Category Archives: Fear

What To Do About Your Worst Fears

“Sometimes things turn sour and we handle it okay. Other times we go to extreme negative thinking. We think the worst case scenario over and over. We let it affect us and we spiral down. It is normal and natural for us to think this way. Most of us were conditioned to.

What we frequently find is after a day or two, weeks or longer what we feared most did not come to pass. The worst fears we lived over and over didn’t manifest as we expected. We feel relieved. We dodged a big one and we resume our lives. Whew! But then what?

It happens again another time. Over the same subject or another one. TWe repeat the worst case scenario lifestyle for awhile. We go dark. Again, it resolves. Usually, our worst fears NEVER come to pass. That’s the funny thing about it. Our fears don’t come about!

Don’t Let Fear About What Could Happen Make Nothing Happen

What we  did is get worked up, fearful, angry, depressed and worse. We spiraled into negativity, for a time being, only to discover things worked out better than we thought they would. Did we learn our lesson and decide never to do this in the future? Nope. Sadly, nope!

To enjoy enduring success, so the saying goes, one must travel a little in advance of the world. This means get out ahead of it. We can do that if we learn from our ‘worst fears’ example. Since our worst fears almost never, very rarely, ever come about, stop thinking they will!

Use your mind and energy differently! Stop repeating failure. Stop repeating negative thinking and begin to shift away from the worst case scenarios. Begin to think ‘things always work out’. ‘I don’t know how this will but I know it will work out for the best’. Get it? Do it!

There Is No Greater Illusion Than Fear – It’s Only A State Of Mind

Think and behave differently. Learn from your mistakes and move forward. If you don’t you are doomed to repeat. Stop it. Start doing something productive instead. Don’t just be relieved. Learn to live and respond differently to life, when it throws you a curve ball.

Enjoy life more. Stress out less. Learn to think positive instead of going to dark negative places. Shift away from your fears. Live with courage. Live lighthearted and carefree. Begin to express gratitude and delight. Be thankful for all. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Can You Stop Being Afraid?

Fear has been said to be false evidence appearing real. For example, this or something like it may have occurred for you. You walk outside at night-time, see a snake and react in fear. You freeze or run. You are terrified. In dim light, you can’t tell it is really only a garden hose.

You mistook a garden hose for a snake. Doesn’t matter, does it? You still had a fear response. Your body reacted as if it were real. Even though it wasn’t, you thought it was. In your mind you saw a snake! You believed it was a snake!  Yet, there was nothing to fear.

Sometimes, we encounter real snakes, or lions and tigers and bears. We encounter real situations that could cause us to react with caution or with fear. Hopefully, we respond appropriately at those times. Then, there are many times when we perceive things to fear.

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

Perhaps, that could be said of all situations. We respond as we’ve been conditioned to respond. We respond and react as we grew up learning to; these are thought and behavioral habits. There is nothing to actually fear, yet,we feel afraid; fight, flight or freeze.

We are afraid of things for which fear is not necessary. We have made that fear a habit. There is nothing wrong with fear. It is a useful response in the appropriate situation. Fear, freezing, fleeing or fighting is an evolutionary response to keep us alive. Get over fear.

There is nothing wrong with being afraid. Real stimuli or not, there is nothing wrong with being afraid It is a human response. Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to manage fear and do what is necessary anyway. Courageous people act while afraid.

What You Focus On Expands – Be Careful What You Focus On

Many of us are afraid of things we need not be afraid of. Instead of being concerned with fear, be more concerned with developing courage and an unstoppable attitude that allows you to move forward as you want. Manage your thoughts and feelings.

Take charge of your thinking and feeling so you become more joyful and peaceful. Learn to be happy often and delight in all life offers. Experiences that bring fear are opportunities to transform yourself and go beyond the limitations. It’s an opportunity to be different.

You can go beyond the conditioning you once knew and move into new ways of being. Everything can be a blessing if you look for the blessing inside of everything. Learn to live this way, celebrate everything, and most fears will diminish and give way to bliss.

Learn To Create What You Want More Of And Let The Rest Go

Then when necessary, if it is ever necessary, you can and will still use fear to succeed and navigate successfully in troubled waters. You may be afraid, perhaps, but you will still be moving forward. Fear won’t paralyze you but be a signal to move forward cautiously.  Transform yourself and enjoy! Become free. Celebrate everything!”Rex Sikes

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We Live In A Parallel Universe: Use It To Go Beyond Your Fears

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“In my recent blog I discussed Systematic Desensitization (SD) as a useful method for getting over fears and phobias. There are other approaches that are very effective too. NLP has a Fast Phobia Cure that can work wonders. Here is a reason why I mentioned SD.

Little by little the individual gets desensitized to the trigger for fear through exposure. They are repeatedly and safely exposed to the stimulus, or source of their fear, which lessens its impact; thereby diminishing their emotional reaction to it. Bit by bit they change.

They experience less and less discomfort. The ‘item’ is brought nearer and nearer to them. Not too quickly. Just as rapidly as the person can maintain comfort in the presence of the trigger. If it get close too quickly, they back it up a bit, until the reaction lessens.

Everything You Want Is On The Other Side Of Fear

Then try again later or another day. For example, the SD practitioner presents the ‘item’ to them from across the room. The next time a few steps closer. Next time, more steps closer. Until they are next to the person, whereby the person can handle the item if they choose.

After repeating this for long enough the person typically experiences a reduction in fear. This illustrates a couple of noteworthy points. One a person can get over what they are afraid of by facing it. Yes, they face it in a particular, and safe fashion.

The point is they can learn to get over it. They learn it is not so bad. They learn they can get over feeling afraid. Imagine if they did this ONE thing how many other things they could learn to do, as well. They learned to be afraid. NOW they learned they can control it.

Don’t Let Fear Stop You – If You Can’t You Must – Face Your Fears

People can control their emotions, thoughts, internal pictures, voices, and feelings. They can learn to behave differently. They learned to diminish the fear reaction and overcome it, even if they don’t totally eliminate it. BUT they learn something else, too.

Here is the parallel notion coming in. At the same time they are diminishing their fear they are learning to feel more positive and confident. They are learning they can exist with their fear, face it and be brave and overcome it. They are learning control. Self-control!

It is not that the fear is taken away and nothing left in its place. Remember, nature abhors a vacuum. Instead of just no fear confidence, bravery or some other positive emotion simultaneously comes in to fill the gap. Whatever the person originally wanted.

Courage Is The Ability To Keep Going In Spite Of Being Afraid

Most likely, they wanted to ‘not feel afraid’. Remember, what I have shared with you about the word ‘not’, negativity, and the brain. You can’t not think of a pink cat with zebra stripes wearing a yellow hat, right now. Can you? Don’t think about it. Too late! Oops. Get it?

For some people they could have learned to get over it simply by repeating affirmations and deciding to. For others, they need to face and remove the fear first. Then, simultaneously, fear is replaced with something positive. Either way, the result can be the same.

No fear, more confidence. So in SD the individual is taught how to handle their fear and eliminate it or ‘not’ experience it by building up comfort and familiarity through repeated exposure. Safe repetition is the key. Repetition IS the mother of ALL skill. It works powerfully.

We Have Nothing To Fear Except Fear Itself – Keep On Going 

Another example. A person learns to speak comfortably to one person. Then two. Then three or four. Then 6 or 8. The 10 or 20. Then 30 or 50. Beginning with small numbers the person shares information with increasingly larger sized groups. Guess what?

People learn to get over their fear of public speaking. Once they learn it isn’t so scary they learn it can be fun and enjoyable. They become comfortable with doing it by becoming familiar with the process. Items can be added or subtracted. The point? It works!

We often are more comfortable with those which we are familiar with. Most people fear the unknown. They are afraid of what might happen or what they don’t know, that they imagine, could happen. They are afraid of strangers, animals, flying, foods. You name it.

Even The Darkest Night Ends And The Sun Rises

By repeatedly exposing them to the fear trigger, they face it and develop both familiarity and comfort. You can learn to do anything! You can overcome any debilitating fear this way. Gently and safely. Here is the good news! This is the same way you build any skill.

You repeatedly do it. You familiarize yourself with it and get comfortable or accustomed doing it. It is the same way you build a muscle. Repeat the exercise gradually increasing resistance. You can learn to get over shyness, public speaking and do anything you want.

You can take any desire that you want and turn it into a burning hot desire. You can take any lie and begin to believe it. Some lies are not worth believing. Those include falsehoods of all kinds but most particularly ‘I can’t’ statements, self doubt or criticism.

It Is By Facing Your Fears And Problems You Become Strong

You can begin to believe more useful beliefs like ‘I can’ statements and positive useful affirmations such as ‘I can learn to do anything when I commit to it. I can learn to feel brave and move forward. I can learn to make lots of money easily. I can learn to love and be loved.’

‘I can accept compliments graciously. I can learn to get along with all sorts of people; those like me and those completely different than me. I can learn to listen to opposing viewpoints and feel confident in letting the person keep their ideas without trying to change them.’

‘I am in the process of learning how to speak to groups of people and feel comfortable. I can learn to make any positive change I want. I can eliminate bad habits and fears and move confidently forward. I can be a loving and kind partner and parent. I love my life!’

Whether You Think You Can Or You Can’t – You Are Right

If the mental leap from not being able to do it to being to do it, is at first, too large, you can inch way there by strengthening your word choices. You can start gently by saying, ‘I am beginning to learn I can feel confident’ I am in the process of leaning to feel stronger’.

‘I am beginning to feel much better. I am feeling wonderful. ‘I feel powerful. I am powerful. I have great power. I am confident. I exude strength and comfort easily and effortlessly. I rock! I am strong!’ You work your way up to it through repeated exposure. Anyone can!

This is how our beliefs, thought, feeling and behavioral habits were and are formed. We can learn to overcome the dark side while simultaneously strengthening the  good side. Through repetition we builds bad habits or good habits. You too can make changes.

I Can Do Anything – No Mountain Too High – No Struggle Too Hard

You can make positive, permanent changes when you choose. Choose the best. All of us can increase our abilities and positive feelings.  We can amaze and delight ourselves by going beyond limitations into wonderful new ways of being. We can learn to be, do and have anything we want. We can definitely learn to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Divided We Fall But United We Stand: So Why Don’t We Unite?

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“Divided we fall but united we stand. So why don’t we unite? We don’t unite because we are afraid. We have fears. We fear people who may be a bit different from us. People are more alike than they differ BUT what we pay attention to are those slight differences.

We fear opposite colors, religions, political parties, genders, people with money, people without money. We fear big people, little people anyone and everyone unlike us. We fear those from the inner city and the backwoods. We fear the unknown. We fear and fear.

We don’t have to but we do. Do you want to know the best way to get over your fears? OF ANYTHING? Do you know the way that actually works best. Science proves it! Exposure. Repeated exposure to what you fear desensitizes you to it! Imagine that!

There Is No Illusion Greater Than Fear – Face It And It Disappears

Face your fear and you conquer it! Systematic Desensitization (SD) works by gradually little by little exposing the person to the fear. For example, a particular insect, though not classed as one, scares many. It is okay to be afraid by the way as long as it doesn’t paralyze you.

If fear prevents you from doing what you want then you want to get ahold of it and change it. Conquer it. People who regularly risk their lives, troops, police, daredevils, firefighters, skydivers, climbers, divers, regularly, may feel scared but DO in spite of their fears.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear but going a head even while afraid. That is what bravery is. So With SD they expose the person to the ‘item’ at a distance, far enough away that the person can remain calm, even if uncomfortable. Bit by bit over time they move closer.

You Overcome Fear With Action – Go Through It Not Around It

No faster than the person remains comfortable. It may take minutes, hours, days or weeks but often, most often, the person not only finds that this alleviates their fear but some actually touch or hold the ‘item’. Not all will but many do. Regardless, they overcame their fear.

You can too. We all can. Whatever it is. We can do so safely. We can overcome our fear of people. We can unite instead of remaining afraid and divided. Perhaps, it is a way of controlling people to keep them fearing and fighting each other. Divide them and you control.

I prefer to get along with near about everyone. Too many cool people in the world to worry about the few that ain’t. Get it? Focus on what you want. There are far more good people in the world than bad. Every bad ass dictator has gone down. Consider that a moment.

Don’t Let Fear Of What Could Happen Make Nothing Happen

They had done horrible things and then perished. When tragedy or calamity strikes, people rush to help each other. We have lots of good strangers in the world. Sure, some aren’t but most are. There are more fair weather days than bad weather days. Really, there is.

It is all a lot better than we think it is. Why? Because most of us listen to the news or FB. Do you know studies indicate that using FB is depressing. Most of the feed stories are negative and most people combatant over hot topics. We just need to wean ourselves away.

Drop negativity and that which divides us. Stop fostering it. Stop allowing it. Let go of the fear of differences. Celebrate them. Celebrate the similarities too. Accept, allow, receive. Focus on what you want to create that is positive. Focus on good news. Do it!

Put Your Fears Behind You – Put Your Dreams In Front Of You

It is all possible. We can do it. We can unite. We can get along. We can move beyond argument and into agreement. We can look for that which brings us closer instead of that which separates us. We can create harmony and together celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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