Category Archives: Habit Formation

Attitude, Focus, Habit Formation, Responsibility

We All Just Need Some Tough Love

2 Comments

horizons-1-bails-phil-koch

“In this day and age many want to be coddled. Some don’t want to hear that it takes hard work to make things happen. Some want to wish, others want to complain, a few want others to do it for them. Sadly, wishing, complaining, not doing or luck isn’t the best answer.

If you want your dreams to come true you have to make them come true. One of my favorite quotes is, ‘Luck is the crossroads where preparation and opportunity meet’. That takes thinking right and doing right. Both are required. Which is most important? Mindset.

Work smarter not harder. Having the right mindset is 95% of success. Doing smartly the other 5%. Still, people whine and complain and say it isn’t so. When I say ‘stop complaining and stop sniveling’ and start taking control of your mindset it is tough love.

The Power Of Determination Will Make You Unstoppable

Yes, I understand you might be having it very rough. I get it. Many of us have incredible challenges at different times in our lives. I simply want to remind you that thinking right and will power gets you further faster than complaining, blaming and making excuses.

Athletes have training coaches who don’t coddle but prod them, perhaps push them on to success. I need a coach or mentor, most people do. We need people who help us push past our own stopping points. We need role models and examples of those who succeed.

Many of us try to do it on our own. We allow our own habits of thought, feeling and action defeat us. We give up or give in to the easy way. Success or happiness or both require a different way of thinking and behaving. It comes to us when we go to it. Two-way!

Your Attitude Plus Your Choices Equals Your Life

Will it be easy? No, probably not, but it is simple. Get your mental act together and almost everything else falls into place! Does that mean the world changes for you? Probably not. Frankly, who truly knows. Miracles seem to happen to those who expect them to. Have faith!

Yet others wish and hope and want without anything seeming to happen. Hang in there. The temptation is to give up and throw in the towel but that doesn’t make anything happen. That is turning temporary defeat into permanent failure. Stop, do anything else!

Keep the faith. Work on your attitude and positive thinking. Stay optimistic. Believe you can find or create away. Realize that if you are flexible you can make corrections as necessary and adapt to any situation. You can even learn to go beyond them. Embrace challenge.

I Didn’t Come This Far – To Only Come This Far

Do not let your problems get the better of you. Be bigger than any problem or challenge. Learn how. Get your attitude working for you. Develop habits for success. Think, feel and act like a champion. You’ll get further faster than acting like a wimp. Sorry, but it is true.

That hay won’t get bailed by whining and complaining. Nor will it go quicker with a crappy attitude. It may actually take longer if you resist. Develop determination to do the positive good actions required of you to make happen that which you desire most.

Think positive and feel positive. Take positive action steps toward the results you want. If you don’t yet know what to do you will learn as you go. Walk as far ahead as you can see and when you get there you will see farther. That is how it works. Mindset leads to results.

Attitude Is The Difference Between An Ordeal And An Adventure

Develop indomitable spirit. Grow your backbone. Put in the time controlling your thoughts and soon you will be surprised. If it isn’t working for you, it isn’t working YET for you. Develop good success habits. Fill your mind  with inspiring and motivational thoughts.

Adopt a CAN DO attitude. If you don’t know how you can learn. Study. Spend time with people who are making positive things happen. You have to change what you are doing if you want to change your life. Success breeds more success. Hang in there.

Study this blog. Read the great thought leaders. Live what you learn. If you don’t apply it nothing will change. You may need to change your main circle of influence and seek out new positive people. If you do nothing and remain the same YOU WILL remain the same.

If You Are Willing To Learn No One Can Stop You – Be Unstoppable

Action is the proper fruit of knowledge. To know it but not to do it is to not know it. If you haven’t yet got the result you desire change what you are doing in positive ways. It will come in time. Stick with it. Believe it and believe in yourself. This is tough love. Love yourself!

If nothing else fully practice gratitude. Delight and enjoy. Be thankful for what you can presently do, what you will someday do. Be thankful for what you do have and what you will have. Gratitude will make an incredible difference for you. You will only discover this difference when you actually celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make this day a magical day for you and others!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Creating The Future, Deliberate Creators, Habit Formation, Learning

Why You Should Never Ever Quit

Leave a comment

horizons-scuppernong-phil-koch

“All things we learn are at first difficult to do. As infants we learned many difficult things prior to learning how to comment on how we were doing. We just did and did and did without quitting. We were learning machines. We didn’t know not to do things until told.

We learned to roll over, crawl, sit up, balance, walk, talk, feed ourselves, use a toilet, read and write, hobbies, sports and passions We learned many useful thing and many not so useful things. Plus, we learned to limit ourselves, to give up our goals and dreams.

We learned to talk ourselves out of trying harder. We learned to give up. We learned the good and the not so good. We learned so many things. We learned supportive habits and non-supportive habits. We were the ultimate winners who learned how to become losers.

Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

We went from never giving up to criticizing, blaming and exucsing ourselves and others. We went from never quitting to thinking and talking crap. Instead of remaining great learners we learned if we don’t succeed in three tries we should quit. We learned to give up.

We can change this! We can learn to control our thoughts and feelings. We can reverse the damage, Learning this is similar to learning anything else we have. We repeat the thoughts we want to think over and over again. It takes application and commitment.

We think the supportive thoughts we want to think instead of the non-supportive ones. We focus on our mission and goals positively. Eventually, we learn. Then these positive thoughts become our new habitual  thoughts. We replace negative ones for the positive.

Application Is The Proper Fruit Of Knowledge – Apply It – Do It

It isn’t always easy but it is simple. It is not impossible! This is absolutely doable! Stick with it and you will get better and better. Stay with it and you will eventually master your thinking. Become the master of your own mind! When you do new doors open up.

This is why Napoleon Hill said you can Think And Grow Rich. ‘If you can conceive it and believe it you can achieve it.’ As Earl Nightengale pointed out it is The Strangest Secret. ‘You become what you think about’.  YOU learn you can make things happen. AND you do!

When you take control of your mind back you can ask for and receive almost anything! It is all up to you. You make things happen because you are able to align your thinking, feeling and actions in one direction. You develop laser focus. You become unstoppable.

You stop being a victim and become a victor. You become a champion. You create and amazing future. You discover the incredible positive power you have to accomplish your goals and achieve your dreams. You learned everything else. Now, learn this too! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Learn to have a more beautiful day.

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Choice, Focus, Habit Formation, Responsibility

How To End Clutter And Feel Fantastic!

2 Comments

horizons-life-lines-phil-koch

“What surrounds you? Does environment affect you? What message are you sending to others AND to the universe with your home, car, office space? Are you aware of how your space can affect you? How’d you like to make some profound personal changes?

My desk, my car and much of my house, historically, looked like Einstein’s desk. I lived with clutter, in clutter and was comfortable. I pile things around me, and while I might search for things, I know they are right there in that pile. I was comfortable. Truly, felt good.

Having or keeping things simple and clean had always been difficult. My mother’s desk and back office space was worse than Einstein’s. Of course, the office the public saw was quite different. I did learn that public and private could be two very different things.

Control Your Clutter Or Clutter Will Control You

BUT are they? Is there leakage? There is an adage which seems to be true, relevant and profound  ‘How you do anything is how you do everything’. Think about that for a second. Reflect on how you show up for tasks. Any task. How you do one thing is how you do all things.

I could see that there was clutter to my thinking, as well. From my thinking to my performing I was, often, random and haphazard. When it came to goal setting and future planning I couldn’t see past the messy present. My dreams obscured by the ‘now’ circumstances.

It occurred to me that I sacrificed a lot all of my life in exchange for being comfortable. SoI began to change things. I decided I needed to begin to manage my thoughts. I wanted to get control over my thinking process. I didn’t want to be smarter I wanted more power.

Being Organized Is Being In Control – Take Charge Of Your Life

I wanted to affect my circumstance in positive ways. I want to live a fulfilled, incredible life not simply tolerating situations and being ‘okay’ with being comfortable. I wanted to make my dreams come true while evolving myself. I want to feel wonderful much more.

As I began to improve my thinking and future planning I began to become less comfortable with clutter. I still didn’t want to straighten up or clean or make things better, especially, if it was all up to me. I was still more comfortable with clutter than changing it. At first!

Gradually, however, I became and continue to become less accepting of it. As the within changes I notice I want the outside to change as well. I want it nice, neat, simple, clean, elegant and sleek. More and more I find myself desiring simplicity and organization.

The Secret To Getting Organized Is You – You Make The Difference

I learned to begin with baby steps. Clean or organize a small area first. That resulted in feeling good. I accomplished something. Then gradually I’d add more or clean other areas. I made it a point to feel good, congratulate myself, when I put things back in their place.

I found, if I went crazy on it, I burnt out. I later have learned I can do more than I think I can. I have also learned that it isn’t as bad as I think it is IF I ONLY BEGIN. Mostly, I would talk myself out of it opting to feel comfortable instead. I feel far better taking action.

I feel better getting things done and congratulating myself, than procrastinating and feeling bad about me and my space when I  do nothing. Want your life to change then you must change some things you’re doing. Take action, bit by bit. Drop by drop the tub fills.

You Are Either Growing And Evolving Or Withering And Fading

I was never dirty, but I was messy. I still have things to change about this but I am in the process. This is an important point. We are all in the process of something. We are either in the process of making our dreams come true or our nightmares. Which do you do most?

I am not suggesting YOU have to be a neat freak. In fact, being too anal about things isn’t desirable either. For me, the principle is balance. As my internal awareness changes I find I want my outer world to reflect that positivity as well. Other things matter too.

It depends on the size and nature of your dreams and goals. The bigger they are the more minor changes may be necessary. I think it is all cool. It is wonderful. It is evolution, adjust and adapt. I think it also works a little bit in reverse. It is a mirror. As within so without.

If You Can Conceive It And Believe It You Can Achieve It 

As without so within. I do think, the latter, is far more limited than the former notion. Our thoughts create our world. However, Bucky Fuller did say, ‘environment is more powerful than willpower’. Who and what we surround ourselves with exerts force over us.

I choose to think and believe that while true, I am the author of my life and circumstances. I agree with this. Habit of thought is a powerful force. If we are around people or in environments that are less than glorious, most of the time, it will affect us. It does.

Still, I think and believe that I am the master of my fate and I will determine my future. Interestingly enough, as my thoughts changed, so did my relationship to the environment and whom I choose to be around or whom I want around me. It all does matter.

You Must Train Yourself To Be Organized – It Is A Habit You Make

I think how we think about it matters. I don’t think, I want less clutter. That emphasizes the clutter. I want more organization. I want more elegance. I don’t want to eliminate negative friends I want more positive friends. I want healthy, happy, wealthy ones.

I want people who aim high, who think big and make things happen to be my primary influencers. I want people who inspire and motivate me to surround me and affect my thinking and feeling. So I began to move toward what I DO want. What is it I want to include?

I look for what I want to invite into my life. For me, it makes an incredible difference. It has, it does and it will continue to. I feel so wonderful and I love my life. Is everything perfect? No. I don’t want it to be perfect. Are their challenges and lessons?  You bet!

Manage Your Thoughts Happiness Health Wealth And Your Space

I love it! Bring it! I learn and evolve and grow and adjust. I encounter my own rules and boundaries and get to flex them or learn that I need to. It is all good. Life is grand! Some things gradually evolve into new, different positive things while others transform instantly.

It has been and is an incredible adventure. I have learned to accept what is and to adjust and make changes. Some things are great as they are. Other things are ‘mo better’ when altered. Mostly, I have learned to appreciate myself and my life. I love myself and my life.

I have learned that gratitude is incredible and to celebrate everything. I have learned that even when I don’t do any of this, and I rag or nag on myself, that I can celebrate that too. I did what I did at the time. That is what IS or what WAS. Everything is ripe for learning and growing, so truly, we can celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

If you were to look today, what wonderful things can you discover?

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Creating The Future, Decision, Focus, Habit Formation

How You Really Make Changes: NO BS!

2 Comments

horizons-moved-out-phil-koch

Do you want to know how to make lasting change? No BS just the cold, hard, bare-naked truth! Do want that? Can you handle the truth? We shall see. We shall see. Would you like your life to be positively different and better? Are you committed to making it?

Many people want thing but don’t commit doing what is necessary or committing to having them. The hope a lot. Mostly, they whine a lot. Is this you? How do you spend your time? How do you spend your thinking time and feeling time most of each day?

Does it work for you or against you? If it isn’t working for you, if it isn’t supporting you in being who you want to be and having what you want to have then it is not a good use of your time. If it isn’t supportive it is unsupportive. If it isn’t living and growing its dying.

You Create Your Own Destiny Even If You Don’t Take Control

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS? THIS IS CRITICAL TO GET! You need to absorb it. You need to embrace and embody these concepts. If you are not doing what you want YOU are not creating what you want. YOU are actively and passively KEEPING it all the SAME!

WHAT are YOU Doing? It is important to stop and take notice. WHAT on earth are you doing for YOU? Now is not the time to whine, blame, complain, or excuse. NOW is the time to decide to make the changes necessary to have what you want.

If you don’t you won’.t Plain and simple. Cold and hard. No BS. Either you do it or you don’t. If you don’t, don’t expect anything to change. If you change what you are currently doing, then you can change the results you are getting and begin to get results that you want.

The Future You Live Is The One You Make Or Don’t Make Happen 

THIS IS SO CRITICAL YOU HAVE TO READ IT AGAIN AND AGAIN

In my last point I used the condemned house analogy. People complain about the house. They find what is wrong. Then they spend the bulk of their time worrying about it, complaining about it, blaming whom or whatever for it. They make excuses.

Their story, their thoughts, their feelings and what they say is less than glorious. They are negative and downers preoccupied by the condemned house. All the see is what is wrong. Their predominant thoughts, most all of their time, is what they do not want. STOP!

In order to have a new house you must turn your attention to what you want the new house to be and then work to build it. Get it? The predominant thoughts one should have are how incredible the new house will be. They need to envision living in the new house. Feel it.

If You Do Nothing – Nothing Will Be The Future You Have

They need to plan to build it. Make a blueprint. Assemble whomever. Raise the money and the resources and build the house. No time should be wasted complaining about what was. All time should be spent making happen what will be. Do you get this?

Many people don’t. They read it. They hear it. Still, they focus on what they don’t want. WHY? Habit. That is what they learned to do and so that is what they continue to do. UNTIL WHEN? Forever! Unless they decide to change their habits and take charge.

If they don’t decide, if you don’t decide, you will continue to do what you have always done, chronically and habitually. You can hope and wish and pray for a change and nothing will change until you change it. YOU must initiate the changes. You must do it. HOW? You ask.

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

I have repeatedly shared how in these blog pages, in posts, in workshops, seminars, in interviews and discussions. You begin by making the decision that you will and you commit to it. Take baby steps. Do just enough daily to make a little bit of difference.

Eventually you will do more. Change may be gradual. Most likely it will be, but it can also be instantaneous. What it is and for whom shouldn’t matter. Simply commit to making yourself and your different. Read, study and apply. If you don’t do nothing will change.

You can read all about building houses. You can talk about it forever.  Unless, you take action and begin working a plan and begin building the house it will remain a possibility. You make it a reality. You gather your inner and outer resources and YOU make it happen.

Action Is The Proper Fruit Of Knowledge

You create and you attract. When your mind is set and you are absolutely determined, you let nothing stop you, you adjust and adapt until you get what you want or something better. It is not fate it is YOU shaping your own destiny. YOU make it happen! Get it?

If you don’t you are doomed to repeat the endless habitual cycle of wanting and not having until you change it. Until you take action and step up to the plate. Until you DO IT it is only an idea. Thoughts become things because we translate them from idea to the tangible.

How many times have you been asked this before? How often have you had a brilliant idea but did not act on it? Later, you discovered someone else had the same or similar idea but is now making money hand over fist because they put it into action. They made it reality.

To Know And Not To Do – Is To Not Know

Now their reality is rich while yours is whining that you thought about it too back then. I have done this numerous times. I have seen others take my work and spread it world wide making millions because my work works! I didn’t. They did. They got the money!

They got the fame and the credit for it. It sucks. It is water over the dam. No use complaining. I point it out to say we are all very similar. We all do or don’t do things. We are in the same boat in life. If these others can do it so can we. If I can so can you. If you can so can I.

Get it? Do you understand? If not yet, how soon do you suppose you will begin to decide to make a real difference for yourself? Are you going to make positive changes or sadly remain the same? It is all up to you. How soon will you decide to be different and take charge?

The More You Do The More You Can Do – Skill Comes Of Doing

I wonder. Maybe you should too!

More in the next post. In the meantime, if you do really get it, start now to make a real difference for yourself and your future. Read, study and APPLY. Application of your knowledge is the most critical piece. Without doing there is no new being or having. Understand?

Take charge. Determine what you want and go for it! You don’t have to know how yet, just decide what you want and that you will have it. You will find or create away eventually but this will be yours. There will be no stopping you. If it is good and positive for all, go for it!

Be thankful that you can. Appreciate where you are and where you have come from. Be grateful for the hard learning lessons and the easy times to. Feel positive about back then, now and your future. Take time to really feel it. Delight, give thanks and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Maybe you should really go ahead and share this post with others!

That would be a great way to make today count. Feel fantastic!

If you like these posts -subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Attitude, Decision, Habit Formation

This Is How You Start Winning And Become A Real Winner!

2 Comments

horizons-daiseyland-phil-koch

“How do you win at the game of life? Do you know? How do you win the money game? How do you begin to feel more like a winner and less like a loser? Are there secrets to making it different for yourself? Yes, there are methods to begin winning and to transform yourself.

This post continues the series. Be sure to read each in order beginning with ‘Do You Know The Critical First Step In Making Positive Permanent Changes’. Winning is an inside game. Our outer reality follows from our inner reality. What we think we become.

Our thoughts actually do determine our reality and the results we get. It works this way. Our thoughts precede our feelings and determine how we feel. How we feel depends on the thought we think. If we feel great it is because we think great positive thoughts.

Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

If we feel poorly it is because our thoughts suck. They are negative or critical of ourselves, others or the world. Then how we feel from the first thoughts loops around and helps determine the next thoughts we think. If negative we get more negative. Bad to bad.

It spirals down or up depending on our thinking. Our feelings determine what we do. We either feel good or not so good. We either feel motivated or not. Loops again. Spirals more. Our feelings lead to our behaviors. Our behaviors lead to the results we get.

Most people don’t feel like winners because of this sequence. They run a negative less than glorious cycle. There is another aspect to all of this, I didn’t mention. It is the story we tell ourselves. This story is also part of our habitual conditioning whether positive or negative.

Our Thoughts Lead to Feelings Lead To Behaviors Lead To Results

People have a story they tell. That story is why they aren’t a winner. It’s historical in nature. It’s perceived history. They  cherry picked examples to support their hypothesis of why they are or aren’t a winner; lucky in love; able to get ahead; or whatever it is.

This story is chronic. They speak it to themselves and to others. It stems from the Reticular Activating System (RAS) finding matches for their beliefs. We have discussed this aspect many times in previous posts. The brain finds examples for what we believe,

It doesn’t matter whether it is positive or negative the brain finds matches. If we think we are a loser our brain will support us in making that so. It will find examples to provide us with more reasons why that is the case. It would do otherwise if we felt we are a winner.

We Become What We Think About Most Often

The brain works to prove the human right. The subconscious supports the conscious in this manner. Whatever we think our brain says, ‘yup, you’re right!’. So losers tell why they are loser stories and winners tell why they are winner stories. This is HOW it works.

If you want to end being or feeling like a loser you need to collect more wins. How do you do that if you don’t know how to win and historically you feel as though you always lose? Here is how. Return to baby steps from my most recent preceding post.

Take baby steps. Realize you are a learner and you learned to do most everything. You learned to feel and think this way. Since you did you can learn to think and feel a different way. You will recondition yourself to think and feel and behave more successfully.

Winners Aren’t People Who Never Fail But Ones Who Never Quit

Consider yourself a learner is part of the process I already covered. Now add this next step. Find things to consider wins. If you made your bed this morning you are a winner.  If you washed your dishes today you did something and won. Acknowledge and validate.

You took an action and followed through. Celebrate and appreciate. That is a win. That is an accomplishment. Each thing you did that you wanted or needed to do that you followed through on can be considered a win. Yes, this is a tiny piece. A baby step. A method.

It is a means and method to begin re-coding for your brain. You haven’t felt like a winner well now it is time you did. Start small and build up. Begin with intentions and follow through. Create a list of 3 to 5 things you will do today. Each day set your intentions.

To Be  A Winner You Must Plan, Prepare And Expect To Win

Then do them. They can be really small. Such as, today I intend to make my bed; clean my desk; drive safely to work or school; greet my associates with a smile; confidently order coffee from the barista. Then do these. At the end of day check off your list.

Consider each one you accomplished a win. Do the same or others the next day. Find things you intend to do and follow through. Celebrate each one you do. Appreciate yourself and pat yourself on the back. Gift yourself is a small, healthy, positive way. Hooray!

Each day decide to do something. Go to store. Buy bread. Cook Dinner. Wash plates. Make the bed and consider them wins. While this may not seem significant, at first, it is. You are recoding or reeducating yourself as to what winning means. Understand?

Education Isn’t Learning Facts But Training The Mind To Think

Your definition of winning and the stories you tell have prevented  you from feeling like a winner. We want to give you that feeling and numerous examples so you learn to feel like you can and do win. You need to feel that what you do matters and moves you forward.

Each day you, and I, engage in countless mindless tasks we had to learn to do. We do them so well,  unconsciously, we never consider them as significant or as wins or as positive. They are! Because you can do these you can learn to do anything you need to. You can!

You can learn to make your dreams come true. Get it?  Don’t let any excuse stop you. Find a way to move beyond what stops you. Begin with baby steps to help you reframe and redirect your thoughts. Affirm or ask Directed Questions™ for new ways of thinking.

Winners Never Make Excuses – They Make Results

When you think differently (positive) you will feel differently (positive) . As you feel differently (positive) you will take positive action steps and behave more positive. The results you start getting will be positive too. This is how you begin to change yourself.

This is how you begin to change your circumstances and evolve yourself into the person you want to be. You think you are a winner more frequently, you feel more like a winner, you behave more like a winner and begin to get winner results so you tell a new story.

Your story leads to more thinking, feeling and behaving and getting results which adds to your story. Soon you think, feel and act like a winner because you already are. You have reconditioned yourself to be a winner and to follow through on what you say you will do.

Believe In Your Ability To Succeed And The More Likely You Will

What began as baby steps gradually gets a bit larger. Never bite off more than you can chew. Keep it simple and easy and gradually challenge yourself. Keep the winner feeling. The more you think and feel like a winner the more you will actually begin to win.

Birds of a feather flock together. You attract other winners to you because you are one of them. Your attitude determines you altitude! How you approach tasks and opportunity can change for the positive because you have. Your RAS looks for positive matches.

It looks for opportunities. You become more aware of them so you can take advantage of them. You trained and conditioned yourself for success. YOU did it so you can pat yourself on the back. It wasn’t luck. No on else could do it for you. You had to so count it as a win!

Success Belongs To Those Who Dare To Achieve It – Begin Today

Mental success conditioning works as long as you apply yourself and continue the process. It isn’t a magic bullet. It is a sound, scientific, systematic approach to being, doing and having what you want in life. It is a method for a healthy attitude and outlook like exercise.

Just as exercise and proper nutrition requires follow through and dedication mental conditioning does too.  Start small, gradually increase. Go slow and be patient. Set intentions and keep them. Acknowledge and celebrate when you do. Repeat daily. Feel grateful and express gratitude. You can do this! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Smile more and enjoy your day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Awareness, Conditioning, Habit Formation, Learning

How To Finally Stop Being A Loser And Become A Winner

Leave a comment

horizons-the-end-phil-koch

“Some people feel they are losers. They don’t seem to win at anything. They are stuck in a job they don’t like. They haven’t won the money game; there is too little money at the end of the month. They haven’t won in romance, or in much of anything.

They feel stuck. The look at others enviously. They don’t think it is possible for them to make changes and have what they want. They believe others can do it but they can’t. The future is bleak. They just can’t seem to get ahead or even begin to imagine it getting better.

If this is you I have some good news for you.  I have some good news and some not as good news for you. The good news is you can absolutely change it. You can play and you can begin to win. You can free yourself from old conditioning and begin to live your dreams.

Everything In Life Teaches A Lesson You – Be Willing To Learn

The not so good news is this area you want to work on may take a little time. You can absolutely break through! You must be patient and stay committed. You don’t want to fall back into the old bad habits. If you commit you will win! Stay patient and you’ll win!

How do you make the changes? You begin right now, from where you are. You begin by taking baby steps. If the problem is you don’t feel or experience being a winner, or worse, you consider yourself an unlucky person or loser, then baby steps is what is needed.

Begin by taking note of the things you have successfully accomplished. ‘Wait’, you scream. ‘I haven’t and that is the difficulty!’ You have. You have learned and accomplished many things. The problem isn’t that you haven’t. The problem is you think you haven’t.

Perception Is Everything – We See Only What We Believe

Some people THINK they have never successfully accomplished anything. This is perception and a belief issue. Consider this: If you walk then you learned to and accomplished it. If you talk then you learned too and accomplished it. You feed yourself? You bathe?

You read and write? You work in a job? You cash checks? You spend money? Whatever you do you have learned to. Again, you cry, ‘Wait!’ I say ‘STOP’ right there! Remember, I said baby steps.’ If you don’t appreciate this about yourself it is time to start. This is critical!

Yes, you also learned to be lazy, afraid, angry and sad too. You have learned certain mindsets that support you and one’s that don’t support you. It is time to re-condition yourself and learn more of the mindsets that support you. This is one of them. Again, this IS critical!

It Is There You Just Haven’t Noticed It – Perception Is Everything

You have learned many useful things. You have learned some other things too. Everything can be useful depending on the context. In some contexts it won’t be. You have learned so much but you don’t validate it. It goes unrecognized by you. It is time to change this.

You’ve learned to argue and to make up. You’ve learned to listen to others and watch tv. You’ve learned to discount your successes. You’ve learned to think it is possible for others but not for yourself. You’ve learned to feel a victim of your thoughts and feelings.

Back up and take inventory of everything you have learned, because, truthfully, most of the things you think, feel, say and do in life you have learned. Very little is hard wired in by comparison. You need to review and validate those things you have learned to do.

Any Limitation Can Be A Blessing And A Skill You Determine If It Is

You and I, and all people, are learning machines. We’ve learned bad habits and supportive ones. It is time to begin to acknowledge this. Become aware of what you can do and accept it. Begin counting the tiniest things you do as wins. Take baby steps they pay off long term!

The baby steps you took as an infant lead to you walking as much as you have. Those early attempts and failures are what allows you to travel by foot today. Had you given up you might never have learned to be mobile. You learned by doing, not by reading how. You did it.

You did it all by trial and error. Because you persisted you developed the skill. You made it a habit so you don’t even ever have to think about it, as long as everything functions normally. If you can’t or never learned to walk there are other abilities you did learn.

Everything Is An Opportunity If You See It As Such – Believe

Take these baby steps. Re-frame, review, reflect on everything you do, supportive and unsupportive as a learned skill. They truly are! Recognize this fact and realize you learned to do everything you do. If you could learn these you can still learn anything. Apply yourself!

If you determine to do this and you do it CONGRATULATE yourself! Feel good about doing something for yourself. Act in your own best interests for you. Appreciate yourself. Feel good. Take inventory and feel great about it. You have succeeded in learning a great deal.

Our next baby steps will come next post. Meanwhile, celebrate yourself. Think about what you have accomplished in life and realize it is a great deal. Don’t compare yourself to others leave that alone for now. Just look at what YOU HAVE learned and accomplished.

Perception Is Everything – We Get What We Focus On

STOP, don’t look at things that didn’t work out. Look at things that did. Learn to have good taste. Learn to manage your thinking. Learn to develop concentration and focus. Learn to fixate your mind on the positive. You already spent enough time wallowing in the negative.

HEY YOU! You learned to wallow in the negative too! Get it? You have learned to be stuck. You have learned to feel certain less than glorious ways. You CAN absolutely change this! You CAN have the life of your dreams. You CAN learn to!  You can if you will! Do it!

The way you get back on track is once you become aware you are traveling in the wrong direction, that you have gotten off course, you STOP. You stop traveling in the wrong direction! Then begin to head in the correct direction. You turn, navigate, and get back on course.

We Become What We Think About Most – Believing Is Seeing

You must stop the old negative habits and start doing the new. You must repeat the new thoughts and behaviors enough until they become the new reliable, automatic habits. You develop new thought, feeling, speaking and behavior habits that support you.

This entire blog site is dedicated to this, My goal is to assist people to make the breakthroughs they want  in life. That means you, too! If you want it better it can and will be. Apply yourself. Take baby steps and you will inch at first, then crawl, then walk into success.

Become aware! Recognize and turn. Change direction. Recognize and validate your learning. Realize you did and can learn anything. Accept it. Decide now to learn supportive habits and commit to the process. Affirm it. Daily, affirm and apply yourself. Be patient. Do it.

Change May Not Always Be Easy – But It Is Always Possible

Soon you will notice the shifts occurring. You will notice the changes happening. Some tiny, some huge. The old habits will resist at first too. At times it will seem a struggle, get easy, then struggle again. Eventually, you will develop the new habit. It will have been worth it!

So accept, affirm and apply. Apply the new learning to yourself. The sequence is become aware of that you are a learning machine. Accept this about yourself. Validate it. Affirm it. Think: ‘I can learn to do anything I put my mind too’.  Apply yourself to changing,

Appreciate everything about your past and now. You have learned and you will learn. Appreciate the ease and the struggles. All of it helps you evolve to a higher, more positive productive level. You become comfortable being your higher self. All of you is perfect!

Focus Your Energy On Building The New Not Fighting The Old

Enjoy, delight. Have fun. Stay determined. Never quit. Challenges will come and go. Realize this. In your toughest challenge become aware and accept it. Affirm and apply yourself through it. Appreciate yourself and your challenge while encountering it and beyond. You will truly evolve beyond your wildest dreams when you celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Determine the kind of day you want to have and make it happen!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Affirmations, Habit Formation, Learning

How To Give Up Old Unproductive Ways And Become New!

2 Comments

horizons-droplets-of-life-phil-koch

“Life challenges us sometimes. Sometimes it’s snaps and breaks us. It isn’t the size of the problems. It’s not because the challenges are so large, the obstacles so overwhelming, or the problem so insurmountable that we break. It is because we are so rigid.

We are not flexible.  We don’t give and take and roll with the punches. That is why we break. If we were like the tall reed, we would bend this way and that. Because we are rigid stress cracks us. It breaks us.  Sometimes that is just the way it is or the way it was.

Sometimes we break. No use crying about water over the damn. That’s what was. That is what it is.  So get up dust off and move forward again.  Yes, it may be hard but do it anyway. Here’s the lesson:  sometimes you break and sometimes you bend.

A Storm Breaks Trees – It Only Bends Grass

Sometimes you’ll apply the lessons you’ve been learning in maintaining a positive attitude, being happy, staying centered, in a challenging situation and you will surprise yourself. You may have resolved to stay calm and centered during life’s toughest moments.

That’s how it works. It goes from being really hard applying what your learning to easier and easier. Ultimately, you learn to do new things. The old habits give way to the new habits you acquire. Once the new habits take hold it is much different. Until then…

In the midst of turmoil you might find that you’re not as agitated as you would have been in the past. You discover you are  much more centered. Calmer. Perhaps, not as much is you hoped, but more than you might otherwise have been in dealing with a huge issue.

The Reed Bends With The Wind – Stands Straight After The Storm

You stayed calmer than you would have in your past. You remained more centered. That is huge! That is a big awareness. That is good! Whenever you find yourself behaving along the lines of the direction you’re moving toward, celebrate! Acknowledge it! Become aware.

Make a point of treating it as something special! Pat yourself on the back. Give your self a hug. Gift yourself in someway for doing that. Celebrate doing that which you want to be doing more of. Be grateful you did it because you open the door to do it again  more.

When you gift yourself now for behaving as you want to you’ll get more in the future. That which you focus on expands. Be grateful for the little you do now because you’ll do a lot more later! That’s  how you learn! First it seems all up hill, you struggle. Later, you coast.

Baby Steps Are Better Than  No Steps – Keep Moving Forward

You move forward, you grow and evolve, by emphasizing and exaggerating those positive things you do. You put your energy and attention into it so that in the future you will continue to behave in these productive ways. Praise yourself when you notice. Practice!

Acknowledge and appreciate. Feel grateful for any tiny movement in the right direction. Nurture and encourage. One day in the not too distant future you will be doing more of the same positive productive behaviors. Keep at it. Don’t quit. You’ll develop the habit.

You will make it much easier on yourself and move forward more rapidly if you don’t berate yourself for screwing up but instead praise yourself for moving forward. Ignore the mistakes, except to learn from them. Correct and continue. Praise when you do well.

What We Want To Do With Ease We Must First Do With Diligence

Then, soon, you will wire in the new behaviors. Correct repetition over a long enough period of time will become habit. The easier you make it on yourself the more quickly you are able to change. The more you resist the more the old way persists. Stop resisting.

Start nurturing. Start welcoming. Stop worrying. Stop obsessive monitoring. Stop unnecessary commentary. Start acknowledging. Start encouraging. Start affirming.  You will move forward faster and easier. Be thankful. Delight in all and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Be kind to a stranger today.

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Habit Formation, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility, Visualization

How To Get The Upper Hand On Bad Decisions PT 2

2 Comments

horizons-1-crashing-phil-koch

“We are discussing how to get past chronic prior bad conditioning, habits, and move into positive new ways of being, freer and more resourceful. This blog is continued from the last. I share a couple approaches from the many participants engage in during workshops.

You can take two vantage points. One is you see yourself in your mental movie. You watch as if you are an actor on the movie screen performing the actions. You watch yourself before and after the trigger. You see yourself, the trigger the stop, calm and continue.

You view YOU behaving resourcefully. In this disassociated way of seeing you can act as a movie director would and make your mental movie screen more compelling by playing with the color, size of image, sound and other elements which contribute to your feelings.

We Are What We Repeatedly Do 

The other way is to see what you would be seeing through your own eyes. You don’t see yourself but you see the world around you. You see the other cars and drivers, the  world from your point of view. You see what you see as you do in everyday life looking forward.

Rehearse success from each vantage point. When you watch yourself going through it you would have the feelings a movie audience member would have watching a character go through the circumstances. Do you understand? You can ask questions of me.

Use comments and I’ll answer as best I can. In the other vantage point, looking through your own eyes, you’d feel how you feel actually going through it. Since it is rehearsal you may not feel all of it but you’d feel what it is like to some degree. Feel it fully.

Break Bad Habits And Make Better Ones

In this process you change what happens when you get triggered to react less than gloriously. In the movie screen version you watch yourself stop and then behave differently. In the through your eyes version you experience the trigger, feel it and alter it. Get it?

The instant you become aware that you are feeling or thinking or behaving less than gloriously you must STOP! Pause and choose to behave differently. Behave as you prefer to behave. In repeating the mental exercise again and again you are rehearsing what you WANT.

Stop mentally rehearsing what you do NOT want. That is how you have been living and getting what you don’t want. Focus on what you DO want. Is it difficult to change the old habit? Of course, habits can be  tough to break at first.

Small Daily Improvements Are The Key To Great Results

To break it you bring awareness to the moment; become aware of what sets it off. It may seem difficult to do at first trying to notice the moment prior to reacting less than gloriously. It is likely you will blow through it many times but keep at it.

Eventually, you will notice sooner. You will get quicker at it. Your awareness will increase and you will be able to slip into that gap and divert the energy. No one can say how soon this will happen so you have to commit to sticking with it. Don’t give up keep at it.

Eventually, you will gain the upper hand. Mastery of anything, any skill, talent, behavior takes application, attention and practice. Repeated, correctly over a long enough period of time is how skills are developed. Even getting angry at traffic is a learned response.

Drop By Drop The Tub Fills – Awareness Is The Key To Change

In this process you learn to bring awareness to the trigger prior to being flooded with neuro-chemicals and impulses. As soon as you are aware of the changes you stop and take that deep breath interrupting the pattern you originally learned.

Interrupt it enough. Divert it with useful behavior you’d prefer to engage in and soon you will have developed new habits. It may take a little time so be patient. The more committed your are to learning the new behaviors the easier and quicker they will take hold.

Appreciate the process. I am sharing one of a number of approaches you can utilize to make changes. As always practice gratitude and positivity.  Fill your life with celebration. Enjoy the process because you can make some powerful changes. Enjoy celebration and celebrate everything.” Rex Sikes

What will you do to have a glorious day?

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Habit Formation, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility, Visualization

How To Get The Upper Hand On Bad Decisions

Leave a comment

horizons-hereafter-phil-koch

“Okay, are you ready for some tough love. I know some people won’t like what I am about to say, while others will heartily agree. I think it needs to be said. Some people don’t like to hear things but the bottom line is we don’t know what we don’t know. We can’t.

I may make this two parts. I don’t know, nor can I know, what it is that I don’t know, given my present state of awareness. I can’t connect the dots forward but I can after the fact, go back and see how they lead up to this moment. But I can’t know in advance.

SO whether you want to hear this or not, perhaps you need to. I need to that is for certain. So what is good for the goose is good for the gander, right? I share this because I think it is one of the main reasons people have difficulty in their lives. Ready, here goes.

Good Decisions Come From Experience

If your life is crap it is because you ALREADY, outside of you own awareness, decided it is crap. The decision was made for you, by you, out of old chronic conditioning. Your very own habits determined how you would react. They’ll determine how you react to this blog.

You (we) react before you (we) have any awareness of what was happening. That is how the brain works. It learns to do things and then it does them automatically. Something internal or external triggers a programs and away it goes. It runs on and on.

Until or unless something happens to alter it or stop it, it does what it LEARNED to do.  Habits are wired in. There are good habits and good programs that run a lot of your life. There are other habits many might label less than glorious. Many of these run your life too.

Experience Comes From Bad Decisions – Learn From Everything

For example, getting very mad because traffic is ‘bad’. You don’t have to. Some people don’t, but, you do, (IF you do)  because that is what you’ve always done. Somewhere, at sometime, you reacted that way enough until it became a reliable neural highway in your head.

Chemicals squirt and electric impulses fire off in a particular sequence and voila’ ROAD RAGE! It is reliable. It is automatic. It happens fast. It happens every time. You live with road stress. You’d prefer not to but you haven’t changed it, yet. It is reliable!

If this occurs day and night, to work and back this is NO way to spend your time. It is no way to spend your time in a car. Some people don’t stop there. They recount the story, feeling stressed each time they do, multiple times throughout the day.

You Are Not A Product Of Circumstances But Of Decisions

Some people are worse at this than you are, but many others are far better. They aren’t bothered at all about traffic. They travel to and from places hardly ever getting ruffled for even a little bit. For some others it may be a mild nuisance. Annoying but they let it go.

The only way to change it IS to change it. You have to get inside and make a new decision before the old one fires off.  BUT how on earth can you do that? How do you extinguish the chronic behavior? You have to teach the brain ‘Not That’ but ‘This’ instead.

You have to train your brain to NOT DO THAT but to do this other thing instead. You have to shift from rage to relaxed. HOW? Awareness is the key. Since you can’t stop it before the trigger results in a flood of electro-chemical activity you must catch it.

The Most Important Decision You Make Is To Be In A Good Mood

You must catch it shortly afterwards. The sooner the better. SO you must become sensitized to what sets it off. You must know the trigger. You must know the trigger point. You learn what this is by deciding to change it. That is the first step. You make a decision.

Then you bring awareness to the situation. You begin to plan. ‘When that occurs I’ll do this instead.’ You can really benefit from visualization here. Imagine the situation that sets the sequence off. As you begin to see and feel yourself go into the old behavior, STOP.

Imagine yourself creating a pause. STOP, see yourself take a deep breath. TAKE ONE! Or two or three. Imagine yourself being aware that as it starts you stop it by changing your breathing. Visualize this again and again. You stop, breath and watch yourself shift.

To Change Your Life You Must Change Your Habits

Watch yourself calm down and behave differently. See yourself behave how you want to behave. You stop, calm, and drive normally. You stay calm and relaxed, but attentive and alert to the driving process. You imagine being how you want to be at that moment.

You rehearse the behavior again and again in your mind. There are two perceptual vantage points to take and I have just described one. I’ll describe the other in the next blog. For now you can practice this with any issue you would like to change. Practice on something mild.

It is always wise to choose something that is not to emotionally significant or overpowering at first. Learn the process, get good at it before moving on to more emotionally charged issues. This is wise practice. Take baby steps leading up to bigger change.

Replace Your Negative Thought Habits With Positive Ones

Practice making the changes. Practice your feeling gratitude. Begin and end each day and each practice session looking for this to feel grateful about and express your appreciation for these. Feel it fully and enjoy and delight int he feelings. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Have a glorious day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights

6 Comments

horizons-the-tetons-phil-koch

“Some people fear heights. Some don’t. What do you suppose makes the difference between those who fear something and those who don’t? Don’t you think it must be how they use their minds? Some use it for fear some do not. They must use their minds differently.

‘I am afraid of heights’. Yup, keep repeating that to yourself and see how quickly you are able to get over it. You won’t change as long as you keep telling the same story over and over! As long as you keep reaffirming what you fear you get to keep it for as long as you do.

But you say, that is my reality. Yes, and it doesn’t have to be!

YOU keep it your reality by retelling it AS reality. IF you want your life to change YOU have to change SOME THINGS in your life. You must affirm what you WANT not what you don’t want. ‘I am calm and comfortable. I stay peaceful and centered. I enjoy this.’

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t – You Are Right

‘I enjoy different views’. ‘I can look and feel safe. I am confident.’ If you keep saying you are scared or terrified you remain scared and terrified. People perpetuate their fears and what they are frightened of over and over again. STOP IT! Doesn’t this make sense to you?

If it does, you can change. You CAN change almost any reaction or response you have. You need to stop telling yourself and others the same old thing. You need to put this old story to rest. Quit it! Stop telling the story of what you don’t want and of how you are broken.

Start telling yourself and others the way you want it to be. Imagine yourself free and able. Stop making pictures of falling and make pictures of standing comfortably and enjoying it. See yourself confident and calm. See yourself as you’d like to be. Imagine THIS!

Skill To Do Comes Of Doing – Drop By Drop The Tub Fills

Imagine looking through the eyes of someone (you) who is able to enjoy heights. Imagine looking out and feeling calm and feeling wonderful. Get the feeling of being safe and secure because you truly are. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Relax. Calm.

Feel confident and calm. Feel centered. Feel grounded. Feel safe. Feel AS IF you can do this. Feel secure. Feel comfortable. Get a sense of the feelings you want to have more of. Wrap those feelings around you. Feel them fully. Imagine feeling great doing new things.

Seek what you want and you can have it. Stop affirming what you don’t want. Quit living the way you wish you wouldn’t and start living the way you wish you would. Focus on what you want. Stop focusing on what you do not want. Drop it. Let it go. Get over it!

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You 

Be wise about everything. Take it bit by bit. Gradually expose yourself to greater heights. Inch by inch, step by step. You don’t have to go any faster than you maintain feeling comfortable. Learn to anchor those positive resourceful feelings for yourself.

Get comfortable prior to moving up. Have a trusted buddy with you. Ease into it. You can do this. You absolutely can. Be safe and don’t take unnecessary risks. Stay behind the safety rails and in the appropriate areas. You can do this. Think ‘I can’ instead of I can’t.

Repeated exposure to a fear tends to diminish it over time. Keep at it. Repetition is the mother of skill. Correct repetition, for a long enough time makes the skill a habit. Develop the habit of being comfortable at any height. You can. Take your time and ease into it.

The More We Do – The More We Can Do

Feel grateful that your fear was there to keep you safe. Realize that ‘great fear’ is an over reaction to some things many people can comfortably do. When it is an unreasonable reaction to being at safe heights then perhaps you want to change it. Thank yourself.

Be grateful you look out for yourself even if you over react. Thank yourself. Appreciate yourself. Think, ‘Thanks and I want to do new things, explore new heights and continue to be safe. I will be prudent and wise. Let’s do this.’ Enjoy exploring and adventuring in new ways.

Find ways to delight yourself. Use motivating thoughts, messages, and music to stay resourceful. See yourself changing in your mind’s eye and being able to comfortably do that which you want to do. Feel how good it feels to be free and able to do it.

If You Really Want To Do It You’ll Find A Way – If Not – An Excuse

Notice these sensations. Pay attention to the sensations that feel good. Notice where in your body you feel them the strongest. Really feel these. Remember them. Anchor them. Lock them in for yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. Enjoy learning to do new things and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

It is a new day. A new moment.  Celebrate it!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word.

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!