Why You Don’t Make The Changes You Want To

horizons waking-dream-phil-koch

“What keeps most people the same? Why don’t they change? Even when they want to they don’t. What about you? Have you wanted to make changes but didn’t because you found it difficult? Why is that?

Welcome to Part 3 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. We continue on today. I hope you found the 1st and 2nd parts valuable. Ready, let’s go. Part 4 tomorrow.

The answers may surprise you. At the same time you may think, ‘but of course, that makes perfect sense.’ So, why don’t people change? What is it that keeps them the same even when they want to?

Life Begins At The End Of Your Comfort Zone

Comfort. People like comfort. If nothing is pressing them they will remain as is. They want to be comfortable. Isn’t that true? Don’t you prefer it? I do. I like it when things are comfortable and easy.

That is one reason. The second reason is discomfort. People hate being uncomfortable and will do anything to remain in comfort. Change means discomfort. So they avoid changing.

When the discomfort becomes intolerable THEN people will decide to change because they want to comfortable again. Comfort like inertia takes a lot of effort to get people to move, out of it.

Comfort Zones Are Expanded Through Discomfort

Discomfort is what they want to avoid so they remain the same instead of leaving their comfort zone. They will continue until it becomes too uncomfortable to remain the same. Notice the cycle.

Change means you will be uncomfortable. This is normal. All growth means to stretch, to expand, to move beyond. We even say there is such a thing as growing pains. Discomfort is part of life.

All growth is growth outside your comfort zone. If you attempt new behaviors, change beliefs, create a new schedule or take a different route to work you leave the comfort behind.

The Secret:  Be Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

It seems foreign and unfamiliar. You long for the old ways when you feel pain or discomfort. It was easier the old way. Simpler and more comfortable. The new way is too hard.  What do you do? You quit.

The old way wasn’t easier you wanted to change. You  just didn’t prepare for the changes you’d be making. You didn’t get your head on right. So you stopped and went back to  your comfort zone.

Yup, that is what we tend to do. We quit. We give in, resist change and remain the same because we hate being uncomfortable for any amount of time.  We really do. In order to change we have to face it.

You Can Never Be Happy If You’re Afraid To Be Uncomfortable

The way to move forward is to realize it won’t always be cushy. It is not going to be comfortable, especially at first, as you learn new things. Eventually, yes, you will get comfortable with the new ways.

BUT not at first. You might as well know this and accept it so you can work with it. If you want your life to change you will have to change some things in your life. You’ll have to change what you think and do.

You need to do some things you won’t like doing. If you know going into it there are some challenges, at least you won’t be surprised. You can determine to see it through no matter what. Stick with it!

The Magic Happens Outside Your Comfort Zone

Accept it. Understand that in order to grow you will have to leave your comfort zone. It may not be easy, you may want to stop or to flee but you have to push through it. That is just how it is.

Don’t be afraid of it, accept it. Most of life is about making the unfamiliar familiar. We grow accustomed, establish habit and routine. We get comfortable over time with new things.

Then we convince ourselves that the new way should always remain the same. It doesn’t and won’t. There will always be obstacles and challenges. It is called LIFE. The apple cart gets tipped over.

Your Only Limitations Are The Ones You Think You Have

If we want to develop new thought and behavioral habits we will be uncomfortable from time to time. Not all the time but sometimes. That is how it will be. Can you accept that? It is easier if you can.

When you purchase a new pair of shoes they are uncomfortable at first. Perhaps, too tight or they rub. They are brand new but they don’t fit right, yet. They will but you have to break them in.

You wear them a little bit at a time so they break in without hurting your feet. You wear them. They stretch. You get more used to them. Eventually,the new ones become more comfortable for you.

Live As If You Were Going To Die Tomorrow…

That is how it works. When you exercise your muscles get sore. They burn. They downright hurt. You may not like it but if you keep going you develop a tolerance for it.

You accept it as part of developing muscles even if you don’t like it. Muscles grow by breaking the tissue down and then nourishing the tissue and replenishing it. It grows by break down and build up.

I had a friend who enjoyed the hurt because he knew his muscles were growing larger. His exercise was paying off. He took the pain as a signal he was making progress. It is all your frame of mind.

… Learn As If You Were Going To Live Forever

When you plant a seed, the seed germinates and breaks through it’s outer shell. Without tremendous effort the seed would not grow into the plant it is destined to become.

When you are uncomfortable you are at the boundary edges of your being. Your beliefs, and values are challenged. It is not at all comfortable.

T. Harv Eker has said, ‘Comfort is the kiss of death to success. If you are comfortable you will never be successful. BUT if you are successful there is a good chance you will be comfortable.’

Everything You Have Ever Wanted Is Outside Your Comfort Zone

Do you get it? It begins with your mindset. If you want to change know that you will be uncomfortable from time to time, or for a while. Develop your mindset and you can make do it.

Make the important changes you want to and then follow through. Don’t allow yourself to talk yourself out of it because it feels to hard. Control your thoughts, what you say to yourself and out loud.

Stick with it even when it is uncomfortable and you will be pushing through the tough times. They will give way. You don’t need to always be coddled and comfortable. Persist and push through.

Change Is From The Inside Out

Women push through the pain of childbirth and many want to do it again.  Some right away. You can do nearly anything if you give yourself credit that you can.

95% of the people will never do this. They will give up, give in, find some excuse or reason to quit. When the going gets tough most people cave. Only the toughest get going and keep going to the end.

Believe in yourself and be willing to change. Then continue on the path until you arrive. Commit. Be grateful you have the opportunity. Even while it is difficult be grateful. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a fabulous day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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