“Past, Present or Future. People say, ‘live now’, not in the past or the future. ‘Now IS the only time you have’. I agree. I have learned you can not live in the past. I certainly used to. I preferred what came before to what is and what may be. I longed for the good old days. I mourned their passing. Until one day I realized for myself that it was true no amount of wishing would bring anything back. People I missed and reconnected with had moved on, only I hadn’t.

I believe part of the reason I so adored the past was that I was not ever taught about goals. My present was okay at best, so I tolerated it. Even when it was pretty bad I didn’t think there was much I could do about it. I had been encouraged to do whatever I wanted as long as I got a job and worked to make money but no one ever truly educated me in how to set goals and work in a disciplined fashion. I did not know how to make plans or how to get my goals. I was one of the most undisciplined people I know.

Life was about dealing with whatever happened. Whatever didn’t happen didn’t. I thought much of it was the result of others or circumstances. If someone else got something I wanted in life that was because luck was on their side. I was just unlucky. I had no say in what happened to me. Career success just a matter of the right breaks. I had no clue how to make my own breaks or move forward. Clueless, is how I lived much of my life.

I became a meditator and began to appreciate the now much more. I began to focus so much on ‘this moment’ that I paid no attention to what was down the road. I knew the past was over, my beloved past was not available. NOW is all I had. So I lived moment to moment without respecting the needs coming down the road very well. I had no future I had only now.

This was not that different from living in the past actually. I lived in the past with no regard for the future, living in the present was essentially the same. It was just more immediate in where I put my attention. It was not about friends or times long ago but about about those things right now. Basically, I traded one outlook for a similar outlook only I did not realize this at the time. I got the same shirt only in a different color.

I literally had to train my mind to begin to look into the future.

We all have to learn how to do this but for some of us it may happen earlier on as they grow up. As an adult, I had to being to force myself to consider where I was and what I wanted that would improve on my lot and my life. I could no longer leave it to chance. I had to actually decide what I want and work to make it happen.

For some readers, they may think, ‘well duh?’ Yes, it is true. I had to turn my attention from the now to the then. I had to decide what I want, what goals i wanted to set, and when I wanted it, the deadline. I learned that it wasn’t enough to want something you needed a delivery date. If you bought a pair of shoes online you want to know when you expect them to show up. You would never think to make the purchase with an ‘anytime in the future’ date of delivery.

Of course prior to this moment, I always wanted things to happen for me but I didn’t expect to get them. I wanted them, yes but I only hoped to get them. They were wants, yes, but not what I must absolutely have and go after to get. They fell into the category of, ‘it would be great to have these’ but ‘how come I don’t have them’.

Back to the shoe purchase analogy. You find what you want, you make the purchase, you get a delivery date and you expect to get it when and as promised.

I didn’t fully appreciate that if I wanted certain things I would have to make them happen. I looked at my shortcomings, my lack of knowledge and experience and resigned myself to the fact that I just didn’t know how to get what I hoped to have.

After years of aimless living I came to an understanding that if anything was going to change I had to change what I was thinking and doing, or what I was NOT thinking and NOT doing. It was not just a matter of what I was doing it was also what I was leaving out that was critical.

It became very clear that I was most like a cork that bobbed along in the water, moving wherever the current took me, longing for the past distant shores, or even enjoying the present surroundings, but with no destination in mind, nor power to get there. I had to change something, I had to change this thinking. I had to embrace new thinking if this was at all possible.

I wrote down what I wanted and began to review it throughout each day numerous times. I have described this method in previous blogs. I filled my mind with what I wanted to occur in the future and imagined myself already living as though it was mine.

Back to the shoes again: I had to select what I wanted for myself. I had to make a decision. Once I knew what I wanted I put in the order. From the moment I knew what I wanted I imagined what it would be like having it. People often visualize what they will look like wearing the new shoes. They may see others making a big deal about their choice and how cool it is. They visualize in their minds, right now, what it is like to live wearing the shoes even though the purchased shoes haven’t physically arrived yet. Do you understand what I mean by I imagined myself living as though it was mine?

I steered my mind to the positive and chanted affirmations energetically, passionately. I took charge and made it a point to do something each day in service of the future I wanted. I made the future important to me!

NOW, it would be very easy, for some of us, to be so focused on what we want to make happen that we sacrifice our present for a later date. Fortunately, I came to the realization that this would not be a very good thing.

What I realized, early on, was that my present was a result of my past thoughts.

The lack of consistent plans and goals and positive thoughts resulted in where I was, aimlessly floating. My present was a result of my previous thinking or lack of thinking. Could it be that our future is dependent on the thoughts we think today?

I realized, then, that my current thoughts determined and created my future experience. Whatever I was currently thinking and not thinking about is what I would get in return. My future is dependent on where my mind is right now.

It became obvious to me that if I wanted a different sort of future it would depend on what I did right this moment.

WOW that hit me like a ton of bricks. My future is dependent on what I am thinking and feeling right now! Right this moment we are creating our futures! More next time.” Rex Sikes

Make today the finest day you have ever had. I mean, why not?

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