Are you bother by the past? Do you relive less than glorious moments? Do you have regrets? Are you a survivor? Are there issues right now that you are struggling with? Do you want to be happier and healthier but find it difficult? There is a way transform all that and more. Would you like to learn how?
The Past Brought You To Now
Keep in mind the past has brought you to where you are today. It has been your journey. Each step of the way brought you to now. Some people spend most of now regretting or agonizing the past. Others have survived the past still tending to their wounds.
There are those for whom the past is golden and they spent most of their moments reminiscing and reliving. However one experiences the past there is only one thing that is for sure. It is over! It is no more. To carry the past around with you good or bad is as if you carry all your personal belongings around in a sack on your back.
That is too burdensome! That is far too heavy a load to keep carrying. Let it go. That was then. To let go of the past does not mean you do not learn from it. Learn from it and let it go. There are people, and perhaps you are one of them and already have, who look back at the worst time in their life and are grateful.
They are grateful for their past experience because they realize that without those times, or that terrible incident, they would not be who they are, or where they are today. They consider it the ‘best thing’ to have ever happened to them. How you chose to look at and feel about it is important.
Celebrate Learn From And Let Go Of The Past
The past is nothing but a collection of memories.
If someone hurt you in the past years ago, and you each day feel that same hurt in your present, the only person hurting you now is you. That person hurt you back then. You are the one who keeps hurting yourself ever since.
Harsh, I know but it is accurate. Some would ask, who is crueler to you; the person in the past or you for keeping it alive? It is time to drop past hurt and trauma and move forward.
You can’t hope the past all goes away. Actually, it already has. BUT you can turn your back on it. You can learn from it and learn to get over it. You can stop carrying it around.
This is how I discovered it is possible to change. I went through an excruciating time and was reliving it over and over. Until, I started to direct my mind differently by asking questions of myself.
I have taught countless others throughout three and a half decades the power of Directed Questions™. I have a special name for these because it is about the direction you set for yourself asking yourself a class of questions, not just any questions. People have been asking questions since the dawn of human kind.
Others have used portions of my work to spread the power of questions worldwide to millions. I am happy because it works and if you use this you too will discover the power.
Much of the material in my blog posts, including this one, comes from forthcoming books. I have a lot coming out soon. This material will be covered in two or more blogs. This be the first.
Ask Yourself Questions
‘What have you learned?’ ‘What lessons are there for you?’ ‘What do you need to know?’ ‘What do you need to do differently to not do the same things?’ ‘What possibilities exist because you went through those experiences?’
‘What can you now do differently if you would begin to?’ ‘How can these insights lead you into positive and permanent change?’
‘How is it possible that your past experiences contribute to you in positive ways now, regardless of what they were then?’
‘In how many different ways is your past a resource for you, a great learning?’ ‘How many more resources might you have because you lived through then?’
There are so many questions you can ask that will lead you into new ways of thinking and being.
You need to let go of the past. Honor it, honor you. Forgive yourself and forgive anyone from the past. Actually, forgive. Stop choosing to live in the past feelings. Stop preventing yourself from enjoying now and a wonderful future.
Ask yourself questions that move you from then to now and into a glorious future. You can if only you will.
‘How soon can I begin to notice myself paying attention to the little delights that make up right now?’ ‘How often can I discover people and things that make me smile?’ ‘In how many different and pleasant many ways can I draw my attention to this moment to notice how wonderful life can be?’
‘In what different ways can I put my attention deliberately on all the good things in my life?’ ‘How soon can I find myself learning from and recoding all my present and my past experiences as positive resources and learnings that I can be thankful for?’
‘How easily am I going to discover myself being grateful for all the experiences in my life?’ ‘How soon will I find overall well-being and comfort in knowing how strong and positive I am and that I can overcome anything and move forward?’
Direct Your Mind Towards What You Want To Include
The number of questions may be infinite. The idea is to direct your mind and not get a word answer. You don’t want to ask a question that you answer with yes or no, or a few words.
You ask a question you genuinely don’t know the answer to. You may think you do but you really don’t. For example, if I ask yes or no,’ do you like tea?’
There is an answer. You already thought of it. Right? If I say, ‘how ya doing?’ You can say, ‘meh, good, great, bad, not sure.’ If I say, ‘how much fun can you have today?’ You don’t honestly know, do you? You may say, ‘not much’ or ‘I don’t know’ or ‘little because today is busy.’
You could answer, ‘I’m not in the mood’ but if you are honest you plainly don’t know. The question, ‘How much fun is possible for you today?’ is not the same question as ‘will you have fun today’ or ‘are you going to have fun?’ or ‘do you want to have fun?
How much fun can you stand today? Do you get this? You will, if you haven’t yet.
The Direction Is More Important Than An Answer
If I said ‘how quickly do you imagine you could learn to play basketball?’ You honestly don’t know, do you? You may think it could take a long time or short time depending on various factors but you actually do not know. There is no actual real answer because only experience will bear it out.
The goal in Directed Questions™ is to direct your mind to look for the experiences in life you do not yet experience fully. It is about having insights and positive feelings and moving in a direction.
You could say you are seeking answers, but what you are actually seeking is all the good times, the resources, things about you and your world you aren’t presently noticing?
More in my next blog post. Think of it as helping a child to discover all the wonderful things around her. What is there she may not have noticed about herself yet? What can she notice about her abilities and the world around her to enjoy a wonderful life? Where would it be most valuable for her to put her attention?
The Directed Questions I want you to learn and practice are designed to help you to become truly curious and then truly captivated and fascinated by what you find. These questions direct your mind powerfully and positively into what you can be, do and have that you ost want and enjoy! Celebrate and delight!” Rex Sikes
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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.
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