How To Get Through Rough, Tough Times


“What helps get us through difficult times? What are we to do when things don’t go the way we hope? What do we do when it downright sucks and circumstnaces turn for the worse? Is there anything at all that can make it better or easier?

I think the answer to my last question is yes and no. I think there is something that can help us through any difficulty at any time but whether or not we rely on it or are capable of accessing it makes the difference. I think my answer will unfold here as one element or maybe more.

Attitude Makes A Difference

I believe attitude makes a major difference. I believe that sets a framework for how we encounter and navigate difficult times. It is easy to say, of course, and I do not mean to be flippant about this for people who experience difficult times, loss of loved ones, or any problem or issue that is of concern.

Attitude, however, seems to be the ability to paint with a broad brush all things as potentially good or potentially not so good. So what is attitude? It seems to be a larger all encompassing result of our beliefs. It may have to do with our faith. It certainly seems to have  much to do with our focus and what we say to ourselves.

For longer than this blog has been around, for many years, I have been stating and sharing on the power of focus. I did not invent the notion but have co-opted it for my life and have worked to make it work for me. I have managed to instill in me an ability that works much better now than it has at times in the past by dedicating myself to make it a habit.

I speak from my experience and from decades of working with others. I share the experience of others who have led me too. The principle that we become and we get what we focus on has had such great impact on me that I have felt compelled to share and discuss it for a very long time.

Where We Put Our Attention, How We Do It, For How Long We Do It, Makes A Difference

Perhaps, it IS the very difference!

When things become less than glorious or when we discover ourselves off track we need to return our thoughts back to the positive. To return to ‘can do’ thinking. We need to discover a way to feel even just a little better. The turning back to center or turning back to the positive IS the ability to cultivate that makes the difference.

Please go back and read through this blog many times. I have shared prodeures and methods in every article on how to make positive changes for yourself and direct your attention. Put these to work and you will begin notice the marvelous changes you can make for yourself!

We practice returning to center in all cases, in all types of circumstances and all types of weather. We practice it when times are good and we don’t need it and when times are less than glorious. We practice it so that when it does storm we get what we have practiced.

Build A Skill. Lay A Strong Foundation For Positive Change

I have been discussing laying a foundation, a solid one, that holds everything together when the winds get rough. When the storms come the house still stands. The foundation you build is as strong as the materials you use to build it and how well you put it together. I think this is true too of our attitude and positive capabilities.

I think faith plays a part. I don’t mean religous faith or faith outside of oneself, although that can too. I mean our belief in ourself and our abilities. I mean the expectatons we hold in mind when we practice our focus. Do we expect to succeed or not? Do we expect it to take a long or short time? Do we really believe or do we doubt instead?

The story is told of the person who says,’I am told I can move mountains if I have the faith of a mustard seed.’ So she prays for the mountain to move and when she opens her eyes and sees it still there she exclaims, ‘I knew it wouldn’t work.’

Faith Means Knowing It Will Work And Trusting For As Long As Necessary Without Wavering Until It Does Work

I think hard times can knock the wind out of anyone. I think it is okay when one takes a blow that one takes time to recover from it. I don’t believe anyone is under ANY obligation to anyone or anything to be other than who and what they actually are at any moment.

We are human which includes the ability to feel a  range of emotions and react to what happens. All of the possibilities are human possibilities.

To be able to get up after having been knocked down is the goal. We should get up and not live the rest of life from the floor. How long that takes for anyone is how long it takes for anyone. I believe we should not criticize ourselves for how we respond when we get knocked down. Nor should we criticize others.

We should allow and accept and understand it may take some time for a person to regroup.

If one has been practicing returning their focus to center that person may or may not respond as one might expect. Anything  is possible. The ability to shift focus and to feel better by shifting that focus bit by bit is an incredible thing to have developed into a habit. It is worthwhile and does help get one through the toughest storms and times of life.

Positive Focus Is A Skill That Can Be Developed

I recommend that people practice it daily as often as possible to acquire the skill. Anyone can learn it. How quickly depends on the amount of time one spends practicing. Just as any other skill is developed this skill is developed.

If you have gotten good at anything; a sport, music, acting, a hobby or craft, art, oration, cooking, sewing, working a computer program, ANYTHING, you can get good at running your brain purposefully.

You can excel at developing a positive attitude and making for yourself an incredible life. You can find an inner strngth and ability you didn’t realize was possible prior to developing powerful habits. You can discover life is awesome no matter what comes your way by chosing what to give your attention to.

Do Not Deny Anything.

You don’t try to fool yourself. If there are problems there are problems. Your choice to focus on solutions and what works, or what is good in your life that you can celebrate, in spite of the problems is not denial. You recognize what is there and you chose where to put your attention.

You don’t want to deny or deceive yourself ever but you can celebrate in the midst of sadness and even devastation.

There are countless examples of happy people who have nothing. There are countless examples of people who have lost everything and everyone and yet they remain positive and hopeful. Of course, these people are not the ones you see on the news. These are people the news doesn’t air. They go about their lives when times are easy or times are hard.

I am not ever attempting to tell people how they must be. I am simply pointing out possibilities that exist that we may not think exist for us. There are possibilites that we don’t even know about yet. There is a way to live that makes life wonderful even during the tough times.

It isn’t about pulling ourselves up by one’s own bootstraps although I don’t have a problem with this when it is appropriate. Sometimes we need to be tougher on ourselves to get things going.

Life is not one static thing. Life is change and upheveals. In order to be alive you have to take the good and the bad. Calamity happens, evolutions happen. Coal is converted to diamonds under great pressure, heat and stress. Anything and everything is possible. We need to discover how we can appreciate it, celebrate it or naviagate it. I think these are some opportunities life offers us.

You Can Feel Blessed Beyond Belief

What you chose to focus on will determine how you feel. It will determine how deeply you feel it and for how long. This is the great lesson: whatever it is, whatever it will be is determined by each of us. It is determined by our attention and our thoughts about what is going on. Our thoughts determine our current feeling state and our reality.

Our thoughts are either positive, nuturing, supportive, uplifting, OR they are not. We are either celebrating and are grateful or we are not. We are either moving forward or we are not. We either have a large positive energy ball or we have a large negative energy ball.

Without judging anyone that is just the way it is. The question each of us face is: what do we want to be able to do more of? What do we want to include in our life?

If we don’t like what we are getting then we must make some changes to get something else. That is just how it is. I don’t mean to preach I mean to share. Life can be incredible no matter what is going on. It is up to each of us to discover that for ourselves.

Sometimes we have to find the thinnest of positive threads and hang on to it in order for us to make it better. Whatever you and I chose is what we do. Again, we shouldn’t judge ourselves or others. We allow, accept and understand. We support and nuture. We encourage positively.

Focus On What You Can Celebrate And Are Grateful For

The goal of course in life is to feel the best we can, to  enjoy life the absolute most, and to be, do and have anything we want. We are creators and we make our lives whatever we want them to be regardless of the outer influences. The one thing we can control is out thoughts and our attitude. If it is important to you, you will.

Live a blessed, wonderful, marvelous life. You deserve it! We all do. I think it is up to each of us to live the best we are able and to help others live the best they are able to as well. We are all in it together and we can make our life and world a beautiful garden to enjoy. It can be whatever we decide it will be. Celebrate and enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Focus your day on fun!

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