Category Archives: Goals

Realist or Dreamer?

nothing happens unless we first dream

“There are those who will say ‘I am a realist when it comes to thinking’. Interestingly enough, a realist may see what is there but only a visionary can see what can be.

One may be good at recognizing what is present the other builds the future. All innovation stems from visionaries and dreamers, who saw what needed to be added to the present to make it better.

A realist never flew a dreamer made it possible.” Rex Sikes

glorious red sky purple mountains grass

“Each day, focus your attention on what you want. Each day, take one step that will bring you closer to it. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE! The key is to identify it, claim it for yourself, and believe that you are worthy to have it.”Iyanla Vanzant

take step in right direction

“Are you interested in where you want to go, what you want to do and accomplish or are you more interested in defending where you are now and why you are there?” Rex Sikes

what holds u back is who u think u are not

“If you want to succeed in your life, remember this phrase: That past does not equal the future. Because you failed yesterday; or all day today; or a moment ago; or for the last six months; the last sixteen years; or the last fifty years of life, doesn’t mean anything… All that matters is: What are you going to do, right now?” Anthony Robbins

everydat is a new beginning

“You want positive changes in your life. You want your life to change. Then you must change things in your life. Change your thoughts, your attitudes, your beliefs.

You want things different, you want them better then you must change your thinking. When you do your feelings and your behaviors will change. When your thinking, feelings and behaviors change your life will change.

You will think, feel and act differently which will allow you to create what it is and attract what it is you want You can make your life radically better, easier, happier, healthier and wealthier but it is all up to you to do that.

You must take the first step. Begin today to develop an new attitude and then you will discover all the many different wonderful places you can go.” Rex Sikes

I wonder how many delightful good and new discoveries you can have for yourself this day?

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Do You Know Your Power?

your future begins w your next thought

“The beginning of all creation, of all creative endeavors, is to see it in your mind. Everything first begins with thought. What you think about constantly is what you get. What thoughts occupy your mind?

The one thing you absolutely can take control of IS your thinking. You must be rigorous, dedicated, persistent in learning how to control your thoughts because for so long you just let them run on of their own accord. If you don’t take control of your thoughts they will control you – they already do.

Start today by deciding to create what you want in your life and then keep at it. Never give up and you will learn how to steer your mind to the positive thought that allow you to flourish. You will create plans that you will make happen. You first must initiate the process, stick with the process to reap what you sow.

BECAUSE you already are reaping what you have been sowing. Your present is the result of what you previously sowed. 

Consider this: Whatever you are currently thinking, most of the time during your days, is creating your future. Your present thoughts determine your future reality. Don’t you think it is about time you took charge of the process?

Now is the time to take deliberate control and create all the good you want to include in your life. Think positive!” Rex Sikes

I hope your day is astonishing!

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Who Is In Charge? It’s A Really Simple Concept

if you don't someone else

“It is a very simple concept, yet most people somehow miss it. Due to prior conditioning or whatever we want to attribute it to people just seem to miss it. The concept is easy to grasp, it is straight forward and clear cut.

The concept is simply this – Either you are in control of your own thoughts OR you are not.

You are either in charge of your own life OR you are not.

You are either in the driver’s seat OR you are not.

You are either creating the life you want OR you are not.

It is either up to you OR it is up to someone else.

It is easy to understand yet most people will make excuses, give their power away, blame or attribute everything good or bad to others instead of taking possession of their own power and unlimited ability.

Most people don’t live the life they want to or dream of. People settle for something else instead of doing whatever positive good it takes to be and do and have what they want in life.

Either you do it or you don’t. Very simple.

The question is when will you begin to create the life you want if you aren’t going to begin this moment?

How long will you put it off?

When is enough enough?

How much of life are you willing to miss out on?

Stop wasting your time and begin making life the life you want. IT ALL BEGINS inside your own head, it begins with your thoughts.

As Henry Ford said “If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right. Stop wasting your own time and begin to day. Live your dreams.” Rex Sikes

Make your day especially beautiful, not only for you but for someone else too!

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Have To Change Direction Part 4

whatever we plant in our subconscious

Hopefully, you are enjoying these blog posts as much as I am being able to share them. Much of this material I made available at other times in other fashions. It is exciting to be able to do similarly here.

I don’t pretend to be a writer. I am not. I simply try to share my thoughts. For much of my life I speak professionally in front of groups and extemporaneously. Here you get a similar stream of consciousness.

I attempt to provide you with multiple analogies and examples to help you remember the concepts. Just as in habit formation we need repetition, the more we repeat the principles and concepts the more we remember them. Remember how you learned your times tables. Over and over again.

Keep in mind that the more positive you think the more positive you are able to think. The more you do the more you are able to do. It becomes a reliable habit.

The road ahead will always be twisty and turning and you will have many times when you need to steer back to center many times. That is just the nature of personal change.

Along the path to mastery of any skill there are setbacks, pitfalls and plateaus. What researchers have discovered is the path to becoming better is not a straight path at all but looks more like a stair case.

Once we begin learning anything, playing golf or the piano, or knitting or public speaking what often occurs are, and especially in the beginning, some tough times. It is difficult, we have never thought or behaved or played this way before.  As we continue we get better. Just like riding a bike. We attempt to do many things at once and we can’t pay attention to all of them so it seems almost overwhelming, still most of us managed to do it.

As we progress we may have what is ‘beginner’s luck’ when we perform exceptionally, we are in the zone, everything is right and goes well. Then, there may also come along a plateau phase where nothing we do is correct. We actually perform worse. Typically, we get frustrated and angry without disappointing performance.

What we did not know unless we are told OR have experienced playing or performing long enough is that our life will be visited b by these plateaus many times. It appears these plateaus are necessary for improving. These plateaus give us pause while our unconscious minds assemble all the learning bits. It literally seems to suppress some activity while it makes sense of all the learning experiences, hence the sudden lapse in co-ordination or progress.

It will take as long as it takes to get through this plateau and the timeframe is different for everyone. The best use of your time when these occur is to relax, let go, enjoy and do something else. Take a break from the sport or learning activity and come back renewed and refreshed at another time. If you do play stop criticizing yourself or expecting yourself to be perfect. Cut yourself some slack, appreciate that you are learning and celebrate that you are on your way. Have fun in the meantime.

Then when the plateauing is over the learning curve begins again. Upward and onward until the next time the brain needs to assemble everything. It is said some of our dreaming is doing this very thing on a daily or nightly basis.

During your journey of being more positive you discover that as you engage this process is that it gets easier to utilize.

As you repeat it over and over on each occasion you are beginning the process of positive habit formation. Through repetition and through time you make it a habit. Once you have developed the  habit you will be delighted to find yourself automatically doing it. You will also discover yourself using it more frequently to transform other limitations you previously we aware of.

SO the best way to develop the habit more quickly is to infuse your positive thoughts with positive emotion. Feel wonderful, find the best you can feel through the day and enjoy it. Nurture the process, relax about it, don’t force it and have some fun.

A habit can be said to be a skill that does not require or even enlist your conscious thinking about it. As creatures of habit we pretty much do things consistently unless interfered with. For example, you probably sleep on the same side of the bed each night, you may even have a particular bed time and ritual you do prior to sleeping. You awaken in the morning and you shower and get ready. You have a bathing order. You wash top down or bottom up same fashion every day. My guess is this rarely if ever varies with you. When you get dressed you begin the same way and in the same order. The same foot gets the sock on first, the same leg goes into the pant leg. You most likely drive to work the very same route and return the same unless you have to stop and shop or go somewhere or for any other reasons. We get angry similarly over many of the same things that always make us angry, or we get upset, sad, lonely over the same things. 

It has been said the average human thinks at least 60,000 thoughts a day and upwards of 60% of them are the same thoughts as the day before AND the day before that.  Whew, who is doing the counting?

Bottom line we are creatures of habit. We engage in the same behaviors and thoughts on a daily basis without every stopping to consider why or how we developed these. Even though there may be better ways of doing what we do, this IS how we do it.

Imagine that! Most of what we do IS already by habit. We are even known by our habits. Other people can frequently predict how and what we may do or react like in given situations. Sometime, they or we are surprised, but pretty much we are reliable patterned creatures of habit.

So when I talk of making positive thinking a habit it is not as though you have never done it before. You have developed lots of habits good and bad, some required much energy and attention while others seems to develop outside of our awareness. Either way we have learned and set habits. Since we have done this many times we can do it again with complete purpose.

You might consider a habit  a skill you do without thinking consciously about it and yet you can enlist your conscious mind when you need to. Driving is an example. You use both your conscious mind and unconscious to drive (as you do everything).

Driving is both an conscious operation and a collection of unconscious habits. This is why you can drive without paying attention and while lost in thought, however, that is NOT the safest way to drive. Safe driving requires both conscious attention and reliable unconscious skill. as

I believe the same is true of a happy successful life.

Developing the positive thinking habit works the same way all habits are formed. It requires your conscious determination, repetition, sticking with it without quitting, and encouragement.

For this discussion, the analogy I will use is taking up running.

To start, a person decides to to get healthy, or for whatever reason, by jogging.  After making the decision to being one must ACTUALLY begin. This overwhelmingly obvious point is lost on the procrastinator who will get around to it someday. By the way, the cure for all procrastination is to put off procrastinating for another day. 

The person goes out to jog. At first, they cant jog far or long and they might even get sore but if they keep jogging a bit each day pretty soon they can jog further with less discomfort. Soon they begin to notice the benefits of jogging. They feel better when they run, they feel better after they run and it has gotten easier.

Because of these benefits and because the body releases chemicals (another aspect we shall discuss at another time related to positive thinking) the person actually begins to look forward to running as a result. They get disappointed if they can’t for some reason. Jogging has become part of their daily routine, they have formed the habit of jogging daily. They even think about it when not jogging.

We form positive habits by being deliberate about forming them. 

We make the decision, we do the action, we keep doing it without quitting and in time the habit is formed. The key to making something habitual is how often we do it without quitting and the enjoyment we derive from it. I have pointed out how the military conditions a troops thinking by repetition and high emotional involvement. That is a great example of conditioning and making habits.

People have learned all sorts of habits, good, bad or destructive, and indifferent habits/ A good habit may be brushing after meals, thinking positively, a bad habit may be smoking or over eating or picking one’s nose in public, and indifferent habit may be which sock you put on first or your bathing order.

We do know habits are hard to break. If you have ever tried to stop engaging in a bad habit, like biting one’s nails, you know if is tough. So a wise way to think is that we should develop good habits to serve us because they too will be reliable and difficult to stop.

Don’t you think it is time that we take charge and develop positive habits? Once you develop the positive thinking habit it too is difficult to stop. Isn’t that great news? You make a positive, powerful and permanent change. You develop a reliable habit to automatically use and to put into use whenever you need to or want to consciously.

I think this is fabulous news for us humans, don’t you?

Still, as I have attempted to point out, the world doesn’t change necessarily, it is whatever and however it is. It keeps going on. Some may think we do have influence as creators, but that is not in the scope of this discussion at this time. Perhaps, we do have influence as creators.

The point is regardless of what the world offers you or why you can develop your abilities though practice (or rehearsal) so that you can determine how you may positively respond to whatever it offers you.

Just because bad things happen one does not have to choose to feel unhappy. There is always a choice. We will explore this more in depth at another time as well.

You can change your response to what the world offers you. You can learnt that you have choices you may never have exercised before.

The way you do this is to use do what I have been describing for yourself. Take the time and make it a habit. You will find then that the challenges thrown at you actually contain within them opportunities. 

You will transform your thinking and as you do more and more things become good, whether they are inherently good or not. None of that matters. You determine how you think, how you feel and how you act regarding what the world offers. You become the victor.

When you do these things and change your thinking for the positive you enhance your ability to make good decisions. When you act on your good decision you get good results. Who doesn’t want to get better results? You do, don’t you?

I think this is a marvelous way to live. Being in control doesn’t mean having to control all the time. It simply means that whenever necessary, or whenever you want to, you are able to be more resourceful. You are able to exert control when you have to.

Being in control means you put yourself in charge of your creative processes and fashion yourself and your life more as you want it to be. In this regard you are very much a creator.

Whether you are new to this thinking or seasoned in this approach think positively about it and you will find more positivity in life. Look for what is good and new. It is there, right in front of you, right inside you, IF you will ONLY look.

There is the saying, ‘the kite rises against the wind’ which means that challenges provide us opportunity to grow. We become stronger when challenged, when we need to rise to the occasion. Muscles are built by lifting weights. The main point to understand is that however, you regard challenges is how you will experience them.Opportunity is everywhere, you can learn from any experience. 

So to sum this all up: We become what we think about most of the time through the day. So think powerful positive thoughts about yourself, others and situations and events. Look for the very best and you find the best. Give the very best you have because you will get back whatever you put out there..

You don’t have to let negative happenings or negative thinking bring you down. It can ALWAYS be otherwise. If you slip up, get up! Go on, steer back to center without drama, criticism, or fanfare. Celebrate that you noticed you were off track and get back on track. It is that simple.

In order for life to be better you have to change it. You will discover many things that delight and amaze you. Changes will come more swiftly and you will find yourself happier and healthier overall. All you have to do is begin. Take the first step forward.

I believe this is worth it, what about you? Will you begin to day to make a real difference in your life today? What things can you do to make yourself feel more wonderful? How much fun can you stand today?” Rex Sikes

There are many things to continue to discuss and we will in future blog posts. I hope you are enjoying reading and putting to work suggestions you get here. I welcome comments. Meanwhile make your day glorious, after all it is the only day, today, that you have.”

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Have To Change Direction Part 3

change your attitude and it will change your life

Once you begin implementing this process you open a window for change. You create a space where more good things become possible. Your life becomes more of an adventure because you look for and find more good things to include. You find more good things about yourself. As you begin to look for more good in yourself and others and in the world you actually DO find more good.

When you take moments and transform them by transforming your thoughts and feelings for the better you build a rich reserve of positive feelings. When you feel better and think better more of the time you are in a better mental and physical space to recognize opportunities when you may encounter them. When you are a positive influence and you resonate with positive energy other like minded people tend to gravitate toward you. As you transform yourself others and the world can respond positively to you.

So someone might say, (counter example) well bad things still happen to good people. This is true. You may be the most positive person, believing in all good things, and some ‘terrible’ calamity may fall you or a loved one. I am not saying the outer world conforms to you. Things still happen, but how you respond to them makes all the difference. How you label actions and events and people make a big difference. What you glean or learn from these, how you adjust and move forward is all up to you. Your perception about them is what makes them what they are for you

Choice always exists for you. This is important to understand. Even though your current situation may not be desirable you do not have to choose to be unhappy about it.

I am not stating that you must be happy or stoic about it. I am only suggesting that it is your choice how you respond. If bad things are going to happen anyway why would you ever choose to feel unhappy about it? From the answer you give to that question will learn much about yourself. I am not saying there is a correct answer just examine your answer. What might you learn about you?

If you choose to not let it make you unhappy so be it. If you choose to be unhappy about it so be it. Don’t resist, accept, allow.

If at some point you wish you had made a different choice, my guess is there will be another opportunity at another date.

Celebrate whatever your choice is. You will get further faster by loving and accepting and treating yourself positively than by criticizing, self loathing and regret. UNLESS, these latter feelings catapult you into a positive direction they don’t serve to make you better.

There is a reason for regret. We feel regret so that we don’t repeat whatever we did. If you regret treating a loved one or stranger poorly then stop it. If  regret gets you to stop treating someone poorly and begin treating them better, then in this case, regret is a good thing.

It got you to stop so it was an asset. If you can make the change it is positive to do so regret then serves a function. If you cannot do anything at all about it, if the person is dead or long gone, or it is just something you can’t change, then it is an emotion that does not serve you at well in this regard. The same is true regarding guilt.

This is the point in our life when the Serenity Prayer may be useful to consider: ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference’.

Wisdom is more important than knowledge because with a little knowledge you can do great things good or bad. Wisdom is knowing the difference. Again, here is where I think good taste out to prevail. Make the wisest choicest in the best possible interests of yourself and others. Do no harm. Do no harm to others nor to yourself. Instead, love and allow even when you don’t understand. Live and let live. What you resist will persist. Seek the higher way of being.

As I stated, when difficult times arise, acceptance is a worthy response. Sometimes we need to be able to accept and allow and not endeavor to escape or avoid or dictate how something or someone must be.

Acceptance, for me however, does not mean becoming a victim or giving up. Acceptance means learning how not to resist. Whatever we resist persists. When we actively fight against something we are IN A fight. It means we are actively engaged in combating something we don’t want. We are focusing on the what we don’t want instead of being focused on what we do want.

It is a fine point, subtle but powerful, and we will explore later. For now, let me use this example. Not wanting to be poor is NOT the same as wanting to be rich. Focusing on what you don’t have or lack is NOT the same as focusing on what you want to create or gain or on abundance. Knowing what you don’t want or won’t tolerate sets your limits but it DOES NOT provide you a useful direction to what you do want. It is similar to driving down the road looking in the rearview mirror. It is not useful in getting you where you want to go.

So don’t resist. Don’t give what you do not want any more energy or time. Let it be, accept it for whatever it is, and steer gently from it. Acknowledge whatever is important to acknowledge. Learn from it and when ready move in the direction you actually want to go in.

It is okay to grieve, it is okay to be sad. We all feel these things. All emotions have their place. We are human after all. We don’t have to insist on being otherwise.There is a season for everything, a time to sow a time to reap, a time to rest.

Don’t force yourself and for goodness sakes don’t force others. Allow them to be whomever they are. Do not pressure them to change or be different for you. Don’t place unreasonable demands on yourself nor on others. Instead, celebrate your differences.

This is where The Serenity Prayer makes a lot of sense so I repeat it:  ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference’.

As you become facile with this process it gets easier and easier. It becomes a reliable habit. As a reliable habit you are able to handle more of what life throws at you. Anything may come along and up set you, rain on your parade, ruin your party or downright devastate you, but you will more likely recover quickly and more easily, no matter how difficult it was, by being a positive powerful person. You would only wallow longer if you are a negative person most of the time. Face it, it does rain and shine on the good and the bad.

None of what I am suggesting is about controlling the world or other people rather it is about your relationship to the world, how you move through it. I think we all deserve to make life grand and have it as wonderful as it can be. This means many different things to many different people so I am not drawing any conclusions here.

What I am telling you is that YOU can make for yourself the life you wan to have whether you were born and live with outstanding incredible odds, or whether you were born on Easy Street. You can have the life you choose. The fist step, going back to other writing is to conceive of it, Then believe you can have it. We have discussed believing in this blog post for a little bit.

I know this, when you become a more positive person you discover more wonderful moments and fewer hardships because you have opened up the possibility to include many more good things into your life. You enrich yourself with positive thoughts, feelings, actions, people and experiences. Like does attract like. Even if crap happens overall your life becomes far more magnificent.

In developing and maintaing a positive outlook, in making positive thinking a habit, you become your own champion thinker and doer. You become a positive resource unto yourself and others.

When you stop yourself from traveling the old road way to the old house, and you take a break, go into neutral and shift your thoughts to positive you move from victim to victor. As a victor you are better able to handle and resolve the crap that may happen WITHOUT losing your positive focus or momentum. But,if you do lose it, you know how to get yourself back on track and on target. If you do momentarily forget your way to the mansion, you will more easily find it.

Promoting a healthy positive attitude in yourself makes life much better all the way around.

What you absolutely WILL discover when you engage this process is that it gets easier to utilize.

Think about a computer software program. I don’t like the analogy that much, but it returns us to the notion of servo-mechanism. Remember a servo-mechansim is just does what it is designed to do without caring about the outcome or the content.

Take this writing software program for example. It is designed so you can run any content though it. The program is constructed so you can write and publish but it doesn’t care whether you write well or not, whether you write inspirational material or drivel, whether you write about love or hate. All that is your choice. You determine what you write about.

Our unconscious, or subconscious. or other than conscious (all just words for processes that occur outside of our awareness and in many cases our voluntary control) is the program. It runs on and on. You supply the content it publishes it. So the mechanism is there to return to you whatever you put in it. Recall, GIGO,garbage in garbage out notion. If you dwell on negative thoughts your unconscious finds and supplies you with more of the same, if you dwell on positive thoughts it will find and supply you with more. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT CARE!!! It returns whatever you give it.

Most of us are better at one form of thinking than the other hence the results in our life. Obviously, if we are predominately negative then the world, our life reflects that back. On the other hand if we are predominately positive our world, our life reflects that back IT DOES NOT CARE.

The question for each of us is: If we are not happy, ecstatic, with who we are, what we have accomplished and what we have in life then when will we begin to take responsibility to change it for the better? If life isn’t glorious we can do something about it. One thing is certain, if we do nothing about it, it is bound to remain the same. If you do want something better, you can have it. If life is already incredible it can be even more so. Who knows if there is any upper limit on what we could accomplish if we only decided to try and then did not give up.

I have outlined a process in these pages that you can use whenever you discover yourself engaged in thinking or feeling other than how you want to. You do not ever have to do anything with it unless you want to and knowing ABOUT IT will not do anything for you. It is only when you do it and continue to do it that you will benefit.

So if you want a more wonderful life isn’t it time to begin doing something? You don’t have to take my suggestions or word for it you may find another way. Find what works for you. I do know however, if you do not change something you are doing you will keep getting the same results.

What is it you would like to enjoy more of in your life? What positive things about you might you change for the better? If, you could do or be anything during the rest of your life what would you choose? What if, the next days and weeks and months ahead you became more and more delighted and surprised gradually, and discovered yourself just feeling incredible more of the time, wouldn’t that be cool? Wouldn’t that be worth having for yourself?” Rex SIkes

More next time. In the meantime make every moment miraculous!

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Need To Change Direction Part 2

let go of thoughts that don't make u strong

“Once you begin using the formula I provided you you will discover many positive changes in your life. As with any process or program you need to continue with it. It is mental and spiritual nutrition. You don’t eat once and never eat again you eat to maintain your health and well being. In the same way you don’t just think one positive thought and never do it again. It is a daily exercise regime. Once you engage in the process and discover then fantastic benefits you want to continue and you will.

I have been sharing this process and these concepts for many decades now. I introduced people to my methods in personal development trainings that I conducted for the public and for businesses (and still do), in my Mind Design programs through my training company IDEA Seminars, in workshops and NLP trainings and seminars worldwide, and in my coaching and mentoring and consulting sessions.

I have seen and worked with scores and scores of people and have heard back from hundreds of people from all over who have changed their lives for the better using this transformational approach.  I released some of this material, the process, on Attitude Activator Audio Program, a guided relaxation program for activating your attitude whenever needed, in the early 90’s. Since then more and more people through live seminars and through the Attitude Activator have benefited in countless ways. This is fabulously rewarding for me at the personal level.

My point is – IT WORKS – so use it. I have shared it here with you so you too can improve your lives as many, many others have. If it is possible for any one person to make positive changes it is possible for you. Keep in mind, some others are not nearly as fortunate as you or I may be and they still have forged ahead and made a positive difference for themselves. If they can, we can. If I am able, you certainly can!”

Continuing from yesterday’s writing:

“When you begin to practice what I have suggested you begin to get free from limitations. You begin to free yourself from habitual conditioning, you begin to create space to be a new you and behave in a new way.  You begin to experience the world with more delight. You find yourself expanding your boundaries safely and wisely.

It is simple process, but it is not always easy.

The method I described is not hard either. It is whatever it is. It is what ever you perceive and deem it to be. Your thoughts about it determine whether you think you can or can’t do it. Your thoughts determine whether it is easy or difficult.  Whatever you think and conclude about it makes it so.


Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” He is correct. It is up to you whether you find it easy or hard, It is up to you whether you can or you can’t. It is up to you whether you will or won’t. It is completely up to you and how you think.

Some people try to shift the responsibility from themselves and their inner processes to others and the outside world. They may say ‘it is too hard, or she won’t help me, or he prevented me, or I don’t have enough money or time, or the economy sucks’. Instead of realizing it is not about ‘the other’ or ‘the outer world’ it is about how we think. Our thinking is what determines whether we move through the world with ease or not. One saying is, ‘Our attitude determines our altitude’.

There certainly are real world constraints, I am not saying there are not, but we can more readily overcome them when we think we are the kind of person who is able to. We won’t even bother trying if we think we can’t or that it’s too hard or that other’s or circumstances will prevent us.

I return to the notion of being in charge. Who is driving the car? Who is in the driver’s seat? The road may be rough or smooth, long or short, there may be detours or broken roads, even dead ends but it is up to you to steer yourself to your destination.

Face it, we just grew up used to whining and complaining. Either we complain ourselves or we listen to others. The media is full of it. So were many of  the adults around us while growing up and our peers. We grew up with it so we accept it as normal. Until someone points it out one may not even recognize they are doing it. Negativity fits us like our skin. It is not even that positivity is difficult its just that we have had so much practice doing otherwise.

So the time has come to stop being a back seat passenger in your automobile and take the wheel. Learn the new pathway to the new glorious mansion and enjoy the journey. Don’t you really want to anyway? Wouldn’t that be exciting?

Perception IS every thing.

I have said for decades, I have asked this question of countless thousands: What is it that stops most people from anything they want to do in life? What stops them from success, from happiness, from love, from riches? What stops most people?

A THOUGHT!!! A mental packet of energy. A thought combined with a feeling. If you think you can’t and don’t feel like you can or will you most assuredly won’t. YOU WON’T.

UNLESS you change the thought and feeling.

This is why Henry Ford is correct. Whether you think you are able to or you think you are not able to YOU are right. Your thoughts, your thinking determines where you go and how far you get. Little else has such power.

SO a thought can stop you. It is insidious actually because one little ole negative thoughts invites all his nasty friends and family to join him, resulting in ‘woe is me’ thinking and ‘bad feelings’. But if a negative thought can have a Pity Party then a positive thought can do likewise in the opposite manner. One little positive thought can transform and invite so that you have a Power Party. So if a thought has that much power then you want to manage your thoughts.

When you begin thinking positive you may have many negative thoughts to over come, but don’t resist them, it isn’t about fighting them. Fighting negative thinking is just focusing on the negative. It is like the ultimate joke, the prank. Fighting the negative means you are hooked into focusing on the negative and WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS!

Recognize and accept them and then re-direct them.

STOP – Take a deep Breath!!! Remember. Go to Neutral Then Shift focus.

One positive thought can throw a positive Power Party too. Then all the friends and relatives show up and before you know it you can be feeling good. You just have to make room for this possibility. Because you may have never done so in the past, because it is not what you automatically do, at this time you have to consciously choose what you think.

It is all a matter of awareness and good taste. You become aware of the need to think more positively (most of the time during your day) and you begin to do this. Good taste means choosing really nice positive thoughts and nourishing them and not returning to or nourishing those nasty negative ones. Whichever you focus on you will get more of them. So, I think it is wise to chose the best.

Remember, if you think you are defeated you are. If you believe you can win you at least have a chance. If you think it is difficult and you can’t do it, well yup, you probably won’t. Don’t blame others, don’t blame the world, don’t even blame yourself (this is truly poor taste) just own up to it. Take responsibility and realize you won’t go uphill thinking downhill thoughts.

This is the point!!! PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING!!!!

We have opportunities when we consider them opportunities. We have challenges when we consider them challenges. Nothing is actually one way or the other. It is only as we label it.

If we label something as hard it may very well be hard. Still, you could  surprise yourself with how easy it actually is, when you give it a try. This has occurred for me. Have you ever had this happen for you? Said another way, our thoughts OR our beliefs, IF NOTHING ELSE, set the framework with how we see and experience the world around us. Sometimes we are more accurate in our assessment than other times. Some times we are WAY off base.

Have you ever tried to convince another person, especially, a child, that it they just go, if they just try it, the will have a great time?They don’t believe you, they don’t care and they are convinced it will be otherwise. However, once there they play or hang out and have a marvelous time. Thinking back on it they may not even be sure why they did not want to go or try something in the first place. Has this ever been you? Have you ever been the one refusing to try something? I sure have been.

I am aware there are counter-examples anyone can provide here. No one analogy is ever perfect and all encompassing. But here to if you are always looking for the counter-example if you are always saying ‘yes but’ or ‘nope, what about this’ then recognizing this about yourself right now should reveal to you how you have learned to think (up until now) and how you process and what examples you look for. It should tell you a lot about how you and others may get along. There is nothing wrong with what you do, I am just pointing out a tendency you may have.

If you tend to nearly always look for the counter argument then this is something you have learned to do, it is an habitual way you think. Don’t get me wrong, I grew up thinking that way, and I still do, but I have learned to think otherwise too.

Our thoughts determine who we are, how we feel, what we do and whether it is simple, easy, fun or not. This is what is typically meant when we say our thoughts create our reality.

We make it so by how we regard it. If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life. What we think about we become AND we get what we think about. Your thinking sets your boundaries.

You alone determine whether you are a ‘can do it person’ or a ‘can’t do it person’ by how you think about it.

Whether you believe the world is a great place or a terrible place, whether you think it is an abundant universe or believe in lack it is all up to HOW YOU think about it. Our thoughts determine our reality SO your thoughts determine yours.

As it has been said “You are today where your thoughts brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You can not escape your thoughts.’

I’ll give you a few fascinating examples. For example, you come home put your keys down and later go to look for them where you placed them but cannot find them. They are there but you don’t see them. You look and look but nope not there. Then all of a sudden voila’ they are there right where you put them. Have you ever had anything like this happen?  You look right at what you are wanting to find but you do not see it. While it actually is right there, momentarily at least, for you it does not exist.

Do you know how they train fleas. They collect flees and put them in an aquarium. Over the top they place a glass plate. The flees jump up and hit the plate over and over. They learn this is as far as they will be able to hop. After a few days they remove the glass and most, if not all the flees remain in the aquarium. You can perform the same experiment with flies. Catch some flies, put them in a jar and put some plastic wrap over the top. The flies bump up against the plastic and after a while decide that is as far as they are able to go. You can take off the plastic wrap and most if not all the flies will remain and even die in the jar.

They have made what researchers call a ‘premature cognitive commitment’ which means they decide on the  boundaries and then live within them. It is premature because they don’t know that you will remove the boundary, yet they continue to live as though it were in place. They are committed. The word cognitive of course means thoughts.

We are limited by our own ‘premature cognitive commitments’. We don’t have all the information and we don’t know what will change tomorrow. We live from beliefs and from thoughts we made previously. Then we habitually maintain these thoughts and these limitations.

BUT we no longer have to. We can begin to live and think differently. Understand now you can begin by choosing what you will think. Choose the best thoughts and discover new freedom. Learn that you can live, you can be and have whatever you decide you can.

You need to decide to believe you are worth it. You may want to begin to think there is plenty for everyone and if someone else is able to get rich so are you. You might as well consider that you deserve to be happy, healthy and wealthy. Decide now the future you want to have and take charge of your thinking. ‘You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you’ so choose the very best thoughts.” Rex Sikes

More tomorrow. I hope you will find blessings everywhere you go and fill your day with smiles.

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Need To Change Direction PT 1

that i do today imporves ur tomorrows

“Some days you just have to steer back to center more than usual. Challenges or less than glorious feelings may arise. It is certainly easy to get caught up in them, face it, you and I probably have been doing that for many years.

Now is the opportunity to do something new. Now is the time to learn how to get back on track when we get swept off track.

I mentioned in a precious blog post that when we drive along the road in our lane we are not going totally straight. We are always adjusting the car (or bike) back to the center of the lane. We cannot drive perfectly straight. We move the steering wheel, sometimes ever so slightly, back and forth to keep us going as straight as possible.

In sailing the skipper takes the boat back and forth to stay in the wind. Adjustments are made to keep the sails full to continue to move forward. One cannot sail in a straight line, but one sets one’s course and navigates to it by this back and forth movement capturing the wind.

Rocket guidance is a computerized system that corrects the rocket’s trajectory to keep on course. Adjustments are constantly being made to keep it heading in the direction it is intended. It has been said that most the rocket IS of course most of the time, but since the destination is known, corrections constantly made get it there. (In other posts we will address how important it is to know your destination more in depth).

Oddly, enough these analogies of correction parallel our lives. There is no such thing as a straight, easy way to happiness or success. We move towards what we want and yet there seem to be times when things go awry. As we move along there are stumbling blocks.

We might complain that this is the case because there will always be down times for us.  Just as there is night and day, cold and hot, tall and short there is good and bad. There are always contrasts in our world to notice and experience. Perhaps, we simply need to get over that. There will be good times and there will be not so good times. Accept it!

Since this IS the case there seems to be no point in complaining about it. To complain about it would be driving off course. To complain would be giving in to the less than glorious thoughts and feelings that would limit us. It would only make us feel worse. So we should not even go there. Good taste dictates we should avoid it.

We have to face that there will always be times that we don’t want, invite or enjoy. Still, this may not be a bad thing though.

Obviously, it is if one thinks it is.

Maybe our perceptions do determine how things are. Certainly, the statement, ‘Perception IS Everything’ leads one to conclude that what we perceive to be the case IS the case. Our thoughts make it so.

If instead, we considered these random unwanted events as opportunities to discover something presently hidden, this very perception could open up a whole new way of being for us.

Yes, it means reframing the act, the event or the situation. It means actively seeking the silver lining instead of paying attention to the dark clouds. It means instead of thinking negatively about negative events we choose to think positive instead. Instead of feeling bad we choose to feel differently. It means that we choose how to respond!

CHOICE! Ultimately we give ourself room to choose how to respond, instead of being swept along with no choices available.

When the world offers us moments contrary to what we want, hope for or expect,  when we get things we don’t like and are difficult for us to handle THAT is the precise moment of opportunity. Instead of thinking about it as something that sucks, we CHOOSE to think about it as a hidden opportunity.

I am not claiming there is any intelligence in the universe. Perhaps, there is divine providence, perhaps God is in charge, perhaps the universe has an infinite intelligence that we would be wise to align with but that is not my concern right now.  In this blog post I am not asserting any of that. Perhaps, there is, perhaps there isn’t, for my purpose here it doesn’t matter (even if ultimately it does).

Whether by intelligent design or random freak accidents whatever the situation IN REALITY IS, I do not know. BUT I am aware that HOWEVER I LABEL IT, determines how I react to it. IF I don’t like it, maybe I should change the label I put on it.

When bad things happen, whether small or large, when challenges come our way, after the initial shock, anger or disappointment, we would be best served to take a positive action instead of wallowing.

Like thoughts bring like thoughts so to complain only invites more negativity. If we find the positive seed inside the disappointment, the positivity will bring more positivity too. Of course, it all depends on you. Some people are comfortable feeling bad and of course, misery loves company. So you ultimately determine what you will make for yourself.

WHATEVER THESE MOMENTS REALLY ARE  when these moments come to us consider it is an opportune time  to remember to steer back to center. Declare it an opportunity for yourself whether it actually is or not.

If you want to transform your life when life provides you an unwanted moment (small or large) change how you think and feel about it.  Determine what you will make of it.

‘Perception is everything’. ‘Possession is 9/10s of the law’. When life hands you lemons make lemonade’. Think positive first and foremost and whenever you discover that you slipped – take charge. Whenever you discover you have slipped choose to think a better thought.

When should you do this? Whenever you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself or others, or the world  at large.

Assuming you are already practicing other things we discussed in my previous writings, then you use this when you are thrown some curve ball from the inside of you or from outside of you.

If you think unproductive thoughts such as  ‘I’ can’t succeed or I am hopeless’, or ‘I am too thin, too small too fat. I can’t get ahead, the world sucks. I can’t get a promotion.’ Use it on any form of limiting thinking.

The first step, when we notice we are engaged in unwanted thinking and feeling, is to STOP.


Consider that whatever is going on would continue to go on unless YOU interrupt it.

Negative thinking typically spirals into more negative thinking. Positive thinking will TOO. For most of us we have to learn how to make that positive thinking happen. That is why I have said sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns and do whatever it take to get the positive machinery into motion.

FOR WHATEVER THE REASONS most of us are just pretty damn good already at negative thinking. There is a saying: “When the going gets tough you get what you practice”. Most of us have spent our lives practicing negative thinking so we most readily and easily and reliable get that day in and day out. When unwanted events occur we get what we practiced. Don’t concern yourself with what was, let it go, relax and decide to practice something better now instead.

No time to find fault or blame that would just be adding gasoline to the fire. You were born, you grew up and you learned to do some things well that aren’t always the best choice for you. Okay so what, we all have, Now let’s get on with instead becoming who we want to be and doing what we want to do. Are you ready?

SO — whenever you find yourself thinking or feeling or behaving less than gloriously to an internal or external stimuli STOP! DISENGAGE!

YES! We have to actually STOP!  We have to disengage from the negative thinking and the negative feeling and break away from it. We need to create a space for a moment. We have to shift into neutral.

Neutral is a good place because from it we can choose where to go. In our car, from neutral, we can decide whether to engage drive or reverse and determine where and how we travel.

Breathing actually can help us do this. Taking a deep breath and holding it helps us get to neutral. Taking a deep breath changes our rhythm, shifts our physiology and interrupts the processes.

When we recognize that moment we do not want to be in – STOP – and take a deep breath, hold it a second or two and then let it out slowly. Do this a few times until you are able to notice the benefit from the change in your breathing. You can even let out a ‘sigh’, how audible depends on where you are.

We are intimately tied to our rhythms and our breathing. We have our own pace fast or slow,  we breath as we do habitually SO a shift in breathing can lead to shifts in awareness. Our thinking and feelings are intimately connected to how we are breathing.

Remember, if you want to change your life you have to change things in your life. You have to change what you are doing. So you stop and get into neutral.

When you notice  that  ‘Arrrgh’ moment STOP take that deep breath, those breaths, create that pause. Get into neutral and from neutral begin to scan in your mind for better thoughts, scan you body for and better feelings. Look for the best that you have right now.

Or look for positive memories and talents that you have in your past. Memories that make you feel good, feel well being, feel positive, powerful, happy (whatever you are able to find) when you remember those and put your focus on them. Then feel what you feel as you remember these positive moments, these resourceful moments from your past. Stay with the good thoughts and feelings it is totally fine to linger in these.

You can also begin to ask yourself, what else can you feel that would feel better? What else can you think that would be more productive? What do you need to do in order to feel more positive right now? What would be the best possible benefit for you (and others, sometimes you need to consider others positively too) right now? What is good and new? How many wonderful feelings can you begin to feel now? Which good feeling will you discover first? and so on.

You, take a breath, you take a break, you get to neutral, you shift your awareness from what was a problem and begin to what you can think and be, feel and do that is positive and good.

When you do this you INTERRUPT your habit, you break a pattern of behavior and you chose to lead it into a more productive way of being and doing. You steer it instead of letting it steer you. You are interrupting your old habits to get free from them. Then you are driving your attention and feelings to what you prefer to have instead. Hopefully, you prefer to have positive thoughts and feelings.

You may have to do this more than once at first. Perhaps once, is plenty. You may have to do it a lot depending on the perceived severity of the issue. BUT do it you must! It doesn’t matter whether you have to do it once or a lot, the point is that by doing it you are engineering a change. You are  freeing yourself up from reacting without thinking. You are taking a moment to think and decide how you actually want to be.

When you do this you ARE course correcting. You are learning to steer back to center. You are really taking charge of your own neurology. You are training your mind and your body. You are determining what will be and what you will focus on instead of being a victim of it. You are forming a great habit to have.

This is the incredible payoff!!! You are taking control! You are making your life and your experience and your moments more of what you want them to be! You are writing your history, creating your legacy.

You determine how you will experience these moments. You go from victim to victor in seconds. You go from being the backseat passenger in your car to the driver of your car! As the driver you are free to choose the destination and travel in that direction.

Are these challenges predestined, or ordained, or are they accidents and random? I don’t care, that is not the point of this discussion. They occur and that is enough reason to work with them.

When you begin to practice what I have suggested you begin to get free from limitations. You begin to free yourself from habitual conditioning, you begin to create space to be a new you and behave in a new way.  You begin to experience the world with more delight.

Isn’t it important for you to feel the very best you can and to feel this way more of the time? Wouldn’t it be marvelous if you did?

If you thought yes to those questions then there are things you can do right now to be more of who you are.

You can learn to do more of what you are capable of doing to get you the results you have always wanted. Isn’t it worth it to you to learn how to better direct your thoughts and feelings? If it took 10 years to have a most incredible life wouldn’t you work at it? What if it didn’t take 10 years or 5 or even 1 year?

What if in the next few months you could make an incredible difference for yourself that would aim you toward the best you and best life ever would you commit to those months?

Some have said, even I have said, try it for at least 30 days. That is the minimum. If you could revolutionize your life for the better over the course of the next thirty days by how you think and feel and act would you do it? Wouldn’t that be worth it?

You will never know what may be until you attempt it. Anything worth doing is even worth doing poorly at first. If you do anything well, driving a car, playing an instrument or a sport, writing or cooking chances are you sucked at it at first but you improved as long as you kept at it.

Anything worth doing well IS worth doing poorly at first.

You can do this. You can really, truly do this. You can change yourself, you can change your behaviors, you can change your circumstances and the world. It may not happen over night, it rarely does, but you can do it. You can make your dreams come true.

Here is a recap:

NOTICE what you want to change. You become aware of it. Whenever a ‘Warning,  DANGER Wil Robinson’ Moment Occurs – the very moment you become aware that you you are thinking less gloriously and feeling less gloriously than you want to you –

STOP– disengage by taking a deep breath. Hold it, let it out slowly. Sigh – repeat as necessary for a moment.  As mentioned shifting out breathing shifts our physiology so if you wish you may actually shift yours body. Perhaps, you lift your chest up, put your shoulders back, put your chin up, or move around, walk about, take an actual break and move. If sitting you might stand up, move, or walk around. Again how large your movements depend on the environment you are in.

Obviously, do this when safe. Not while driving. This should go without saying but…  You can do the mental process with your eyes open.

You take a deep breath to interrupt the pattern and to-

GET TO NEUTRAL In Neutral you scan and you –

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS and look for what is good and new. You seek the best thoughts and feelings and memories to –

CONCENTRATE on. Concentrate, entertain, focus on the feelings and thoughts. Savor these and linger on these. Feel these good feelings as fully as you are able. Remember, what we focus on expands. We become what we think about. Linger and then you –

CELEBRATE AND APPRECIATE yourself for noticing the triggering moments. Celebrate and appreciate  looking for and finding the positive thoughts or feelings.  Embrace these good feelings- linger and then –

IMAGINE yourself in the future doing this easily and naturally whenever you want to, need to and choose to because YOU ARE the kind of person who is able to do this naturally. See yourself as the person you want to be, already evolved. See this happy, healthy, positive you. Concentrate on this person and enjoy these feeling and the feelings of gratitude for who you are. No rush, when ready continue with your day.

Repeat as necessary.

SO What are you waiting for?

If you just had reasons why not come up, ‘its too hard, i don’t know how, i have tried things before, nothing ever works out for me’, then you provided excuses and those are the very thoughts you need to change. You can and you will when you give yourself permission to begin.

On the other hand, if you thought, ‘yup, why not, let’s do it, bring it on!’ GO for it!  Now.

Simply, stop and imagine how much more fun and delight you can discover yourself having when you are feeling better more and more throughout each day. Wouldn’t it be amazing to discover that you have always had the ability to do this, but were just using it in the wrong direction? WOW that is good new!

Imagine aiming it in a positive, powerful, productive direction, for yourself, from now on.  Wouldn’t that be awesome?

It’s similar to this: All the past many years you have been driving yourself to a less than glorious house. You can do it in your sleep. You know all the ways to get there.

But now you have an incredible new mansion to live in. Driving doesn’t change, you already know how to do that, but the direction you take changes. It is not harder to actually drive, nothing changes here, it is just that you have to learn a new route. You have to remember the new way to go.

There may be sometimes when driving you suddenly find yourself en route to the old house. When you notice it, no reason to get pissed off, just stop, change direction and proceed toward the new house.

Whenever, you noticed you were going in the wrong direction celebrate and appreciate that you didn’t go further and that you noticed and were able to make the correction. Be glad. Soon you will be driving only the new route.

So imagine how great it is to be living in that beautiful new home. Celebrate and be glad. In time you will know all the ways to the new home too.

It really is just like this. Change the direction of your thinking, aim it at the positive. Focus on who and what you want to be, keep concentrating as often as possible while feeling good feelings and incredible discoveries abound.

I wonder how surprised you would be to discover, for yourself, how easily you can begin to implement these positive practices, now, to develop powerful new habits that allow you to feel greater freedom, unlimited joy and find more astounding opportunities than ever before? Wouldn’t that be nice?” Rex Sikes

More on this next time. What kind of outstanding day will you create for yourself today and tomorrow?

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What? Take the bull by the horns??? Me? Part 3

everyday u make a choice

So remember: We find the best thoughts and feelings we can and fill up each moment in our day. We seek to find the best we can discover and we deliberately choose to focus on these. This builds our ability to look for and to find great things. It builds our ability to make positive choices.

Since we deliberately do this it means we are taking charge each time we decide to and then follow through. We are putting ourselves in control. As we repeatedly do this we reinforce building a positive habit.

Just as we gain results by repeated physical exercise we gain results by mental exercise. Just as we are able to do more and gain more energy through physical conditioning we gain more energy and momentum through this mental conditioning. We are taking charge of our thinking process and building a powerful positive habit.

Another useful, powerful, yet simple way to stay focused on the positive is to seek to discover what is good and new in your moment to moment experience. What is good about your on going experience right now? What might you discover that is new, or that you had not previously considered?

You build this awareness and focus by asking yourself the question ‘What is good and new right now’.  Look to find the best answer you can find in the moment. Really ask yourself and look. Consider what is good about right now and what is new.  What IS good and new about me, the situation, others, this instant?  Anything you place your attention on positively counts. 

Ask this often and you will be surprised how many things you now notice you never paid attention to or that you took for granted. Celebrate and enjoy these discoveries. Our life is made  up of moments. When we enrich the moments we enrich our overall life.

Also I don’t let the news or talking heads or experts in media much room to influence me. The media seems determined to scare us, bring us down, inflate sad, bad, disappointing news and push us to buy or vote or invest not always in our own best interests. They have their own agenda and I don’t believe I am very important to them as anything other than a consumer. While I may watch or listen from time to time to keep  informed, I steer clear from buying into it.

Keep in mind that media works by repetition too. If they keep saying something loud, enough and long enough and if it scares you or riles you up voila’ they have exerted some control over you. I always think NOW is a good time to claim it back.

Recognize this: that they use to scare us what we use to scare us. They use the very same process, in their way to make bad that we use to make positive changes. It is the same process we us this is important to understand.

You don’t have to learn to do anything new. You don’t have to add in anything from the outside. You only have to learn how to use what you already are doing. This is an important point!

You only have to learn HOW to direct your thoughts and this is what you are learning to do. Isn’t that good and new?

You learn to make it a habit to control your thoughts instead of letting them control you. You only have to think for yourself instead of having someone else think for you.

Isn’t that liberating? You don’t need anything else. You only have to work with what you already have. You only have to do what you are already doing. You are only taking charge of the process so that it works for you the way you want it to. You become the master and your brain becomes the servant.

So I pay attention to what I think on the inside and I pay attention to what others may want me to think from the outside. I respect them and their opinion but I don’t have to adopt it or adhere to it as they do. That too is very freeing. We can listen if we must or if we wish, we can respect their opinion, and yet, we do not have to make it our own. We can allow them to think and feel and behave however they do, without having to accept it for ourselves. We decide for ourselves, not them.

Since is true that not everyone is out to separate me from my dollar or make me afraid I seek out the good sources to listen and learn from. I

I maintain this attitude with family, friends, colleagues and strangers. I can respect them and their opinion but I am free to think, feel and act differently. I think they are entitled to believe whatever they wish I just don’t have to buy into it.

I will respect them and not belittle them, I will allow them to think their thoughts. I do not have to convince them to change them but accept them as they are. Instead, I will work on myself, improve myself and I will shower them with love. I be grateful they are in my life and consider them perfect as they are.

But then, since someone could rain on my parade, I just don’t discuss much of what I am working on for myself. I tend to play it close to the vest without trying to appear secretive. I keep what I am working on secret so that I don’t get bombarded by their doubts and advice.

Even when they have the best intentions their energy about ‘my work on myself or my future’ can be a downer. If that is the case I let them be rather than make a point of arguing over my self work.

They don’t necessarily see things as I do nor do they care or wish to adopt my point of view.  They may not think what I want is possible. I believe that I don’t have to live with other people’s limitations in thinking about what may be possible. 

This is the way I keep the energy to myself and don’t dissipate it. Typically, we discuss our problems to weaken their hold on us, we talk them out to release the energy. In order to maintain the positive energy I don’t talk much about what I am doing. I reserve it for myself.

Still, I do appreciate wise counsel and do seek feedback as necessary. I always want to stay open and welcome input and make adjustments as necessary. Still I consider the source I seek it from important. I don’t want  a ‘yes’ person who never tells me I may be incorrect, but I also don’t want ‘energy vampires’ to zap my efforts either. I seek positive wise people for guidance.

Regarding the advice from experts: experts have historically been wrong about many things. Experts thought the world was flat and thought those who believed otherwise wrong. The experts believed the sun revolved around the earth, the experts believed we could never fly or climb Everest, or break a four minute mile. They have been incorrect about many things.

Experts have frequently said something couldn’t be accomplished and then someone went and accomplished it. At times experts are correct at other times they are not. I prefer to determine what is or is not possible for me. Again, I seek wisdom in this area.

I don’t care what my genetic makeup may, or what anyone tells me about heredity. People considered disabled or unable have proved themselves beyond capable countless times. They have proved the experts wrong. This occurs many times in medicine where a dire prognosis made is proven completely wrong.

People told they may never walk again have walked. People told they would die have survived and lived long and well because they refused to accept the bad news as the final authority.

Obviously, not everyone can or will for a variety of reasons but there are those who do. Some have overcome incredible odds,  It is important what we believe and determine what is possible for ourself. I’d rather try and fail while maintaining the best attitude than never try at all. A famous statement by Henry Ford is, “If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.’ It is important what we think.

Here is what I absolutely I know. I may attempt something and not make it as intended or in the time frame I hoped but I know once I quit the matter is sealed. If I never give up there is still hope. If I keep going I may need to adjust what I am doing to better my chances for a successful outcome, but in order to reach my destination I must keep at it. I can move forward everyday at least by inches if nothing else. I know if I never try nothing will change.

I know if I wait to begin I will wait and wait. I know once I begin, however difficult at first it seems, it gets easier. Sometime starting something is exciting and sometimes for some people it seems the most difficult. For me, I know once I jump in it is important to keep going by doing a little bit on my behalf each day. 

I keep in mind a phrase: “If it is to be IT is up to ME.” Another phrase I embrace is “Quitters never win and Winners never quit.”

I like mottos, and brief to the point quotes. It helps organize and keep me on target. I mentioned some today which I repeat frequently to myself.  I share them again:

You become what you think about.

Birds of a feather flock together.

If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.

If it is to be it is up to me.

Quitters never win and winners never quit.

Sometimes we  have to make things happen even in the face of all opposition. No one ever said self change was easy, but I have found it far easier than I thought it to be at one time. Though challenges continue to arise they have become easier to handle and I have gotten better at directing myself back to my personal best sooner, rather than later.

Everything I have been doing and discussing in these blogs has been working for me. It has made an incredible difference in my life. Which reminds me of another saying I keep in mind.

‘If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life’

Add it to the others and you have some powerful maxims to take with you and guide you each day.

Most importantly, if I am able to do any of this, if I am able to implement these ideas and practice these principles, YOU CAN.

So do for yourself the best you can today!  Once you do you will be delighted to discover how much farther you go as a result of simply beginning.

Step forward into a bright new future for yourself. Become the person you always wanted and knew you could be. Do what you love and enjoy and make your life the life worth having. You can do this, you can begin right now” Rex Sikes

Have an incredible blessed day!

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Can We Change The World? Maybe, We Should Think So

being positive means


“I read an recent post/article on FB, just now, about how people think the government is on the wrong track. I am at that point where I think that is true if we believe it is.

Let’s pretend for a moment that our thinking makes it so, or if nothing else, our thinking filters what we actually pay attention to, see and believe.

If we think we are on the wrong track we most likely are. Our thinking makes it so.

Maybe our thinking makes it so and we are on the wrong track primarily because we do not think differently. Maybe our thoughts actually influence the outcome. Our thoughts determine our actions we take or lack of action and the results we get.

It is easy to blame  because it means we do nothing and it is not our responsibility. We shift it to others and then whine about it. Seems to me most people who think negative about things stop there and don’t come up with solutions. They are problem focused not solution focused.

If instead, we thought about how to be on the right track we might make progress.

Seems to me we should seek to inspire, motivate, aspire to greater good and greater things, we should embrace higher principles and promote well being for all. Maybe if we promoted what is right more than we promote what is wrong, we would find more right about ourselves, our country and the world.

Typically what we have, what and how we think is what is wrong, what is a problem. Then we declare War. We are always declaring war on things we wish we different.

We think war on drugs, war on crime, war on poverty and as such.  So much so that most of what we have going on is war. War is an ugly metaphor too. We need to combat, kill and reign victorious our problems. I am all for being a victor instead of a victim and I think it is possible to progress without war, and the metaphor of war.

Maybe instead of declaring war on everything we should become focused on prosperity for all, increasing prosperity, healthy living, improving education, improving the political system, increasing safety in the streets and cities, peace and friendship.

We don’t cure poverty by blaming or thinking about lack. We create prosperity by focusing on prosperity. Success brings success we already know this. Once successful it is easier to be successful. Let’s focus on getting and being successful when it comes to correcting issues.

We don’t solve international problems by always dropping bombs we can do it through friendship, negotiation and peace. If we only go after our interests without helping others get theirs it is no wonder we have difficulties. Everyone is in it for themselves so in order to get along you have to be willing to add value to the other person and work toward a win/win.

I know there will be naysayers to these concepts. There will those who think I am talking pie in the sky but stop, think and consider for a moment, that if  most people think it isn’t currently working well, then what we have been doing ISN’T working.

If we ARE on the wrong track, it means most or everything we have been doing for decades has brought us to where we are now. What we have been doing clearly isn’t working.

So if it isn’t working and we truly want a change for the better (though we must consider that maybe people don’t want it to be improved, maybe there is profit in these problems) then we must change what we are doing for the better.

We are all on the wrong track if we only see the down side and focus on it. Negativity thinking never makes us positive. Focus on the problem and what is wrong brings us more of the same. We need to focus on solution and what is right.

Focusing on what is wrong is easy to do, it is a no brainer and takes no energy so that is probably why that is the case. It is the path of least resistance.

Consider this, when you car breaks down, say the water pump goes out. That is a problem that needs fixing. It’s what you mention at the water cool, or over dinner to family and friends. ‘Damn water pump went out’.

What are you probably not paying attention to or telling your family and friends?

You probably aren’t focused on 99.9% of the rest of the car that is working fine. What looms in the mind is the one thing that is out of sorts. When these thoughts take precedence we limit ourselves and our energy. Yes, the pump needs fixing AND the rest of the car works great. Focus on what works great while fixing the water pump. Attitude does make a big difference.

If we want to have 71% approval rating we need to focus on what is right, what works and what can be done in positive ways to keep us on the right track. We never get uphill thinking downhill thoughts.

I think it is time for a change. How? One by one. We get our own house in order first. We improve our thinking, our attitude, our actions and we keep the faith that others will sometime, or in time too. We imagine a world that is better, where people act together more in harmony with a positive focus. We see a peaceful planet where people enjoy getting along. We see a planet of plenty and people all well provided for.

If we cannot conceive of something better we will never have anything better. In order for change to occur we must first be able to visualize the change we want. If you want a better world, positive change that is what we need to imagine, embrace and stay focused on. We already have let it get to out of hand. We have been lax in our responsibility to make it the world we want it to be. We have allowed it or others to determine what is going on. I think it is time to begin to take it back.

If you want a better world imagine paradise. Be grand in your thinking. Aim toward the stars as someone said, if you only hit the moon you are still farther than you would have been.

Embrace the possible. If we can conceive it and believe it we can achieve it. One by one, drop by drop fills the tub. Have faith, aim high. Gradually we will be better off than if we give up and think the world sucks. So what would you prefer? What can you do?

Can you imagine a better world? Can you imagine a better you? Can you imagine a better you in a better future world? Can you begin today?” Rex SIkes

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What? Take the bull by the horns??? Me? Part 2


if we did all we are capable of edison

I repeat: One of the best ways for beginning to choose better positive thoughts is to re-read these blog posts over and over. Read inspirational material at least a page a day everyday! Find positive affirmations to keep in mind. This is important as perviously mentioned. What you put into your mind is returned to you.

Deliberately think the best positive thoughts repeatedly. We infuse them with positive emotions. This is critical. It is not the mere repetition of a platitude that makes the difference. Saying or thinking something over and over does little. It is thinking and saying it while emotionally charged.

The reason people seem to have troubles is their fears are already emotionally charged. Sad thoughts are too. We get what we think about because what we think about is laced with the energy of the feelings. Words don’t impress the brain but images and feelings do.

Our brain works by releasing chemicals and hormones depending on what is occurring in us and to us. In fight or flight adrenaline is pumped into the system to be able to respond appropriately. The reaction is hardwired, outside of our conscious ability to choose, the body reacts but our response we may choose to fight or flee.

Later, as we remember the situation our body reacts, perhaps not with as large as reaction as the first triggering event but those memories invoke and respond to the chemicals and hormones that are triggered in re-living the event. We get back a portion or all of the experience. That is why some have crippling fear and why some others do not.

Our feelings become ‘anchored’ to the rest of the experience. A sight or sound, internal or external to us may trigger the memory or association and it all comes flooding back, feelings and all. The experience may link up and or be associated with other like experiences from one’s past.

It may not be long before the human makes a generalization or a rule from these associations, “I am afraid of…” or ” I can’t do or go …’ or ‘I am not the kind of person who…’ or whatever it may be in a limiting fashion. The person then may  form a  belief about who they are  or what they are capable of, or the world, or all three. From this belief and other similar beliefs, associations, memories and feelings they move in the world with however much or little freedom and comfort they are able to experience. These beliefs and attitudes together form what has been called ‘geshtalt’ or ‘paradigms’.

It is concluded that we don’t act much on any real information but from our paradigms and filters.

I have severely condensed this here but will be returning to it again in blog posts. I provide just enough basic information so one can understand that there is a large emotional component to making changes. Whether these occurred for us in life through experiences we consider negative or positive we are not shaped by words but by our feelings.

To make positive changes, to update our paradigms so they serve us instead of we serving them we utilize the best feelings we can find. We find the best, and we keep feeling the best as often as we are able.

If something comes along to upset us, as soon as we become aware of the opportunity we focus on things that make us feel better when we hold them in our mind. We consciously return to the best feelings as soon as possible.

Why? Because we want to train ourselves and make it a habit to find the best as soon as possible. We perform better, think better and enjoy life more when we are in more optimum states (this should not have to be stated, as I think it is obvious, but it may not be clear yet, and so I point it out repeatedly).

From the best place inside ourselves, the best thoughts and feelings come the best actions for ourselves and for others. So we charge our positive thoughts, our affirmations, our Directed Questions with the best possible feelings and this is what impresses on the ‘servo-mechanism’ what to do, what you want. You want more better thoughts and feelings. When you repeat this over and over you are telling ‘yourself’ give me more of this please. You are developing the habit and as you continue and persist, never stop, you are becoming what you think and feel, you are evolving yourself so it becomes easier and more reliable. It begins to become the positive habit you want. You are updating the paradigms and getting new results.

SO: We find the best feelings we can during the day moment to moment. A good guide is to ask yourself, ‘How am I feeling right now?’If it isn’t as good as you want put your attention on those thoughts or those elements in your life that make you feel good when you think about them. Find things to be grateful and excited about.

We hold the image of who want to be in our mind with these good feelings steadily in order to transform ourselves. We visit these thoughts and feelings as much as possible during our waking hours. We make it a ‘must have’ a burning desire something so important we must become it. That is the process and then we keep doing it and we do not quit. It is simple enough.

‘If you can hold it in your head you can hold it in your hand’,  the saying goes.

We see it, and imagine it fully in our minds and feel our best feeling as we do and all along the day and we being to transform ourself and our life into what we are imagining. In order to be it, behave it, do it or have it we must first conceive it and then keep on thinking it. We fill our brain and mind with this positive energy and we ultimately become it.

I seek self evolution prior to getting things. If I want to have a lot of things then I first think of myself as a person worthy of them and able to get them. I think of myself as a loving, kind, father or a successful, skilled, dedicated filmmaker (or whatever), I think of myself as one who can make things happen, a ‘Can do it’ person, an attractor or magnet or creator. From this being I make things happen and attract good things and people.

Who I am determines what I do which determines how far I am able to reach and what I am able to get, or have or include in my life. If I am a positive person my energy is dedicated to thinking and feeling and doing positive things so that I create, attract or make happen positive things in my life. I include finding or making happen situations, events and finding positive people to associate with.

The formula for creation is to be, do and then you have. Be, do, have.

I recognize for me that attitude precedes everything. Thought always precedes deliberate action so as we think the thoughts repeatedly we can become what we want. I believe we already are the product of our thinking so if I want positive changes to occur in my life, from this point on I need to change my thinking to be more positive.

I keep in mind to important principles ‘We become what we think about’ and ‘Birds of a feather flock together’. to guide me each day.

I believe that I should do whatever positive good it takes to become what I want without depriving anyone else. There actually is plenty to go around for everyone. I wish everyone well and celebrate them. I imagine great things happening for all and I am grateful for everyone in my life. I think how would I want others to think about me and what would I want them to wish for me. I would prefer they celebrate and wish me the best so I decided I ought to do it first. It goes back to ‘We become what we think about’ so I practice the Golden Rule.

So mere repetition of thoughts is not enough. Charge them with positive emotions. Determine to fill your day with finding the best moments to savor, the best memories to recall, the best feeling you can find. People, opportunities, places, things, activities to be grateful about put your attention on these. Determine that you will make it the best day possible by what you chose to focus on and create and experience. Take control of what you consider. If you find yourself off base return – get back on track without a lot of drama. Celebrate that you are returning to positive thoughts and feelings.

Remember the biblical saying “This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it’. Yes, you do that. Make it that kind of day. Determine to make each and every day that kind of day. Look for reasons to smile instead of frown and you will find more of them.

Life can be so incredible. Wouldn’t you like to be amazed to discover how easily you are able to transform yourself and your life into something so wonderful, you can’t even begin to imagine it fully, yet? Wouldn’t that be awesome and delightful? Hmmmmmm” Rex Sikes

More tomorrow, we continue. I wish for you to discover many delicious moments for yourself though out today .

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