“You can learn to eliminate self-sabotage. You can eliminate it forever. You can free yourself up to make permanent, positive changes. The first step is to become aware that you must change. From there nearly anything is possible if you believe it is possible.
Welcome to Part 13 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. The series continues and this post continues from the previous two. Part 14 tomorrow. Let’s go!
Once you become aware that you need to change then you go through a process. It continues until the new change is reliably in place. This takes as long as it takes. It is as easy or hard as it is, or as you think it is. Your mindset determines much of everything.
When you begin to change you don’t want to set up a contentious, oppositional fight with yourself. You don’t want to create resistance. You want to align you resourcefulness. You want to be of one mind and congruent, not conflicted.
You Can Do Whatever You Believe You Can Do
This is why what you believe is possible is important. You want to establish a respectful relationship between your brain and your new desire. You want to align you conscious and subconscious minds for the changes and have them work together, not oppose each other.
Both are correct. Your subconscious wants to do what it knows to do and run on and on the patterns it has learned so well. It remains faithful and consistent. Your conscious mind wants new change to get better results and to feel better in life. Both are correct.
You consciously want to replace the old ways with something new. The easiest way is to honor the old. Be grateful. Thank yourself for working perfectly. Some people want change so much they resent themselves. They think they sabotage themselves, remember.
It Is All A Mind Game – You Play On The Inside
Insulting yourself adds injury not better co-operation. I am describing this as is your subconscious cares. It doesn’t but consider this. Treat it as if it did. Act as if you are trying to gain the cooperation of a friend, make it an ally and not fight with it.
Get used to respecting all of you instead of thinking about yourself as trying to screw things up. Manage you self-talk and images, keep them positive. Think ‘what you want’ not what you don’t want. Understand? Pretend, it is a person you want to work with you!
It is you! And you have learned many things. Your goal is to line them up, all working together, pursuing the same goals and dreams. Think about people in a boat all sitting and facing in the same direction rowing at the same time to get somewhere.
You Have Learned To Do So Many Marvelous Things
It works better when they work together that way then independently at different times creating opposition. Get it? Your goal is to get yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, your actions together on the same page, congruent, cooperating. Together!
Consider that computer hardware can work perfectly well even if the software has a few bugs. You may not get the results you want due to the software but the hardware works as it is supposed to. Your brain works as it is supposed to. Stop complaining.
Acknowledge it works well. Be grateful. Respect it. Love yourself for it. For goodness sake don’t dis it! Be glad. Enjoy, Celebrate. Be thankful old habits die hard and you live consistently. Be thankful your learning lasts and you carry out what you learned to do.
It Is All About Learning To Learn And To Grow And To Change
Be thankful you can learn anything. You have already. You have learned positive and negative, useful and useless things. YOU can learn ANYTHING! Celebrate this. You can learn the new positive change you want to make and have it reliable too! Be happy.
Acknowledge you are a great learner. Accept it. Enjoy it. You have now decided to change. That is cool. Since you have learned well before you can now too. You are a great learner! Do you get the mindset you are adapting. You are getting rid of the old one.
You are creating a new, positive, confident, new one. You are using your thoughts to change your thoughts by thinking good things about what you want instead of the old, chronic, negative habitual thoughts that kept you conflicted. Do you understand this?
Direct Your Mind And Changes – Celebrate Taking Charge
To make the positive changes you now use AUTOSUGGESTION. What the heck is this? Autosuggestion is or are suggestions you give yourself or self-suggestions. You use your own self-talk. You replace the old suggestions with new ones you want to support you.
They may not seem or be true at first. That is okay. The old ones weren’t necessarily true at all. You accepted them as reality so they shaped your reality and determined what you did or didn’t do, what you tried or wouldn’t try. They limited you in particular fasion.
NOW you change the content and decide WHAT you want to believe that will be useful. You monitor and manage your self-talk suggestions to give yourself only the positive messages you want to replace the old, chronic negative ones you originally learned, with.
Be The Captain Of Your Ship – Pilot It To Where You Want To Go
Why do you use autosuggestion? Remember? It is because you originally learned from what you were told, and heard and saw around you. Much of your learning was second hand, as well as, first hand. You are replacing that old conditioning with the new.
You override the old message with the new. This is why you do it and this is HOW you do it. You do it through repetition because the messages you originally learned you learned that way. You learn using your emotions. Then it was probably haphazard what you felt.
Now you deliberately utilize the best feelings to wire in the change. The subconscious is driven by the strong feelings you feel. Feelings deliver the message and make the difference. Your thoughts govern your emotions which govern your actions and results.
You Grew Up HowYou Grew Up – Now You Grow Deliberately
Anything you do you have learned to do, nearly 100% of the time, by repeating the activity enough. From crawling, walking, feeding oneself, using the toilet, reading, writing, riding a bike, driving a car, dribbling a basketball, knitting a scarf, using the computer or phone.
Whatever it is , most all human activity, writing, speaking, thinking, spelling, math, anything. To get good at it required practice. Think games. The more fun you have, the better you feel the more you want to play. The more you do the better you get.
Mastery comes from continued correct and improved repetition. It occurs over time. I repeat, most anything you learned you learned by repeating it again and again. To stay good, to maintain your edge you continue to practice. Pro athletes stay pros by practicing.
When You Are In Control You Dictate The Circumstances
They don’t become the best and then quit the process. Once they arrive they continue the process IF they want to stay good. That is how they get better. Consistent, dedication even when the best, to remain the best is required.
There are a rare, few things that one might learn almost instantly. You might dislike a food your first try. You could learn to like it by continuing to sample it. A Phobia may and can occur because of one powerful, intense and significant experience.
It is a unique one time learning event. Most people don’t have true phobias. They may have fears but not genuine phobias, although, some will. All things are learned over time by repetition with a couple possible exceptions. That is the process.
Lead Yourself As The Best Leader In The World Would
You learned to be who you are growing up over time. Understand to change habits it may take some time. Don’t bother about how long it takes because you can begin to make progress right from the starting point. That is good news.
Step by step, bit by bit you will get there. Just keep at it. Be persistent and consistent and you will get there. If it gets tough keep going. When it gets easier keep going. Enjoy the process all the way through. From the moment you start if you decide you can have fun.
If you decide you can have fun changing and growing then you will. How it is will be up to you! That is what is great about changing now. You deliberately get to determine how you want to go through it. You run the show. You make the decisions.
Become A Compassionate Benevolent Leader Of Yourself
You may encounter all sorts of other things, snags, and obstacles but you decide how you want to handle them. In doing this you learn control and how to maintain it. If you accept responsibility for all of it you will guide yourself as needed. It is an amazing process.
You repeat to yourself the new positive suggestions over and over again. You fill your mind with CAN DO thinking instead of Can’t Do thinking. You set your mind straight and develop the winner ‘I can do anything’ attitude ‘when I learn how’!
You keep thinking and repeating these positive mantras. These positive self-suggestions. When times get tough you keep repeating. When you don’t feel like it you keep repeating, You feel the best you can during all of this. You keep going no matter what.
Positively Direct The Changes You Want To Make
Encourage strong emotions while you do this. Feel excited, feel eager, feel enthused, feel confident, feel powerful, feel angry, whenever you feel powerfully strong emotions that is what signals the brain that your words are important.
It really isn’t the words it is the feeling that accompanies them. You can repeat words listlessly, or apathetically forever without much change or you can change fairly quickly by chanting them out loud powerfully. Intense, positive strong emotions works great.
Your words and feelings and what you see in your mind, what you visualize work together in powerful combination to bring about the new changes. You remain congruent and aligned as you pursue and manage your new changes.
To Enjoy Enduring Success Travel In Advance Of The World
See yourself as already changed. Feel the wonderful feelings you’d feel when you are like that. Make it right now in the present not someday far off. Feel as though you are it and have it this moment! Notice how great it feels. This is how you change.
Stick with it no matter what. Develop the attitude that you can do this no matter what. Athletes continue to workout even when they may not feel like it. They also know that by working out when they don’t feel like it – they will begin to feel like it as they work out.
People wait to feel motivated, You can’t. Motivation doesn’t come from sitting on your butt waiting. Motivation comes through action. Do it and you will feel motivated. Wait for motivation and you will wait and wait. This is why you begin before you are ready.
Drop By Drop The Tub Gets Filled
You start right now no matter what. Begin now to have a wonderful relationship with yourself. Adore your ability to learn and be consistent. Be grateful you can learn and reproduce the behaviors you learn reliably. Appreciate that your brain.
Appreciate your subconscious does what it does. Your subconscious mind doesn’t have a critical filtering ability. It just doesn’t have it. It will learn whatever you teach it good or bad, right or wrong, negative or positive. That is why one can learn to smoke.
If you learned to engage in destructive habits this is why. Your brain doesn’t judge them as that. This is also why you can put an end to them and develop new positive habits instead. The subconscious mind doesn’t judge.
Now Is The Only Time We Have
It just acquires as its own whatever messages you give it with the highest emotional signal value. It learns from signal strength repeated over and over. SO you use the same process to change now deliberately. You are in charge.
Will it go smoothly. Nope, most likely not. Will you feel frustrated and want to quit. Most probably from time to time. Learning to go through this IS PART OF LEARNING how to manage your change now. It is part of learning control and becoming a champion.
When times are tough the tough get going. Hooray. It will be all things. The more you understand this in advance the more likely you will stick with it. How many times might you try and ‘fail’ as many as you do. Just don’t quit. Keep going even if you don’t feel like it.
If You Fall Seven Times Rise Eight
If you throw in and give up rise again. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall as long as you get back up. Make it fun, enjoy the challenges, feel your best and you will make it through, in time. To gain control and self-mastery isn’t easy but it IS WORTH IT.
Be grateful you can change. Be grateful for your history. Be grateful for the opportunity to create a new one. Be grateful for everything and you will move through faster, easier and more powerfully and enjoyably. Life works best when you celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes
Make each moment delightful!
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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