Category Archives: Conflict

Stop Avoiding Troubles! See Them For What They Are

“Most people try to avoid challenges and obstacles. They fear them. Worry about them. They do anything and everything to have them not happen. As a result they are negative goal setting. The continue to create and attract the very things they try to avoid. It is true!

We get what we focus on. If we attempt to avoid something we are attracting it as much as if we are wanting it. You are using the mind to bring about what you think about. In and of themselves there is nothing wrong with problems and challenges. They help us grow!

Weather changes from sunny and warm to rainy and cool and it is good for living things on the earth. When conditions become extreme we don’t like it, but we can survive most of it. Heck people migrated to cold climates and then invented heating. Get it?

It Is Whatever You Perceive It To Be – Your Beliefs Run The Show

Necessity breeds innovation. Problems provide us opportunity we may otherwise never see. Life will always provide us challenge. We all fall down. Successful people, in life, get back up no matter how many times they fall. This is what we each must learn to do. Get up!

Don’t stay down. Stop focusing on hardship and begin to focus on what you want instead. If you know what you don’t want, great! Now turn your back on it and focus on what you do want. Keep your attention of what you want to create and persist. Focus on it!

Learn to embrace problems as opportunity to grow, to evolve, and to go beyond present circumstances and limitations. Learn something new and transform yourself. When you begin to view everything as an opportunity and as a blessing then there are no problems. Get it?

Speak Only To Bless Heal Prosper Inspire And Motivate

It is what every you decide it it. It is whatever you determine it to be. Your perceptions, and what you say about it, determine what you experience. Learn to talk differently. Learn to tell different stories. Focus on the good not the bad. Declare it all good! Declare it all a blessing and you will absolutely transform. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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What To Do When Someone Rags On You!

“Far be it from me to tell you what to do or how to live. There are numerous choices and responses when someone is verbally wailing on you or creating a hassle. You have to choose. This option has worked for me. I am happy to share. It is quite simple.

It is not always easy. When some assaults you verbally, warranted or not, I find the best response is to hold my tongue. Adopt the attitude that they are correct and have useful feedback for to learn. It is really an opportunity. The verbal attack will pass eventually.

I forgive them and myself for harboring any thoughts of revenge. What I discovered long ago, is that, when someone unleashes their fury on you, and blames or accuses you, typically it is misplaced anger or some emotion. Firing back only exasperates it.

How Others Judge You May Be More About Them Than You

Responding in kind, or attempting to defend, only brings more as it pushes them into fight or flight. So hold you tongue. Simply say, ‘Okay, thanks. I hear you.’ or something to that effect. Watch your tone and your non-verbals.  You can’t look menacing and say this.

You have to really convey that you get it. It is all okay. Thanks for the feedback. ‘I’m sorry’. I do not mean you assume as passive role or give in to them, but if the relationship is meaningful to you, it is best not to cross swords, but let their fury pass. Then discuss it.

Honor the person with love and acceptance. Your behavior may not make any difference to them. They may still unleash but if you are smart, you will take what they are saying as an opportunity to self-reflect and see if there isn’t some merit to what they say.

Be Open To Feedback – Be Willing To Learn And To Change

There usually is, even if it isn’t as exaggerated as they make it. The most important thing to do is look for the gold within the other person and not get caught up in negativity. Accentuate the positive and shower the person silently with love. This helps you the most.

As long as their behavior doesn’t constitute a pattern of verbal or physical abuse,  but the occasional ranting of a loved one, this can work wonders. It can help heal and smooth over disruptive or explosive arguments. Be grateful. Be compassionate.

Be kind and loving. Allow them to be who they are, even when  you may not like it. Hopefully, they will learn to do the same for you. BUT if not, you have chosen a higher road. Believe it or not, they may actually be correct in their assessments, too. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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The Parable Of God The Farmer And The Wheat Crop

“So many readers responded favorably, I thought I’d share another story. God was minding his business when approached by an old, weathered farmer who had an axe to grind. God could see the man was not pleased. ‘ What gives?’ Asked God. ‘Need something?’

The man said quite angrily, ‘You may be the  big guy, you may be top dog, god, yada yada yada ,who flung the stars into the sky and created the world, but you don’t know the first thing about farming. You are not a farmer at all! You have got a lot to learn, pal!’

God asked, ‘What do you suggest I do? The farmer said, ‘Give me a year! One bloody year. Leave everything to me. Don’t interfere. Let me run it. I’ll take care of everything. You do what I say because I know what works. You’ll see how it works. You big enough to do it?’

What We Call Failure Is Necessary –  Through Struggles We Learn

‘At the end of a year there will be no poverty at all. You will see!’ God was game. He gave the farmer one year. The farmer asked god for the best of everything. Great weather. No storms, no lighting or thunder. No high winds. No high heat. Everything was perfect.

When the farmer wanted rain it rained. When he asked for sun he got sun. The wheat crops were growing fast and high. They grew taller than they ever had. Everything was perfect and comfortable. Everything was easy and the farmer was thrilled and delighted.

He approached god and said, ‘What did I tell you. Take a look at these crops. Bigger and better than ever. Did I tell you, or what? We have a bountiful harvest coming that will feed people for a decade! Aren’t you glad you put me in charge? You learned something I bet.’

Man Needs Difficulties – They Are Necessary For Health

When the crops were harvested there was no wheat inside. Empty! The farmer was shocked and dismayed. He asked god, ‘What happened? What went wrong?’ God said, ‘Because there was no conflict, no storms, no challenges to the crops, they didn’t grow’.

‘You avoided everything that would cause them to grow strong. You wanted everything perfect and comfortable which made the wheat impotent. Storms, high winds, dry spells, lightening all challenge the crop and help it grow strong and firm and vital. You avoided that.’

“Struggle is necessary for it to be vital. Challenge is good for the soul of the wheat.’ Don’t be like the farmer. Don’t try to escape challenge learn that it is as necessary as night is to the day. Muscles grow through resistance training. So do we. Understand this and you will grow strong and move forward faster. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Believing This Lie Harms You Big Time!

“If your life sucks, this is a huge why. A friend posted this Carl Jung quote. ‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.’ This is the issue for most all people in a nutshell. Your unconscious processes run the show.  You don’t!

How you handle the issue is crucial. Your subconscious does what it does in direct conflict to what you want. You try to get ahead but something prevents you. You want to be happy but think and feel crappy. You end up in debt or doing the same bad habits repeatedly.

Too many, for too long have blamed themselves for the conflict between conscious desire and direction and prior, chronic conditioning. It isn’t sabotage. It isn’t yourself fighting yourself in darkness. It is your brain carrying out automatic learned habits.

Stop Standing In Your Own Way – Get Out Of Your Way

Acquired thinking, feeling and doing habits that do run the show. The subconscious mind carries out all functions. That is its purpose. The conscious mind directs it. Just as a rudder on a large powerful vessel can steer the entire vessel. You have to know how to work it.

Unconscious processes do what they do, until you alter or change them. We have grown up conditioned to blame them rather than to embrace them. Once you embrace your own self for being an incredible learning machine that serves you, it will be different.

Many therapies exasperate the ‘issue’ by labeling it sabotage. The public seems to have adopted this less than glorious, and less than productive, manner of thinking. How you think, how you relate and direct the subconscious makes all the difference. It is crucial!

If We Defend Our Habits We’ve No Intention Of Changing Them

You don’t resolve the conflict by blaming yourself for sabotaging yourself. It drives a wedge between you and your subconscious. It keeps the rift wide and alive. There is a better way. Align. Bring the two together. Heal the rift. Learn to direct the mind how you want.

The subconscious mind is a faithful servant and will do whatever you teach it to do. It is already doing what you learned, without your approval or awareness, while you were growing up. That isn’t your fault. It is however, if you do nothing about it but blame it.

Now is the time you can change from deep within. You can heal conflict and resolve differences. You can befriend yourself and discover an incredible new you. You can be the person of your dreams, happier, freer, complete; living a wonderful life!

I Think It Is Time To Be Happy Again – Enjoy Life Now

You need to learn how to direct your mind so it delivers what you want instead of what is was conditioned to deliver. You need to teach it new productive habits so you start getting what you want instead of bad habits, negativity and worse. Get it? You need to do it.

I’ve shared how to do that, in blogs, videos, seminars and workshops. But no one can do it for you. It’s time to stop being a victim of your own mind and become the victor of your mind. Learn to be thankful for your unconscious processes. Discover how wonderful it is and you are. Get it? You must take action. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

If You Learn Self Control You Can Master Anything!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.