Category Archives: Forgiveness

Who Has Walked With You On The Path?

beatufiul fall river bench

“Beginning today: List all the people you are grateful for. Write down the names of those you love and cherish, your friends, those who have influenced you and those who have challenged you. Remember the times and places and activities that these people and strangers were important to you.

Sit and think about this. Take some time to recall. Keep track of those who have educated and guided you.Living and those passed on think back on how lucky you are that they have been in your life. Celebrate, delight and enjoy these memories of special people in your life. How many can you list?

Add to your list tomorrow. Who else do you remember. Who impacted you this day? Stay in tune with people and what they mean and have meant to you. Young or old, past or new focus on being grateful.

Appreciate and then do it some more. Fill your mind with the positive!” Rex Sikes

Today is there just for you! Share it with others because you can! Make it wonderful!

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Are You Waiting For Paradise? What Are You Waiting For? Part 3 The Past

past present future

WOW! Then the past became clear to me.

Everything I had ever done or thought, successfully or not, was a pathway to this moment. In retrospect, every decision could be seen to have brought me to this present moment right here. Whether it actually is a charted pathway to now or simply haphazard doesn’t matter it is the meaning we assign to it. I don’t care to debate the reality of the past. In the light of this new understanding I could look back and see how events in my life worked or did not work to bring me to this moment.

THIS AWARENESS brought another awareness. No matter what I may have suffered, lost, or didn’t take advantage of all of it was valuable to who I am today. No matter how I failed or succeeded, no matter what I was unlucky in or was lucky in all of it were stepping stones on the pathway.

EVERYTHING from my past good and bad I could appreciate in some fashion because it was part of the road to this realization. I could celebrate successes and failures, great times and tragedies and learn from all.

some things fall apart so things come together

My thinking underwent profound changes. Life altering realizations flooded me. Some changes in thinking were instantaneous while others came about over many weeks and many years. Most came about because I immersed myself in positive and inspirational material and made a commitment to find the best thoughts to think daily. The insights came about because I was changing myself. I was working at it and gaining new understandings as a result of my efforts.

My life changed when I decided to be in charge of my thinking and feelings. I decided to choose the best thoughts and the best feelings I could find each day. I decided to stop leaving things to chance and to stop living like a victim to anything. No longer would I be like that bobbing cork.

I would fill every moment I could with the best that I could find. It might not always be the most glorious but it would be the best I could do at the moment. I would do this without criticizing myself for the job I was doing. After all, I was no expert, I was learning to do this and learning to stay focused so I should treat myself with respect and love and gentleness while in this process. I was a neophyte, a beginner, a child in the school of self improvement.

I learned that progress is quicker without trying to manage it or critique it. We evolve faster when we give ourself permission to make mistakes and accept them as a natural part of growing. Every baker has burned a loaf of bread at times. Why should I think I won’t somewhere screw up? Accept it and go on without making a big deal out of it. Relax, do the work, and let go. I moved slow and steady. I nurture myself along as if an toddler. It is better while learning to praise than to punish.

attitude difference between ordeal and adventure

I learned to nurture change gently. It was extremely difficult at times and exceptionally easy at other times. Challenges came along. They always do. When I realized difficulties were opportunities to grow even stronger through adversity I embraced them. I encountered difficult people and when I could I would think of the Golden Rule and apply it I did. This became very important because I DO want to get back what I put out – so I want it to be the very best. I want to attract the best people to gather around me.

I learned life is too short to suffer, whine, complain and be annoyed by people and circumstances. I realized this is my life AND I want to make it what I want it to be. I use the Garden Of Eden analogy. According to my version of this Biblical story we were meant to live in paradise.

We were designed for and meant to live in paradise but because of our actions (our thoughts) we don’t. Still paradise was intended for us.

Heaven and hell exist inside us. We make our life whatever it is by what we choose to pay attention to. Very little suffering actually comes from the outside of us (but there are physical realities). Most of our suffering is a result of how we react to circumstances and people and our very own thoughts and feelings. In many ways, exactly how much we suffer is up to us. We know that people may respond very differently to similar circumstances. One persons floor is another person’s ceiling.

SO I decided to stop focusing on reasons I suffer and to begin making my life a return to paradise.

But why wait? Paradise shouldn’t be a far off possibility but immediate pleasure. If I want to live in paradise then I have to begin living it right now. This is why it is important to make the present as remarkable as it can be.

We make the present incredible when we appreciating everything. EVERYTHING! We accept we allow and we learn from everything. We forgive and truly forgive. We appreciate all from the past, we decide to live as champions not merely as survivors.

If you are reading this today then you have been succeeding along. You have been doing extremely well even if you don’t think so yet. You are here and that is a testimony to your strength. For some, they have demonstrated amazing strength others may have had it easier. No matter, you are here today reading this because you have succeeded in getting here. That is worth noting for yourself.

forgive yourself for not knowing

Accept the past, heal the past, appreciate where it has brought you. No matter what the journey was like before you are right here.

What tomorrow is like you will determine today.

If your present isn’t everything you want it to be you NOW have the chance to make it so. You can begin to make your present unbelievably wonderful while creating a more marvelous future.

It is time to stop being a victim, if that is how you have lived, and start being a victor.

There is the saying ‘if it is to be it is up to me’ and that is the truth. It is up to each of us. When I realized this (and the other realizations I mentioned) my life began to transform.

I am still a work in progress. I am not complete and not perfect. Perfection is not a goal anyway. I don’t want anything perfect. I am what and who I am. I have been learning I can enjoy that. I can celebrate and become even more awesome. Nothing is lacking and nothing is complete all at the very same time. Yes, I still experience challenges and need to look for the hidden opportunities but life is so much better today!! It can be for you too if it is not already.

think continually about what you want

The past and present and future all simultaneously co-habit this moment, oddly enough.

Learn to appreciate where you have been. Validate the journey you have traveled. Celebrate where you are at this moment as you move into the future. You will arrive at the destination you have chosen for yourself. Stay positive, stay optimistic, expect the best, keep focused on what you want and all that is wonderful. Each day do the little things you can to make each moment miraculous and your life will transform in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. Yes, your life will transform because YOU will be the one transforming it.

There is no reason to wait for paradise. Begin enjoying it right now. This world is your garden. Plant and nurture the wonderful things you want to have more of.

Everything begins with the thought you think. Choose your thoughts wisely. Plant good seeds. Celebrate the process and embrace the miraculous. I’ll share more later! Meanwhile, enjoy!” Rex Sikes

It is your day to make marvelous? What are you going to do about it?

 

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Train Your Mind – It Works!!! Part 2

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“… I discovered that the wonderful things don’t come from having more things. It comes from being more wonderful. It comes from having less stress, depression, anxiety, anger, frustration. It comes from taking the bull by the horns and deciding to do something for myself and to keep on doing it no matter what. I decided I would  never ever quit or give up. If I had to boot strap it I would, if the going got tough if I had to be tough I would get going. I decided that the end result was worth the price, whatever that price was I had to pay. AND it is! I am getting so much more back than I pay for it is incredible!

Part 2

I have used the analogy of a buffet. You put on your plate what you like and enjoy, that which brings you pleasure and whatever you don’t want or don’t like you leave it on the buffet table. You delight in what is on your plate.  You don’t sit there thinking about the food you do not care for. You do not lament that you don’t like brussel sprouts, or broccoli or whatever. I mean, this should make sense to most people I would think. At the buffet you focus on enjoying what you like. You go to get the foods you like not to worry about what you don’t want. You never even give it a second thought.

I have learned to treat myself as if a baby or at best a toddler. I have a pet phrase I have used for decades when conducting seminars and workshops and that is, ‘You don’t punt the baby’. When you have a child learning motor skills, whether learning to walk or feed itself, you nurture and encourage the child, you get all excited and act weird. If the child falls or misses its mouth with a spoon you don’t punt it out of the room and scream at it and shame it, you don’t if you love it. No, you encourage it to continue in the behavior you want the child to learn. When the child does anything close to what you want it to learn you get wildly enthusiastic, goofy even so that the child feels wonderful.

So when I screw up I  think of myself as a baby learning anything new and encourage myself instead of criticizing myself. Instead of thinking of myself as stupid or useless and never able to learn, I celebrate the awareness I have that I recognized I was off base, and give myself a pat on the back. Then gently, positively I steer myself back on track. It is much nicer being gentle, loving and kind to me. Hey, I was an expert in self criticism I just decided to stop that and do something better for myself.

See, I am just making my way through this world like anyone else. I decided though at one point that  I was going to act as if I were totally in charge of everything that happens to me, whether that is actually the case or not. Did you read that and get it. I decided to act as if I were totally in charge of everything. In control, me and no one else. That means I alone am accountable and responsible for everything good and bad. It means I am the creator, everything I have or don’t have is because of me. (Whether this is actually true or not, I decided I was going to adopt this frame of mind and live as IF IT IS the case).

What happened when I began to live this way is everything changed. It is as if I am actually in charge. I create everything. Good, bad I create it.

Whether this is true or not doesn’t matter to me. Let’s say I am pretending to be in charge. By pretending to be in charge I am making positive choices for myself every moment I can.

Why?

Because I am the person in charge. I am the creator so I need to decide what I want. I need to decided how I want to think and feel. I decided what I want to be, who I am and what I do and have. It is all up to me. Since I AM IN CHARGE I  chose the very best.

When things happen I chose how to respond. I determine what I will pay attention to and focus on and feel.

Do you know what? I am a work in process. Sometimes I do better than at other times but, as I have stated, I adjust for it and gently steer back. Yes, I repeated myself because I am attempting to point out, as all my friends and family know, I am not perfect. I am not perfect by any means but now I have choice.

It is absolutely freeing.

Instead of blaming others, I look at what I can adjust about myself to think or feel better about it. I put a guardian at the gate, and make it a point to only think and speak about things that bless, heal and help prosper. I am protective of my thoughts and feelings. I like the positive attitude and the feelings that come from it so I want to preserve these and encourage these. I want more of it.

It wasn’t easy to begin thinking and doing these things but it is easier now. I have trained my mind to find the good in every situation. I have trained my mind to be my own best friend and to act in my own best interests instead of running wild or acting randomly. I have trained my mind.

I like it when I write that or say ‘I have trained my mind’, because at one time I was a victim of my own thoughts and feelings.  NOW I have choices. Actually, I may have always had the same choices and others available, but I was unaware of them so I never chose them. Previously, I did not know to exercise my choices. Now I do and now I choose.

I said before that when things go awry and crap happens I don’t have to choose to be unhappy. I can choose to be happy regardless of what is going on. If all of everything around me is crumbling it DOES NOT MEAN that I have to be unhappy about it. It doesn’t mean that at all because I have learned that my real happiness is not related to what happens but rather to who I am. It is who I am not what goes on where my happiness is.

I stay focused on creating what I want, attracting it and manifesting it. Call it what you want, I stay focused on what I want to be and have instead of noticing what isn’t there yet. I learned that if I worry I attract and/or create more worry. Unhappiness attracts more unhappiness. Worrying about not having enough money doesn’t help me have or create more money it only keeps me in a state of poverty. Being dissatisfied only creates less satisfaction.

Instead I focus on what I want. I focus on being happy because happiness creates more happiness. Love attracts more love, gratitude attracts more gratitude, kindness attracts more kindness. I want to fill my life with what I want, I want to become these, feel these and have theses. Success attracts more success, money attracts more money, peace attracts more peace. So I focus on these, am grateful for these and think on these things. We become what we think about.

So even when things are not presently going my way, my training is to stay focuses on what I want to create instead of what I don’t want. I stay focused on what I want to become and do and have instead of what I don’t have. This keeps me in an action phase and provides me with the opportunity to continue to move forward instead of wallowing in being stuck and forlorn.

Maybe, all I am thinking and doing is a fantasy, a lie, a delusion. So what?

If everything I am thinking is a lie, I prefer it this way.

Some people talk about the law of attraction, they say ‘be positive, think what you want and you will attract it, the universe will provide’. That scared me because I used to think ‘well what if I think it and it doesn’t happen then I will only be more disappointed.’ I did, I acutally used to think that.

I used to think, ‘ok I will think be positive, but I don’t want any religious infinite intelligence talk, or god is good talk, I don’t want to go there , I just want to make good things happen for me’. So don’t get metaphysical or magical with me, I don’t want to be surrounded by purple protective bubbles and amulets. I want practical, down to earth, scientific, everyday reality sort of thinking that if I engage in it is sure to happen so I won’t be disappointed.

You know what I found? Magic but not the new agey wacky flavor of the moment magic but real true transformative magic. I found that if I want it to be it is actually up to me. It is up to how I think and how I feel and what I do. It is up to me to create a plan, utilize my resources, partner with others and wish all good things because when I do I create for myself a better way to move through the world.

When I am feeling positive and wishing others well I am attracting positive feeling people who also wish others well. I am resonating with other like minded people who are seeking positive opportunities to create wonderful things in their own lives and the lives of others.

The magic isn’t outer magic it is inner magic. Inner magic relies on oneself to make adjustments in positive ways instead of expecting the world to conform to your wishes. Inner magic is about having control over yourself so that you think and act more clearly and are thus better able to recognize opportunities as they occur. Inner magic is being true to oneself and living positively no matter what occurs around oneself.  There is real magic but it isn’t the kind of fairy tale magic we grew up hoping for.

I am no expert. I live my life day to day.

I have more choices available to me now than ever before. Sometimes, I chose wisely and other times I don’t. Whenever, I find myself off track I steer back on and appreciate that I discovered I was off track. IN itself, this is a powerful way for me to live. I am now able to positively self correct instead of negatively beating myself up when off course.

When I am not busy self correcting on the course I am busy enjoying the journey. I am busy appreciating myself and the people around me. I find small and large things to be thankful for throughout the day and that contributes to my overall well being. The journey is no longer a burden but a pleasure. Instead of looking for mistakes, things that are wrong or unjust I look for miracles each day, large or small, to celebrate. Why? Because we get what we focus on. We attract or we create what we think about. Do you get it? If not, some day you will.

We become whatever we think about. What we can conceive and believe we can achieve. Whatever feelings I am feeling today inside of me I am attracting tomorrow. So I fill my mind with what I want for myself and that includes for others. I fill my mind and my being with  more happiness, love, peace, acceptance, joy, confidence, competence, talents and abilities, health, wealth, positive power and achievement.

I concentrate on these things. I daydream about them.  I make it a point to see them, entertain them in my mind. I talk about them to myself, and I fill my moments with as much that is good and feels good and benefits myself and everyone as I am able. I know more will come tomorrow because of what I am doing today.

I have trained my mind.

No, I am not perfect, nope not at all. Don’t have to be. I am happier, healthier, wealthier all around better off because I feel more joy, acceptance, love, enjoyment and all sorts of marvelous things. Life is grand. I am so happy I decided to train my mind. It is more than worth it, it is ever so valuable. It is absolutely priceless  because no matter what effort it takes to train it, you get back so much more, infinitely more!

What I discovered when I decided to train my mind is that it works! It really, truly, actually works.” Rex Sikes

More to come, enjoy the day. Discover what you might do today to begin to find more incredible ways to appreciate each moment. Delight and celebrate.

By the way – as you read these blogs, if they speak to your heart, I hope you will implement what I have been sharing. It is life transformative. Go back and read these blogs again and again.

Fill your mind with positive messages and become inspired. Inspire others too! Share and help others feel better not just because you get back what you put out there but just because… celebrate and enjoy!

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train your mind to see good

 

 

 

 

Some Pics & Quotes

be happy for this moment

“Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute; what you can do or dream you can do, begin it! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it; only engage and then the mind grows heated; begin and then the work will be completed.” Goethe

a man sees in the world what he carries in his heart

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” Alice Walker

the one who falls and gets up

“If you think you can or you think you can’t you are right.” Henry Ford

all that we are arises with our thoughts

“Be here Now!” Ram Dass

patience and waiting

“Your circumstances my not be congenial but they will not long remain so if you perceive an ideal and strive to reach it.” James Allen

growth is

“The mind is everything. What you think you become.” Buddha

Finding Feelings

action moments

“The key to making each day the best is to look for and find the very best feelings you can find within yourself. No matter how small or seemingly insignificant find the best feeling and focus on it, accentuate it, nurture it.

Begin to wonder how delighted you can be to discover it increasing and spreading thought out your being and your experience. Encourage your best feelings and help them grow and bask in them. In doing this you are truly learning something of great importance.

You are learning you can choose to, and that you can experience the very best. Yes, it may take some time, you must be patient and expect wonderful results and stay positive.

You are training yourself in a number of important areas, scanning and looking to find the best you have and feel, focus of attention and learning to increase the feelings of well being and spreading them through your body. You are learning you actually have a say in what your experience is like.

You have a choice as to what you feel and what you encourage. These are valuable learnings because you get to have you life back, you get to make it what you want it to be. Begin today, and keep at it until you make it a habit.

You will have plenty of opportunities through out each and every day to remember to do this process. Keep at it as much as you can for a couple of months and you will have vastly improved your life.” Rex Sikes

Would you like to overcome problems and difficulties?

dark triple lightning stike offshore

 “What to do when challenges come your way and believe me they will. Small and large, expected and unexpected challenges will come at you as they always have. Many people think that because they start focusing on the positive nothing bad will happen. They think that all they will attract are golden rays of pleasant sunshine and that they will be difficulty free forever. That is not going to happen.

Even though challenges will be there in life it is still important to become a positive, resourceful person, to maintain a positive focus because you become what you think about.  When you become predominantly positive in your thinking you raise your vibratory level, you have more energy, you are able to see and take advantage of more opportunities, you have greater flexibility in behaviors and you have more resources. You are better equipped to respond to the challenges that come your way.

You do live differently. You think, feel, act, see and hear differently and since you are able to better recognize opportunity than ever before you begin to travel in new positive directions.

Still you will be challenged by situations and people. You car could break down, your bills pile up, your wife or husband, your ex, life partner, parents, children or in-laws, friends, colleagues and strangers can inflict damage all the while and, yet, you think positive. It could be easy to get discouraged at first because one expects the whole world to shift magically and that won’t happen. At least not at first.

So it is important to understand and recognize challenges for what they are. Challenges are really an opportunity to learn how to control your thinking and steer your mind. They are a signal to remind you to stay the course and hold fast to your positivity and will power.

When someone or something really becomes difficult, when you first face that big less than glorious moment, the temptation might be to give in and give up, to succumb to negative thinking, but please don’t do it. Stand fast to your commitment to find the very best thoughts to focus on.

When facing a challenge you may get caught up in, try to stop, take a breath, create a break space for yourself. Attempt to grab a moment to reflect. Sometimes this happens after that “crisis”moment. When it does, whenever it does. when you become aware that “crap” is goign on and that you don’t like it –  in that instant, that moment of awareness, make it a point to look for the silver lining in the darkness. Look for the lesson, the blessing, the seed of an opportunity in whatever hardship you face. It may not be readily apparent, but it will be there. To dismiss it and say there is none, is definitely not the wise choice. You may have to seek hard to find even the smallest positive possibility but DO IT! The ultimate long term benefits will be worth it.

Pulling oneself up by one’s own boot straps in this manner may be difficult but it also may be necessary from time to time. Whenever something upsets you look to quickly discover how you can feel differently about it. This is an important choice point for us. This is a moment when we can decide and make things stay the same or make them different and better.

In awareness opportunity is born. When, in the middle of a bad situation, you become aware that you are not responding as positively, or resourcefully asa you want begin to ask yourself questions or look for alternative ways to consider the situation.

Ask yourself questions about what you need to emphasize or extinguish that will make a positive difference in the situation? What resources do you have to overcome the difficulty? What lesson in this is there for you? Once you have gone through it successfully what might you look back and appreciate about the experience? What is good in this situation? If a person challenges you, what might they need and want but don’t know how to go about getting it, that if you could provide for them would make a difference in this moment? What are their good points to focus on? How can you appreciate this or them anyway in spite of what is going on? How quickly can you learn to not resist but accept and let go of trying to make it your way?

A key is to isolate what you pay attention to that is more positive that the disruption. Think of it this way – when sailing or driving one is constantly making adjustments to the wheel in order to stay on course. We are moving back and forth to keep moving forward. In the very same way when something comes along that is upsetting or depressing the key is to adjust back onto course as soon as you realize you are off course.

What brings you greater success in the long run is developing the ability to get right back on course when you are knocked of it. It is enhancing your correction making ability so you spend less down time in pain and suffering and more time getting where you want to go.

Forget about blaming yourself or feeling bad for going off course because that keeps you off course and sucks you into the negativity. Forget about blaming the world or the person because that keeps one off course and in victim mode.

All of us have done it. Things come up, we get caught up, we get the wind knocked out of us and then have blamed ourselves or others for falling down and not getting up right away. Forget that. Just get up and go on. Acknowledge, encourage and praise yourself that you recognized you were off course and that you DID get up. When you do this it makes it more likely the in the next tough time. Punishing yourself doesn’t help you to nurture a new skill. Recognizing and celebrating your positive awarenesses doe help develop the skill more quickly.

Be happy and celebrate that you recognized whenever it is you were off course. Plan to catch it sooner the next time. In this way we train ourselves to let go of the obstacle and look toward the solution, to leave behind the negative and move into the positive.

It is important that you understand what I am suggesting here. A challenge comes up – a problem, you acknowledge it and then look to the solution. You focus on what may be necessary or can be worked to bring it to resolution. Your focus is on making it better, not on the problem. If you recognize that there is a seed to discovering something wonderful in every challenge the challenge won’t be such a big deal. Good always can and does come from any situation when you seek to find it.

Keep this in mind too. It is not the act that is wonderful it may be horrible, bad things do happen. It is the learning, or meaning or understanding you derive from even the worst of situations that can be positive. It is the silver lining in the dark clouds you look to discover and focus on that.

It is the ability you develop to move away from the obstacle and toward the positive thinking and feeling that is a great benefit a great resource to have available. It is a talent anyone can develop.

Be thankful things and people come your way because these provide you with real life practice to develop your skill. This is the battle training zone and you are getting real life experience in adjusting your mind set from less than glorious to more than glorious. You are learning to make auto-corrections just as you did in your auto. (sorry about that pun). You are repeating success behaviors again and again, with the appropriate mind set for easy acquisition, so that you develop the habit of doing it. Then whenever you need the skill  you can find yourself doing what you learned to do reliably.

In creating positive habits we have to form them consciously. We decide to begin and then we practice with awareness. It means we have to repeat the act again and again correctly and then through time we learn to do it. Athletes know all about this form of training and conditioning their minds and bodies. It is not different than exercising your body. You do it over and over to get the results you want, you keep doing it and you being to see the benefits.

We undertake to  train ourselves to respond more positively, to look for the good, to find what is new and wonderful in situations. This may be very different from what we did growing up. It may seem foreign because it is not natural for us.

In training our mind, like our bodies, we deliberately exercise control so we learn that we have control and how to use it.

We did this when learning how to ride the bike and drive the car. As I pointed out, even when we think we are going straight down the road we are actually making micro adjustments all the time. Sometimes something happens and we have to make macro adjustments we swerve out of the way, or hit the breaks, or accelerate to navigate through a tense situation. It is the same thing with out positive thinking.

THIS is the key to understanding and doing.

I think a goal in life is to feel good as often as possible, to feel happy, joyous and free. In order to experience these things another goal is to discover you have choice. The goal is to have fun, let go, be all you can be, and learn how to better navigate the challenges in life.

When you keep your mind on the best positive thoughts about yourself and others and situations during the great times and the bad times you raise your vibratory level and you keep it high. Your life is more enjoyable when you vibrate with positivity. Hard times and people can suck that energy from us so it is important to learn how to keep it high and maintain it during all times.

In learning to maintain your thinking and energy you are able to go through trials and tribulations more resourcefully and easily. The situations may not change but you are better prepared for the challenge. Challenges are the opportunity to learn lessons from which you grow.

“The kite rises against the wind”. Without challenges we never know our strengths. The help us become wiser, better and stronger. We find out who we are when troubles exist. You may be tried by fire but when you recognize the great value of these lessons they become opportunities to enjoy and to really become free.

People may challenge you and push your buttons. Instead of hating them and sucking into resentment, revenge, negativity and anger learn to be grateful for this challenge.

When you begin to appreciate that a person or situation is a trigger for you to think, feel or act  in less than glorious ways then at some point you must realize that to be completely free you need to let go. You have to stop investing in the bad situation, you need to stop paying attention to the trigger and move beyond these things. You need to try to stop making it different, you need to stop attempting to make others different. You need to let it go! (we will discuss letting go in another blog post)

Instead of doing what you always do – do something different this time. Look for what you can appreciate in the other person. WOW that may be tough but that would be really different wouldn’t it? Find what you can appreciate and enhance it. The same applies to the situation. Surprise yourself by attempting something different. You don’t have to do it out loud, you do it inside your head.

One of the best things is to look for is what opportunity is present, that may be hiding, for you put your attention on? What opportunity is there for you in this for you to discover?

A brief example, I have had a person in my life who I really used to get bent out of shape with. It seemed their whole intent was to bring me down and aggravate me as often as they could. It seemed as if that was their purpose, at least I certainly felt it was. I would get so annoyed, even angry. I began to actually fear having any interactions because I knew how they would go and they would only be bad and I would end upset. This went on for more than a decade. I regretted knowing them and having any involvement with this person.

Then one day I made a decision to forgive them, accept them and love them for who they are. WOW, this seemed impossible at first and they kept their usual ways up. I had to remind myself again and again that this is just how they were and this is how it would always be so get used to it.

You see, I didn’t really accept the situation or the person, nor did I actually forgive the person yet, I just sort of had part way. At least, I made an attempt in the right direction. Things were somewhat better in me but still I was plagued with these annoying interactions.

Later, rather than sooner, but soon enough, it became clear to me that I was learning some important things about me by going through these numerous interactions. I learned I had these hot buttons, these areas that needed to be examined, if I wanted to be free. It became evident eventually that I was the one swallowing the bait and getting hooked into arguments no one was capturing me in a net. If I wanted to be free I had to change something. WOW, what an insight! “If it was to be it was up to me”. I was delighted I finally realized that in that moment.

In that instant, I realized the person was a mirror for me, a godsend, a provocateur, a blessing in my life and I began to celebrate and become thankful for the presence of this person. I had be presented over and over and over again the opportunity to be free from my getting hooked behavior, I just had not recognized it until this moment. I began to literally express gratitude for this person in my life and the lessons I was learning. Everything changed almost instantly.

I know what you are thinking did the other person change? NOPE absolutely not.

I changed. My response to the situations and interactions changed. I was free. No matter what the person did or didn’t do I was free, happy and positive. I continued and continue to celebrate and enjoy.

Then guess what. Because I no longer got hooked, because I was free the other person began to respond differently. Our interactions have been so much better. I no longer feel provoked or any of the feelings I used to feel and as a result I behave differently.

When the person bothered me I was bothered and I am certain I bothered the other person.What we put out comes back. I put out celebration and thankfulness and our communication has become much more easy and pleasant. I experience many more wonderful moments in life.

My point is don’t expect others or the situation to alter for you, alter yourself to find the best you have. Learn to love that these people or situations are in your life affording you the opportunity to learn something wonderful. They represent a big hurdle for you to get over. When you get over the big hurdle all the other ones are much more easy.

Stop negative thinking. The way you find something better is to scan you body, your mind, your environment for something better to put your attention on. Scan and look for positive reasons and motivations when bad things happen. Scan for choices other than the obvious one you would have normally first picked. Dig deeper to find the gold.

Find in yourself the ability to shift your attention from the wound to the healing. Shift your attention to all the positive reasons. Imagine that this situation or this person is there for you to learn how to control your thinking and feeling so that you ultimately become free. Consider, the situation or the person a blessing, someone helping you to awaken and change for the better.

Then no matter what the world offers you you can be free! No matter how people may challenge you or try to anger you or let you down you are no longer invested in feeling that. You are free! Whatever the other person does is not your concern. You let them be free to be whomever they are.You no longer get hooked. You call the shots in your life because you live and let live. Now you are no longer a victim but a victor.

No one has ever said it would be easy to change your thinking and feeling but it gets easier through practice in the same way your muscles grow through exercise. You get better and better at it. If you stay positive and practice positivity ultimately you become more positive. You get what you think about! The more positive you become the more positive you can become!

It is a conditioning process not a one time event. You will discover in making this practice yours that you will never have to let anything or anyone, small or large, including yourself, prevent you from becoming the person you are and can be.

This is great news because it means you are learning to control your own mind and your own life.You are creating a positive, powerful new habit through exercising and  conditioning your mind to be positive. When you get off course you  adjust back onto the course without criticizing yourself. This becomes a wonderful way to live!

You create a powerful new positive habit by recognizing the positive aspects in the challenges you face AND in yourself. Then instead of getting caught in the problem and the sucky feelings you have a way out. Above and beyond you travel finding resources, solutions and positive experience even in the tough times.

Keep on keeping on. Never let up and never give up, never. The prize is ultimately yours and there are wonderful changes and delights in store along the way.

You are becoming the captain of your soul and the master of your fate.” Rex Sikes

 

 

FORGIVENESS!!! WHY???

beautiful mountain path

“Wow this is something I have been learning all my life. I must admit I have not been very good at it. We grow up hearing things like ‘To forgive is divine’ and we understand somehow, possibly, that there is something better, higher, more beneficial, spiritual about being able to forgive someone. Then we hear statements suck as ‘I forgive but I will never forget’ which indicates that somehow we will let an offending party off the hook, but not really. We will always remember the hurt, the pain, the offense, whatever it may be we won’t let that go but we will accept that you may be sorry and we will forgive. This implies a certain power we have over others. It states, ‘I am offended but I am a big enough person to not hold it against you, I absolve you of your responsibility but I will also always remember what you did.’

The question becomes, if you do not let go of it, if you always remember it, how can that not color or influence your actions toward the other person, and not only toward them, but what are you carrying around inside yourself that affects you, perhaps, in less than positive ways. You are carrying a slight or hurt around somehow keeping it alive even if on a back burner somewhere. If I you gave me a forty pound rock and I said ‘it’s okay I forgive you for the 40 pound rock but I will never forget it but will carry it with me always/ that is significant.

Since we are using this example of the rock how many “I’ll forgive you but won’t forget” episodes are in your life. It seems one is more than enough but what if you carried two 40lb rocks or three or more? Do you see how your life would be altered, literally weighed down because you are unwilling to let go? This does not seem the best choice or use of one’s time or life. It would seem that if one were to forgive one should absolutely forget.

Yes, this may be difficult. Most of us are not raised learning and acquiring the art and skill of forgiving and forgetting. It would seem to me, because I have been there, that reliving or replaying past negative times does nothing to help one live today. I understand that there may be an important lesson in what happened and one can extract that but to replay something repeatedly that causes one to feel less than glorious is self abuse, self torture and I think that should be stopped.

We are not taught well. We are not  taught how to forgive ourselves and let go of or forget our past disappointments and upsets. Forgiving oneself honestly and completely makes the most sense, after all, we are all amateurs at being human. We did not come with an owner’s manual, we make our way by trial and error, we grope around blindly in the darkness of daily living unsure what the correct course of action is. For some reason however we hold ourselves accountable or blame ourselves for not being perfect, for not knowing or acting better when we didn’t and actually couldn’t because we didn’t have the information on how to think or act ‘correctly’ at the time it was needed.

We just did whatever we did and there were unwanted or unintended consequences for ourselves and we then blame ourselves for not being better than we were. This cycle of self blame is silly but one most of us have engaged in because we don’t really know any other way to be. We aren’t schooled in love and forgiveness and acceptance and allowing and receiving as perhaps we could and should be.

So we blame others and ourselves for problems we have during events and situations or circumstances. The fact is we blame. Then we somehow manage to say, ‘Okay, I will forgive you but I will never forget what you did’. I am not suggesting we should not hold people accountable for their actions I think we should. I think people need to take responsibility for their behaviors and actions especially when it causes harm in whatever manner to another. Then at some point there does come a time to forgive and let go of it. The idea of punishment is that it fits the “crime” and that it is just and for a particular duration and then punishment ends.

Punishment can’t end if one never lets go. It is the equivalent of the Scarlett Letter. Forever one is doomed to go through life with a reminder of the injury. That may seem fair to some and unjust to others. For me, that is how I had lived my life for a long time.

One day I thought about the story of Jesus on the cross. For some people this is an historical event and the basis of salvation for others a story or myth. I won’t take sides here, that is not my purpose and while some would blame me saying that “it doesn’t indeed matter”, I am only interested in the human side of the story in the context of this discussion. Whether it is or is not anything more than a story, for our purposes I believe we can learn something important from the record of the “alleged” event.  That is how I proceed.

While on the cross, after being brutally tortured in unimaginable ways, and then further injured by being put on the cross Jesus uttered “Forgive them for they know not what they do”. Again, I point out that I am leaving out any spiritual salvation messages regarding this and extract the meaning or significance of the sotry that dawned on me. Certainly, I am not the first to have this insight but for me it was a first just to have it.

Jesus forgave his tormenters, while in incredible pain and suffering he asked that they be forgiven for all of their actions against him (I assume). He forgave them all of their actions. He followed it up with “They know not what they do.” It seems he felt that they didn’t understand the immediate impact of their actions or the spiritual ramifications of their actions. Whatever he meant, any and all of it, he simply said “forgive them they know not what they do”.

One day that struck me hard. I thought, “Wow, IF Jesus, in that horrible moment could forgive how come I didn’t in my life?”

I have tormenters and tough times but no physical parallel to what he was going through at that moment. Whether historical or only a story to serve as an example by authors this example spoke deeply to me. He forgave them in the height of his misery. When they had done their worst and it was ongoing hell for him, in spite of all of this, he said forgive them.

The addition of “For they know not what they do” spoke loud to me too. He forgave and didn’t blame them. He didn’t say, “Forgive this ruthless bunch of uncaring horrific people who should know better …” he said, “They know not what they do” and I bet they did. When they were beating him and pounding nails into him, calling him names, torturing, tormenting, killing him I bet they knew exactly what they were doing and intending to do. Jesus, however, treated them as if they did not. This for me is the key.

He forgives and he holds blameless.

In fact, he went further to provide a reason for the forgiveness. They don’t know what they are doing so they should be forgiven. He says, don’t hold them accountable they are ignorant, they are unaware of their actions and the consequences of their actions. They don’t know what they are doing so forgive them.

I mean really? He not only forgave them but he provided an excuse for them. He justified his request by stating that they were ignorant thus entitled to be forgiven

It seems it did not matter to Jesus whether the reality was that they did or didn’t know what they were doing, what truly mattered was to forgive them.

I repeat. It seemed it didn’t matter at all why they did whatever they did to him, the point was to forgive them.

He excused them to the Father. He justified the request for forgiveness to the Father. “Forgive them they know not what they do” Frankly, they couldn’t know the ramifications whether there were any spiritual ones or not in this event. How could they? According to the story, the report, they thought they were doing the right thing by crucifying a pretended, a false messiah, a poser. Even if they didn’t believe that and they were simply bad ass and criminal, certainly they weren’t trying to mess with God.

My point is – Jesus’ forgiveness had nothing to do with what was in the hearts and minds of the people who hurt and were killing him, it was what was going on in Jesus’ heart and mind.

He forgave these people everything. Whether or not they were deserving in reality, he decieded they were. He let it go. He didn’t blame he excused them. I repeat, my thought was “WOW, if he could do this at such an incredibly horrific moment, why can’t I begin to do it in my daily life?”

This is why I am not discussing salvation or not . It is not because I do or don’t believe it is important but I am discussing an insight I had into a scripture, and whether it is non-fiction or only fiction doesn’t alter my insight. I hope the readers may understand where I come from on this point without further discussion of it. Said plainly, if it were nothing more than a fairy tale and absolutely nothing more I got a powerful life lesson from it and I am incredibly grateful.

There are, and there have been people who rub me the wrong way, I have tormenters, people who repeatedly caused me grief in my life, friends, relatives, strangers whom, for whatever reason, have done things to harm me mentally, emotionally, physically all for whom this lesson applies. I have harbored grudges, wished the worst on them, talked about these people to other people, about what a problem they were, thought about them, argued with myself over them and frequently found myself frustrated, angry, or sad because of my thoughts about them and our interactions.

Then Jesus words struck me. “Forgive them they know not what they do”. It doesn’t matter if they do or they don’t know what they do or are trying to do, it is my choice to excuse them.

In some ways they truly can’t know what they do. If one thinks of a television set in your family room or wherever it might be, what is on the screen is available information. Everything outside of the TV set screen is also present and available but not being considered. The focus is what is on the screen.

When news people film an incident they focus on the people or the event in the camera, but in life, this event is happening with all sorts of things around it that we never get to see. For example, if it occurs on a street corner, we may see the corner, the people involved, etc., and a few witnesses, but the camera never pulls back to reveal everyone else and everything else. The reporter speaks with a few but not with all the people. My point is that there is a context within a context. We don’t ever have access, at any time, to all the possible information. There are always things left outside of our awareness.

It has been said that consciousness is like a flashlight in a dark room, and that we can only pay attention to what is spotlighted in the beam. As it moves around the room we see more things it spotlights but we never see everything at once. This is my point. We don’t know everything even when we sometimes are convinced we do. We don’t really know what is in the hearts and minds of others though we act as if we do, we assume we know and we assign motives to others. Sometimes we are more accurate than other times and there are many instances when we are way off base.

What Jesus said and did took all that into account and made it not matter. He forgave and he excused. It is not about who he forgave and why they were doing what they were doing or why they needed forgiveness it was his act and his alone. He forgave and he excused. He forgave and let go. I thought, “if he can forgive at the worst moment I should be able to forgive in some of my moments.”

So I did. I thought about the people who I felt at odds with one by one. I imagined them and I forgave them. I thought “This person doesn’t know what they are doing and it doesn’t matter I forgive this person” and I showered the person with love. I began to feel grateful for the challenges I faced. I began to see these difficult interactions with difficult people as learning opportunities. As I did these things, in that moment, I realized it was an opportunity for me to let go as completely as I was able to. I forgave and began to appreciate the person/s.

An incredible transformation transpired. As a result,  I am freer than ever, lighter, and able to move through life without getting caught up as much. When things happen, as I become aware of it, I think forgiveness and shower love. It is not always easy in the moment as I am still learning this.

At night or at other times I can do it when I’m not with the person face to face AND I am getting better during real time encounters. Jesus did it at the height of his suffering and I am learning that any instance it is an opportunity to forgive, to let go, be free, and to get grateful.

I now can appreciate the other person or the situation that arises and understand that if it is something I don’t like I actually have choices. For example I am much happier now than every in my life. This does not mean bad things don’t happen. They do, it rains on the good and bad the rich and poor alike. When less than glorious events occur I realize I don’t have to feel bad just because something bad has happened. I can feel happy if I want to.

Some people think I’m crazy. Why would you be happy about bad things? Let me be clear, I am not happy about bad things or bad people I am happy even when bad things happen or people come along and rain on the parade. I have a choice now about how I respond to bad things and people. I have a choice!

For example, If I am happy and something bad happens why must that dictate that I can no longer feel happy? Why must I feel bad? I know I used to let events affect me, and many people still do, but I have come to the conclusion that this is our conditioning from growing up with people who emphasize that the world around us, others or events should dictate our mood.

Then I look and see people with nothing incredibly happy. I see  people who have lost the use of their arms, legs, eyes, ears, their entire body who are still outrageously happy. There are  people who have suffered great injustices, or who have been held captive and yet they are happy. Then it dawned on me, maybe it is not dictated that we have to feel a bad when bad things happen.  Maybe it is only because we have not learned that there ARE alternatives. Perhaps, we have choices we never exercise. If this is the case basically we are choiceless.

The moment comes when one realizes, “I can choose other alternatives, I can learn to fight my conditioning”, or le”I can learn to recondition my mind and my awareness”. From this awareness a new decision can be made.

The one I made was If I am happy, and something comes along that is less than glorious why would I ever decide to be unhappy? Why would I let it affect me that way? Why must I respond as some Pavlovian dog?

Maybe there is an actual reason, I am sure some can come up with a few or many, but for me I now began to think, “why not remain happy and handle the situation from that happy state?”

It makes more sense. When you are happy and energetic you have greater ease of access to your own personal resourcefulness. Your thinking is clearer so you are better equipped to handle bad times or crises when you are in an optimum state. When one is angry, bored, sad, or depressed it is not as easy to think clearly or have the energy required to change things. So I decided that I would choose to be happy.

Returning to the notion of forgiveness once I learned I could forgive and that I could even practice forgiveness in an ongoing situation, lots of positive changes occurred for me. I did feel happier, freer, and it became clear that if I was going to feel better it was directly related to what I thought and what I did.

What my thoughts are determine how I feel and behave. When I harbored grudges or saw the people as terrible people, or unwanted people in my life causing me grief, I wasn’t as happy or free. Once I realized if I wanted my life to change I realized I had to change things about me. I had to change how I thought, how I saw things, how I felt, how I acted, what I said.

As the saying goes, If it’s to be it is up to me”.  So I decided I had to become the captain of my fate. I had to be the pilot of my plane, set my course and determine how I was going to get there. I had to  take charge of how I thought and what I thought about during each day, each moment

I realized then that what we focus on we get. What we focus on we get back and we get more of it back because it actually expands and we become what we think about. If my thoughts are occupied with hurt, sadness, suffering, revenge, grudges, trying to scheme to get even, disappointment, failures, then I will feel bad. I will feel worse because thoughts attract like thoughts. When you think one negative thought about yourself you brain takes it as – “oh, you want this? Well here, let me give you some countless more examples of how your screwed up, or how you are not enough”. You know what, I no longer wanted that.

So I chose to focus on what I do want. What is it I want more of in my life right now and in my future? I realized that the thoughts one thinks today creates your present and your future so I chose to think the best thoughts about my present and my future.

Sure there are things I don’t like going on but I notice them and draw my attention to what I can find to like about that situation and to I seek to find the best feelings I can in the moment.

My goal is to feel the best I can throught out the day and not let anything impinge on it. This does not mean I ignore things or not deal with things, rather it means I steer my thoughts to aspects that are positive. It means looking for the silver lining in the dark clouds.

The way I have learned to do this is through gratefulness. I have learned  to appreciate what I have and what I want. I have learned to be thankful for whatever happened in my past because brought me this far and I am still here. By adopting this mind set it re-codes all of my experiences as things that were necessary to move me along. I don’t even care whether this is accurate or not. It simply feels right.

I find I can appreciate anything and everything and this is where I return to the notion of forgiveness.

When I can forgive and really let go of these tormenting people is when I can appreciate them fully. When I can fully appreciate them then I can be free of the burden being angry or upset with them for any pain they caused me. If I can really appreciate different aspects of the person or the challenge they present then I can more easily feel grateful to them for what I am learning as a result. It is evolutionary and for me revolutionary.

Hence I can more easily forgive and forget. There is motive to forgive and forget. It allows me to live life with more freedom, with more love, peace, happiness, contentment and less angst, hostility and bondage. I suffer less and enjoy more when I let go and forgive. It really isn’t about the other person at all, in a lot of ways.

It occurred to me one day that my life was okay. It was not everything I wanted but it was okay. I had ups and downs all along the way and I was never truly happy. I thought from time to time I was. I learned how to be happier, and I became happier. Then at one point it occurred to me that I was great at getting what I didn’t want but not so good at getting what I did want. I went from one bad time to the next. I went through bad events, situations and disappointments wondering why I had such bad luck, when it suddenly occurred to me that maybe I had something to do with it.

I realized that my thoughts, what I thought, how I thought it, what I spent most of my time thinking, brought me to where I was. I realized that to continue to think the same or in similar ways would carry keep it the same way into my future. I realized then if I continued as I was nothing would change. I had to change something. So I decided to change my thinking.

Previously, I would have thought it was others that was the cause of my discomfort but now I saw that my own thinking was the issue.

So I began to determine what I wanted and focused on these things instead of what I didn’t want. I determined to find the small and large things that occur each day that I could celebrate, rejoice, appreciate, and once found to keep looking for more. I determined to find the best feelings I could find and find a way to feel even better. Celebration and gratitude really helped because once I started focusing on good things and really appreciating them I did start to feel much much better.

Then came forgiveness. I practice letting go. I started allowing things to be without trying to control them. I forgave, I let go, I excused.

It is an ongoing process. It never ends but it has become easier and more enjoyable and I am happier and more free now than ever.

I leaned important things about self forgiveness too.

When I would still get hooked into an argument or went off feeling less than glorious or when I found myself thinking thoughts I didn’t want to be thinking, those that seemed to return again and again while I struggled to gain control I would forgive and excuse myself.

I’d remind myself, “I am new to this, I am not perfect”. I made it a point to remember that I am and a beginner at it. I am learning and these challenges are important lessons. Then I found I can appreciate the opportunity to learn from and I can be different as a result. I forgive myself because I am not perfect, and I am evolving and I don’t have all the information.

I can’t see past the TV screen into all things. I trust that all things work together for good and that I am remaining positive, happy and free in spite of what goes on around me. I choose to be happy. AND I choose to be happy when I do something other than what I intended. When I screw up, I examine it , learn from it and benefit.

The Golden Rule states “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

What I learned from the Golden Rule is I would hope others would forgive me for when I am a bone head or when I do wrong things. I hope they would get over it, let it go and forgive and completely accept me with my imperfections. I would hope that they would feel good about me and hold me in the highest possible esteem. I hope they would want me happy and healthy and wealthy and to have all good things. So how can I wish anything less to anyone else.

The wellness I derive is from silently wishing the best for the people in my life, the difficult people in my life and people I encounter. I attempt to “Do unto others” FIRST “ the way I want to considered and treated. That makes everything just so more pleasant. Because I again remind that what we think about we become, what we focus on we get, it expands and attracts more of the same. I want the very best so I offer the very best to others first.

I have learned to extend this to me as well. Why not? I am the other person as well. I wish for me all good things, all blessings, and forgiveness. “What we sow we reap”, and I want to reap the very best. I know the thoughts of yesterday brought me here. The thoughts today create my future. I want to have the most incredible future filled with love, happiness, joy, acceptance, all good things spiritual, emotional, mental and physical. So I keep on focusing on these things and what I am able to do to make my life wonderful.

Think the best thoughts, feel the best feelings, be free, forgive and forget, let go of anything that doesn’t create a better you and a better future. Celebrate and appreciate, enjoy and delight, and spread it to everyone including myself. It’s not always easy but it is possible. And it becomes a habit. A good habit to have. Once it is a habit it is far easier. Persistence pays off. You do get what you focus on and you do become what you think about.

Think about that!

My feeling is if Jesus at his worst moment could forgive, I should be able to in my daily life.

Even, if as some believe it was only a fairy tale, the example in the story is a potent one

If we follow some of the other statements on the cross we get – “Why have you forsaken me?” Which, as I think about it in this context, means that he, as a human, was alone in his suffering. He had no divine power to rescue him. No divine power to forgive. Yet, he forgave, As I think about it this makes it even more poignant an example. He accepted his situation and faced it all by himself

Many of us pray to be rescued or for some on or some thing to avenge us but it seems Jesus, in his last hours, felt the hopelessness we all do, perhaps even much worse than many of us do. He was Hopeless and helpless on the cross suffering yet he was forgiving and excusing those who put him there.

Then he states “Not my will but yours” meaning he accepted his fate, this condition, the inevitable. He allowed it he did not fight it. It was what it was.He did not resist.

Most of us attempt to change our circumstance when it gets uncomfortable rather than go through them. When possible that is not a bad choice. Still, we should learn something about acceptance, about allowing what is

I can hope and pray and fight and resist forever that a particular person leave me alone and I may never get that answered that way/ That may never happen. That person may still persist or an unwanted circumstance persist OR arise that is really terrible and hard to get through it.

Things are as they are, the people around us may never change no matter how we hope and pray, the circumstances may never get any better so what can one do. Fight for ever. Live with the stress.

One can be dismayed or unhappy or one can accept that is how it is and that it will never change, so why let it affect your happiness?. If it is going to go on, no matter what, why choose to be unhappy about it? Why not accept it, allow it and go about your life anyway choosing to be happy rather than distressed? It is your choice, after all.

I won’t say it is easy. Learning acceptance and non-resistance may be as difficult as learning to truly forgive and forget.

In fact, I never am saying this is easy but it gets easier as one does it and it certainly is possible to do. It is not impossible.

The question is whether you start today? If you never begin to take charge of yourself and make your life what you want it to be it will always be has it has been.  As long as others and circumstances dictate how you think, feel and behave, and what you possess you will be a victim not a victor.

Times are tough, yet people in war torn countries, can be happy, there are happy people living in poverty while there are millionaires, made in every depression and economic upheaval, that are fat rich cats in ivory towers with everything one can imagine, who are miserable, depressed and angry. There are lottery winners who are unhappy or who end up loosing all their money and end up worse than before getting it.

There are people from everyday walks of life who have learned how to be happy. These people manage to inspire themselves and others. We should choose these as examples to emulate, if we chose any examples at all to follow.

There are those all around us who are negative and miserable regardless. We should realize “it” isn’t out there, “it” comes from within. The world, the events, the people that we think are the cause of our suffering and unhappiness will always be. Happiness comes from within us and  it is how we think and respond to those. There are people suffering while held in captivity that give up and there are those who remain hopeful and optimistic.

When wee realize we have a choice then we have a decision to make. Either we keep doing what we are doing and things remain the same or we change what we are doing in order to get the changes we want to have. If you always think as you have always thought you get nothing new at all. When you change your thinking you can begin to entertain and find new things to explore.  When each of us understand that we are the product, the end result, of what we think, then either we keep going as we have been or we change it. This is the decision we face.

Happiness is a choice as is forgiveness. Creating a future or living in the past is a choice. Letting go or harboring resentment is a choice.  Enjoying or abhorring your present is a choice.

I have experienced a freedom and wonderful opportunities when I began practicing deliberate control of my thought and feelings.

decided to think the best of the situations, the people and myself. I began and continue to look for the best in my past, even the horrible times, to discover that I made it through those, and I was still here and that each moment back then was a stepping stone to now.

I decided to think about the best in my present and focus on discovering the wonderful things each day. I decided to focus on what I want to include in my future, what I’d like and what I’d like more of and how it feels to have these. These are ongoing decisions I have made and I make then each moment too.

My thoughts are not just about things or situations or people, but personal attributes about who and how I want to be now and in my future. I decided to be thankful for everything and everyone, regardless, and to shower the people in my life and those I encounter with love, peace, acceptance and joy. I decided to go first and forgive my self and others and to let go, to excuse and accept us as we are so I can move forward without carrying any baggage. I decided that whatever life throws to me to accept. I now look for the silver lining, I seek the best, and to find opportunity where I might have not thought to look. I decided to stay at it no matter what and to never quit. I am not claiming to be good at any of this, but my life has changed as a result. I mention myself only to state that I know for myself that this is now possible. I would never have thought that to be the case, but it is. I feel very blessed to finally awaken to these things, if only just a little.

Recently, there were some pretty tough challenges. I found myself falling back on these decisions and living from my new choices. I discovered myself delighted to realize I had come a long positive way in my journey and that I felt better and happy in spite of what went on around me. It was going to go on anyway why not go through it happy and trusting that things would work out for the best no matter what? I found myself at times thinking of some things that weren’t as productive as I like but I steered my thoughts to what I did want to think about. If the former returned I’d again steer my thinking to what I want instead. Sometimes it may seem like attempting to control a wild horse, but with patience, and peace and acceptance and forgiveness and acknowledgment and nurturing, I could do what I wanted to do. What would have been a struggle in years past was no struggle at all.

There were times that were more challenging than other times but through it all I knew I would find the best. Someone once said, “When the going gets tough the tough get going” which relates to this other saying, “When the going gets tough you get what you practice”.

If you persistently practice loving kindness, happiness, forgiveness, celebration you get it back when you need it. If you are never challenged you don’t learn how to have it in those  trying times. Every moment becomes an opportunity to learn and better enjoy life.

After all it is, or may be, the only life we have. I decided I wanted to have a say in what kind of life it is going to be and determined to make it wonderful. It is! Even when the  circumstances are not good life can still be wonderful. This is the point I became aware of and that I have been trying to make.

Jesus was in the worst of circumstances yet he was able to allow and forgive. When we learn to do as Jesus did our life does improve. Give it a try and then stick with it and you will discover so many marvelous benefits. No one can convince you, only you will convince yourself as you do when you discover these for yourself. I figure if Jesus could do it at the very worst in his life I ought to be able to do it in as many circumstances as possible. For me it has made an incredible difference. I am certain it will for you to.

Blessings and Peace.” Rex Sikes

Some Great Encouragement

“Some advice to you dreamers! Take action, keep Faith and things will fall into place! If you dont do anything about it then your dreams must not be big enough! Its now or never. … dont regret it in the future. Take a leap of Faith and make it happen. Dont be afraid of failure. Failure is not an option for those who are serious. God bless you all!” By Julie Thoummavong

Learn from those who are already happy and successful!

be patient things will change for the better

“Learn from those who are what you want to be, do what you want to do and have what you want to have.

Here is an interesting thought.

Rich people seek and take advice from people who are richer than they are. Poor people seek and take advice from their friends who are as broke as they are.

If you want to be able to do something, anything, from being successful to being happy seek and take advice from those who are already experiencing what you want to be able to be, do or have. This is the beginning of being wise.

Seek the higher energy, the highest energy in making things happen.” Rex Sikes

Subscribe to Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!  Visit often & please share with others!

 

Welcome to Daily Inspiration & Gratitude!

I AM - circle of resources

“Welcome to Daily Inspiration & Gratitude!

Is your experience and life less than everything you had hoped and wanted it to be? Do you feel like you have lost your direction?  Are their times when you wake up and dread getting up,  going to work and facing your day?  Do you feel like a robot going through the motions?  Do you feel your life lacks meaning?  Are you not having all the fun you want to have?

If your answer to any of these questions is yes then it is time for you to make a change. You have come to the right place. You shouldn’t have to experience life as unfulfilling when it can be quite wonderful. You don’t have to go through life feeling unsatisfied or unfulfilled. You can begin feel greater joy.  You can discover your purpose and begin to experience all that a wonderful life has to offer.

I’m Rex Sikes, and I can help you get back on track. From the time I was small I felt like life was a struggle. I had hopes and dreams but was convinced that bad luck followed me wherever I went. I didn’t know how to make my dreams come true and felt stuck, stupid and alone as I watched others get what they wanted.  I was unhappy for years. I was competitive and frequently envious.  After years of searching and reading every self-help book I could get my hands on my life totally fell apart. I hit the very bottom.

But it was at the bottom I discovered the answer. From a disaster in my life I learned that there is no reason to continue life in an unhappy way. I learned a way to move from feeling down, angry and stuck to living powerfully and joyfully. I changed and so can you! You can change starting today. You can discover your purpose and feel better.

sometimes we need to be shaken up

Whether your life is going really well or whether it is far less than you want it to be you can have more enjoyment than you may have ever imagined. You might not know that but you can! AND you deserve to!  Life can be glorious.

I have a process to go about accomplishing it. What took me 25 years to discover, can be taught to you in a matter of weeks. I devoted my life from that moment on to finding all the best ways to make changes and to enjoy life. I have spent most of my time studying with ‘gurus’, attending live training and seminars, reading books, listening to tapes, watching videos and helping others by sharing what I learned.

I have been mentoring and guiding scores of people in private coaching session and workshops and seminars ever since. I am sharing what has transformed my life and countless others around the world right here with you.

But, first things first.  Subscribe and follow my blog. Visit here daily.

This is a great place to begin and end your day with positive inspirational messages. This is a great place to fill your mind and being with thoughts,  ideas and possibilities.

For this purpose I’ll be sharing pictures, sayings, articles, quotes & all things inspirational for you to enjoy and share with others. Many of these blog posts contain excerpts from the rough draft of my forthcoming book.

Use these thoughts and images to take inspiration from, to become motivated, and to learn and delight in some great insights. Some things you will already be familiar with and other things may be new to you.

All of us can enjoy seemingly magical results when we fill our minds and moments through our day with positive thoughts and feelings. This blog is designed for just this purpose. I’ll show you how.

when u want to succeed as much as you want to breath

‘We become what we think about most often’.

SO can you spare a moment right now to become more delighted? Will you invest your energy in your own self?

There are so many wonderful inspiring thoughts and actions and things to experience in this incredible world.  Many people miss these because they are too caught up and busy. They are too engaged with what is wrong or going wrong to notice what is right.

I can show you how you can begin to think and feel differently. I’ll share with you how to gain control over those destructive things you say to yourself so that you get free. Then I will let you in on those things you can be saying instead and how you say them to get the best results.  You can begin to feel all sorts of wonderful positive joyous feeling. You can awaken each day with a renewed sense of well being and much more delightful energy. Isn’t it marvelous?

There is so much to be thankful for.  I wonder how many little things you could find right this moment to celebrate today? Did you know that when you do this regularly on a daily basis you can experience profound positive changes in your life? You can find new ways to think and be and feel that make life more wonderful.

SO look around! Most people don’t when they are feeling down or less than glorious. Many people don’t when everything is okay because they are caught up in their day to day routine.

When you begin to look around and notice who and what is around you, in your life you that can be grateful for AND you stop and appreciate these your life begins INSTANTLY to change. Doing this purposely and regularly will begin to make a great difference for you.

life is an echo

Isn’t it great? You can discover all the little things that are good and new in each moment. Here is another quick tip you can use that can be of immense help in transforming your present experience. You can use it right away and get some immediate positive results. Of course, over time when you get the knack of doing it you can really experience its effectiveness.

All you have to do is ask yourself, ‘What is good and new right now?’ Then look (really look around your life experience) and find out what you notice in the moment. Notice what is good and new. Then ask again. See how many things you can find that are actually good and new right now. IF you have never done this before deliberately you may want to stick with it a while to get good at it. Don’t give up.

When you first begin doing this you are deliberately looking in ways you don’t routinely look. It may seem foreign, or even silly. It might seem delightful and powerful. The point is you are deliberately looking for new thoughts to think and feel. You are taking an inventory in the present of what is good and new instead of what is the same that sucks. SO  do it and keep doing it.

The more you ask this the easier it will be for you to discover many marvelous moments that make up your day. ‘What is good and new?’

You can accomplish anything when you set your mind on a positive course. If you keep at it and don’t give up you can become the person you want, do the things you feel important and have whatever you want to have in life.

The only person who can make that difference in your life is YOU. It would be truly sad if you don’t take the little time it takes to make your life so much better. If you do nothing about it nothing will change. For your life to change you must change some things in your life.

everyday u make a choice

You are today where your thoughts have brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

Use this blog to find that encouragement. Discover that life can be truly delightful. Stick with it,  persist and make your dreams come true. You deserve to! Life is grand!

If you aren’t yet experiencing all the good things you hope to, if you aren’t yet the person you want to be – use this blog to help make these things come true for you. They can and they really will!

Fill your mind with positive good things every moment you can during your day and you will find life opening up to you.

Keep this important thought in your mind and it can transform you!

‘We become what we think about. A person is what they think about all day long’.

It’s already true. We are where our thoughts have brought us. If that is wonderful great! If you don’t like where you are – realize this – you can change your thoughts and have the future you want to have.

what holds u back is who u think u are not

Remember this and be sure you are thinking what you want to think so you become the person you want to be. ‘We become what we think about most often.’

Take this to heart and keep it in the forefront of your mind to guide you to selecting the thoughts you want to think.

Follow, Subscribe and  visit often.  Share with others and transform yourself.

There is so much more that follows this page so stay tuned daily.” Rex Sikes

All pages and text COPYRIGHT © Rex Steven Sikes & Rex Sikes Entertainment, LLC 2014-2016. Images used with permission. Individual images, photographers and contributors retain their copyrights. No claims are made for these. Please respect all.

DISCLAIMER

This Publisher has strived to be as accurate and complete as presenting the information within these pages. While all attempts have been made to verify information provided in this blo site publication and all individual blog posts and pages, the Publisher assumes no responsibility for errors omissions, or contrary interpretation of the subject matter herein.

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are unintentional. There are no guarantees of income made. Readers are cautioned to reply on their own judgment about their individual circumstances to act accordingly.
Daily Inspiration & Gratitude, the author, the website, blog, posts and pages  are not intended for use as a source of legal, business, accounting or financial advice, medical or psychological advice. All readers are advised to seek the services of competent professionals in the legal, business, accounting, finance, medical and psychological fields.