Category Archives: Neuro Linguistic Programming

Don’t Blow Your Top! Do This Instead!

the choice to have a great attitude

“If you have ever felt like you were going to blow your top and you don’t want to you can do this to calm down. Getting angry or getting angrier may not be what is most needed in the moment and you want to be able to be productive and not lose control. How do you get a grip?

When unwanted feelings arise you need to shift into neutral, create a break state, a pause and then shift direction. It is too difficult sometimes to just change. You can steer it as in Aikido. You use the energy offered and direct it elsewhere. That is what we are doing.

You Can Easily Make Changes When You  Know How

Head on is too difficult. I have discussed why in previous blog posts. When the momentum is great it is hard to just stop it. You will need to do something first if you haven’t stopped it at the onset. That something you need to add in is the neutral, break state.

A neutral space makes making changes easier because you create a pause when you are being flooded with feelings. The key is to catch the emotional flooding right at the beginning.

This is  important. So whenever practice becoming aware at that very moment. Still, this is so powerful you can use it anytime too.

This blog is continued from previous blogs. If you have not yet read those or done the exercises please go read those first. Spend some time developing your skills through mental rehearsal and then return to this one.

Use mental rehearsal to learn what to do when unwanted feelings arise. For example, when you drive a car you know there is a neutral position on your gear shift. In essence, you always go through neutral when you shift gears and change direction.

This exercise will have you create an important neutral space from which you can more easily and readily change. You can use it any time, anywhere, whenever you feel stressed or want to change feelings or thought direction in your mind.

Rehearse And Practice The Skill To Acquire The Skill 

It is powerful and can be instantaneous. There may be times when you want to repeat it. It is simple and easy and all you have to do is remember to use it.

That is why we mentally rehearse. You travel in advance of the world so as things come up when you want to use it you will. This is the reason actors, musicians and others rehearse and athletic teams practice.

One of the most powerful tools to use when you need to change your emotional reactions so you can respond more wisely and productively is only a breath away. It is literally taking a deep breath.

A deep breath shifts so many things in your being. It changes the energy moving in your body. If you let out a sigh while breathing it is all the better. That sigh of relief, the sound accompanying  the breath, enhances relaxation.

When things are getting hot and you find yourself moving in a direction you do want engage the following.

First learn it and practice it. Then use it when every you need to. Do it in everyday life as soon as possible. It will help greatly.

You Want To Create A Space, A Pause – Take A Break

Go back to another difficult time. Mild. See the events unfold. The usual sequence of events that lead up to that point where you would have gotten angry, frustrated, fearful, worried, sad, confused, overwhelmed whatever it may be.

Watch it in your mind in your mental movie theater and when you get to that point where you would lose it STOP and watch yourself take a deep breath! Then another.

Watch yourself create space by stopping and taking a deep breath. Watch yourself shift your physiology. Shift your body, alter how you stand and move. Breathe and shift. Walk it off! Take a break from your problem.

Take a pause when things start to get critical. Everything is moving along and then suddenly you are going in a direction you don’t want. STOP, take a deep breath, shift your body, walk or do something different AND CHOOSE A POSITIVE RESOURCE.

Go through this process just as described and you watch yourself get to the point where you, would have in the past behaved in less than glorious ways only this time, see yourself stop, take a deep breath, shift your physiology and behave in the new resourceful way. From start to finish. Do you like what you see?

Adjust It As Necessary

Stop and take a deep breath and add in the new resource. Realize you have new choices available to you. You you can  walk it off right where you are. Manage you self talk. Say positive things.  Now you can respond with positive choices. Watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit).

Once you have recoded one experience from your past then pick at least 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Shake it off after each repetition of the exercise. Let’s say you do one situation 3x you shake off after each time. Then you pick another time and do it 3x with shake 3x and then the last 3x 3x.

Remember to use the shake to change your physiology and end the process. Then take a moment and go back do it again.

Seeing And Hearing And Feeling On The Inside (POV)

Use the other way of seeing and experiencing.

Rerun the process from your POV. Go back and imagine it from this vantage point. From within you can feel the feelings change as you go from the beginning to the critical moment.

Just before that less than glorious eruption you say stop (inside your head) and you feel yourself take a deep breath (and another). You sigh as you let the air out.

Feel the pause or a break in the action, create space, walk it off, manage your positive self talk  and choose the resource you have been using for this.

See it, hear it, feel it! Notice how it is different. Feel the changes. Celebrate it and Live it. Then realize that is how it can be in the future. Do it again and again until you feel great about it

Then pick 3 more times when you have similar response. Change those in your mind. Remember, to shake it off after each time.

Maybe once is all you need but since we become what we think about repeat this exercise again and again. Do it daily. Remember you are learning a sequence of behaviors. You are taking charge of your mental behaviors and learning a process.

Take time to go into your past and find resources. Build your library of resources. Go  into your past difficulties and change them from being a limitation into a resource. Recode the past by applying a resource where and when it was needed. You are transforming and recoding past memories.

Do you realize this about the situation you changed? That was how it was in the past. It could have been different in the past. It wasn’t you did whatever you did  back then and that is okay. That was then and you did your best with what you knew.

It could have been a more resourceful time for you but it wasn’t. Accept it. BUT now you have just recoded it as more resourceful. You have imagined what it would have been like to have had that resource and how things could have been different.

SO stop now and  realize you can be more resourceful in the present and the future too. You have more resources you can use when you need to.

Create The Future The Way You Want It To Be

You also are a creator. You can create. You know there may be some situations in the future that could give you difficulty because they may have in the past. These are those situations that seem to happen again and again ever so often. To begin practice pick a mild one of these. Always start with mild. Now let’s recode the future too!

Imagine, in your mental movie theater that future you. Repeat the process watching it unfold up until the point where you stop, take a deep breath and change it from being a difficulty into a resourceful moment. You repeat this exercise as the previous one  doing it from start to finish and shaking it off.  Repeat 3x or more. Shake it off after each time.  Then repeat the process  from your POV.

Do this whenever you need to get some space between you and whatever is going on. Perhaps, some driver pisses you off, change it. Take a deep breath, relax slow down, enjoy the drive. Practice this it could be really important some day.

A boss or co-worker is on your back, take a deep breath, sigh and change the energy. Take a break, go to the restroom, calm down and return. Trouble with a family member or loved one. Don’t lose your cool take a breath. Anytime and anywhere this can save the moment Use it.

Re- Cap

This process allows you to recode the past and prepare for the future. During both you search for and apply resources. During both you stop, create a break state or a pause, you use your physiology differently, and you continue forward having chosen a resource.

You are always welcome to add in more than one resource. One is usually plenty, but sometimes adding in two or three presents us with even more awareness and opportunity. So feel free to repeat the exercise (just as described) only with a new and different resource each time.

You may also magnify those feeling 2, or 3 or even 5 times in intensity. It is your mind and you can ramp it up. You already know how to make things more intense in real life. We have volume controls and dials.

You turn it up or press a button. You can do the same thing within your mental movie theater. Re-live it from your point of view  and enhance and amplify the wonderful feelings! You know when you have had some energy and when you have been super charged. Pick the more intense examples to use.

Use It And Transform Your LIfe

In the real world you will behave and act more productively as this a becomes habit. Take the time to practice and make it automatic. In the coming days if you have an episode and you respond in the new way, positively, fantastic!

If you don’t and you loose control, no worries!  Everyone of us can slip and fall now and then. Pat yourself on the back for becoming aware. Recognize what happened, what you might have done differently, and immediately do the mental exercise for how you’d like to be next time.

Get feedback from the situation, learn from it and continue your practice. What is awesome about the human mind is that you might start off spending 20 or 30 minutes a day, practicing for a month or more to make it a habit.

During this time frame you may be using it too. I hope so! Eventually, you will be do it in less time inside your head. Then even less time. Before long you will run the process in seconds in real life whenever you need to.

Regarding learning and practicing new skills. A flower it takes time to grow. So does a new skill. Stick with it. As you resolve these situations pick other people or situations where you don’t respond as you would like to and work on those too.

Use It Or Lose It

Soon you will have re-coded and re-routed lots of difficult situations. You will have used your mind to change your behaviors. You have taken charge so enjoy it! Celebrate it and validate it.

Any time you fall, get back up, learn from it and do the new behavior in your mind a more productive way. Recognize what you don’t want but stop focusing on it. Drop it and focus on what you do want instead. Remember, we get what we think about most!

Don’t wallow about  the old address. You have moved to a new location. Aim your mind in the direction of the new one.

It’s simple to understand, You practice and rehearse what you want for the future. You use your mind the way an actor or athletic team uses rehearsal or practice time. In your mind you act as if you have all the resources you need in any situation. You imagine and act how you want to be.

Our mind doesn’t know the difference between a mental images and images seen through our eyes. That is why this works. We can create a new self image and practice new behaviors. The more you rehearse and practice the better you get.  The better you get with it the more you get it in your real life

Use these processes to overcome your difficulties, and learn new ways to be. You can and will transform your life positively if you want to.

What you rehearse, fill your mind with, think about and focus on for most of your time expands. You get and become what you think about. Use your mental movie theater to bring you all sorts of wonderfulness now and in the future! Enjoy making your life more the way you want it to be.  Be grateful and be glad! More to come!” Rex Sikes

Use today to live a new way!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others

Use This Powerful Way To Keep From Losing It

movie-theatre

“Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to change a moment of difficulty into a less difficult moment? If you could take a stressful situation and de-stress it would you like to be able to do that? There are ways to alter what is happening so that the outcome you get is positive instead of negative.

In this follow up blog post I’ll share with you a method. If you haven’t read the previous blog post go back and read that first. IF YOU HAVEN’T practiced what I shared with you last time spend some time doing that prior to adding in these steps. You want to build a house on a strong foundation so that it stands.

You want to build your abilities the same way. Before, anything else get used to looking for positive past experiences and re-living them. Hopefully, you have started building a library of positive resources. You have also practiced creating the future by imagining that resourceful you in times when you want to be more resourceful.

If you are a regular reader of my blog you know only a day has gone by.  Keep in mind there is no rush. Practice the first part until you are facile with it. Then you can add this in. This information you read now can wait while you gain experience in the other first, but you will know the direction we are headed.

As I mentioned in the previous blog, read through this a number of times to familiarize yourself with the process. Once you get the idea of it  you can do it while reading through it, or better, as I suggested you can record parts of the process and play them back slowly while you go though it. You will lead yourself through it so be sure to give yourself enough time to do everything thoroughly if you record it.

Build Skills Bit By Bit. Only Move From One Skill On After Getting Good At It

Practice what I share with you in this blog. You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding even more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Continue to make the positive changes utilizing your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn more? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

AT FIRST, pick a mild situation to begin. You can get to the tougher ones later. Start with easier ones while you learn the to go through this process. I mean this! Work your way up from easiest to the toughest in time. Over a period of days or weeks. Get good at the process before trying it on tougher times. Crawl before you walk!

Pick A Mild Situation To Begin With

There are times when you are simply less than glorious. Sometimes you aren’t thinking positively, you’re feeling down or upset, just not optimal.

Choose one to work with. Just one experience at a time. Be specific. Think, ‘I have difficulty when…’  and pick one. It may be in a particular situation, or with a particular person or there is some activity that gives you difficulty.

Find a time and or place where you could use a resource. Said differently, find a time in real life when you could use thinking and behaving more resourcefully.

There are moments in life when things can go any which way but instead of going how we want them to go they end up less than glorious. We loose our cool, we get frustrated or angry, we give in or give up, we cry, we shout, we say things we didn’t mean.

Instead of keeping our cool and being calm or confident we get stressed, harried, fearful or worried.

You most probably have had moments like that in the past. Pick a specific one. Chose a milder one to begin with, remember. Choose an easy one! I mean this! Crawl before you walk! Keep this in mind.

Then go back to my statement above, determine how you’d like to be and feel and behave in this situation instead of how you did in the situation. Consider what would be a more productive, positive way to behave instead of how you used to behave.

Any Resource Is Better Than No Resource

You can pick a specific resource for the situation because you think it would be better. For example, you weren’t confident and you wished you had confidence. That can make it better, yes.

That could be a good resource to have in that situation. Perhaps. A sense of humor might be a good resource to have as well.  Perhaps, having the ability to laugh or be silly at that moment would have made it better. Anything is possible. Any resources can transform.

Maybe being patience, or happy or calm or curious would have been better. Curiosity, can be a great resource! The point is there is the resource we THINK would make it better when, in fact, almost any resource would have made it better. This is what is so cool!

It would not have been the difficulty it was and you would have gotten a different outcome if you’d had any number of resources available. Do you get that? There are numerous possibilities! The only limitations we have are the ones we allow. We are really only limited by what we can’t yet consider an asset or opportunity.

Had you moved into ANY other positive state than the less than glorious one you ended up with, it would led to a different outcome. Right? You understand that, don’t you?  If not think about it a bit. However the situation played out, any positive resource would have made it different and somewhat better. Maybe completely better!

If it is somewhat better, that is better! So any positive new resource is better than no resource. It is NOT a matter of trying to find the ultimate, perfect resource it is a matter of choosing any resource that will lead you to a more productive outcome and get you more positive results. Do you understand this? Again, if not think about it.

Find A Positive Resource 

Be free with your thinking in choosing new opportunities. Don’t be rigid, be relaxed. Open yourself up to infinite possibilities. You are still only going to choose one, or in time, a few, but you have a wide variety to choose from that will make a difference for you. At first, choose ONE to work with.

Learn and practice being more resourceful in a variety of ways. There isn’t a perfect way. There is not only one way. There are a variety of positive possibilities and you can learn and benefit from. Any one of them can lead to more glorious possibilities.

If you want to feel better you want to get feedback on how you can continue to transform your experiences for your benefit. So stay open minded and be willing to playfully explore.

Keep Light And Have Fun With This

Take it slowly and have fun. Be gentle and have fun. Be deliberate and thorough and have fun. Choose mild difficulties at first and have fun. Later move on to more difficult situations and have fun.

When you have learned and practiced and gotten good with the process you move onto larger issues in time. You still have fun because that is what you build into the process. Take it lightly even when dealing with more difficult issues.

There are those times that present us with difficulty. We didn’t behave as we knew we could, or wished we would. We want to take those less than glorious moments and transform them by adding in resources we didn’t utilize or were aware we had at the time.

We want to re-code our memories of the past to be more resourceful so we can choose to use them as resources in the present and  future. That is why we spend time building and continuing to build our library of resourcefulness.

A Most Important Benefit Is You Become What You Think About

The reason why I want you to go and find all your positive times and relive those and catalog those and have experience recreating those is for you to have them available as choices whenever you may need to.

If you spend a large portion of your time devoted to finding resources and living them and creating them it makes you more resourceful. Your life will change for the better.

Utilize Any Of These Resources When Times Get Tough

A second benefit is you can utilize any of these resources more readily when times get rough if you have wired them in and made them automatic and available. What you think about you become. When you become more resourceful you can handle future difficult times better. Do you get how this works? It builds on itself.

There are times when everything goes your way. Maybe you feel on top of the world, or extra joyful. These are resources!

You got some news and you feel very happy. There are times when you simply feel fine, but more than fine. Super fine. YOU feel GOOD but not like a superhero. There are times when you feel confident, capable, certain you can do anything. Other times you feel silly or you have a sense of humor.

Still, at other times you feel relaxed, calm, peaceful or at ease. Sometimes you are concentrated and focused, sometimes playful. At times you are focused on your needs at other times you are attentive and helpful to others. All these constitute useful resources.

Re-live It: Feel Now What You Felt Then

Go back inside your mental movie theater and re-live some of these one at a time. Notice  what you saw at the time, what you heard and felt that made you feel that way.

Get a sense of it as much as possible ! You can even imagine feeling it at 2, or 3 or even 5 times the intensity. You can ramp it up. Re-live it from your point of view.

Build them one by one by revisiting these memories again and again.

Watch It: Feel How Good It Feels To Be This Way (Selfie)

Imagine the other way too. See yourself in the situation (selfie) looking the way you do when you are resourceful in this fashion. How do you look, how do you use your body and move.  What does your voice sound like. You can see that you (in the movie) feels great.

Feel how incredible you would feel to be this way. If everything for your future you was going right, and you were everything you wanted to be, doing what you wanted to be doing and having what you wanted to have. How would you feel? Feel that!

Enjoy these. Do this each day. Build a library of incredible feelings, talents, abilities, and resources. Let’s call them resources states.

Practice each day. Realize that whenever you remember these positive times you can feel the wonderful feelings again and again even stronger if you’d like. Strong or not isn’t the point. The point is taking time to live and feel these resources.

You Can Access or Build Past, Present And Future Resources

In order to change your response in the future you want to have one or more of these resources available when you need it. You are going to use your mental movie theater to imagine when and where and with whom you may need one or more of them.

Pay attention to what and how you behave and feel differently when you add the new resources in. First we will change the past.

Go to your mental movie theater and take up a comfortable seat. Watch this experience on your movie screen in your mind.

You are sitting in a movie theater and the screen is over there. The movie begins and you watch yourself go through the experience over there UP UNTIL the point, but not beyond, when it became a difficult situation.

You Are The Director And Editor Of Your Inner Movies

You chose a mild one because you want to be able to STOP IT from being a difficulty. You want to change the difficult moment so it no longer affects you. You want to be free so you want to stop it easily from being  an issue. You are going to work as a movie editor.

Watch yourself over there on your mental movie screen in a situation leading to a less than glorious outcome. One you actually experienced in your real life past. Watch it up to, but not beyond, when it started going awry. STOP IT prior to when you behaved as you DO NOT WANT to. As it approaches slow it down and stop it.

Cut the film right there! Edit! You snip away the less than glorious reactions you had. As an editor you would throw them in a bin on the computer or let them drop on the cutting room floor. Then insert the new resourceful behavior. Paste it in at the precise point.

Paste it in so that from the critical point on you now watch yourself behaving in the situation the way you WANT TO behave. Watch the movie continue. Look at yourself, listen and notice how you feel differently.

Now you run it again from start to finish making sure you behave as you want to until the end. It begins, you watch.  Watch the situation begin to turn sour but instead of succumbing to what was used to be YOU NOW think, feel and behave in the new positive way? Watch it again and again over and over. Re-live it and love it!

Notice how you look, what you sound like, what and how you say things to yourself in your head, under your breath or out loud. Notice how you move. Imagine it with as much detail as possible.

Adjust As Necessary

Do you like what you see? Do you like how you feel watching this new you? If it isn’t as good as you’d like it improve it. Add in another resource. Change it in positive direction until it is too your liking. Keep it realistic as you do. Intensify the positive feelings.

Adjust it. You want to behave more positively in the future make your inner mental movie a compelling example of you behaving that way. Tweak it. See how wonderful you look. Notice how you positively interact. Listen to the kind things you say to yourself (or others).

When it is how you like it – spend time reviewing it this way. Notice how it is different and more positive. Then realize that is how it can be in the future.

Whenever you watch your inner movie in this way you want to end it completely before you do it over again. So watch it to the end and then when it finishes shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) or get up, move around, do a jumping jack. Anything that creates a shift.

Go inside and change a few other mildly difficult times this way. Pick 3, 6, 10 however many you wish. Practice recoding them. Review them with the new behaviors and how do you feel? Are you moving in the direction you want to move in? Is feeling good? Feeling great?

You are building and practicing a skill. If you keep at it you will build the habit of looking for resources whenever you encounter the trigger points in less than glorious situations. This is an incredible skill to have. So you want to practice a lot. Don’t believe me build it for yourself!

There is more to this process and we will add on to it. It gives you another powerful alternative way to accomplish the same end. It is a useful approach for you to learn. Practice and practice. You will be amazed at how easily you can make changes. More Next Time!” Rex Sikes

Have a majestic day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others

How To Keep Yourself From Losing It & Have A Happier Life

Quotation-Napoleon-Hill-mind-influence-responsibility-positive-Meetville-Quotes-92860

“Do you have any of those moments when you know you are about to lose it? You may blow your top or crumple in a heap of tears. Are there times when you realize you are worrying unnecessarily but haven’t been able to control it? Perhaps, you are stressed and overwhelmed or you got hooked into an argument and you would rather be free?

If yes, to any of these unwanted feelings, or other ones you may experience from time to time, there IS something you can do to make it different. You can make it better and even prevent it. Wouldn’t you like to know what you can do?

You can learn to be different if you will practice what I share with you in this blog.

You can do it easily in the privacy of your own home. In a short while you will notice yourself responding more productively and positively and your life changing for the better.

Sometimes, the best way to learn new methods is in seminars or workshops, or one on one, with a coach or a guide where you can practice the process in advance of needing it. Working together with someone is real hands on. That is always well worth it. By having a qualified person assist you – you can learn nuances and pay attention to elements you might otherwise miss. A great coach is great to have!

In lieu of getting training you can still make the positive changes on your own inside your Inner Mental Movie Theater. Are you ready and eager to learn how? I’m going to give you some today and then more in subsequent blogs.

Today Is The Beginning Of A Process I Share With You

Once you have all the process you may want to record it so you can follow along. Today, smart phones can come in handy this way. Read through these instructions a couple of times at least. There will be more information to record another day.

Familiarize yourself with the process. Then actually do what is being asked of you. If you only read about it and do not apply it you will not experience the benefit from it. If you don’t attempt it you will never know how powerful it can be. You have to do the work to get the results you want.

First: Determine How You’d Like To Be And Feel And Behave (Respond) In Difficult Or Less Than Glorious Situations

What do you want to be like instead of doing what you do? You might want to be confident, strong, fearless, happy, loving, silly, playful, energetic, caring, calm, relaxed, thoughtful, patient, anything that is positive for you.

There are times in your past when you have felt good this way. You can recall them, remember them in your mind, and remember the feelings. For example, when you felt happy about something. Notice the feelings, where did you feel them the strongest? Aren’t they wonderful? You feel happy!

Enjoy the feelings of when you feel happy! What are you thinking? What are you saying to yourself when you are happy? How do you think about yourself in that moment? Isn’t it wonderful to feel good? How does the world look when you are happy? Maybe a bit brighter? Notice whatever you notice when feeling happy. Linger with it. Savor it. Enjoy feeling happy.

Really take time to relive the happy part of the experience. Notice and enjoy the sights, the sounds, the feelings (even taste or smells if there are any) while feeling this resourcefulness. End it or cut it off while still feeling happy. Don’t let it fizzle out.

You want your primary attention and time spent feeling the good feelings, and letting or making the good feelings intensifying during the memory. If they start to fade or diminsh cut it off, stop it, shake it off (literally shake yourself a bit) and end it. Take a few breaths and do it again. Learn to create poignant positive moments for yourself. Bookended!

It is:  Feel happy, It increases, And out!

If you were to imagine a bell curve close to the top of the bell say at 9 or 10 o’clock position would be the entry point. You feel happy. It increases or intensifies upward towards 12. Then it starts down the other side of the bell curve. Do you get it? You come in feeling happy, intensify it and exit,

Stop before it starts the downslide. This is how you teach your brain to give you what you want. You want to feel good and feel it increase.  Linger in the good feelings and when the feelings  begin to diminish exit. Wash, rinse repeat! Do it again!

Develop The Knack Of Re-living And Creating The Precise Moments You Want More Of

What is so amazing is you can use your mind to travel back to times, and places, and events and with people, or engaged in activities when and where you felt these positive feeling states. You can recall and re-live them all while sitting in your chair!

Just as when you are out somewhere and something triggers or jogs a memory in you and you enjoy revisiting it. You can deliberately do it. You summon it up. You go back and recall.

Think about, recall a time when or remember a specific place you felt happy. Maybe some activity you do makes you happy or a special person? Fox example, pick a specific instance of being with a person who you were happy with? What were you doing that made you feel happy? It could be anything, such as a sport, a conversation, seeing something happen, getting good news, being at a party. How the person looks at, speaks to or touches you. Anything!

People, Places, Activities, Time, or Things 

To help you remember you can think of people, places, activities, things, or a time when you felt these feelings. For example, think of some activity that makes you feel good. Consider,  what were you doing, who were you with, where were you?

Ask whatever questions you need to in order to recall more details from the positive memory. These questions can help make it more vivid. Ask, who, what, when, where, why and how did any of these make you feel?

Once you make this a habit you won’t have to consciously work so much. It will all come quite naturally. Search through your experiences and find them. Maybe you felt happy on a vacation. That particular place brings back happy memories. Or at home.

Any particular place, a quiet power spot no one knows about but you. Young or old. Memories from the past can be yesterday or go way, way back.

For some the smell of fresh baked bread will take them instantly to another comforting place and time. For others the smell of fresh cut grass does the same. Some people feel patriotic when they see symbols of their country. Music makes us feel many things, relaxed, loved, horny, powerful, heartbroken…

You Can And You Should Go And Find All The Wonderful Positive Memories From Your Past

You can find them. You will as you keep searching. Some are pretty available. This is an important part of self discovery and evolution.It is important to find and focus on the positive in our life more often because we become what we think about. It gives us much more to feel grateful about and celebrate.

What we think about we bring about. Birds of a feather flock together so we find that we get back more and more of what we are thinking about. Think positive!

What you are learning in this, of great importance, is that instead of remembering and reliving past disappointments and being a victim of them, or remembering past positive times with longing we can do something about it.

We don’t have to live with the hurt and the longing we can live positively happily and powerfully. We can fill our mind and being with the positive feelings, and images, and sounds of our positive experiences.

Imagine How Much More Wonderful Life Would Be If You Enjoyed More Positive moments overall.

Now you can. You can go back into your past and begin to unlock all the positive moments there are to relive and enjoy. These moments, these wonderful feelings constitute resources you can begin to use in the present and the future. You can literally transform your experience at any time.

Second: You Don’t Have To Go Back. You Can Imagine Yourself In The Future Behaving As You Want To Behave. 

The ideal you! The person who has it all together. Imagine what you would look like and sound like if everything worked out well for you. You think positive, you feel awesome, and life is grand. As you imagine that notice how this makes you feel. Feel it! Enjoy the feelings!

You can pick any one of the states. Confidence, for example. Notice how you look. The look on you face. Your eyes, your smile your confident expression. Notice how you stand, move, walk and use you body to express being confident. See how you gesture while you speak confidently and with authority.

You are confident, you are self assured, certain, powerful and positive. Watch yourself, as if on a movie screen, and notice how you feel as you enjoy yourself behaving this way. Make it absolutely wonderful. Adjust it.

Make it wonderful this is you creating it. Just as an artist paints on a canvas paint a powerful mental image of you being confident (or whichever resource). It’s you mental movie make it exactly what you want it to be. Make it outstanding! After all, this is using your brain, your mind to imagine, so imagine the very best, Spend time enjoying the marvelous feelings.

Make These Inner Mind Movies Spectacular

Make them soothing if you need them to be relaxed. Joyous when happy. I’m sure you get the concept. Spend time living in this future world. Enjoy the future you in these mental movies. Enjoy the past movie memories.

Consider where you want to be like this, when, with whom, doing what? Use the questions to focus on different times and places in your near and distant future when you want to be resourceful like this. Imagine it fully.

Two Ways Of Seeing: Recalling And Creating

There is something else you may or may not be aware of. There are two ways you can create images and you can remember in your mind. You can watch an event with you in it as if you are watching a video, or selfie of yourself. You can see you and others and the location and the circumstances as a video or movie.

The second way of seeing is through your own eyes. It is your point of view (POV). You don’t see yourself but you see what you see as if in real life. For example, in the number one way of seeing you might see yourself sitting inside a new car from the outside the car on the drivers door side. Or you might see yourself through the windshield, or windscreen of the car right there with your hands on the wheel.

In the second way of seeing you are in the car, feeling what it feels to sit in the seat, comfortable or not. Leather or otherwise. You might smell the new car smell. And you would see your hands on the steering wheel and feel yourself griping it. You’d see out the windows, the dashboard and if you look down your lap and legs.

You don’t see the entire you because what you see is what you actually see in the real world when you look out of your eyes. Your Point Of View (POV).

So there are at least these two ways to see, recall and create. You want to recall your memories first however you recall them. You want to live within them and feel and see and hear everything you are able. You want to re-experience the good feelings. Then you want to do the other way.

So whether you first begin with POV or not notice it and after awhile spending time doing it this give the other way some practice time.

Repeated Correct Practice Makes A Perfect Habit

Remember, this is practice. This is how you are going to build a positive new habit. You will enjoy this habit building. You practice daily, whenever you are able, going back and finding positive times from your past and reliving them as fully as possible. Spend dedicated time doing this. Find as many as you are able. ONE at a time.

Build your mental library of resources. Spend dedicated time going into the future and imagining yourself with all the resources you want to have. One at a time. Imagine people, places, events, activities, situations where you want more of these good feelings and resources. It can be any time, not just a difficult time but wonderful times as well.

Imagine yourself living in the future positively and resourcefully. Build a library catalog of positive future resources. Spend dedicated time doing this too. Do it also whenever you can during your day. Practice both of these using both ways of seeing. Do one at a time. POV for while. The come back later and do those over again but see it as a selfie video. Practice that for while.

Eventually, you practice and do both. In doing these exercises you are building so many positive skill sets and will develop so many positive resources and habits it will amaze and delight you.

Stop! Take a breath and relax for a moment and imagine  how fantastic life will be in the near, near future as you feel, think and act so much more resourcefully. Imagine how incredible you will feel as you tap into your inner resources more frequently and fill your daily moments in this way.

We Become What We Think About. What Consumes The Mind Controls Us

You now have the opportunity to become more happy, confident, peaceful, secure, loving, patient any way you’d like to be more of. You can feel anyone of these and all of them more frequently in your day to day. Isn’t that wonderful? It really is! The more time you spent recounting, re-feeling, recreating, re-experiencing positive memories and moments the more you get back.

SO keep going back and finding them. Find one, then find another one. Have fun finding out how many positive, resourceful moments you have actually had. Some will be real easy to discover, the ones you always remember, but as you continue to look back you will unlock and remember others you haven’t thought about in a long time.

Project into the future again and again in a variety of ways. Imagine your future, specific times and places and people you want to enjoy more. You want to have more fun, delight, and resourcefulness. Spread all the wonderful good resources and feelings throughout your future.

The byproduct of doing this is that more of you present gets filled with positivity as well. You live better right now too! Imagine, you go back transform your past by looking for the good in it, you feel great right now and start getting results you want and you code you future for all this goodness too. Pretty cool, wouldn’t you say?

Do All These Exercises In The Spirit Of Fun, Exploration, Adventure, And Play

Somethings may happen quickly or slowly it doesn’t matter stay with it playfully. Somethings happen instantly some take longer that is just how it is. Consider doing this as if you are planting a beautiful garden.

You plant the seeds and they take time to grow. Some come up sooner than others but eventually the garden appears. Relax, enjoy, keep practicing and let it happen. The benefits will be there.

Some things are simpler and easier than others just stick with it. Speak gently to yourself through all this as if you were a loving, compassionate coach helping you along. If things are tough they are tough no reason to get discouraged. Have fun, be patience, keep the faith and it will pay off.

My son told me today, that doing the top of the pyramid on a three high (three levels of water skiers on each others shoulders forming a pyramid) is scary. BUT he does it any way. He faces his fear and makes the climb and even while on top it is scary but exhilarating. Keep going, don’t let anything stop you.

There is noting to fear I only use that example because some people get frustrated if everything doesn’t occur over night and quit. You have to face the fact that somethings just take some time.

So if they do be prepared to hang in there. You will discover so much more delight than you can ever imagine if you make this daily ritual, a daily routine and practice.

You can’t even yet begin to appreciate how everything can and will transform when you apply yourself in this way. I’ll share more next time as we continue this exploration.” Rex Sikes

Find enjoyment everywhere you look today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others

Do This Whenever You Are Nervous: It Will Help Immensely!

fun to do the impossible

“Do you ever get nervous in public? Do you have difficulty speaking or performing in front of others? Are you afraid to meet new people? Perhaps, sometimes you are just jittery what can be done about it?

Since we are on the subject of Directed Questions™ and how we can direct the mind in useful ways to get the desired results or outcomes we want I thought I would share this article I published years ago.

Originally, it was a post to a Inet group. I was writing to help someone overcome performance jitters or anxiety around being in front of a group of people or an audience.

I work with actors, speakers, attorneys, doctors, educators and people from all walks of life. As I recall, this was a magician but this process, my method, applies to everything we do. I hope you enjoy this article. I hope you will begin using Directed Questions™ to make an incredible difference for yourself.

First Performance Jitters

By Rex Sikes

You are getting some good advice here from fellow performers, know your routine well, jitters are normal, etc. All sound advice. Heed it.

What I additionally do is ask myself positive productive questions which lead my mind in the direction I want it to go in.

‘For example, I ask myself questions like ‘Just how surprised and delighted I will be to discover myself having a marvelous time?’

‘In how many different ways can I discover myself delighted and excited at having the opportunity to perform?’

‘How much fun can I stand and in how many ways will I find myself enthused?’

‘How easily can I discover my sense of humor (or whatever) and how much I love performing?’

‘In how many different ways can I excite and entertain the audience, and have them have fun and enjoyment?’

‘In how many different ways can I feel and express my enthusiasm for entertaining?’

‘How quickly will I discover an ever increasing sense of confidence arising in me to the point where I feel totally incredible about this wonderful opportunity to amaze and delight strangers?’

‘How many new friends can I make as a result of this opportunity?’

These are just a few brief sample questions you can ask yourself – or develop your own.

I use questions like these questions to fill my mind. You see when you ask a question your mind goes in search of an answer. It knows what to look for since we grow up asking questions. The problem with most of us is that we have asked crappie questions of ourselves and others.

So I use good positive questions to stimulate my mind to search for answers which I already presuppose to be there. (understanding language presuppositions which occur naturally in English or any native speaker’s language is most beneficial).

For example, I already assume to have a delightful experience. The question I ask is ‘how quickly I can recognize the delight? OR ‘in how many ways I will discover myself feeling delighted or find myself thinking positive happy thoughts?’

OR ‘what is the first thing I will appreciate about myself when I discover myself already behaving in that fashion, or will I tell myself when I suddenly find that I have behaved in that fashion?’ ‘Where will I feel the delight most in my head, heart, chest etc.?’

I presuppose (or assume) I will have it then I ask how I will manifest it or recognize it or act, speak, think or see regarding it.

In other words, I want to get my brain to work for me. I want to say things like ‘I wonder how quickly I will realize how excited I am’ (rather than I’m nervous). Notice also I am not make affirmations – in other words I am not claiming something to be the case when it is not – I am posing questions in a particular fashion, which directs the mind and doesn’t set up conflicts with what you know to be true.

For example, some people make affirmations like “I am my ideal weight’ when clearly they are not and everything including the mirror tells them otherwise. However, if you ask ‘How quickly can I discover myself maintaining my ideal weight, losing weight easily and enjoying all the right foods in the right amounts?’

AND ‘How happy will I be to discover myself just naturally eating healthier and shedding the pounds?’ your brain doesn’t know the exact answer, and you haven’t given it anything to conflict with. You have simply lead it along the lines with least resistance.

The cool part about brains is they really do look for the answers when questions are asked. So I use my brain to program the behaviors I want. Including calm relaxed confidence, quite assurance and the energetic and dynamic appeal needed for entertaining maximally.

Now notice I didn’t ask a question searching for a particular answer such as ‘what is the capital of Montana’ or ‘on what day at what time will all this make sense to me?’

I ask questions in an open ended fashion, like – ‘even though I don’t feel totally comfortable with this yet, how quickly can I begin to discover myself beginning to relax and feel calm and confident?’ AND ‘where can I begin to put my attention which will be most useful for me in discovering how truly talented I really am?’

‘How quickly can I begin to find myself truly recognizing just how wonderful I am and how lucky I am to be able to share myself and my talents with an audience of twenty or thirty friends?’

See again, I lead my mind where I want it to go and then I fill it with these positive thoughts morning, noon and night AND especially when driving.

I have been doing this for close to twenty years so for me it has been second nature for nearly as long.

I also use my quiet time (or else I purposely make some quiet time 3 – 5 minutes at a time a few times through out the day) to imagine or picture what I want happening, beginning to see myself behaving in the manner I wish to behave in and then ask myself questions about ‘how quickly I can already find myself behaving like this?’, AND ‘what I will see, hear or tell myself or feel as I continue to successfully engage in these positive behaviors?’

Now it is important to do this throughout the days in advance of when you need it. Repeatedly fill your mind with powerful positively phrased questions and positive internal imagery and wonderfully positive feelings of anticipating doing well, even beyond your wildest expectations.

Continue to practice your routines and let the questions and mental work you do make you excited about the event. Remember, you have the opportunity to dazzle new found friends and acquaintances. It is really a marvelous opportunity.

There is much I do for myself and as a performance coach. People who have used and tested my methods do exceedingly well. And I have years and years of very happy satisfied people who have learned to run their own brains to benefit them in powerful ways.

So take all the good advice, use it, practice your routine, fill your mind with useful positive thoughts and go out there and give them one heck of an incredible performance!!!!

Be well and enjoy!!! Rex Sikes
Whether or not you perform professionally as an actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, public speaker or not you can use Directed Questions™ to help you in whatever you want to do.

Whether it is feel happier, get some rest, be more confident, have more energy, eat right, maintain your ideal weight, save more money WHATEVER it is you want you can use Directed Questions™ to help make your dreams and goals come true. SO, why not discover how incredibly powerful these questions are when you begin today? Rex Sikes”

How surprised and delighted might you be to discover the many magical moments that make up today?

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude! Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others. Give a gift that keeps on giving!

Do You Know How To Turbo Charge Your Mind For Success And Happiness?

ask for what you want and be prepared to get it

“An important area of my work since 1980 has been in the area of how questions direct the mind, the thinker, and how they can be used more effectively than affirmations. I have included an article I wrote on using questions when you write articles or emails. It contains powerful information you can use in your daily life to make positive lasting changes. Whether you are interested in writing or not I suggest you read it.

Since I began my work and shared it in articles, seminars, and home study programs, countless numbers of people have used my approach to get wonderful results personally and professionals. This is marvelous and I feel grateful and happy that people have truly benefited around the world.

A few others have piggy backed on my efforts and helped spread the concept. Credited or not, I am always happy if people are getting good results and value from anything I have shared, whether or not I am the one sharing it.

Here is an article I wrote for the newsletter of my friend ‘Mr. Fire’  Joe Vitale (seen in The Secret). I share it here because I think it can help you in many ways. It is NOT just about writing but about directing your brain in ways that are most useful and effective. Enjoy!

‘How Can Questions Make Your Writing More Hypnotic?

by Rex Steven Sikes

Copyright for this article is owned by Rex Steven Sikes. It’s used here with his permission.

Did you know there are actually three languages inside the English language? That’s right, at least three!

There is the language of pictures or how things appear, how we see or view them in our mind as well as out there in the real world.

Second, there is the language of sounds or what we say to ourselves and what we hear on the inside.

And third there is the language of feelings, like when something wonderful grabs hold of us and makes us feel warm and special inside.

Knowing the three languages and incorporating them into your hypnotic writing makes your appeals even more powerful. Words like “paint, picture, imagine, bright, dim, flash,” are visual words. Words that convey sound or auditory information are words like “discuss, hear, harmony, tell, say to yourself”. And words that help us feel things are words like “warm, cold, shudder, feel, grasp, walk through, get a hold of, heart to heart”.

By spicing up your writing with these words you help others begin to imagine more clearly what you are saying because you appeal to at least three of our five senses. And that’s a tasty thing to do that will spice up your writing and make it more vivid to the people who are reading your work.

But that’s not all there is. There is something even more incredible, that directs the human mind to pay attention. Do you know what that is?

Not yet, but I have just given you some great examples. It is the power of questions. You see questions direct the mind. That is true whether you are asking a question of yourself or another person.

Perhaps you say “Yeah, who says?” See there, you just asked a question! And the incredible thing is that this is what our brains are designed to do: Ask and answer questions posed to it and find solutions and new behaviors.

Brains love questions! That’s what brains do all day long. They go in search of things they can do that make life more interesting. Your brains already know how to search for and find information. The key is learning how to use questions to direct your mind in powerful and positive ways.

The problem with most people is that they already use questions to get results they don’t want. They ask things like ‘Why do bad things always happen to me?’ or ‘How come I never do anything right?’ or ‘How come others always get ahead?’ or ‘Why am I so stupid?’

And guess what? Your brain knows exactly where to go in your personal history to find the answers. What your brain does is go on a search, and then comes back with things like ‘Well, it’s because you stuck your head in the toaster when you were four years old’, or ‘You didn’t have the right kind of teachers, or parents,’ or ‘Bad things always happen to good people’.

You see, it is automatic. Ask a question of the brain and it answers in a great variety of ways. In fact the brain keeps on working on the questions long after the answers start being delivered. You know how that is, don’t you? You certainly do if you ever experienced that critical voice that keeps ragging and nagging on you long into the night.

Would you like to find a way to end that? Would you like to be able to direct your mind in powerful, positive ways? Do you want to be more influential and positively persuasive in person—and in your writing?

The key to having more wonderful things happen within you is to help the brain help you by redirecting what it already does well. If instead of asking questions like the negative ones above, we learn to instead begin asking questions about how wonderful things are, then the brain has a positive direction to follow.

And by focusing our attention on what we want instead of what we don’t want our brains can help deliver the good things to us. There is a rule that states, ‘What you focus on you get.’ So if you are focused on negative questions and negative things, the brain goes “okay I can deliver that”.

The brain isn’t biased. Good or bad, it just does what it knows. So we need to grab hold of it and utilize it to our advantage by redirecting it and then letting it run.

For example, you ask this instead: ‘I wonder how soon before I begin to realize how talented I am?’ or ‘I wonder how quickly I can realize how fortunate I am?’ or ‘How delighted will I be to discover my powers of persuasion increasing rapidly?’

You see, when you direct your mind to what you want, your brain says, ‘I don’t know the answer but I’ll go and find out.’ And that is the key! You ask a question which sends your brain in the direction of what is positive that you want to have, but to which you don’t know the answer yet.

If you are familiar at all with powerful hypnotic languaging, you will already notice the kinds of useful hypnotic language patterns I use in these questions. If not, well then be happy there is more for you to learn which will help improve what you do. (See the http://www.idea-seminars.com.)

The incredible thing is your brain already knows exactly what to do. For example, if I ask you “Where did you get the shirt you are wearing as you read this?” Your brain probably knows what store, when, where, or that it was a gift. It won’t answer me by telling me you were abducted by aliens when you were a teenager or some other kind of frivolous answer.

It knows how to go after the class of information you present it with. And realize that I directed your mind with a question to the kind of information I was after. If others were listening to us as we spoke, their minds would be directed to where you got your shirt, as well. This is powerful to know although it may seem obvious.

So the key for your own personal improvement is asking yourself questions which lead your mind in useful directions. If you want positive results, you ask something like ‘How soon can I begin to discover the wonderful results I am already getting? And as I begin to notice those how many more can I discover that delight and amaze me?’ You would do the same if you were talking to, or writing to, another person.

Now let’s say you are selling another person a pen. And you ask, ‘Want to buy my pen?’ The person obviously can answer with ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Because the question you asked didn’t lead to further exploration. It lead only to a single “I want it” or “I don’t.”

But notice if you ask ‘Do you know how delighted you will be when you buy my pen?’ You aren’t directly asking them to buy it. (Well, in fact you are using another hypnotic pattern known as embedded commands). You are focusing them on something they can’t yet know the answer to: And that is the amount of delight they may experience.

I call this Mental Aikido. You side-step the issue of buying by focusing them on a positive attribute of owning the pen: the delight. So they can say ‘no, I don’t know how delighted I will be,’ in which case you have a door open to go ahead and demonstrate it for them. Or they say ‘Yes I know how delighted I will be,’ and then they go to buy it. Or they give you further information that would be necessary for you to know to go ahead and make the sale. Any which way you cut it, you now have a powerful tool in your hands to help you influence and sell. Follow?

You can influence others by directing your own brain! In fact, when you learn how to direct your own brain and use its already existing features in a user friendly way, you will enjoy more influence, power and happiness in your life. That’s because you turn your brain into a powerful ally. And you certainly would want to do that, don’t you?

While this method of Directed Questions™ is something I teach for incredible personal power and life enhancement, I thought you might be interested in a strategy for being able to get your readers to really respond to your hypnotic writing. So here is something else you can use to really add to your hypnotic writing abilities:

These next questions are ones to ask yourself to help you become more creative and begin to be able to paint word pictures for others, so they can readily see what it is you are talking about, so that they more readily feel like going ahead with what you propose.

The brain and eyes are wired together. This means that when we move our eyes we access certain portions of our brain. When we look up we mostly access the visual portions of the brain. When we look laterally side to side or down left we mostly access the auditory portions of our brain. When we look down to the right we mostly access the kinesthetic or feeling portions of our brain. We actually access more than just these areas but we access these areas in greater portions when we move our eyes in this manner. Hence, we can learn to move our eyes systematically to gain greater access to the wonderful information stored in our brain.

Step 1. Look up (don’t move your head, just your eyes) and say ‘What do I want to show my readers?’ ‘What is it I want them to see clearly and how can I best get them to picture that in their mind?’ Spend a few seconds entertaining that question while looking up, entertaining how you can help your reader picture in their mind what it is you want them to see.

Step 2. Now move your eyes down to the left and ask ‘What is it I want them to say to themselves as they read it?’ and ‘How best can I tell them what it is I what them to really pay attention to?’ Again spend a few seconds in your own mind entertaining how you can best help your readers say those things to themselves that you would want them to say as they read your writing.

Step 3. Now move your eyes down right and ask ‘What is it I want them to feel as the read my writing?’ and ‘How best can I get them to have these feelings?’ And spend a few moments getting a grasp of what you want them to feel as they progress through your written material.

Once you have asked those questions, now take a short break and do something else for a little while. Let your unconscious mind work on it. I used to go watch TV and get caught up in a show. But soon I would find the wheels start churning, and I would hop over to the typewriter (in those days) and begin writing. Things began to flow.

If ever I got stuck, I simply asked the questions again and took another break. Later I would go back and edit and re-write the paper to polish it. But this unlocked the creative juices in a very particular and powerful way.

You ask yourself how you can show them in your writing, tell them and get them to feel in your writing. You can additionally ask ‘What is it I really need to say to get them to buy? What do they really need to know? How can I best word my letter to really get my points across? How soon can I find the words and ideas flowing through me in a way that amazes and delights me?’

Or ask any variation of those questions that leads you to the results you want. Then take a break and let your unconscious mind go to work. But remember to come back to the project after your unconscious has had a little time to work on it for you. Often I found that once, maybe two or three times, were necessary to get it the way I really wanted it.

Remember you want your reader to be able to picture themselves using your product. You want them to imagine what it would be like to have it or to miss out on it. You want to paint vivid detail in the mind’s eye of your reader to help them to have the feelings of wanting, desire, or need for your product. Or to feel that’s enough to stop whatever they are currently doing and follow through on what your proposal is.

You want them to say ‘yes’ inside their head and hear positive sounds and voices as they read through your letter. Yeah this is great, this makes sense, wow I can do this yes. And you want them to have the feelings of desire, certainty and taking action. You really want to take them by the hand and walk them through this process. Combine this with your other hypnotic writing skills and you become a real powerhouse.

So remember to ask the questions which direct your mind to what you want your reader to see, hear and feel. Direct your reader to what you want to be able to show them, tell them and help make them feel. You do this by using questions to direct your mind to what you need to pay attention to first in order to influence some body else.

By previewing in your mind what you need them to see, hear and say, and feel to themselves, you can begin to paint pictures with your words that will get them excited about your product or service in a way that makes them feel they have to have it.

And this truly is hypnotic, isn’t it?

Joe ‘Mr Fire’ Vitale Newsletter link:  


Copyright Rex Steven Sikes IDEA Seminars 2000 If you’d like to learn more about directing your mind for success using Directed Questions™ and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) go to IDEA Seminars website http://www.idea-seminars.com for home study products.

NOTE: I returned to college in the 80’s. I don’t feel I am any smarter than anyone else. I listened to my professors for the sensory language they used most often, and I noticed how they moved their eyes and gestured while they spoke or thought about a question they were asked.

THEN I wrote my term research and term papers, and answered my essay tests questions utilizing what I had noticed, using the words the professor seemed to prefer. I attribute this practice as the one that took me from a D- student to an A student. I LITERALLY learned to speak their language.

I’d get notes on my papers like ‘You clearly see how this is important’ or “You have a great grasp on the material’ or “I liked the tone of your discussion’. As I said, I’m no smarter I just learned how to better communicate with people who are important. Aren’t there areas and people in your life where doing similarly would be useful?

If I can learn to benefit in this way you can too! Wouldn’t it be wonderful to transform your life in simple yet powerful ways by learning a few new things? I’m sure it would be, don’t you?” Rex Sikes

I wonder how delighted you will be to discover yourself having an amazing day, today?

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude! Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others. Give a gift that keeps on giving!

Do This When You Want To Feel Good!

you are here to expand and become more of yourself

“Are you ever down or lack energy? Does it seem that  sometimes your thoughts or feelings carry you where you don’t want to go? Have you tried to get ahead or feel better but you just keep getting more of the same?  If you answered yes to any of these questions you are not alone.

There are some things you can do that bring change about quickly. I have shared many of these with you in this blog. Please go back and read through the blog again and again as many great golden nuggets will leap out at you through multiple readings.

I have been discussing gratitude and feeling grateful is one of the quickest ways to changing how you feel for the better. You have to do it to get the change you can’t just give lip service to it. The way to feel grateful is to look at your present life and your past and find everything and everyone you are actually thankful for. It can be very tiny or very large. Everything counts! There are scores of things you take for granted. Go back and find these. What are they? You can write them down. That is a great practice.

What are the things you feel grateful for? Then notice WHY you are grateful for them. What are the reasons? This is an important piece. What and Why! You want to actually FEEL grateful and these help.

For example, ‘I am grateful for my feet. They have carried me near and far. All my life I have traveled and my feet have carried me and supported me. I would not have been able to do much or all of what I have done if I didn’t have feet that worked so well. They have taken me on adventures, gotten me in trouble, but I have seen and experienced so much because of my feet. My toes, the bones, the joints, the tissues. Everything about my feet I am thankful for.’

It can be anything! All your bodily processes, your muscles, your organs, your health and well being, you ability to think and remember, your ability to speak, see, hear, touch, taste, smell, read and write, The people in your life, good and bad, the lessons you have learned as a result of challenges. The challenges and opportunities that have helped make you who you are today. All events, situations and circumstances. Your things, where you have been. Your education or lack of it. EVERYTHING is available for you to list.

we first make our habits then our habits make us

It is important to be really thankful to feel it. Just reciting a list will not get you very far. Yes, it is better than not doing anything at all and it may be the grease that makes the wheel eventually move smoothly but the point is to ACTUALLY FEEL gratitude. So what are you grateful and why. Spend at least 5 minutes every morning when you first get up. Before your feet hit the floor count your blessings! It is a  great way to energize your day.

Too many people get out of bed dreading what the day may bring or that they have to be ending their sleep. Learn to greet the day with enthusiasm, with vim and vigor as they say! Get excited about what the new day will bring. After all it is an entirely new day. The only thing that keeps it the same as yesterday is our perceptions and routines. So shake them up add in some fun and some novelty and enjoy the new day. Feel better.

Do your five minutes gratitude prior to going to sleep, You are always welcome to do  for longer, but 5 minutes twice a day is practical for you. It is easy to accomodate.

Another thing you can do that we have discussed in past posts is to shift your physiology. Move your body into productive postures and movements. For example, You can stand up and imagine what you look like, stand like and move like when you have 5 times the amount of energy you presently have. Actually move your body, shake it up. You have to be willing to play to win so do it!

Then do 10 times, 20 and more. Move you body and walk around feeling the added energy. It is pretend but it works! When you move your body into the same physical arrangements as when you are feeling great you begin to feel great.  It is hardwired into your neurology. You can’t help but to begin to re-experience it!

If you want to be more confident stand with shoulders back, chest out, chin up look ahead, strut, stomp, walk and move, breath as someone who has lots of confident. Move and talk and act as you do when you do feel powerful and secure and confident in yourself! Do it. It is pretend but it works! You are behaving now as you do when you have had these feelings in the past. Any feeling you have is yours to re-live and make work for you.

the more u are thankful

See yourself in your mind’s eye when you are filled with confidence and power and acting resourcefully. Listen to how you sound when you speak with authority and purpose. Feel the feelings as you look and listen. Feel the feelings as you do the behaviors of behaving with confidence and power. Notice how good it feels to actually do this.

Whenever you want to feel instantly better,stop what you are doing take a deep breath or two or three and shift you physiology. Really do it. Stand or sit as you would feeling better. Remember vividly times in your past when you felt good or felt great. Choose one and relive it in your mind and then try it on with your body and movements. Use your body and your voice the same way. Find other times too if you want. Re-live it.

You lived it your body knows it. Your brain knows it. You know it deep inside. So re-activate it. You re-create it inside and outside. You put it on as you would some clothes. You do it as an actor would do it. You re-live it and when you do, even in pretend, your brain and body bring back the feelings of feeling good. It is awesome and it is powerful!

You already do this, outside of conscious awareness, to feel good and not so good. Your body has body memory. Now, you are taking deliberate conscious control of a mechanism that already works reliably and you are aiming it at what you want instead. You are making it work for you by choice, by making a positive decision in the moment when you need it. You are taking charge of it!

After you have done it and have changed your feelings imagine other times in the future when you might want to feel better again. What would be the triggering thought, event or person that might make you feel less than glorious.? Run it in your imagination, see the triggering moment and then choose to feel better.

Watch yourself change it from less than resourceful into feeling what you want to feel instead. Run some of these movies in your head. Pick another two or three situations in your life and see you move from less than glorious to glorious. You are using what your body and mind already do purposely. You are learning to skillfully take charge of it and become more resourceful. This is another skill to be grateful for.

tesla law of universe enrgy frequency vibration

Learn to run your brain and make it work for you!  Learn to take charge or your neurology to serve you. You make the decision and instruct your unconscious what you want to do. You keep doing it and you make it a habit.

You make a positive habit of deciding to act on you own behalf and transform your less than glorious moments into more glorious ones. Use it at every opportunity and even when you don’t need it in the moment. You can use it anytime you want to feel better.

Since your mind and body already know what to do all you have to do is steer it productively. The more you do this the easier and quicker it becomes. The more you make it a habit the more you will delight and surprise yourself.  You will discover  yourself more delighted and enjoying life overall. Correct repetition builds habits.

These are two very powerful, positive, productive ways you can instantly turn a less than glorious moment or feelings into better ones. They will not do you any good at all unless you actually do them. Remember, you can fake it till you make it but you have to engage the processes! The goal is to transform more of your moments in your day into feeling good moments.

You get what you predominantly think and feel during each day. When you are feeling wonderful and on top of the world your energy is higher and more positive. When you are living mostly in high frequency positive energy you attract and create more of the same.

You literally vibrate at a higher level. All good things can come to you when you  live in gratitude because true appreciation is one of the highest forms of energy. So make it a point to feel as good as you can any moment of the day. Even if it is not ecstatic the goal is to aim yourself into feeling better or as good as you can.

think happy thoughts good things will happen

Go for all the gusto you can AND keep in mind that you want to feel the best you can. It is not about plastering a fake greeting card smile on your face when times are tough. There are times when we may grieve or feel less than happy. These are true moments. Accept that.

In these times make it a point to help yourself feel a little bit better. Baby steps are fine and may be all you can seem to take. The goal is not to feel worse so if you try to make to big a leap into feeling wonderful and you don’t feel it. Stop.

Stop and take some deep breaths, take a nap, a break, and later, a little while later, make a smaller move towards feeling better. This is still making it work for you because you are gently aiming your energy in a more positive direction. So there may be times like this. Most of the time you can move forward into feeling incredible.

When every fiber of your being lives in a state of appreciation for whatever is in your life, good and bad, because YOU KNOW that even the bad has seeds of opportunity YOU are living well. YOU are able to see opportunity you otherwise might not, you feel incredible, you attract and create all good things. Birds of a feather flock together. Like attracts like. You become what you think about. Do these things. If you haven’t already started begin today. You will transform your life when you do!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful fun filled day!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.

 

How To Get Unstuck And Move Ahead Successfully

growth is

‘Standing is harder than moving’, it is true. Try standing in one spot for an hour, or even less time and you will find it difficult. Walking for the same amount of time not so tough (for most of us). Standing is harder than moving is a great way of saying it is difficult to be stuck. Stuck conveys the notion of no movement.

One can be stuck mentally or physically. When your car is stuck in the mud you aren’t going anywhere. When you car is stuck what are you trying to get it to do? Move, right. Yes, the wheels may be spinning, there is some movement, but not the kind that results in the car moving from stuck in the mud.

The movement has to have some friction in order to get the car going. It has to make contact in the right way for it to be meaningful. Random extraneous movement like spinning your wheels doesn’t get the car anywhere unless you can actually some how move the car itself, or change the position, or the environment so that contact can be made. Once made you may actually get the car out of the mud.

My point is that sometimes we get stuck and that is difficult. We aren’t going anywhere just as the car doesn’t. We may be spinning our wheels meaning we make no significant forward progress because our efforts are not effective. We keep doing the same thing over and over, as the spinning wheel does, but nothing changes. If we expect it all to change that is the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results.

Being stuck is difficult just as standing is harder than moving. When we walk we are moving all of our muscles together so we don’t feel the effect of gravity on us nearly as much as when we remain in one position, in one place. So these analogies remind us of at least one or two meaningful thoughts we might be able to apply to our own life and circumstance.

When the car is stuck you try to create forward OR backward movement. Any movement that will get it going and get it unstuck. Assuming all things equal it wouldn’t matter if you back out or pull forward you just know you need to move in a direction to get out of there.

be master of your fate not slave of your problems

You also know how you mentally feel when your car is stuck. You have things to do and places to be and now you have to stop and deal with this. It is annoying, at the very least, most probably. The mind goes to the problem, perhaps to how late one will be or whatever other less than glorious thoughts arise. Frankly, it sucks.

SO when stuck lot’s of less than productive things occur. There is no movement, it is difficult to remain in one place. We may spin our wheels and think less than productive thoughts all the while trying to get unstuck. We work ourselves up, get frustrated or angry, fear the worst, being late or missing out (whatever it may be) and none of these things help us to get unstuck. In fact, they don’t help at all. In fact, they may inhibit any success because they create more stress physically, mentally and emotionally. Stress in not too useful when you want to find solutions and solve problems.

So what to do?

What one MIGHT do is Stop for a second. TAKE a deep breath. Let it out slowly. Take another or as many as you need to to calm down and relax a bit. You aren’t going anywhere so there is nothing to do in the moment but relax. Let out a sigh… and chill for a moment.

Once you do this it IS as if, using another car analogy, you put yourself into neutral. When you drive using a manual or stick transmission you pass through neutral to changes gears or direction. SO put yourself into neutral for a moment so you can better decide where to mentally move next. You need a moment to get away from the energy drain or the stress that is the immediate problem. For most people being clear headed works better to make changes and find solutions that being angry and uptight. The brain just works better when given the opportunity to find solutions instead of focusing over and over on what is wrong.

I mean really, when you do focus on what is wrong it expands in your mind, doesn’t it? It may become way more important than it actually is? You may really become hot and bothered in a negative way. This is not where most people would choose to be or want to feel. To be different in that moment we need to learn to do things differently.

If we keep doing what we always did expecting things to somehow be different well, that IS insane. Remember?

all that we are arises with our thoughts

SO take a short break, put yourself in neutral. Sigh, let go, take a bit of a walk. Remember walking is easier than standing still. When all your parts are moving your brain works better too. Many people pace or walk when on the phone for example. Whenever you have a problem it is easier to find solutions when you walk. IT REALLY IS!

For people in therapy, it would be much more effective if the counselor and the client, or therapist and patient walked during the session than if they sit in the chairs. When we sit, we get stuck, entrenched, we maintain a position (literally and figuratively) and it is as if we freeze everything. PLUS, we associate problems to the chair we are seated in. Every week the client comes in and sits down to pour out their problems. The chair, the feeling of being in the same chair, what they see always sitting in the same chair, the same way, looking at the same things while thinking of what is wrong makes it easier to find what is wrong, the problem, and it is much tougher to find solutions or what is right. Minds travel in directions.

Once they pour out their problems the two should get up and walk to find solutions. Move from stuck to neutral and walk. Don’t just sit in the same place, facing in the same direction. It is harder to come up with new possibilities after focusing on problems for many minutes. SO change what you are doing. This applies to sitting over a conference table or arguing over the dinner table. We become anchored to a way of thinking, being and acting, we literally ‘take a position’ and defend it. When you want to discuss possibilities take a walk.

Think about people fighting. Boxers square off and face each other. From this position they fight. They couldn’t fight much standing side by side facing in the same direction, like when you walk together. When you both walk along side by side you explore things together, you discover things nearly simultaneously. You are walking along and seeing the same things, moving at the same pace, you are more in harmony figuratively and literally. It is easier to come to an agreement or find a mutually acceptable solution, or the client or patient to find possibilities when moving, when not entrenched, stuck sitting or defending a position. Really, I mean try it for yourself! It can work wonders!

Get up, get moving, get breathing, get thinking in new ways. The energy shifts just in doing these things.

If someone is ranting and raging getting them to stop and sit down is difficult because all the energy is moving rapidly and strongly. They literally may have to walk it off and slow down. They must change their breathing gradually to deescalate. They need to shift their body eventually into neutral. Really think about it. Watch someone get over being angry, watch the ‘unwind’, the release, the eventual ‘let go’ and the breathing changes.

Sometimes you may need to cool down. You are best served if you understand how to do it in advance of when you need it. That is successfully utilizing your resources. Remember the motto, ‘always prepared’. When you know what to do before you need it you are better able to navigate any circumstance.

inch toward your goals

A trick paramedics know is that when someone has a sudden change of circumstances (for example an accident but they aren’t injured) the body may pump adrenaline – it actually will. Adrenaline provides us energy for our fight or flight. In the olden jungle days, when we hunted and gathered we probably had more encounters or reasons for our body to flood us with adrenaline. Today, in our cubicle world of artificial lights and computers we have less physical threats or events that require sudden adrenaline release. Still, a perceived threat, an imagined threat results in adrenaline being pumped.

Okay, I digress, back to the paramedic point. When someone is flooding with adrenaline the paramedic knows not to have them sit down or lie down but tells them to walk it off in a safe place. They may move them out of traffic into a safe area and walk with them. The body needs time to release and process the adrenaline and eventualyl return to normal. Sitting or lying down first is not the correct thing to do. Walk it off until you CAN sit or lie down.

If on the other hand you are bored or depressed you need to energize and move. You need to change how you use your body, how you breath. You need to change your view literally. You need variety in what you see when you look around. SO move, walk and walk with energy, look around and listen. It is time to get out of your head and experience the outer world again. It is time to get the body pumping some chemicals and hormones that make you feel better (like endorphins).

This applies to the raging person as well. You need to change your internal mental view AND YOUR outside view in order to relax, calm down and become more resourceful again.

When you create movement in your body you create movement in your mind and vice versa. For you to feel significant change the movement needs to be meaningful, it has to move you in the direction you want to go in. You need to connect just as the tire needs to connect with some surface in order to free the car from the mud. You need to move from neutral into the appropriate gear. Remember, neutral is a great place. It is useful and a good place to move through if you are bored and depressed. Whatever you feel strongly you are invested in. You are locked into it.

Neutral allows you to be elsewhere at the moment. It is far better to be in neutral than to be depressed. While it may sound similar neutral is a place of non-judgement. It is not lack of energy, it has it’s own energy that is different from whatever other things you may experience. Neutral is more akin to the notion of feeling or being centered, It is a place of acceptance and of allowing. Neutral is not a place of judgement or blame. It is a sense of let go and calm. It is a place from which one can move in any direction.

SO learn to find neutral for yourself. From neutral you can move in more productive directions. If you are stuck there is one thing you certainly need to do and you know what it is. You need to move. If you are stuck you need to do something else differently than what you are doing. For your life to change you have to change things in your life. To get different results from the ones you do not want you will have to do things in another way. You will need to adopt a different and more useful point of view.

I think the notion of ‘outlook’ is fascinating. People say, ‘what is your outlook?’ I think the term outlook is meaningful. It means to look out from behind your eyes. What do you see when you look out at the world? It is your out look.

Our attitude and our beliefs makes a big difference in what we see and what we are able to see. Our outlook on the world or our future, our forecast is determined by what we consider and think on the inside. We either think of the world as a wonderful place and enjoyable place or a horrible bad place to use extreme examples. Guess what. Whatever we think first determines what we pay attention to in order to validate our mindset. We attempt to make the outer world conform to our thoughts and expectations of it. What we think it is IS what it is even if we are wrong. Our senses often deceive us. Still we trust them for the most part.

overcoming self limiting beleifs

Our mental filters can shade or color what we think and do, what we expect and make happen in the world or don’t. Our perceptions determine our reality more than reality itself. Actually, we are not really sure of what reality is only our version of it. Most of us will fight tooth and nail to defend what we think our truth is. We will fight because we think what we think is real.  It isn’t but that does little to change us.

I decided a long time ago if this were the case and if I make up reality then it was time I make up a good one. I wanted a reality that serves me and suits me. Why live in a cruddy one when I can live in a glorious one? And this brings us back to our thoughts. Thoughts create, thoughts precede. Thoughts make a difference. So choose to think the very best thoughts and to find the very best thoughts and you will. When you think positive your world can be more positive.

Instead of being stuck and thinking thoughts that keep us there, shift into neutral. Take a physical and mental momentary break and from there choose what direction you will move in. Make contact and set a positive direction. Think positively. And keep thinking positive! Keep moving in the positive direction and you will find that moving is easier than standing. You will discover it getting easier and easier along the way because everything works together. Keep moving meaningfully.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step but to get to the destination you have to take the next step and then each step after that. Keep going. Correct repetition builds powerful positive habits.  Get yourself unstuck whenever it occurs and move on forward into a more wonderful way of being.” Rex Sikes

Have a great one today!

Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often. Feel free to comment. If you think others would benefit please share this blog with others.