The Secret Successful People Know: How You Ask ‘Why’ Determines Your Success Or Failure!

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“Did you know that questions direct your mind? They do. When you ask a question, of yourself, your mind goes on a search to find experiences and answers. It looks in a broad way for classes of experiences and multiple examples to fulfill the request.

Questions are tricky because you may not even be aware that you asked one or more. When conversing with another you know you asked a  question. I’m concerned right now with the questions you ask yourself in your self-talk. These questions you  may be asking all day long and not even aware of it.

What You Ask Yourself And Others Is Critical

We grew up often having to answer accusatory questions such as: ‘why did you do that?’ ‘Why do you always do that?’ ‘Why can’t I count on you?, ‘Why are you naughty?’ and many more like these. If you ask a child, why the child is good or why the child is bad you will get two different answers and sets of feelings.

If you ask the child, why are you good? The child has to think about that, find examples of being good, feeling good, doing the ‘right’ thing. You could ask, ‘in how many ways are you good’, or ‘how do you always know to do the right thing’, or ‘isn’t it wonderful to be good’, or ‘why do you enjoy feeling good?’ Notice how the child feels and responds.

These questions direct our mind, and the child’s to explore and find answers. The bottom line is we may never actually know ‘why’ but we still come up with answers, reasons and experiences. The questions we were asked and we ask of ourselves subsequently helped to form our self image. Who we are and the quality of our life is determined by the questions we ask of ourself.

Questions Direct Your Mind To Find Examples And Reasons

Ask the child, why are you bad? The child goes through the same process but feels quite different. Ask the child this enough times and the child begins to identify with the feelings, the reasons and the question itself.  The brain traveling the same neural pathways repeatedly becomes habituated. Whenever an issue arises the resulting feelings and conclusions are, ‘it must be because I am bad’.

It could be any other reason as well or in addition to. It could be because I am:  fat;  unlovable; stupid; uncaring; slow; unhealthy; poor; unlucky; un-coordinated; frivolous; cautious; risky; small; weak; tall; boy; girl; young; old, I don’t know how; it is too hard; I’ve never done it before. The list of reasons why is endless.

We grew up being blamed and then blaming ourselves. We tried to escape the blame by diverting it. We learned quickly to  accuse others, or things or circumstances. We made up reasons even if we were not sure what the truth of the matter actually was. This became chronic in many, if not most of, us. It is habit and we find ourselves doing the same today without thinking. It is automatic!

The Questions You Ask Determine Whether You Succeed Or Fail

The questions, the silent ones, we ask ourselves are insidious and difficult to recognize. We utter them on the inside or under our breath. ‘Why me?’ ‘Why do things always suck?’ How come I never get a break?’ ‘Why does s/he always treat me this way?’ ‘Will I never get ahead?’ Recognize any of these or variations?

What makes it critical is you are directing your mind in damaging ways. You aren’t helping yourself. You are harming yourself. These questions are habitual. Chronic. You ask them before realizing you are thinking them. You have done it forever. It is time to stop it!

Asking questions like these aren’t making you feel better nor do they improve the quality of your life. When you focus your mind on the very things you want to avoid you end up creating more of the same.

You become what you think about most during the day. You get what you focus on. You brain delivers you multiple reasons and examples per your request. Your inner world creates your outer world. It starts with the mind and your feelings (body and mind being part of the same) and affects your actions.

Questions And Thinking Produces Feelings

Here is a bet for you. If you are asking yourself, unproductive, crappy questions that lead you to find examples and reasons you are broken, bad and feeling unworthy and terrible IT IS A BET you are asking your children and your loved ones the same types of questions. You ask the same of everyone around you. Bet on it!

It makes sense someone asked them of you. If you want your kids and loved ones to feel better and grow up confident and capable ask them the kind of questions that serve to do that. Help direct their mind and help them learn to direct their own mind in positive, powerful, productive, optimistic ways. Help them become a Can Do person not a Can’t Do person. Keep this in mind!

If you are asking, ‘why you are so unlucky’ you are not creating luck! If you are asking ‘how can I get out of debt’ you are focused on debt. If you are asking ‘why you can’t lose wait’ you are focused on being fat. If you are saying, ‘I want a non-smoker’ you are focused on smoking or people who smoke and how you don’t want one of those.

You may think you are being positive but you are thinking the opposite! You are NOT thinking and getting what you think you are. I don’t want to think of a green spotted cow right now. Oooops too late! You don’t get healthy focusing on illness. You don’t get rich trying to get out of debt. You don’t become better off thinking about and asking why you aren’t

What Are You Focused On?

You get healthy focused on health. You get rich focused on riches and abundance. You are already getting whatever you are focused on. Do you get this, yet? Whatever you predominantly hold in your mind is why you feel, behave and have what you have. Good or bad. If you results, circumstances, events in your life suck trace it back to the direct link WHAT YOU ARE THINKING AND ASKING ABOUT!

Whatever you hold in your mind’s eye, whatever you ask about, whatever you concentrate on, whatever you entertain or stew over is what you bring about. Ideas become things. Thoughts become things. Your life is a direct result of the kind of mindset you have! To change the life you have you must first change your mindset. You must ask better questions and thing better thoughts about what you DO want. Make sure it is what you want to include!

You don’t just sit in your room dreaming and wishing for these things. You are not hoping for a new life and doing nothing about it. What I propose is that you learn a powerful way to aim your mind at what it is you want so you are better equipped and more quickly able to get it. YOU make it happen. You align your thoughts and positive feelings then the actions you take come from these.

You align your mindset with what you want. Get this critical area straight first. Decide what you want and you keep your mind on it. Imagine how wonderful it is to be in possession of what you want and you feel these incredible feelings. If you are feeling wonderful as you think about what you want you are on the RIGHT track. If you don’t feel good that is a SIGNAL you are on the WRONG track.

You can monitor your thoughts by how you are feeling moment to moment. The goal is to feel the best most of the time you are awake. That is the key. Then with this mindset and wonderful feelings you do what is necessary to make your dreams come true. Your mindset precedes your actions.

IF your self-image/mindset sucks your actions will too. You won’t do the right things with the wrong thinking! Get your thinking right and everything else will fall into place.

You Can’t Escape The Power Of Your Thoughts

When your thinking is correct, you will be aware of opportunity and possible advantages and create a road map. You begin to see in new and clearer ways. Just as when you buy yourself a brand new watch, or blouse or car and suddenly you begin spotting those same items around you. You will become aware of new opportunities, events, and people to include in your life.

You need to know where you want to end up. You work to get there Along the way you may have to make adjustments and take detours. Obstacles and challenges may arise. Learn from these and keep heading toward your ultimate destination. Never give up and you will succeed.

If you build your house in sand or use faulty building materials your house will never stand for long. It will collapse. The same is true if your goals and dreams aren’t built with the proper mindset. When you build a strong foundation with positive, powerful thinking you can do anything.

Your Questions And Thoughts Serve You Or They Don’t

Think right and you will be unstoppable. Thing wrong and you will not get very far, if you get anywhere at all. What you think about is what you get and become. Manage what you think about. Ask yourself better questions that direct your mind into what you want to be, feel, do and have. I began using my Directed Questions™ by 1980 and it is powerful.

Spend your time thinking, ‘How come I am so lucky? ‘In how many different ways am I fabulous?’ Why do things always work out right for me?’ What are the best feelings I can feel today?’ How many smiles can I discover throughout this morning?’ ‘Why do I always wake up feeling wonderful?’ ‘Which of the many incredible feelings I have will I experience first today?’

Make Changes More Easily By Asking The Right Questions

‘How quickly can I notice myself feeling even more delighted?’ How much fun can I have today?’ ‘In how many different ways can I discover myself amazed and feeling blessed with all the good things I have in life? Ask questions like these again and again all day long. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE! Invent your own and keep asking!

Successful people know how to use their mind. They know what they think, how they think and how they ask for things makes the critical difference. You can be successful too when you first learn to think successfully! Think positive. Affirm and have faith. Love yourself and your current life, celebrate and be thankful and you will move forward swiftly. Plants take time to bloom just as it takes time to build a house.

Ultimately, you will be, and do and have anything you want because you targeted it, aimed at it and never lost sight of it. You came, you saw, you conquered! Be a champion. Think like a champion and you will live like a champion!” Rex Sikes

PS YOU may know someone who could really benefit from hearing this message. Feel free to share this with them via social media or email. Buttons below make it easy for you to do so. If you benefit from these words please help someone else benefit too.

PSS I have discussed how to make changes more easily using questions throughout these blog posts. You can search by topic and find some. A great thing to do is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

Delight in today to the utmost!

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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