How Not To Make Yourself Or Others Wrong

“Perception is everything. What you perceive IS what is. Someone says, ‘you hurt me’.  It may or may not be accurate. You may or may not have done anything, but, if they perceive it to be the case, then that is the reality. At least, for them. However, you are included.

Thus, it is somehow the reality for you, too. Do not argue against them. Don’t  say, ‘it’s all in your head. You’re making it up. You’re crazy. That’s not true.’ Making them wrong, won’t make it right. It is what they believe the reality is. You believe otherwise.

Everybody believes what they believe. Each of us believes our experience is the truth. It may not be. Still,  that’s what we believe it is. We want to be right. We don’t want to be told that we are wrong or crazy or insane or that it’s ridiculous to believe. We hate that.

The Limits Of Your Vision Are Not The Limits Of The World

Some say, ‘I saw with my own eyes. I heard with my own ears!’ Have you ever recounted a past event with a family member, or friend, and you have completely different versions of what occurred? It’s because we recall different elements. We perceive it differently.

If someone says they were slighted by you seek to find out exactly what occurred. Discover why they feel slighted. Attempt to smooth things over through rapport,  with trust and understanding. Put yourself in their shoes. Understand where they’re coming from.

By doing this, you preserve the relationship and, you might discover how they construed your behaviors to mean something particular. If you DID do something, even if you didn’t intend it, wouldn’t you want to make it better? Wouldn’t you want to correct it, if you could?

Difficulties Are Just Things To Overcome And Learn From 

Would you not want someone to do the same for you?  I assume you would want them to be understanding, patient, and tolerant of you. You’d prefer them to  not make snap judgments about you. Correct? Seek to understand where the other person is coming from.

You may help them see it differently. The high road may be to not defend, but say, ‘I am sorry. I didn’t mean to. That wasn’t my intent. What can I do to make up for it? How can we move past this?’ It isn’t about blaming you or them. It is about creating understanding.

Whenever you can build bridges instead of burn bridges that is what you might attempt to do. It may turn out they simply misunderstood you or that you inadvertently did, or said something, that hurt them. If you have a chance to make it better, do so. Don’t let ego prevent.

People See And Believe What They Want To See And Believe

It is better than blaming, even if they are. Blaming back, won’t help anything. Making excuses, whining, complaining, getting angry or getting even, doesn’t help. Perception is everything. It is what we believe is real. Whether it is or isn’t, we believe it to be.

You might think the economic downturn is why you have problems. It is why you have debt or can’t get a job. This will make it more difficult for you to get ahead. That’s a belief. That is what you perceive the situation to be. It may or may not be accurate.

You might believe the weather prevents you from doing certain things.  You may believe that your family or your educational background prevents you from creating success.  There could be ‘some truth’ to these.  A company may not be hiring. Get it?

What We See Never Has Anything To Do With The Truth

A company may require you have a particular degree  in order to get work. That doesn’t mean your your life is over if you don’t have one. There are plenty of wealthy,  happy people who aren’t educated well. Still, they became successful. They didn’t let it stop them. Don’t you.

Limitations only exist in the mind. Our imagination can be our best friend or our worst enemy. Problems exist mostly in the mind. It is what we think we can’t do that limits us. It is not thinking and not discovering what we can do that limits us. It is our imagination.

What we perceive the reality to be, will be what our reality is. If we think we are right and they are wrong, so be it. If we think they are right and we are wrong, so be it.  Whatever we think and believe to be the case or the reason becomes our story about what is.

My Perception Of You Is A Reflection Of Me

Don’t let thoughts stop you from doing the right thing. Don’t be stopped because your mindset hasn’t yet found a solution to a difficulty. Be optimistic. Become positive and seek to find or create a way. Adjust, correct and continue. Write a different story. You can!

Stay open. Become available and aware. Create harmony. Seek the high road. Be grateful. Appreciate yourself and your abilities. If you need to develop certain skills, develop them. Learn. Appreciate others. Realize perception IS everything! That is why Henry Ford said, ‘If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right!’ Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Be kind to yourself and others today!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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