Category Archives: Attention

How To Get Along With Others Part 2

“Recently, I mentioned a young woman, I’d overheard having a  discussion with an older gentleman. She mentioned she liked a group meeting she had attended the day before. His immediate reply was, ‘I don’t like that group.’  What could he have done instead?

He could ask questions. He COULD have asked questions without wanting or needing or bothering to give an opinion. If he wished to acknowledge and respect her he could have asked, ‘that’s great, what do  you like about it?’ He could encourage her to speak more.

He could have said, ‘fascinating! Will you go back? What did you discover? How did you find out about it?’ Were there many people?’  He could’ve been curious! He could have listened. Instead, he rendered an opinion that was not asked for. She was sharing.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes – Create A Good Connection

She was telling him something she discovered and enjoyed. He immediately dissed it and her. I don’t think he intended to. He was just unaware of what he was doing. So many of us are AND much of the time. We are too eager to give our point of view.  Get it?

We say what we like or don’t when someone voices theirs. We don’t need to. They didn’t ask us for our opinon. If they do, we can give it without being offensive. We could say something like, ‘I am glad you really like it. It’s just not for me.’ We validate and add information.

We could say, ‘marvelous, it didn’t resonate with me’, or ‘I have been going to a different group I like. I fit in better in my group.’ Why do you suppose when you say ‘I like pizza’ someone feels compelled to  say, ‘not me!’ Perhaps you have do this. I certainly have. Silly human.

People Tend To Like People Who Like The Same Things They Do

Instead of saying, ‘wow. really what do you like about it?  Why do you like? I haven’t really enjoyed it that much but I’d be curious. Maybe I’m missing something? How do you like it? What toppings?’ Get it? We can listen and request more information. Let them share!

It is about how we treat others. Do we listen to listen, or do we listen just so we can give our opinion? Do we listen just to speak? If you want to be respectful, be curious. Say, ‘fascinating, why do you think that?’ They are entitled to have an opinion. Let them have it freely.

We don’t have to argue over every like and dislike. If you both looked at a painting you don’t have to go to battle over it. You can simply say, ‘what do you like about it? Oh, that is interesting. I hadn’t thought about it that way. I hadn’t noticed that.’ Encourage them.

Like Attracts Like – Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

If they ask you if you liked it, you can be honest without being disrespectful or hurting them. You can say, ‘I don’t feel about it as you do. It doesn’t speak to me in that way.’ You are entitled to your opinion to. Just know when to, and when not to, give it. GET IT?

Treat people with respect. How respectful are you? We don’t need to give our opinion to everyone all the time. I know, we want to. So do I.  We just need to listen more. Give our attention and respect to the people we associate with. Let them know we value them.

Then we help them feel valued and help them feel understood. Then they feel listened to. Be interested in the other person. When their interests are in your heart  they will feel it. They will feel comfortable and like being around you if you make them feel good.

Attention – Respect – Kindness – Caring – Love – Acceptance Last

Go first. The responsibility is always on us. It is on them too if they know these principles and practices. Not everyone does. Be an example. Be a role model. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be kind, understanding, patient and accepting. You can be.

When you give your full undivided attention to another and really listen without simply wanting to speak they will feel it. Your nonverbal behaviors will demonstrate you are a respectful, good person. They really will feel it. WHY? Because so few people do this.

People want to shout out their opinions on social media and in public more and more, it seems. We don’t have to oppose each other. We can embrace each other and even our differences. It is a choice. Ask questions. Further the conversation rather than end it. Be curious.

You Win More Bears With Honey Than With Vinegar

You don’t have to, of course, but if you want a deeper rapport with people who are important to you AND those you’d like to be more important , then you will really listen more and speak less. Discover how you can share your point of view in meaningful ways. Connect with others first and they will want to hear from you, too. It is reciprocal. Make you moments magical with many more people. Celebrate everything!”

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Thinking Its A Problem Makes It A Problem Part 2

“Remember, when you say, ‘this is a problem’, it is! You declare a situation troublesome. How bad you say it is, makes it so. When you say, ‘I have a problem’, you are affirming that you have a problem.  The reality is there is a situation, or a person, you describe as bad.

The reality is, it is neither good nor bad. It is nothing until you declare it as something. Prior to human presence on the planet, all sorts of things happened. No one here to judge them. Your judgment biases the situation. It colors or flavors it. It makes it worse than it is.

How you represent it, how you think, feel and speak about it makes it so. It is whatever you think and declare it to be. If you want to change it, change how you think, feel and speak about it. Reframe it into an opportunity to discover new things. Shrink it down in size!

Today You Are Where Your Previous Thoughts Brought You 

Get it? It is whatever it is. Your resistance to it makes it what you label it. It is whatever it is! You lock it in as a difficulty when you declare it one. Otherwise, it really is an opportunity to discover your resourcefulness. You can find your strength and learn something.

If you want different results, change what is going on inside you. Change your thinking. Stop labeling it as bad. Call it a situation. You have an opportunity to explore options you might not otherwise have . You have a learning opportunity. You don’t need to lie about it.

You don’t deceive yourself. You notice it and reframe it. You look for the good within it and accentuate the good. You emphasize your strengths, not your weaknesses. You explore your ability to rise to the occasion, think positive and not let things take you down.

Tomorrow You Will Be Where Today’s Thoughts Take You

If you’re so inclined you can call it a blessing. Everything this side of death can be considered a blessing. You’re alive. That is better than not being alive. You go through experiences, ups and downs, as an adventurer. Act like an adventurer. They like challenges. Do you?

It’s our desire for everything to be ‘perfect’ that screws us up when things go awry. We don’t want anything to come along and upset the status quo. We want things the same. We want them comfortable. Nothing wrong in that but things change. Flexibility is desirable.

Do you understand it is within your control, and ability, to call it whatever you want to call it that serves you and supports you. Some people call it a ‘big’ issue. It really is not unless you decide it is. A ‘big issue’ is another representation of it as a problem, Change this!

You Can’t Escape Your Thoughts – What You Focus On Expands

Instead of making a mountain out of a molehill, make the mountain a molehill! Shrink down the size. Make it manageable in your mind. When you do you’re more resourceful. You can more readily, easily and swiftly resolve it when it isn’t looming or overwhelming.

Change what you are doing and you DO get different results. If you always think the way you always thought you keep getting what you always got. It’s all about how you represent it. How you think, feel and speak about it that makes it so. Get it? So reframe it.

Learn how to reframe it. Call it something different. It is whatever you think and declare it to be. If you want to things to change, change how you think and feel and speak about things. Reframe it into an opportunity to discover new things. Shrink it down in size.

Thoughts Become Things – Thinking Makes It So

Want different results, change what is going on inside! I repeat. If you want your life to change you must change things in your life.  Doing the same thing repeatedly isn’t getting you the results you want. Find the good. Accentuate the positive. Make it so!

Be grateful you are alive! Be grateful you are able to experience ALL situations. Look at them as a blessing. When you are able to do this everything in your life transforms for the better. What you seek you will find. Want a problem? You can have one. Want an incredible life? Then celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Make The Invisible Visible!

“You are in a process. Life is like a river. There are bends and turns, dams and obstacles, calm water, rapid water, dry spots, debris, pollution and clean, fresh water. There are plants, fish, birds, humans and animals in and about the water. You will discover many things.

You are in a process. You can’t see around the bend. You may not know how deep. There is so much you don’t know. There is much you can become presently aware of. Some people love white water challenges, some calm and serene water. You can enjoy anything.

What you pay attention to, what you emphasize, determines your experience in the moment. If you are inside your head feeling doubt, worry, fear, anxiety while on the river you are missing all the good on the outside. You are only paying attention to inner turmoil.

Life Is – Life Happens – Life Is Flow – Life Is Moment To Moment 

You may be reacting to an outer trigger, something in the river, and you went inside and suffer. The river is what the river is. Some would enjoy it, even while you suffer. Reactions are part of our conditioning. It is better to learn to respond than react. Get it?

Enjoy the present moment! Pay attention. Become aware. You have choices about what you continue to pay attention to. It may have started as a reaction, but most science says our feelings, good or bad, end in about 90 seconds. We keep them going by what we do.

So if you suffer, it is you doing it. If you feel marvelous, it is you doing it. Realize this. Become aware that what you put your attention on grows and lingers. You, and you alone, keep suffering alive. Stop it if you want to be free of it. Shift where you put your attention. Shift!

Fall Into The Present Moment – Celebrate Now – Become Grateful

Stop perpetuating the ‘bad’ and begin to perpetuate the good. Even the ‘bad’ can be a blessing if you choose to look at it that way. It is always, only, up to you. You may not have learned how to do this in the past, but it is never to later to learn and to transform!

Unless, of course, you believe it is too late. Get it? You must shift. This is your choice . If you want to feel better you must engage the mind and feelings and behaviors in doing what brings the positive feelings, thoughts and behaviors about. Same is true about results.

You are on a river moving toward your destination; your purpose, goal or ambition. You are closing in on what you want to achieve, as long as you are moving towards it. Along the way the river may become turbulent. It may be difficult. So, you need to keep faith.

You Are A Creator – For Goodness Sake Act Like One – Choose

There is always darkness before the dawn!  There are always rapids and troubled waters. Keep the faith! Keep doing what you do to move forward. Don’t go inside and worry.  Don’t succumb to fear or doubt. Push forward and prevail. No one ever wins by quitting!

You can’t yet see that which is around the bend. You can’t see what is invisible but you can know it is there and that you will get to it. You can become certain that you will make what you want happen. Become aware that making it is up to you and not luck or others.

Declare what you want.  Pay attention and emphasize what you want! Tell the story you want, even though it may be presently invisible. From our thoughts our creations arise. Let go of the rest. What you focus on, where your attention goes, is what you get.

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

What you focus on it IS what expands. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO EXPAND? What do you want to experience? Decide. Then focus on creating that.  Create more good. Create more blessings. Create more fun. Create abundance and enjoyment! Look for the good. Look for the blessings. Focus. Be thankful. Feel grateful! You can be do and have what you want when you celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

The Destination Is The Journey Not Something Different PT 2

“Do you remember as a child, how long the wait for your holiday or birthday seemed to be? Many children ask repeatedly during travels with family or friends,  ‘when will we get there? When will we be there?’ They missed out on enjoying the journey! They’re in pain.

They suffer for the duration of the trip because they want the destination too much. As a result they miss many incredible things all along the way. I know I did. I didn’t appreciate the sightseeing sounds, the stops and side trips. Did you ever do this? Many have.

I missed all the good in the journey because I wanted so desperately to get to the destination. Then everything would be good, I thought. Do you do this now? Do you think when I have enough money, or health or the love of my life, then all will be okay? It won’t. Yes I know you think it. Instead, YOU must change!  We’ll continue in the next post.: Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

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Awareness, Circumstances, Transformation, And You!

“If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Whether by intention or not. Trying circumstances can be used to further your sleep or wake you up. They are catalysts for profound change if you are aware. All times, can be used to further awareness if you choose. It’s up to you.

It is only up to you whether you choose to awaken or slumber longer. Events are whatever we judge them to be. They are nothing in and of themselves. Earthquakes and forest fires weren’t bad prior to people deciding them so. They just were. We, and circumstances, just are.

Consciousness is a deciding factor. Awareness is an opening for more awareness. Anything can be, or can be used as a catalyst, purposefully, or inadvertently. What you do with it, is what you do with it in your journey. You are the deciding factor how things are.

Exploration Is The Doorway To Adventure – Awareness The Key

Be grateful for all. Everything is a blessing. Once you understand that, all IS a blessing. Live with gratitude for each moment. Allow the moments to unfold. Whatever happens, everything will ultimately work out for the best. Keep the faith. Celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

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Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

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Let Go And Live!

“Become aware that you can drop your investment in your troubles. Stop living in the past and fearing the future. Become aware. Live in the present. Caste your burden on the divine. Put it on source. Give it over. Let it go. Come to the now. Become light and lite. Just be.

Find your inner peace. Meditate. Your perceptions, based on your past, limited, negative conditioning keeps you burdened and down. Free yourself. Stop living in fear, anger, regret, anxiety or doubt. Drop into the present and experience the now. Become renewed.

Refresh. Awareness is the key. Stop focusing on the less than glorious. Let go. Let it all go. Take moments to just attend to your breath. Breathe slowly. Focus on life breath coming into your lungs and going out. Feel the rise and fall of your belly with each breath.

Meditation Is Celebrating Yourself – You Are Divine – Be Aware

Whenever distracted simply return your attention to your breath. Spend 5, 10 15, minutes simply, gently, attending to your in and out breath. Let everything else go. Let it fade away. Gently attend to your breathing. Do this daily, at least once or twice. Find peace.

Notice your breath and stay with it. When finished allow yourself to carry the peacefulness, you enjoyed, into your day. The more you let go and meditate the longer you will feel the benefits. You will discover eventually ‘the peace that passes all understanding.’ As you continue during your day be grateful and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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What’s Stopping You’ is a life changing 22 minute audio MP3 that helps you go beyond limitations, break through obstacles and make positive changes to get the results you want! Get it! It is Free!

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

DO YOU WANT MENTORING AND COACHING ? Those interested in learning more, come join me now in Mind Design™! Send email or leave comments, but reach out NOW! New programs available.

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Do This To Be Happier, Healthier And More Successful!

“When you get what you ask for do you remember to be grateful? I got what I manifested. I received something complete with surprises. So it didn’t come in exactly the form I expected but it did come to me. I made it happen. Took me awhile to notice I got it.

After a bit I did realize I got what I wanted. Then I began to celebrate. I mention this because sometimes we miss noticing we got what we wanted because of the form it arrives in. That is why it is always best to celebrate everything! I do mean everything, too!

The more we are grateful for big and small things the more our life is enjoyable. The more we FIND to emphasize and acknowledge the more we become aware of how blessed we are. Be grateful and express gratitude. Really take the time. Really build your list.

Be Not Critical Of Things But Be Grateful For All Things

It is easy to say, ‘I am grateful for everything’. It is another to actually be grateful for everything. Get into the habit of saying thank you for everything, moment to moment, throughout your day. Say it inside and outside your head. Speak it. Love it. Embrace the goodness.

Once we begin to open our mind, our eyes and our heart to all the goodness surrounding us we begin to see more and more of it. That is what our brains do for us. Our reticular Activating System (RAS) finds more examples to delight in. It finds matches for what we pay most attention to. Want to be happier, healthier and more successful? Practice gratitude. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

PS I’m here to help you create and live the best life you deserve!

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What’s Stopping You’ is a life changing 22 minute audio MP3 that helps you go beyond limitations, break through obstacles and make positive changes to get the results you want! Get it! It is Free!

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

DO YOU WANT MENTORING AND COACHING ? Those interested in learning more, come join me now in Mind Design™! Send email or leave comments, but reach out NOW! New programs available.

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