Category Archives: Overcoming Difficulty

You Need To Be In Charge Of Your Life! Are You?

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“The bottom line in personal change work is to realize who is driving your car. Are you the driver or someone else? If you don’t take control of your own mind and thinking process, and learn to control it, then someone else, from your past, is driving for you.

You are living and thinking and acting from previous old conditioning. You are living out old habitual life scripts reliably day in and day out. You only truly become free when you decide to take full responsibility for yourself. You become free when you take charge.

Re-condition your mind to be your servant instead of your master. Put it to work for you. Align your resources both inner and outer. Claim you life back. Assert your ability to be in charge and hold yourself accountable. This is where your freedom comes from!

When You Master Your Mind You Master Everything

No excuses, no blames, no whining or complaints. You own up to everything. If you are late it is because YOU are late. It is not because of traffic or weather or anything else. YOU could have left earlier but you didn’t. YOU are the reason YOU are late.

No harm no foul. Better luck next time if you are allowed another opportunity. Next time make sure you aren’t late. Make sure you are on time. This is how you learn and evolve. This is how you get your life back deliberately. You own up to it. You act in charge. You are!

Be fearless. Be certain. Be courageous and expect good to come your way. Enjoy and delight. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a day filled with smiles!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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How To Overcome Difficulties

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“Just because things are falling apart around you doesn’t mean you have to feel bad inside.

Just because everything is going to hell in a hand basket doesn’t mean you have to.

Just because everyone is jumping off a cliff doesn’t mean you should.

Just because there is a violent storm circling you doesn’t mean you have to be affected.

Be the eye of the hurricane instead.

Discover your inner peace. Go to your center. Breathe.  Live higher. Think higher. Act higher. Meditate. Reflect. Let go. Let the world do its thing around you. Stay steady. Focus on what you want. Remain positive. Determine to see it through. Persist. Be grateful.

Do it.

OR…

Don’t do it.

The choice is always yours.

Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

As you decide it will be it will be. Make your day marvelous!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Stop Reliving Nightmares And Start Live Your Dreams

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“Would you like more time? How about better times? Would you like to be happier and healthier? How would you like to make more money? Would you like that? Would you like to take your time back and spend it with loved ones and on leisure and fun activities?

Then there is one thing you must absolutely do. You must let go of the past. It is done and gone. It is water over the dam. The milk is already spilt. The deal is done. The loved one passed and gone. How many times have you heard, ‘you can’t bring them back’.

‘Don’t cry over spilt make.’ ‘What is done is done and you cannot change it’. For example, someone stole your car. Totaled it. You get paid. Criminal is caught and convicted. Right? It sucked. There is nothing you can do about the past. You cannot change it. Right?

The Way To Get Over The Past – Leave It Behind You

Imagine the event happened. The car stolen and totaled. The criminal is not caught and you are not paid. It didn’t change anything did it. The car being stolen is the same event. With the first one you probably feel a little better than the second  but what is different?

The only difference is what you think about it. How you feel. Different outcomes but the event is the same. You feel differently because you think something should or shouldn’t happen. Your thoughts, beliefs and expectations, your rules determine it.

Right? Am I right? The car is gone and you can’t change that. Gone forever. The convict sentenced or not and you are paid or not. You can’t change that, although maybe. You might not think the payment or the sentence fair. So what makes the events different?

You Can’t Start The Next Chapter If You Keep Re-reading The Last

Your thoughts. Bottom line what or how you think about the situation determines whether you feel it is just or unjust. Whether you get over it more easily or not. YOU determine YOUR present and future by WHAT YOU THINK about the PAST! Get it? I hope.

The pain you feel is caused by your own thinking. You may say, no it is caused but the result. You don’t like the result. Okay. Then what are you doing with the result? Are you thinking about it? How do you feel? It is your reaction to the result that determines it all. Doesn’t it?

Alright, in this post I will not tell you how to make more money BUT I will tell you that if you get your time back you have the opportunity to be happier, healthier and wealthier. Hope you are okay with this. Plenty of opportunity to discuss making money again later.

Grudges Are A Waste Of Perfect Happiness – Get Over It

People waste an enormous amount of time complaining about things they can’t change. The whine and blame and feel hurt and bad about things they can do nothing about. Still they can’t go back and change history. They’d be better off using their time in better fashion.

Don’t you think? Turn from the history you don’t like and promise to make your present and future better. Stop whining and crying over milk spilled  and learn to carry the milk better. Do whatever it takes so you are happier and healthier and wealthier than in the past.

Grieve when grieving is appropriate for as long as necessary. Mourn the loss. Celebrate a life. Eventually, move on. Two lives needn’t end because one transitioned.  The same is true regarding your major upsets and upheavals and disappointment and horrendous events.

Realize Your Past Is Just A Story – Begin To Tell A New Story

Get past them. You cannot change the historical moment but YOU can change how you think and feel about them. Yes, you may have to learn to do that, if you don’t know how, but you can learn anything, just as you learned to crawl, walk, speak, read and write if you have.

You can change your response to disappointment. Consider this. Some are very hot about these recent election results. It is true others have been hot in the past about other election results. Whatever was on election night and come what may, is what is.

How can you best spend your time? Is it feeling angry, hateful, vengeful? Is it reading one more article that the election was stolen or rigged or whatever? Some people do what to feel indignation I get that. They want to point out all that is wrong and crooked.

The Choice Is Always Yours And Yours Alone – No One Else’s

Still, it changes next to nothing if it changes anything at all. I am not saying don’t fight for change. Don’t try to do better next time. Do work to improve. Yes. Make a difference. I am not saying that. I am saying there are ways to use your time more constructively too.

Stop whining and blaming and start feeling hopeful and optimistic. Learn from the event and determine what positive things to do that may make a difference in the future. Do you understand what I am saying? You can proactively seek to make it better now and later?

Or you stay stuck in reacting to defeat and disappointment. Which gets you further along. I believe it is moving forward positively. It feels better and accomplishes more. Some only feel good when they feel bad. That is true too. Some want to suffer horrendously.

Breathe Out – Breathe In – Move – Repeat – Step By Step 

I don’t and if you don’t then learn to nip it. Decide if this is a positive use of your time. Think, Does this help me evolve positively? Does this help me be happier and healthier and wealthier? OR does it take me down into a spiral of despair? Which do you want? DECIDE!

Get it. every second is a moment you can decide. You are deciding by default if you aren’t consciously deciding. You are doing what you habitually do. You don’t get new results doing things the old way that didn’t work previously. Still some thing they will. They won’t.

How do you want to spend you time? Creating wealth or complaining about being broke? Getting healthier or complaining about your infirmities? Getting happier or focusing on negativity and what is wrong with you and the world? Well, which do you prefer?

If You Wait Until You Are Ready You’ll Wait The Rest Of Your Life

It is pretty cut and dry. You are either building a house or you are not. Get it? You are either building something positive or you aren’t. If you aren’t and you prefer to be then decide to do it and stick with your decision. Stop spending time doing what you don’t want.

Stop reacting to the woes of the world helplessly and start living positively. Stop wasting your time on things you cannot change. Stop wasting time feeling bad when you could be feeling good. Perhaps, this is why many people only live okay lives and aren’t fulfilled.

The spend more time crying over the milk spilt than drinking fresh new milk. Stop, do anything else than feel bad about things you can’t change. Take charge, take control and decide to spend your time wisely feeling wonderful, doing wonderful things and celebrate! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Why Bad Things May Happen To Positive Good People

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“Why does bad happen to good people? I switched posts today. I felt I needed to answer a pertinent question from a reader. Her question is one many may have. Her question and my answer follow. If you receive benefit from this blog, and any I post, please, share it so others might as well. Thanks. Enjoy.

Perception Is Not Reality But Your Thoughts Make It So

‘Lincoln, King & Gandhi were assassinated & Jesus was crucified. How do you explain their respective demise compared to their peaceful protests, their “love & compassion, acceptance, forgiveness & inspiration”. Was this in their thoughts also?? Of course I have an exception with Lincoln as he allowed the execution of Native Americans because they hunted off their reservation to feed their starving families as the government agent managing the reservation stole the food & sold it & at the same time writing the emancipation proclamation to free slaves. Just does not compute with me. Bridges collapsed with the bombs of assassination & crucifixion.’ Carol Ann

‘Yes, they faced great opposition. If you are asking did they also bring about their demise by harboring thoughts of it, I don’t know. I am not in their head and hearts. Perhaps, but perhaps not. Einstein stated that, ‘Great spirit must always contend with mediocre minds.’

Perhaps, that is more to the case. Perhaps not. However, it is likely that many reacted to their vision with hostility, making this probable. I don’t know. The answer I am most comfortable with others may not be. I don’t know that it is accurate.

That answer is, what is is.

It happened. Good things can happen to bad people and bad things can happen to good. It is what it is. As with anything and everything in life, something happens and our minds rush to assign a reason, an cause, an excuse, a blame or a complaint.

We react to events mostly from previous chronic habitual conditioning and neural wiring. We react. We can respond. We can learn we have choice. We can choose what we think and how it affects us. Most of us don’t.

Most don’t and sadly won’t because it requires effort to learn to create a ‘pause’ instead of behaving unaware. We have to create an awareness first and then choose how we will think and feel and act. It is possible and desirable to do so but fewer people will.

Once we create a pause we are free, freer, from that conditioning. We learn a new more supportive, useful habit. We wire in a new way to be. Accepting what is and being comfortable without having an answer is tough for many humans. Tougher for some than others.

It requires staying open, not knowing the reasons, not knowing the answers. It means not assigning anything to ‘what is’ but accepting it as ‘it is’. Our reasons, beliefs and assignments, our blames and complaints, as well as our productive, feel good ones are projections.

They aren’t truth. They are versions of possible answers. Potential answers, but are only fragments of all the possibilities. We have been conditioned to look for the single cause, the correct answer. There may or may not be any.

Nothing is wrong with our conditioning or our limitations, except that we mostly are unaware of the constraints that bind us. This is why waking up and becoming aware is important. We need to discover that whether answers are true or not they may be useful.

Rather than seeking truth, seek what the answer does. Does it support you or not? If it is supportive and uplifting great. If it is debilitating and harmful why chose it? I personally, believe awareness is mostly a matter of good taste.

Make wise choices that support us over less than glorious ones. Many make poor choices each moment. Learning how to do otherwise is part of our evolution. It is easier to fall into former chronic conditioning. We don’t have to think about it.

The old habits are the path of least resistance.

It is, at first, much more difficult to stay open and transcend that tendency. We can do it. We simply, first, need to become aware that we need to or want to do it. Awareness is the first step. Acceptance the second. We need to accept what is.

We accept what has been going on, and allow it. We need to accept we want to change. We need to bring our awareness to those moments and decide to be different. Usually, at first, it happens. Only later do we realize we thought and felt and behaved the same.

Eventually, we get quicker and quicker at noticing. At some point we manage to become aware ‘as’ it is happening and choose how to respond. We still need to remain open and accept whatever the outcome. Please realize I am using the word need.

We don’t need to do anything. It is desirable to do these things. we can do these things. Need is just another word. All of us choose whether we will or won’t. We are able to move ourselves forward, onward and upward.

That may mean having access to answers we otherwise wouldn’t or it may means answers aren’t so important. I do not know why things happen as they do. I don’t know if ‘the’ answer is accurate or not. I do not care. Is it useful. For me, it is useful but definitely not ‘true’.

There is no way I know whether it is true. I think we are all one with an infinite source of energy. We are the ocean. We are water. Whether together as the ocean or as individual drops on a side walk we are all ocean. Everything (including the sidewalk) is.

We have always been and always will be energy. The individual drops evaporate but remain. It goes back into the system. This energy is consciousness. Everything past, present, future, is. This energy allows for scenarios to play out for the ‘drop’s’ edification.

Struggles, hardship, disappoint, good times, family friends, enemies, ease and opposition are all aspects of it. The drop either becomes aware of this before evaporating or perhaps has some other opportunity.

Some versions of this think we go around once and a place awaits those afterward. Some of who believe that version believe the place is dependent on either a decision and relationship or on acts. A reward or punishment awaits.

Some believe the drops become new drops again and again until they no longer need to manifest as drops. Some believe nothing happens and it is over. Personally, I don’t know or care. I know, for myself at present, I am a drop and also much, more than a drop.

At some time this drop will evaporate. Form will change but energy will persist. I know as of now this is a reason, an answer, an explanation that may or may not be ‘true’. I allow for error. It is all okay. I am divine presence or energy as each of us are.

Whatever happens happens. What is is. How I live my life with love, joy, celebration is what moves me. I apologize I can’t provide a more definitive answer. I think there are laws to the universe that we attempt to understand and utilize if we are aware.

For example. We live on a very tiny globe in a vast expanding space. We are so very tiny yet we appear to ourselves somewhat large. We are huge compared to ants. Small compared to whales and elephants. Perception is everything. We see through a glass dimly.

The earth is spinning while revolving around a sun in s system that rotates as it expands outward into ‘gawd whatever is out there to expand into??’. I have no answer for this. It just appears to be what is based on what we believe we know from our human investigations.

Still there are seasons. There is day and night. There are ‘weather events’ as determined by us. Things happen. Things just are. ‘IS’. Day becomes night and night day. We go from season to season. Why? I don’t know. I only know I can utilize them.

I can plant seeds in one and harvest in another.

I can dress accordingly. I can enjoy or complain. It is what it is. How I respond determines how much joy I have or how much I miss. I hope in a small way I have answered your question. I do know, it is a question for which I have no answer.’

Your Boundaries are Determined By Your Perceptions And Beliefs

That was and is my answer to her, for now. It could change. I know there are people who will say so what, great answer or it sucks. Whatever they do they will do. I know there are people who fight over answers and go to war over issues.

People fight over what they believe. Perceptions are not ‘true’.

So no reader misconstrues: It is important to realize I am promoting what is good and positive. What can you do that benefits you and other humans? What expands and adds value to all of us Seek higher positive good. Love, accept more, create more peace.

Our Character Is Determined By Our Responses To Circumstances

I don’t feel the need to fight about it. I’d rather live and enjoy being the drop. I prefer to discover what I discover. Struggles, for me, are becoming more and more blessings. Opposition needn’t be feared or avoided or hated. Opposition can make us better and stronger.

The more I accept and say yes and allow the more I expand and become free and enjoy. The more I say no and attempt to exclude the more I  contract and feel less than glorious. Neither is ‘right’ or ‘true’ but one is more preferable for me. That is how or why I choose.

When and if I remember to be aware. It is much more likely I will be aware, and you will be, when filled with appreciation and gratitude for everything. When we delight and allow and accept in this fashion so much opens up for us. This is why I say celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make today a happy day for you and others!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

We All Need More Love

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“Love makes everyone feel much better. That may seem silly but it is true. Love makes people want to cooperate and get along. Love over hate is what helps people heal and move forward and do great things. Love brings people together rather than dividing them.

Why wish evil on anyone? Why hope someone fails? Why not, instead, hope the person, you have little respect for, surprises you? Why not encourage them with love? Embrace them and send them positive energy. Assist them by loving them. Why not?

The answers to ‘why’ and ‘why not’ will reveal much about our thinking. If we think we will lose something by being kind and loving then we aren’t apt to be. We need to realize that by loving we will gain more in return. We need to open the door to let love in.

Compliment People Magnify Their Strength Not Their Weakness

We need to be patient and kind and more understanding. We need to listen more and talk less. We need to build up rather than just tearing down. We can  learn this. Love is generous and helpful. Love is interested and curious. Love is accepting and seeks to include.

We should be more loving. Find more things to be grateful about. Practice gratitude. Teach gratitude. Share gratitude. Enjoy and delight in all. Look for the best. Look deeper if you must. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make your day glorious!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Don’t Let It Get You Down: How To Overcome Disappointment!

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“When things don’t work out as you had hoped take a deep breath. Find your center. Let go. Breath some more. Accept that it didn’t turn out the way you had hoped. It is as it is. Accept it. Yes, it may seem tough at first but it gets easier. Breath and let go. Accept.

Now determine what you do want. Decide to work to make it happen. Work for the change you want in the world. Work for the change you want in yourself. Make corrections and continue on. Adapt and adjust. Aim your ship at where you want to go.

If you can’t change what occurred work for the changes you can make happen. Step by step, bit by bit. Never lose hope because things didn’t work out as you had planned. Expect positive good to continue to come to you for the future. Allow for it. Receive it.

Disappointment Is God Saying I’ve Got Something Better For You

Attitude IS the edge that makes the difference. If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right. Keep the faith. Learn that challenges can be good. They help build character. One can discover inner resources not previously realized. Anything is possible.

Challenge is good. Opposition makes muscles grow. It is difficult to move outside one’s comfort zone sometimes agitation is required. There may be a greater good in your disappointment than you would ever realize had you easily gotten your way. Anything IS possible.

Never give up. If you quit you are done. If you attempt again you are in the process. You decide its worth. You determine the value. If it is important then keep going after it. There is nothing wrong with not getting the results you want. Work with the results you do get.

Holding Onto Anger – Drinking Poison Expecting The Other To Die

If you won’t do that then continue to pursue the results you want. Do it without blaming anything or anyone else. Don’t make excuses. Just do it. Make what you want to happen and be glad that you can. You will discover opportunities you never knew were there.

In struggle if you accept it you will find joy. Find the silver lining and focus on it. A master chess player wants a tougher opponent. Otherwise, the game is boring; the results are certain. Develop a ‘bring it on’ attitude and welcome challenge. You will accelerate your personal evolution. Especially if you celebrate everything!”

Live fully and enjoy your day!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

How To Get The Upper Hand On Bad Decisions PT 2

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“We are discussing how to get past chronic prior bad conditioning, habits, and move into positive new ways of being, freer and more resourceful. This blog is continued from the last. I share a couple approaches from the many participants engage in during workshops.

You can take two vantage points. One is you see yourself in your mental movie. You watch as if you are an actor on the movie screen performing the actions. You watch yourself before and after the trigger. You see yourself, the trigger the stop, calm and continue.

You view YOU behaving resourcefully. In this disassociated way of seeing you can act as a movie director would and make your mental movie screen more compelling by playing with the color, size of image, sound and other elements which contribute to your feelings.

We Are What We Repeatedly Do 

The other way is to see what you would be seeing through your own eyes. You don’t see yourself but you see the world around you. You see the other cars and drivers, the  world from your point of view. You see what you see as you do in everyday life looking forward.

Rehearse success from each vantage point. When you watch yourself going through it you would have the feelings a movie audience member would have watching a character go through the circumstances. Do you understand? You can ask questions of me.

Use comments and I’ll answer as best I can. In the other vantage point, looking through your own eyes, you’d feel how you feel actually going through it. Since it is rehearsal you may not feel all of it but you’d feel what it is like to some degree. Feel it fully.

Break Bad Habits And Make Better Ones

In this process you change what happens when you get triggered to react less than gloriously. In the movie screen version you watch yourself stop and then behave differently. In the through your eyes version you experience the trigger, feel it and alter it. Get it?

The instant you become aware that you are feeling or thinking or behaving less than gloriously you must STOP! Pause and choose to behave differently. Behave as you prefer to behave. In repeating the mental exercise again and again you are rehearsing what you WANT.

Stop mentally rehearsing what you do NOT want. That is how you have been living and getting what you don’t want. Focus on what you DO want. Is it difficult to change the old habit? Of course, habits can be  tough to break at first.

Small Daily Improvements Are The Key To Great Results

To break it you bring awareness to the moment; become aware of what sets it off. It may seem difficult to do at first trying to notice the moment prior to reacting less than gloriously. It is likely you will blow through it many times but keep at it.

Eventually, you will notice sooner. You will get quicker at it. Your awareness will increase and you will be able to slip into that gap and divert the energy. No one can say how soon this will happen so you have to commit to sticking with it. Don’t give up keep at it.

Eventually, you will gain the upper hand. Mastery of anything, any skill, talent, behavior takes application, attention and practice. Repeated, correctly over a long enough period of time is how skills are developed. Even getting angry at traffic is a learned response.

Drop By Drop The Tub Fills – Awareness Is The Key To Change

In this process you learn to bring awareness to the trigger prior to being flooded with neuro-chemicals and impulses. As soon as you are aware of the changes you stop and take that deep breath interrupting the pattern you originally learned.

Interrupt it enough. Divert it with useful behavior you’d prefer to engage in and soon you will have developed new habits. It may take a little time so be patient. The more committed your are to learning the new behaviors the easier and quicker they will take hold.

Appreciate the process. I am sharing one of a number of approaches you can utilize to make changes. As always practice gratitude and positivity.  Fill your life with celebration. Enjoy the process because you can make some powerful changes. Enjoy celebration and celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

What will you do to have a glorious day?

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

How To Get The Upper Hand On Bad Decisions

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“Okay, are you ready for some tough love. I know some people won’t like what I am about to say, while others will heartily agree. I think it needs to be said. Some people don’t like to hear things but the bottom line is we don’t know what we don’t know. We can’t.

I may make this two parts. I don’t know, nor can I know, what it is that I don’t know, given my present state of awareness. I can’t connect the dots forward but I can after the fact, go back and see how they lead up to this moment. But I can’t know in advance.

SO whether you want to hear this or not, perhaps you need to. I need to that is for certain. So what is good for the goose is good for the gander, right? I share this because I think it is one of the main reasons people have difficulty in their lives. Ready, here goes.

Good Decisions Come From Experience

If your life is crap it is because you ALREADY, outside of you own awareness, decided it is crap. The decision was made for you, by you, out of old chronic conditioning. Your very own habits determined how you would react. They’ll determine how you react to this blog.

You (we) react before you (we) have any awareness of what was happening. That is how the brain works. It learns to do things and then it does them automatically. Something internal or external triggers a programs and away it goes. It runs on and on.

Until or unless something happens to alter it or stop it, it does what it LEARNED to do.  Habits are wired in. There are good habits and good programs that run a lot of your life. There are other habits many might label less than glorious. Many of these run your life too.

Experience Comes From Bad Decisions – Learn From Everything

For example, getting very mad because traffic is ‘bad’. You don’t have to. Some people don’t, but, you do, (IF you do)  because that is what you’ve always done. Somewhere, at sometime, you reacted that way enough until it became a reliable neural highway in your head.

Chemicals squirt and electric impulses fire off in a particular sequence and voila’ ROAD RAGE! It is reliable. It is automatic. It happens fast. It happens every time. You live with road stress. You’d prefer not to but you haven’t changed it, yet. It is reliable!

If this occurs day and night, to work and back this is NO way to spend your time. It is no way to spend your time in a car. Some people don’t stop there. They recount the story, feeling stressed each time they do, multiple times throughout the day.

You Are Not A Product Of Circumstances But Of Decisions

Some people are worse at this than you are, but many others are far better. They aren’t bothered at all about traffic. They travel to and from places hardly ever getting ruffled for even a little bit. For some others it may be a mild nuisance. Annoying but they let it go.

The only way to change it IS to change it. You have to get inside and make a new decision before the old one fires off.  BUT how on earth can you do that? How do you extinguish the chronic behavior? You have to teach the brain ‘Not That’ but ‘This’ instead.

You have to train your brain to NOT DO THAT but to do this other thing instead. You have to shift from rage to relaxed. HOW? Awareness is the key. Since you can’t stop it before the trigger results in a flood of electro-chemical activity you must catch it.

The Most Important Decision You Make Is To Be In A Good Mood

You must catch it shortly afterwards. The sooner the better. SO you must become sensitized to what sets it off. You must know the trigger. You must know the trigger point. You learn what this is by deciding to change it. That is the first step. You make a decision.

Then you bring awareness to the situation. You begin to plan. ‘When that occurs I’ll do this instead.’ You can really benefit from visualization here. Imagine the situation that sets the sequence off. As you begin to see and feel yourself go into the old behavior, STOP.

Imagine yourself creating a pause. STOP, see yourself take a deep breath. TAKE ONE! Or two or three. Imagine yourself being aware that as it starts you stop it by changing your breathing. Visualize this again and again. You stop, breath and watch yourself shift.

To Change Your Life You Must Change Your Habits

Watch yourself calm down and behave differently. See yourself behave how you want to behave. You stop, calm, and drive normally. You stay calm and relaxed, but attentive and alert to the driving process. You imagine being how you want to be at that moment.

You rehearse the behavior again and again in your mind. There are two perceptual vantage points to take and I have just described one. I’ll describe the other in the next blog. For now you can practice this with any issue you would like to change. Practice on something mild.

It is always wise to choose something that is not to emotionally significant or overpowering at first. Learn the process, get good at it before moving on to more emotionally charged issues. This is wise practice. Take baby steps leading up to bigger change.

Replace Your Negative Thought Habits With Positive Ones

Practice making the changes. Practice your feeling gratitude. Begin and end each day and each practice session looking for this to feel grateful about and express your appreciation for these. Feel it fully and enjoy and delight int he feelings. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a glorious day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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A Method For Getting Over Any Fear You Have

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“My recent blog, ‘ A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights’ includes a powerful approach for making changes. For decades I have successfully helped people use this to get over fear of heights, flying, getting out of their house after years shut in, meeting people and many other irrational fears. People can change.  So can you!

Fear is good. Pain is good. It is only a signal that we should pay attention to. When fear becomes immobilizing for an everyday activity that most people engage in, then it is worthwhile addressing and overcoming it. Most fears can be readily dismissed quite easily.

While I use a myriad of approaches and methods I shared one incredibly effective approach so that you, or anyone, could begin using it to overcome limitations of any kind. What works for fear of heights works in other situations as well. Use it. Yes, use it!

Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

The key to being more effective in your life is gaining control over your own thinking process and emotions. Sometimes that means reigning in thoughts and feelings that are wildly flooding us. It is a tad more difficult after the flooding occurs than prior to it.

This means you can learn it as a preventive measure. You can learn it in advance of when you need it. You can practice and make habits those thoughts, feelings and actions when you aren’t pressured by taking the time to train them to work in your behalf.  Practice!

Preparation is a huge part of any endeavor. If you want to be able to do things more easily and live the kind of life free from worry and fear then take the time to learn how to do it right now. Practice. Act as if you already have made the change and are living as you want.

What We Want To Do With Ease We Must First Do With Diligence

ACT AS IF. Notice how good that feels. Notice the thoughts you have. Feel this fully and think the thoughts repeatedly. Condition your mind and body to work for you instead of against you. It is only doing what it has learned to do in the past, for whatever reasons.

Now train it to do what you want it to do instead. It will learn the new way too. Be patient and take the time to learn and condition yourself. Body shaping, food management, learning to sew or play basketball all take time. Be patient and expect the best. Visualize.

Support and encourage yourself. If you wish, get some training, get a coach or mentor, however, you can do this with a friend or on your own. Take your time and learn thoroughly. Enjoy the process of making changes. Control your mind and feelings. Affirm! Declare!

Correct Repetition Is The Mother Of Skill – Learn To Use It 

The benefits are beyond belief. You can’t yet imagine how wonderfully your life will change for the good, and it will when you take the appropriate action. Then, in time, step by step you will begin to notice how much more delightful everything is all around .

Change can be fun and easy. Inertia, getting up off the coach or out of our comfort zone, is what prevents most people. That, and that they don’t think change is possible for them. I am here to tell you it is absolutely possible. Don’t believe me. Prove it to yourself! You can!

You absolutely can! Start feeling gratitude for everything. Even your outrageous fear that has attempted to keep you safe. Be thankful for everything. Express your gratitude for your ability to change and for the changes you have made and will make. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How delightful will you make your day today?

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights

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“Some people fear heights. Some don’t. What do you suppose makes the difference between those who fear something and those who don’t? Don’t you think it must be how they use their minds? Some use it for fear some do not. They must use their minds differently.

‘I am afraid of heights’. Yup, keep repeating that to yourself and see how quickly you are able to get over it. You won’t change as long as you keep telling the same story over and over! As long as you keep reaffirming what you fear you get to keep it for as long as you do.

But you say, that is my reality. Yes, and it doesn’t have to be!

YOU keep it your reality by retelling it AS reality. IF you want your life to change YOU have to change SOME THINGS in your life. You must affirm what you WANT not what you don’t want. ‘I am calm and comfortable. I stay peaceful and centered. I enjoy this.’

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t – You Are Right

‘I enjoy different views’. ‘I can look and feel safe. I am confident.’ If you keep saying you are scared or terrified you remain scared and terrified. People perpetuate their fears and what they are frightened of over and over again. STOP IT! Doesn’t this make sense to you?

If it does, you can change. You CAN change almost any reaction or response you have. You need to stop telling yourself and others the same old thing. You need to put this old story to rest. Quit it! Stop telling the story of what you don’t want and of how you are broken.

Start telling yourself and others the way you want it to be. Imagine yourself free and able. Stop making pictures of falling and make pictures of standing comfortably and enjoying it. See yourself confident and calm. See yourself as you’d like to be. Imagine THIS!

Skill To Do Comes Of Doing – Drop By Drop The Tub Fills

Imagine looking through the eyes of someone (you) who is able to enjoy heights. Imagine looking out and feeling calm and feeling wonderful. Get the feeling of being safe and secure because you truly are. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Relax. Calm.

Feel confident and calm. Feel centered. Feel grounded. Feel safe. Feel AS IF you can do this. Feel secure. Feel comfortable. Get a sense of the feelings you want to have more of. Wrap those feelings around you. Feel them fully. Imagine feeling great doing new things.

Seek what you want and you can have it. Stop affirming what you don’t want. Quit living the way you wish you wouldn’t and start living the way you wish you would. Focus on what you want. Stop focusing on what you do not want. Drop it. Let it go. Get over it!

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You 

Be wise about everything. Take it bit by bit. Gradually expose yourself to greater heights. Inch by inch, step by step. You don’t have to go any faster than you maintain feeling comfortable. Learn to anchor those positive resourceful feelings for yourself.

Get comfortable prior to moving up. Have a trusted buddy with you. Ease into it. You can do this. You absolutely can. Be safe and don’t take unnecessary risks. Stay behind the safety rails and in the appropriate areas. You can do this. Think ‘I can’ instead of I can’t.

Repeated exposure to a fear tends to diminish it over time. Keep at it. Repetition is the mother of skill. Correct repetition, for a long enough time makes the skill a habit. Develop the habit of being comfortable at any height. You can. Take your time and ease into it.

The More We Do – The More We Can Do

Feel grateful that your fear was there to keep you safe. Realize that ‘great fear’ is an over reaction to some things many people can comfortably do. When it is an unreasonable reaction to being at safe heights then perhaps you want to change it. Thank yourself.

Be grateful you look out for yourself even if you over react. Thank yourself. Appreciate yourself. Think, ‘Thanks and I want to do new things, explore new heights and continue to be safe. I will be prudent and wise. Let’s do this.’ Enjoy exploring and adventuring in new ways.

Find ways to delight yourself. Use motivating thoughts, messages, and music to stay resourceful. See yourself changing in your mind’s eye and being able to comfortably do that which you want to do. Feel how good it feels to be free and able to do it.

If You Really Want To Do It You’ll Find A Way – If Not – An Excuse

Notice these sensations. Pay attention to the sensations that feel good. Notice where in your body you feel them the strongest. Really feel these. Remember them. Anchor them. Lock them in for yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. Enjoy learning to do new things and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

It is a new day. A new moment.  Celebrate it!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!