Category Archives: Habits

How To Be A Failure

For centuries, leaders have been trying to teach how to be a success. I decided to show you what leads to failure so that maybe, just maybe, you will stop doing that and change! Unsuccessful people, failures, do things differently than people who are successful.

They think crappy thoughts. Do you think negative; think like a loser? Don’t believe you can. Excuse, whine, accuse, blame others and the world around you for your situation. Crappy thoughts lead to crappy feelings. You feel bad then think more crappy thoughts.

It is a cycle. Crappy feelings don’t make you feel like doing anything. You are unmotivated so you take no constructive actions. No actions leads to no results or bad results. Bad results lead to more crappy thoughts and more crappy feelings and doing even less. It’s a cycle.

What Consumes Your Mind Controls Your Life

Bad thoughts lead to bad feelings, lead to bad actions, lead to bad results, lead to bad thoughts. The cycle perpetuates itself. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? If the answer is ‘no’ then you must start by changing your thinking. That IS the very FIRST step.

If you want your life to change you must change things in your life. You cannot continue doing the same things repeatedly and expect it to be different. That is crappy thinking. Your habits of thought, feeling and action define you. Your reality is created by you.

If you want to change, you change your thinking. Positive thoughts lead to positive feelings, which lead to positive actions, which lead to positive results. The cycle perpetuates itself. You have a choice. You have a decision to make each moment. Which cycle do you prefer?

You Become What You Think About Most Of The Time

Which one is your present reality? If it isn’t what you want decide to change it today. Begin reading and listening to positive, inspiring, motivational material. Recite affirmations. Visualize. Take an active approach to changing your thoughts. Take charge of your thinking.

Shift from the negative. Don’t repeat negative thoughts out loud. Stop telling stories to family and friends how things suck. Begin to think differently. Start thinking and saying, ‘I am not sure, yet, how it is going to work out but it will all work out for the best.’ It will!

DO things that make you feel good. Get a massage. Go for a walk, a swim, a movie. Enjoy a nice meal. HANG OUT with positive, inspiring, motivating, encouraging people. Take a seminar or workshop. Express your gratitude. All of this makes a difference.

What You Say Is What You Get – Change Your Self Talk And Story

If you keep doing what you always have you will continue to create what you already have. If it isn’t what you want that is a shame. There is no one who is doing it to you, but you. Right now you can change that. Start today. Be grateful! You can. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

ENJOY!

Make today marvelous!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Why Pain May Persist: What To Do About It

“Some of you know I have been healing from nerve pain in my back and legs. A friend stated that it seemed like a long time to be dealing with this injury and wondered if I shouldn’t choose a quicker option, such as surgery. I answered him this way.

I had wanted to get back in better shape for some time. Still, I put it off. I’d work on the computer instead of exercising or going to the gym. It was convenient, easier, less disruptive to just continue than to add more exercise in. I put it off for quite some time.

I got injured. The pain is tremendous. The only way out is through. My chiropractor said, ‘you need to get your back, back in shape’. I understood that. It was clear. Yes, I must. AND it hurts!! It meant pushing through discomfort. It mean accepting the hurt.

First Step Toward Change Awareness Second Step Is Acceptance

I have written about this in previous blog posts. The point I want to make today is, having this pain persist and having to work at feeling better, gives me the time needed to establish new routines and habit. If the pain went away immediately, I might not continue.

If it were miraculously resolved I might very well have gone back to the old, routine of working, instead of exercising. The continuation of pain is motivation to get better. Now daily, I see the chiropractor, I do PT in the pool and I walk around the block frequently.

It has been 3 almost 4 weeks now. I am into the habit of taking better care of myself again. I am grateful for this experience and for the duration of the pain. It is truly a blessing even if it seems not to be, or that it hurts. The pain is doing its job. It is awesome!

Time Doesn’t Heal Everything – Acceptance Will Heal Everything

I am proactive about my health again. Eventually the pain will subside. By then, I will have grow accustomed to working out. I do actually look forward to it now, each day, as I did when I was quite fit. I am building good habits, again, and I am pleased about that.

Pain is a signal and a means for me accomplishing some important work on myself. Does the pain know this? Is it ordained by anyone or anything? I haven’t a clue. It may be only a useful reframe, but useful it is. Perception is everything. It really is!

If I state the pain persists to get me off my ass so I take an active role in being in better shape, so be it. It works for me. It truly does, in that I do get relief when I do the PT. So the pain will be around for as long as necessary. Then no longer. All is good. It IS as it is!

Whatever The Present Moment Is – Act As If You Had Chosen It

What we think and how we think about things is important. As I began to celebrate the pain, and consider it a blessing, it began to change and diminish. Sadly, many people don’t consider the benefit or value of pain physical or emotional. We try to avoid it.

Embracing it is a whole new freedom. Things do shift. It allows for much new insight and evolution. While I don’t wish this on anyone I can say, learn to be grateful, it makes a difference. Acceptance moves you through it quicker than resistance. It is all perfect.

It is what it is. I also focus on where, what part of my body feels the best. Which sensations do I enjoy the most? I focus on the water, how wonderful that feels. I emphasize the movements I can make easily. I shift from what hurts to what feels great. It is about focus.

Work With It Not Against It – What You Resist Persists – Accept

So the pain serves many useful purposes. I get to workout and control my attention to things. I focus on the good feelings not the bad ones. Anyone can do this. Anyone can learn. The more we focus on what we want and the good stuff, the more we get back.

So celebrate and enjoy! Find all the good, groovy, cool stuff to marvel in. Find the silver linings. Get to the gold beneath all the dirt. When digging for gold you look for the gold you don’t care about the dirt. Get it? Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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ENJOY!

How much delight can you stand to have today?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Why You Keep Having The Same Problems Over Again And What To Do About It!

“Why do you keep having the same problem again and again? Believe it or not, it’s because the universe supports you. It keeps giving you the lesson over and over and over and over again until you learn the lesson. Universe or subconscious, it is the same thing.

Your story keeps you doing it over and over again because what you say is what you get. You keep repeating to yourself or others the same old chronic conditioning. You keep living out of your conditioned mind and habitual thoughts and beliefs. It’s the same!

It doesn’t change from day to day. Unless, you actually take responsibility to change it. You aren’t responsible for getting conditioned at an early age. It isn’t your fault. You are responsible for changing it as an adult. As you become aware of it, you can change it.

The First Step In Changing Is Becoming Aware

Some ancients would consider this play the wheel of karma. You repeat it until you get it right. You live out your drama trauma until you say, ‘enough already!’  Then you act to change it. That is what it takes. You have to begin by changing your thoughts and beliefs.

You have to change your story and what you think and say to yourself and others. You have to re-write your history and write a fulfilling future. You need to take charge as the author of your life story and write it as you want it to play out. YOU must do this.

But you say, you have done affirmations. Okay, but what is the preponderance of your thinking like? Is it mostly positive or mostly negative? You must shift the balance. You must tip the scale to mostly positive thoughts and energy. That begins the changes.

Become Aware Of What You Are Thinking And Feeling And …

You can affirm positively. You can affirm negatively. Either way you are still affirming. IS your focus MOSTLY on what you want and what you want to be, do and have? Because if it has been mostly on what you do not want you are affirming that and creating that result.

You need understand this. Then stop and take 100% responsibility for creating everything in your life. The good and the bad is all your doing. Some people balk at this thought. They don’t want to believe that they are accountable for everything. I understand that.

I didn’t want to believe it, either. Who does? Think of it as a mental template to organize your thoughts and beliefs, your feelings and actions, and nothing more than that. It doesn’t have to be true or not true to be effective. Think of it as a useful reframe to guide you.

… Recognize The Law Between Your Mood And Circumstances

Focus on what you want. Find or create a way to make it happen. In doing this you’ll be learning how to manifest those things that you desire and eliminate those you don’t. Let the things you don’t want go. Drop them. Stop affirming them. Stop speaking about them.

Write a different story. Speak a different story. Live a different story. Act as if you are the person you want to be, living the life you want to live. Play that out in your mind. Enhance the positive. Accentuate it. Leave the less than glorious behind. Let that stuff go. Drop it! Drop!!

You don’t have to force the negative to leave. You don’t have to quit them. You don’t have to resist them. You just drop them. Withdraw your attention. Focus on what you want. Ignore what you don’t. Leave the old behind. Move forward with the new. AND be patient.

Everything Shows Up In Your Life To Teach You Something

Just as when you plant a seed it takes time to grow and produce fruit. In the meantime, until you get it, until you learn the lessons, you may keep getting the lessons, the  same circumstances, the same people, continue to show up in your life. It is all a blessing for you.

It is a mirror for you. It is the universe or your subconscious, or god or whatever attempting to get you to know who you are beyond your conditioning.  It will show you your conditioning repeatedly, so you become aware of it so you can drop it. Do you understand this?

It is to help you move into your higher self. To live from a new domain. One that is there PRIOR to your conditioning. Your conditioning, my conditioning, masks who we really are. So it is a pretty good deal when you think about it. It is for our GOOD!

Negative Breeds Negative Thoughts – Positive Breeds Positive

You have infinite intelligence, the entire universe, god or whatever you want to call it, working on your behalf. The goal is to recognize who you truly are! Recognize you are a magnificent creator and attractor. You are the one behind the thoughts. You are behind the thinking  and the feelings. You are the source! Accept it. Live it. Embrace it. Celebrated it. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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ENJOY!

Celebrate yourself and those around you today!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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A Few Important Ideas To Keep In Mind!

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‘If you want to be happy set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy and inspires your hopes.’ Andrew Carnegie

‘Remember, no more effort is required to aim high in life, to demand abundance and prosperity, than is required to accept misery and poverty.’ Napoleon Hill

‘If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall in place.’ Lao-Tzu

The Universe Desires You To Have Everything You Want To Have

‘Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are; it solely relies on what you think.’ Buddha

‘Any idea, plan or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.’ Napoleon Hill

‘You become what you think about.’ Earl Nightengale

Have a fantastic day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Unless You Do This You Are Bound To Fail!

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“For nearly 40 years I have asked this question in articles, presentations and seminars near and far, ‘What is it that stops most people?’ What is it that prevents people from being happy, having the career they want, a great relationship and living their dreams?

Some answer fear. Some say doubt. Others answer procrastination. Apathy some say. Others chime in struggle, it’s too hard. Failure, they give up. I get many similar answers. What is the bottom line? What are all these made of? What is common among these?

Thoughts. A thought. A mental packet of elctro-chemical energy is what stops most people. People think they are afraid. They have thoughts of doubt; they think it is too hard. They tried and are convinced they can’t succeed. They think, ‘I’ll do it later.’

Who You Think You Are Or Are Not Can Hold You Back

This is why I have been a champion for gaining control of what goes on in your head, between your ears, and in your body. People allow themselves to lose out, miss out, not have what they want and don’t even try because of what they think repeatedly day in and day out.

The truth is this! ALL IT IS IS A HABIT! You think it otherwise? Of course, you do AND that IS the point. People have learned lines of thinking that they repeat blindly throughout the years that determine the course of their lives and they do not change it.

They think the same thing over and over and wonder why life doesn’t change. IT WON’T either unless people change what they learned to do so well. In order to change one needs to know a changes is necessary. One needs to become aware. Awareness!

Discipline Is Your Friend Not Your Enemy – Create Good Habits

Then one needs to know what to change and change it. If you are engaged in a non-supportive or destructive habit then you must first realize it is the habit causing the problems and replace the habit with a better, supportive productive one. Get it? You must do something.

If you do nothing everything remains the same. Some people try many things, they change jobs, they try to diet, they change partners, they move to different locations BUT their thinking remains the same. That is why they marry the same person again and again.

That is why they find themselves repeating the same mistakes in different places. Their thinking remained the same. Take charge of your thinking and you can begin to change everything for the better. You can make improve your life. You can improve everything.

The Only Difference Between A Good And Bad Day Is Attitude

After all it is only a thought. Thoughts can be changed. The thoughts you think are the basis for your feelings and your actions. What you think and believe create your reality, your present and your tomorrow. Your thoughts form your experiences.

Learn to change your thoughts! Learn to manage your thoughts. Learn to take charge of your thinking and you will improve your life! Everything can begin to change when you choose what you think. You win when you tell your brain what to think instead of your brain telling you. Take charge! Choose! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Surprise yourself!  Do something new today.

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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This Is Just How It Works! Accept It Or Don’t

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“People are marionettes of their own making. They dance on strings;  the result of the conditioning process during their years growing up. They can be freed from this conditioning. They can be freed from habitual ways of doing things. They can learn to be free.

It is an unconscious learning process. That was and still is how we learn most everything. We learned to sit up, balance, crawl, walk and feed ourselves unconsciously. We learned from modeling others and experimenting. We didn’t read a book or talk our way through it.

We learned it all without much conscious effort, other than intent. We tried and continued until we succeeded. During this time and through our early childhood development we adopted other’s beliefs and values. We accepted other’s points of view.

It Is What It Is – Accept It – And Take Charge Of Your Life

Now we live from that conditioning. We made their beliefs our own without ever fully examining them to discover and decide whether we wanted them or not. We learned most of them unconsciously. Today, most of us don’t even know all that we believe inside us.

We operate habitually, subconsciously. We are unconsciously competent at being who we are. We don’t even have to think about it. Those beliefs are us. Well, not really, but they fit so well we don’t know where those beliefs start and end. We identify them as ‘mine’.

Those beliefs become ‘my beliefs’. They have to do with whether the world is a friendly or cruel place. Whether it is good or bad to be rich or poor. They determine whether or not we feel worthy or unworthy of money, love, success and possessions. We live from these beliefs.

You Were Born To Win – You Were Born For Greatness – Be It

We don’t even know how many we have. Beliefs tend to cluster as grapes do. They seem to come in bunches. Until challenged or provoked in some way, or until we attempt to do something outside our personal comfort zone, we don’t even realize they are operating.

When we consciously attempt to change  ourselves we encounter that habitual, unconsciously competent set of thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We encounter those well worn neural pathways. The electro-chemical firings of our beliefs scream ‘Whoa! No you don’t!’

Consciously we call it self sabotage or resistance.  It isn’t any such thing. It is self preservation mechanisms. It is homeostasis. It is the brain working perfectly as it does. The Amygdala, a part of the brain, works to keep everything the same and consistent. It is protective.

You Were Born To Be A Champion In Life – Accept It – Live It

It works to preserve the status quo. That is it’s job. If you want to stray out of your comfort zone your Amygdala rushes in to keep you from getting hurt. It fears for your life (metaphor) it wants you safe rather than sorry. It doesn’t know any better and it works perfectly.

It doesn’t know a penny from a million dollars and it doesn’t know an imaginary threat from a real one. It treats it all the same. You want to lose weight and it reacts by keeping you heavier. You want to make more money and it responds by having you spend more.

Status quo. It works as a thermostat does to keep the temperature the same as the set point it is at. It works to keep you in your comfort zone no matter how uncomfortable that may be. It works to maintain all your prior chronic, habitual, negative conditioning too.

If You Want To Be Better – Do Better – It’s All On You – Create It

Because we have learned to be who we are we can also deliberately decide to learn how to change who we are. We can learn to improve ourselves and operate from a new set of consciously chosen programming instead of the programming we did not get to choose.

This is incredible, fantastic news and it has been around since ancient times. Only more recently neuroscience has helped to validate what few have known for eons. Many hear it but few live it. Many are called but few are chosen. It is a secret out in the open.

We can change and we have been told how. Still, few actually bother to attempt it. Why? Because they are conditioned to not attempt it. Our own programming rises up and says, ‘it will be too hard’, ‘it’s not worth the effort’, ‘you could never do it’, ‘can’t teach and old dog…’.

Everything We Know We Learned From Someone Else

Still, the truth is you and I and anyone can change if we decide to. You, and I, and anyone can live it when we are ready to. This helps us understand the statement ‘the teacher appears when the student is ready’. When ready one accepts that one can change and begins.

Prior to ‘being ready’ one listens from one’s old, chronic, habitual conditioning. That conditioning, isn’t all bad. Some of it is supportive and some isn’t. Good taste or wisdom means you can determine which is which and let go of that which does not serve you.

You can create or learn and embrace that which does support you. It is simple to do but not always easy. Changing any habit can seem tough at first but if you decide to change it you can absolutely change it. Some don’t because they don’t believe they can.

Do Not Let Your Past Dictate Who You Are – But Learn From It

Nor do they give it enough time and effort to make the change. Again, the concepts are simple enough. Yet, most miss them. In practice one must believe and commit and see it through. Humans can make most any change they put their mind to. Truly!

They can become more positive and powerful than they presently think they can. They can get better results than they have gotten in the past when they focus on what it is they want. It isn’t airy fairy wishing! It is the art and science of getting what you want.

A champion athlete knows what is necessary to compete at that level. The same is required to create a champion mindset. It isn’t wishing and hoping. It is action and work. It can be difficult but it can also be fun and exciting. It means becoming aware and noticing.

Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Will – Believe

It means taking responsibility and control. It means managing your thinking and feeling. Whenever you discover you are thinking negatively you shift back to thinking positive. Not always easy but doable. You do it as often as you need to for as long as you need to.

Learning new habits means you correctly repeat the new behavior or new thinking of thoughts over and over again, for a long enough time, for new neural pathways to be laid down. You do it again and again, long enough, until it becomes the new habit. YOU do it.

You do it until you get so good at it you no longer do it consciously. It becomes automatic and habitual. It is just how one goes from playing scales on a piano to being a good pianist, a good baseball player, chess player, chef, seamstress, bicycle rider. We do until we ‘get it’!

The More You Take Responsibility For Your Past And Present …

Habits take time and energy to acquire. Most of yours you acquired growing up. NOW it means deliberately replacing the ones that don’t serve you with ones that do. The process needn’t be thought of  as difficult. It can be fun, exhilarating and exciting. It can be a blast.

Going from the old you to the new you can be an incredible journey. You will think and feel and see and tell yourself and others new things. You transform. It can be positively incredible. So don’t think of it as arduous just because it means replacing habits.

Getting good at any sport, swimming or golfing, can be enjoyable even though effort and commitment are involved. However, how you approach personal change may be from a tired old, negative mindset. Then it won’t seem much like fun and delight. But it can be.

… The More You Are Able To Create The Future You Seek

Change can take time. It can also be almost instantaneous. It can be many different things. It is many different things. Mostly it will conform to whatever you believe it is. So choose how you want to think about it. That can be your first lesson.

You decide whether it will or won’t be fun. Get it? THAT is how it works! YOU make it happen. You are doing it. Enjoy it or not. That is up to you. Easy or hard?  That is your call. When it is tough do you wimp out or love a challenge? Will you commit and be unstoppable?

Will you give up along the way? You decide. It is your journey. A great beginning point is to begin with gratitude. Feel thankful for what you already have and what you are able to do. Be grateful for everything. Live in appreciation! Delight in all of it. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible day!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

You Day Depends On This! But Are You Doing It?

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“How do you feel during your day? How does it go for you? Are you happy, energized, positive and productive or much less than you’d like to be. Would you like to maximize your day? Would you like to  feel better and get more done? How you start it determines all.

From the moment you wake up your day is set. How you wake up is determined by how you go to sleep. Your closing moments of the day impact the opening moments of your day. If you don’t know this it is time to learn. Make some changes and enjoy your day more.

Go to sleep relaxed and peaceful. Do not go to bed disturbed or angry. Take time to let go, forgive, relax and shift your focus and your energy. Review your day for the positive, happy moments. Preview your next day. Set intentions, determine to delight and enjoy it.

Awake Feeling Blessed And Grateful – Filled With Enthusiasm

Your last thoughts are important. Find love, peace, and appreciation. Focus on gratitude and that which delights you. Focus you energy on love and thankfulness. Make your gratitude list. Pick a positive word or mantra to gently and quietly recite or think on as you drift off.

Allow yourself to go to sleep feeling wonderful. Close your day well and the next one can open well. You will sleep and dream better as you learn to do these things and make them habits. Closing and opening rituals help ensure you maximize each moment.

Upon awakening your first thoughts set the tone for the day. If you wake up thinking, ‘wow, today is going to be wonderful’ you day goes much different than, ‘crap I have to get up. I hate going to work’. Realize you first thought is important. It makes a difference.

Vow To Live Each Moment Fully – Commit To Your Excellence

This is why closing out your day well is critical. You want to wake up thinking and feeling your finest. You can close or open your day with positive statements or affirmations. You can visualize how you want things to go. You can visualize your goals. Meditation works well.

Wake up thinking positive thoughts. Stretch, get out the kinks, breathe and get centered. Take a moment to feel balanced. Stand up, and recite your affirmations with enthusiasm. Set your positive intentions for the day. Feel grateful and think on these things.

What you eat and drink has an impact. If you eat something fresh, alive and nutritional you feel better than eating something processed filled with sugar, salt, preservatives and chemicals. Choose wisely. Get your body going with good energy.

Can’t Sleep – Lie There And Imagine Perfect Positive Scenarios

Your mind and body determine how you feel. Make habits of those things that make you feel and operate at your best. Don’t wake up thinking, ‘crap the weather sucks’ or ‘I have to face traffic now.’ Control your first thoughts! Choose wonderful first thoughts!

How you do one thing is how you do everything. You are a reflection of your habits. If you want a wonderful day realize it depends on you and what you think and do. It isn’t haphazard. It doesn’t depend on others or the world as most people think. It depends on you.

Find you positive purpose and positive energy and focus on these throughout the day. If things come up that would have disturbed you learn to let these go to. You can handle anything with the right mindset and feelings of resourcefulness. Practice, practice, practice.

At Sleep – Let Go Forgive – Feel Peaceful – Thankful – Positive

You’ll do better if you begin and end your day better. The bookends help determine how you go through the middle. As you practice and set rituals and habits you will notice how much more enjoyment you can and will have. Be thankful. Delight in it and learn to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Discover today how resourceful you are!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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