Category Archives: Listening

How To Get Along With Others Part 2

“Recently, I mentioned a young woman, I’d overheard having a  discussion with an older gentleman. She mentioned she liked a group meeting she had attended the day before. His immediate reply was, ‘I don’t like that group.’  What could he have done instead?

He could ask questions. He COULD have asked questions without wanting or needing or bothering to give an opinion. If he wished to acknowledge and respect her he could have asked, ‘that’s great, what do  you like about it?’ He could encourage her to speak more.

He could have said, ‘fascinating! Will you go back? What did you discover? How did you find out about it?’ Were there many people?’  He could’ve been curious! He could have listened. Instead, he rendered an opinion that was not asked for. She was sharing.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes – Create A Good Connection

She was telling him something she discovered and enjoyed. He immediately dissed it and her. I don’t think he intended to. He was just unaware of what he was doing. So many of us are AND much of the time. We are too eager to give our point of view.  Get it?

We say what we like or don’t when someone voices theirs. We don’t need to. They didn’t ask us for our opinon. If they do, we can give it without being offensive. We could say something like, ‘I am glad you really like it. It’s just not for me.’ We validate and add information.

We could say, ‘marvelous, it didn’t resonate with me’, or ‘I have been going to a different group I like. I fit in better in my group.’ Why do you suppose when you say ‘I like pizza’ someone feels compelled to  say, ‘not me!’ Perhaps you have do this. I certainly have. Silly human.

People Tend To Like People Who Like The Same Things They Do

Instead of saying, ‘wow. really what do you like about it?  Why do you like? I haven’t really enjoyed it that much but I’d be curious. Maybe I’m missing something? How do you like it? What toppings?’ Get it? We can listen and request more information. Let them share!

It is about how we treat others. Do we listen to listen, or do we listen just so we can give our opinion? Do we listen just to speak? If you want to be respectful, be curious. Say, ‘fascinating, why do you think that?’ They are entitled to have an opinion. Let them have it freely.

We don’t have to argue over every like and dislike. If you both looked at a painting you don’t have to go to battle over it. You can simply say, ‘what do you like about it? Oh, that is interesting. I hadn’t thought about it that way. I hadn’t noticed that.’ Encourage them.

Like Attracts Like – Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

If they ask you if you liked it, you can be honest without being disrespectful or hurting them. You can say, ‘I don’t feel about it as you do. It doesn’t speak to me in that way.’ You are entitled to your opinion to. Just know when to, and when not to, give it. GET IT?

Treat people with respect. How respectful are you? We don’t need to give our opinion to everyone all the time. I know, we want to. So do I.  We just need to listen more. Give our attention and respect to the people we associate with. Let them know we value them.

Then we help them feel valued and help them feel understood. Then they feel listened to. Be interested in the other person. When their interests are in your heart  they will feel it. They will feel comfortable and like being around you if you make them feel good.

Attention – Respect – Kindness – Caring – Love – Acceptance Last

Go first. The responsibility is always on us. It is on them too if they know these principles and practices. Not everyone does. Be an example. Be a role model. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be kind, understanding, patient and accepting. You can be.

When you give your full undivided attention to another and really listen without simply wanting to speak they will feel it. Your nonverbal behaviors will demonstrate you are a respectful, good person. They really will feel it. WHY? Because so few people do this.

People want to shout out their opinions on social media and in public more and more, it seems. We don’t have to oppose each other. We can embrace each other and even our differences. It is a choice. Ask questions. Further the conversation rather than end it. Be curious.

You Win More Bears With Honey Than With Vinegar

You don’t have to, of course, but if you want a deeper rapport with people who are important to you AND those you’d like to be more important , then you will really listen more and speak less. Discover how you can share your point of view in meaningful ways. Connect with others first and they will want to hear from you, too. It is reciprocal. Make you moments magical with many more people. Celebrate everything!”

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Once They Hear Me How Do I Keep Them Listening?

“Is knowing why they buy, everything you need to know in order to sell more? Yes and no. It ‘s damn close. Nearly everything, BUT what else do you need? Think about it for a second? You need the goods. You need to be able to deliver something OF value. Understand this!

You want repeat business! You want to sell your film, the real estate, the electronics, the make-up, the food snacks to repeat customers or consumers. You don’t always want to be looking for new leads. So while you may be able to sell swamp land, you had better not.

Knowing why they buy may make them vulnerable but it doesn’t make them stupid. You burn a potential life long customer and business partner, you hurt yourself, perhaps more, than you ever hurt them. Don’t hurt either. Respect them. Respect  their time!

Speak With Honesty – Think With Sincerity – Act With Integrity

Deliver on your promise. Be exemplary! Have the best product to offer. We all know you think you do already, but DO YOU? This is where the rubber meets the road. Have a product worth buying or investing in. Then offer it to them, the way they want it offered.

Don’t burn them and run. Your reputation will suffer near and far. Be ethical, honest, loyal, reliable, respectful and deliver on your promises. Keep your commitments. Never make excuses or blame. Own up to your mistakes. Take 100% responsibility and THEN…

Then if you do these things AND you take the time to learn why they buy, what their values are, and what they want or need, you can align your product or service with what is important to them. You provide solutions. You help them solve problems. You become a hero.

When You Make A Commitment You Build Hope …

Isn’t that what you want? You want to have them like and appreciate you, your product and service, so much they continue on with you for a lifetime. Plus, they refer you to all their associates and friends. Isn’t this the way to get ahead in business? Stop thinking short term.

Stop thinking I got to kill it this time. Yes, do your best, but develop long term trusting relationships. Your customers, clients and consumers will reciprocate more than you can imagine when you GO FIRST!  Go the extra mile for them. AND unlock why they buy!

Then meet their criteria for purchasing or investing. Meet their criteria for doing what it is you invite them to do. Whether it is with your family and friends and personal matters, or in your professional sphere of influence, meet them where they’re at. Not where you are.

… When You Keep Your Commitment You Build Trust

Next blog I’ll share with you a powerful way to meet them where they are at. This is crucial.  There are four things you must know, ultimately, and we will get to these. Meanwhile, determine if your script, service, film, product, talent or whatever, is good enough. Also, find something to be grateful about. Then, celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control And You Can Master Anything!

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