What Holds You Back? What You Can Do About It

Horizons staying-within-the-lines-phil-koch

“‘I appreciate the idea of staying positive. But I really struggle with the blind spot here. Children around the world are suffering and dying. They are not responsible for their situation.

This kind of “teaching” suggests there is some way those innocent children could have prevented the awful scenario we see played out in front of us. It’s not enough to turn the telly off and act like everything is ok. It’s not.

This teaching is about attaching to an idea and/or outcome, and that is the birthplace of suffering. Of course, in general terms, there is merit in being positive. Be happy.’ From Hugh

“Today, my blog post is my reply to this comment made yesterday. I included the comment above.  Of course, you can read it at the post page from yesterday too, along with others. Below is my answer, my opinion. My response.

Excellent points and questions. I am glad you raised them. Napoleon Hill stated he faced the very same concerns, deeply, when his son was born without ears or internal hearing apparatus.

No, no one is saying innocents are responsible for their condition. Life is what life is. In fact, until 7, 8,9 or 10, one could argue, children are mostly just programmed by adults, peers, and situations they grow up around and in.

What this teaching stresses is, if at some point, one is lucky enough to be exposed to it, one can learn to control their own thinking. A person can then work to overcome life circumstances and the conditioning they were brought up in.

Whether they do or not is up to them and no judgement should be made.

Some will yell that the underprivileged feel entitled and are lazy. That is not the case at all. Most people want to better themselves. And if there are some who do not that is their choice.

There are people at both ends of the wealth spectrum that benefit from entitlements. There are some wealthy who are lazy. No one is casting dispersion here, or at least I am not. Nor do I think the teaching does.

It could be said, if one wants to learn how to fish, this teaching will teach them. If some prefer to be fed, I have no problem with that. That is what charity and philanthropy and generosity and good will are all about.

Yes, there is suffering in the world. How one handles the suffering is an individual thing AND largely based on the life experiences and conditioning the person has had. I am no judge.

SO I cannot hold people accountable for their conditioning or their experiences or lack of them. If there is a creator, or divine intelligence, or whom or whatever, that is their domain not mine.

I can only share what I know. I know this. You can go through an experience thinking and feeling negative or thinking and feeling positive. One seems to work better than the other.

Positive thinking does not guarantee success, but makes it more likely than negative thinking. So for me, I choose to be positive. My life and world work better that way.

As for turning off television or turning a blind eye to troubles around the world I don’t think that is realistic. I don’t think being overly fixated on it serves anyone either.

With 24/7 news and bombardment in all media of negative messages AND really mostly ONLY negative messages, because that is what news is,

I say be enlightened and informed to local and world events. JUST don’t get caught up in the negativity.

Negativity is great for knowing what you don’t want or what you want to avoid or exclude. It informs you what you may want to leave behind.

Positivity tells you or informs you what you want to move toward, where you are going or headed, what you want to include or have more of.

Both are necessary. But we need one more than the other. IF you are being chased by a bear in the woods, let’s call this negative, you want to flee the bear, avoid it, leave it behind, not get eaten, and run to a safe place where you are safe and without fear or worry.

You must run with everything you have.

You can’t do that if you keep your eyes on the bear. You have to keep your focus on where you are running to, in front of you. You KNOW the bear is there but your focus is on safety.

The bear is a huge motivator to get there quickly.

In the same way, negativity informs us what we don’t want and can motivate us to get what we do want and more quickly if we use it.

Negative thoughts and feelings are part of life. Positive feelings are part of life too.

Where you spend most of your time determines the quality of your life. Two people born in poverty one exclaims, ‘that is it! I refuse to be poor ever again!’ and works to become rich.

The other says, ‘Wow cool, the rich life is for me! I want all that!’ and works to become rich.

Both are possible. My thought is spend most of your time being positive. It feels better, makes things easier and is more enjoyable.

To the extent you want to, evolve yourself, take control of your thinking and feeling, so you enjoy life more fully.

Help others, help make the world a better place. If you see a wrong, attempt to right it. Delight in and celebrate everything.

If there is a problem, examine it and then turn your attention toward a solution. We rarely accomplish anything by fighting hate with hate, violence with violence, anger with anger, racism with racism, poverty with poverty.

We need to focus on what we want to bring about and work to bring it about. We do that by maintaining our focus on what we want, what we want to include, what we want more of.

We continue to think positive and feel good because life is more enjoyable that way.

Still, it rains on the rich and the poor. Calamity and disaster and heartbreak visit both. How those are responded to and handled is up to the individual and no one, in my opinion, should fault any other human for how they handle difficulty.

Just always remember, night gives way to day, cold becomes warm, waves that have gone out return. This too shall pass. Life is cyclic.

In my world view, evolve yourself to be the best person you can be. Allow other to be who they are. Love lots and forgive much. Learn from adversity and less than desirable circumstances.

Our beliefs either support us and free us up to be, do and have anything we want or they constrain or limit us in some way. We need to learn to recognize when our own mindset is preventing us and change it if we so chose. We can if we believe we can.

If you have goals and dreams go after them, don’t wait. It is not likely others will get them and give them to you. You have to work for it yourself.

Learn to control your thoughts and feelings so you think the best and feel the best 80 or 90% of your time. Whether you have one life or multiple lives, right now is all you have right now!

Celebrate, delight and enjoy it for no reason other than – why not?

It is your life choose what you want to it to be and make it such. Have fun all along the way. Learn to not take things too seriously, relax, let go, play.

Suffering is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Both revolve around outcomes. OR neither have anything to do with circumstances.

Some people in the worst of circumstances are delightfully fulfilled and happy. Others have everything, it seems, yet suffer. Finding out how to best live our life is up to each of us.

My hope is that I have addressed the points and questions. I hope that you, I and others can learn to be grateful and celebrate more of what is available to us while we are here. Let us delight and enjoy it all!

Meanwhile, the best wishes, always in everything!” Rex Sikes

Today is your day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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