Category Archives: Respect

How To Get Along With Others Part 2

“Recently, I mentioned a young woman, I’d overheard having a  discussion with an older gentleman. She mentioned she liked a group meeting she had attended the day before. His immediate reply was, ‘I don’t like that group.’  What could he have done instead?

He could ask questions. He COULD have asked questions without wanting or needing or bothering to give an opinion. If he wished to acknowledge and respect her he could have asked, ‘that’s great, what do  you like about it?’ He could encourage her to speak more.

He could have said, ‘fascinating! Will you go back? What did you discover? How did you find out about it?’ Were there many people?’  He could’ve been curious! He could have listened. Instead, he rendered an opinion that was not asked for. She was sharing.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes – Create A Good Connection

She was telling him something she discovered and enjoyed. He immediately dissed it and her. I don’t think he intended to. He was just unaware of what he was doing. So many of us are AND much of the time. We are too eager to give our point of view.  Get it?

We say what we like or don’t when someone voices theirs. We don’t need to. They didn’t ask us for our opinon. If they do, we can give it without being offensive. We could say something like, ‘I am glad you really like it. It’s just not for me.’ We validate and add information.

We could say, ‘marvelous, it didn’t resonate with me’, or ‘I have been going to a different group I like. I fit in better in my group.’ Why do you suppose when you say ‘I like pizza’ someone feels compelled to  say, ‘not me!’ Perhaps you have do this. I certainly have. Silly human.

People Tend To Like People Who Like The Same Things They Do

Instead of saying, ‘wow. really what do you like about it?  Why do you like? I haven’t really enjoyed it that much but I’d be curious. Maybe I’m missing something? How do you like it? What toppings?’ Get it? We can listen and request more information. Let them share!

It is about how we treat others. Do we listen to listen, or do we listen just so we can give our opinion? Do we listen just to speak? If you want to be respectful, be curious. Say, ‘fascinating, why do you think that?’ They are entitled to have an opinion. Let them have it freely.

We don’t have to argue over every like and dislike. If you both looked at a painting you don’t have to go to battle over it. You can simply say, ‘what do you like about it? Oh, that is interesting. I hadn’t thought about it that way. I hadn’t noticed that.’ Encourage them.

Like Attracts Like – Birds Of A Feather Flock Together

If they ask you if you liked it, you can be honest without being disrespectful or hurting them. You can say, ‘I don’t feel about it as you do. It doesn’t speak to me in that way.’ You are entitled to your opinion to. Just know when to, and when not to, give it. GET IT?

Treat people with respect. How respectful are you? We don’t need to give our opinion to everyone all the time. I know, we want to. So do I.  We just need to listen more. Give our attention and respect to the people we associate with. Let them know we value them.

Then we help them feel valued and help them feel understood. Then they feel listened to. Be interested in the other person. When their interests are in your heart  they will feel it. They will feel comfortable and like being around you if you make them feel good.

Attention – Respect – Kindness – Caring – Love – Acceptance Last

Go first. The responsibility is always on us. It is on them too if they know these principles and practices. Not everyone does. Be an example. Be a role model. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be kind, understanding, patient and accepting. You can be.

When you give your full undivided attention to another and really listen without simply wanting to speak they will feel it. Your nonverbal behaviors will demonstrate you are a respectful, good person. They really will feel it. WHY? Because so few people do this.

People want to shout out their opinions on social media and in public more and more, it seems. We don’t have to oppose each other. We can embrace each other and even our differences. It is a choice. Ask questions. Further the conversation rather than end it. Be curious.

You Win More Bears With Honey Than With Vinegar

You don’t have to, of course, but if you want a deeper rapport with people who are important to you AND those you’d like to be more important , then you will really listen more and speak less. Discover how you can share your point of view in meaningful ways. Connect with others first and they will want to hear from you, too. It is reciprocal. Make you moments magical with many more people. Celebrate everything!”

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

How To Get Along With Others

“A lot of us have friction with family and friends. Many get into unwanted and unnecessary, even terrible, arguments. Would you like to know how to get along better? Nothing will change unless you do something different from what you’re currently doing. Get it?

You may or may not like the answer BUT it works! It actually works great but there is a caveat. It doesn’t work if you don’t implement it. If you want your life to change you must change some of the things you are thinking and doing in your life! You must put this to use!

Getting along begins with you! You must go first. You make the effort. Never expect the other to go first. They follow your lead if they are willing. This way you put an end to your unrealistic expectations and you are in control of yourself.

Respect People’s Feelings It Could Mean Everything To Them

You can only be in charge of you. The mistake people make is thinking they can control others. If they don’t think it, somehow they still attempt it. Let go of control. Let go of manipulation. Be the kind of person people naturally want to get a long with.

Just the other day I was at a gathering. There were a couple of people there who were in support groups. An older gentleman and a younger woman. Both were absolutely delightful. At one point the young woman shared an exciting new group she discovered

She very gladly told this gentleman during the discussion. He immediately dismissed her comment by stating, ‘I don’t like that group. It does nothing for me.’ I remained silent as I was not party to the conversation and merely overheard a portion of it.

Control Your Emotions And Your Mouth And Respect Others

However, I could see the young woman take the ‘hit’ immediately. I felt for her. She is enthused. She is eager to share. She made an exciting new discovery for herself and this gentleman squashed it no sooner than she spoke it. I get that he did not intend to. Still, he did.

He was not aware of what he did nor how it affected her. He was just being himself. My point? Be sensitive. Be aware. You win more bears with honey than with vinegar. He could’ve simply said, ‘marvelous you found a group you enjoy.’ He didn’t have to express his opinion.

But that is what WE do. We express opinions. We even do it when others aren’t interested or when they are looking for some support. There is nothing wrong in having an opinion as long as one realizes, that is all it is. An opinion is not gospel. It is not a fact. It’s opinion!

Listen With Your Heart And Your Ears – Accept And Respect 

People argue opinions as facts on social media all the time. They unfriend people who they get upset and disagree with. That’s their choice. My point? Don’t go there. Stop creating friction. Learn tolerance. Learn patience. Learn how to support others. Be kind.

We cannot change their minds. Hence, the truism, ‘you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make the horse drink’. Yes, you can influence others and they may change their OWN mind, but you can’t change it for them. Instead of attempting control, be nice.

BE caring. Be supportive. Be kind. Be the kind of listener you hope to get at times. Stop inflicting your opinions and you will get further, faster, with some people. An author friend, opened his book with a very powerful statement. I read it in my teens or early twenties.

Speak Only To Bless Heal Prosper Inspire Motivate And Transform

‘You can please 50% of the people 50% of the time. The other 50% you will never please. So, you might as well learn to please yourself.’ I include it to say, know the odds of your influence. The percentages may not be correct, that isn’t the point. Stop trying to control others.

Be the change you want to see in others and the world. Be accepting. No, I am not saying accept hatred and violence. You know better than that. I am saying, in the course of normal conversation with family, friends and even strangers, have integrity and be respectful.

Be thankful and appreciative. Say ‘how wonderful’ and ‘how marvelous’ instead of raining on their parade. Attempt to not correct them but allow others to find their own way. Some people want to be happy sharing good news without being one upped or dissed. Get it? If you are grateful for your family and friends, and the opportunity to share, approach them differently. Be kind and giving. Be receptive. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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I have a free Audio Mp3 gift for you!
GET YOUR FREE GIFT NOW – CLICK THIS LINK 

What’s Stopping You’ is a life changing 22 minute audio MP3 that helps you go beyond limitations, break through obstacles and make positive changes to get the results you want! Get it! It is Free!

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
When You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

DO YOU WANT MENTORING AND COACHING ? Those interested in learning more, come join me now in Mind Design™! Send email or leave comments, but reach out NOW! New programs available.

Subscribe to blog!  Hit the Like Button. Want to help others? Spread the word.  Share these blogposts with others.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch