Category Archives: Anger

Every Now And Then I Tell The F’ing Mirror Off!

“Recently I wrote: Do you realize every thought you think, every experience you have, each and every relationship, every ‘thing’ and everything in your life is a reflection of what goes on inside you? It is all a mirror to what is within you.” If you read it you know this.

Every now and then I have told the mirror off. I have let loose on another person, screamed at circumstances, or wailed on myself. I have, it is true. I have blamed the mirror, accused the mirror, resented the mirror, hated the mirror, you name it, I probably did it.

My point? We are human. We have feelings. Sometimes, these get ‘the better of us’ as the saying goes. We succumb, we let loose, we unleash. You know what? It is okay. It is human. Don’t get down on yourself for it. Why beat yourself up for beating yourself up?

Awareness Doesn’t Stop You From Making Mistakes …

If you harmed another with your words, you can ask for forgiveness or make amends. If that person is no longer living you can resolve it within yourself. My point? Take it easy on yourself for being human. We all mess up. We all stumbled and fell while learning to walk.

Okay, you got angry. You said things you meant or didn’t mean. Now you feel ashamed, embarrassed, hurt, angry or whatever. Notice it. Realize you may not want to feel this way again. Notice it. Forgive yourself. Accept that you are a human. Let the rest go. Move on.

Move on once you have actually let it go. When you release it you can be free of it. If you stuff it down and suppress it you will face it again sometime. What we resist, persists. So take a deep breath and drop it. Shrug your shoulders and release it. Feel free of it. Let go.

… Awareness Allows You To Learn From Mistakes 

Allow yourself the ability to ‘f’ things up. As long as we live we will make mistakes. Just attempt not to keep making the same ones. Make new mistakes instead. It is okay to be human because that is what you are. Most of us try to be perfect. We aren’t. Or, perhaps…

We are perfectly imperfect. We are beautiful with all of our flaws. Each ‘f’ed up time is a blessing and opportunity to let go. Challenges are blessings. The mirrors are blessings. Our mistakes are blessings. Everything is a blessing. When we can see that we are truly free. So, be glad. Be grateful. Learn to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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The Secret To Understanding And Stopping Arguing!

“All your arguments are you resisting what is. You resisting the flow. You resisting the other, who is you. You are both connected. You are mirrors of each other. It is you projecting and you blaming. You are arguing with yourself over things that truly don’t matter. Get it?

Of course, you think you are right. The other, thinks they are right. You have your points, the other has their points. It is important to you and it is important to the other. It is all the same even though it appears different. It is anger, confusion, intolerance, negativity.

It is hot and passionate. It is all the same. It is one, thinking it is two, resisting itself. Resistance. Struggle. Delusion. The argument is an opportunity, beyond the important points each of the one both make, to go beyond the illusion, surrender and discover yourself.

Whatever You Focus On Expands – Let Go And Let God – Flow

Seek the higher. All argument is an emphasis on differences. Find a way to unite. Find a way to create understanding, agreement and harmony. Discover the lesson, the projection. Notice what the mirror is reflecting when you argue. Accept and allow the lesson.

When you do your relationships with your self and ‘others’ can improve. Stop insisting and start assisting you and others. Learn how to better communicate and get along. Everything is ultimately for your good. Learn from all of it. Celebrate all of it and grow. You will transform more quickly as you celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

What To Do When Someone Rags On You!

“Far be it from me to tell you what to do or how to live. There are numerous choices and responses when someone is verbally wailing on you or creating a hassle. You have to choose. This option has worked for me. I am happy to share. It is quite simple.

It is not always easy. When some assaults you verbally, warranted or not, I find the best response is to hold my tongue. Adopt the attitude that they are correct and have useful feedback for to learn. It is really an opportunity. The verbal attack will pass eventually.

I forgive them and myself for harboring any thoughts of revenge. What I discovered long ago, is that, when someone unleashes their fury on you, and blames or accuses you, typically it is misplaced anger or some emotion. Firing back only exasperates it.

How Others Judge You May Be More About Them Than You

Responding in kind, or attempting to defend, only brings more as it pushes them into fight or flight. So hold you tongue. Simply say, ‘Okay, thanks. I hear you.’ or something to that effect. Watch your tone and your non-verbals.  You can’t look menacing and say this.

You have to really convey that you get it. It is all okay. Thanks for the feedback. ‘I’m sorry’. I do not mean you assume as passive role or give in to them, but if the relationship is meaningful to you, it is best not to cross swords, but let their fury pass. Then discuss it.

Honor the person with love and acceptance. Your behavior may not make any difference to them. They may still unleash but if you are smart, you will take what they are saying as an opportunity to self-reflect and see if there isn’t some merit to what they say.

Be Open To Feedback – Be Willing To Learn And To Change

There usually is, even if it isn’t as exaggerated as they make it. The most important thing to do is look for the gold within the other person and not get caught up in negativity. Accentuate the positive and shower the person silently with love. This helps you the most.

As long as their behavior doesn’t constitute a pattern of verbal or physical abuse,  but the occasional ranting of a loved one, this can work wonders. It can help heal and smooth over disruptive or explosive arguments. Be grateful. Be compassionate.

Be kind and loving. Allow them to be who they are, even when  you may not like it. Hopefully, they will learn to do the same for you. BUT if not, you have chosen a higher road. Believe it or not, they may actually be correct in their assessments, too. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

The Tale Of A Mystic God And An Old And Young Man

“Indian mystic Narada was off to see god. As he journeyed he played his veena, a stringed instrument. In the midst of a forest he encountered an aged monk sitting against a tree. The old monk asked Narada to ask god a question when Narada saw him.

‘Please tell him I have been making great efforts for three lives now. When, oh when, will he see fit to allow me to be enlightened and free?’ Narada agreed that he would ask and continued on his journey to meet up with god.

Turning a bend in the forest path he found, under another tree, a young man dancing and singing. Narada, being a man of humor, asked the young man, ‘Would you like to ask god a question?’ The young man kept dancing. He didn’t reply. Narada thought he’s deaf.

Trust And Let Go – Celebrate Everything – Be Grateful And Play

He asked again. The young man continued to dance, sing and play on his ektara as if he had not heard. Narada journeyed on. After a few days he returned. Seeing the old monk again, against the tree, he told him god’s news. ‘He said, ‘three more lives.’ The old monk raged.

He got so angry he shook his fists at the sky, threw down his scriptures and prayer beads and exclaimed, ‘this is too much! Three more lives! So unfair!’ Leaving him Narada again encountered the young dancing and singing man. He continued to dance and sing.

‘Although you did not ask, I asked god for you. How many more lives will this young man have to live before his liberation? God replied, ‘tell him he will have to be born and lead as many lives as there are leaves on the tree he dances under. ‘ The young man danced more.

Drop And Release The Old Limitations And Become Totally New

He danced more enthusiastically! He seemed in ecstasy. ‘Really, so few? So fast? There are so many trees in all the world and I only have to live this many more lives? Next time you go to see god give him my thanks!’ It is said the young man became enlightened right then!

Dance, play, sing, enjoy life. Delight. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Without Self Control You Are Stuck And Face Blocks
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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Stop Being A Victim Of Circumstances Be The Master Of Circumstances

“You are stuck in traffic and you are fuming. You have an important appointment. You aren’t moving. You won’t get there. What do you do? Do you feel the heat? Are you frustrated? Is the anger growing? What are you saying to yourself, the traffic and the universe?

Most likely you aren’t speaking in a nice, calm, voice? Are you thinking of everything that is wrong as a result? How you will be late. Are you getting anxious? Are you worried?  It is probable, things are churning on the inside. All sorts of ‘bad’ scenarios play over and over.

Whose fault is this traffic jam? Whose fault is it that you are stuck? You should have left earlier or taken another route? Why did this have to happen today of all days? More than once you probably let out an f-bomb. Right? Okay. Okay, maybe this isn’t you in traffic.

The Most Effective Way To Do It – Is To Do It – Just Do It – Do It

Maybe, this is you in a different, ‘less than positive’ circumstance. The point is, it IS what it IS? Your reaction is what matters. The reaction is habituated. The reaction is automatic and reliable and from your old, negative, chronic conditioning. Get control of it.

You will change when you change your habits. Everything in your life can change when you take charge. You will change when you decide to respond differently, instead of reacting automatically less than positively. Yes, you must make a deliberate, conscious decision.

You must claim the control of what is going on between your ears and in your body. Take charge and master your thoughts and feelings. If you want your life to change for the better you will have to change the negative things you routinely and automatically do.

If You Can’t Beat Fear – Do It Scared – Just Do It – Just Do It – Do It

Regardless of the scenario, you might as well, sit back and relax until it begins moving again. What else is there to do? Surrender. Breath. Look around outside yourself. ‘Cool you jets’, they used to say. Meditate. Listen to calming music or inspirational audio. Let it all go.

You can’t push the river. Allow it to run its course. What is the worst that could happen? Even if the worst happens, in the long run, it could be the best thing ever. It could be. People look back later and connect the dots. Most worst cases, though, never, ever, happen!

Settle down. Get control. Walk it off, if you can. It is what it is. Put an end to the drama. Stop reliving all the bad things in your mind. Focus on the one, very tiny, thing that is good. Look for it. IT is there. It really is. Nothing is completely bad. Find it. Seek and you will find.

If You Can Dream You Can Do It – Just Do It – Do It – Just Do It

You don’t know what you don’t know. Everything will be okay, eventually, no matter what happens today. Shift your thoughts from racing, raging negative to the positive and optimistic. This is what you must do if you want to change, otherwise you remain the same.

If you always do what you always do you will always get what you always get. SO change it and get something different! Make it better for yourself by learning and applying a new way. It gets easier the more you do it. The more you shift, the better you get at it.

Do it enough, over time and you replace the bad habit with a positive, one that supports you. Stop being a victim of circumstances. Be a master of circumstances. Stop being in a hurry. Relax. Stop blaming and complaining. Let it go. Gain control.

If It Is To Be It Is Up To Me – You Get What You Focus On – Do It

Switch. Shift. Take charge and make it a point to feel the best you can. You might not be able to go from furious to bliss, but you can first settle down. Cool off. Get calm. From there you can inch your way toward bliss. Little by little. Make your way towards bliss.

Next blog I will share a powerful secret about rage. You will want to read and apply those principles, too. Meanwhile, make a decision to be different.  Don’t let old habits of thought and behavior rule you. You rule your thoughts and feelings and behaviors, instead.

Consider the picture that accompanies this post. People do wonder at times. That roll didn’t make itself. Someone took charge and did it. Take charge of your own life and make it what you want it to be. Only you can do that. You are 100% responsible. Accept responsibility.

Yesterday You Said Tomorrow – Repeat After Me – I Can Do This

When you do accept it, everything can change for the better. Own up to. BE the victor. Only you can. So, will you make the change? It is up to you. Change happens the instant you decide. Even if you can’t yet see it. There is great power in a congruent decision.

Decide to delight in all things. Feel grateful. Say, ‘thank you’, frequently. Look for the good in every moment. Seek, scan, and find. Shift from the negative to the positive. Do it! Keep doing it.  When you feel blessed no matter what you open the door for all manner of good things. Like attracts like. SO celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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