Tag Archives: Neuro Linguistic Programming

Acceptance, Celebration, Focus, Persistence

Experts Reveal: How You Can Get Through Turbulent Times!

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“What is going on in our world? What is going on in our country? What goes on in our community? What goes on in our home? What is it with people today? Have we all gone mad? Seems like there is so much turmoil and confusion? What can we do about it?

It seems things are pretty crazy. They may well be. I do think whenever we find a wrong, that we can correct, we ought to be responsible enough to correct it. We should hold ourselves to higher standards and step up to the plate whenever we are able.

I wish more people read and lived by Napoleon Hill, or some code of honor, accountability and responsibility. His is a fairly modern and workable philosophy that people can apply. He put getting ahead and making it within a context of mutual support and positivity.

What You Can Conceive And Believe You Can Achieve

I prefer that people support the rise of each other, celebrate success and enjoy it when people legitimately prosper.  It is important  to go beyond the call of duty to assist and uplift others. By working together we can all get ahead faster. We need to work in harmony.

We need to set our goal, devise our plan, and become one in accord with getting it accomplished. It seems wiser to think what is  ‘best for all’ than only what is in it for me. How can we accomplish our goals without harming or preventing others?

How can we have it all without greed? We can, most certainly, we can but it takes a shift in our emphasis. We need to refocus our thinking.  There is far too much emphasis on what is wrong and WIIFM than on community and edification.

The More You Give The More Comes Back To You

We can focus on working together to make things better. It takes commitment. Whether on a global level or at home with your loved ones the concerns are similar. How can we best serve others? How can we serve while getting our needs met? How can we uplift?

How do we create a better situation? It is okay to note the problems, what is wrong, and that which needs fixing. Then, shift from what is wrong to creating potential solutions with the good of all in mind. Yes, it may be difficult at times, but we need to attempt it. To do it.

There are greedy people in the world. That is just the way it is. There are some bad things and events. Our concern shouldn’t be the number of bad things but how we can improve. What can I do to make it better for me, my family, friends, community, and country?

Don’t Wait The Time Wil Never Be Right – Act Today

We need to wake ourselves up, get involved and take active interest in creating better circumstances. Don’t be a victim of them. Our mindset needs to be positive and strong. We need to take right action. Focus on good for all of us, with as little harm as possible.

Can we hope to ever make an impact? Certainly, we must believe we can or we will never attempt it. This is why I so enjoy dear Napoleon. He said, ‘whatever the mind of man can conceive, and bring itself to believe, it can achieve’. We need to conceive of the future we want.

Imagine it and believe it is possible. Then work at it and make it happen. Don’t quit or give up but be flexible and adjust as necessary. Many things will come up to prevent you from succeeding but take these as lessons and find the opportunity within. Work on yourself.

If You Can’t Do Great Things Do Small Things In A Great Way

Develop a pleasing personality. Become optimistic and helpful. Take care of your mental, physical and emotional health and well-being. Find good people to work together with in harmony. Support and encourage. Be willing to go beyond where others will quit.

Offer incredible  ‘customer service’ or added value to all. Be honest, ethical, friendly kind and compassionate. Be focused and resolute. He offered these thoughts and so much more. I do think if more of us set out to adopt these principles we would make great impact.

If I can’t impact the globe I can at least impact those around me. If each of us did our share, living a higher standard as an individual, and cooperating with those around us we would ultimately influence more and more people on a larger scale. Our influence would grow.

Your Big Opportunity May Be Where You Are Right Now

While times are tough we remain focused. We don’t get caught up in the drama trauma, the chaos, and the confusion. We don’t succumb to lower level name calling and obstruction. We chose the high road and work to make it better. We can find or create a way.

Society is made up of individuals. If we each make it a point to live better, love more, hate less, help more, be a light in the darkness, things can improve. Will they? I think they can. I am almost certain they won’t, if we aren’t actively involved and making things better.

It starts within each of us. It starts with one’s thinking and attitude. It’s about our focus. There really is more good than bad going on in the world. It may seem otherwise, but good things are ongoing all around us. We just don’t notice a lot of it because of our attention.

It Is True You Succeed Best And Quickest Helping Others Succeed

Where do we put it? Do we put it on all the good things about ourselves and feel and express gratitude? OR do we put it more on what we don’t like about ourselves and wish we didn’t have? The same is true with our family, community, local news and everything.

What do we focus on? What do we believe? What gets most of our attention? By what things are we distracted? Distraction and a drifting mind seem to cause much of our suffering. Many simply choose to concentrate on those things that make them feel worse.

We do not have to. This is a huge component of my work, this blog and the work of others, from the ancients to present day thought leaders. We can  enjoy more of the goodness around us. We can start by enjoying the goodness within us. We can improve.

Our Only Limitations Are The Ones We Set Up In Our Minds

We can accept who we are, and we can continue to grow and transform. We only need to begin to shift our focus, ever so slightly, to make that possibility a reality. In doing so, by evolving ourselves, we can and do impact others. Heck, you know about flash mobs.

Suddenly, a group comes together and dance or some fun ensues. We can do that on a much larger, more valuable scale. Simply, think purpose. Am I here to take or am I here to contribute? How can I best serve others? What can I do to help? Be a positive influencer.

Shift attention to what good you want to create for yourself and others. Two or three together working in harmony can be and is an incredible force. The world goes on but how it goes on does depend on our involvement. If you don’t like things, work to change things.

Opportunity Often Comes Disguised In The Form Of Misfortune 

I think everything is perfect. It is what it is. Everything works together. Negative and positive are the same as night and day, warm and cold. There will always be troubles and there will always be solutions. There will always be growing pains. I accept this.

Still, when I say ‘it is what it is’, that doesn’t mean I can’t work to change things. It means I accept it and I can work to change it. I can adjust and be flexible, I can find or create a way without being attached to how the outcome must manifest. I don’t dictate it.

I don’t insist or dictate it must happen my way or not at all. I don’t make the end more important than the means. Just like sailing or traveling, I set a destination and navigate to get there. I make adjustments along the way. I keep the end point in mind. And then…

All Achievements All Earned Riches Begin As An Idea

I enjoy the journey. How I enjoy the journey most important. Anywhere along the way, there I am. I can’t be anywhere else than where I am in the moment, SO I accept that and continue on. BTW this isn’t just a ‘me’ description. We all are capable and all can do.

The key seems to be within the principles shared here and elsewhere as I have mentioned. If you love yourself and your life, you tend to be more loving and compassionate to others too. If you are thankful and grateful for all and express it, your words, feelings, and behaviors will positively impact others, too. Together, we can make an incredible difference! Begin today, if you haven’t already. Love yourself, be grateful and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

*** Web Class Opportunity In Case You Missed it ***

Yesterday Harv held a powerful web class called Zero To MultiMillionaire: “The Ultimate Business Success Formula” and I just wanted to make sure you got a chance to see it.

If you didn’t, here’s the replay:

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To Your Success,

Rex

P.S. Harv’s known for saying, “If you’re not earning at least a million dollars a year, you’re wasting your precious time and life energy”.

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ENJOY!

Don’t delay. Begin today! Make your dreams come true!

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Creating The Future, Goals, Intentional Thinking, Well Formed Outcomes

Are You Able To Answer These Questions?

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Ok, I admit it. I tricked you. Want to know how? I will be happy to share in a moment. First, did you write down your answers to the questions I posed the other day and today? This is the important part; to answer the questions honestly for yourself.

Whether or not you sent them to me, the point was for you to write them down. First, ask yourself and get clear about your answers. Think about it. Reflect, and honestly answer. It’s usually best to go with your first inclination. Second, write them down. It helps!

It helps because you take the time to write them, thereby continuing to think and clarify. It also helps you create what you want because you  now have taken action to declare them in your words and writing. The written answers become real, not just thoughts.

If You Don’t Write It Down You Have A Wish But Not A Goal

Journaling is an important part of manifesting. Writing down what you want to create and attract is a big step in making the reality you want come true. It is an important first step. Declare it to be so. Clearly, know what you want, declare it and put it in writing.

Blueprints are plans. Business plans are written. Written goals get realized faster than wishing and hoping.  So yes, I tricked you into writing things down. If you sent them in, you give me feedback how to better help meet your wants and needs and serve you.

I hope you did. I hope you will! If you haven’t here they are again!

Remember, I will confidentially address the responses I get in the blogs. I will not be personally answering each of the emails.

  1. What are your top 3 desires? What is it you want? What are you wanting to accomplish? Answer as clearly as possible. e.g. I want a new car. I want to learn to juggle. I want new job. etc.

2. What are your top 3 reasons why each of these is important to      you What will getting your desire do for you? What will you gain by attaining it?

3. What are your top 3 challenges or obstacles? If related to your top desires what is preventing you from having what you want?

4. What are the top 3 reasons why each of these obstacles prevents you? How does each limit you?

5. What do you love? What do you stand for?

6. What do you hate and stand against?

7. What do you feel you need to know, understand and apply in order to transform your challenges into opportunities?

8. What do you feel you need to know, understand and apply in order to transform you career, family life, relationships, life? Answer in each area or whichever is most important to you?

Answers by email to gratitudeactivator@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing back.

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Have a blessed day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Communicating, Curiosity, Trust

How To Know What Is Really Important!

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“To get people to do what you want you have to appeal to who they are. People have beliefs and values that are important to them. They have rules and procedures for how to eliminate woes, and  how to best go about living in the world, succeeding and being happy.

They function by principles, rules, evidence and procedures. We may explore each of these in coming blogs but today I want to broach the subject of values. We all have values.  Some we share with others and some unique to the individuals.

Where values are shared there can be rapport. What is important to you and to me may be our bridge that brings us closer together. Unless we are both competing to fulfill those. It really isn’t much different than you like latte’s and I like latte’s. It is similar.

You’ll Find A Way If It Is Important To You If Not You’ll Find Excuse

We share something in agreement. We both agree it is important to be honest, or loyal or tolerant. Yet how we define these and apply them could vary wildly. Many couples vacation together. It is important for them to get away and spend together time.

What is important about that vacation may wildly differ between them. They could be in for a wonderful or rough time depending on what is most important to each. Whether or not they help each other fulfill what is important to them will determine their success.

For example one partner can’t wait to get away and have loads of fun. This person wants to wine and dine and dance. They want to go out and party, see the sights, meet the people and experience a grand and wild time. They can’t wait until they can let loose!

Ask What Is Really Important Then Find A Way To Deliver On That

The other partner can’t wait to get away from the rat race and relax. They want to leave the madness of the city behind. No phones, no pressures, no deadlines, no people to bother with. They just want to sitt by the water and chill out. They want to savor their time away.

Can you imagine these two may have some difficulty? Perhaps, they’d be better taking separate vacations. Many people get there and then argue that it isn’t going well as they had expected. Why? Because their expectations were never really voiced. Imagined, yes.

Had they talked it out upfront it could be much better. All they need to do is ask, what is important to you about this vacation? What do you hope it to be? What do you want to do? Then they will find out they both have separate and different desires and expectations.

Agreement In Likes And Dislikes Is The Beginning Of Rapport

They can then decided whether or not to vacation together OR how to insure that both of their needs and wants are met during the time they are together. They negotiate quiet relaxing times and wild out there party times. Then both can feel fulfilled and get along.

They help each other out by helping each other get what is important and necessary for each. They work together to make sure both are well cared for and not abused or ignored. Get it? Because they know what is important to each they can work together.

To get along easily with another person appeal to what is important to them. Look them in the eye and say, ‘what is important to you?’ What is important to you about this? What does that, or having that do for you or allow you to do? So few people ever ask. We need to.

Friendship Comes From Trust Uplifting And Valuing Each Other 

‘What is important to you about being a parent?’  ‘What is important to you about racing cars?’ ‘What is important to you about going to that school?’ ‘What is important to you about your boyfriend?’ What is important to you? Then listen and accept their answer.

For practice, whatever their answer, repeat it back to them respectfully. Don’t look at them bewildered and exclaim,  ‘WHAAAAT?  FUN?!?!? is important???’ Be respectful. Accept whatever they say. It is what IS important to them. Treat it so!

‘So fun is important? Very cool. What does having fun do for you? Their answer may reveal another value. Let’s say they said confidence. ‘Cool, so when you have fun you feel confident, or you have a sense of confidence.’ It doesn’t have to make sense to you.

Trust Comes From Understanding And Taking Positive Actions

It makes sense to them. Respect and accept that. Listen and let them know you care. You hold them in high regard. You will do whatever you can to help them fulfill their positive values. When you accept, without judging or ridiculing, you create more harmony and rapport.

You help create understanding and trust. You connect more deeply and you are getting to know each other more deeply because you are learning about what they are trying to fulfill in their life. If not their whole life at least in this topic area. It is important to them.

We have some values which permeate all areas of our life. Some might call these Core Values and we have others that are more situational. Our beliefs and rules and procedures and processes similarly can be situational or core. We will explore more later.

It’s Not Just What’s Important To Them It’s How They Fulfill That

For now, remember to ask people what is important to them. Genuinely be interested. Listen and respect their answers. Utilize what they tell you to help them fulfill their wants and needs and you will may benefit them greatly. Use it to build trust and rapport.

Your understanding of what motivates them and what challenges them will grow immensely. It will help you understand your partner in life, your parents or children, friends, co-workers, employers and employees. You will learn a lot about the people in your world.

Enjoy them. Enjoy learning. Delight in all things. Appreciate these tools you have to build bridges. Understanding what makes another person ‘tick’  bring us closer together. It helps eliminate hinderances and misunderstanding.  It allows us create win /win outcomes so we can get along and each feel fulfilled. Celebrate. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Smile more today!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Communicating, Focus, Giving Unconditionally, Go First

You Can Use A Loss Leader Because It Works!

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“At times the best strategy is the loss leader. You lose now to win later. You give something away to get more in return. Trade shows, Chamber meetings, often provide treats at no cost or they give a free gift away which attracts you to their booth or to a consultation.

The loss leader is used to entice people to drop in. If you take their free candy most likely you will feel that you should stop and listen at least a moment. Yes, some people take a handful but keep going. Most succumb to the Law Of Reciprocity. You give they give back.

Candy is not a promotional item one gets in a swag  bag. Those are branded items they hope you will keep, or pass along. They bank on you giving them some business or referrals in the future. Reciprocity at work again. The  candy is to get people to stop and stick around.

Only By Giving You Will Attract More Than You Already Have

Companies are willing to give items away for free, at a loss, because it’s likely to increase their business down the road. It’s an investment that follows the rule of Go First. Give it away first and  people  will give back in return later. If it didn’t work no one would use it!

Within these blog pages, many times, I have referred to the Rule of Going First and The Law Of Reciprocity because when you give unconditionally to others they can respond in kind. Will everyone? No, but many or most will. Ignore the ones who don’t. Really, let it go.

Focus on what you want and who you want;the type of client or friend. If you want honest, loyal, trustworthy people who believe in you be that person to them first. Be that kind of client or provider or friend. Focus on what you want to create and attract. Then attract it.

Givers Advance The World – Takers Don’t Advance Others 

Birds of a feather flock together. The ones who don’t will fall by the wayside. That is fine. You still operate from a higher purpose or cause. You operate from a giving position. Give to give, not to get! It is the result of authentic, genuine giving that brings back the return.

Don’t focus on getting back. Focus on providing value. Focus on giving freely. Focus on being trustworthy. Focus on being loyal and honest. Focus on believing in the people you attract. When you’re pure of heart others will read that and respond. They really will!

Those who don’t, let go. This is how you create an incredible supportive tribe. Focus on the kind of tribe members you want and give to them first. The ones you want show up. The ones you don’t want let go of. Get it? Create and attract the good that you want!

Giving Liberates The Giver – Giving Creates More Freedom

If you genuinely love people and appreciate them they will know. You will get known for being that sort of person. If their interests are in your heart they will know and respond. The more grateful you are for the people around you the more grateful they will be too.

Your relationships will blossom and improve because of your focus and ability to give generously without strings attached. Delight in the opportunity to give, to serve, to go the extra mile, and you may attract dedicated raving fans and tribe members. So enjoy the process. Be sure to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a tremendous day!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Acceptance, Communicating, Friendship, Opportunity

Strangers And What To Do About Them

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horizons-a-new-day-phil-koch

“Do you have all the friends you want or need? Would you like to have more? There is a saying, ‘be the change you want to see in the world.’ I think the same applies to friendship. Be the friend you want to have first and you will win others over to you. Get it? I hope so.

Let’s reach out and become friends with people we wouldn’t think to. I sat in a mall one day 30 years again and it struck me. Given the proper circumstance and introduction anyone of these strangers passing by might become a friend. That’s really all it takes.

It struck me like a lightning bolt. A stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet. We pass people by and don’t realize in another situation, given the proper introduction, that person, you pass by, right now, might become your very best friend. I mean, think about that!

There Are No Strangers Here Only A Friend You Haven’t Met Yet

Perhaps, we should just be a little nicer and kinder to people who we don’t know yet. Maybe would should take the opportunity to simply smile, say hello, nod, or chat a bit. Genuinely listen to others and become interested. Don’t be a pest but be warmer to people.

Celebrate this world and everyone in it. Unite, come together instead of sewing discord. People around the world are actually much more similar than they are different regardless of any background. After all, they’re all people. Different, but the same!

Celebrate, unite, draw close. Connect, get to know. Rid yourself of fearing people you don’t know. Stop assuming they won’t like you. Start by assuming you possibly have some things in common. Start enjoying others more. Help them out. Allow others to help you.

A Simple Friendly Hello Could Lead To A Million Positive Things

Don’t be overbearing either. Give people space to be themselves. Give people space to just have space for both of you. Be authentic. Don’t assume the negative, be positive. Leave people be if they prefer to be left alone. Don’t stalk them either!

Appreciate people more and allow them in. If it makes you feel safe keep up the invisible walls you use to protect yourself but peer over them or through them. Welcome the world to you. Invite others to get to know you. Be grateful for all and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Meet someone new today!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch

Acceptance, Communicating, Friendship, Relationships

You Must Know This: You Are An Individual But You Aren’t The Only Individual!

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“Hitler’s strategy was divide and conquer. Fortunately, he did not prevail but his method very nearly wrecked civilization as we know it. Allegedly, this country was brought together in the spirit of co-operation and an  ‘all for one and one for all’ spirit. We united.

Today, we are constantly being divided into self interest groups of one. We are individually targeted and marketed to. We no longer have network television where we all watch ‘Gunsmoke’ on Sunday nights (for 20 years) and then talk at the water cooler the next day.

We are splintered and fragmented. Instead of uniting for the common good it seems our representatives fight over what they want with little regard for the people they represent. Protests are more difficult to wage today then they were 30 or 60 years ago.

Without A Sense Of Caring There Is No Sense Of Community

We walk around with our faces in our cell phones. We no longer call a place to reach who is there we call an individual. Most all of us have cell phones. What is my point in this? Is it political? No, we could discuss politics but my point is we are separated, alone, and isolated.

We are brought together by the internet. Social media connects us. Twitter and Facebook and the rest are how we interact. We get our news and entertainment from questionable sources much of the time. It gets harder and harder to unite people for causes.

Oh, it is not over. There still are some but we are less of a community in everyday life. We no longer sit around the family room together watching TV, listening to the radio, telling stories or singing songs. We telecommute or work from home in many cases. Computers!

A Community That Excludes Even One Member Is No Community

We aren’t involved with each other the way we once we. We don’t know our neighbors, our community. John Donne coined, ‘No man is an island’ yet it seems more of us are becoming that. I question at times if that isn’t the great plan. Another form of divide and control.

BUT I said this wasn’t about politics and it isn’t. It is about co-operation. It is about teamwork. It is about the spirit of helping each other, lifting each other up, encouraging each other to move forward and stimulating and enjoying the success of those around us.

We don’t need to compete each other to death. A little competition is good to stimulate. Games are good. It encourages people to excel. However, we need not compete and destroy. We need to compete and grow stronger together. We need to make things better.

Support Each Other And Incredible Things Can Happen

We need to share what we know with others so they too can grow. We can educate and uplift. We can cooperate and thrive. We can go the extra mile and add value to others and help them succeed because then they are likely to want to return the favor to us. Get it?

Reciprocity means I buy you dinner and you feel like you want to buy me dinner. We take turns. We are mutually obligated. That is the way our world works and how it worked for so long. People doing good for each other. Helping each other. We want to give back.

That is why community meetings, dances, church, weddings, funerals were and are important. We unite. We came together to solve problems together or to celebrate lives. Solving problems together means working together toward a common goal. Cooperation.

Come Together – Unite – Hang – Enjoy – Celebrate – Be Together

That is how our political system is supposed to work. Okay, whoops, I slipped that in there, but as an example. We get nowhere obfuscating or obstructing from either side of the isle. We are supposed to be united for the good of all concerned. We aren’t.

We are passed over because of lobbyists and interest groups. Many times favors are granted to the highest bidder. Alright, enough! No more politics but I hope the example is clear. We can’t run our lives or business off the example we see in our government. Its crappy.

It isn’t a good role model any longer. That is what we should be. We should be better role models. We should be more conscientious. We need to care more for each other and a little bit less for ourself. Love yourself. It is critically important but love others too. Keep giving.

Be Around People In Person Who Can Love And Support You

Take time for the people around you. Connect in person. Put the phone away for awhile. YES, I know it is difficult to not take another selfie or text someone something inane. I know it is nearly impossible to abstain. Give it a try for a couple minutes at a time.

Connect in person! Give some attention. Listen to listen and learn not to argue and counterpoint. Listen to discover who the person you are with is and what is important to this person. Allow them to discover you too! Exchange and enjoy! Live and uplift. Share. TALK!

We are niche marketed into splinters. We aren’t exposed to diverse concepts as groups. Let’s not exist only as a person in a house at a computer but let’s be a neighborhood again. Let’s discover a diverse community not just those who are carbon copies of us.

Strangers Are Potential Friends – We Just Haven’t Met Them Yet

Let’s go beyond our limits. Let’s seek to understand outside the box and our narrow sphere of our targeted personal niche. Let’s understand and appreciate others for their different opinions and practices. Let’s become a melting pot again. Let’s connect.

Let’s cooperate. Let’s support and uplift. Let’s learn from everyone and from everywhere. Let’s celebrate the uniqueness of everyone and appreciate all the similarities. We are, people, one species, after all. We are a diverse collection of one species on one globe.

Don’t buy into the goal of the marketers and the media to provide you only what you already like. Expand your horizons. Bridge the gaps. Delight in difference. I’m not saying you can’t have your singular likes, you can, but have others also. There world is vast!

Learn From Everyone – Learn From Everywhere – Be Open – Invite

Go beyond what you know. Expose your mind to new and different ideas. Embrace and delight in all of it. Be receptive. Come out from behind the technology and interact. Face to face rather than face to Facebook. Enjoy, learn, connect and celebrate everyone and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Meet someone new today!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Communicating, Fear, Friendship, Overcoming Difficulty

Divided We Fall But United We Stand: So Why Don’t We Unite?

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“Divided we fall but united we stand. So why don’t we unite? We don’t unite because we are afraid. We have fears. We fear people who may be a bit different from us. People are more alike than they differ BUT what we pay attention to are those slight differences.

We fear opposite colors, religions, political parties, genders, people with money, people without money. We fear big people, little people anyone and everyone unlike us. We fear those from the inner city and the backwoods. We fear the unknown. We fear and fear.

We don’t have to but we do. Do you want to know the best way to get over your fears? OF ANYTHING? Do you know the way that actually works best. Science proves it! Exposure. Repeated exposure to what you fear desensitizes you to it! Imagine that!

There Is No Illusion Greater Than Fear – Face It And It Disappears

Face your fear and you conquer it! Systematic Desensitization (SD) works by gradually little by little exposing the person to the fear. For example, a particular insect, though not classed as one, scares many. It is okay to be afraid by the way as long as it doesn’t paralyze you.

If fear prevents you from doing what you want then you want to get ahold of it and change it. Conquer it. People who regularly risk their lives, troops, police, daredevils, firefighters, skydivers, climbers, divers, regularly, may feel scared but DO in spite of their fears.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear but going a head even while afraid. That is what bravery is. So With SD they expose the person to the ‘item’ at a distance, far enough away that the person can remain calm, even if uncomfortable. Bit by bit over time they move closer.

You Overcome Fear With Action – Go Through It Not Around It

No faster than the person remains comfortable. It may take minutes, hours, days or weeks but often, most often, the person not only finds that this alleviates their fear but some actually touch or hold the ‘item’. Not all will but many do. Regardless, they overcame their fear.

You can too. We all can. Whatever it is. We can do so safely. We can overcome our fear of people. We can unite instead of remaining afraid and divided. Perhaps, it is a way of controlling people to keep them fearing and fighting each other. Divide them and you control.

I prefer to get along with near about everyone. Too many cool people in the world to worry about the few that ain’t. Get it? Focus on what you want. There are far more good people in the world than bad. Every bad ass dictator has gone down. Consider that a moment.

Don’t Let Fear Of What Could Happen Make Nothing Happen

They had done horrible things and then perished. When tragedy or calamity strikes, people rush to help each other. We have lots of good strangers in the world. Sure, some aren’t but most are. There are more fair weather days than bad weather days. Really, there is.

It is all a lot better than we think it is. Why? Because most of us listen to the news or FB. Do you know studies indicate that using FB is depressing. Most of the feed stories are negative and most people combatant over hot topics. We just need to wean ourselves away.

Drop negativity and that which divides us. Stop fostering it. Stop allowing it. Let go of the fear of differences. Celebrate them. Celebrate the similarities too. Accept, allow, receive. Focus on what you want to create that is positive. Focus on good news. Do it!

Put Your Fears Behind You – Put Your Dreams In Front Of You

It is all possible. We can do it. We can unite. We can get along. We can move beyond argument and into agreement. We can look for that which brings us closer instead of that which separates us. We can create harmony and together celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make a difference in someone’s life today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Communicating, Responsibility, Win Win Outcomes

Wanting Without Manipulating: How To Create Win/Win Outcomes

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“You have wants. Other people have wants. How do you get what you want while they get what they want? This is the big question. Zig Ziglar is famous for saying ‘You can get anything you want if you just help enough people get what they want.’ It is true and it works!

The points to keep in mind are you have your want and others have theirs. If you both can get what you both want, or a significant part of each, then you both can win. If you both win you both are pleased you keep the relationship intact and can both win together again.

Create win/win outcomes that is your goal. First let us reframe a word that is difficult for people. The word is manipulate. There is nothing wrong with manipulation. Manipulation means to move from one place to another. You manipulate your car while driving.

 It’s Not Your Way Or My Way Together Let’s Find The Best Way

It is a less than glorious notion when applied to making people do things they wouldn’t want to do. I agree. If you engineer it so people aren’t served, so the outcome isn’t with their best interest in your heart then it isn’t a good thing. And manipulation can be good.

So let’s not be concerned with the dark aspect of this word as long as your intentions and purpose are to create a positive win for the other.  Just be certain you aren’t deceiving yourself into thinking you are doing it for them when you are really doing it just for yourself.

Be honest and clean with yourself. If you want your child to do homework because ultimately it benefits them you may manipulate them in some positive fashion. You may offer a reward. If it also allows you some relief and quiet time then you both win. Get it?

You Can Be Right And Alone – Or Together In A Good Relationship

You both should win. Your interests are important and so are theirs. The more you can make both parties benefit and be happy the better off you both will be. You will become known as a person of integrity and great value if you act with integrity and provide great value.

If you are pure in your heart and wish and work for the best for everyone you will win. If you give only to get and don’t care how you give or what you give but only want to serve yourself that ultimately reveals itself. You can’t hide true motives for very long. We leak info.

People can read each other. We feel it when something is off. We radiate and broadcast who we are everyday, all day. We can’t hide it. People can attempt to mask it, but eventually they are exposed in some fashion. It will definitely bite you on the ass at sometime.

Conflict Cannot Continue Without Your Participation – Let Go

Develop a genuine giving nature. It will come with practice. Give. Donate your time, energy or money to a worthy cause. Get involved. Little by little, just as with any habit, you will develop a giving muscle. Give happily. No one wants to be forced to give. Give what you can.

Don’t give and regret. Give and celebrate. Tiny steps at first if necessary. Practice negotiation. I am not suggesting you give away the farm when you work together with others. I am stating you need to find areas of agreement where you both are delighted; satisfied.

When it comes to adding value think absolutely knock your socks off customer service! Think wow how can I go above and beyond anyone else and make my customer (or relational partner or friends) fabulously delighted? WOW them and you win them! It is good biz!

 Blessed Are Those Who Can Give Without Remembering …

It is also good practice for family, friends and strangers. Go that extra mile that no one else will. Do it in your job, in all of  your relationships and in all areas of your life and you will benefit. Just do it for them, because you believe they deserve it and you enjoy it.

You deserve to get too. Remember that. You win and they win. They win and you win. That is your purpose for communicating and negotiating. Always leave them better off than before they met with you. And as in show business, ‘Always leave them wanting more!’

Get it. I hope so. Again, a major point. If you, make it a point, to celebrate all the people in your life you will feel much better. Even, and especially the challenging ones. Think, they are there for a reason. They’re there to help you grow and evolve as a person.

… And Blessed Are Those Who Can Take Without Forgetting

It doesn’t have to be true to be useful. It may be a reframe but utilize it for your benefit. Be grateful for the lessons learned. Be grateful for the challenges to grow stronger and wiser. Be grateful for the opportunity. Be grateful and enjoy. Delight and appreciate.

You are better off and move forward as you do. It will help you to create win/wins. Serve yourself and serve others. Then they are more apt to return in kind to you. It is the Law of Reciprocity in action. Give and get; get and give; joyously. Your life will transform. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Rapport

How To Get What You Want During Disagreements

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“We return to ‘How To Get People To Do What You Want’ and how to influence others, personally and professionally, positively. How to get more yeses. A favorite person of mine Cheri Tree, speaks the truth. Have ever heard the following statement?

‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get more nos.’ Have you heard that? Get enough nos and you will eventually get a yes. I know I have. For decades I embraced that thought as well. Cheri says bull. ‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get yeses!’ I love it. It is so true.

I have been sharing in these pages exactly how to get more yeses. The principles and practices  for enabling you to do exactly that and much more. You want to evolve yourself into the kind of person for whom others can most easily say yes to. That is your personal task!

What Is Most Important To You – Getting Along Or Agreement

Become a person people like and want to do things for. Go the extra mile. Respect others if you want respect back. Right, you are following along on these concepts, correct? If you are then you know you must respect others needs, wants, time, money and energy.

You must respect their boundaries. Don’t cross them. Move no faster than the other person moves is a way to think about it. Follow their lead for awhile. You will get an opportunity to lead too. It is called pacing and leading and you must learn to do both and when.

For now, keep in mind, you want to respect their boundaries and do not violate them. If they don’t want to talk about something then don’t! Get it? You want to make them feel at ease. Put them at ease and let them know they can trust you. Then they absolutely will.

In The Middle Of Difficulty There Is Opportunity – Be Open Find It

On the other hand  there are times when you may have to cut your losses. You may have to walk away, politely, with a promise to resume at another time. As long as the ball is in your court you can determine what to do. Just do it in a respectful and friendly way.

If you maintain respect and friendliness you almost never burn bridges. Truth be told, you never want to burn a bridge, so do whatever you can to maintain it. In the meantime, unless one of those rare times surfaces,  stay open and stay flexible.

Keep adjusting and continuing to work toward understanding, connection and agreement, even if you agreement is to disagree. Remember, the relationship is important. Keep your purpose in mind. Why are you communicating in the first place?

Are You Strong And Big EnoughTo Overcome Disagreement

What is it you want? What do you want in the big picture? How do you create win/wins so all parties get what each wants? What do you have to do and keep doing in order to maintain rapport, trust and the relationship when you disagree? You must respectfully negotiate.

I’ll continue this discussion on boundaries in next blog. Meanwhile, understand there are times when things don’t go your way. Don’t get flustered, get centered. Stay open and available. Remain calm and collected. Gather your inner and out resources. Remain true.

Remain true to you and to higher principles. Be authentic. In the larger scheme of things how does this all fit in? If you don’t get what you want today what else will you do? How important is it? Ask yourself questions that support you in moving ahead in positively.

It Is Normal To Disagree – Can You Maintain Your Relationship

What do you have in common? What do you like about this person? How can you better understand what is important to them? How can you more effectively listen? How can you create better rapport and understanding? What can you do to enjoy communicating better?

Direct your mind toward positive outcomes by asking questions to guide you. Really ask yourself and listen quietly for the answers. Don’t allow yourself to be rushed. Stop, drop and breath! Drop everything, let go, breath and allow the answers to come to you.

Discover what there is to appreciate about your relationship. Access those feelings of gratitude. Emphasize the positive qualities and diminish differences and disagreement. Accentuate the positive! Feel the gratitude. Feel the blessings! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, nurture yourself and others!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Go First, Relationships, Responsibility

Would A Movie Company Be Willing To Take You Camping?

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“Would a movie production company be willing to take you camping? Heck, would any company take you camping? It is important that you be able to answer, ‘YES’! Do you know why? This is necessary to understand. People say ‘yes’ to people they like.

People want to hang around with people they like. Get it? No one wants to go camping, or be on a set, or work together with a person who is a downer. They’ll avoid the person who isn’t a team player. They don’t want to be around a selfish, self-absorbed complainer.

You need to be likable! Get known as a team player. Support other’s and allow others to support you. If you GO FIRST it is more likely they will want to support you in return. ALWAYS be willing to go first. Don’t wait for others. Set the gold standard. Take the initiative.

T.E.A.M. Together Everyone Achieves More – Be A Team Player

You get known by your actions. OR you get known by your lack of actions. You want to develop the best reputation you can. You will accomplish this when  you add value and go beyond what anyone else is willing to do. You will be highly regarded and sought after.

Your reputation precedes you! You are known by your fruits, or your behaviors. Actions speak louder than words. Remember this! Attitude is everything. It determines your altitude. How far you go, how successful you become, is determined by those around you.

No one ever makes it on their own. The term self-made is a fallacy. People make it together. One may rise or be pushed to the top but without the support of others, there is no where to go. You’re all in the same boat. You need to row in the same direction. Get this?

Good Players Inspire Themselves Great Players Inspire Others

Celebrate other workers successes. Provide genuine praise and enthusiasm. You succeed by helping others succeed. In the movie business, one of the industries I work in and enjoy, being someone who adds value, who is friendly and not a grumbler, is critical.

People tend to complain about their bosses, the job or project, other workers, the weather, you name it. If you don’t you get noticed for being positive and optimistic. When a movie company crews up and casts up one consideration, of course is, is the person qualified?

Whether one can do the job, or not, IS critical? What have they done before? Who has hired them? WHO is this job candidate? Their reputation is important. Who referred them are typical and critical questions. Still, there is a mindset that governs much of the hiring.

You Inspire Others By Showing Them How Incredible They Are

If we were going camping would we want to bring this person along? Would they be fun to have? Will they get along with everyone? Working together can be like a camping trip. It often is; on location, with movie companies. Do we want this person at the campfire?

If you’re the kind of person who is likable and who likes and helps everyone else, who goes the extra mile and adds value, while not being a pest or interfering then you are desirable. When you uplift others instead of bringing them down people tend to say yes to you.

People will be willing to go further for you and do what you want when you demonstrate you are willing to go first for them. When you support, uplift, are positive, friendly, honest, dependable, loyal they will want you on their team. Don’t gossip or grumble; you win.

You Can Succeed Best And Quickest Helping Others Succeed

On the other hand if you are known as a complainer, someone who gossips; a person who rains on the parade, who can’t or doesn’t do the job any boss, any company has little use for you. You might fool them at first but you won’t fool them for long. Do you get this?

Appreciate yourself. Appreciate others. Appreciate where you are, what you do, and life in general and you get further faster. Acknowledge others and support them. Celebrate their achievements and successes and you will win too. You will move up when you are a valuable person to have around. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, pay it forward!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!