Category Archives: Communicating

Communicating, Focus, Giving Unconditionally, Go First

You Can Use A Loss Leader Because It Works!

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“At times the best strategy is the loss leader. You lose now to win later. You give something away to get more in return. Trade shows, Chamber meetings, often provide treats at no cost or they give a free gift away which attracts you to their booth or to a consultation.

The loss leader is used to entice people to drop in. If you take their free candy most likely you will feel that you should stop and listen at least a moment. Yes, some people take a handful but keep going. Most succumb to the Law Of Reciprocity. You give they give back.

Candy is not a promotional item one gets in a swag  bag. Those are branded items they hope you will keep, or pass along. They bank on you giving them some business or referrals in the future. Reciprocity at work again. The  candy is to get people to stop and stick around.

Only By Giving You Will Attract More Than You Already Have

Companies are willing to give items away for free, at a loss, because it’s likely to increase their business down the road. It’s an investment that follows the rule of Go First. Give it away first and  people  will give back in return later. If it didn’t work no one would use it!

Within these blog pages, many times, I have referred to the Rule of Going First and The Law Of Reciprocity because when you give unconditionally to others they can respond in kind. Will everyone? No, but many or most will. Ignore the ones who don’t. Really, let it go.

Focus on what you want and who you want;the type of client or friend. If you want honest, loyal, trustworthy people who believe in you be that person to them first. Be that kind of client or provider or friend. Focus on what you want to create and attract. Then attract it.

Givers Advance The World – Takers Don’t Advance Others 

Birds of a feather flock together. The ones who don’t will fall by the wayside. That is fine. You still operate from a higher purpose or cause. You operate from a giving position. Give to give, not to get! It is the result of authentic, genuine giving that brings back the return.

Don’t focus on getting back. Focus on providing value. Focus on giving freely. Focus on being trustworthy. Focus on being loyal and honest. Focus on believing in the people you attract. When you’re pure of heart others will read that and respond. They really will!

Those who don’t, let go. This is how you create an incredible supportive tribe. Focus on the kind of tribe members you want and give to them first. The ones you want show up. The ones you don’t want let go of. Get it? Create and attract the good that you want!

Giving Liberates The Giver – Giving Creates More Freedom

If you genuinely love people and appreciate them they will know. You will get known for being that sort of person. If their interests are in your heart they will know and respond. The more grateful you are for the people around you the more grateful they will be too.

Your relationships will blossom and improve because of your focus and ability to give generously without strings attached. Delight in the opportunity to give, to serve, to go the extra mile, and you may attract dedicated raving fans and tribe members. So enjoy the process. Be sure to celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a tremendous day!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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Acceptance, Communicating, Friendship, Opportunity

Strangers And What To Do About Them

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“Do you have all the friends you want or need? Would you like to have more? There is a saying, ‘be the change you want to see in the world.’ I think the same applies to friendship. Be the friend you want to have first and you will win others over to you. Get it? I hope so.

Let’s reach out and become friends with people we wouldn’t think to. I sat in a mall one day 30 years again and it struck me. Given the proper circumstance and introduction anyone of these strangers passing by might become a friend. That’s really all it takes.

It struck me like a lightning bolt. A stranger is a friend you haven’t met yet. We pass people by and don’t realize in another situation, given the proper introduction, that person, you pass by, right now, might become your very best friend. I mean, think about that!

There Are No Strangers Here Only A Friend You Haven’t Met Yet

Perhaps, we should just be a little nicer and kinder to people who we don’t know yet. Maybe would should take the opportunity to simply smile, say hello, nod, or chat a bit. Genuinely listen to others and become interested. Don’t be a pest but be warmer to people.

Celebrate this world and everyone in it. Unite, come together instead of sewing discord. People around the world are actually much more similar than they are different regardless of any background. After all, they’re all people. Different, but the same!

Celebrate, unite, draw close. Connect, get to know. Rid yourself of fearing people you don’t know. Stop assuming they won’t like you. Start by assuming you possibly have some things in common. Start enjoying others more. Help them out. Allow others to help you.

A Simple Friendly Hello Could Lead To A Million Positive Things

Don’t be overbearing either. Give people space to be themselves. Give people space to just have space for both of you. Be authentic. Don’t assume the negative, be positive. Leave people be if they prefer to be left alone. Don’t stalk them either!

Appreciate people more and allow them in. If it makes you feel safe keep up the invisible walls you use to protect yourself but peer over them or through them. Welcome the world to you. Invite others to get to know you. Be grateful for all and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Meet someone new today!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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Acceptance, Communicating, Friendship, Relationships

You Must Know This: You Are An Individual But You Aren’t The Only Individual!

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“Hitler’s strategy was divide and conquer. Fortunately, he did not prevail but his method very nearly wrecked civilization as we know it. Allegedly, this country was brought together in the spirit of co-operation and an  ‘all for one and one for all’ spirit. We united.

Today, we are constantly being divided into self interest groups of one. We are individually targeted and marketed to. We no longer have network television where we all watch ‘Gunsmoke’ on Sunday nights (for 20 years) and then talk at the water cooler the next day.

We are splintered and fragmented. Instead of uniting for the common good it seems our representatives fight over what they want with little regard for the people they represent. Protests are more difficult to wage today then they were 30 or 60 years ago.

Without A Sense Of Caring There Is No Sense Of Community

We walk around with our faces in our cell phones. We no longer call a place to reach who is there we call an individual. Most all of us have cell phones. What is my point in this? Is it political? No, we could discuss politics but my point is we are separated, alone, and isolated.

We are brought together by the internet. Social media connects us. Twitter and Facebook and the rest are how we interact. We get our news and entertainment from questionable sources much of the time. It gets harder and harder to unite people for causes.

Oh, it is not over. There still are some but we are less of a community in everyday life. We no longer sit around the family room together watching TV, listening to the radio, telling stories or singing songs. We telecommute or work from home in many cases. Computers!

A Community That Excludes Even One Member Is No Community

We aren’t involved with each other the way we once we. We don’t know our neighbors, our community. John Donne coined, ‘No man is an island’ yet it seems more of us are becoming that. I question at times if that isn’t the great plan. Another form of divide and control.

BUT I said this wasn’t about politics and it isn’t. It is about co-operation. It is about teamwork. It is about the spirit of helping each other, lifting each other up, encouraging each other to move forward and stimulating and enjoying the success of those around us.

We don’t need to compete each other to death. A little competition is good to stimulate. Games are good. It encourages people to excel. However, we need not compete and destroy. We need to compete and grow stronger together. We need to make things better.

Support Each Other And Incredible Things Can Happen

We need to share what we know with others so they too can grow. We can educate and uplift. We can cooperate and thrive. We can go the extra mile and add value to others and help them succeed because then they are likely to want to return the favor to us. Get it?

Reciprocity means I buy you dinner and you feel like you want to buy me dinner. We take turns. We are mutually obligated. That is the way our world works and how it worked for so long. People doing good for each other. Helping each other. We want to give back.

That is why community meetings, dances, church, weddings, funerals were and are important. We unite. We came together to solve problems together or to celebrate lives. Solving problems together means working together toward a common goal. Cooperation.

Come Together – Unite – Hang – Enjoy – Celebrate – Be Together

That is how our political system is supposed to work. Okay, whoops, I slipped that in there, but as an example. We get nowhere obfuscating or obstructing from either side of the isle. We are supposed to be united for the good of all concerned. We aren’t.

We are passed over because of lobbyists and interest groups. Many times favors are granted to the highest bidder. Alright, enough! No more politics but I hope the example is clear. We can’t run our lives or business off the example we see in our government. Its crappy.

It isn’t a good role model any longer. That is what we should be. We should be better role models. We should be more conscientious. We need to care more for each other and a little bit less for ourself. Love yourself. It is critically important but love others too. Keep giving.

Be Around People In Person Who Can Love And Support You

Take time for the people around you. Connect in person. Put the phone away for awhile. YES, I know it is difficult to not take another selfie or text someone something inane. I know it is nearly impossible to abstain. Give it a try for a couple minutes at a time.

Connect in person! Give some attention. Listen to listen and learn not to argue and counterpoint. Listen to discover who the person you are with is and what is important to this person. Allow them to discover you too! Exchange and enjoy! Live and uplift. Share. TALK!

We are niche marketed into splinters. We aren’t exposed to diverse concepts as groups. Let’s not exist only as a person in a house at a computer but let’s be a neighborhood again. Let’s discover a diverse community not just those who are carbon copies of us.

Strangers Are Potential Friends – We Just Haven’t Met Them Yet

Let’s go beyond our limits. Let’s seek to understand outside the box and our narrow sphere of our targeted personal niche. Let’s understand and appreciate others for their different opinions and practices. Let’s become a melting pot again. Let’s connect.

Let’s cooperate. Let’s support and uplift. Let’s learn from everyone and from everywhere. Let’s celebrate the uniqueness of everyone and appreciate all the similarities. We are, people, one species, after all. We are a diverse collection of one species on one globe.

Don’t buy into the goal of the marketers and the media to provide you only what you already like. Expand your horizons. Bridge the gaps. Delight in difference. I’m not saying you can’t have your singular likes, you can, but have others also. There world is vast!

Learn From Everyone – Learn From Everywhere – Be Open – Invite

Go beyond what you know. Expose your mind to new and different ideas. Embrace and delight in all of it. Be receptive. Come out from behind the technology and interact. Face to face rather than face to Facebook. Enjoy, learn, connect and celebrate everyone and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Meet someone new today!

UPDATE: UPDATE: UPDATE!!! NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES VERY SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, RSS FEED and email newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

Communicating, Fear, Friendship, Overcoming Difficulty

Divided We Fall But United We Stand: So Why Don’t We Unite?

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“Divided we fall but united we stand. So why don’t we unite? We don’t unite because we are afraid. We have fears. We fear people who may be a bit different from us. People are more alike than they differ BUT what we pay attention to are those slight differences.

We fear opposite colors, religions, political parties, genders, people with money, people without money. We fear big people, little people anyone and everyone unlike us. We fear those from the inner city and the backwoods. We fear the unknown. We fear and fear.

We don’t have to but we do. Do you want to know the best way to get over your fears? OF ANYTHING? Do you know the way that actually works best. Science proves it! Exposure. Repeated exposure to what you fear desensitizes you to it! Imagine that!

There Is No Illusion Greater Than Fear – Face It And It Disappears

Face your fear and you conquer it! Systematic Desensitization (SD) works by gradually little by little exposing the person to the fear. For example, a particular insect, though not classed as one, scares many. It is okay to be afraid by the way as long as it doesn’t paralyze you.

If fear prevents you from doing what you want then you want to get ahold of it and change it. Conquer it. People who regularly risk their lives, troops, police, daredevils, firefighters, skydivers, climbers, divers, regularly, may feel scared but DO in spite of their fears.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear but going a head even while afraid. That is what bravery is. So With SD they expose the person to the ‘item’ at a distance, far enough away that the person can remain calm, even if uncomfortable. Bit by bit over time they move closer.

You Overcome Fear With Action – Go Through It Not Around It

No faster than the person remains comfortable. It may take minutes, hours, days or weeks but often, most often, the person not only finds that this alleviates their fear but some actually touch or hold the ‘item’. Not all will but many do. Regardless, they overcame their fear.

You can too. We all can. Whatever it is. We can do so safely. We can overcome our fear of people. We can unite instead of remaining afraid and divided. Perhaps, it is a way of controlling people to keep them fearing and fighting each other. Divide them and you control.

I prefer to get along with near about everyone. Too many cool people in the world to worry about the few that ain’t. Get it? Focus on what you want. There are far more good people in the world than bad. Every bad ass dictator has gone down. Consider that a moment.

Don’t Let Fear Of What Could Happen Make Nothing Happen

They had done horrible things and then perished. When tragedy or calamity strikes, people rush to help each other. We have lots of good strangers in the world. Sure, some aren’t but most are. There are more fair weather days than bad weather days. Really, there is.

It is all a lot better than we think it is. Why? Because most of us listen to the news or FB. Do you know studies indicate that using FB is depressing. Most of the feed stories are negative and most people combatant over hot topics. We just need to wean ourselves away.

Drop negativity and that which divides us. Stop fostering it. Stop allowing it. Let go of the fear of differences. Celebrate them. Celebrate the similarities too. Accept, allow, receive. Focus on what you want to create that is positive. Focus on good news. Do it!

Put Your Fears Behind You – Put Your Dreams In Front Of You

It is all possible. We can do it. We can unite. We can get along. We can move beyond argument and into agreement. We can look for that which brings us closer instead of that which separates us. We can create harmony and together celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make a difference in someone’s life today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Communicating, Responsibility, Win Win Outcomes

Wanting Without Manipulating: How To Create Win/Win Outcomes

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“You have wants. Other people have wants. How do you get what you want while they get what they want? This is the big question. Zig Ziglar is famous for saying ‘You can get anything you want if you just help enough people get what they want.’ It is true and it works!

The points to keep in mind are you have your want and others have theirs. If you both can get what you both want, or a significant part of each, then you both can win. If you both win you both are pleased you keep the relationship intact and can both win together again.

Create win/win outcomes that is your goal. First let us reframe a word that is difficult for people. The word is manipulate. There is nothing wrong with manipulation. Manipulation means to move from one place to another. You manipulate your car while driving.

 It’s Not Your Way Or My Way Together Let’s Find The Best Way

It is a less than glorious notion when applied to making people do things they wouldn’t want to do. I agree. If you engineer it so people aren’t served, so the outcome isn’t with their best interest in your heart then it isn’t a good thing. And manipulation can be good.

So let’s not be concerned with the dark aspect of this word as long as your intentions and purpose are to create a positive win for the other.  Just be certain you aren’t deceiving yourself into thinking you are doing it for them when you are really doing it just for yourself.

Be honest and clean with yourself. If you want your child to do homework because ultimately it benefits them you may manipulate them in some positive fashion. You may offer a reward. If it also allows you some relief and quiet time then you both win. Get it?

You Can Be Right And Alone – Or Together In A Good Relationship

You both should win. Your interests are important and so are theirs. The more you can make both parties benefit and be happy the better off you both will be. You will become known as a person of integrity and great value if you act with integrity and provide great value.

If you are pure in your heart and wish and work for the best for everyone you will win. If you give only to get and don’t care how you give or what you give but only want to serve yourself that ultimately reveals itself. You can’t hide true motives for very long. We leak info.

People can read each other. We feel it when something is off. We radiate and broadcast who we are everyday, all day. We can’t hide it. People can attempt to mask it, but eventually they are exposed in some fashion. It will definitely bite you on the ass at sometime.

Conflict Cannot Continue Without Your Participation – Let Go

Develop a genuine giving nature. It will come with practice. Give. Donate your time, energy or money to a worthy cause. Get involved. Little by little, just as with any habit, you will develop a giving muscle. Give happily. No one wants to be forced to give. Give what you can.

Don’t give and regret. Give and celebrate. Tiny steps at first if necessary. Practice negotiation. I am not suggesting you give away the farm when you work together with others. I am stating you need to find areas of agreement where you both are delighted; satisfied.

When it comes to adding value think absolutely knock your socks off customer service! Think wow how can I go above and beyond anyone else and make my customer (or relational partner or friends) fabulously delighted? WOW them and you win them! It is good biz!

 Blessed Are Those Who Can Give Without Remembering …

It is also good practice for family, friends and strangers. Go that extra mile that no one else will. Do it in your job, in all of  your relationships and in all areas of your life and you will benefit. Just do it for them, because you believe they deserve it and you enjoy it.

You deserve to get too. Remember that. You win and they win. They win and you win. That is your purpose for communicating and negotiating. Always leave them better off than before they met with you. And as in show business, ‘Always leave them wanting more!’

Get it. I hope so. Again, a major point. If you, make it a point, to celebrate all the people in your life you will feel much better. Even, and especially the challenging ones. Think, they are there for a reason. They’re there to help you grow and evolve as a person.

… And Blessed Are Those Who Can Take Without Forgetting

It doesn’t have to be true to be useful. It may be a reframe but utilize it for your benefit. Be grateful for the lessons learned. Be grateful for the challenges to grow stronger and wiser. Be grateful for the opportunity. Be grateful and enjoy. Delight and appreciate.

You are better off and move forward as you do. It will help you to create win/wins. Serve yourself and serve others. Then they are more apt to return in kind to you. It is the Law of Reciprocity in action. Give and get; get and give; joyously. Your life will transform. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Boundaries, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility

You Must Maintain Your Boundaries Too

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“Boundaries are important. Their boundaries and your boundaries. You ought not cross theirs nor should they cross yours. So what to do? Treat them with respect and expect the same in return. Don’t demand and be nasty about it. Stay nice, but firm if you must.

Know when someone is wasting your time or mistreating you. Be prepared to say no when it is necessary. Don’t let people abuse your time or your generosity. This may be rare, especially, if you take care to learn how to better read people. If it isn’t check in on yourself.

If you are constantly having squabbles and issues then it is likely you need to make some changes. Remember, it is not easy to change others. It is far more productive and beneficial to change yourself and your responses to others. That is within your control.

A Lack Of Boundaries Invites A Lack Of Respect 

When people try to take advantage or abuse your time, generosity or more, be firm, be polite, be final about it. You can gently put your foot down without destroying the other person. Let the person know you have boundaries you won’t allow to be violated.

There are people who have no regard. Still, you should treat them fairly and with kindness. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Don’t let them get to you. Your attitude and behavior in the worst situation is a reflection of your character. Seek the higher pathway.

Your character builds reputation. Your reputation as a friend or business person will precede you. It is obvious you want to be known as the best friend, the most reliable, honest, trustworthy, easy to do business with business person. That will be of great help to you.

No – Is A Complete Sentence  – Give Respect And Get Respect

Napoleon Hill stated he had three walls. An outer wall that was low and had a few doors in it many people could access. Not everyone but many. The next wall was higher with one door in it. Far fewer were allowed entry. Only necessary people got admitted in.

The last wall was very high and only a handful could gain access at times. This was his metaphor for prioritizing his time, and energy and maintaining privacy. People could gain access depending how closely they were associated with to him or how important it was.

It is necessary to maintain your own boundaries. You shouldn’t have to fight to preserve them. Know when to say no and when not to. Pick your battles wisely. You don’t always have to be all things to all people. I simply want you to understand this. You are important.

Boundaries Are Normal Healthy And Necessary

Nurture and take care of and love yourself. Appreciate others and appreciate yourself. Respect yourself. Then others will too. If you aren’t egotistical, if you don’t flaunt it and are not a snob, but are confident, well-adjusted with a sense of humor and self respect others will respect and like you all the more. Be authentic. Be kind and be grateful. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take care of yourself, today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Rapport

How To Get What You Want During Disagreements

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“We return to ‘How To Get People To Do What You Want’ and how to influence others, personally and professionally, positively. How to get more yeses. A favorite person of mine Cheri Tree, speaks the truth. Have ever heard the following statement?

‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get more nos.’ Have you heard that? Get enough nos and you will eventually get a yes. I know I have. For decades I embraced that thought as well. Cheri says bull. ‘In order to get more yeses you gotta get yeses!’ I love it. It is so true.

I have been sharing in these pages exactly how to get more yeses. The principles and practices  for enabling you to do exactly that and much more. You want to evolve yourself into the kind of person for whom others can most easily say yes to. That is your personal task!

What Is Most Important To You – Getting Along Or Agreement

Become a person people like and want to do things for. Go the extra mile. Respect others if you want respect back. Right, you are following along on these concepts, correct? If you are then you know you must respect others needs, wants, time, money and energy.

You must respect their boundaries. Don’t cross them. Move no faster than the other person moves is a way to think about it. Follow their lead for awhile. You will get an opportunity to lead too. It is called pacing and leading and you must learn to do both and when.

For now, keep in mind, you want to respect their boundaries and do not violate them. If they don’t want to talk about something then don’t! Get it? You want to make them feel at ease. Put them at ease and let them know they can trust you. Then they absolutely will.

In The Middle Of Difficulty There Is Opportunity – Be Open Find It

On the other hand  there are times when you may have to cut your losses. You may have to walk away, politely, with a promise to resume at another time. As long as the ball is in your court you can determine what to do. Just do it in a respectful and friendly way.

If you maintain respect and friendliness you almost never burn bridges. Truth be told, you never want to burn a bridge, so do whatever you can to maintain it. In the meantime, unless one of those rare times surfaces,  stay open and stay flexible.

Keep adjusting and continuing to work toward understanding, connection and agreement, even if you agreement is to disagree. Remember, the relationship is important. Keep your purpose in mind. Why are you communicating in the first place?

Are You Strong And Big EnoughTo Overcome Disagreement

What is it you want? What do you want in the big picture? How do you create win/wins so all parties get what each wants? What do you have to do and keep doing in order to maintain rapport, trust and the relationship when you disagree? You must respectfully negotiate.

I’ll continue this discussion on boundaries in next blog. Meanwhile, understand there are times when things don’t go your way. Don’t get flustered, get centered. Stay open and available. Remain calm and collected. Gather your inner and out resources. Remain true.

Remain true to you and to higher principles. Be authentic. In the larger scheme of things how does this all fit in? If you don’t get what you want today what else will you do? How important is it? Ask yourself questions that support you in moving ahead in positively.

It Is Normal To Disagree – Can You Maintain Your Relationship

What do you have in common? What do you like about this person? How can you better understand what is important to them? How can you more effectively listen? How can you create better rapport and understanding? What can you do to enjoy communicating better?

Direct your mind toward positive outcomes by asking questions to guide you. Really ask yourself and listen quietly for the answers. Don’t allow yourself to be rushed. Stop, drop and breath! Drop everything, let go, breath and allow the answers to come to you.

Discover what there is to appreciate about your relationship. Access those feelings of gratitude. Emphasize the positive qualities and diminish differences and disagreement. Accentuate the positive! Feel the gratitude. Feel the blessings! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, nurture yourself and others!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Communicating, Go First, Responsibility, Trust

Experts Reveal: Why You Win When You Go The Extra Mile

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“Don’t you just love it when someone goes out of their way to help you out or do something nice? I mean sure, sometimes the tendency is to not receive a gift because you don’t want to ‘put someone out’ or you don’t want to feel obligated. Still, it is nice, isn’t it?

Of course, it is. When some one does something for you, you appreciate it. When they do something extra special it is even more important and memorable. It has an impact. Remember, what I said a moment ago about being obligated. It stimulates reciprocity.

You want to return the kindness. If you want more people to say yes and become devoted to you or your business then be willing to provide far more value than you ask for in return. Go the extra mile. Demonstrate your ability to give and you will get far more back.

Go The Extra Mile – Just Like At The Top – It Is Never Crowded

Give first and you will get back! There is a caveat. Give to give not to get back. When you are a genuine giver you will get far more back than you can imagine. Be sincere. Give because you want to provide lot’s of value to those around you. You will get known for it.

Give of your respect. Give your attention. Give you kindness. Give your time. Give your yes. Be generous and provide value first for the other person. When you do people naturally want to, and even feel compelled to, reciprocate. They will return your kindness. Get it?

This is why people bring gifts or food or drink to dinner parties they are invited to. It is why a sales person often bring donuts or coffee to their sales calls. It is why they pick up the tab at a business lunch or meeting. They obligate you. You feel compelled to say yes.

People Of Excellence – Go The Extra Mile – To Do What Is Right

You promise to get the tab next time. Researchers call it The Law Of Reciprocity. When you give first people want to give back. They actually do feel compelled. When someone buys you lunch or a movie ticket, they pay for something, what do you want to do?

Return the favor, right? If someone gives you a ride for free you want to pay for gas. When you give first, they want to return it. If you listen well, if you are focused and attentive, people more readily return the same to you. There is a saying, givers get.

Demonstrate their interests are genuinely in your heart and they will place you in theirs. If you give only to get they will know it. Say yes to them and they will say yes to you! You win more bears with honey. Go the extra mile. Provide fabulous value.

Be The Difference – Don’t Just Be  Ordinary – Be Extraordinary

Be the type of person that exemplifies trust, honesty, loyalty, respect, willingness, acceptance and cooperation. You are the message. Who you are and what you do is far more important than what you say. We will discuss more of ‘who you are’ later.

For now, go the extra mile. Will everyone, always, return your kindness? No, but most will. That makes it even more important. You risk not having anyone return anything. This makes you the bigger person. When people know you are sincere it works in your favor.

Don’t try to manipulate. If you are authentic people will respond far better because most will ‘get it’ at a gut level. We are usually far more perceptive than otherwise. Our gut, our first impressions usually are right. Many people listen to theirs. Be a good person.

Stand  Out And Taller Among The Crowd By Going The Extra Mile

You win in the long run when you go beyond the call of duty. Understand this. You up your batting average. There is no absolute guarantee but you should offer one whenever you can. Get it? You win by helping others win. Make them a priority. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make it a marvelous day!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Communicating, Go First, Law Of Attraction, Responsibility

How To Get People To Say Yes To You

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“Whether you are in show business, sales, the fields of medicine or law, a parent, child, friend or associate, boss or employee getting more yeses is important. To get people to do what you want make certain you are the kind of person they say yes to most often.

Whatever walk of life you are in people tend to say yes to people they like. Science bears this out. Two research conclusions. People like people who are like themselves. This is where ‘birds of a feather flock together’ is truly applicable. People agree with people similar.

The second finding. People tend to say yes to people they like. It is a given. Will they say no to people they like? Of course, but it is much more likely they will say no to people they do not like. The goal: Make sure the people you influence like you. Become likable. Get it?

You Are Where Your Thoughts Take You – Think Highly Of Others

You become most likable when you are similar to them. I’ll discuss this in another post. It is important! For now, keep these principles in mind. Walk a mile in their shoes! Understand where they are coming from. Truly appreciate them and let them know it. Be empathetic.

Be compassionate. Be easy to like. Be friendly, nice and smile. Show that you like people. If you don’t like people in general, or the person you must communicate with, they will know it. They will sense it at the nonverbal, non-conscious level. They will feel it in their gut.

We are broadcasting who we are, our likes and dislikes constantly, whether we realize it or not. In order to be liked we must be likable. In order to get more yes answers we must be someone people want to say yes to. We need to be able to put others at ease.

You Get What You Focus On – Think Friendship & Cooperation

Help them to feel comfortable. Be likable. Be willing to be likable. Be generous in your friendliness. Demonstrate attention, respect and loyalty. Rex’s Rule is to always go first. If you want someone to like you, like them first. If you want respect, respect first. Get it?

If you want attention give yours first. It works this way. Remember, we are constantly broadcasting who we are and what we value; like or don’t like. You and I pick things up at the gut-level, so do others. Some people may be far more sensitive than you or I.

We can learn to improve this ability to detect and notice, to interact and influence. We can learn to read people better and more readily understand where they are coming from. This helps! The goal is to build bridges. Invite, be open and available. Be easy to say yes to!

What You Think About You Bring About – Be Positive  & Optimistic

Allow people to be themselves. Don’t insist they change for you! Don’t insist anything. Look for commonalty between you. Notice how you are similar. Find the 1% you can agree with 100%. Focus on what you agree on, over and above what you do not agree on.

Build bridges. ‘Make peace not war’ or ‘make love not war’ were famous 1960’s slogans that are useful to adopt. Keep in mind go first. If you want a yes what can you say yes to? If you want someone to give you something what can you give them first?

Nothing is truly free in life. There is always a price in time, energy or money. A simple example: If you want an apple you must pick it or get it somehow. Walk a mile in their shoes. Be empathetic. Be compassionate. Be likable. Be generous. Be willing. Be helpful.

Skill Comes Of Doing – The More We Do The More We Can Do

Demonstrate good communication. Invite don’t insist. Look for the common elements. If you’d walk a mile for a camel (another famous slogan) walk further to get your point across and accepted.  Live with gratitude. Freely express appreciation of and with others.

When you are appreciative of everything it is easier for those around you to be appreciative. Delight, have fun and enjoy. Be willing to change yourself and be flexible and adaptable. You don’t change others you change yourself. It is called self improvement!

This is an incredibly important point to understand. Evolve to be the kind of person people most naturally and easily want to say YES to AND you will get more yes replies. Your life will improve as you develop yourself and your abilities.  More later, meanwhile celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate with friends today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Communicating, Mindset, Relationships, Responsibility

Guidelines For Getting Along With Others While Talking

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“Here are a few tips and principles that will help improve you ability to connect and communicate with another person. Stay open and positive. Don’t label the other person as a poor or bad communicator.  Don’t judge them that only makes things worse.

Assume you are missing the point rather than judging them. Take responsibility for listening better. Blaming them won’t help. If you change what you are doing it might. Stay open.  Assist them in being clearer. With your help you may create better understanding.

Everything depends on your intent as a communicator. Are you seeking to understand or ridicule. If you make judgements and insist they change to suit you it actually inhibits the process. You shut down and it is more difficult for them. Don’t let emotions get in way.

Not Everyone Thinks The Way You Think Or Knows What You Do

Make it easier for the listener.  Help the communicator be clearer if able. Ask simple questions politely to help them clarify their points. Gently and patiently bring it out of them. Elicit it gradually. Take responsibility for making the process go nicely for both of you.

A frame you can adopt to help you is to assume they don’t know any better. They can’t help but do it the way they are doing it. It isn’t their fault and they aren’t bad. It is just the way it is. Imagine helping a small child to do something well. Encourage them along.

The goal in communicating is to build a bridge between parties. It is to learn to speak the other person’s language rather than insisting they speak yours. While it might be nicer if they did it your way be the bigger person and adapt to them. Be flexible. Be a chameleon.

Not Everyone Believes What You Believe Or Acts As You Act …

Change what you are doing so you can get along with more people. If you only have one way of doing something you are limited in the number of people you can influence. If you adapt and help make the process enjoyable you win more friends. Make them feel at ease.

Help them feel comfortable speaking with you and they will want to do it again. Make gentle and direct eye contact. Listen intently and once in a while repeat back to them what they said so they know you are listening. Do the same if you want them to be clearer.

Repeat and ask them what is meant. Always be polite and respectful. Nod and ‘uhhuh’ or say ‘yes’ also once in awhile. Don’t stare. Talk less and listen more but don’t be completely silent looking like you are in trace. Engage, be appealing. Smile, encourage them to talk more.

Remember This And You Will Get Along With A Lot More People

Ask questions but don’t interrogate. Don’t ask so many they feel they are being put to a test. Give them some room to be themselves. Often it is best to sit next to them than opposite them. Or sit t the corner of a table rather than across from each other.

I’ll share more as we continue. For now implement what you learn. Action is the proper fruit of knowledge. Expect to have a nice time. Mentally shower them with love or gratitude or peace. Your outer behavior does reflect your inner behavior, whether it is positive or negative, so keep it positive. Enjoy communicating and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate with friends today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!