Category Archives: Overcoming Difficulty

Attitude, Deliberate Creators, Intentional Thinking, Overcoming Difficulty

Expert Reveals: How To Stop Failing And Start Succeeding Happily!

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“How is it we make changes to overcome difficulties and move in positive directions? What must we do to eliminate the self doubt and the negative feelings? How do we keep going and changing instead of giving up and quitting. It is actually quite simple.

Welcome to Part 14 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. The series continues. Hope you are enjoying it. Feel free to comment. Part 15 tomorrow. Let’s go!

We use the very same method we were first programmed by. Instead of less than glorious messages and feelings we now deliberately provide it the positive messages we wish we would have gotten the first time around.

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

Yes, we can change any thought, feeling or behavior. We can change and learn to get better, positive more successful results in our life. It is simple and most of the time it is easy. It is not easy all the time. It takes application and dedication.

You can’t quit and expect things to be any different. They won’t be. They will be the same as always because your brain will insure you remain consistent. With dedication and perseverance, however, there comes that tipping point you can take advantage of.

There will come that time when the old gives way to the new. Keep going. Yes, you have arrived and you have to keep going! Once you arrive at the tipping point it will get easier and easier because you create momentum for change. Change is easier and faster then.

Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You’re Right

If you have ever changed residences you may have found yourself taking the route back to the old residence shortly after your move. Your brain knew the old way and wants to keep taking it at first, until your brain learns and remembers the new one.

You don’t lose or forget the previous address you just now know to go to the new one instead. You still have a choice which to go to. As you learn new behaviors your choices increase. Your talents and abilities increase. You upgrade yourself and up-level your life.

Why do most people fail? They quit. It is over and done. They make excuses, blame themselves, others and the world. Or they don’t take the first step. THE VERY FIRST STEP  we all need to take to do better and guarantee our success is to take control of our mind.

You Become What You Think About Most Often

This missing first step IS why so many fail to change. Attitude and mindset, what you think and believe, determine what you feel and the kind of actions you take and the type of results you get. It all begins with the appropriate mindset. Most don’t prepare well.

That is why Henry Ford said,  ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are right!’ Condition your mind for change. Prepare the soil for planting and harvesting the seeds. Get control of your thoughts and feelings. Develop a powerful basis for change.

Positive thinking is not wishful thinking it is powerful thinking. Those who say ‘and this is not positive thinking’ as if thinking positive is a bad thing are wrong! Your mind is the one thing you can control for certain in this life. You either think negative or positive.

You Get What You Focus On

If you don’t like the results you are getting in your life right now realize there will not be any change if you don’t change your thinking. Your brain will insure things remain the same for you to be consistent. You will continue to do what you have always done.

You will get what you have always got! That is the truth. That is the way it is.  You won’t be different unless you think different things. Your life won’t be more positive and better unless you think more positive and better things. Want to change? Change your thinking!

If you want it to be different in the future you must think things differently now. You are where your thoughts brought you tomorrow you will be where your thoughts today take you. Right now you are where you are because of previous, prior thinking.

Whatever You Nurture Is What Tends To Grow

If today’s thoughts are the same as those yesterday and the day before and the day before that, well then, you will get what you have always got. Most of us THINK we think lot’s of different thoughts. Research states we think mostly the same thoughts again and again.

Yes, there is some variation. Life circumstances change, we learn new info and have different discussions BUT we react mostly the same. We think the same things, the same way, we say the same things in different conversations, we don’t change much.

We are habitual, reliable and routine. We think, feel, say, act and do the same things over and over most of the time but we think we are freely thinking and acting differently. We are not. We are on automatic and very robot like. Sad, but it is true. We are automated.

Old Habits Die Hard – But They Do Die

Do you get it yet? If you want things to be different change your thinking. That is the first step. When you change your thinking your feelings will change in alignment to what and how you are thinking. To be truly different you have to think truly different.

If your life isn’t what you want it to be it is because of your thinking and acting it is not the government, the weather, your parent’s fault even if you think it is. Even if they were contributing factors unless you take responsibility and think and do differently it’ll be the same.

If you don’t like the results you have been getting you need to change your thoughts and what you focus on. You need to get your energy and attention moving in a different direction.  You must realize and accept this first in order for change to begin.

You Can Do Anything When You Learn How

Negative thoughts produce negative feelings. Positive thoughts produce positive feelings. Negative thoughts rarely make you feel happy and successful. Positive thoughts can contribute to you feeling happy and successful. It is a choice you have to make.

What do you want more of? To get more of what you want is dictated by where you spend most of your time. If you want to be happy but are mostly negative you will not be happy. Do you understand this? If you want to be happy you must think happy.

You must spend most of your time thinking and feeling and saying and doing that which brings happiness about. It doesn’t work any other way. People think something will happen and then they will be happy. It doesn’t, and if it does occasionally it is temporary only.

If You Always Do What You Always Did …

Lottery winners are happy for a short while but most of them return to the lifestyle prior to winning the lottery. Broke! Why? Because their habits don’t change. They spend as they always did. They think as they did when they weren’t rich.

They return to their conditioning. Temporarily, they got a big bump. Their happiness meter went up with their bank account. Sadly, they both plummet pretty soon. WHY? Because they aren’t in charge of their happiness or wealth. They aren’t in charge of their thinking.

If you want to be different you must think, feel and act different long enough for it to become habit. If you learned successful thinking and money management strategies, learned to feel and live wealthy, then, if you won the lottery you would be better prepared to keep it.

… You Will Always Get What You Always Got

Otherwise, it is likely you’d end up like the rest. The odds are in favor of returning to the previous life style. If mind set doesn’t change you don’t change. If you want to be happier don’t wait to be happy, don’t expect it to come from the outside. Begin now within.

Take hold of your thinking and do what is necessary to get it under control. Take charge. Think positive repeatedly. Read positive books. Surround yourself with positive people and mentors. Chant powerfully, positive, inspiring affirmations. Take action inside!

When you feel in charge and on top of the world, and you feel as if you can accomplish anything because you believe in yourself and your ability to learn whatever is necessary to succeed, then the magic happens. It really does happen, only its not magic.

The Definition Of Insanity Is Doing The Same Thing …

Then you begin to take the right actions that make success much more likely. It is mindset first and feelings follow. Your feelings determine your actions and your actions determine your results. That is the way it is. Repeat after me. Seriously, repeat it.

Mind to feelings. Feelings to actions. Actions to results. That is the cycle. If your mind is positive you get positive feelings and take positive actions which leads to better results. Then you feel good again as you acknowledge the results of your actions.

Feeling good makes you want think positive and feel even better. This cycle spirals upward, do you get it? The more you do the more you can do. You continue to bring about positive thoughts, feelings, actions and results because they add to each other.

… Over and Over Again But Expecting A Different Result

What if you get some not so good results or obstacles? You learn from them, take the feedback, adjust whatever it is you need to, your thoughts, feelings or actions and continue on again, repeating as necessary, until you get what you wanted. You don’t quit.

The opposite side of the spiral up equation is true, too, and you could spiral downward. That is what far too many are already doing. They use the same formula I am proposing but negatively. So they screw themselves up and out of good things.

They have been doing this forever. They can learn to do things differently but they must want to. They must first become aware  and become willing to change. Then they need to do what you and I need to do. Make the changes. Take action and follow through.

The More You Do The More You Can Do

You don’t have to live in the dark side. Walk in the light. Take control of your thoughts and feelings. Take charge and be in control. Stop blaming yourself and start appreciating yourself for all the cool things your brain does for you. It truly is marvelous. Make it a friend!

Beyond beating your heart, circulating your blood, filling your lungs and a myriad of other beneficial things it does for you it helps you win or lose depending on what you  tell it to do. If you aren’t getting the results you want you aren’t speaking the language it does.

I have shared that language in this blog site. Throughout the pages here, search, affirmations, Directed Questions™, visualization, go back through and re-read on Intentional Thinking and becoming a Deliberate Creator. Study this blog site to learn and to change!

Whatever You Want To Do With Ease … 

Learn the brains language and use it. Your subconscious has to ‘get it’ and ‘know’ what you want in order to carry out what you want. You can speak all day to a waiter in a language the waiter doesn’t understand and what is the likelihood you will get what you desire?

Speak your brains language. Positive self talk AND positive feelings is how it understands. It is the FEELINGS you feel most often and the strongest the brain responds to most. You have to begin feeling things, even when you don’t, to signal the brain to respond.

That is the trick to learning control. You have to learn to do it, in some cases, by sheer force of will, in order to begin making it a habit. For example. Motivation comes from doing. You don’t feel like doing something, anything, like cleaning your room, so you never will.

… You Must First Learn To Do With Diligence

You wait and wait but don’t feel like it. However, if you start cleaning your room, even though you don’t feel like it at first, once you begin you are more likely to continue. The motivation comes from beginning the process. Sometimes you don’t feel a certain way.

You wake up feeling dumpy and down. Get up, stand up, chant your powerful affirmations, jump up and down if you have to. Laugh, sing, giggle, do whatever it takes, to change your emotional state from down to up. When you do this YOU ARE IN CHARGE!

You took control, you changed what you were thinking and feeling and doing by chanting your new positive thought affirmations and doing whatever it took to feel good while chanting. THAT is taking charge. The more you do it the more the habit will develop.

If You Really Want To Do Something You Will Find A Way …

You want to develop the habit of being in charge of your thoughts, your feelings and actions. THEN you will get better results. BUT you must first learn to make this a habit. If you do not everything will remain as it is. You won’t be in charge everything else will be.

DO you understand this? The powerful uplifting emotions you generate while chanting the affirmations IS what the brain recognizes most. Then it thinks ‘OH This is what you want, I get it ‘ and it looks for matches. It produces more! Like attracts like.

Get it? You have to initiate and maintain the process until the brain gets it. It learns from extreme emotions negative or positive. If you want more positivity and happiness in your life then you must provide those to your brain to begin with.

… If You Don’t You Will Find An Excuse

There are two dogs fighting inside you? Said the old man. ‘Two dogs live within you and are constantly fighting.’ ‘Which one wins”‘ asked the young boy. ‘Whichever one you feed.’ was the reply. What are you feeding your brain? Positivity or Negativity. YOUR choice!

You must continue the process until the brain gets it. Just like learning to ride a bike, or anything you have learned to do. You use spaced correct repetition through time. You do the correct things repeated over and over long enough until it becomes habit.

If you don’t feel like learning to ride a bike you most probably never will. So you won’t develop the habit of bike riding. To become a  bike rider you must first make yourself feel like doing it, you must put yourself in the mood. You must think you enjoy it or need it to do it.

You Go Wherever Your Thoughts Take You

You may need to pump yourself up at first. You might have to do that military boot camp style ‘HooHAA’ until you do it. Chant, use discipline, get a tough love coach who will get in your face until you do. Think the thoughts ‘I am a fabulous bike rider,’ ‘I love this!’

Because unless you actually eventually get on the bike you will never learn how to do it. You must motivate yourself since it is unlikely anyone else would bother. If you wait to be inspired you will wait forever. YOU take charge if it is something you want.

DO you understand this example? Everything begins and ends with you! Not in a narcissistic egotistical way but in the way that matters if you want better results in your life. If you want to be happier, healthier, wealthier, enjoy more loving relationships and more.

Thoughts Are Things

Affirmations and visualization with powerful positive emotions are the way you program the brain. Repeat and repeat. Keep going and don’t quit. You will get there eventually. How long? Who knows but you will. Enjoy the journey along the way. Attitude is everything!

Enjoy the journey because many wonderful things will become available to you as you progress. Keep your eye on the prize but also notice all the other cool things going on around you as you make your changes. Appreciate everything. Have fun! Enjoy it all!

Align with yourself, be respectful of you and your subconscious. Love all of you even when it seems in conflict. Pat yourself on the back either way. You did whatever you did. If you screwed up so what? Stop the judgements. Carry on positively. Learn to let go.

Drop By Drop The Tub Gets Full – Skill Comes Of Doing

When in conflict seek to communicate and co-operate not fight and negate. Don’t add insult to injury instead create harmony. Work together for a change. Get it? Work together for a change! Great things are in store for those who will. Open your eyes to take it all in.

Your beliefs determine what you see. In order to find and see good things believe they are there. Think, ‘there is so much good all around me, I wonder how soon I can more fully delight and begin to appreciate the incredible opportunities that surround me right now?’ Yes, useDirected Questions™ AND count your blessings. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a blessed day?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Creating The Future, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

Don’t Buy Into The Myth Of Self Sabotage!

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“There  is no such thing as self sabotage. The brain only does what it learns to do.  Some one labeled this activity as sabotage but it truly isn’t. It is a blessing not a curse. It just doesn’t seem like one at times.

Welcome to Part 12 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. The series continues and this post continues from the previous two. Part 13 tomorrow. Let’s go!

Believe me you want the brain to do what it does the way it does it. It has learned  to do all sorts of wonderful things. Positive beneficial things and useless and negative things. The brain learns!

Success Is Not The Key To Happiness …

The brain is a learning machine designed to keep you alive. It takes care of your survival. It creates neural pathways and then runs those neural pathways thus establishing habits so you don’t have to relearn everything again and again.

Those habits are what it learned to do. When you want to change one your brain goes into survival mode. Not full fledged fight or flight necessarily, but for some people the feelings may be intense.

It opposes the change because what it is doing IS what it learned to do. It continues to assert the old habits while you are attempting to add in the new. Because of this conflict you or someone else labels it self-sabotage. Nothing could be further from the truth.

… Happiness Is The Key To Success

It is not trying to sabotage you. It is trying to keep you successfully doing what you have always done. The issue is NOW you have decided what you learned long ago doesn’t serve you and you want to change. YOU are changing the way things worked.

In order to make changes you now want, you need to do the very same things you did when you originally learned the programming you now don’t want. You need to condition your brain in the same fashion as your earlier conditioning  but with positive updates.

How?  By repetition and powerful emotion. Early on you were influenced by others, and by their emotions as well as your own. They gave you suggestions day in and day out. They didn’t consider them suggestions they just talked to you and in front of you.

The Capacity To Learn Is A Gift

You listened, you heard, you heard them over and over and you adopted them. Sometimes, because you were emotional and sometimes because they were. You took on their ways of viewing and approaching the world. We all did it similarly.

Many messages we got were how tough things are, how hard we must work, that some people are lucky while others aren’t etc. We got a variety of self-limiting messages that resulted in our beliefs and attitudes about ourselves and the world.

Some people believe lies.

If you think, ‘I am stupid’, ‘I am not good enough’, I am too fat’, ‘I am useless’, ‘I can’t do it’, ‘I always screw things up’, ‘I am not worthy’, ‘I have to work harder’, ‘The economy prevents me from getting ahead’, ‘If only my parents had taught me better’, ‘I’m not educated’.

The Ability To Learn Is A Skill

Those sample thoughts are all lies. Yet, many people believe them. Why? because they adopted them while growing up. None of them necessarily are true or accurate but they will limit you if you accept them as true. You don’t have to believe them but you do.

That is the conditioning. It is not the mind trying to sabotage you. You could just as easily with just as much or little effort believe, ‘I can do anything I learn to do’, ‘I am capable’, I am worthy’, I am smart’, ‘Nothing can prevent me from reaching my dreams’.

But most people don’t. Why? Because they weren’t conditioned to believe this way growing up. The brain can learn either belief, it doesn’t care or judge. It just accepts them as is. Most people are stuck, not because they have to be, but because they believe the wrong beliefs.

The Willingness To Learn Is A Choice

They believe lies about themselves. They accepted them as gospel and they do nothing about it. They don’t like it necessarily and it may be uncomfortable but they believe that is who they are. They don’t realize they have a choice, UNTIL they realize they have a choice.

Here is the thing. All beliefs are lies. Positive or negative. The question is which do you choose to believe? They are either supportive or unsupportive. Which do you choose to believe? It is your choice.

This is how we go through life. We are born, get conditioned, accept that conditioning, have some experiences that verify that conditioning and lock it in. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) part of the brain is designed to do that. It finds matches.

Believing In Yourself Is The First Key To Success

Its job, beyond helping us survive, is to find a match. You say, ‘I am stupid’ and your brain goes ‘right you are’! ‘AND HERE IS WHY’ and provides you examples of screw-ups and incidents from your past and present that verify it. It looks for examples to prove you right.

Had you said, ‘I am marvelous’ your brain would look for those matches and find them just as readily. Even now you and I can say either and get matches. Most people get more of one type than they other because that is what they are most used to looking for.

Sad isn’t it. We want to change and it seems our own system prevents us. It doesn’t do it for nefarious reasons it does that for our protection and for keeping us consistent. We know who we are, what we believe and value. We will even argue about it.

It Is What We Think We Know That Keeps Us From Learning

We will fight to prove we are stupid, if we say it, and fight to prove we aren’t if someone else calls us that. Well, usually, sometimes we may agree. The point is we don’t have to believe any of these limiting beliefs we just do out of habit. We can be free of them if we choose.

Here is what it comes down to. After years of living with limitations we decide we want to change these. We know if we don’t change we will always do what we always did and continue to get the same old results we have been getting. Right? Unless we change.

That is what the brain is designed to do. To continue to get you the same results again and again reliably. You want it that way. You don’t want to walk through the door one day and into the wall the next. You want to get the same results day and night.

If You Are Not Willing To Learn No One Can Help You

NOW you want different results. So you make up your conscious mind to change. You want to lose weight or gain weight. Stop eating certain foods or begin trying new ones. You want to change your attitude. You want to feel better. You want more money.

Whatever it is you have decided you will change it. You may or may not think it will be hard to change, but sadly, most people go into it thinking it is going to be tough. It doesn’t have to be, but it is BECAUSE old habits die hard. Precisely, what you want. Remember?

You don’t want them to die off easily or the new ones wouldn’t stick either. You want it to be tough in actuality you just don’t want it to be tough for you. Am I right or am I right? You prefer it easy, yes? I understand. So do I.

If You Are Determined To Learn No One Can Stop You

In order for it to be easier you know it may take some time but you should think, ‘I can do this. It will be easy. Easy or not I will do this’. If you think it will be easy, while it may be difficult, it will be easier than if you think, ‘oh my god this is soooooo hard’. Get it? Read it again.

Your mind set determines how you go through or endure anything. Mindset, your attitude, determines 99.9% of your success and how you feel while attaining it. You want to learn to feel good no matter what. It is easier to change when you are feeling good.

If, when you begin to make the change the old habits rear up and you get upset, screw up, drop off, and decide, ‘It is too hard to change, I will never do it.’ You most probably won’t. That is a defeatist attitude for certain. Can’t throw in the towel and expect success.

Winners Have Simply Formed The Habit Of Doing Things … 

If you think, ‘I want to do it but I keep sabotaging myself’ that is as wrong to do as if you punched yourself hard in the face. You are labeling protective, survival processes your brain engages in to insure your success as sabotage. You are insulting your very self.

You are putting up additional opposition to your own ability to learn and grow. Instead of saying,’my brain is wonderful and keeps me alive and consistent’, you are saying ‘my brain is screwing with me. It sabotages me and prevents me’. Your emotions are conflicted.

Your thoughts are negative. You are not helping yourself. You are making excuses for not continuing and blaming yourself at the same time. Some people LOVE LOVE LOVE to blame themselves. They say things like ‘You don’t understand I sabotage myself!’

… Losers Never Do – Be Diligent And Win

‘You don’t understand I am chemically addicted’. ‘You don’t understand…’ as if their problems are the most significant ones in the world. No one has problems they do. They wear these as a badge of honor. They are proud they are unable. They suffer so.

They are good people and guess what? They learned to be that way. They learned to defend their unwillingness to change and blame it on anything and everything. They learned to feel good about feeling bad. It is habit for them. Yes, they can change it. Of course they can.

Tomorrow I’ll share how to change that. I give you some pointers in how you can eliminate self-sabotage for good. So be sure to read the next blog. Share too if you know people who could benefit. In the meantime, learn to be grateful for how you work. You work perfectly even when you don’t like the results you get. Love yourself.

Change Is The Result Of All True Learning

You can learn to change and get different results. So hang in there. But make it easy on yourself by loving yourself and appreciating how you already work. You change easier and more readily through acknowledgement and validation than through negativity and pain. Be grateful and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How will you make each moment marvelous today?

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Creating The Future, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence

How To Overcome Failure And Maximize Your Success

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“We grow stronger the more we are challenged. Our minds grow stronger the more we use them just as our muscles do. Both atrophy when not used for lengths of time. Use it or lose it is how it is. We must challenge ourselves and grow through opposition.

Welcome to Part 11 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. The series continues and this post continues from yesterday. I hope you found the first 10 parts valuable. Ready, let’s go. Part 12 tomorrow.

We must grow mentally and physically, emotionally and spiritually. Whenever you begin to change anything, a belief, a behavior, an old habit, all of your old chronic past habitual conditioning and programming rears up. You feel resistance.

Failure Is A Part Of Life – If You Don’t Fail You Don’t Learn …

Some call it paradigms. Our old conditioning is doing what it is supposed to do. Those who don’t know any better call it self-sabotage. You never self-sabotage yourself! You do what you were trained to do! In order to change you have to change your training.

The instant you begin your new training you encounter the old patterns and programs asserting themselves. That is because that is what you previously learned to do. Until you learn the new way it will feel difficult. The old way will continue to exert its influence.

For awhile, it will be difficult. Soon enough, with routine practice and dedicated application, you will overcome the old conditioning and the new conditioning will take hold. You will make the changes you want. Once the new way takes hold it will be just as reliable.

… If You Don’t Learn You Don’t Change

Believe me you want it to be like this! You don’t want the old to give way too easily. If it did you’d be screwing things up every other week. You want the things you learn to be difficult to change for consistency. The brain is smarter than we think.

People who don’t know any better call this process self-sabotage, as if a part of you is trying to thwart your progress. It isn’t! It is remaining your loyal and faithful friend by resisting the new ways. It is preserving what you previously learned to do.

It attempts to keep you consistent. It is a blessing not a curse! Even if what you learned, way back then, was unwanted and not your choice, you learned it and have operated from it. Your brain didn’t care if it was positive or negative, that isn’t its job to decide.

Failure Is Part Of Success – Don’t Worry About Failure …

Its job is to learn and carry out whatever it is programmed to do. To be reliable so you don’t have to keep relearning it every day. It builds reliable pathways to follow. It creates habits. This is WHY habits are difficult to break at first. This is why it seems difficult to change.

BUT it only seems that way. Change can be easier or harder depending on your mental mindset about it. AND GUESS WHAT? Your mindset is habitual too. How you view change is how you learned to view it at another previous time. AHHHHH get it?

This is why changing your mindset and learning to control your thinking is SO CRITICAL because it is habitual too. If it doesn’t support you how you want it to then you must change it. It will keep doing what it always did until you change it. Understand?

… Worry About The Chances You Miss When You Don’t Try

These things are locked in BUT not permanently. Well, they are permanent if we never bother to try to change them. Once we begin the process we encounter all the old thinking, feeling and behaving and that is what we need to overcome.

Inertia is the principle of physics that maintains that a body at rest tends to remain at rest until a larger force acts on it. OR a body in motion tends to remain in motion unless a larger force acts on it. This is why it is difficult to push a car down the road from park.

It is also why it is difficult to stop a car with your hands once it is moving down a hillside. Momentum takes over and you just have to get out of the way at a certain point. We can understand these for our personal changes. When we do it makes things simpler.

Success In Life Simply Comes When You Refuse To Give Up

Beginning a change means overcoming the tendency to remain at rest, or stay the same. Our brains try to keep us consistent. It seems to take effort and it does but it gets easier the more we do it and the longer we do it for. Easier and easier. Still, we have to start it all.

We have to start it and keep it going until momentum takes over. Once we get to that tipping point it is ‘all down hill from there’. Change becomes easier and picks up speed. We can feel the shifting. Until we get there though we have to push through it.

This is true of our mental condition and controlling out thoughts and feelings as well as our skills and behaviors. Changing for success in 99.9% a mental game. Get your head on right and the rest follows. Most people never get the mind game understood and that sucks.

In Order To Succeed We Must First Believe We Can

They don’t get good results because their mind’s don’t serve them as they would like. They put their attention not on changing their thinking but on what is wrong with others, the economy, the environment. They blame others and the world for their ‘failures’.

So they never learn nor change. They can, and maybe someday they will, when ready, but for now they maintain their status quo. They can’t see it yet, and that is okay. When they are ready the teacher will appear. The real teacher is oneself. AND mentors are beneficial.

Changing your mind means overriding the old programming. You can do that. Bit by bit, over time, by repeating exercises and processes that help you do that. Affirmations, Directed Questions™, Visualization, using vision boards all help you change your thoughts.

I Can – I Will – End Of Story

Consistent application of new thought is how you change. Focusing on the positive most of the time is how you change. The first great step is in awareness. Become aware of whether you are mostly positive or mostly negative most of the time. AND be more positive.

Accept and welcome the process. Celebrate the fact that you learn things and adapt. Celebrate that your brain and mind serve you in a variety of ways. Failure leads to success when you apply feedback as an athlete does. Awareness is the starting place and it is required.

Examine your defeat and losses. Once at the bottom the only way to move is up. Those who have achieved great things and great wealth have often done it on the back of great loss and hardship, equal in difficulty as their good fortune is good.

The Key To Success Is To Begin Before You Are Ready

You only fail when you quit the pursuit. Once you stop it is over. As long as you continue you are not failing. Everyone who has ever succeeded in anything has met with challenges. Some seemed insurmountable at the time.

Those who continued on in spite of the hardship, made it through and reaped a reward. Those who did not lost out. What gives the person who continues the edge. What do you think it is? Their mindset, of course? What else could it or would it be?

They control their thinking and do it in spite of the difficulty or the odds. They do it in spite of not feeling like it. They do it anyway. In order to do that they must think it first. They do not let their thoughts or their thinking prevent them. Others will but not these.

Winners Never Quit And Quitters Never Win

Thomas Edison tried over 10,000 times before he found the right combination of materials that produced a working lightbulb. What if he had stopped after 3 tries as most people might do?  We all still might be reading by gas or oil lamps.

The Wright Brothers continued attempting to fly until they actually did. What might have happened or how long would it have taken if they threw in the towel? There are countless examples of people overcoming difficulty and pushing through to ultimate success.

R. U. Darby, who Napoleon Hill references, had a wealthy gold mine that dried up. Dig and dig he did but to know avail. He tossed in the towel, sold the mine and gave up. The gentleman who purchased the mine, hired a consultant who determined that gold was still there.

Fall Seven Times – Get Up Eight

They dug 3 feet from where Darby left of and struck the richest gold vein making the new owner instantly very wealthy. Darby lost a fortune. Fortunately, for him, by his own admission, he stated it was probably the best thing that ever happened to him.

He learned from his mistake and vowed to never let anything stop him again. He went into the insurance business and he learned he would not take no for an answer. He became a wealthy millionaire salesman as a result and he attributed this to missing gold by 3 feet.

If we learn from our mistakes; if we learn from obstacles and our challenges and what appears to be defeat we will learn things of incredible value. These can be positively life changing. Our challenges are our blessings too. We just don’t view them that way.

What Defines Us Is How Well We Rise After Falling

We can. Challenges contain opportunity. Your mindset, your attitude, your beliefs will determine what you see as a blessing or a problem. It will determine whether you think you can or you think you can’t accomplish something. You mindset determines if you try.

The saddest thing you can do is throw in the towel and give up. The saddest thing is to not take control of the one thing YOU can control, you mind.  Learn to control it. Make it work for you. Learn from your mistakes. Find the good and the positive in everything.

When you do you will begin to change more and more easily. The momentum takes on a life of its own. As you find things to enjoy and opportunities to take advantage of, as you feel grateful you discover more. Your brain actually opens up. Enjoy it! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

What will you do today to make it marvelous?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Creating The Future, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence

The Secret Successful People Know About Failure That You Don’t

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“Successful people aren’t always successful their first time out. You know that of course, right? They may spend years working on their dreams with no apparent success in sight. More over they may face incredibly difficult odds and challenges. Many lose everything first.

Welcome to Part 10 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. We continue on today. I hope you found the first  9 parts valuable. Ready, let’s go. Part 11 tomorrow.

A successful pro batter in baseball strikes out far more than gets hits. In fact the difference in averages between one paid the big, big bucks and one not isn’t that great.  If you think about it the highest scoring batter fails to connect with the ball far more often than not.

The same is true of basketball players and making baskets. The attempts far exceed scores made.They frequently miss. What sets these pro athletes apart from others, perhaps you and me? Why are they failing so often but still winning and getting paid very well?

Success Is Not Final – Failure Is Not Fatal …

One thing that makes the difference is they understand that in order to hit the target you have to try a lot. The know they will miss more than they hit and they accept that. It doesn’t prevent them from trying. They continue to press on. They keep the faith. They work it.

If they quit after their first miss, after their attempts went south, they would fail. Because they continue on they make adjustments to their behaviors and skill set, they continue to work on getting better and better. They improve. They know they must to compete.

They don’t count the times missed, they don’t focus on the ‘failures’ they record the successes. They understand swinging and missing is a large part of hitting the ball. Shooting at and missing the basket is a huge part of putting the ball in. It doesn’t stop them at all to miss.

… It Is The Courage To Continue That Counts

There is no such thing as failure. Either they did what they attempted to do or they didn’t. They don’t get bent out of shape about it. They keep their mind in check, they keep their attitude in check because they understand something most of us don’t.

Sports is a mental game. Most of winning is dependent on what goes on inside the athlete’s mind. Focus, concentration, not getting psyched out, but maybe psyching out an opponent, attention, shutting out distractions is a major part of their skills in doing.

It is the mental game that leads the physical prowess. Imagine trying to make a basket, hit a run, kick a field goal with millions watching, thousands cheering or booing, knowing the pressure is on. Are you up for that? Some people are and some aren’t?

Success In Life Comes When You Simply Refuse To Give Up

What the pro does inside their mind gives them the edge. Imagine training for four years to compete for seconds in the Olympics. You get a couple attempts, usually, and an average or best score entered in competition. Most who go to the Olympics fail to medal.

There is no such thing as failure to these dedicated people. There is only feedback. They either hit the mark or they don’t. If they don’t they examine what they need to adjust and improve to hit it the next attempt. If they miss again, they adjust for the next attempt.

Some go back after missing and dedicate another four years to improving so they can repeat the process again with the goal of medalling up next time. They commit and learn from their mistakes but they don’t throw in the towel.  Well, some may.

Have Goals So Strong Obstacles Failure Loss Act As Motivation

Those who do quit, they fail. They stopped after missing the mark. The last thing they did before quitting was to miss. Those who try again never fail. Temporarily, they may experience defeat, but only temporarily. They use it as feedback to continue to improve,

You and I face challenges and obstacles, small and large, each day. If you learn from your each of your difficulties you will continue to move forward. You gain valuable information on how to improve and move forward. With that information you can possibly succeed.

Napoleon Hill pointed out that within each adversity, each challenge, each struggle or disappointment,  there are the seeds of equivalent opportunity. You have to know to look for them or you will miss them. If you seek and you will find. Learn from difficulties.

Never Let Success Go To Your Head … 

You can learn from difficulties the same way athletes learn from their challenges. If you adopt the athlete mindset you can become a winner much more easily. You must learn to control your thoughts and feelings and to continue on no matter how daunting it seems.

With the correct attitude, and by making the proper adjustments, you can move forward toward success. With the right mind set you won’t stop at failure  but are open to begin seeing it as a stepping stone toward eventual success. All success begins in the mind.

When you look back on your life, or back on difficult times, temporary defeats and attempts to excel, you can more easily connect the dots. You see how or why you ended up as you did from the decisions you made. You can notice your part in it all.

… Never Let Failure Go To Your Heart

Your are responsible for all of it. Once you realize that all of your attempts, hit or miss, you are responsible for, the game changes. You don’t blame others, or conditions or circumstances, you seek to improve what you do so you are better the next time.

I enjoy listening to pros talk about how they won or lost a match or a game, and what they need to do to be better the next time. Listen, if you haven’t. It is all on them and what they can do to improve. Listen, pay attention, the pro mindset is what we need to win!

Never worry about making  mistakes. Mistakes are a part of it, just as misses are, as long as you learn from them. Some people try so hard to avoid making mistakes that they don’t do anything. They freeze. They are afraid they will do something wrong.

Failure Is Success In Progress

Something wrong can always be corrected. It is far better to do it and correct it and learn from it and move forward than to not progress at all because of fear. It sucks being frozen. When you are stuck you are not moving in any direction. That is what stuck means.

Enough for today. We will continue tomorrow. Hopefully, I have provided you with some important food for thought but don’t miss tomorrow. You will want to read on! Meanwhile, make it a point to examine your thinking and your experience. Look for the good.

Look for the positive. Look for what you do well that you can enhance. Realize you have an opportunity to improve and excel. You can update and upgrade. Eliminate the bugs and faulty programming and beginning living as you want to. Find those things to appreciate.

Success Is The Sum Of Small Efforts Repeated Day In And Day Out

Look into what you appreciate about you, others and the world. Bask it in. Feel the positive emotions. After all, the point of life is to feel wonderful. Logic is fine but feel delight and feel joy. Become enthused with your ability to make changes positively. Have fun and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take charge today and be happy!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Deliberate Creators, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility

The Reason Why 95% Of People Fail To Get What They Want

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“Going after and getting what you want requires tenacity. If getting rich was always easy far more people would be rich. Whether you want success in your career, book more gigs, get an ideal job, have more romance and love in your life, be happier or buy that new home, it requires effort.

Welcome to Part 4 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. We continue on today. I hope you found the first 3 parts valuable. Ready, let’s go. Part 5 tomorrow.

Success in all areas of your life, health, wealth, love, success, prosperity begins first in your mind. You must have the right mindset, attitude and beliefs. You must know you are capable of having what you want even when you aren’t exactly sure how to go about getting it. The results you are after first begin within you.

This Life Of Yours Is 100% Your Responsibility

You must know what you want. It must be worth it to you. You must be passionate about it and obsessed with getting it. It can’t be merely a passing fancy or you won’t last long in going for it. See it as having already happened in your mind. Affirm your ability to get it. Feel you can do it and perform the positive actions to get it.

Keep on working at it. Revise your plan.  Overcome and learn from obstacles and challenges until you arrive. Never give up if it is something you must have. Keep the faith always. This is the way you get what you want. You do not get it wishing and hoping for things to be different. You make it happen. You bring it about. Effort required.

You are always creating everything in your life. Your success and your failure. Your fun moments and your boredom. You never escape not creating what IS at any moment. Your response and your thoughts determine your feelings and your actions. Your mindset determines whether something is good or not good.

Accept Responsibility For Your Thoughts And Actions

You can’t escape this. I even suggest, if you are willing to, explore how what I just said isn’t true. Everything in your world, whether you enjoy it or not is up to you. Without your conscious participation none of it would exist as you know it. While this notion could be very abstract I simply mean you always determine the quality of your life.

Why do 95% not get what they want? Because they come up with excuses and reasons why they are not responsible for the outcomes and results they get. They will blame the world, god, others, the weather, the financial climate, themselves, their past upbringing, and anything else for why they can’t succeed as they want to.

The will consistently try to use these excuses and the stories they make up and tell again and again to explain why things are against them and it isn’t their fault. They have all the reasons, even great reasons why they should have but couldn’t get ahead. Their mindset isn’t supporting their success. It is inhibiting their success.

Be Accountable For The  Results You Get

You won’t succeed attributing your failures to others or things outside yourself. You must marshall your inner and outer resources and align them to go after, and continue to go after, what you want when the going gets tough. Your thoughts and attitude determine how far you will travel. Attitude is everything!

Your inner world must be rich with reasons why you succeed, why you can succeed and why you will continue to succeed. It must not be filled with junk logic and stories of how the world prevents you from reaching your  goals. EVEN if that WERE true it wouldn’t help you be or do or get what you want. Negativity doesn’t serve you.

Listen to coffee klatch conversation and you will hear the blames, the stories, the excuses, all the reasons why IT didn’t happen. IT never happens YOU make it happen. Listen, don’t try to change the person telling the stories it is up to them to learn and change themselves. Don’t argue with them, allow them to be who they are.

Take Ownership Of Your Mistakes

When we want to change and bring new things about; we want to think more positively or create new habits to replace old ones, when WE are making internal changes, these kind of stories and excuses can come up.  They’re part of our early conditioning. We learned them from others and made them our own.

We grew up being told things; we heard others discussing problems; we had our own experiences which we learned from. We soon realized  we may get in trouble if we don’t present the proper reason or excuse for our actions. We grew up learning to attribute certain things to ourselves and other things to others or the environment.

Much of our self attributions are negative. We blame ourselves for being stupid, weak, incapable and other negative things. We are afraid we won’t amount to anything or aren’t worthy. Perhaps, we feel we always have bad luck. That is the old negative chronic mental conditioning rearing its head when we blame ourselves or others.

Once You Take Responsibility For Everything In Your Life…

We blame ourselves, our parents, our teachers, our education or lack of it, the money we had or didn’t in early life, our home environment. Heck, we blame everything. As long as we blame we won’t accomplish because we are too busy finding all the reasons and excuses why we can’t and why we won’t. This is a given.

This is law. I’m not sure it is written anywhere, or if I just made up that it is law but figure it our for yourself. If all of your mental energies are focused on why something is wrong and can’t happen what is the likelihood it will? If you are preoccupied with YOUR personal story about what sucks what is RIGHT that you will find?

Not much right that is certain. In order to get what you want it helps if you take charge and shoulder that responsibility. If you get it or not own up to it. Then, if you wish to continue after it, you do what else you can do to potentially bring it about. When you take responsibility you put yourself in the position of power and control.

… You Can Transform Anything In Your Life

When you blame and excuse and tell all the reasons why you are unable you are a victim. If not in the real sense, you are in the mental sense. You live and think as a victim does, you have no control, no power, no ability to self-determine your present and future moments. Do you want to live without power or self-control?

Don’t look back on the past to make future changes unless your past supports you in that endeavor. Look to your successes to be more successful and not your failures or reasons why things didn’t work out for you before. Put on a positive, productive and powerful mindset and keep it on. That will help you to succeed.

You are not guaranteed success just by having a positive attitude all by itself. It is the beginning step you must have and must keep all the while in order to succeed. It is almost certainly guaranteed that you will not succeed maintaining a negative attitude. You won’t even begin to take action if you don’t think and feel it is possible.

You Are Responsible For Your Own Happiness

Why do 95% fail to reach their goals and dreams. Because they believe bullshit. They believe lies and stories they have been told and they keep telling for a long time. It is self deception. When we tell others our stories it is an attempt to save face and explain how circumstances, not ourselves, prevented us.

If you want to succeed. Get real. Stop the BS. Own up. Shoulder the responsibility, uncomfortable as it may first seem to be, but do it. Be responsible and accountable for your thoughts, feelings, actions and the results you get. Be honest. Be clear about it. Gear up your mind for success. Take control of it. Then success is much more likely.

When your mindset and attitude is right you feel right. When you feel right you do more of those positive actions that help you in your quest. You continue on despite the difficulty. Why? Because YOU are responsible IF you want to get the results. Others aren’t going to do your work for you. Get it? Own your changes! Own your actions!

Make Changes Or Make Excuses It Is Your Choice

Own the results you get favorable or not! Then you are a leader. You lead yourself. You are a commander. You determine what you want and you go after it. Others, if you are wise, can help in the spirit of friendly co-operation. You can assist others in similar fashion. Being in charge of yourself doesn’t put you in charge of others.

It can make you more attractive to others, Others may wish to help you because you are a person of passion, self determination, and inner strength. You are a positive force that others can recognize and respond to. Birds of a feather flock together. You can find yourself aligning with other powerful people to get things done.

So no more excuses. Find you inner champion. Take responsibility for all of your life. If you want more love be more loving. If you want better health engage in healthy practices. Be the change you want to become. Find the good in you and everywhere else. Find the reasons why it is possible, the solutions, and move forward. Look for all the reasons to be grateful right now and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Acceptance, Habits, Mindset, Overcoming Difficulty

Why You Don’t Make The Changes You Want To

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“What keeps most people the same? Why don’t they change? Even when they want to they don’t. What about you? Have you wanted to make changes but didn’t because you found it difficult? Why is that?

Welcome to Part 3 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. We continue on today. I hope you found the 1st and 2nd parts valuable. Ready, let’s go. Part 4 tomorrow.

The answers may surprise you. At the same time you may think, ‘but of course, that makes perfect sense.’ So, why don’t people change? What is it that keeps them the same even when they want to?

Life Begins At The End Of Your Comfort Zone

Comfort. People like comfort. If nothing is pressing them they will remain as is. They want to be comfortable. Isn’t that true? Don’t you prefer it? I do. I like it when things are comfortable and easy.

That is one reason. The second reason is discomfort. People hate being uncomfortable and will do anything to remain in comfort. Change means discomfort. So they avoid changing.

When the discomfort becomes intolerable THEN people will decide to change because they want to comfortable again. Comfort like inertia takes a lot of effort to get people to move, out of it.

Comfort Zones Are Expanded Through Discomfort

Discomfort is what they want to avoid so they remain the same instead of leaving their comfort zone. They will continue until it becomes too uncomfortable to remain the same. Notice the cycle.

Change means you will be uncomfortable. This is normal. All growth means to stretch, to expand, to move beyond. We even say there is such a thing as growing pains. Discomfort is part of life.

All growth is growth outside your comfort zone. If you attempt new behaviors, change beliefs, create a new schedule or take a different route to work you leave the comfort behind.

The Secret:  Be Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

It seems foreign and unfamiliar. You long for the old ways when you feel pain or discomfort. It was easier the old way. Simpler and more comfortable. The new way is too hard.  What do you do? You quit.

The old way wasn’t easier you wanted to change. You  just didn’t prepare for the changes you’d be making. You didn’t get your head on right. So you stopped and went back to  your comfort zone.

Yup, that is what we tend to do. We quit. We give in, resist change and remain the same because we hate being uncomfortable for any amount of time.  We really do. In order to change we have to face it.

You Can Never Be Happy If You’re Afraid To Be Uncomfortable

The way to move forward is to realize it won’t always be cushy. It is not going to be comfortable, especially at first, as you learn new things. Eventually, yes, you will get comfortable with the new ways.

BUT not at first. You might as well know this and accept it so you can work with it. If you want your life to change you will have to change some things in your life. You’ll have to change what you think and do.

You need to do some things you won’t like doing. If you know going into it there are some challenges, at least you won’t be surprised. You can determine to see it through no matter what. Stick with it!

The Magic Happens Outside Your Comfort Zone

Accept it. Understand that in order to grow you will have to leave your comfort zone. It may not be easy, you may want to stop or to flee but you have to push through it. That is just how it is.

Don’t be afraid of it, accept it. Most of life is about making the unfamiliar familiar. We grow accustomed, establish habit and routine. We get comfortable over time with new things.

Then we convince ourselves that the new way should always remain the same. It doesn’t and won’t. There will always be obstacles and challenges. It is called LIFE. The apple cart gets tipped over.

Your Only Limitations Are The Ones You Think You Have

If we want to develop new thought and behavioral habits we will be uncomfortable from time to time. Not all the time but sometimes. That is how it will be. Can you accept that? It is easier if you can.

When you purchase a new pair of shoes they are uncomfortable at first. Perhaps, too tight or they rub. They are brand new but they don’t fit right, yet. They will but you have to break them in.

You wear them a little bit at a time so they break in without hurting your feet. You wear them. They stretch. You get more used to them. Eventually,the new ones become more comfortable for you.

Live As If You Were Going To Die Tomorrow…

That is how it works. When you exercise your muscles get sore. They burn. They downright hurt. You may not like it but if you keep going you develop a tolerance for it.

You accept it as part of developing muscles even if you don’t like it. Muscles grow by breaking the tissue down and then nourishing the tissue and replenishing it. It grows by break down and build up.

I had a friend who enjoyed the hurt because he knew his muscles were growing larger. His exercise was paying off. He took the pain as a signal he was making progress. It is all your frame of mind.

… Learn As If You Were Going To Live Forever

When you plant a seed, the seed germinates and breaks through it’s outer shell. Without tremendous effort the seed would not grow into the plant it is destined to become.

When you are uncomfortable you are at the boundary edges of your being. Your beliefs, and values are challenged. It is not at all comfortable.

T. Harv Eker has said, ‘Comfort is the kiss of death to success. If you are comfortable you will never be successful. BUT if you are successful there is a good chance you will be comfortable.’

Everything You Have Ever Wanted Is Outside Your Comfort Zone

Do you get it? It begins with your mindset. If you want to change know that you will be uncomfortable from time to time, or for a while. Develop your mindset and you can make do it.

Make the important changes you want to and then follow through. Don’t allow yourself to talk yourself out of it because it feels to hard. Control your thoughts, what you say to yourself and out loud.

Stick with it even when it is uncomfortable and you will be pushing through the tough times. They will give way. You don’t need to always be coddled and comfortable. Persist and push through.

Change Is From The Inside Out

Women push through the pain of childbirth and many want to do it again.  Some right away. You can do nearly anything if you give yourself credit that you can.

95% of the people will never do this. They will give up, give in, find some excuse or reason to quit. When the going gets tough most people cave. Only the toughest get going and keep going to the end.

Believe in yourself and be willing to change. Then continue on the path until you arrive. Commit. Be grateful you have the opportunity. Even while it is difficult be grateful. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a fabulous day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Intentional Thinking, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence

95% Of All People Won’t Do This But You Must To Succeed

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“From time to time, on numerous occasions, you will experience moments, hours, even days of doubts and fears. You may worry and feel anxiety and  want to quit.

Welcome to Part 2 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. We continue on today. I hope you found the 1st part valuable. I truly hope so.

If you did please like it or share it with others using the buttons below or your favorite means. Remember, I welcome questions and comments. Let’s continue. Then more in Part 3 tomorrow.

Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Will

It is natural. It is normal. When difficulties or disappointments arise you may want to throw in the towel. You may be afraid you won’t make it, you might doubt you will be successful.

When one joins the military that person knows up front basic will be tough. Even then some are not prepared for how tough. Those who make it through can go on and succeed.

The military doesn’t sell you on how tough it is but on what you accomplish by participating in the program. Most understand service may be incredibly demanding.

If You Are Going To Doubt Anything Doubt Your Limitations

The Military promotes the  end result. You will be disciplined, a patriot, you will help others, fight for freedom. They don’t tell you, although you know, you may loose limbs or life.

What do they want?  They want a few good men and women. Why, because that is all they will get. Better few of quality than many who aren’t. Few who begin any endeavor actually finish the endeavor.

Not everyone makes it through basic training. Still, many do. No matter how tough it is. They go all in. Either they feel they have no alternative but to succeed or it is worth it to them. So they do!

Most Things You Worry About Never Happen

If personal change and transformation is worth it to you you will continue the course no matter what. You will stick with it because you know the end is worth what it takes to get there.

Along the way you will doubt, have fears and worry. You will continue in spite of them. That is what the courageous do. It’s not that they aren’t afraid, they are, but they go on anyway.

Nothing will stop you. So it won’t be all rosy. You’d never learn to manage your worries, doubts and fears if you didn’t have them. That is precisely how you take control by facing them and overcoming.

Worrying Is Like Praying For What You Don’t Want

You prove to yourself you are bigger than your fears and problems. They do not prevent you from progressing and accomplishing your goals or dreams. You manage them and you control them.

Because you face them you become victorious over them. There is no other way. They will not magically disappear. The path will have pitfalls but you will navigate them and emerge the champion.

BUT only if you encounter what would have stopped you before and push through it. Don’t run away even though you may feel like it. If you do at first, come back. Keep going. By returning you will reign.

When You Doubt Your Power You Give Power To Your Doubt

The person who gets back on the horse after falling is the one who learns to ride. Keep coming back, keep going on. It will get easier and easier.

Life is never free from troubles. You get better at handling them. So remember this and determine to carry on no matter what. While you do notice your progress, validate your forward movement. Pat yourself on the back and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy and discover delight today!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Focus, Intentional Thinking, Overcoming Difficulty, Positive Thinking

How To Use Negative Thinking To Be Happy And Successful

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horizon parkside-phil-koch

“Today’s post is a response to a reader’s question. Ramesh asked, ‘You say that what you focus on expands. In EFT, one keeps repeating  “the pain ” and tapping the specific points.

While repeating the word pain aren’t we focusing on it more? Yet people are feeling better. This may not be your subject, yet I feel like taking your views is important for me’.

‘Thanks Ramesh. You raise an excellent question. What you focus on and give your energy to does expand. We become what we think about MOST of the time.

What You Focus On Expands

All of us have negative thoughts from time to time. It is human. All thoughts are human. What is it we are concentrated on most is the question? Are we predominantly positive or negative?

If we thought about pain constantly that is what we would get more of BECAUSE we are constantly focused on it. That is why sometimes while in pain it is difficult. It is hard to feel comfort thinking pain.

Our negative thoughts don’t need to be run from, but controlled. Our negative thoughts and feelings indicate that something may be amiss. It may be an area that requires our attention.

What You Think About You Bring About

For example, we may need to pay our bills. That is the reality. If we think, ‘I have to pay my bills, but I don’t have enough money’ that is what circumstances indicate.

If one stops there and continues to think, ‘I am broke, I have nothing, I will never get ahead, I will go bankrupt, the worse is coming’, then we are continuing to focus on the poverty of our circumstance.

Then it does expands. Energy put into it brings about more of the same. If instead, you think, ‘Okay, bills, money, how can I work to find more money? What positive things can I do to improve my situation, who can I call?’ You are proactively moving to positive.

What You Think About Most Often You Become

‘There is more than enough money in the universe how can I get some more? There is plenty and I can find it. I can be free. I am learning to become richer. What positive steps can I take.’

‘I’m going to do a job search and find something. I can succeed. I am a victor over circumstances. I can make good things happen. I always land on my feet. Good things come to me. I am a powerful creator. I can do this…’

One set of thoughts leads us to spiral down or stay stuck. The other leads to feeling better and positive action. Even the negative thoughts can be freeing. We can use them to move ahead. Consider:

Today You Are Where Your Thoughts Brought You

‘I have no money. I am broke and going to go bankrupt. This sucks. I hate this. I am going to make sure this never ever happens again. I am going to turn this around. Never again!’

‘I hate being without money so I am going to find some honest ways to make sure I will always have plenty. Others have a lot I can have a lot too. There is more than enough to go around…’

We can use the negative thoughts, and the negative feelings of anger or frustration to propel us from the negative stuck, broke place, into a more productive positive place.

Tomorrow You Will Be Where Your Thoughts Take You

BUT only if we don’t throw a pity party and wallow in ‘poor, me I am stuck and life is terrible’. We have to change our focus. Remove it from the less than glorious and focus on the positive, or glorious.

In EFT you focus on the pain while interrupting the pattern or energy flow by tapping . You look for the source of the discomfort and change the energy going to it. You break it up.

BUT first you have to identify what it is you want to break up and release. So you focus on it briefly while you change it. You do not stay focused on it.

You Cannot Escape The Power Of Your Thoughts

You evaluate too. Is this better or worse? You continue the procedure until relieved. Once relived you focus on feeling good. Generally, you may have positive thoughts accompany the taps.

You move your thinking and the statements you make from the pain to the relief you experience. You progress from the less than glorious to relief and then potentially feeling better. Consider:

You were walking and you noticed your foot hurts. You can keep walking and continue feeling the pain and thinking ‘ouch, ouch that hurts, it hurts’ and do nothing. Or you take a look.

What You Hold In Head You Can Some Day Hold In Your Hand

You discover a pebble in your shoe. Your remove it, your foot is a little sore but now that the pebble is gone. You notice as you walk it feels better. Eventually, you forget all about the pebble.

Because you noticed it you removed it. If you keep think about the pebble causing pain, now, it would be odd. It would be foolish and it wouldn’t serve you. Instead, you forget about it.

You walk more comfortably. With the source of discomfort removed all is fine. You can stop there. Or you can think. ‘I am glad I can walk easily. I love walking. I am grateful for my feet.’

Thoughts Lead To Feelings Lead To Actions Lead To Results

‘I am grateful for my body’s ability to signal me. I enjoy moving through the world. All these years my feet have carried me to various places I am so lucky. I am lucky to have healthy feet…’

You could promote more positive feelings. In fact, it is a great thing to do. When off course, or focused in the wrong direction, correct and think better thoughts moving in the right direction.

The trick is to notice what is amiss and correct it. If off course while walking, driving, boating or flying, once you correct and get back on course you no longer think about having been off course.

If You Don’t Like Your Results Change Your Thoughts

While off course it doesn’t serve you to keep thinking ‘I am off course’. It is better to think ‘I am moving back onto course. I am finding my destination and moving to it.’

‘What must I change in order to correct it?’ Then implement the change, get back on course, and focus on where you are headed. Keep your eyes on where you want to go.

We are lucky we have signals that let us know when we are off course. Our feelings indicate when our thinking is less than glorious. This is great! We have signals. Our thoughts determine our feelings.

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You

Our feelings determine our actions. Our actions determine our results. We never need to fear our thoughts rather we should master them. Take control of your mind and enjoy it!

Make it a point to think positive most of the time. If you notice you aren’t, change it. Put a guard in front of your mind so you think positive thoughts and only speak and express positive thoughts.

Speak only to bless, heal and prosper yourself and others. Your self talk and your conversations with family, friends and strangers. This helps you move forward and get more of what you want.

Positivity May Not Guarantee Success But Negativity Never Does

Occasionally, you will have a negative thought, something triggers a thought from your previous negative conditioning or you have a random stray negative thought for some reason. We all do.

Or perhaps, someone else, or from TV or media you see or hear or brings up some negative thought or thoughts. Okay, that is what happened. Acknowledge it and say or think, ‘no thanks’.

Or ‘thanks, but I prefer to think this instead’ and shift back into positive thinking. The preponderance of your thought and energy is what makes the difference.

The More We Do The More We Are Able To Do

What we entertain further and promote determines how we feel. If we are positive 95% of the time, 80% of the time, 75% 60% 55% 51% we are better off.

At about 50-50% we are in a holding pattern. Not so good not so bad but probably not what we want. We aren’t really progressing and may be keeping tough times locked in, because we are wishy washy.

Equal parts negative and positive. For change to occur we need to move in the direction of mostly positive. For some people they need to get to 50-50 first because they are mostly negative.

Skill Comes From Doing

It is a conditioning process like exercise. The more you do the more you can do. They more focused on the positive the more positive you create and attract. Eventually they move up to 55% then 62%.

Then 75% and on. This is how they make progress in the right direction. Things get better and better. Life may still present difficulty or even very difficult challenges. That is life.

The more positive they become the more they can navigate the difficulty they encounter. The more control they exercise over their thoughts the more control they gain. The better they get at it.

Positive Thinking Like Exercise Is A Conditioning Process

Focus your energy on being mostly positive so you don’t get caught up in the negative. A ‘can do’ person finds solutions much easier and quickly than slipping into being a ‘can’t do’ person.

The more practice you get being ‘can do’ the easier it is to remain one when the going gets tough. I hope I have answered your question. If not please ask again and I will attempt to be more helpful.

You helped me. I thought what will my blog be about today? Then I saw your question. I don’t know how many subscribers ever see comments so I decided to answer your question for the blog today.

Correct Repetition Builds Skill

I have benefited too. Perhaps together, you and I, will have helped others benefit as well. All is good. Best wishes, stay in touch and I hope this helped bring more clarity! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make all your moments magical?

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Beliefs, Creating The Future, Focus, Overcoming Difficulty

Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure

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“When it comes to success; being happy; having the career; the relationship; the family; and the life of your dreams you need to have faith or nothing will happen.

You need to believe in yourself and know that you can make a difference. You must know you can make you dream come true if, you believe you can and, you take action to accomplish it

Doubt Kills More Dreams Than Failure Ever Will!

Failure is an opportunity to learn. All failure is temporary unless you throw in the towel and quit. What kills more dreams than failure? Doubt! It is sad when people doubt themselves instead of trust.

You may not know how, yet, but if you move forward, you will see farther the further you go. Standing here right now you may not be able to see the forest through the trees but it is there.

With your seeds planted in the ground there may not be any evidence that you can see that they will break ground and grow into wonderful strong thriving plants. You must patiently wait and trust.

If You Think You Can Or You ThinkYo Can’t You Are Right

Circumstances around you may be difficult and you aren’t yet able to see your way to the future but don’t give up. Stop, and instead of doubting, decide you will do whatever it takes to get what you want.

You can take whatever positive actions, that benefits you and others, and move forward step by step, bit by bit, getting closer and closer to your goal. Obstacles are only speed bumps.

They may seem insurmountable but they are not. Here is a suggestion for you. Trust yourself! Doubt you will fail. If you are going to doubt put it to work for you. Doubt your problems will last.

Thoughts Are Things – Choose Good Ones

Doubt that anything is too difficult for you to prevail. Doubt that circumstances will get worse. Doubt that you are limited in any way. If you have to doubt anything use good taste. Doubt your doubts.

Make it work for you. Decide you won’t let doubt win. You win! You dictate how things will be. Trust, have faith, believe in yourself and know that when you come from your power you can do anything.

Believe in yourself and believe you will make your dreams come true. Do whatever you need to, to keep the lamp lit that lights you way. Focus on the positive, focus on the CAN DO and do it.

What You Think About Most Often You Become

Never let hard times or old, chronic, habitual conditioning keep you from being, doing or having what you want. Never let a negative thought or doubt rob you of your dreams.

Align your resources and move forward. Steel yourself. Know champions may have doubts from time to time but they push through them. You can too! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Determine in advance to enjoy this day!

Find moments to enjoy and celebrate today! If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Decision, Focus, Overcoming Difficulty

Are You Bigger Or Smaller Than Your Problems?

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“This is an critical question. Are you bigger or are you smaller than your problems? If you have big problems it means you are a smaller person by comparison. Do you think you will solve them at that size?

I have written and shared within these pages that what you think about you get. An immutable law of the universe. Whether positive or negative you manifest what you spend most of your time thinking about.

Your brain doesn’t care whether it is positive or negative, good or bad for you, true or false it just provides you with more of the same. Your Reticular Activating System seeks matches inside and outside of you.

Believing Is Seeing

Nothing has any meaning except the meaning we assign it. The world went on prior to the arrival of humans and no one judged days as good or bad, catastrophic or calm and wonderful. Humans make evaluations.

Enter the human enter judgements. Days became good or bad, weather became good or bad. Situations became good or bad large and small. We assigned meaning to these for the first time.

There is no intrinsic meaning without human perception. That is all there is, our perceptions. Our perceptions are formed by our previous past conditioning, our experiences, the beliefs, values and opinions we have formed.  We use these and assign meaning.

Nothing Has Any Meaning Except The Meaning We Assign It

Perceptions are limited by our neurological processes and filters, our five senses. We don’t see the world, situations and events as is, we perceive these only in part. We can’t perceive the entire picture, through our processes and filters. We have limited info to begin with. However limited it doesn’t stop us from making judgements.

The purpose of this blog is to inspire, motivate and show you how else things can be. If we’re going to believe a fiction why not believe one that serves us better and supports us to make positive things happen. Believe the best version you can and make it happen.

Since we have been conditioned and respond from that conditioning automatically whether we want to or not, perhaps, it is time to change our conditioning  to respond automatically in a way we would like to. Then we could begin to get the results we want to get.

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

I have shared with you the importance of developing a positive CAN DO mindset instead of a negative can’t do one. We become what we think about most often. So become a powerful person of action.

Our thoughts determine our feelings, our feelings our actions or lack of them, our actions or lack of them determine the results we get. Thoughts precede actions.

Can Do helps make more things happen than can’t do. A Can Do person is a person focused on solutions. If you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right. Remember?

You Get What You Focus On

What you focus on is what you get. Are you predominantly focused on what you want or don’t want,? Do you celebrate what you have or focus on what you don’t have?

Do you love life or is it just okay? Are your problems big or small? Think about this for a moment? If your problems are big it means you are a small person. It should be the other way around.

I have discussed living as a winner, a victor, a champion an emperor. Why? Because the mindset of these are dedicated to success and accomplishment. You should be bigger than your problems.

You Attitude Determines Your Altitude

I write of an unstoppable attitude, one of commitment and persistence and often discuss Olympic Athletes as examples. These athletes know the commitment conditioning takes.

They commit, train for 4 years or longer, whether they feel like it or not, for seconds worth of competition. Those who get to compete are world class whether they medal or not.

The attitude, the dedication is wonderful. It is admirable. It is the kind of dedication we should have. Train your brain and your thoughts as an olympic athlete trains their mind and body.

If You Have A Big Problem It Means You Are A Small Person

So here is my question? What size are you? Are you bigger or larger than your problems? Are you in charge or do they dictate how you and life will be?

When you think about them do they loom over you or do you understand that all obstacles are there to learn from, resolve and move on. We grow through our struggles. We evolve.

The kite rises against the wind. Steel is hardened in the fire. Are you a champion or not? Are your problems larger than you or are you larger than the problems?

It Is All A Matter Of Perspective

Stop focusing on the size of your problems. Begin focusing on the size of you! The bigger you are inside you own mind the more easily you can handle things. The more we do the more we can do.

It is time for you to decide, don’t you think? Dedicate yourself to becoming solution focused instead of problem focused. Focus on what you want not lack or problems or what you wish to avoid.

Stop focusing on the problem and begin to focus on your goals and dreams. Take charge and determine you will pay attention to what you decide to pay attention to. You can aim your attention.

Decide Right Now To Be Bigger Than Your Problems

Steel your mind. Adopt the winner, the victor mindset and put your problems into perspective. There is no meaning except the meaning you assign. So assign meaning that works for you and supports you!

It is time to become larger than life and live like an emperor. Live as one who can and does successfully resolve difficulties no matter how difficult. Be the champion, the victor, the emperor.

Most negative people think of problems as overwhelming. Most successful people understand that all problems are simply things we handle on a daily basis. They are no big deal. They can be handled.

Be The Champion Be Unstoppable

They master their problems instead of letting problems master them. You can too. Devote yourself to learning to master your problems, handle them, and you become unstoppable

In an earlier blog I wrote about David and how he rushed and slew Goliath. David didn’t see Goliath as a giant and a massive threat, instead he trusted and declared that this day god would prevail.

Cut your problems down to size. Stop whining about problems and start seeking solutions. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. What you say is what you get. Focus on solutions. Focus on your goals.

Your Future Depends On Your Decisions Now

The outer results are only a reflection of what is going on in your inner world. What you experience today comes from prior thoughts and conditioning. If you want tomorrow to be different you start your change today. Think differently and your life changes!

Decide you will be bigger than any problem Decide to be the victor, the champion, the emperor. Dictate your results don’t let them dictate you. BE bigger.

Someone once said, ‘the size of the problem doesn’t matter but the size of you does.’ Put your problems into perspective. This is what you can do. You can decide to never let a problem rob you of any success of happiness.

Our Struggles Make Us Stronger Celebrate Them

You are competent and able to handle anything that comes your way. If you don’t know how you can learn how.Your struggles are making you stronger as a result. You are tried and tested by fire. The kite rises against the wind.

Inside every challenge is a learning and an opportunity if you look for them. Live as the victor. Live large. Be the emperor of your life. Know you can handle anything.  AND celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Decide to delight in this day!

Find moments to enjoy and celebrate today! If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!