Tag Archives: Forgiveness

What Should I Do When I Screw Up?

horizon footsteps in snow

“Have you ever let yourself down? You wanted to do one thing but did another? You made some progress in a given area only to fall back into old behaviors? Have you disappointed yourself? Has this ever happened to you?

A coaching client of mine came to me frustrated stating, ‘I struggle to stay positive. Sometimes I am able. Sometimes I succumb to less than glorious thoughts and feelings. I let myself down in my program. I am frustrated and feel bad. Sometimes things are great and sometimes all hell breaks loose. It shouldn’t. I disappoint myself. What to do?’

The following constituted my answer. Happily, by applying these insights this person got over many hurdles and has gone on to accomplish some really fantastic things in career and life.  You can do anything with the right mind set. Remember, all things work together for good!

Forgive yourself

Be gentle, be kind and be accepting. It is okay. All things are possible. You are on a journey. There is no expectation of perfection. Forgive yourself and continue on. When you fall get up.

The only thing that happened was that you fell. Don’t judge it. Don’t be critical because you fell. Be thankful you didn’t get very hurt. If you did nurture yourself and take care to heal.

If when you fell you hurt others. Get up. Own up. Apologize and make amends. Make good. Take responsibility. Look them in the eye and assure them it won’t happen again. Do your best to keep your promise. AND keep your promise!

None of what I am saying is about letting yourself off the hook if you did wrong. It is all about responsibility and taking care not to repeat. There are ways to do this that move you along further more swiftly and there are ways that keep you stuck and repeating mistakes.

I want to help you discover how you can more easily and readily change in the positive ways you desire.

Nothing Is Wrong In Falling Down

Nothing is wrong about failing to do what you hoped to as long as you stay with it. If you quit, if you throw in the towel and give up, then, yes, you failed. You stopped by your own choice.

If you are going to do that then forgive yourself. You made a decision. Accept it, own it, be responsible for your choices. It is entirely okay. That is what you decided. Give yourself some credit.

Do not blame or criticize yourself or others. If later, you decide to try again so be it. If not, so be it. Just accept that you have the power to decide. Decide to live without blame and criticism. Decide to live with love and light and life. Decide to celebrate everything.

Everyone Falls Down Sometime

So what? Get up and go on if that is what you chose to do. As long as you continue to assert yourself, as long as you attempt to continue you are learning and growing. You are a work in progress. Make many mistakes. That is fine. Attempt not to make the same mistakes more than once.

If you make the same one again and again keep working to change it. Realize you have some efforting to do and accept it. Focus on what you want instead of the mistake and gradually you will make it less and less. You need to develop some new habits and new ways.

Aim at what you want. Stop trying to avoid at what you don’t want. When you slip up for self and others do what has already been suggested. Make good. Don’t criticize yourself and move forward.

You are growing and evolving. Accept that wherever you are IS where you are. It is right where you should be given the choices you have made. All systems require correction. Your thermostat changes and corrects for temperature fluctuations. It gets feedback from environment and makes adjustments.

Use Changes As Feedback And Course Correct

So if you make a mistake, or you get off your chosen course you correct it. Don’t judge, correct and move forward. Don’t add insult to injury by criticizing yourself for being human. Being human means getting up and falling down and getting up again. Any negative commentary is unnecessary.

If you find yourself commenting in negative ways stop it when you become aware of it. Don’t go into a recursive loop of criticizing yourself for criticizing yourself. Many people do this and it is unfortunate. Stop blaming it does absolutely nothing of value.

Free yourself of this and go on. Love and accept everything about yourself and stop judging your progress. Don’t try to be further ahead. You will get there when you get there. Accept and continue to move forward. Comparisons can cause pain. There is no need to compare.

Step By Step You Get Closer To Your Destination

Bite by bite you get nearer to completing the meal. Drop by drop the tub is filled. You will get there. Don’t let mistakes, obstacles, challenges or influences bring you down. If they do, accept it and move on when ready. Ease up on yourself.

The sooner you keep going the easier it is. ‘Get back up on that horse!’ and keep on riding. Soon enough you will get the hang of it. We may always make mistakes, so what? We may always have difficulty, so what? Expect the best of yourself. Remain optimistic. Be positive and have faith. You can do it.

Accept That You Are Wonderful

Through it all we can learn to and have an incredible life. We can be filled with light and life and love. We can celebrate all and our joy can know no bounds. As you positively progress, as you become more aware, congratulate yourself for the positive changes.

Acknowledge, validate, celebrate and be thankful. Encouragement in the positive direction will help you move forward faster. Delight and live with more joy. Make this part of your purpose. Have fun.

It is all within each of us, the capacity to discover your true nature, your true power and your true gifts. You will find that you are absolutely worthy and deserving. No need to think otherwise. You are wonderful, accept it and enjoy it!” Rex Sikes

Discover what is good and new about today and have some fun!

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PSS  A great practice is read the posts daily and then go back and re-read from time to time. You will discover things you missed the first few readings. Try it, you will be surprised.

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*Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Stop Living In Pain! Connect The Dots To Feeling Better

suffer more in imagination than reality

“Have you ever played connect the dots? You know, you start at one dot and follow each until an image emerges. Will you do it with your life? Can you look back and see how each event that stands out in your mind and each decision you made has lead to where you are right now?

At each historic event in your life there may have been many pathways to alternate results. Can you see how your decisions at each point have lead you to where you are today? Can you see that? While it may appear there were any number of possible choices and outcomes can you see that given your decision you are right where you are supposed to be?

I do not mean you were predestined nor do I mean someone other than you is dictating the outcomes. What I mean is given the choices you have had in your life can you, or are you willing to see, looking back, how the decisions you made were stepping stones to the present?

I’ll give you an example. I had someone I deeply loved who broke up with me as a young man. I was horribly crushed. I didn’t want a future without her. Had she not broken up with me I would not have the incredible children I have today.

While it may be true I may have had other children and been happy had we stayed together we did not. What I do have are two children I love and adore and could not be happier as a result. Do I mourn the breakup now? Absolutely not.

I had a car accident that kept me laid up for a long time in a part of the country that wasn’t my home. As a result I eventually met the woman who became the mother of my children. Had I not had the terrible car accident I would never have had these children.

Do you see what I mean? Now, in these examples it appears I am only pointing to events outside my control. Things that happened to me. That is part of it. It is what the universe offered. Events happen. Inside of each I made countless decisions that affected my present at that time and the future outcomes.

For example, I stayed after recovery to have the relationship that lead to my children. Had I chosen to return home and not continue the relationship I would not have my kids. I had to give up certain things in one part of the country to have other things in another part of the country.

One of the points I am trying to make is that each dot leads to another and the entire picture emerges but we don’t see it all at one time. We don’t know the eventual outcome. How we view each dot is important. I could abhor my present and look back and see how each dot has lead to now, and how I might have decided otherwise.

No point crying over spilt milk. Yes, you or I may have decided otherwise at anytime but did not. Get over it is the only thing to do. We can not, nor should we, regret the past. If we can’t change it we should find a better use of our thoughts and our time.

We can use those feelings though to decide to change our present and have a better one. We can determine to have a better future too. This is when past exploration is useful if it leads to a set of wiser choices in the now that we can make.

Otherwise, sifting through the crap in our lives, living hurt and disappointment over and over again is a pointless, devastating use of time. A key to having a happy life is knowing how to use your mind to look for and find what you want. Another key is knowing how to spend your time doing what brings you those results.

Look into the past and recognize choice points. Notice how upheaval events, big boulders, are the stepping stone to now, and without them you would not be who you are today. Whether or not you successfully negotiated those, whether or not you appreciate the outcome they are part of your history.

Therefore, they have helped determine who you are today. For goodness sakes be grateful!!!

Without them, perhaps, everything would be different. However, there is NO without them. They are historically in you past. Examine how those events, no matter how horrible, have contributed to you. You have lived on. Days, weeks, maybe years have passed since that time, those times. Appreciate this!

If you are dragging the boulders with you everywhere you go that is a difficult way to travel. You need to put them down and let them go. You need to examine how, no matter how terrible they may have been and how life crushing they were at the time, those very events are disguised blessings. Appreciate this too!

Inside each were, as there always IS, choice points we face. There are always decisions we have to make. In each decision we made, whether the result was better or worse, is the seed of opportunity for betterment. Find the seeds! They are within the dots!

Whatever we did, however we chose, brought us to right now. If you don’t like where you are right now, maybe you can imagine, whether true or not, a greater force trying to get your attention to make better decisions. My guess, it is not coming from outside you but from within you. YOU are trying to get YOUR attention.

Negative feelings are your way of signaling YOU that you need to make a change. They are telling you you are focused on the wrong things. You are focused on what you do not want. The signal value will get as loud as necessary for you to hear it and change things.

Some people, instead of recognizing the signal and changing what they are doing, live with the negative feelings. Imagine, a messenger shows up at your home and instead of taking the message and acting on it you invite the messenger to live with you. Some people tolerate negative feelings and pain instead of making change that benefits them.

They are simply mistaken. The don’t realize the feelings are there to get their attention The feelings are yelling “HELLO! IS this bad enough yet? HELLO, HELLO? okay well then we’ll ramp them up and see if this get’s you to pay attention. HELLO HELLO!”

On and on it goes as a vicious cycle because the human isn’t aware of why those less than glorious feeling are there. They are there so you DECIDE to change your focus. That is all they truly are! Use them don’t continue to be abused by them. Stop and change what you are paying attention to. Stop paying attention to the negative thoughts and feelings!!! Use the feelings only as a guide, as a messenger!

You can’t change the past but you can use the past to change what you are presently doing so that you get better results. Part of this evolutionary self change means reframing the past as necessary. Look at it and assign different meaning to it.

Assign a more useful and productive meaning to it. Notice how each dot follows the other in some way as a road map to now. Find the good in each disappointment and you are doing something incredibly valuable for yourself! You will transform the past when you find the good. The result will be a better present and future!

You don’t have to live in regret and personal woe. At this moment there is a choice what to do with the past. You can keep hurting or you can decide to live happily and victoriously. Even considering these notions is a choice point for you. What will you do?

I hope you will look at each moment meaningfully and positively and find the good that has come from each disappointment. Sadly, many people miss all the positive, incredible, stepping stones in their life because they only see the boulders.

That is narrow, limited vision and no way to live. One only lives that way because they made looking for what is wrong a habit. You can change that! There is plenty of wonderful events and good too that should not be missed. Habits should serve you you should not serve habits.

Silver lining surround every dark cloud but we have to look for it. We need to find the good. Train your mind to find the good, especially if you have never trained it to do so. If you have not deliberately trained your mind to find the good, to see the positive, to celebrate everything, then you won’t. Make it a habit!

Your mind will run on and on doing whatever it learned to do haphazardly and carrying out the programming given it by others. That is not how you want to live and use your mind. Claim it back and train it to find the strength, the confidence, the happiness and joy that are there that you are missing because you don’t know where or how to look. You can do it!

This moment is an opportunity for you to take control, resolve the past, forgive and let go. It is an opportunity to make the present marvelous and move into the future with confidence, power and joy. It is the opportunity for you to create what you want instead of living as you don’t want.

You always have choices whether you know it or not.  Only, you have to decide. NO decision, to not make one, is actually a decision to do nothing. Waiting is only waiting. Someday never comes, today is all we have. You and I can live it positively, happily with an attitude of gratitude for everything that came before and what we have now.

When we are grateful for everything, truly grateful, there is immense power within you to create and attract anything and everything you want. You become a magnet for blessings, opportunities and advantages. Celebrate everything!

You live with purpose, deliberately using your thoughts and feelings to have fabulous day no matter what crap the world hurls your way. When you are grateful for everything. When you are grateful for every decision you made, regardless of the outcome, you are beginning to take responsibility for you. When you can take 100% responsibility for you is when the miracles begin happening!

Then nothing is left up to chance, nor to anyone else. You are the captain of your life and the master of your fate and the creator of your circumstances. You become more fully alive and dynamically charged. There are no blames, no excuses only celebration and gratitude and this is an incredible way to live.

You can have it all when you decide to take charge. When take responsibility for all your decisions, your thoughts, feelings and actions you are the master of these and your life becomes magical! It is absolutely wonderful. Yes, crap may happen, but life is wonderful.

Won’t you do this now for yourself? “Rex Sikes

Be good and kind to yourself today!

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You Screwed Up! How To Get Over It!

your best teacher your last mistake

“You screwed up! Big or small? It doesn’t matter. We all make mistakes. The big question is what to do when you do make a mistake? How do you keep going?

Okay, this won’t be the first time you heard this. You are human. Humans make mistakes. That is what we do. That is how we learn. From our earliest moment we are screwing up and it is informing us and teaching us.

BUT since we went to school we hate messing up. We hated those red marks on our tests. We were told everything we did wrong. SO we developed an aversion to it. We developed a fear for making mistakes.

We responded out of sorts. We don’t like it. We are afraid of it and feel bad when we screw up.

Stop Focusing On Mistakes

If we focus on what we don’t want we get more of what we don’t want. If we spend time worrying about making mistakes it is more likely we will make them.

If we think ‘don’t screw up’ it is not any different than telling a child ‘don’t spill your mill’. You know what happens when we do that.

Focus On What You Do Well

You have to live fearlessly and expect the best. You need to plan for success and not let mistakes bother you so much. You are so much more than your occasional screw up.

You do more things right than you do wrong. Celebrate that! Embrace this! Accept it! You do plenty of things well and quite well.

How We Learn

As a child you learned to roll over, sit up, crawl and eventually walk by making more movements than were necessary. These movements were way off base. They weren’t at all close to what you need to balance or move forward easily.

When you learned to feed yourself you repeatedly missed your mouth with the spoon getting food all over the place and yourself. You made movements way off base.

You never thought to call them mistakes. They were! They were necessary for you to eventually hone your skills and get the food in your mouth. They were necessary for balance, movement, navigation.

These are called Unwanted Parasitic Movements. Name sounds horrible but you needed to learn how to stop doing them in order to get the spoon to your mouth, for you to sit up, crawl and walk.

They were absolutely required. They were larger than necessary, not even closed to the refined movements you learned to make because of them. It is like coloring outside the lines. You went outside the lines while learning to color inside the lines.

You learned to eliminate all that was unnecessary in order to refine and perform these skills. You got rid of these unwanted parasitic movements to smoothly navigate the spoon to your mouth.

It was all done through repetition. It was all learning. It was all ‘not that way but this way’ when it came to aiming your arm and hand to your mouth.

When you watch an infant sit notice how much it moves as it is learning to sit comfortably still. The infant is learning to balance from all these extraneous movements.

Good thing you couldn’t talk or think about it as you do now, you’d have quit after the first or second try, starved to death and would not be reading this blog.

Accept Mistakes As Part Of Being Human

Mistakes are part of evolving, growing, developing. If you deny making them or get caught up in thinking about them, over thinking about them or worrying about them you will only be miserable.

You will stagnate and prevent yourself from learning valuable lessons. You will make it tougher on yourself. Pat yourself on the back when you make a mistake and say to yourself, ‘You did the best you could. Better luck next time’.

Realize we all make them and they are a part of life. Embrace yourself, forgive yourself. Embrace your mistakes, forgive yourself for making them. It is absolutely ok.

Yes, there may be consequences and you may need to make restitution for your mistakes that should be understood. That is part of the process.

Don’t shirk your responsibility when a mistake affects others. Ask forgiveness do what you can to rectify it. Be positive and proactive. Do not let it ruin you. Make good on it and get over it.

Mistakes Make You More Attractive

People like people more who are able to forgive themselves and admit their mistakes. It actually makes them more attractive. There is the story of a popular television entertainer who was supposed to run up a flight of stairs during his TV special.

He stumbled and fell. The producers said, ‘don’t worry we can edit it out’. He said ‘leave it in’. He understood that it would make him more human and that the audience would feel for and pull for him seeing him falter but continue to go on. And he was right!

Happy people know this inside. They know that making a mistake is actually a learning experience and an opportunity. Since we all make them and it is probable we will continue to make them the best approach seems to be relaxed acceptance.

Don’t get bent out of shape. Keep moving forward. The more you can celebrate mistakes the less the sting. When you are able to embrace and accept, acknowledge, learn and move on your life takes on a much more wonderful quality.

When you give yourself permission to screw up or fail it takes the sting out of it. You will find yourself hurting less and feeling better more frequently. Attitude is important. It makes all the difference in the world. Keep on making mistakes and keep on learning and growing!” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day!

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Let’s Reconnect Each Other To The Network And Thrive!

what we project we perceive

“What makes this world a beautiful place? Our thoughts, when right thinking, the world is delightful. When we manage our thoughts and think the very best of ourselves, others and circumstances the world is wonderful. We paint this world as we want it to be by our thoughts and attitudes. If it isn’t what you want then you have to change some things.

Our beliefs determine what we see and what we find. Our experience is shaped first within and then realized without. When we think the best of everything we have the best of everything. When we hold others in our heart and wish them love, peace, blessings, abundance, and when we support through kindness this world is amazing.

Go First: Bless, Heal And Prosper

We can give first even without others knowing we are giving. We can care and make a difference! It begins with out thinking but must become our speech and our actions. Only think, say and do those things that help bless, heal and prosper another person and yourself. Live well by thinking, speaking and doing kindness.

There are people who suffer but somehow manage to find the bright spot in the darkness. They live in the light while facing incredible odds and still find it within themselves to love, care for and encourage others. In spite of great personal difficulty they act and help to encourage and inspire others. We all can do more of this.

What makes this world a beautiful place? People do! Without our awareness this place just is. It is a rock hurtling through space at high speed. People give it color, texture, love and life. People do care and do help and do inspire and this is wonderful!

People rallly and support and nurture each other. In pleasant times and in trying times people reach out and are there for one another.

Love One Another

It is worth it to think the best of all people and to hold everyone in the highest esteem. To love and accept each other as Jesus encouraged us to. I am not favoring Jesus here, many have spoken about this need, but his message was simple. ‘Love one another as I have loved you.”

His examples from the scripture are pretty clear. He gave, he healed, he fed, he nourish, he inspired others.

Those he chastized seemed to be greedy know it alls who had no remorse. According to his story he gave his life for them too. He forgave his captors and killers. If he could do this, how can we not do a little something for one another when in need.

He stated that what you do for the least or the most lowly of all people you do for and to him. That is pretty straightforward. We ought to help each other more. We ought not judge we ought just help without prejudice. We should be open and accepting.

There are plenty of times in each day when a smile, a kind word, a note, a message, a small act of caring may be all that is needed to uplift another person. We can help ease their burden just by being pleasant and nice. Opportunities for kindness abound. Hold a door open for someone. Make pleasant eye contact. Chat with a stranger,

Of course, we should do this with family, friends and co-workers. Frankly, we should do it with and for everyone!

Smile More, Be Kind, Uplift, Be Friendly In Thought, Word, Deed

Recognize and validate the people you pass by everyday without giving a thought to. The person who annoys you;  the person begging at the corner; the disenfranchized citizens, the homeless, the needy, the hospitalized. Acknowledge them as you go about your day! Notice and greet them.

We can care. Recognize them. Smile, say hello. Wish them well. Act like they do more than just exist. They are people after all. They may be cut off from family, friends and society. They may need hopsitalization, or a meal or a bed.

They are human and they do have needs. Some just don’t have the money or station in life you and others do. So what!? Treat all people with care and kindness!

If you can’t do anything YOU can always wish them well. You can think highly of them and for them. You can say a little prayer or shower that  person with positive thoughts, feelings of peace, love, joy and positve warm loving energy. Attitude is everything too!

The World Is Filled With People Posing As Strangers

Take moments throughout the day to validate the people who walk the earth around you. They get on elevators with you, walk the streets, pass you by in hallways, the world is filled with people posing as strangers.

We are one species, one family seemingly separated. We have differences and that makes us richer by far than if we were all the same.  Yet, there is THAT aspect of us that is all the same.

We are human! We want and need to be noticed and loved. We need to feel that others know we are here and that we can be heard. We all want to make some form of positive impact and be valuable to another. We want to leave a mark on the world.

There Is Nothing More Sad Than A Lonely Person In The Crowd

That should never be the case. We are all in it together. We are one great human network. Networking shouldn’t only be to get ourselves gain but to get others the help they need.

Some people have fallen out of ‘everyday’ life network and can use some help getting re-connected. Help others connect to resources, theirs and those availble to them. Help each other bless, heal and prosper!

We are ONE organism with different cells. In a healthy body these different cells work together and support each other so the organism can thrive. They are different, they have different functions but the same goal IS to keep the organism alive.

We should do no less when it comes to people. For the species to survive we need to co-operate more. Recognize and validate. Help and heal! We need to listen, actually understand and take actions. We need to manage our thoughts, focus our attention on the positive, and speak and act positively.

What makes the world a beautiful place? When people are there for each other. When they reach out and uplift. There are so many kind, generous wonderful people in the world. Let’s focus on that.

Celebrate what is good! Recognize it! Celerbate it! Appreicate it! Validate it! Let’s make it a point to create more of it. We can if we believe we can! We will! Let’s begin right now!” Rex Sikes

Spend a moment smiling with someone new today!

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How To Get Along With Everyone

be the type of person you want to meet

“Napoleon Hill asked his audience, ‘Do you have any idea why it is if I can have all of the religion, the followers of all religions in my classes and get along well with all of them. The Catholics and Protestants, Jews and Gentiles all the races, all the priests.  Do you know why it is?’

The audience shouts out:  ‘You love them all.’

Hill says: ‘That’s right. To me, they’re all one brand. They’re my fellow beings. They’re my brothers and sisters. That’s why I get along with them. I never think of anybody in terms of what he believes politically or religiously or economically.’

‘I think of him in terms of what he’s trying to do to better himself and to better somebody else. That’s the terms that I think of people in and that’s why I get along so well with them.’

I love this. ‘To me they are all one brand’.

Politicians divide us and segregate us into as many possible factions as possible to control and manipulate us and our interests. We are not our skin color, our religion, our economics, our nationality, our politics, our gender, or our preferences. We are all one brand! We are one species. We are human.

Tolerance is the ability to allow those unlike you to co-exist. Acceptance is to embrace without distinction. Our colors, our religions, our economics, our politics and nationalities, whom we love, make us richer not poorer. We ARE diverse and not cut from the same swatch.

That is what is wonderful about our world.

Still, we are one species and we need to understand that. These divisions for control are wrong. We need to end hate not by focusing on what is wrong but by focusing on what is right. We don’t need to declare another ‘war on something’ in order to end it. All the wars we have ever declared on anything go on and on and on and proliferate what we claim we want to eradicate.

We need to love and give, forgive and forget, allow and accept, enjoy and embrace all people. The Golden Rule is so wonderful in this regard. Treat others the way you wish to be treated. Make them feel as comfortable and loved as you want to be. Help them be as rich and successful as you can be. Accept and allow them to thrive as you wish to.

Celebrate and assist each other.

We are all in it together. We are a species on a globe hurtling through space at high speed. We ought to figure out how to peacefully exist together delighting in one another instead of fighting. Most people fight more over ideology than they do over resources. They fight over religion and who loves whom, or the physical characteristics of their neighbors.

It’s Simply insane.

‘Love one another as I have loved you’, said Jesus. That is pretty darn straight forward. It starts with each of us. You cannot expect the other person to go first. You must go first! Begin with you neighbors, the people you meet, greet or see each day. Accept those who cross you path. Practice patience, kindness, love, generosity, acceptance!

THAT IS THE POINT of the Golden Rule. GO FIRST! We put it into practice! One by one and we pay it forward. Of course, you must have an open mind and an open heart in order to do this.You must be flexible and accepting. You must like people and want to get along.

If enough people did this we could reach that Tipping Point. We could fulfill the 100th Monkey Principle and we would make our world a better place. Each of us needs to be responsible for making our world a little bit better.

If each of us actually did this IT WOULD BE better. If you and I decided to start making a difference things will be different. Focus on what we can positively do. Practice becoming a living solution!

I say, begin today, if you haven’t already! Commit to helping make our world the garden paradise it was meant to be.” Rex Sikes

Celebrate everything today!

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Do You Have The MindSet To Succeed?

act as if you already have it

“Do you want to succeed in career and life? If you want to be happy or and enjoy more of what life offers you need to adopt a winning mindset. To enjoy enduring success you must think as a successful person does. Attitude is everything.

If a successful person wants to do something it never occurs to them that they can’t do it. They believe in themselves and that they can accomplish what they want. They passionately pursue their goals because in their heart they know they can be, do or have anything they put their mind efforts into getting.

Do you think and behave this way? If they want it it is a done deal! The successful person would never question it. They have confidence in their ability to use their minds to create the circumstances they want created. The successful person takes 100% responsibility for achieving. They make things happen!

The person may adjust plans as needed but failure is not an option. Determination and persistence rule. The successful person believes in his/her abilities to make it happen. He believes it will happen and does not let circumstances or troubles get in the way. Challenges are perceived as just part of the game.  There is no defeat only temporary situations.

To succeed the mind must be conditioned for success.  Failure is preceded by thoughts of failure thought over again. Success is preceded by thoughts of success thought over and over again. Whatever we do repeatedly becomes a habit. Through correct repetition over time you can form positive habits. Happiness and success are habits.

It is habitual, automatic thinking. Your mindset precedes the results. If you are getting negative results it is due to your mind set. If you are getting positive results it is due to your mindset. If you aren’t getting what you want you need to change your mind set. Examine, evaluate, become aware and change your thinking as you need to.

Those who can are those who think they can. Happiness is a great indicator of success, yet, most people think success will bring them happiness. Build the habit of happiness. Build the habit of success. It is simple, it takes some discipline and it can be accomplished. Yet, most people don’t do it.  Will you? What is it you want in life?

Napoleon Hill stated, ‘Whatever  the mind can conceive and believe you can achieve.’  You can be, do and have anything you can imagine when you develop the attitude that you can. Happiness is not in the results the results come as a result of your happiness. Find your bliss first and everything else will fall into place.

Celebrate and enjoy. Be thankful and delighted. Stay optimistic, positive and powerful. You become what you think about. Henry Ford stated, ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right!’ So, what you are thinking and feeling most of the time?” Rex Sikes

Have a wonderful day of discovery!

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Are Your Habits Creating Success Or Failure?

the choice to have a great attitude

“Success and happiness is a matter of habit. So is failure and defeat. Either your habits support you and uplift you or they don’t. You get whatever you think about most. You get back whatever you do most.

You need to ensure that you have the right habits to get what you want.  You can’t succeed easily if you have the habit of defeated thinking and feeling. If your habits don’t support you YOU MUST develop new habits to replace the ones that work to keep you down.

You rarely get what you want if you are not the person in charge of your own thinking. You might be lucky once in a while but most often you are like a cork bobbing in the water. You are drifting. Sometimes things work out sometimes they don’t.

The only way to insure more consistent results is to put yourself in charge and take 100% responsibility for everything that happens good or bad. You may not like this idea but once you completely accept this notion you come into your true power.

You stop blaming. You stop putting the causes for your success or failure outside of yourself. It is accurate that there are outside influences on you but you are the one who decides how you will respond. Circumstances are neutral until you decide whether they are positive or negative.

A true person of power can celebrate during the greatest disasters and in the face of calamity. When you can be delighted and celebrate regardless of what is going on around you or to you YOU are not a fool. You are a victor because you do not let things bring you down

You determine how you will feel. You are in charge. You are powerful and positive. You created successful thought habits.

From this seat of power you are a creator. Because you feel good in spite of circumstances you are able to more readily recognize opportunity and take advantage in ANY situation. Consider this example, successful people know how to make money in any economic climate. Making money for them is habit.

Many make their most money when times are bad. It isn’t the situation that should dictate you, rather you should dictate how you take advantage of any situation. When things don’t work out they way you may have hoped learn what you can from the experience.

When you have the mental attitude that you are in charge no matter what you make things happen. When you have the attitude that no matter what you are blessed and lucky all the time then you open yourself to have a most incredible life. When you can be happy and celebrate regardless of circumstances life is delicious.

To be the victor you must tell your mind what you want over and over again. There is no end to it. Repetition creates habit. Correct repetition creates the correct habit. Persistence is necessary in order to get what you want. It is simple YOU become what you think about day and night.

The subconscious mind will accept any statement that you keep repeating to it through words and by any other means. You affirm what you want in an emotional state of highly charged positive feelings. Intense feeling accompanying your thoughts, (internal images) and your self-talk (affirmations) IS what makes it work.

Repeat your affirmations and visualizations (as suggested in previous posts) in a state of enthusiasm backed up by faith and the subconscious mind acts more quickly. Faith is a state of mind wherein whatever it is you are going to do, whatever it is you want, you can see it already in a finished act even before you begin.

You can do whatever you make up your mind to do unless you give away your power along the way. Feel blessed, celebrate, be enthusiastic and joyful no matter what. Have faith that you will make happen what you want to happen regardless of whatever life throws at you. Make these a habit and nothing can hold you back!

Know you will find a way even if you don’t know what that way is at this moment. It will become obvious to you as you move forward. Have faith! Believe in yourself. Then what you want is taken over by the subconscious an acted upon immediately.  Stay with it, never give up and you will get what you want. Act from your power.

Define your chief purpose. Write it out so that you clarify it, understand it an memorize it. Start repeating it day in and day out. See it in your mind’s eye as already accomplished. Celebrate and enjoy! Say thank you all through out your day! Delight in all moments and you will discover so much more!

The more you think positive and the more you feel good the quicker and easier the process becomes. The faster you make it a reliable habit. The faster and easier you make things happen because you create momentum. Keep repeating this process until your subconscious mind picks it up and automatically works on it. This is how you make success a habit!” Rex Sikes

Have a fantastic  day!

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How To Feel Better Almost Instantly!

how can i help others olve their problems and acheive their dreams

“Would you like to feel better? Would you like to feel proud? How would you like to enjoy the feelings that what you do matters? Wouldn’t this be nice? It doesn’t take much to feel significant and productive. Here is how:

Help someone else who is down and out. Whether the person or persons are emotionally or financially troubled do something to help ease their burden. Help put a smile on their lips or a song in their heart. Any genuine act of kindness, no matter how large or small can mean more than you can imagine to a person in need.

Pay it forward. Little acts or kindness randomly spread throughout the day can help you to feel inspired and delighted. Sometimes, it is as easy as lighting up, smiling genuinely and listening intently when greeting another person. If you want to feel better help someone else feel better.

It might surprise you how good you feel when thinking and feeling and moving with care and compassion. Even the mental activity of showering the other person with peace and love can be meaningful. Bath them in positivity and enjoy their presence. Take a moment and truly listen. Help a child or play with one. Smile at everyone!

It’s easy to feel good when your goal is to help others feel good. As they light up you will too. Whenever you are down and need a lift give someone else a lift and you will benefit! Aim to understand, accept, allow, inspire, motivate, and assist others. Delight in doing good!” Rex Sikes

Have a great day!

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Easy Way To Positively Enhance Your Self Image Watching Movies!

imagination-quotes-for-imagination-sets-the-goal-quotes

“Do you remember what theaters were like prior to them being subdivided into multiple screens? Theaters were great opulent halls; places of majesty. Those theaters were built to showcase the stars of the screen.

Imagine you enter one of those. You take a comfortable seat and wait for the lights to dim. No commercials showing, just pleasant music softly playing. You feel the anticipation of the show about to begin. The lights dim.

The curtain rises and the screen becomes visible. The projector starts and up on that huge screen is you. This is your story. YOU are the star! This movie is about you and the life you have always dreamed of. You are about to watch your ideal self, the dream you, live the life you always wanted!

You are the author, the screenwriter, the director and actor of your own life movie. Take the opportunity to script this feature as you want it to be. Imagine yourself overcoming any barriers to happiness and success. See yourself winning and accomplishing your goals.

This is YOUR movie make it exactly as you would like it to be. Don’t be stingy be lavish. Make it as realistic as possible. At the same time be generous with yourself. Don’t hold back. Create the life and future you want to have and imagine having it. Live it in your mind!

Imagine yourself without any limiting beliefs. See yourself as you have always wanted to be. In this mental movie imagine your goals and dreams as already achieved. See what you did to make these happen. Act as if you already have everything!

Watch yourself make all the wonderful things you want to happen, happen. Make it as vivid as possible. See the ideal you. Watch yourself. See how you look and move. Listen to how you sound. Enjoy watching that person get goals and accomplish things. Enjoy each moment. Script it. Make it. Watch it. Feel it! Live It!

Once you have your scripted movie. Direct it. Decide on the quality of color, the clarity, the brightness.  Adjust the sound. Tailor it to your liking. Adjust the volume, the tones. You can make it surround sound. Make it as inspiring and riveting and motivating as possible.

Adjust the components to make it precisely as you want it so that as you watch it you feel excited and delighted.  Edit it the way you want it to be. Score it with the music that makes you feel marvelous. This is your movie! Make it compelling. Make it glorious and dynamic!

THIS IS YOUR MOVIE! YOU decide what it is like and YOU DECIDE how it ends. Write the ending you want. Get your goal. Win! Make your movie move you emotionally. Enjoy it. Savor the wonderful feelings. This is YOUR TIME. THIS IS FOR YOU!

Take your time to enjoy it. Feel the great feelings. FEEL THEM!

Then imagine floating up into the screen and taking up your place as yourself in the movie. Live it, experience it. Look out through those eyes, listen with those ears and feel your movements and emotions as you live out that movie. Feel the positive sensations! Go from beginning to end. Live the life your want to lead. LIVE IT!

You have the opportunity to make you mental theater an incredible place. A great hall dedicated to your personal changes. Script your dreams and goals. Be the author of your life! Define and clarify your ultimate chief aim or definite purpose. You have the ability to make your self image positive and vibrant.

Create your self image as you have always wanted to be. You can grow up your inner child to get over limitations and hurts from the past. You can use your inner theater to program yourself for happiness and success. You can be confident, joyful, dedicated, optimistic, courageous.

You can be loving, kind, compassionate, peaceful. Where do you live? what kind of house? What do you drive? What do you do for money? Do you travel? What do you enjoy? Who are the important people in your life? What kind of person are you? You provide the story and the details. You provide the images, sounds and feelings.

Imagine yourself with positive, productive beliefs, attitudes, thoughts and feelings. In your movie be the ‘I can do anything’ person. See yourself overcome obstacles, find solutions, co-operate with people, utilize your skills and abilities, learn new things, do new things, and feel wonderful.

NO ONE can do this but you. Make your mental movies glorious. Dream big. Make them realistic. Don’t use this process to imagine you can fly without aircraft or to bend other people to your will. Use the mental movie process to program yourself for happiness and success.

The subconscious does not know the difference between real images and a detailed visualization combined with intense feelings.

Our subconscious mind is programmed by images and intense feelings. Make use of this by imagining and feeling what you want. Visit your theater daily, spend time making your movies and soon you will make it a positive habit.

The ability to visualize grows with use. This ability will serve you in incredible ways when it becomes automatic. You make it a habit, automatic and reliable, over time by repeating the process again and again. Spend 2 minutes to 30 minutes daily immersed in your inner success movies.

Program yourself and it will become second nature. We become what we think about. Make your mind work for you. Take control of your thoughts and your feelings. Be in charge. Be the author, the director of your life and dreams and make what you want come true. You can be, do and have anything you want. Take advantage of this ability you have to create your future!” Rex Sikes

Have fun today!

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Be Happier And Healthier In Just Minutes!

brain lifitng weights

“People often complain that they don’t have time to do good things for themselves. They won’t take a few minutes each day and devote it to their well-being. They don’t eat, sleep, exercise or think right for their own over-all good. What if it didn’t take all that long to make and get some profound benefits? Would you do it?

The New York Times,  May 9, 2013, reported  on the ‘Scientific Seven Minute Workout.’ That’s right 7 minutes! You use your own body weight, a chair and a wall! Most people could find 7 minutes. Can’t you? Give it a shot, take seven minutes in your day to feel better.

If you can’t do the exercises recommended in the article there are other things you can do.  Health experts have suggested taking the stairs instead of elevators. Stand up for a few moments every hour. Park further away and walk into the store or restaurant. While a period of dedicated exercise has benefit finding more time to move during the day has benefit too.

More people take better care of their cars than their bodies. They put better fuel in their tank than fuel in their body. It is time to start taking care of ourselves. Don’t skimp on the only body you have. AND it is not just your body it is your mental and emotional health too. Exercise has great effect on the entire person. Do it!

Research has demonstrated that exercise is a proven effective strategy in overcoming depression.  One study from Psychosomatic Medicine, 62, 633-638 found that 3 groups of patients used medication,  a combination of medication and exercise and exercise alone to treat depression.

All three groups experienced similar improvements in the beginning of the research. However, the follow up months later proved to have some different dramatic results. These are important to note. You do not have to be depressed to experience the benefits noted.

Of those who had been prescribed medication alone 38% had slipped back into depression 6 months later. Those who were prescribed medication and exercise fared slightly better at 31%.

The group who only utilized exercise as treatment relapse rate was just 9%. The biggest and long lasting change came when patients used only exercise to manage their emotions. There may be another reasons for this positive change.

Exercise proved beneficial for the 2 research groups. The reason the ‘exercise only’ group may have the better results IS due to getting exercise and the experience of being in control of their changes. Being in charge is a significant predictor of positive outcomes. Because they are in control they are able to initiate and maintain the results.

This means this group had to be self initiators. They could not and did not rely on an outside element or ingredient to assist them. They did it by themselves. They just had to make themselves do the exercise and this alone has positive implications and benefits. Thus, they were able to continue whereas the others did not.

The efficacy of medication has been called into question in a number of studies. It is reported to be less effective than placebo in some research. This indicates that it is not the medication that may be effective but the Placebo Effect or the belief that it has some benefit. Still, it is frequently recommended in conjunction with therapy or other practices even though by itself it may have no merit.

I am not a doctor and am making no medical recommendations. I do find all the research in this arena worth looking into. I think finding those practices that provide the individual the most benefit make the most sense. Ultimately, each of us must come to our own well-informed conclusions.

The important news for everyone IS you don’t need to be diagnosed as depressed to improve your mood and feel happier. Exercise helps your brain grow healthier, it releases important hormones for well being, it helps you feel better, think better, relax more and sleep better.

If you can take more time to exercise then take it. Do something positive for yourself because you will be glad you did. Walk for  at least 20 minutes. Do this two times a day if you are able. An uninterrupted hour daily walk outside is even better. Make a schedule to include your own mental, emotional and physical fitness.

Thinking and feeling better is easy when you will devote some time to it! Find a way to manage your time to engage in healthy practices. If nothing else go out on your lunch break and take a stroll. Walk, jump, skip, run, stretch, skateboard, anything that gets your body moving. Dedicate yourself to your own well being. ” Rex Sikes

What positive daily practice will you commit to today?

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