“What would you do if you had everything? What if you had the fancy cars, the mansions, traveled by private jet, hobnobbed with celebrities, the rich and famous, and had a fabulous showbiz career but still felt empty inside? What if you had tried all sorts of therapies to feel better but still didn’t?
Recently, one of my coaching clients, in the entertainment business, came back to me with a progress report he wanted to deliver. When he first sought my counsel, years back, he had been doing well financially for quite some time. You’d have thought his life was quite perfect.
While he was outwardly a success, a large success, he stated ‘after all the money, I am still me. I am still a person with problems’. Normally, he felt something was missing. He could appear pretty upbeat and that all is well but he felt undeserving of his good fortune because, after all, he was ‘him’. Inside, he felt quite miserable.
That made him pretty cranky at times. While other workers had him examine why he felt this way and work to uncover what might be at the core. I did not. I felt he already focused on what was wrong too much of the time and not enough on what was right and what was working for him. He had spent years in therapy without resolve.
I asked him to do what I have my seminar and workshop participants do. What I have done. I asked him to do what I have shared in these pages.
Develop The Attitude Of Gratitude
First, I asked him to begin simply by making a list of the people and things in his life he is and was grateful for. I asked him to look into his life circumstances the very same way. What about his present AND his past could he appreciate? AND WHY? He was to write these down. He was to keep a gratitude journal. The ‘why’ was important too.
A few sessions later I asked him what lessons he might have learned whether he realized them or not? Could he go back through his life and connect the dots and see how, from this vantage point, things made sense in a way he had not noticed before? He could, in fact, and this was very useful for him. He saw his life unfold differently than he had ever considered.
For the first time he began to realize everything was perfect. Everything good and bad led him to this moment. Everything, every decision he made, every accident in life, all brought him to now as if by perfect design. He learned while on this route HE had been trying to get his OWN attention for years. He finally began to understand.
It was as if, all along, a higher self understood his issues and was attempting to help him resolve these. He just had not noticed nor had he listened. Now, he began to fully appreciate the stepping stones of life bringing him to THIS moment where he could re-claim, if not claim for the very first time, the authorship of his life.
Seek And You Wil Find
This illumination came to him in an instant but it didn’t come to him overnight. He spent some days and weeks devoted to seeking and finding moments to appreciate. I asked him to celebrate everything, as best he could, and to look for the silver lining in every dark cloud.
He did this morning and night. He was dedicated. He felt gratitude throughout the day. He stated that at first it seemed difficult but that it got easier and easier. Soon he kept discovering more and more. Soon he took 100% responsibility for his life and actions.
After all nothing else in his life had seemed to work to give him any form of relief. He had tried lots of therapy. That was one reason I didn’t approach it the way others may have. I simply asked him to focus on what was good, what was enjoyable, what worked and what lessons he could learn from all life events.
Like Attracts Like
I know that we become what we think about. I know that one thought attracts another and if you spend time thinking negative thoughts that will be the results you get. One negative thought attracts or causes another negative thought. That IS how we spiral downward.
If you spend your time thinking positive thoughts, if that is your primary focus, the results you get will be positive. You will feel positive and powerful. I had him concentrate on what was positive for him and what he could celebrate. He began to feel good about himself, positive, powerful and optimistic!
The list grew day by day, as did his positive feelings. In time he was a new person. His outlook had changed, his feelings had changed. He could enjoy all his wealth and accomplishments. He felt like a new person. He accepted himself and his past. HIs past became a meaningful treasure to him that had brought him to his present. No regrets, just more to celebrate.
What many people never learn or realize is that it IS just as easy to think positively as it is to think negative. People just do one more frequently than the other so they get good at one. Then the other seems foreign and more difficult to do. It isn’t, it is just as easy.
Develop Good Habits That Support You
In order to get good at doing something you never did much of before you have to do it frequently and regularly. You have to practice it as much as you practiced the other one. More in fact, until the new thought behavior is your primary one. It can take some time depending how much you dedicate yourself to it.
It can seem miraculous because it is. You can work miracles and bring about profound changes in thinking and feeling and positive action.
Now, I realize there are a lot of people like this gentleman that came to me. They have worked hard, climbed the ladder and still feel empty. Others live with lack and problems making ends meet. Rarer is the person who enjoys life and all works together well but they are out there too. Anyone can benefit by thinking better thoughts!
Whatever is going on for you YOU can change. You can change how you feel about it by how you think about it. IF you want to! If you don’t want to you don’t. If you don’t want to you won’t. It’s simple.
You chose because it is YOUR choice. It is your decision. Nothing will change unless you decide to change it. If you don’t want to change IT will not change on its own. That is okay. Whatever you decide is what you decide.
You Can Change If You Want To
However, if you want things to be better they can be. If you want them to be different and if you want to enjoy yourself, and life much more, you can. There is a way but only YOU can do it.
If you want to life to change you will have to change things in your life. You become what you think about. My client changed what he paid attention to, what he had been focusing on. Hence he changes his thoughts from defeated to victorious. From ‘woe is me’ to celebration.
He changed his thoughts and his feelings changed. His life changed all for the better because HE looked into what HE was and is grateful for. He looked for small and large things to appreciate and celebrate. He viewed all situations as opportunities to learn and grow stronger and better. He changed because HE changed.
Remember is if you aren’t feeling how you want to feel AND you wish to change it and feel better, you can. There are many things you can do. One of the easiest and most powerful ways is to become truly grateful. Shift your attention to feeling lucky and blessed and you will transform everything about your life!” Rex Sikes
It’s your day how well will you spend it?
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