Tag Archives: NLP

Do You Understand You Are 100% Responsible For It All?

horizons-copacetic-phil-koch

“I am responsible.’  Few people want to say this. Fewer want to say it confidently. ‘You are responsible.’ Fewer people want to be told or hear this. It seems taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions is something many people want to avoid. That sucks.

We should take responsibility and be accountable. Two different things that seem similar. We own up to it and are willing to endure whatever positive or negative consequences that follow. What the many miss is there is great power in taking it all on. Very great!

Whether or not it is accurate to say we are responsible for everything that happens in our life, for our entire life, we access greater creative control over it all when we apply the principle to ourselves. We become the person who makes things happen.

When You Blame Others You Are Saying You Are Powerless

We eliminate victim mentality and exercise the ability to always have a positive next step to make more of what we want happen. We are in charge of our thoughts, feelings, actions and the results we get. While we do cooperate with others, it is still in our hands.

It is our focus, our dedicated attention, our intentions, and our own actions that create our life. Are we influenced from the outside? Yes, of course.  When we take 100% of the responsibility on us, whether it is true or not, we have the power to create whatever we want!

We don’t allow room for pity or feeling sorry for ourselves. We may need to get up and dust off after a fall but we continue to move forward optimistically even when disappointed. We eliminate excuses,  blaming ourselves or others, all accusing and negativity.

If You Don’t Like Something Change It Or Change Your Attitude

When we think positive, accept the responsibility, stop whining and keep forward momentum we can make nearly anything happen. Our mindset is strong, positive and firm. We are committed to correcting when necessary, adjusting and moving on. We create or find a way.

We don’t stop because the going gets hard. Nor do we make others responsible for our feelings or the results we get. We keep the power instead of giving it away. When it comes to communicating or working with others we realize it is up to us to help create rapport.

It is up to us to help  insure the other person gets our message in a positive, useful and friendly say. The relationship should always be more important than the point you are attempting to make. Take the attitude others are in your care and you can help them understand.

Be Responsible –  It Is You Who Will Get To Where You Want To Go

Adjust your communication positively until you create the understanding necessary to move forward. Don’t blame them for not ‘getting it’ adjust and be flexible. Attempt another approach until they begin to understand. Get it? Accept responsibility.

It may not really be yours to accept but when you wear that hat, adopt that concept, live from this mindset, you can get further faster than when you don’t. Get it? Beliefs don’t have to be ‘true’ to be useful. Understand the utility of the concept not the validity of it.

Be willing to try it on and claim the power for making positive things happen. Nurture them along. Help others instead of insisting that they ‘get’ you help them to. Go First! Create a positive attitude and climate from which you live your life and communicate with others. Get along. Turn resistance into assistance. Be grateful and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take charge and do it today!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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How To Get People To Say Yes To You

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“Whether you are in show business, sales, the fields of medicine or law, a parent, child, friend or associate, boss or employee getting more yeses is important. To get people to do what you want make certain you are the kind of person they say yes to most often.

Whatever walk of life you are in people tend to say yes to people they like. Science bears this out. Two research conclusions. People like people who are like themselves. This is where ‘birds of a feather flock together’ is truly applicable. People agree with people similar.

The second finding. People tend to say yes to people they like. It is a given. Will they say no to people they like? Of course, but it is much more likely they will say no to people they do not like. The goal: Make sure the people you influence like you. Become likable. Get it?

You Are Where Your Thoughts Take You  Think Highly Of Others

You become most likable when you are similar to them. I’ll discuss this in another post. It is important! For now, keep these principles in mind. Walk a mile in their shoes! Understand where they are coming from. Truly appreciate them and let them know it. Be empathetic.

Be compassionate. Be easy to like. Be friendly, nice and smile. Show that you like people. If you don’t like people in general, or the person you must communicate with, they will know it. They will sense it at the nonverbal, non-conscious level. They will feel it in their gut.

We are broadcasting who we are, our likes and dislikes constantly, whether we realize it or not. In order to be liked we must be likable. In order to get more yes answers we must be someone people want to say yes to. We need to be able to put others at ease.

You Get What You Focus On – Think Friendship & Cooperation

Help them to feel comfortable. Be likable. Be willing to be likable. Be generous in your friendliness. Demonstrate attention, respect and loyalty. Rex’s Rule is to always go first. If you want someone to like you, like them first. If you want respect, respect first. Get it?

If you want attention give yours first. It works this way. Remember, we are constantly broadcasting who we are and what we value; like or don’t like. You and I pick things up at the gut-level, so do others. Some people may be far more sensitive than you or I.

We can learn to improve this ability to detect and notice, to interact and influence. We can learn to read people better and more readily understand where they are coming from. This helps! The goal is to build bridges. Invite, be open and available. Be easy to say yes to!

What You Think About You Bring About – Be Positive  & Optimistic

Allow people to be themselves. Don’t insist they change for you! Don’t insist anything. Look for commonalty between you. Notice how you are similar. Find the 1% you can agree with 100%. Focus on what you agree on, over and above what you do not agree on.

Build bridges. ‘Make peace not war’ or ‘make love not war’ were famous 1960’s slogans that are useful to adopt. Keep in mind go first. If you want a yes what can you say yes to? If you want someone to give you something what can you give them first?

Nothing is truly free in life. There is always a price in time, energy or money. A simple example: If you want an apple you must pick it or get it somehow. Walk a mile in their shoes. Be empathetic. Be compassionate. Be likable. Be generous. Be willing. Be helpful.

Skill Comes Of Doing – The More We Do The More We Can Do

Demonstrate good communication. Invite don’t insist. Look for the common elements. If you’d walk a mile for a camel (another famous slogan) walk further to get your point across and accepted.  Live with gratitude. Freely express appreciation of and with others.

When you are appreciative of everything it is easier for those around you to be appreciative. Delight, have fun and enjoy. Be willing to change yourself and be flexible and adaptable. You don’t change others you change yourself. It is called self improvement!

This is an incredibly important point to understand. Evolve to be the kind of person people most naturally and easily want to say YES to AND you will get more yes replies. Your life will improve as you develop yourself and your abilities.  More later, meanwhile celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate with friends today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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REMINDER! YEAR END SALE ENDS SOON!!

BARE BONES SALE FOR HOLIDAYS!! EXTENDED! ENDS Jan. 2, 2017

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Dear Friends and Readers,

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Best Wises For A Fabulous Year End And Beginning!

Rex

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Get one, two or all three. Great for you. Wonderful as gift.

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This is my intellectual property (IP) and copyrighted  by me. I ask that you be respectful and not copy, share, duplicate (without expressed written permission) or in any other way pirate these materials.

More information is available at this web page – None of the products will ship. These are all now digital products. Products will be emailed to you. This is an old page that will be updated. Note that the terms and conditions apply as specified on the product page.

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Don’t Blow Your Top! Do This Instead!

the choice to have a great attitude

“If you have ever felt like you were going to blow your top and you don’t want to you can do this to calm down. Getting angry or getting angrier may not be what is most needed in the moment and you want to be able to be productive and not lose control. How do you get a grip?

When unwanted feelings arise you need to shift into neutral, create a break state, a pause and then shift direction. It is too difficult sometimes to just change. You can steer it as in Aikido. You use the energy offered and direct it elsewhere. That is what we are doing.

You Can Easily Make Changes When You  Know How

Head on is too difficult. I have discussed why in previous blog posts. When the momentum is great it is hard to just stop it. You will need to do something first if you haven’t stopped it at the onset. That something you need to add in is the neutral, break state.

A neutral space makes making changes easier because you create a pause when you are being flooded with feelings. The key is to catch the emotional flooding right at the beginning.

This is  important. So whenever practice becoming aware at that very moment. Still, this is so powerful you can use it anytime too.

This blog is continued from previous blogs. If you have not yet read those or done the exercises please go read those first. Spend some time developing your skills through mental rehearsal and then return to this one.

Use mental rehearsal to learn what to do when unwanted feelings arise. For example, when you drive a car you know there is a neutral position on your gear shift. In essence, you always go through neutral when you shift gears and change direction.

This exercise will have you create an important neutral space from which you can more easily and readily change. You can use it any time, anywhere, whenever you feel stressed or want to change feelings or thought direction in your mind.

Rehearse And Practice The Skill To Acquire The Skill 

It is powerful and can be instantaneous. There may be times when you want to repeat it. It is simple and easy and all you have to do is remember to use it.

That is why we mentally rehearse. You travel in advance of the world so as things come up when you want to use it you will. This is the reason actors, musicians and others rehearse and athletic teams practice.

One of the most powerful tools to use when you need to change your emotional reactions so you can respond more wisely and productively is only a breath away. It is literally taking a deep breath.

A deep breath shifts so many things in your being. It changes the energy moving in your body. If you let out a sigh while breathing it is all the better. That sigh of relief, the sound accompanying  the breath, enhances relaxation.

When things are getting hot and you find yourself moving in a direction you do want engage the following.

First learn it and practice it. Then use it when every you need to. Do it in everyday life as soon as possible. It will help greatly.

You Want To Create A Space, A Pause – Take A Break

Go back to another difficult time. Mild. See the events unfold. The usual sequence of events that lead up to that point where you would have gotten angry, frustrated, fearful, worried, sad, confused, overwhelmed whatever it may be.

Watch it in your mind in your mental movie theater and when you get to that point where you would lose it STOP and watch yourself take a deep breath! Then another.

Watch yourself create space by stopping and taking a deep breath. Watch yourself shift your physiology. Shift your body, alter how you stand and move. Breathe and shift. Walk it off! Take a break from your problem.

Take a pause when things start to get critical. Everything is moving along and then suddenly you are going in a direction you don’t want. STOP, take a deep breath, shift your body, walk or do something different AND CHOOSE A POSITIVE RESOURCE.

Go through this process just as described and you watch yourself get to the point where you, would have in the past behaved in less than glorious ways only this time, see yourself stop, take a deep breath, shift your physiology and behave in the new resourceful way. From start to finish. Do you like what you see?

Adjust It As Necessary

Stop and take a deep breath and add in the new resource. Realize you have new choices available to you. You you can  walk it off right where you are. Manage you self talk. Say positive things.  Now you can respond with positive choices. Watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit).

Once you have recoded one experience from your past then pick at least 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Shake it off after each repetition of the exercise. Let’s say you do one situation 3x you shake off after each time. Then you pick another time and do it 3x with shake 3x and then the last 3x 3x.

Remember to use the shake to change your physiology and end the process. Then take a moment and go back do it again.

Seeing And Hearing And Feeling On The Inside (POV)

Use the other way of seeing and experiencing.

Rerun the process from your POV. Go back and imagine it from this vantage point. From within you can feel the feelings change as you go from the beginning to the critical moment.

Just before that less than glorious eruption you say stop (inside your head) and you feel yourself take a deep breath (and another). You sigh as you let the air out.

Feel the pause or a break in the action, create space, walk it off, manage your positive self talk  and choose the resource you have been using for this.

See it, hear it, feel it! Notice how it is different. Feel the changes. Celebrate it and Live it. Then realize that is how it can be in the future. Do it again and again until you feel great about it

Then pick 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Remember, to shake it off after each time.

Maybe once is all you need but since we become what we think about repeat this exercise again and again. Do it daily. Remember you are learning a sequence of behaviors. You are taking charge of your mental behaviors and learning a process.

Take time to go into your past and find resources. Build your library of resources. Go  into your past difficulties and change them from being a limitation into a resource. Recode the past by applying a resource where and when it was needed. You are transforming and recoding past memories.

Do you realize this about the situation you changed? That was how it was in the past. It could have been different in the past. It wasn’t you did whatever you did  back then and that is okay. That was then and you did your best with what you knew.

It could have been a more resourceful time for you but it wasn’t. Accept it. BUT now you have just recoded it as more resourceful. You have imagined what it would have been like to have had that resource and how things could have been different.

SO stop now and  realize you can be more resourceful in the present and the future too. You have more resources you can use when you need to.

Create The Future The Way You Want It To Be

You also are a creator. You can create. You know there may be some situations in the future that could give you difficulty because they may have in the past. These are those situations that seem to happen again and again ever so often. To begin practice pick a mild one of these. Always start with mild. Now let’s recode the future too!

Imagine, in your mental movie theater that future you. Repeat the process watching it unfold up until the point where you stop, take a deep breath and change it from being a difficulty into a resourceful moment. You repeat this exercise as the previous one  doing it from start to finish and shaking it off.  Repeat 3x or more. Shake it off after each time.  Then repeat the process  from your POV.

Do this whenever you need to get some space between you and whatever is going on. Perhaps, some driver pisses you off, change it. Take a deep breath, relax slow down, enjoy the drive. Practice this it could be really important some day.

A boss or co-worker is on your back, take a deep breath, sigh and change the energy. Take a break, go to the restroom, calm down and return. Trouble with a family member or loved one. Don’t lose your cool take a breath. Anytime and anywhere this can save the moment Use it.

Re- Cap

This process allows you to recode the past and prepare for the future. During both you search for and apply resources. During both you stop, create a break state or a pause, you use your physiology differently, and you continue forward having chosen a resource.

You are always welcome to add in more than one resource. One is usually plenty, but sometimes adding in two or three presents us with even more awareness and opportunity. So feel free to repeat the exercise (just as described) only with a new and different resource each time.

You may also magnify those feeling 2, or 3 or even 5 times in intensity. It is your mind and you can ramp it up. You already know how to make things more intense in real life. We have volume controls and dials.

You turn it up or press a button. You can do the same thing within your mental movie theater. Re-live it from your point of view  and enhance and amplify the wonderful feelings! You know when you have had some energy and when you have been super charged. Pick the more intense examples to use.

Use It And Transform Your LIfe

In the real world you will behave and act more productively as this a becomes habit. Take the time to practice and make it automatic. In the coming days if you have an episode and you respond in the new way, positively, fantastic!

If you don’t and you loose control, no worries!  Everyone of us can slip and fall now and then. Pat yourself on the back for becoming aware. Recognize what happened, what you might have done differently, and immediately do the mental exercise for how you’d like to be next time.

Get feedback from the situation, learn from it and continue your practice. What is awesome about the human mind is that you might start off spending 20 or 30 minutes a day, practicing for a month or more to make it a habit.

During this time frame you may be using it too. I hope so! Eventually, you will be do it in less time inside your head. Then even less time. Before long you will run the process in seconds in real life whenever you need to.

Regarding learning and practicing new skills. A flower it takes time to grow. So does a new skill. Stick with it. As you resolve these situations pick other people or situations where you don’t respond as you would like to and work on those too.

Use It Or Lose It

Soon you will have re-coded and re-routed lots of difficult situations. You will have used your mind to change your behaviors. You have taken charge so enjoy it! Celebrate it and validate it.

Any time you fall, get back up, learn from it and do the new behavior in your mind a more productive way. Recognize what you don’t want but stop focusing on it. Drop it and focus on what you do want instead. Remember, we get what we think about most!

Don’t wallow about  the old address. You have moved to a new location. Aim your mind in the direction of the new one.

It’s simple to understand, You practice and rehearse what you want for the future. You use your mind the way an actor or athletic team uses rehearsal or practice time. In your mind you act as if you have all the resources you need in any situation. You imagine and act how you want to be.

Our mind doesn’t know the difference between a mental images and images seen through our eyes. That is why this works. We can create a new self image and practice new behaviors. The more you rehearse and practice the better you get.  The better you get with it the more you get it in your real life

Use these processes to overcome your difficulties, and learn new ways to be. You can and will transform your life positively if you want to.

What you rehearse, fill your mind with, think about and focus on for most of your time expands. You get and become what you think about. Use your mental movie theater to bring you all sorts of wonderfulness now and in the future! Enjoy making your life more the way you want it to be.  Be grateful and be glad! More to come!” Rex Sikes

Use today to live a new way!

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Use This Powerful Way To Keep From Losing It

movie-theatre

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to change a moment of difficulty into a less difficult moment? If you could take a stressful situation and de-stress it would you like to be able to do that? There are ways to alter what is happening so that the outcome you get is positive instead of negative.

In this follow up blog post I’ll share with you a method. If you haven’t read the previous blog post go back and read that first. IF YOU HAVEN’T practiced what I shared with you last time spend some time doing that prior to adding in these steps. You want to build a house on a strong foundation so that it stands.

You want to build your abilities the same way. Before, anything else get used to looking for positive past experiences and re-living them. Hopefully, you have started building a library of positive resources. You have also practiced creating the future by imagining that resourceful you in times when you want to be more resourceful.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you know only a day has gone by.  Keep in mind there is no rush. Practice the first part until you are facile with it. Then you can add this in. This information you read now can wait while you gain experience in the other first, but you will know the direction we are headed.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, read through this a number of times to familiarize yourself with the process. Once you get the idea of it  you can do it while reading through it, or better, as I suggested you can record parts of the process and play them back slowly while you go though it. You will lead yourself through it so be sure to give yourself enough time to do everything thoroughly if you record it.

Build Skills Bit By Bit. Only Move From One Skill On After Getting Good At It

Practice what I share with you in this blog. You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding even more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Continue to make the positive changes utilizing your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn more? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

AT FIRST, pick a mild situation to begin. You can get to the tougher ones later. Start with easier ones while you learn the to go through this process. I mean this! Work your way up from easiest to the toughest in time. Over a period of days or weeks. Get good at the process before trying it on tougher times. Crawl before you walk!

Pick A Mild Situation To Begin With

There are times when you are simply less than glorious. Sometimes you aren’t thinking positively, you’re feeling down or upset, just not optimal.

Choose one to work with. Just one experience at a time. Be specific. Think, ‘I have difficulty when…’  and pick one. It may be in a particular situation, or with a particular person or there is some activity that gives you difficulty.

Find a time and or place where you could use a resource. Said differently, find a time in real life when you could use thinking and behaving more resourcefully.

There are moments in life when things can go any which way but instead of going how we want them to go they end up less than glorious. We loose our cool, we get frustrated or angry, we give in or give up, we cry, we shout, we say things we didn’t mean.

Instead of keeping our cool and being calm or confident we get stressed, harried, fearful or worried.

You most probably have had moments like that in the past. Pick a specific one. Chose a milder one to begin with, remember. Choose an easy one! I mean this! Crawl before you walk! Keep this in mind.

Then go back to my statement above, determine how you’d like to be and feel and behave in this situation instead of how you did in the situation. Consider what would be a more productive, positive way to behave instead of how you used to behave.

Any Resource Is Better Than No Resource

You can pick a specific resource for the situation because you think it would be better. For example, you weren’t confident and you wished you had confidence. That can make it better, yes.

That could be a good resource to have in that situation. Perhaps. A sense of humor might be a good resource to have as well.  Perhaps, having the ability to laugh or be silly at that moment would have made it better. Anything is possible. Any resources can transform.

Maybe being patience, or happy or calm or curious would have been better. Curiosity, can be a great resource! The point is there is the resource we THINK would make it better when, in fact, almost any resource would have made it better. This is what is so cool!

It would not have been the difficulty it was and you would have gotten a different outcome if you’d had any number of resources available. Do you get that? There are numerous possibilities! The only limitations we have are the ones we allow. We are really only limited by what we can’t yet consider an asset or opportunity.

Had you moved into ANY other positive state than the less than glorious one you ended up with, it would led to a different outcome. Right? You understand that, don’t you?  If not think about it a bit. However the situation played out, any positive resource would have made it different and somewhat better. Maybe completely better!

If it is somewhat better, that is better! So any positive new resource is better than no resource. It is NOT a matter of trying to find the ultimate, perfect resource it is a matter of choosing any resource that will lead you to a more productive outcome and get you more positive results. Do you understand this? Again, if not think about it.

Find A Positive Resource 

Be free with your thinking in choosing new opportunities. Don’t be rigid, be relaxed. Open yourself up to infinite possibilities. You are still only going to choose one, or in time, a few, but you have a wide variety to choose from that will make a difference for you. At first, choose ONE to work with.

Learn and practice being more resourceful in a variety of ways. There isn’t a perfect way. There is not only one way. There are a variety of positive possibilities and you can learn and benefit from. Any one of them can lead to more glorious possibilities.

If you want to feel better you want to get feedback on how you can continue to transform your experiences for your benefit. So stay open minded and be willing to playfully explore.

Keep Light And Have Fun With This

Take it slowly and have fun. Be gentle and have fun. Be deliberate and thorough and have fun. Choose mild difficulties at first and have fun. Later move on to more difficult situations and have fun.

When you have learned and practiced and gotten good with the process you move onto larger issues in time. You still have fun because that is what you build into the process. Take it lightly even when dealing with more difficult issues.

There are those times that present us with difficulty. We didn’t behave as we knew we could, or wished we would. We want to take those less than glorious moments and transform them by adding in resources we didn’t utilize or were aware we had at the time.

We want to re-code our memories of the past to be more resourceful so we can choose to use them as resources in the present and  future. That is why we spend time building and continuing to build our library of resourcefulness.

A Most Important Benefit Is You Become What You Think About

The reason why I want you to go and find all your positive times and relive those and catalog those and have experience recreating those is for you to have them available as choices whenever you may need to.

If you spend a large portion of your time devoted to finding resources and living them and creating them it makes you more resourceful. Your life will change for the better.

Utilize Any Of These Resources When Times Get Tough

A second benefit is you can utilize any of these resources more readily when times get rough if you have wired them in and made them automatic and available. What you think about you become. When you become more resourceful you can handle future difficult times better. Do you get how this works? It builds on itself.

There are times when everything goes your way. Maybe you feel on top of the world, or extra joyful. These are resources!

You got some news and you feel very happy. There are times when you simply feel fine, but more than fine. Super fine. YOU feel GOOD but not like a superhero. There are times when you feel confident, capable, certain you can do anything. Other times you feel silly or you have a sense of humor.

Still, at other times you feel relaxed, calm, peaceful or at ease. Sometimes you are concentrated and focused, sometimes playful. At times you are focused on your needs at other times you are attentive and helpful to others. All these constitute useful resources.

Re-live It: Feel Now What You Felt Then

Go back inside your mental movie theater and re-live some of these one at a time. Notice  what you saw at the time, what you heard and felt that made you feel that way.

Get a sense of it as much as possible ! You can even imagine feeling it at 2, or 3 or even 5 times the intensity. You can ramp it up. Re-live it from your point of view.

Build them one by one by revisiting these memories again and again.

Watch It: Feel How Good It Feels To Be This Way (Selfie)

Imagine the other way too. See yourself in the situation (selfie) looking the way you do when you are resourceful in this fashion. How do you look, how do you use your body and move.  What does your voice sound like. You can see that you (in the movie) feels great.

Feel how incredible you would feel to be this way. If everything for your future you was going right, and you were everything you wanted to be, doing what you wanted to be doing and having what you wanted to have. How would you feel? Feel that!

Enjoy these. Do this each day. Build a library of incredible feelings, talents, abilities, and resources. Let’s call them resources states.

Practice each day. Realize that whenever you remember these positive times you can feel the wonderful feelings again and again even stronger if you’d like. Strong or not isn’t the point. The point is taking time to live and feel these resources.

You Can Access or Build Past, Present And Future Resources

In order to change your response in the future you want to have one or more of these resources available when you need it. You are going to use your mental movie theater to imagine when and where and with whom you may need one or more of them.

Pay attention to what and how you behave and feel differently when you add the new resources in. First we will change the past.

Go to your mental movie theater and take up a comfortable seat. Watch this experience on your movie screen in your mind.

You are sitting in a movie theater and the screen is over there. The movie begins and you watch yourself go through the experience over there UP UNTIL the point, but not beyond, when it became a difficult situation.

You Are The Director And Editor Of Your Inner Movies

You chose a mild one because you want to be able to STOP IT from being a difficulty. You want to change the difficult moment so it no longer affects you. You want to be free so you want to stop it easily from being  an issue. You are going to work as a movie editor.

Watch yourself over there on your mental movie screen in a situation leading to a less than glorious outcome. One you actually experienced in your real life past. Watch it up to, but not beyond, when it started going awry. STOP IT prior to when you behaved as you DO NOT WANT to. As it approaches slow it down and stop it.

Cut the film right there! Edit! You snip away the less than glorious reactions you had. As an editor you would throw them in a bin on the computer or let them drop on the cutting room floor. Then insert the new resourceful behavior. Paste it in at the precise point.

Paste it in so that from the critical point on you now watch yourself behaving in the situation the way you WANT TO behave. Watch the movie continue. Look at yourself, listen and notice how you feel differently.

Now you run it again from start to finish making sure you behave as you want to until the end. It begins, you watch.  Watch the situation begin to turn sour but instead of succumbing to what was used to be YOU NOW think, feel and behave in the new positive way? Watch it again and again over and over. Re-live it and love it!

Notice how you look, what you sound like, what and how you say things to yourself in your head, under your breath or out loud. Notice how you move. Imagine it with as much detail as possible.

Adjust As Necessary

Do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel watching this new you? If it isn’t as good as you’d like it improve it. Add in another resource. Change it in positive direction until it is too your liking. Keep it realistic as you do. Intensify the positive feelings.

Adjust it. You want to behave more positively in the future make your inner mental movie a compelling example of you behaving that way. Tweak it. See how wonderful you look. Notice how you positively interact. Listen to the kind things you say to yourself (or others).

When it is how you like it – spend time reviewing it this way. Notice how it is different and more positive. Then realize that is how it can be in the future.

Whenever you watch your inner movie in this way you want to end it completely before you do it over again. So watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) or get up, move around, do a jumping jack. Anything that creates a shift.

Go inside and change a few other mildly difficult times this way. Pick 3, 6, 10 however many you wish. Practice recoding them. Review them with the new behaviors and how do you feel? Are you moving in the direction you want to move in? Is feeling good? Feeling great?

You are building and practicing a skill. If you keep at it you will build the habit of looking for resources whenever you encounter the trigger points in less than glorious situations. This is an incredible skill to have. So you want to practice a lot. Don’t believe me build it for yourself!

There is more to this process and we will add on to it. It gives you another powerful alternative way to accomplish the same end. It is a useful approach for you to learn. Practice and practice. You will be amazed at how easily you can make changes. More Next Time!” Rex Sikes

Have a majestic day!

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Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

fun to do the impossible

“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters

By Rex Sikes

You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes
Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today? Rex Sikes”

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today?

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Did You Know You Hold The Power To Transform Your Life?

accomplishment starts w decision

“You may not realize it but did you know that you already hold the key to your transformation? You have it available and you use it every day but you haven’t used it in the powerful way you could be using it to get incredible results! Wouldn’t you like to know what it is so you could put it to work positively for you?

I bet you would. So here it is. In the past few blogs I brought up the transformative power of asking yourself Directed Questions™ to help you focus on and get what you want in life. Here is another article I wrote on the subject. All of my home study audios and videos from the 1980’s on include this powerful work. You can get this information and the power to change right now.

Why Affirmations Don’t Work And How You Can Replace Them With Directed Questions™ To Get The Results You Want

The way you feel and what you experience comes from where you focus your attention and determines how you are going to behave. Successful people know that you must control not only what you focus on but how you focus .

They have learned to take control of their emotions and run their own brain — that means taking control of what you are picturing in your mind and how you are picturing it, what you are saying to your self and how you are saying it. When you get control over these things, this will allow you to determine how you feel.

When you focus, you limit your attention. If you are not focused on success you will miss all the opportunities success brings. In life, we get what we focus on.

Remember this: What you focus on, you get.

People who do affirmations are wasting their time because they are actually setting up internal conflicts that cause them to activate the opposite of what they want! When people look into the mirror and say, “In every day and in every way, I am getting better and better,” a part of their mind comes back and says, “bull!”

Doesn’t it? It is just like if I told you that you have a blue shirt on when you actually have a red one on! I say, “nice blue shirt” and you say, “it’s not blue, it’s red.” Then I say, “it’s blue”, and you say “no, it’s red” … we could go on like this forever… which is exactly what happens for most people when they do affirmations.

Instead of engaging yourself in this confrontive struggle with yourself, you could begin to ask yourself questions instead. Questions will always get you an answer. Questions change what you focus on.

They get you to focus on either what is good about you, your environment, or your behavior, or what is bad about you, your environment, or your behavior. An affirmation in the form of a question is 300 or 400 times more effective and will literally train your brain to translate the affirmations into your behavior.

Why Questions are More Powerful than Affirmations

Brains learn quickly to move in directions. Questions direct the mind. They divide experience and lead our attention. Questions demand an answer. And since it is a question which our brain may not know the answer to yet, it will search to give us an answer.

If, when we ask the question, we include more of what we want in our life, our brain will search to provide us with those things which we included in our question and the answer.

Asking yourself questions is one of the greatest things you can learn for yourself. Questions set your reality. Think about it. If I say, “what did you do on Friday?” Where does your mind go? It goes to look for an answer. If I say “how old are you?” You know the answer. If I say, “what did you do last summer?”, “What is your occupation?”, “Who was your best friend when you were a child?”… You are causing your mind to come up with an answer.

Sometimes you won’t have the answer right away. Sometimes you may have to ask another question like, “gee, who was it?” You are sending your mind in a direction.

According to anthropologists, people are “meaning makers.” In other words, people will ask themselves “what does this mean to me?”, “what is in it for me?”, or “what should I do?” It is the questions we ask ourselves that create meaning for ourselves. And you have a choice as to what exactly those questions are going to be.

Are you going to ask yourself questions that get you bad results, like “how come I’m so stupid?” or are you going to ask yourself questions that get you good results like “how soon will I begin to realize how wonderful I am?”

The kinds of things you ask yourself are critical. If you say “gee, how come I am so stupid?”, your brain goes “because when you were a child you didn’t eat Wheaties, you didn’t have corn flakes, you didn’t grow up right and it was your parents fault.” Or because “you are a slow learner” — because someone told you that when you were a child. Or because “you aren’t disciplined enough”, or “you have great potential but you’ll never really amount to anything”…

Whatever it might be, when you say “how come I’m like this?”, your brain will answer and it will come up with a reason no matter how logical or illogical it is. The number one thing in our culture, bar none is that when someone in our culture says “why” someone says “because”.

When you say to yourself, “I don’t understand this” or “I don’t get it” you are reinforcing anything that you do not understand yet. You are making it much tougher on yourself . You are impeding your learning. On the other hand, if you say, “I wonder how soon before this begins to make sense? I wonder how quickly before I am going to be delighted in discovering what is new about this? I wonder how soon before I delight and amaze myself?” you begin to send your brain in the direction that is useful for you.

As you ask yourself those questions, your brain may not come up with the quick “because” answer because you are posing a question to yourself that you don’t yet know the answer to. Wouldn’t it be a lot more fun finding out? Wouldn’t it be a lot more interesting to think “gee, I wonder how exquisitely talented I can become? I wonder how I can use language to do things that I never yet before considered possible?

I wonder who I am going to find that presents a challenge and I wonder how I am going to delight and amaze myself in overcoming that challenge and doing that in ways that I never before thought possible?” Does that sound like a more useful way to begin looking at the world? … a more useful way, a way that brings you more delight, more pleasure and speeds up the amount of time in which you learn anything?

We have told ourselves a lot of things in our lives. A lot of them aren’t even true. In Mind Design™, what we want to do is get your whole mind, your whole brain, your whole being moving in a direction that as you move in that direction you pick up the kind of things you want to be doing.

You pick up the skills you want to have. You practice, you use them, and you find out how they contribute to your being, how you contribute to others, how you move through the world with these win/win outcomes and make your life and the lives of those around you a lot more fun!

During the Mind Design™ program, you are going to learn a way to ask yourself the kind of questions that get you the results you want. To be truly successful, fulfilled and secure, you must make a habit of asking the kinds of questions that give you power, drive and energy.

For now, I want you to commit to making a change for yourself, commit to your goals and commit to asking yourself a new set of questions. By doing this, you will be able to succeed in your goals beyond your wildest expectations.

You are already asking yourself questions every moment of the day. If you say “yes, Rex, That’s true” or “no Rex that is not true”… the only way you could answer that is by having asked yourself a question!

For at least the next 21 days, I want you to ask yourself a different set of questions first thing every morning, before going to bed and any moment you can throughout the day.

You will want to write them down, carry them with you, pin them up where you will see them and be reminded to ask. Remember what you do now determines the quality of your future. The quality of your life depends on the quality of the questions you ask.

Some Sample Questions

How come I am so lucky?
Why am I so wonderful?
What new wonderful things will I discover?
How can I become thinner and enjoy the process?
I wonder in how many ways I can become better and better?
I wonder how quickly I can achieve my ideal weight?
Which sensation in my body feels the very best right now?
How quickly will I begin to learn these new skills?
How naturally and easily will I begin to pay attention to pleasant feelings?
How soon will I begin to notice with delight how happy I can become?

Using Questions With Others To Be More Persuasive

In the same way that you ask yourself questions that direct your mind, you can use questions to direct the mind of your customers an clients. The mind is easily programmed and lead to make decisions within the options that are given.

Some Sample Questions

Would you like to order your dessert now or when you have your coffee?
Is this cash or charge?
When customers are asked “would you like a large or small coke?” most take a small. However when asked, “would you like a large one?” most take a large.
Do you realize how excited it is going to be when you take this vacation?
How quickly can we finish our meeting?
In how many different ways are you going to enjoy this house?

Well, there you have it again. Have you discovered yet the power of asking yourself powerful Directed Questions™. Why did I call them Directed Questions™? Because that is what they are! You direct your attention to what you want instead of focusing on what you don’t want. I hope you will enjoy the power of these powerful questions all the time every day!” Rex Sikes

In how many different ways can you delight and amaze yourself today?

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Do You Know How To Turbo Charge Your Mind For Success And Happiness?

ask for what you want and be prepared to get it

“An important area of my work since 1980 has been in the area of how questions direct the mind, the thinker, and how they can be used more effectively than affirmations. I have included an article I wrote on using questions when you write articles or emails. It contains powerful information you can use in your daily life to make positive lasting changes. Whether you are interested in writing or not I suggest you read it.

Since I began my work and shared it in articles, seminars, and home study programs, countless numbers of people have used my approach to get wonderful results personally and professionals. This is marvelous and I feel grateful and happy that people have truly benefited around the world.

A few others have piggy backed on my efforts and helped spread the concept. Credited or not, I am always happy if people are getting good results and value from anything I have shared, whether or not I am the one sharing it.

Here is an article I wrote for the newsletter of my friend ‘Mr. Fire’  Joe Vitale (seen in The Secret). I share it here because I think it can help you in many ways. It is NOT just about writing but about directing your brain in ways that are most useful and effective. Enjoy!

‘How Can Questions Make Your Writing More Hypnotic?

by Rex Steven Sikes

Copyright for this article is owned by Rex Steven Sikes. It’s used here with his permission.

Did you know there are actually three languages inside the English language? That’s right, at least three!

There is the language of pictures or how things appear, how we see or view them in our mind as well as out there in the real world.

Second, there is the language of sounds or what we say to ourselves and what we hear on the inside.

And third there is the language of feelings, like when something wonderful grabs hold of us and makes us feel warm and special inside.

Knowing the three languages and incorporating them into your hypnotic writing makes your appeals even more powerful. Words like “paint, picture, imagine, bright, dim, flash,” are visual words. Words that convey sound or auditory information are words like “discuss, hear, harmony, tell, say to yourself”. And words that help us feel things are words like “warm, cold, shudder, feel, grasp, walk through, get a hold of, heart to heart”.

By spicing up your writing with these words you help others begin to imagine more clearly what you are saying because you appeal to at least three of our five senses. And that’s a tasty thing to do that will spice up your writing and make it more vivid to the people who are reading your work.

But that’s not all there is. There is something even more incredible, that directs the human mind to pay attention. Do you know what that is?

Not yet, but I have just given you some great examples. It is the power of questions. You see questions direct the mind. That is true whether you are asking a question of yourself or another person.

Perhaps you say “Yeah, who says?” See there, you just asked a question! And the incredible thing is that this is what our brains are designed to do: Ask and answer questions posed to it and find solutions and new behaviors.

Brains love questions! That’s what brains do all day long. They go in search of things they can do that make life more interesting. Your brains already know how to search for and find information. The key is learning how to use questions to direct your mind in powerful and positive ways.

The problem with most people is that they already use questions to get results they don’t want. They ask things like ‘Why do bad things always happen to me?’ or ‘How come I never do anything right?’ or ‘How come others always get ahead?’ or ‘Why am I so stupid?’

And guess what? Your brain knows exactly where to go in your personal history to find the answers. What your brain does is go on a search, and then comes back with things like ‘Well, it’s because you stuck your head in the toaster when you were four years old’, or ‘You didn’t have the right kind of teachers, or parents,’ or ‘Bad things always happen to good people’.

You see, it is automatic. Ask a question of the brain and it answers in a great variety of ways. In fact the brain keeps on working on the questions long after the answers start being delivered. You know how that is, don’t you? You certainly do if you ever experienced that critical voice that keeps ragging and nagging on you long into the night.

Would you like to find a way to end that? Would you like to be able to direct your mind in powerful, positive ways? Do you want to be more influential and positively persuasive in person—and in your writing?

The key to having more wonderful things happen within you is to help the brain help you by redirecting what it already does well. If instead of asking questions like the negative ones above, we learn to instead begin asking questions about how wonderful things are, then the brain has a positive direction to follow.

And by focusing our attention on what we want instead of what we don’t want our brains can help deliver the good things to us. There is a rule that states, ‘What you focus on you get.’ So if you are focused on negative questions and negative things, the brain goes “okay I can deliver that”.

The brain isn’t biased. Good or bad, it just does what it knows. So we need to grab hold of it and utilize it to our advantage by redirecting it and then letting it run.

For example, you ask this instead: ‘I wonder how soon before I begin to realize how talented I am?’ or ‘I wonder how quickly I can realize how fortunate I am?’ or ‘How delighted will I be to discover my powers of persuasion increasing rapidly?’

You see, when you direct your mind to what you want, your brain says, ‘I don’t know the answer but I’ll go and find out.’ And that is the key! You ask a question which sends your brain in the direction of what is positive that you want to have, but to which you don’t know the answer yet.

If you are familiar at all with powerful hypnotic languaging, you will already notice the kinds of useful hypnotic language patterns I use in these questions. If not, well then be happy there is more for you to learn which will help improve what you do. (See the http://www.idea-seminars.com.)

The incredible thing is your brain already knows exactly what to do. For example, if I ask you “Where did you get the shirt you are wearing as you read this?” Your brain probably knows what store, when, where, or that it was a gift. It won’t answer me by telling me you were abducted by aliens when you were a teenager or some other kind of frivolous answer.

It knows how to go after the class of information you present it with. And realize that I directed your mind with a question to the kind of information I was after. If others were listening to us as we spoke, their minds would be directed to where you got your shirt, as well. This is powerful to know although it may seem obvious.

So the key for your own personal improvement is asking yourself questions which lead your mind in useful directions. If you want positive results, you ask something like ‘How soon can I begin to discover the wonderful results I am already getting? And as I begin to notice those how many more can I discover that delight and amaze me?’ You would do the same if you were talking to, or writing to, another person.

Now let’s say you are selling another person a pen. And you ask, ‘Want to buy my pen?’ The person obviously can answer with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Because the question you asked didn’t lead to further exploration. It lead only to a single “I want it” or “I don’t.”

But notice if you ask ‘Do you know how delighted you will be when you buy my pen?’ You aren’t directly asking them to buy it. (Well, in fact you are using another hypnotic pattern known as embedded commands). You are focusing them on something they can’t yet know the answer to: And that is the amount of delight they may experience.

I call this Mental Aikido. You side-step the issue of buying by focusing them on a positive attribute of owning the pen: the delight. So they can say ‘no, I don’t know how delighted I will be,’ in which case you have a door open to go ahead and demonstrate it for them. Or they say ‘Yes I know how delighted I will be,’ and then they go to buy it. Or they give you further information that would be necessary for you to know to go ahead and make the sale. Any which way you cut it, you now have a powerful tool in your hands to help you influence and sell. Follow?

You can influence others by directing your own brain! In fact, when you learn how to direct your own brain and use its already existing features in a user friendly way, you will enjoy more influence, power and happiness in your life. That’s because you turn your brain into a powerful ally. And you certainly would want to do that, don’t you?

While this method of Directed Questions™ is something I teach for incredible personal power and life enhancement, I thought you might be interested in a strategy for being able to get your readers to really respond to your hypnotic writing. So here is something else you can use to really add to your hypnotic writing abilities:

These next questions are ones to ask yourself to help you become more creative and begin to be able to paint word pictures for others, so they can readily see what it is you are talking about, so that they more readily feel like going ahead with what you propose.

The brain and eyes are wired together. This means that when we move our eyes we access certain portions of our brain. When we look up we mostly access the visual portions of the brain. When we look laterally side to side or down left we mostly access the auditory portions of our brain. When we look down to the right we mostly access the kinesthetic or feeling portions of our brain. We actually access more than just these areas but we access these areas in greater portions when we move our eyes in this manner. Hence, we can learn to move our eyes systematically to gain greater access to the wonderful information stored in our brain.

Step 1. Look up (don’t move your head, just your eyes) and say ‘What do I want to show my readers?’ ‘What is it I want them to see clearly and how can I best get them to picture that in their mind?’ Spend a few seconds entertaining that question while looking up, entertaining how you can help your reader picture in their mind what it is you want them to see.

Step 2. Now move your eyes down to the left and ask ‘What is it I want them to say to themselves as they read it?’ and ‘How best can I tell them what it is I what them to really pay attention to?’ Again spend a few seconds in your own mind entertaining how you can best help your readers say those things to themselves that you would want them to say as they read your writing.

Step 3. Now move your eyes down right and ask ‘What is it I want them to feel as the read my writing?’ and ‘How best can I get them to have these feelings?’ And spend a few moments getting a grasp of what you want them to feel as they progress through your written material.

Once you have asked those questions, now take a short break and do something else for a little while. Let your unconscious mind work on it. I used to go watch TV and get caught up in a show. But soon I would find the wheels start churning, and I would hop over to the typewriter (in those days) and begin writing. Things began to flow.

If ever I got stuck, I simply asked the questions again and took another break. Later I would go back and edit and re-write the paper to polish it. But this unlocked the creative juices in a very particular and powerful way.

You ask yourself how you can show them in your writing, tell them and get them to feel in your writing. You can additionally ask ‘What is it I really need to say to get them to buy? What do they really need to know? How can I best word my letter to really get my points across? How soon can I find the words and ideas flowing through me in a way that amazes and delights me?’

Or ask any variation of those questions that leads you to the results you want. Then take a break and let your unconscious mind go to work. But remember to come back to the project after your unconscious has had a little time to work on it for you. Often I found that once, maybe two or three times, were necessary to get it the way I really wanted it.

Remember you want your reader to be able to picture themselves using your product. You want them to imagine what it would be like to have it or to miss out on it. You want to paint vivid detail in the mind’s eye of your reader to help them to have the feelings of wanting, desire, or need for your product. Or to feel that’s enough to stop whatever they are currently doing and follow through on what your proposal is.

You want them to say ‘yes’ inside their head and hear positive sounds and voices as they read through your letter. Yeah this is great, this makes sense, wow I can do this yes. And you want them to have the feelings of desire, certainty and taking action. You really want to take them by the hand and walk them through this process. Combine this with your other hypnotic writing skills and you become a real powerhouse.

So remember to ask the questions which direct your mind to what you want your reader to see, hear and feel. Direct your reader to what you want to be able to show them, tell them and help make them feel. You do this by using questions to direct your mind to what you need to pay attention to first in order to influence some body else.

By previewing in your mind what you need them to see, hear and say, and feel to themselves, you can begin to paint pictures with your words that will get them excited about your product or service in a way that makes them feel they have to have it.

And this truly is hypnotic, isn’t it?

Joe ‘Mr Fire’ Vitale Newsletter link:  


Copyright Rex Steven Sikes IDEA Seminars 2000 If you’d like to learn more about directing your mind for success using Directed Questions™ and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) go to IDEA Seminars website http://www.idea-seminars.com for home study products.

NOTE: I returned to college in the 80’s. I don’t feel I am any smarter than anyone else. I listened to my professors for the sensory language they used most often, and I noticed how they moved their eyes and gestured while they spoke or thought about a question they were asked.

THEN I wrote my term research and term papers, and answered my essay tests questions utilizing what I had noticed, using the words the professor seemed to prefer. I attribute this practice as the one that took me from a D- student to an A student. I LITERALLY learned to speak their language.

I’d get notes on my papers like ‘You clearly see how this is important’ or “You have a great grasp on the material’ or “I liked the tone of your discussion’. As I said, I’m no smarter I just learned how to better communicate with people who are important. Aren’t there areas and people in your life where doing similarly would be useful?

If I can learn to benefit in this way you can too! Wouldn’t it be wonderful to transform your life in simple yet powerful ways by learning a few new things? I’m sure it would be, don’t you?” Rex Sikes

I wonder how delighted you will be to discover yourself having an amazing day, today?

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Do You Have The MindSet To Succeed?

act as if you already have it

“Do you want to succeed in career and life? If you want to be happy or and enjoy more of what life offers you need to adopt a winning mindset. To enjoy enduring success you must think as a successful person does. Attitude is everything.

If a successful person wants to do something it never occurs to them that they can’t do it. They believe in themselves and that they can accomplish what they want. They passionately pursue their goals because in their heart they know they can be, do or have anything they put their mind efforts into getting.

Do you think and behave this way? If they want it it is a done deal! The successful person would never question it. They have confidence in their ability to use their minds to create the circumstances they want created. The successful person takes 100% responsibility for achieving. They make things happen!

The person may adjust plans as needed but failure is not an option. Determination and persistence rule. The successful person believes in his/her abilities to make it happen. He believes it will happen and does not let circumstances or troubles get in the way. Challenges are perceived as just part of the game.  There is no defeat only temporary situations.

To succeed the mind must be conditioned for success.  Failure is preceded by thoughts of failure thought over again. Success is preceded by thoughts of success thought over and over again. Whatever we do repeatedly becomes a habit. Through correct repetition over time you can form positive habits. Happiness and success are habits.

It is habitual, automatic thinking. Your mindset precedes the results. If you are getting negative results it is due to your mind set. If you are getting positive results it is due to your mindset. If you aren’t getting what you want you need to change your mind set. Examine, evaluate, become aware and change your thinking as you need to.

Those who can are those who think they can. Happiness is a great indicator of success, yet, most people think success will bring them happiness. Build the habit of happiness. Build the habit of success. It is simple, it takes some discipline and it can be accomplished. Yet, most people don’t do it.  Will you? What is it you want in life?

Napoleon Hill stated, ‘Whatever  the mind can conceive and believe you can achieve.’  You can be, do and have anything you can imagine when you develop the attitude that you can. Happiness is not in the results the results come as a result of your happiness. Find your bliss first and everything else will fall into place.

Celebrate and enjoy. Be thankful and delighted. Stay optimistic, positive and powerful. You become what you think about. Henry Ford stated, ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right!’ So, what you are thinking and feeling most of the time?” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day of discovery!

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Are Your Habits Creating Success Or Failure?

the choice to have a great attitude

“Success and happiness is a matter of habit. So is failure and defeat. Either your habits support you and uplift you or they don’t. You get whatever you think about most. You get back whatever you do most.

You need to ensure that you have the right habits to get what you want.  You can’t succeed easily if you have the habit of defeated thinking and feeling. If your habits don’t support you YOU MUST develop new habits to replace the ones that work to keep you down.

You rarely get what you want if you are not the person in charge of your own thinking. You might be lucky once in a while but most often you are like a cork bobbing in the water. You are drifting. Sometimes things work out sometimes they don’t.

The only way to insure more consistent results is to put yourself in charge and take 100% responsibility for everything that happens good or bad. You may not like this idea but once you completely accept this notion you come into your true power.

You stop blaming. You stop putting the causes for your success or failure outside of yourself. It is accurate that there are outside influences on you but you are the one who decides how you will respond. Circumstances are neutral until you decide whether they are positive or negative.

A true person of power can celebrate during the greatest disasters and in the face of calamity. When you can be delighted and celebrate regardless of what is going on around you or to you YOU are not a fool. You are a victor because you do not let things bring you down

You determine how you will feel. You are in charge. You are powerful and positive. You created successful thought habits.

From this seat of power you are a creator. Because you feel good in spite of circumstances you are able to more readily recognize opportunity and take advantage in ANY situation. Consider this example, successful people know how to make money in any economic climate. Making money for them is habit.

Many make their most money when times are bad. It isn’t the situation that should dictate you, rather you should dictate how you take advantage of any situation. When things don’t work out they way you may have hoped learn what you can from the experience.

When you have the mental attitude that you are in charge no matter what you make things happen. When you have the attitude that no matter what you are blessed and lucky all the time then you open yourself to have a most incredible life. When you can be happy and celebrate regardless of circumstances life is delicious.

To be the victor you must tell your mind what you want over and over again. There is no end to it. Repetition creates habit. Correct repetition creates the correct habit. Persistence is necessary in order to get what you want. It is simple YOU become what you think about day and night.

The subconscious mind will accept any statement that you keep repeating to it through words and by any other means. You affirm what you want in an emotional state of highly charged positive feelings. Intense feeling accompanying your thoughts, (internal images) and your self-talk (affirmations) IS what makes it work.

Repeat your affirmations and visualizations (as suggested in previous posts) in a state of enthusiasm backed up by faith and the subconscious mind acts more quickly. Faith is a state of mind wherein whatever it is you are going to do, whatever it is you want, you can see it already in a finished act even before you begin.

You can do whatever you make up your mind to do unless you give away your power along the way. Feel blessed, celebrate, be enthusiastic and joyful no matter what. Have faith that you will make happen what you want to happen regardless of whatever life throws at you. Make these a habit and nothing can hold you back!

Know you will find a way even if you don’t know what that way is at this moment. It will become obvious to you as you move forward. Have faith! Believe in yourself. Then what you want is taken over by the subconscious an acted upon immediately.  Stay with it, never give up and you will get what you want. Act from your power.

Define your chief purpose. Write it out so that you clarify it, understand it an memorize it. Start repeating it day in and day out. See it in your mind’s eye as already accomplished. Celebrate and enjoy! Say thank you all through out your day! Delight in all moments and you will discover so much more!

The more you think positive and the more you feel good the quicker and easier the process becomes. The faster you make it a reliable habit. The faster and easier you make things happen because you create momentum. Keep repeating this process until your subconscious mind picks it up and automatically works on it. This is how you make success a habit!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic  day!

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