directly asking them to buy it. (Well, in fact you are using another hypnotic pattern known as embedded commands). You are focusing them on something they can’t yet know the answer to: And that is the amount of delight they may experience.

I call this Mental Aikido. You side-step the issue of buying by focusing them on a positive attribute of owning the pen: the delight. So they can say ‘no, I don’t know how delighted I will be,’ in which case you have a door open to go ahead and demonstrate it for them.

Or they say ‘Yes I know how delighted I will be,’ and then they go to buy it. Or they give you further information that would be necessary for you to know to go ahead and make the sale. Any which way you cut it, you now have a powerful tool in your hands to help you influence and sell. Follow?

You can influence others by directing your own brain! In fact, when you learn how to direct your own brain and use its already existing features in a user friendly way, you will enjoy more influence, power and happiness in your life. That’s because you turn your brain into a powerful ally. And you certainly would want to do that, don’t you?

While this method ofDirected Questions™ is something I teach for incredible personal power and life enhancement, I thought you might be interested in a strategy for being able to get your readers to really respond to your hypnotic writing. So here is something else you can use to really add to your hypnotic writing abilities:

These next questions are ones to ask yourself to help you become more creative and begin to be able to paint word pictures for others, so they can readily see what it is you are talking about, so that they more readily feel like going ahead with what you propose.

The brain and eyes are wired together. This means that when we move our eyes we access certain portions of our brain. When we look up we mostly access the visual portions of the brain. When we look laterally side to side or down left we mostly access the auditory portions of our brain.

When we look down to the right we mostly access the kinesthetic or feeling portions of our brain. We actually access more than just these areas but we access these areas in greater portions when we move our eyes in this manner. Hence, we can learn to move our eyes systematically to gain greater access to the wonderful information stored in our brain.

Step 1. Look up (don’t move your head, just your eyes) and say ‘What do I want to show my readers?’ ‘What is it I want them to see clearly and how can I best get them to picture that in their mind?’ Spend a few seconds entertaining that question while looking up, entertaining how you can help your reader picture in their mind what it is you want them to see.

Step 2. Now move your eyes down to the left and ask ‘What is it I want them to say to themselves as they read it?’ and ‘How best can I tell them what it is I what them to really pay attention to?’ Again spend a few seconds in your own mind entertaining how you can best help your readers say those things to themselves that you would want them to say as they read your writing.

Step 3. Now move your eyes down right and ask ‘What is it I want them to feel as the read my writing?’ and ‘How best can I get them to have these feelings?’ And spend a few moments getting a grasp of what you want them to feel as they progress through your written material.

Once you have asked those questions, now take a short break and do something else for a little while. Let your unconscious mind work on it. I used to go watch TV and get caught up in a show. But soon I would find the wheels start churning, and I would hop over to the typewriter (in those days) and begin writing. Things began to flow.

If ever I got stuck, I simply asked the questions again and took another break. Later I would go back and edit and re-write the paper to polish it. But this unlocked the creative juices in a very particular and powerful way.

You ask yourself how you can show them in your writing, tell them and get them to feel in your writing. You can additionally ask ‘What is it I really need to say to get them to buy? What do they really need to know? How can I best word my letter to really get my points across? How soon can I find the words and ideas flowing through me in a way that amazes and delights me?’

Or ask any variation of those questions that leads you to the results you want. Then take a break and let your unconscious mind go to work. But remember to come back to the project after your unconscious has had a little time to work on it for you. Often I found that once, maybe two or three times, were necessary to get it the way I really wanted it.

Remember you want your reader to be able to picture themselves using your product. You want them to imagine what it would be like to have it or to miss out on it. You want to paint vivid detail in the mind’s eye of your reader to help them to have the feelings of wanting, desire, or need for your product. Or to feel that’s enough to stop whatever they are currently doing and follow through on what your proposal is.

You want them to say ‘yes’ inside their head and hear positive sounds and voices as they read through your letter. Yeah this is great, this makes sense, wow I can do this yes. And you want them to have the feelings of desire, certainty and taking action.

You really want to take them by the hand and walk them through this process. Combine this with your other hypnotic writing skills and you become a real powerhouse.

So remember to ask the questions which direct your mind to what you want your reader to see, hear and feel. Direct your reader to what you want to be able to show them, tell them and help make them feel. You do this by using questions to direct your mind to what you need to pay attention to first in order to influence some body else.

By previewing in your mind what you need them to see, hear and say, and feel to themselves, you can begin to paint pictures with your words that will get them excited about your product or service in a way that makes them feel they have to have it.

And this truly is hypnotic, isn’t it?


Copyright Rex Steven Sikes IDEA Seminars 2000 If you’d like to learn more about directing your mind for success using Directed Questions™ and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) go to IDEA Seminars website http://www.idea-seminars.com for home study products.

It is another day. Celebrate!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Who You Are Speaks Volumes: You Can’t Hide It

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“First impressions are lasting impressions. Are you a friendly, reliable, loyal, honest, trustworthy person that people want to do business with or say yes to? What message do they get fromYOU beyond the message you are attempting to communicate? WHO are you?

It’s important you understand what you are broadcasting to others. Because who you are and what you do is what people meet first; even on the phone. It isn’t only the words you use it is quality of your voice. What does the voice sound like? What impression do we get?

You cannot not communicate. You are communicating always. Speaking or silent  the message YOU is being transmitted. Be aware of who you are and what message your are always offering. How you stand, walk, sit speaks volumes. How you look; the look in your eyes.

The Medium Is The Message – You Can’t Not Communicate

The quality of your voice. The confidence or lack of it when you speak. You can’t hide who you are so you shouldn’t try. You should develop yourself into an awesome person and presence whom people enjoy and want to be around, do things for and say yes to.

More on this later. Simply become aware of what you broadcast day and night. It may surprise you to learn. Are you broadcasting positivity or negativity; friendliness or unfriendliness; WHAT do you broadcast? Who are you? What is important to you? It all goes out!

Everyone picks up something about you. They read signals and interpret or misinterpret. What message are they getting? An easy way to be more likable is to become filled with gratitude and express it freely. Live in appreciation and become so filled it spills over to the others. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a fun day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Do You Understand You Are 100% Responsible For It All?

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“I am responsible.’  Few people want to say this. Fewer want to say it confidently. ‘You are responsible.’ Fewer people want to be told or hear this. It seems taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions is something many people want to avoid. That sucks.

We should take responsibility and be accountable. Two different things that seem similar. We own up to it and are willing to endure whatever positive or negative consequences that follow. What the many miss is there is great power in taking it all on. Very great!

Whether or not it is accurate to say we are responsible for everything that happens in our life, for our entire life, we access greater creative control over it all when we apply the principle to ourselves. We become the person who makes things happen.

When You Blame Others You Are Saying You Are Powerless

We eliminate victim mentality and exercise the ability to always have a positive next step to make more of what we want happen. We are in charge of our thoughts, feelings, actions and the results we get. While we do cooperate with others, it is still in our hands.

It is our focus, our dedicated attention, our intentions, and our own actions that create our life. Are we influenced from the outside? Yes, of course.  When we take 100% of the responsibility on us, whether it is true or not, we have the power to create whatever we want!

We don’t allow room for pity or feeling sorry for ourselves. We may need to get up and dust off after a fall but we continue to move forward optimistically even when disappointed. We eliminate excuses,  blaming ourselves or others, all accusing and negativity.

If You Don’t Like Something Change It Or Change Your Attitude

When we think positive, accept the responsibility, stop whining and keep forward momentum we can make nearly anything happen. Our mindset is strong, positive and firm. We are committed to correcting when necessary, adjusting and moving on. We create or find a way.

We don’t stop because the going gets hard. Nor do we make others responsible for our feelings or the results we get. We keep the power instead of giving it away. When it comes to communicating or working with others we realize it is up to us to help create rapport.

It is up to us to help  insure the other person gets our message in a positive, useful and friendly say. The relationship should always be more important than the point you are attempting to make. Take the attitude others are in your care and you can help them understand.

Be Responsible –  It Is You Who Will Get To Where You Want To Go

Adjust your communication positively until you create the understanding necessary to move forward. Don’t blame them for not ‘getting it’ adjust and be flexible. Attempt another approach until they begin to understand. Get it? Accept responsibility.

It may not really be yours to accept but when you wear that hat, adopt that concept, live from this mindset, you can get further faster than when you don’t. Get it? Beliefs don’t have to be ‘true’ to be useful. Understand the utility of the concept not the validity of it.

Be willing to try it on and claim the power for making positive things happen. Nurture them along. Help others instead of insisting that they ‘get’ you help them to. Go First! Create a positive attitude and climate from which you live your life and communicate with others. Get along. Turn resistance into assistance. Be grateful and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take charge and do it today!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

How To Know What Is Really Important!

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“To get people to do what you want you have to appeal to who they are. People have beliefs and values that are important to them. They have rules and procedures for how to eliminate woes, and  how to best go about living in the world, succeeding and being happy.

They function by principles, rules, evidence and procedures. We may explore each of these in coming blogs but today I want to broach the subject of values. We all have values.  Some we share with others and some unique to the individuals.

Where values are shared there can be rapport. What is important to you and to me may be our bridge that brings us closer together. Unless we are both competing to fulfill those. It really isn’t much different than you like latte’s and I like latte’s. It is similar.

You’ll Find A Way If It Is Important To You If Not You’ll Find Excuse

We share something in agreement. We both agree it is important to be honest, or loyal or tolerant. Yet how we define these and apply them could vary wildly. Many couples vacation together. It is important for them to get away and spend together time.

What is important about that vacation may wildly differ between them. They could be in for a wonderful or rough time depending on what is most important to each. Whether or not they help each other fulfill what is important to them will determine their success.

For example one partner can’t wait to get away and have loads of fun. This person wants to wine and dine and dance. They want to go out and party, see the sights, meet the people and experience a grand and wild time. They can’t wait until they can let loose!

Ask What Is Really Important Then Find A Way To Deliver On That

The other partner can’t wait to get away from the rat race and relax. They want to leave the madness of the city behind. No phones, no pressures, no deadlines, no people to bother with. They just want to sitt by the water and chill out. They want to savor their time away.

Can you imagine these two may have some difficulty? Perhaps, they’d be better taking separate vacations. Many people get there and then argue that it isn’t going well as they had expected. Why? Because their expectations were never really voiced. Imagined, yes.

Had they talked it out upfront it could be much better. All they need to do is ask, what is important to you about this vacation? What do you hope it to be? What do you want to do? Then they will find out they both have separate and different desires and expectations.

Agreement In Likes And Dislikes Is The Beginning Of Rapport

They can then decided whether or not to vacation together OR how to insure that both of their needs and wants are met during the time they are together. They negotiate quiet relaxing times and wild out there party times. Then both can feel fulfilled and get along.

They help each other out by helping each other get what is important and necessary for each. They work together to make sure both are well cared for and not abused or ignored. Get it? Because they know what is important to each they can work together.

To get along easily with another person appeal to what is important to them. Look them in the eye and say, ‘what is important to you?’ What is important to you about this? What does that, or having that do for you or allow you to do? So few people ever ask. We need to.

Friendship Comes From Trust Uplifting And Valuing Each Other 

‘What is important to you about being a parent?’  ‘What is important to you about racing cars?’ ‘What is important to you about going to that school?’ ‘What is important to you about your boyfriend?’ What is important to you? Then listen and accept their answer.

For practice, whatever their answer, repeat it back to them respectfully. Don’t look at them bewildered and exclaim,  ‘WHAAAAT?  FUN?!?!? is important???’ Be respectful. Accept whatever they say. It is what IS important to them. Treat it so!

‘So fun is important? Very cool. What does having fun do for you? Their answer may reveal another value. Let’s say they said confidence. ‘Cool, so when you have fun you feel confident, or you have a sense of confidence.’ It doesn’t have to make sense to you.

Trust Comes From Understanding And Taking Positive Actions

It makes sense to them. Respect and accept that. Listen and let them know you care. You hold them in high regard. You will do whatever you can to help them fulfill their positive values. When you accept, without judging or ridiculing, you create more harmony and rapport.

You help create understanding and trust. You connect more deeply and you are getting to know each other more deeply because you are learning about what they are trying to fulfill in their life. If not their whole life at least in this topic area. It is important to them.

We have some values which permeate all areas of our life. Some might call these Core Values and we have others that are more situational. Our beliefs and rules and procedures and processes similarly can be situational or core. We will explore more later.

It’s Not Just What’s Important To Them It’s How They Fulfill That

For now, remember to ask people what is important to them. Genuinely be interested. Listen and respect their answers. Utilize what they tell you to help them fulfill their wants and needs and you will may benefit them greatly. Use it to build trust and rapport.

Your understanding of what motivates them and what challenges them will grow immensely. It will help you understand your partner in life, your parents or children, friends, co-workers, employers and employees. You will learn a lot about the people in your world.

Enjoy them. Enjoy learning. Delight in all things. Appreciate these tools you have to build bridges. Understanding what makes another person ‘tick’  bring us closer together. It helps eliminate hinderances and misunderstanding.  It allows us create win /win outcomes so we can get along and each feel fulfilled. Celebrate. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Smile more today!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch