How To Give Up Old Unproductive Ways And Become New!


“Life challenges us sometimes. Sometimes it’s snaps and breaks us. It isn’t the size of the problems. It’s not because the challenges are so large, the obstacles so overwhelming, or the problem so insurmountable that we break. It is because we are so rigid.

We are not flexible.  We don’t give and take and roll with the punches. That is why we break. If we were like the tall reed, we would bend this way and that. Because we are rigid stress cracks us. It breaks us.  Sometimes that is just the way it is or the way it was.

Sometimes we break. No use crying about water over the damn. That’s what was. That is what it is.  So get up dust off and move forward again.  Yes, it may be hard but do it anyway. Here’s the lesson:  sometimes you break and sometimes you bend.

A Storm Breaks Trees – It Only Bends Grass

Sometimes you’ll apply the lessons you’ve been learning in maintaining a positive attitude, being happy, staying centered, in a challenging situation and you will surprise yourself. You may have resolved to stay calm and centered during life’s toughest moments.

That’s how it works. It goes from being really hard applying what your learning to easier and easier. Ultimately, you learn to do new things. The old habits give way to the new habits you acquire. Once the new habits take hold it is much different. Until then…

In the midst of turmoil you might find that you’re not as agitated as you would have been in the past. You discover you are  much more centered. Calmer. Perhaps, not as much is you hoped, but more than you might otherwise have been in dealing with a huge issue.

The Reed Bends With The Wind – Stands Straight After The Storm

You stayed calmer than you would have in your past. You remained more centered. That is huge! That is a big awareness. That is good! Whenever you find yourself behaving along the lines of the direction you’re moving toward, celebrate! Acknowledge it! Become aware.

Make a point of treating it as something special! Pat yourself on the back. Give your self a hug. Gift yourself in someway for doing that. Celebrate doing that which you want to be doing more of. Be grateful you did it because you open the door to do it again  more.

When you gift yourself now for behaving as you want to you’ll get more in the future. That which you focus on expands. Be grateful for the little you do now because you’ll do a lot more later! That’s  how you learn! First it seems all up hill, you struggle. Later, you coast.

Baby Steps Are Better Than  No Steps – Keep Moving Forward

You move forward, you grow and evolve, by emphasizing and exaggerating those positive things you do. You put your energy and attention into it so that in the future you will continue to behave in these productive ways. Praise yourself when you notice. Practice!

Acknowledge and appreciate. Feel grateful for any tiny movement in the right direction. Nurture and encourage. One day in the not too distant future you will be doing more of the same positive productive behaviors. Keep at it. Don’t quit. You’ll develop the habit.

You will make it much easier on yourself and move forward more rapidly if you don’t berate yourself for screwing up but instead praise yourself for moving forward. Ignore the mistakes, except to learn from them. Correct and continue. Praise when you do well.

What We Want To Do With Ease We Must First Do With Diligence

Then, soon, you will wire in the new behaviors. Correct repetition over a long enough period of time will become habit. The easier you make it on yourself the more quickly you are able to change. The more you resist the more the old way persists. Stop resisting.

Start nurturing. Start welcoming. Stop worrying. Stop obsessive monitoring. Stop unnecessary commentary. Start acknowledging. Start encouraging. Start affirming.  You will move forward faster and easier. Be thankful. Delight in all and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Be kind to a stranger today.

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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2 thoughts on “How To Give Up Old Unproductive Ways And Become New!”

  1. Hi Roger,

    Here is another great email … full of very profound advice … to help us make our lives easier !




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