Category Archives: Suffering

Who You Say You Are Makes And Incredible Difference!

“One can believe that we operate from our beliefs and perceptions, our filters, and that we create everything 100% in our reality, or that things happen and we react from our previous habituated mental conditioning and we have no say in reality. We are Victor or Victim,

You can believe you can learn to positively and productively respond to whatever circumstances arise or you are helpless and powerless to do so. You can choose to accept 100% responsibility in choosing how to respond what life offers even if you aren’t in control of it.

How well you fare in life, how happy and successful you are, depends on how you choose to view yourself, the world around you, and whether you’re ‘at cause’ and help make things happen, or ‘at effect’, and are a victim of happenstance. What you think is what you get!

Perception Is Everything – Your Beliefs Make It So – Be Aware

If you decide you are 100% responsible it means you account for everything, good and bad, that happens and you attempt to make the best of it. You aren’t a victim. You take charge and respond as best you can when difficulties arise. You choose to be resourceful.

You are either a victor or a victim of whatever happens. A victim has no say in making it different and reacts from habituated thoughts, feelings and behaviors. One choice comes from a place of power. The other does not. So, So are you able? Can you chart your own course?

Can you create the life you want? Are you a victor or a victim.? Whatever you may have decided previously can be changed, or not, depending on whether one believes you can change it or can not. How successful and happy you are depends on your mindset.

Stop Struggling Start Living – Create Your Best Life Ever

These questions are meant to help you clarify which mindset you live from. Which mindset do you want  to live from?  What are you willing to settle for? What will you stop tolerating? When will you begin to create what you want? You know your answers. So….

Are you powerful enough to make changes or must you live as a cork bobbing on the water driven by the wind and waves? It is either up to you or it isn’t, right? Choose! It is a choice each of us makes, or doesn’t. Whatever you do, or don’t do, there you are! It is up to you!

You live from your choices or decisions. Whatever you decide is what you get to fulfill; victor or victim. If you play the victim role your choices are limited. Whether or not you are actually responsible, if you act as if you are, you have more choices available.

What You Say Is What You Get – Success Is A Decision Away

As a victor you have the power to choose how to respond, how to make it different and how to feel differently! You are in charge. This an important distinction between a winning mindset and one that is not. You want a winning, victor, champion mindset, do you not?

More next time. Meanwhile, decide whether or not you are in charge of your thinking, feeling, behaving and your life. It is all up to you and your decisions. Success is only a decision away. Choose that which enables you to create and live the life of your dreams. Take action. If you say you are a victor, act like it! Live from your power. Live from gratitude. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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You Will Suffer Until You Realize This!

“The timeless principle is, there is cause and effect. You are the cause of the effects. You make things happen. From within so without. Yet, most people have it backwards. They think there are external causes that they are at the effect of. Hence, they suffer.

It is true we think there are outer circumstances and it is accurate that there are influences. However, we react or respond to these through the filters of our brain and mind. We have neurological and perception filters. We see through the filters of what we believe.

We see through the filters of the conclusions we have made about the world and our experience. What we experience in life simply goes to prove us accurate.  What we believe we see. What we don’t believe we don’t experience. Many believe the same things.

People Think It Is If I See It I Will Believe It – That Is Backwards

We grew up in a culture. We were educated by others. Beliefs and perceptions get handed down purposely or otherwise. People get stuck victims of circumstances. Those who succeed and prevail are those who most likely put themselves at cause and make it happen.

Everything happens from within you. This is the great teaching of spiritual masters through the ages. This theme runs through all traditions but it is difficult for most people to get it because it requires one shift away from their conditioning to new thinking.

It requires one take TOTAL RESPONSIBILITY for everything that happens in their life. Most people balk at this notion because they have been preconditioned to think things happen to them. They don’t. They happen because of us. Let’s pretend for a moment.

Your Beliefs Cause You To See What You Do And Don’t – Filters

EVEN if this were not true it would be a useful frame of mind to adopt because instead of whining and complaining about things the person who takes total responsibility would take steps to change what they didn’t want into what they did want. They’d take charge.

They wouldn’t be a victor they’d be a champion. Get it? When you accept responsibility for everything it means you run the show. It puts you in the seat of active power. Wouldn’t you prefer to be a champion than a loser? Mindset rules all of our life.

It determines our feelings and our actions. Hence, mindset determines the results we get or don’t get. ‘If it is to be it is up to  me!’ Is a great saying because it let’s you know WHO IS responsible. You are! I am! Get it? Take responsibility and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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The Parable Of God The Farmer And The Wheat Crop

“So many readers responded favorably, I thought I’d share another story. God was minding his business when approached by an old, weathered farmer who had an axe to grind. God could see the man was not pleased. ‘ What gives?’ Asked God. ‘Need something?’

The man said quite angrily, ‘You may be the  big guy, you may be top dog, god, yada yada yada ,who flung the stars into the sky and created the world, but you don’t know the first thing about farming. You are not a farmer at all! You have got a lot to learn, pal!’

God asked, ‘What do you suggest I do? The farmer said, ‘Give me a year! One bloody year. Leave everything to me. Don’t interfere. Let me run it. I’ll take care of everything. You do what I say because I know what works. You’ll see how it works. You big enough to do it?’

What We Call Failure Is Necessary –  Through Struggles We Learn

‘At the end of a year there will be no poverty at all. You will see!’ God was game. He gave the farmer one year. The farmer asked god for the best of everything. Great weather. No storms, no lighting or thunder. No high winds. No high heat. Everything was perfect.

When the farmer wanted rain it rained. When he asked for sun he got sun. The wheat crops were growing fast and high. They grew taller than they ever had. Everything was perfect and comfortable. Everything was easy and the farmer was thrilled and delighted.

He approached god and said, ‘What did I tell you. Take a look at these crops. Bigger and better than ever. Did I tell you, or what? We have a bountiful harvest coming that will feed people for a decade! Aren’t you glad you put me in charge? You learned something I bet.’

Man Needs Difficulties – They Are Necessary For Health

When the crops were harvested there was no wheat inside. Empty! The farmer was shocked and dismayed. He asked god, ‘What happened? What went wrong?’ God said, ‘Because there was no conflict, no storms, no challenges to the crops, they didn’t grow’.

‘You avoided everything that would cause them to grow strong. You wanted everything perfect and comfortable which made the wheat impotent. Storms, high winds, dry spells, lightening all challenge the crop and help it grow strong and firm and vital. You avoided that.’

“Struggle is necessary for it to be vital. Challenge is good for the soul of the wheat.’ Don’t be like the farmer. Don’t try to escape challenge learn that it is as necessary as night is to the day. Muscles grow through resistance training. So do we. Understand this and you will grow strong and move forward faster. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Take A Break From Your Troubles Or Else…

“What can you do when things are wrong? It isn’t going as you want it to go. You struggle and fret and it seems like all you do is spin your wheels. Your thoughts are negative and you feel worried, anxious or worse. Everything you attempt only seems to make it suck more.

What to do? Take a break! Yes, I know it seems counter intuitive. I know you may have many arguments for not wanting to, how you must do something and if you take a break it will only get worse. Except it already has been getting worse with your involvement.

Take a break! Take a breath. Take a day or two to chill, relax, and do something else. Give your mind some space and your batteries a chance to recharge. Seriously, go somewhere fun. Do something fun. Learn to let go and take your mind off it. It hasn’t helped anyway!

Worry Will Never Change The Outcome – Manage Your Mindset

So far, your efforts and thoughts haven’t been most productive. Take a break. You really have to learn how to divert your attention and replenish your positive energy. In hippie terms you’re vibrating ‘bad’ energy. Your thoughts and actions only contribute to the situation.

Remove them, at least temporarily. Go on a mini vacation. Really go and forget about your problems! Go hiking, swimming, golfing, fishing, camping…  Get away from things for awhile. AND while you are away have fun, relax, let go! Right now breathe in and out.

If you are thinking I can’t do that then that is what you must do. If you always do what you always did you will always get what you always got. If you are getting stuck in less than glorious yukkiness , doing more of the same won’t get you out. Get it? Do you?

Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You’re Right

Refresh and renew. Give yourself the opportunity to regroup. Reenergize. Reestablish your power. Focus on the positive. Release expectations of how it will work out. Let go. Give it a rest. Just know that it will certainly resolve. Somehow, someday! Take the break!

If it didn’t resolve to your satisfaction while you were away you will return more powerful, positive, optimistic, and refreshed. You will be better suited to handle the situation than from being overwhelmed. Get it?  Take care of yourself, first! Optimize yourself!  Refresh!

Things always do resolve. Good or bad, they will resolve. If it isn’t to your liking you can change it. If they do work out well or better than expected, all the worry won’t have helped. Learn to let go and trust. Know that everything always does work out! This is important.

Talking About Troubles Is Our Greatest Addiction – Talk About Joys

Learning to know and learning to trust that you will always land on your feet is an important mindset and skill to develop. Learning to let go and recharge are important to have as habits. When the shit hits the wall and it is overwhelming take a break, walk away. Recharge.

Return when refreshed and reenergized. You will be more positive and productive. If you are working on maintaining a powerful and positive mindset, at least a little bit each day, you will soon discover the benefits, if you haven’t already. So stay positive. Stay optimistic.

Know you can’t see how things will work out so stop expecting the worst. Read that again! When you expect the worst you create the worst, you reinforce the worst and attract it. Wouldn’t you rather create, attract and reinforce the positive? Read that again! Well?

Troubles Are Guidelines Not Stop Signs – Refresh And Renew

If so, then do what is necessary. Focus on gratitude and your blessings. Pay attention to what is working. Go have some fun. SOME real fun. Uplift and renew yourself. Put your mind on love, life, peace, blessings, delight, and know everything WILL work out. Trust, let go and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
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What To Do When You Are Stuck In A Bad Story You Keep Repeating PT 2

“In my recent post I asked, what is a fact and what isn’t? I asked where could you put your attention when things aren’t going right, so you can unlock positive, productive possibilities? Today, I’ll  elaborate on how you can make positive and powerful changes.

There are times when you feel down and beaten. Do not let yourself get too far down. It is important to take control, in spite of circumstances and do whatever you can to feel better. To feel your best. Negative thinking produces negative feelings and it loops.

You can spiral down or spiral up. It is always your choice. It may not seem like it is. You may have learned to feel helpless or that things are hopeless but you aren’t and they are not. That is only prior negative conditioning and it can be changed. Seek to change it.

You Are Not The Product Of Circumstances But Of Your Decisions

Do whatever positive things you can to feel better. Take a walk. Work in the garden or on some physical project. Exercise, do yoga, get a massage. Run, sing, jump. Hang in nature for awhile. RECLAIM YOUR POWER and feel as best as you are able to.

Even just a little better is a step in the right direction. Keep taking steps in the direction of feeling your best and you will eventually get there. Keep the faith when all seems hopeless. It is hard at first, especially, if you haven’t yet conditioned yourself to do this. You can!

So where else might you put your attention that would be more productive and feel better. Think and speak only to bless, heal and prosper. What story do you want to perpetuate? The habitual negative, limited one, or the one with positive possibilities?

Joy Is A Decision – Happiness Is A Choice – Decide To Live Well

You aren’t aware of what you aren’t aware of. You can’t be. But you can begin to become aware of the other possibilities that are available to you by shifting your attention. How might things be otherwise than how you think they are? Consider  this.

You may think you have the gospel version and that is because of your prior, chronic, limited, negative conditioning. You are locked in a thought habit. You think you know how it is because this is how you operate. Do something this time. Change what you think.

It is your choice! Energy flows where your attention goes. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CREATE? Ask yourself? HOW DO YOU WANT TO BE FEELING? What questions do you need to ask and where do you need to put your attention to do this? Then ask and then do!

Stop Reinforcing Negative Habits – Reinforce Positive Habits

Since you don’t know what you don’t know, STOP being limited by what you think you do know. Be willing to explore what else might be there you just haven’t considered yet. Explore. Search your inner resources. Make it a point to feel your best in spite of the obstacles.

Focus on gratitude. Focus on the little you have because when you do it expands. You can grow it. You can amplify the good or the bad it is your choice. How do you want to live? What do you want to feel like? It is always your decision and you determine the outcome.

The results you get are based on what you choose to focus on. Do you want to feel restricted, limited, and less than glorious or do you want to feel positive, powerful and unlimited. Either one depends on how you choose to use your mind. Start making positive changes.

Don’t Miss The Obvious Because Of The Obvious – Become Aware

DECIDE NOW to STOP REINFORCING NEGATIVE PATTERNS and scenarios. STOP living as a victim. Stop perpetuating your own limiting myths and start telling new stories. Start focusing on the good. Start living as a victor. Take charge!

When you take charge, when you deliberately focus your mind on the positive, when you live in gratitude for anything and everything, everything begins to change. You can make it all different. You can start living how you deserve to be living. DO IT! AND celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

What To Do When You Are Stuck In A Bad Story You Keep Repeating

“What is a fact and what isn’t? I spoke with someone who described a situation and said, ‘that is the way it is.’ They let me know  they weren’t expressing, ‘it is what it is’, but that their version of reality was the only version. They felt circumstances couldn’t be changed.

They (I use they to obscure the individual and gender) felt they knew how everything was and would play out. I reminded them to be careful what story they were telling and repeating to self and others. After all, this is how we interact. We describe our history; our day.

Be sensitive to what you continue to perpetuate and to what you want to create. Put a guard before your thoughts and words. SPEAK ONLY to bless, heal and prosper. SPEAK ONLY the version you want to perpetuate. Speak the truth in advance of it happening. Declare!

Most People Miss The Obvious – Because Of The Obvious

Let the rest go. For example, when you think, ‘I don’t have enough money. I can’t do it. I will never find real love. Business sucks. With this economy I will never succeed. I am so unlucky’ or any other limiting thought variation, ask yourself a question or two.

‘What am I not noticing right now, that I could be seeing, had I another level of awareness? What am I missing that I could soon begin to notice? What else might I pay attention to that I haven’t yet? How might things be otherwise than how I think they are?’

‘What am I not seeing, not noticing or considering, that’d make a difference? Where else can I put my attention that would be more productive? Consider this: you are simply reacting the way you typically react because of your prior, chronic, conditioning. Get it?

Become Alert – Become Aware – There Are Infinite Possibilities

You aren’t noticing what you don’t notice, hence you accept your version as the only version. I am not trying to get you to doubt yourself. I am trying to get you to doubt your limiting version. It is only a mental creation, as is anything else. You can believe it or not.

As Henry Ford stated, ‘whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.’ In other words, you don’t know, what you don’t know. There are many other possible avenues for you to pursue than you realize. It is important to be open to other versions. Get it, yet?

‘In how many different ways might I discover I am truly loved and can find an ideal mate?’ May be a question to consider. ‘How quickly can I discover that I have always had enough money, even when it didn’t seem like it, Things always work out and I land on my feet.’

Recognize When You Are Stuck In Your Own Loop And Change It

‘There are businesses all around me. Some do better, some worse. How soon might I be delighted, to begin, to discover the many different ways I can improve my  business success? ‘In how many different ways have things always worked out positively for me?’

EVEN IF I DIDN’T NOTICE IT YET! Awareness is an ongoing process. We can’t consider everything. We typically consider what we are used to considering. There are many things outside our present awareness we could consider instead. This is important!

More in the next blog. Now ask yourself, what can you feel grateful for? Discover your many blessings you haven’t fully validated, yet. Put your attention on the good. Fill your mind with what you have that IS working. Suspend putting attention on anything less than glorious. Begin now to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

The Secret To Transforming Your Problems Into Opportunities

“When times are difficult many people struggle with fear and worry. They imagine dastardly, negative scenarios, again and again, in their head. There is a way to move past this and get relief. Instead of derailing oneself, there is a means of getting back on track.

When troubled by people, events and circumstances, one of the useful things you can do is ask yourself, ‘What is the worst that can happen?’ Granted this sounds like a question you might want to avoid but it is important to consider. ‘What is the worst’?

Why on earth do you want to ask that? Because most people already see bad things. They imagine the world crumbling around them. What they don’t see is the ultimate bad thing. The reason you want to this is because, typically, the worst thing never, ever happens.

Don’t Let What You Fear Interfere With What You Are Able To Do

It just doesn’t. They simply live in worry and fear. They perpetuate the difficulties by focusing on them. Worry is actually negative programming. People program their minds. The more you worry and fear the more likely you are to bring those things about. Quit it!

Someone once said, everyone should go through bankruptcy. Again, why on earth wish this for anyone? Because, when you go through it you realize life isn’t over. People who are bankrupt still have a place to live, a car to drive, places to go, things to do and enjoy. They do!

It isn’t over! WE tend to think it will be, but it isn’t. I’ve had numerous friends go bankrupt and while not pleasant always, their lives did not change much. There may be some exceptions. For most who go through it, they  learn it is not as bad as thought, prior to it.

There Aren’t Obstacles In Your Path – Obstacles Are The Path 

When you deliberately ask, ‘what is the worst that can happen’ usually, you discover whatever ‘the very worst thing is’ you still survive. You are still okay, and you can, if you worked at it, handle it. Life isn’t over because of your imagined fears and worries.

They loom larger in the mind when not confronted. Once confronted the sting is gone. YOU took out the sting. You reduced the mountain to a mole hill. NOW You can break the problem down into bite size, manageable, steps or tasks, you can more easily and readily resolve.

It is the imagination running wild that is the difficulty. Gain control. Reign it in and you can again be on your way to being more productive and happy. You can resolve most any problem this way. Most of us, fear things that will never, ever happen. Stop it. Let go.

Strength Comes From Overcoming You Worries And Fears

Take control of your thoughts. Then you take control of your feelings. Yes, there are other things you may also do. I have discussed these in previous blogs. Read through and find them. I could share where but it is good to study and reread. It benefits.

Anytime confronted by problems consider them blessings and be grateful. This powerfully transforms them quite quickly. You don’t fear or worry about blessings and good things do you? Problems are their to teach you something and for you to discover what that is.

They are roadblocks slowing you down, to get your attention, so you can learn to be a better you. Be grateful. Be thankful. Feel truly blessed. Inside the obstacle is the seed of opportunity. You may have to look to find it, but that is why the obstacle is there. Trust. Let go. Enjoy. Delight. Feel blessed. Everything transforms when you celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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