“Letting go means dropping it. Don’t seek revenge. Seek to solve and uplift. Consider that every thing happens for a reason and this happened to serve you. It happened so you could get free. Whether ultimately, this is true doesn’t matter. It is a reframe you can use.
Consider it a blessing. An opportunity to learn from and evolve. Be thankful it happened to bring your awareness to what you might change. Accept yourself and your situation as what is. It is what it is. You either embrace it or resist it. What you resist persists.
Find the silver lining. And ask yourself are you capable of giving out some unconditional love? My guess is, an eruption or disruption stems from boundary violations, expectations, restrictions and limitations and not because we are loving unconditionally.
When You Let Go You Create Space For Something Better
When my daughter, my first, was born. I fed her. Held her. I changed her. I bathed her. She couldn’t say thanks. She couldn’t return anything. I did it because I knew it helped her feel good and met her needs. I loved being able to serve her. I remember her birth.
My first thoughts were how blessed and lucky I am. I was given this incredible gift, I thought, ‘I want to love you and accept you as much when you are 16 and telling everyone what an asshole your dad is, as I do right this moment.’ I was head over heels in love. I still am.
As an infant if she cried all night, I held her and decided I was there for the long haul. This was my opportunity. I loved being a dad. So what about when she was 16? It was much harder than I thought it would be because I now expected her to act in certain ways.
You Only Lose What You Cling To – Stop Clinging And Let Go
I loved her even more but found I placed conditions or expectations on her all the while she was growing up. I did the same with my son. I didn’t realize this was occurring until something upset the apple cart. My goal has always been to get back to unconditional love.
So whenever crap happened I had a yard stick when I became aware of my old habits and programming. Was I behaving in loving ways or exasperating the situation? Was I judging or allowing? Was I labeling or loving? Sometimes, I wasn’t loving. I had to accept and let go.
My desire, my goal, is to remember always, my children are gifts to me. Regardless of what they do or don’t do, give or don’t give, they are incredible blessings in my life that I am thankful for. It isn’t about what they do or don’t. It is about me being blessed and aware of it.
Train Yourself To Find The Blessing In Everything
Sometimes, my personal agenda causes other people pain. If I am aware, I do what I can to correct it. When I am not aware, I find I blame others. I really don’t want to do that, but sometimes I do. I prefer to take 100% responsibility and change myself instead.
It can be painful to encounter ourselves. We make mistakes. I still do. Whenever possible forgive. Ask for forgiveness, accept, embrace, and make amends. When not, forgive, ask for forgiveness, accept, embrace and learn from mistakes. Let go and improve yourself.
A few blog posts back I suggested showering yourself with unconditional love. I suggest you do that again and again. Also, do it for your loved ones, your friends, even strangers and enemies. It makes a big difference in how you go through the world. Find silver linings. Look at everything as a blessing and all of it can be. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
Be easy on yourself today!
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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