Category Archives: Learning

Acceptance, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Learning

What To Do When You Really Disappoint Yourself!

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“Have you ever let yourself down? Have you ever disappointed yourself? Have you ever done the exact opposite of what you intended to do? Did you ever say, ‘I won’t do that’, only to then do it. I sure have. Countless times. Sometimes, too often.

So what to do when you behave less than gloriously or even badly. You can accept it. Accept that you aren’t perfect. Accept that there are times when you don’t do as you intend. Accept, forgive and love yourself anyway. You aren’t perfect stop pretending to be. Let it go!

Far too often we are harsh on ourselves because we think we should be further along than we actually are. You can see this a lot watching people learn a new sport or activity. They get frustrated because they think it should be easier than it is. They loose patience. I have.

Accept What Is – Let Go Of What Was – Accept All – Allow All

Have you ever done this? I do it all the time. Own it. Live up to it. We take golf swings, throw basketballs, play music on an instrument and get mad when we don’t perform correctly. Knock it off. Stop thinking  you are better than you are. Accept mistakes. Laugh it off instead.

We want to be perfect. We expect perfection even if we think we are a loser. There is no end to how we can criticize and blame ourselves. We will rag on ourselves coming and going if we could. Right? It is time to learn a new way of being don’t you think? You can, you know.

So accept. Let go. Forgive, truly and love yourself even though you aren’t perfect. Love yourself. Then learn. Extract the lesson from the situation. What could you have done differently that would have been more resourceful, productive, beneficial, co-operative? Ask.

Accept The Rainy Days Accept The Storms They Are Part Of Life

Ask of yourself and listen silently for the answer. Examine and reflect. Don’t judge. Stop criticizing. Listen to what you might have thought, felt, said, or acted differently that may have made a difference. Learn from this. Decide to not do the old behavior again.

Intend to be the new way. You may and it might take many practice attempts or slip ups until you finally ‘get it’ and do it or live it. Do you understand this? Repetition is the mother of skill. You made the old way a habit, now you need to be patient while you make a new one.

New habits can take time. So be prepared to love yourself through it. Accept yourself. Keep moving forward as best you are able. You can critique your behavior but don’t criticize yourself for screwing up. You do what you do in the situation and perhaps next time do better.

You Don’t Need To Be Accepted By Others – Accept Yourself

Take the pressure off yourself. This doesn’t give you license to do the old behavior, especially if it involves others, but it gives you permission to be human. Humans make mistakes. Humans don’t always do everything perfectly. It is okay! You did what you did.

If it involves others and you need to apologize do so. Own up. Take responsibility. Learn to communicate more effectively. Build bridges instead of burning them down. I have burned some bridges and in most cases it only hurt me more. Respect others and respect you.

Some times you examine the situation and discover there was nothing you could have done that would have made any difference. You can’t change the physicality of it. Then accept it. If you can change your response to it change your response!

Mistakes Are Part Of Life If You Don’t Make Them You Don’t Learn

When you can’t change an event change your response. Instead of trying to change other people change yourself. You are in the driver’s seat of your mind and your life not in charge of world events or other people’s minds and lives. Let go of trying to control things.

Accept that the ‘crappy event’ was a blessing to learn and evolve from. It may take time to see how but allow for it. I have done things long ago and not so long ago that I may be ashamed of. I have hurt people with my words or provoked others unnecessarily.

I have given the finger to unsuspecting drivers on the road. We all have things we aren’t proud of or that we sometimes do that surprise us. Even when everything is going exceptionally well. Don’t let one act ruin the record of good days. It is like quitting smoking.

Welcome Challenges Every Situation Is An Opportunity To Learn

If you slip up and have a cigarette don’t stop quitting because you had one. Stay quitting. Okay, you slipped up. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on. Keep to the program. Get it. Some people abandon everything because of one mistake or slip up. Don’t.

Do stay the course. Keep growing and evolving and living and laughing. Get back on track when derailed. Forgive yourself, forgive others, allow it to be. Accept it as opportunity. You don’t have to know all the answers or the ‘whys’ and reasons.

You may want to but most of everything is a big mystery. Why, heck I don’t know, simply because. Why is what we learned to ask as a child and we keep doing it. The answers aren’t much better as we get older. It just IS! Accept what is. Learn to go with the flow. Allow.

Keep Going Don’t Quit Just Because You Made A Mistake – Persist

Give and receive. Receive grace. receive joy. Receive love. Receive forgiveness. Receive peace. Receive awareness. Give these and more in return. Learn to be grateful. It hurts when things go wrong, or the apple cart is upset, but get over it. Take your time if you need.

Learn that if you love and accept and respect yourself. If you allow and accept what is. You can do the same for others. Whether they return it or not you can still do it. In many cases they won’t return it.

What if you changed for the better yet the rest of the world remain the same? How would you enjoy it? It would be completely up to you then wouldn’t it? It would, right. Everyone else is the same but you chance. Guess what, that is how it already is. You transform.

Forgiveness Is Something You Do For Yourself To Forgive Is Divine

Don’t concern yourself with other people’s personal evolution. Live and let live. When you disappoint yourself imagine you counsel a young person you love. What loving, kind words would you say? What might the child like to hear? What might the child need?

Okay, live and lough and laugh. Feel gratitude even when things go awry. I am always reminded of Jesus, whether you believe it or not, the story is he asked forgiveness for his tormentors while he was in torment. He didn’t wait until all was good, he did it while suffering.

Whether true or a story I think it is a great example. Forgive others and forgive yourself even while in the midst of turmoil. Even when nothing changes in the circumstances. Forgiveness isn’t FOR the other person, it is for YOU. It is for your transformation.

Love Yourself For Who You Are – Friend Yourself – You Deserve To

Transform. You aren’t perfect. You may never be. Accept the good and the not so good as you do the day and the night. Judgement is what makes something acceptable and unacceptable. Yes, there are ways we treat others that may be either. Know which is which.

Live with imperfection. Enjoy being human. Don’t expect to be superhuman or perfect. Don’t live in delusion. Life CAN be great and YOU CAN make your dreams come true THAT isn’t fantasy. Utopia or utopian like perfection is deluded. You can live enlightened.

Be enlightened while the world is as it is. So give yourself room to make mistakes and to correct them. Accept yourself for not being perfect. be grateful for the opportunity to learn, change, correct and continue on. Be thankful for all and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make the most of each moment!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Conditioning, Getting Over The Past, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

A Method For Getting Over Any Fear You Have

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“My recent blog, ‘ A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights’ includes a powerful approach for making changes. For decades I have successfully helped people use this to get over fear of heights, flying, getting out of their house after years shut in, meeting people and many other irrational fears. People can change.  So can you!

Fear is good. Pain is good. It is only a signal that we should pay attention to. When fear becomes immobilizing for an everyday activity that most people engage in, then it is worthwhile addressing and overcoming it. Most fears can be readily dismissed quite easily.

While I use a myriad of approaches and methods I shared one incredibly effective approach so that you, or anyone, could begin using it to overcome limitations of any kind. What works for fear of heights works in other situations as well. Use it. Yes, use it!

Whether You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t You Are Right

The key to being more effective in your life is gaining control over your own thinking process and emotions. Sometimes that means reigning in thoughts and feelings that are wildly flooding us. It is a tad more difficult after the flooding occurs than prior to it.

This means you can learn it as a preventive measure. You can learn it in advance of when you need it. You can practice and make habits those thoughts, feelings and actions when you aren’t pressured by taking the time to train them to work in your behalf.  Practice!

Preparation is a huge part of any endeavor. If you want to be able to do things more easily and live the kind of life free from worry and fear then take the time to learn how to do it right now. Practice. Act as if you already have made the change and are living as you want.

What We Want To Do With Ease We Must First Do With Diligence

ACT AS IF. Notice how good that feels. Notice the thoughts you have. Feel this fully and think the thoughts repeatedly. Condition your mind and body to work for you instead of against you. It is only doing what it has learned to do in the past, for whatever reasons.

Now train it to do what you want it to do instead. It will learn the new way too. Be patient and take the time to learn and condition yourself. Body shaping, food management, learning to sew or play basketball all take time. Be patient and expect the best. Visualize.

Support and encourage yourself. If you wish, get some training, get a coach or mentor, however, you can do this with a friend or on your own. Take your time and learn thoroughly. Enjoy the process of making changes. Control your mind and feelings. Affirm! Declare!

Correct Repetition Is The Mother Of Skill – Learn To Use It 

The benefits are beyond belief. You can’t yet imagine how wonderfully your life will change for the good, and it will when you take the appropriate action. Then, in time, step by step you will begin to notice how much more delightful everything is all around .

Change can be fun and easy. Inertia, getting up off the coach or out of our comfort zone, is what prevents most people. That, and that they don’t think change is possible for them. I am here to tell you it is absolutely possible. Don’t believe me. Prove it to yourself! You can!

You absolutely can! Start feeling gratitude for everything. Even your outrageous fear that has attempted to keep you safe. Be thankful for everything. Express your gratitude for your ability to change and for the changes you have made and will make. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How delightful will you make your day today?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Getting Over The Past, Habit Formation, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

A Method For Getting Over Your Fear Of Heights

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“Some people fear heights. Some don’t. What do you suppose makes the difference between those who fear something and those who don’t? Don’t you think it must be how they use their minds? Some use it for fear some do not. They must use their minds differently.

‘I am afraid of heights’. Yup, keep repeating that to yourself and see how quickly you are able to get over it. You won’t change as long as you keep telling the same story over and over! As long as you keep reaffirming what you fear you get to keep it for as long as you do.

But you say, that is my reality. Yes, and it doesn’t have to be!

YOU keep it your reality by retelling it AS reality. IF you want your life to change YOU have to change SOME THINGS in your life. You must affirm what you WANT not what you don’t want. ‘I am calm and comfortable. I stay peaceful and centered. I enjoy this.’

If You Think You Can Or You Think You Can’t – You Are Right

‘I enjoy different views’. ‘I can look and feel safe. I am confident.’ If you keep saying you are scared or terrified you remain scared and terrified. People perpetuate their fears and what they are frightened of over and over again. STOP IT! Doesn’t this make sense to you?

If it does, you can change. You CAN change almost any reaction or response you have. You need to stop telling yourself and others the same old thing. You need to put this old story to rest. Quit it! Stop telling the story of what you don’t want and of how you are broken.

Start telling yourself and others the way you want it to be. Imagine yourself free and able. Stop making pictures of falling and make pictures of standing comfortably and enjoying it. See yourself confident and calm. See yourself as you’d like to be. Imagine THIS!

Skill To Do Comes Of Doing – Drop By Drop The Tub Fills

Imagine looking through the eyes of someone (you) who is able to enjoy heights. Imagine looking out and feeling calm and feeling wonderful. Get the feeling of being safe and secure because you truly are. There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Relax. Calm.

Feel confident and calm. Feel centered. Feel grounded. Feel safe. Feel AS IF you can do this. Feel secure. Feel comfortable. Get a sense of the feelings you want to have more of. Wrap those feelings around you. Feel them fully. Imagine feeling great doing new things.

Seek what you want and you can have it. Stop affirming what you don’t want. Quit living the way you wish you wouldn’t and start living the way you wish you would. Focus on what you want. Stop focusing on what you do not want. Drop it. Let it go. Get over it!

You Go Where Your Thoughts Take You 

Be wise about everything. Take it bit by bit. Gradually expose yourself to greater heights. Inch by inch, step by step. You don’t have to go any faster than you maintain feeling comfortable. Learn to anchor those positive resourceful feelings for yourself.

Get comfortable prior to moving up. Have a trusted buddy with you. Ease into it. You can do this. You absolutely can. Be safe and don’t take unnecessary risks. Stay behind the safety rails and in the appropriate areas. You can do this. Think ‘I can’ instead of I can’t.

Repeated exposure to a fear tends to diminish it over time. Keep at it. Repetition is the mother of skill. Correct repetition, for a long enough time makes the skill a habit. Develop the habit of being comfortable at any height. You can. Take your time and ease into it.

The More We Do – The More We Can Do

Feel grateful that your fear was there to keep you safe. Realize that ‘great fear’ is an over reaction to some things many people can comfortably do. When it is an unreasonable reaction to being at safe heights then perhaps you want to change it. Thank yourself.

Be grateful you look out for yourself even if you over react. Thank yourself. Appreciate yourself. Think, ‘Thanks and I want to do new things, explore new heights and continue to be safe. I will be prudent and wise. Let’s do this.’ Enjoy exploring and adventuring in new ways.

Find ways to delight yourself. Use motivating thoughts, messages, and music to stay resourceful. See yourself changing in your mind’s eye and being able to comfortably do that which you want to do. Feel how good it feels to be free and able to do it.

If You Really Want To Do It You’ll Find A Way – If Not – An Excuse

Notice these sensations. Pay attention to the sensations that feel good. Notice where in your body you feel them the strongest. Really feel these. Remember them. Anchor them. Lock them in for yourself. You can do anything you put your mind to. Enjoy learning to do new things and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

It is a new day. A new moment.  Celebrate it!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Awareness, Energy, Focus, Learning

Why You Must Learn To Be Centered And Stay Open

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“Do you ever feel stuck? Have you been confused and are not sure which way to turn? You seek answers but only seem more confused by the answers you get and aren’t sure what to do? Doesn’t this suck? Would you prefer to be free? Would you like to change?

There are times when we are hyper-resistant to what is going on. We resist what is. We could remain open. We could remain open and discover what Is actually there. Instead we project what we think is there. We judge. Our judgements stem from our conditioned mind.

We ask others for answers and then run those through our pre-existing filters and biases. We don’t like what the answers seem to be or we’re stuck and unable to decide. We fear making the wrong decision. Often, we vacillate and just spin wheels for a long time.

Nothing Is As Painful As Being Stuck Where You Don’t Belong

We aren’t available to what IS because we are too busy running around in our minds. We actually need to stop. We need to pause so we can decelerate. We need to take a breath and open up so we can actually notice what IS and free up from unproductive thinking.

Opening up and staying open may seem to be a difficult but it is eminently do-able but we have to practice it. We have to practice returning to center. We have to practice shifting. We have to practice opening up and experience what it is like.

Most of us didn’t grow up learning this. All of us were conditioned from birth on by the thoughts, actions, feelings, the preferences and prejudices of those around us. Most of our conditioning occurred before age 3 and was locked in by age 7. This is what we live from.

Fear Worry Regret – Will Consume You For As Long As You Let It

We can change it but only if we determine to change it. We can change it but only if we become aware that it needs to be changed. For many, crises and major downfalls are the precipitating ‘events’ or circumstances that lead to transformation. We CAN change!

Once we learn to open up and actually become present we can make better choices. Our resources are freed up. We aren’t engaged in ‘monkey minded thinking’ flitting from this possibility to that. We need to stop thinking at least momentarily and gather our energy.

If we stay open we can potentially discover more of what is going on, without judgement, and be there honestly in the moment. If we assume anything at all we miss the moment. We miss if we are in our heads evaluating what is going on. We miss so much anyway.

Be Present To Whatever Is Unfolding Right Now – Here And Now

This is why learning to develop focus and concentration is important. This is why learning to control and manage our thoughts and feelings is important so we can shift when necessary. So we can place our energy and attention where it is most useful. we can BE!

Instead of repeating chronic, habitual thoughts and behaviors we can learn new ones that serve us better. In the present we are more free to choose than from our conditioned past. This is why it is useful to focus on a candle, or on our breath. To learn how we become free.

The process to learn is to be able to return our attention when it strays. I have described this numerous times in these blog pages. We learn to come back to our center. We learn how to return to now, the present, instead of going off into past or future thoughts. NOW!

Realize This – The Present Moment Is All You Have – Drop In

Become aware of now. Stop the distractions. Then we can find our true essence, our true feelings, our true being. From this authentic place we can act free from the constraints of our habitual thinking. We can think freely and productively. We can decide.

This ability is developed  through time and devoted attention. It is developed by dedication and practice. It is a process. You can do it and discover how beneficial it is. It is harder to describe than to experience. Once you find your center you know where to return to.

Meditate. Let go. Observe without labeling. At first, you will discover glimpses. Seconds of awareness. As you progress you will discover longer moments. Spend time in the gap between thoughts and words. Notice this space and enjoy it. Ancient people knew this!

Live In The Present – Find Eternity In Each Moment – Be Here Now

Become aware. It is freeing. Read through my recent and past blogs for what and how to practice. Then engage. Doing makes it real. Thought translates into results. Don’t just be informed. Use the information for transformation.  AND ALWAYS live with gratitude and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Now Is the time. Here is the place. Celebrate it!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Creating The Future, Learning, Positive Thinking, Unlimited Power

How To Stay Young, Free And Independent In Mind, Body And Spirit

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Today’ blog is an audio blog. I was interviewed by Lori Dean for airplay on a radio station fall of 2015.  I received the raw mp3 of that discussion a day or two ago. The discussion we had is on how we use our mind’s to be happier and successful.

Lori Dean Interviews Rex Sikes

Enjoy listening. Thanks, to Lori Dean. Click on this link to listen:

Smile and enjoy your day!

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Awareness, Learning, Trust

How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over And End Self-Sabotage Forever!

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“Do you ever feel that despite your best, even your strongest, intentions, that some how you screw up? You go counter to what you want. You somehow sabotage your own efforts? Ever feel like that? You want to do something, but you don’t, or you do the opposite?

Here is a real life example of an important principle. I took some things to my son’s school this morning. While returning home I decided that at a particular intersection I would go straight to avoid traffic that was sure to be down the road to the east.

I drove thinking about upcoming meetings and activities. I got to the intersection turned right and headed east. Immediately, I became aware that I did not do as I had hoped and intended. Instead of going straight I automatically went home the way I normally would.

You Know More Than You Think You Do – Trust Yourself

I chuckled and thought okay, traffic or not here I come. I patted myself on the back for doing what I normally do automatically and suggested to myself to co-operate with the intentions I wish to set. BTW, there wasn’t any traffic. It was completely clear.  A surprise.

I realized that even while I intended to set a new course to avoid traffic my brain took me the old way, anyway. Here is the important point I am endeavoring to make. My brain did not sabotage me. It did what it normally does. It did the right thing! It took the normal route.

In spite of my intention it did what it reliably does. It was working as it was supposed to. I could get upset and angry and think that my intentions had been thwarted by a belligerent subconscious but that is not the case. It followed neural pathways and habits. It was good.

You Already Work Perfectly Well – Stop Fighting Yourself

It IS good! Many people buy into the notion of self sabotage. That is not the case at all. The sabotage explanation is not the most beneficial, nor useful, nor accurate description of what is occurring.. BUT it  does serve to fill therapist offices and sell lots of books.

We are not enemies of ourselves. Unless you believe you are. If you have that belief, change it. Our brain looks for supporting evidence for whatever we believe and think. You’ ll find examples for whatever you believe. Believe things that support and uplift you.

Sabotage is a label or description of a process. It is calling a process a thing. It is a judgement. If you remove the judgement and see the process for what it is, or what they are, then you understand there is no malevolent intent by your inner self. It is all good and all friendly.

Accept Yourself – Believe In Yourself – Realize You Are Amazing

Your inner child does not hate you! Your subconscious isn’t trying to screw you over. Get it? We are dealing with processes that run outside of our conscious awareness. They are reliable, predictable even. They run like clockwork because that is what we learned to do.

When we decide to change that is a new conscious decision. It is not unconscious yet. It is a new thought about what you want to do. You need to make this intention unconscious if you want to change. You need for your subconscious mind to GET the new intention!

Once it GETS IT, once it understands it, it becomes the new way to be. Obviously, your subconscious isn’t getting it the same way you understand things. It doesn’t work that way. It works by conditioning, repetition, exposure, deliberate practice to get it.

Start Trusting Yourself And You Will Know How To Live

It isn’t intellectual knowledge as when you go, ‘AHHHH okay, I get it.’ That is something entirely different. You get the point, the story, the joke but your unconscious doesn’t understand language that way. This is why feelings are so important in programming your mind.

My conscious intention was to do something else. I intended to go straight but while lost in thought I did what I normally would do. There’s no one to blame. Here’s the lesson: If I had wanted to go straight for certain, I needed to pay more attention to the process.

I needed to deliberately and consciously attend to my driving and my intentions. Even then, I may have had to override the tendency to turn. Who knows? To make sure I did what I wanted to I had to work the process. I had to be alert. I had to make it a matter of will.

Cooperation Is The Key – Cooperate With Yourself 

Do you understand where I am going with this? My brain didn’t foul me up or try to harm or prevent me from succeeding in going straight. It did what it was conditioned to do. Thank goodness because that is what we want our brains to do! Our brains work.

I wanted to change things but I didn’t insure I was attentive to the process. So the brain did what it always does. Hooray! Thank goodness for that. All is good. I learned, I need to pay more attention. I honored, myself for working perfectly. Hooray,  Hooray!

Our subconscious is like a huge ship and its power system, the engine. Our conscious mind is like the rudder. The rudder turns the ship. If you want to steer the ship you have to keep at the steering of it until, and after, it is going in the direction you want. You keep at it.

If You Realized How Powerful Your Thoughts Are …

Most people want to change but don’t do what it requires to change. They have been conditioned to be lazy, to want it easy, to have someone do it for them. If you want changes YOU have to make them and keep practicing them until they are yours forever.

It is a win/win. Here is the understanding I hope you derive. When we set goals and go after what we want we are using our conscious mind. If we want to be more happy, confident, relaxed or make more money, buy a new car or whatever it might be. We set it consciously.

Since that is the new change we want to make we need to focus on it and be sure we do what we intend to. Otherwise, we may discover ourselves doing as we had always done. No sabotage just prior chronic habitual conditioning playing out. Be happy to be aware!

… You Would Never Think A Negative Thought

Instead, of fighting yourself or blaming, learn to befriend yourself and co-operate with yourself. Love and honor yourself for working perfectly well. Yes, you ran the old conditioning yet again, but in time, with awareness you will change it. Keep at it! You’ll do it!

Eventually, the new program will take hold and become as automatically reliable as the old programming. Get it? So whether it is taking control of your mindset and thinking more positive thoughts or feeling happy more of the time you will as you keep at it.

Correct repetition is how we lay down the new neural pathways and habits. Yes, we need to do it enough times, and long enough, in order to wire it in. Just as we learned to do anything. Celebrate that you know you can change if you will stick with it. This is great news!

You Can Make Your Dreams Come True – Trust Your Subconscious

It may require some strong will power at times. That is a good thing, We all can stand to be stronger. After all, life offers many different experiences for us to grow and develop from. Enjoy, accept and allow everything. It is perfect, after all, if you decide it is. It IS!

You can change your beliefs and attitudes to be powerful and positive. You can feel joyous and delighted much more often. You can learn new skills and behaviors you have always wanted to and you can get the results and things you desire. This is excellent news!

If you are learning to Pay Yourself First, and Save and Invest, if you are learning your money management skills and it seems difficult at first, that is okay. Your prior programming wants to keep doing what it has always done to serve you. YOU are the one changing things.

Accept Yourself – Love Yourself – Be Good To Yourself – Enjoy You

Stick with it and you will make the changes. You are training your brain that you want these new thoughts and feelings and behaviors. Your brain will get it eventually. You just have to stick with it until it does. Once it becomes the new habit it is yours forever. Hooray!

Lighten up. Believe you can and you will. Your brain will support you in that. IT is your friend. It is time you become your brain’s friend. The same goes for your body. Befriend yourself! Love yourself. Feel gratitude and appreciation for everything there is!

You will discover an immense new, wonderful world open up to you. As you stop blaming and start appreciating how you actually work from the inside everything will get easier. You will find greater cooperation between your intentions and inner processes. Respect, honor, and love yourself for how you work and for being you. Accept yourself through and through. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

What will you do today to make it marvelous?

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Decision, Deliberate Creators, Habit Formation, Learning

Expert Reveals You Can Eliminate Self Sabotage Forever!

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“You can learn to eliminate self-sabotage. You  can eliminate it forever. You can free yourself up to make permanent, positive changes. The  first step is to become aware that you must change. From there nearly anything is possible if you believe it is possible.

Welcome to Part 13 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. The series continues and this post continues from the previous two. Part 14 tomorrow. Let’s go!

Once you become aware that you need to change then you go through a process. It continues until the new change is reliably in place. This takes as long as it takes. It is as easy or hard as it is, or as you think it is. Your mindset determines much of  everything.

When you begin to change you don’t want to set up a contentious, oppositional fight with yourself.  You don’t want to create resistance. You want to align you resourcefulness. You want to be of one mind and congruent, not conflicted.

You Can Do Whatever You Believe You Can Do

This is why what you believe is possible is important. You want to establish a respectful relationship between your brain and your new desire. You want to align you conscious and subconscious minds for the changes and have them work together, not oppose each other.

Both are correct. Your subconscious wants to do what it knows to do and run on and on the patterns it has learned so well. It remains faithful and consistent. Your conscious mind wants new change to get better results and to feel better in life. Both are correct.

You consciously want to replace the old ways with something new. The easiest way is to honor the old. Be grateful. Thank yourself for working  perfectly. Some people want change so much they resent themselves. They think they sabotage themselves, remember.

It Is All A Mind Game – You Play On The Inside

Insulting yourself adds injury not better co-operation. I am describing this as is your subconscious cares. It doesn’t but consider this. Treat it as if it did. Act as if you are trying to gain the cooperation of a friend, make it an ally and not fight with it.

Get used to respecting all of you instead of thinking about yourself as trying to screw things up. Manage you self-talk and images, keep them positive. Think ‘what you want’ not what you don’t want. Understand? Pretend, it is a person you want to work with you!

It is you! And you have learned many things. Your goal is to line them up, all working together, pursuing the same goals and dreams. Think about people in a boat all sitting and facing in the same direction rowing at the same time to get somewhere.

You Have Learned To Do So Many Marvelous Things

It works better when they work together that way then independently at different times creating opposition. Get it? Your goal is to get yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, your actions together on the same page, congruent, cooperating. Together!

Consider that computer hardware can work perfectly well even if the software has a few bugs. You may not get the results you want due to the software but the hardware works as it is supposed to. Your brain works as it is supposed to. Stop complaining.

Acknowledge it works well. Be grateful. Respect it. Love yourself for it. For goodness sake don’t dis it! Be glad. Enjoy, Celebrate. Be thankful old habits die hard and you live consistently. Be thankful your learning lasts and you carry out what you learned to do.

It Is All About Learning To Learn And To Grow And To Change

Be thankful you can learn anything. You have already. You have learned positive and negative, useful and useless things. YOU can learn ANYTHING! Celebrate this. You can learn the new positive change you want to make and have it reliable too! Be happy.

Acknowledge you are a great learner. Accept it. Enjoy it. You have now decided to change. That is cool. Since you have learned well before you can now too. You are a great learner! Do you get the mindset you are adapting. You are getting rid of the old one.

You are creating a new, positive, confident, new one. You are using your thoughts to change your thoughts by thinking good things about what you want instead of the old, chronic, negative habitual thoughts that kept you conflicted. Do you understand this?

Direct Your Mind And Changes – Celebrate Taking Charge

To make the positive changes you now use AUTOSUGGESTION. What the heck is this? Autosuggestion is or are suggestions you give yourself or self-suggestions. You use your own self-talk. You replace the old suggestions with new ones you want to support you.

They may not seem or be true at first. That is okay. The old ones weren’t necessarily true at all. You accepted them as reality so they shaped your reality and determined what you did or didn’t do, what you tried or wouldn’t try. They limited you in particular fasion.

NOW you change the content and decide WHAT you want to believe that will be useful. You monitor and manage your self-talk suggestions to give yourself only the  positive messages you want to replace the old, chronic negative ones you originally learned, with.

Be The Captain Of Your Ship – Pilot It To Where You Want To Go

Why do you use autosuggestion? Remember?  It is because you originally learned from what you were told, and heard and saw around you. Much of your learning was second hand, as well as, first hand. You are replacing that old conditioning with the new.

You override the old message with the new. This is why you do it and this is HOW you do it. You do it through repetition because the messages you originally learned you learned that way. You learn using your emotions. Then it was probably haphazard what you felt.

Now you deliberately utilize the best feelings to wire in the change. The subconscious is driven by the strong feelings you feel. Feelings deliver the message and make the difference. Your thoughts govern your emotions which govern your actions and results.

You Grew Up HowYou Grew Up – Now You Grow Deliberately

Anything you do you have learned to do, nearly 100% of the time, by repeating the activity enough. From crawling, walking, feeding oneself, using the toilet, reading, writing, riding a bike, driving a car, dribbling a basketball, knitting a scarf, using the computer or phone.

Whatever it is , most all human activity, writing, speaking, thinking, spelling, math, anything. To get good at it required practice. Think games. The more fun you have, the better you feel the more you want to play. The more you do the better you get.

Mastery comes from continued correct and improved repetition. It occurs over time. I repeat, most anything you learned you learned by repeating it again and again. To stay good, to maintain your edge you continue to practice. Pro athletes stay pros by practicing.

When You Are In Control You Dictate The Circumstances

They don’t become the best and then quit the process. Once they arrive they continue the process IF they want to stay good. That is how they get better. Consistent, dedication even when the best, to remain the best is required.

There are a rare, few things that one might learn almost instantly. You might dislike a food your first try. You could learn to like it by continuing to sample it. A Phobia may and can occur because of one powerful, intense and significant experience.

It is a unique one time learning event. Most people don’t have true phobias. They may have fears but not genuine phobias, although, some will. All things are learned over time by repetition with a couple possible exceptions. That is the process.

Lead Yourself As The Best Leader In The World Would

You learned to be who you are growing up over time. Understand to change habits it may take some time. Don’t bother about how long it takes because you can begin to make progress right from the starting point. That is good news.

Step by step, bit by bit you will get there. Just keep at it. Be persistent and consistent and you will get there. If it gets tough keep going. When it gets easier keep going. Enjoy the process all the way through. From the moment you start if you decide you can have fun.

If you decide you can have fun changing and growing then you will. How it is will be up to you! That is what is great about changing now. You deliberately get to determine how you want to go through it. You run the show. You make the decisions.

Become A Compassionate Benevolent Leader Of Yourself

You may encounter all sorts of other things, snags, and obstacles but you decide how you want to handle them. In doing this you learn control and how to maintain it. If you accept responsibility for all of it you will guide yourself as needed. It is an amazing process.

You repeat to yourself the new positive suggestions over and over again. You fill your mind with CAN DO thinking instead of Can’t Do thinking. You set your mind straight and develop the winner ‘I can do anything’ attitude ‘when I learn how’!

You keep thinking and repeating these positive mantras. These positive self-suggestions. When times get tough you keep repeating. When you don’t feel like it you keep repeating, You feel the best you can during all of this. You keep going no matter what.

Positively Direct The Changes You Want To Make 

Encourage strong emotions while you do this. Feel excited, feel eager, feel enthused, feel confident, feel powerful, feel angry, whenever you feel powerfully strong emotions that is what signals the brain that your words are important.

It really isn’t the words it is the feeling that accompanies them. You can repeat words listlessly, or apathetically forever without much change or you can change fairly quickly by chanting them out loud powerfully. Intense, positive strong emotions works great.

Your words and feelings and what you see in your mind, what you visualize work together in powerful combination to bring about the new changes. You remain congruent and aligned as you pursue and manage your new changes.

To Enjoy Enduring Success Travel In Advance Of The World

See yourself as already changed. Feel the wonderful feelings you’d feel when you are like that. Make it right now in the present not someday far off. Feel as though you are it and have it this moment! Notice how great it feels. This is how you change.

Stick with it no matter what. Develop the attitude that you can do this no matter what. Athletes continue to workout even when they may not feel like it. They also know that by working out when they don’t feel like it – they will begin to feel like it as they work out.

People wait to feel motivated, You can’t. Motivation doesn’t come from sitting on your butt waiting. Motivation comes through action. Do it and you will feel motivated. Wait for motivation and you will wait and wait. This is why you begin before you are ready.

Drop By Drop The Tub Gets Filled

You start right now no matter what. Begin now to have a wonderful relationship with yourself. Adore your ability to learn and be consistent. Be grateful you can learn and reproduce the behaviors you learn reliably. Appreciate that your brain.

Appreciate your subconscious does what it does. Your subconscious mind doesn’t have a critical filtering ability. It just doesn’t have it. It will learn whatever you teach it good or bad, right or wrong, negative or positive. That is why one can learn to smoke.

If you learned to engage in destructive habits this is why. Your brain doesn’t judge them as that. This is also why you can put an end to them and develop new positive habits instead. The subconscious mind doesn’t judge.

Now Is The Only Time We Have

It just acquires as its own whatever messages you give it with the highest emotional signal value. It learns from signal strength repeated over and over. SO you use the same process to change now deliberately. You are in charge.

Will it go smoothly. Nope, most likely not. Will you feel frustrated and want to quit. Most probably from time to time. Learning to go through this IS PART OF LEARNING how to manage your change now. It is part of learning control and becoming a champion.

When times are tough the tough get going. Hooray. It will be all things. The more you understand this in advance the more likely you will stick with it. How many times might you try and ‘fail’ as many as you do. Just don’t quit. Keep going even if you don’t feel like it.

If You Fall Seven Times Rise Eight

If you throw in and give up rise again. It doesn’t matter how many times you fall as long as you get back up. Make it fun, enjoy the challenges, feel your best and you will make it through, in time. To gain control and self-mastery isn’t easy but it IS WORTH IT.

Be grateful you can change. Be grateful for your history. Be grateful for the opportunity to create a new one. Be grateful for everything and you will move through faster, easier and more powerfully and enjoyably. Life works best when you celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make each moment delightful!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Creating The Future, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty

Don’t Buy Into The Myth Of Self Sabotage!

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“There  is no such thing as self sabotage. The brain only does what it learns to do.  Some one labeled this activity as sabotage but it truly isn’t. It is a blessing not a curse. It just doesn’t seem like one at times.

Welcome to Part 12 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. The series continues and this post continues from the previous two. Part 13 tomorrow. Let’s go!

Believe me you want the brain to do what it does the way it does it. It has learned  to do all sorts of wonderful things. Positive beneficial things and useless and negative things. The brain learns!

Success Is Not The Key To Happiness …

The brain is a learning machine designed to keep you alive. It takes care of your survival. It creates neural pathways and then runs those neural pathways thus establishing habits so you don’t have to relearn everything again and again.

Those habits are what it learned to do. When you want to change one your brain goes into survival mode. Not full fledged fight or flight necessarily, but for some people the feelings may be intense.

It opposes the change because what it is doing IS what it learned to do. It continues to assert the old habits while you are attempting to add in the new. Because of this conflict you or someone else labels it self-sabotage. Nothing could be further from the truth.

… Happiness Is The Key To Success

It is not trying to sabotage you. It is trying to keep you successfully doing what you have always done. The issue is NOW you have decided what you learned long ago doesn’t serve you and you want to change. YOU are changing the way things worked.

In order to make changes you now want, you need to do the very same things you did when you originally learned the programming you now don’t want. You need to condition your brain in the same fashion as your earlier conditioning  but with positive updates.

How?  By repetition and powerful emotion. Early on you were influenced by others, and by their emotions as well as your own. They gave you suggestions day in and day out. They didn’t consider them suggestions they just talked to you and in front of you.

The Capacity To Learn Is A Gift

You listened, you heard, you heard them over and over and you adopted them. Sometimes, because you were emotional and sometimes because they were. You took on their ways of viewing and approaching the world. We all did it similarly.

Many messages we got were how tough things are, how hard we must work, that some people are lucky while others aren’t etc. We got a variety of self-limiting messages that resulted in our beliefs and attitudes about ourselves and the world.

Some people believe lies.

If you think, ‘I am stupid’, ‘I am not good enough’, I am too fat’, ‘I am useless’, ‘I can’t do it’, ‘I always screw things up’, ‘I am not worthy’, ‘I have to work harder’, ‘The economy prevents me from getting ahead’, ‘If only my parents had taught me better’, ‘I’m not educated’.

The Ability To Learn Is A Skill

Those sample thoughts are all lies. Yet, many people believe them. Why? because they adopted them while growing up. None of them necessarily are true or accurate but they will limit you if you accept them as true. You don’t have to believe them but you do.

That is the conditioning. It is not the mind trying to sabotage you. You could just as easily with just as much or little effort believe, ‘I can do anything I learn to do’, ‘I am capable’, I am worthy’, I am smart’, ‘Nothing can prevent me from reaching my dreams’.

But most people don’t. Why? Because they weren’t conditioned to believe this way growing up. The brain can learn either belief, it doesn’t care or judge. It just accepts them as is. Most people are stuck, not because they have to be, but because they believe the wrong beliefs.

The Willingness To Learn Is A Choice

They believe lies about themselves. They accepted them as gospel and they do nothing about it. They don’t like it necessarily and it may be uncomfortable but they believe that is who they are. They don’t realize they have a choice, UNTIL they realize they have a choice.

Here is the thing. All beliefs are lies. Positive or negative. The question is which do you choose to believe? They are either supportive or unsupportive. Which do you choose to believe? It is your choice.

This is how we go through life. We are born, get conditioned, accept that conditioning, have some experiences that verify that conditioning and lock it in. The Reticular Activating System (RAS) part of the brain is designed to do that. It finds matches.

Believing In Yourself Is The First Key To Success

Its job, beyond helping us survive, is to find a match. You say, ‘I am stupid’ and your brain goes ‘right you are’! ‘AND HERE IS WHY’ and provides you examples of screw-ups and incidents from your past and present that verify it. It looks for examples to prove you right.

Had you said, ‘I am marvelous’ your brain would look for those matches and find them just as readily. Even now you and I can say either and get matches. Most people get more of one type than they other because that is what they are most used to looking for.

Sad isn’t it. We want to change and it seems our own system prevents us. It doesn’t do it for nefarious reasons it does that for our protection and for keeping us consistent. We know who we are, what we believe and value. We will even argue about it.

It Is What We Think We Know That Keeps Us From Learning

We will fight to prove we are stupid, if we say it, and fight to prove we aren’t if someone else calls us that. Well, usually, sometimes we may agree. The point is we don’t have to believe any of these limiting beliefs we just do out of habit. We can be free of them if we choose.

Here is what it comes down to. After years of living with limitations we decide we want to change these. We know if we don’t change we will always do what we always did and continue to get the same old results we have been getting. Right? Unless we change.

That is what the brain is designed to do. To continue to get you the same results again and again reliably. You want it that way. You don’t want to walk through the door one day and into the wall the next. You want to get the same results day and night.

If You Are Not Willing To Learn No One Can Help You

NOW you want different results. So you make up your conscious mind to change. You want to lose weight or gain weight. Stop eating certain foods or begin trying new ones. You want to change your attitude. You want to feel better. You want more money.

Whatever it is you have decided you will change it. You may or may not think it will be hard to change, but sadly, most people go into it thinking it is going to be tough. It doesn’t have to be, but it is BECAUSE old habits die hard. Precisely, what you want. Remember?

You don’t want them to die off easily or the new ones wouldn’t stick either. You want it to be tough in actuality you just don’t want it to be tough for you. Am I right or am I right? You prefer it easy, yes? I understand. So do I.

If You Are Determined To Learn No One Can Stop You

In order for it to be easier you know it may take some time but you should think, ‘I can do this. It will be easy. Easy or not I will do this’. If you think it will be easy, while it may be difficult, it will be easier than if you think, ‘oh my god this is soooooo hard’. Get it? Read it again.

Your mind set determines how you go through or endure anything. Mindset, your attitude, determines 99.9% of your success and how you feel while attaining it. You want to learn to feel good no matter what. It is easier to change when you are feeling good.

If, when you begin to make the change the old habits rear up and you get upset, screw up, drop off, and decide, ‘It is too hard to change, I will never do it.’ You most probably won’t. That is a defeatist attitude for certain. Can’t throw in the towel and expect success.

Winners Have Simply Formed The Habit Of Doing Things … 

If you think, ‘I want to do it but I keep sabotaging myself’ that is as wrong to do as if you punched yourself hard in the face. You are labeling protective, survival processes your brain engages in to insure your success as sabotage. You are insulting your very self.

You are putting up additional opposition to your own ability to learn and grow. Instead of saying,’my brain is wonderful and keeps me alive and consistent’, you are saying ‘my brain is screwing with me. It sabotages me and prevents me’. Your emotions are conflicted.

Your thoughts are negative. You are not helping yourself. You are making excuses for not continuing and blaming yourself at the same time. Some people LOVE LOVE LOVE to blame themselves. They say things like ‘You don’t understand I sabotage myself!’

… Losers Never Do – Be Diligent And Win

‘You don’t understand I am chemically addicted’. ‘You don’t understand…’ as if their problems are the most significant ones in the world. No one has problems they do. They wear these as a badge of honor. They are proud they are unable. They suffer so.

They are good people and guess what? They learned to be that way. They learned to defend their unwillingness to change and blame it on anything and everything. They learned to feel good about feeling bad. It is habit for them. Yes, they can change it. Of course they can.

Tomorrow I’ll share how to change that. I give you some pointers in how you can eliminate self-sabotage for good. So be sure to read the next blog. Share too if you know people who could benefit. In the meantime, learn to be grateful for how you work. You work perfectly even when you don’t like the results you get. Love yourself.

Change Is The Result Of All True Learning

You can learn to change and get different results. So hang in there. But make it easy on yourself by loving yourself and appreciating how you already work. You change easier and more readily through acknowledgement and validation than through negativity and pain. Be grateful and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

How will you make each moment marvelous today?

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Creating The Future, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence

How To Overcome Failure And Maximize Your Success

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“We grow stronger the more we are challenged. Our minds grow stronger the more we use them just as our muscles do. Both atrophy when not used for lengths of time. Use it or lose it is how it is. We must challenge ourselves and grow through opposition.

Welcome to Part 11 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. The series continues and this post continues from yesterday. I hope you found the first 10 parts valuable. Ready, let’s go. Part 12 tomorrow.

We must grow mentally and physically, emotionally and spiritually. Whenever you begin to change anything, a belief, a behavior, an old habit, all of your old chronic past habitual conditioning and programming rears up. You feel resistance.

Failure Is A Part Of Life – If You Don’t Fail You Don’t Learn …

Some call it paradigms. Our old conditioning is doing what it is supposed to do. Those who don’t know any better call it self-sabotage. You never self-sabotage yourself! You do what you were trained to do! In order to change you have to change your training.

The instant you begin your new training you encounter the old patterns and programs asserting themselves. That is because that is what you previously learned to do. Until you learn the new way it will feel difficult. The old way will continue to exert its influence.

For awhile, it will be difficult. Soon enough, with routine practice and dedicated application, you will overcome the old conditioning and the new conditioning will take hold. You will make the changes you want. Once the new way takes hold it will be just as reliable.

… If You Don’t Learn You Don’t Change

Believe me you want it to be like this! You don’t want the old to give way too easily. If it did you’d be screwing things up every other week. You want the things you learn to be difficult to change for consistency. The brain is smarter than we think.

People who don’t know any better call this process self-sabotage, as if a part of you is trying to thwart your progress. It isn’t! It is remaining your loyal and faithful friend by resisting the new ways. It is preserving what you previously learned to do.

It attempts to keep you consistent. It is a blessing not a curse! Even if what you learned, way back then, was unwanted and not your choice, you learned it and have operated from it. Your brain didn’t care if it was positive or negative, that isn’t its job to decide.

Failure Is Part Of Success – Don’t Worry About Failure …

Its job is to learn and carry out whatever it is programmed to do. To be reliable so you don’t have to keep relearning it every day. It builds reliable pathways to follow. It creates habits. This is WHY habits are difficult to break at first. This is why it seems difficult to change.

BUT it only seems that way. Change can be easier or harder depending on your mental mindset about it. AND GUESS WHAT? Your mindset is habitual too. How you view change is how you learned to view it at another previous time. AHHHHH get it?

This is why changing your mindset and learning to control your thinking is SO CRITICAL because it is habitual too. If it doesn’t support you how you want it to then you must change it. It will keep doing what it always did until you change it. Understand?

… Worry About The Chances You Miss When You Don’t Try

These things are locked in BUT not permanently. Well, they are permanent if we never bother to try to change them. Once we begin the process we encounter all the old thinking, feeling and behaving and that is what we need to overcome.

Inertia is the principle of physics that maintains that a body at rest tends to remain at rest until a larger force acts on it. OR a body in motion tends to remain in motion unless a larger force acts on it. This is why it is difficult to push a car down the road from park.

It is also why it is difficult to stop a car with your hands once it is moving down a hillside. Momentum takes over and you just have to get out of the way at a certain point. We can understand these for our personal changes. When we do it makes things simpler.

Success In Life Simply Comes When You Refuse To Give Up

Beginning a change means overcoming the tendency to remain at rest, or stay the same. Our brains try to keep us consistent. It seems to take effort and it does but it gets easier the more we do it and the longer we do it for. Easier and easier. Still, we have to start it all.

We have to start it and keep it going until momentum takes over. Once we get to that tipping point it is ‘all down hill from there’. Change becomes easier and picks up speed. We can feel the shifting. Until we get there though we have to push through it.

This is true of our mental condition and controlling out thoughts and feelings as well as our skills and behaviors. Changing for success in 99.9% a mental game. Get your head on right and the rest follows. Most people never get the mind game understood and that sucks.

In Order To Succeed We Must First Believe We Can

They don’t get good results because their mind’s don’t serve them as they would like. They put their attention not on changing their thinking but on what is wrong with others, the economy, the environment. They blame others and the world for their ‘failures’.

So they never learn nor change. They can, and maybe someday they will, when ready, but for now they maintain their status quo. They can’t see it yet, and that is okay. When they are ready the teacher will appear. The real teacher is oneself. AND mentors are beneficial.

Changing your mind means overriding the old programming. You can do that. Bit by bit, over time, by repeating exercises and processes that help you do that. Affirmations, Directed Questions™, Visualization, using vision boards all help you change your thoughts.

I Can – I Will – End Of Story

Consistent application of new thought is how you change. Focusing on the positive most of the time is how you change. The first great step is in awareness. Become aware of whether you are mostly positive or mostly negative most of the time. AND be more positive.

Accept and welcome the process. Celebrate the fact that you learn things and adapt. Celebrate that your brain and mind serve you in a variety of ways. Failure leads to success when you apply feedback as an athlete does. Awareness is the starting place and it is required.

Examine your defeat and losses. Once at the bottom the only way to move is up. Those who have achieved great things and great wealth have often done it on the back of great loss and hardship, equal in difficulty as their good fortune is good.

The Key To Success Is To Begin Before You Are Ready

You only fail when you quit the pursuit. Once you stop it is over. As long as you continue you are not failing. Everyone who has ever succeeded in anything has met with challenges. Some seemed insurmountable at the time.

Those who continued on in spite of the hardship, made it through and reaped a reward. Those who did not lost out. What gives the person who continues the edge. What do you think it is? Their mindset, of course? What else could it or would it be?

They control their thinking and do it in spite of the difficulty or the odds. They do it in spite of not feeling like it. They do it anyway. In order to do that they must think it first. They do not let their thoughts or their thinking prevent them. Others will but not these.

Winners Never Quit And Quitters Never Win

Thomas Edison tried over 10,000 times before he found the right combination of materials that produced a working lightbulb. What if he had stopped after 3 tries as most people might do?  We all still might be reading by gas or oil lamps.

The Wright Brothers continued attempting to fly until they actually did. What might have happened or how long would it have taken if they threw in the towel? There are countless examples of people overcoming difficulty and pushing through to ultimate success.

R. U. Darby, who Napoleon Hill references, had a wealthy gold mine that dried up. Dig and dig he did but to know avail. He tossed in the towel, sold the mine and gave up. The gentleman who purchased the mine, hired a consultant who determined that gold was still there.

Fall Seven Times – Get Up Eight

They dug 3 feet from where Darby left of and struck the richest gold vein making the new owner instantly very wealthy. Darby lost a fortune. Fortunately, for him, by his own admission, he stated it was probably the best thing that ever happened to him.

He learned from his mistake and vowed to never let anything stop him again. He went into the insurance business and he learned he would not take no for an answer. He became a wealthy millionaire salesman as a result and he attributed this to missing gold by 3 feet.

If we learn from our mistakes; if we learn from obstacles and our challenges and what appears to be defeat we will learn things of incredible value. These can be positively life changing. Our challenges are our blessings too. We just don’t view them that way.

What Defines Us Is How Well We Rise After Falling

We can. Challenges contain opportunity. Your mindset, your attitude, your beliefs will determine what you see as a blessing or a problem. It will determine whether you think you can or you think you can’t accomplish something. You mindset determines if you try.

The saddest thing you can do is throw in the towel and give up. The saddest thing is to not take control of the one thing YOU can control, you mind.  Learn to control it. Make it work for you. Learn from your mistakes. Find the good and the positive in everything.

When you do you will begin to change more and more easily. The momentum takes on a life of its own. As you find things to enjoy and opportunities to take advantage of, as you feel grateful you discover more. Your brain actually opens up. Enjoy it! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

What will you do today to make it marvelous?

If you like these posts please subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word. 

Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Creating The Future, Learning, Overcoming Difficulty, Persistence

The Secret Successful People Know About Failure That You Don’t

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“Successful people aren’t always successful their first time out. You know that of course, right? They may spend years working on their dreams with no apparent success in sight. More over they may face incredibly difficult odds and challenges. Many lose everything first.

Welcome to Part 10 of The Secret To Success And Happiness Few Know And Won’t Tell You. We continue on today. I hope you found the first  9 parts valuable. Ready, let’s go. Part 11 tomorrow.

A successful pro batter in baseball strikes out far more than gets hits. In fact the difference in averages between one paid the big, big bucks and one not isn’t that great.  If you think about it the highest scoring batter fails to connect with the ball far more often than not.

The same is true of basketball players and making baskets. The attempts far exceed scores made.They frequently miss. What sets these pro athletes apart from others, perhaps you and me? Why are they failing so often but still winning and getting paid very well?

Success Is Not Final – Failure Is Not Fatal …

One thing that makes the difference is they understand that in order to hit the target you have to try a lot. The know they will miss more than they hit and they accept that. It doesn’t prevent them from trying. They continue to press on. They keep the faith. They work it.

If they quit after their first miss, after their attempts went south, they would fail. Because they continue on they make adjustments to their behaviors and skill set, they continue to work on getting better and better. They improve. They know they must to compete.

They don’t count the times missed, they don’t focus on the ‘failures’ they record the successes. They understand swinging and missing is a large part of hitting the ball. Shooting at and missing the basket is a huge part of putting the ball in. It doesn’t stop them at all to miss.

… It Is The Courage To Continue That Counts

There is no such thing as failure. Either they did what they attempted to do or they didn’t. They don’t get bent out of shape about it. They keep their mind in check, they keep their attitude in check because they understand something most of us don’t.

Sports is a mental game. Most of winning is dependent on what goes on inside the athlete’s mind. Focus, concentration, not getting psyched out, but maybe psyching out an opponent, attention, shutting out distractions is a major part of their skills in doing.

It is the mental game that leads the physical prowess. Imagine trying to make a basket, hit a run, kick a field goal with millions watching, thousands cheering or booing, knowing the pressure is on. Are you up for that? Some people are and some aren’t?

Success In Life Comes When You Simply Refuse To Give Up

What the pro does inside their mind gives them the edge. Imagine training for four years to compete for seconds in the Olympics. You get a couple attempts, usually, and an average or best score entered in competition. Most who go to the Olympics fail to medal.

There is no such thing as failure to these dedicated people. There is only feedback. They either hit the mark or they don’t. If they don’t they examine what they need to adjust and improve to hit it the next attempt. If they miss again, they adjust for the next attempt.

Some go back after missing and dedicate another four years to improving so they can repeat the process again with the goal of medalling up next time. They commit and learn from their mistakes but they don’t throw in the towel.  Well, some may.

Have Goals So Strong Obstacles Failure Loss Act As Motivation

Those who do quit, they fail. They stopped after missing the mark. The last thing they did before quitting was to miss. Those who try again never fail. Temporarily, they may experience defeat, but only temporarily. They use it as feedback to continue to improve,

You and I face challenges and obstacles, small and large, each day. If you learn from your each of your difficulties you will continue to move forward. You gain valuable information on how to improve and move forward. With that information you can possibly succeed.

Napoleon Hill pointed out that within each adversity, each challenge, each struggle or disappointment,  there are the seeds of equivalent opportunity. You have to know to look for them or you will miss them. If you seek and you will find. Learn from difficulties.

Never Let Success Go To Your Head … 

You can learn from difficulties the same way athletes learn from their challenges. If you adopt the athlete mindset you can become a winner much more easily. You must learn to control your thoughts and feelings and to continue on no matter how daunting it seems.

With the correct attitude, and by making the proper adjustments, you can move forward toward success. With the right mind set you won’t stop at failure  but are open to begin seeing it as a stepping stone toward eventual success. All success begins in the mind.

When you look back on your life, or back on difficult times, temporary defeats and attempts to excel, you can more easily connect the dots. You see how or why you ended up as you did from the decisions you made. You can notice your part in it all.

… Never Let Failure Go To Your Heart

Your are responsible for all of it. Once you realize that all of your attempts, hit or miss, you are responsible for, the game changes. You don’t blame others, or conditions or circumstances, you seek to improve what you do so you are better the next time.

I enjoy listening to pros talk about how they won or lost a match or a game, and what they need to do to be better the next time. Listen, if you haven’t. It is all on them and what they can do to improve. Listen, pay attention, the pro mindset is what we need to win!

Never worry about making  mistakes. Mistakes are a part of it, just as misses are, as long as you learn from them. Some people try so hard to avoid making mistakes that they don’t do anything. They freeze. They are afraid they will do something wrong.

Failure Is Success In Progress

Something wrong can always be corrected. It is far better to do it and correct it and learn from it and move forward than to not progress at all because of fear. It sucks being frozen. When you are stuck you are not moving in any direction. That is what stuck means.

Enough for today. We will continue tomorrow. Hopefully, I have provided you with some important food for thought but don’t miss tomorrow. You will want to read on! Meanwhile, make it a point to examine your thinking and your experience. Look for the good.

Look for the positive. Look for what you do well that you can enhance. Realize you have an opportunity to improve and excel. You can update and upgrade. Eliminate the bugs and faulty programming and beginning living as you want to. Find those things to appreciate.

Success Is The Sum Of Small Efforts Repeated Day In And Day Out

Look into what you appreciate about you, others and the world. Bask it in. Feel the positive emotions. After all, the point of life is to feel wonderful. Logic is fine but feel delight and feel joy. Become enthused with your ability to make changes positively. Have fun and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take charge today and be happy!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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