Category Archives: Responsibility

Intentional Thinking, Responsibility, Self Talk, Visualization

Why Don’t People, Including You, Change When They Want To?

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“You try to change? You want to lose weight, gain weight, get out of debt, spend less money, Yet, you don’t. You try to make more money, feel happier, stop yelling at kids,  or quit smoking but you haven’t. What’s up with this? Why don’t people change if they want to?

The short answer is: They haven’t decided to. They want to but haven’t made the decision. That is one heck of a major reason. They hope to, wish to, and want to really, really, badly, BUT they haven’t actually said, ‘I will change’.  YOU haven’t committed to it, either.

Instead they try different things. All of which don’t work, according to them. They make excuses, they blame others. They tell themselves, ‘it will be hard’. They say things like, ‘I don’t know how.’ They blame god, the world, the economy, even themselves.

Unsuccessful People Make Decisions Based On What Sucks Now

‘I can’t change’. ‘I’ve tried everything.’ UH, NO, YOU HAVEN’T. You may think you have tried everything, but you haven’t. May seems like it, but nope. You’re not  doing the right things. You keep doing the same things over and over wishing and hoping it would be different.

That’s part of the problem. You have to do something ACTUALLY different! You have to say you will and then you have to commit to it. You have been putting it off. Fearing it. Resisting it. Worrying about it. You have been programming yourself to fail again! STOP THIS!

STOP the Insanity! You need to program yourself to succeed. You need to quit failing and start succeeding. As Henry Ford stated, ‘Whether you think you can’t or you think you can. You are right’. You’ve lied about why you can’t change. Now, lie about why you can.

Successful People Decide Based On Where They Want To Be

You have to decide you will. Commit to it. Affirm that commitment each and every day, every hour and every minute, if need be. Commit and persist. Believe you can do it. Affirm that you can do it. Decide it will be easier than you imagine, even though, it may be tough.

It requires as much effort and action as it requires. You don’t take a bazooka after a gnat when a flyswatter will do. Still, you must do whatever it takes. You must keep doing it until you make it a new habit and master it. You must engage your mind power. You must!

You must make your thoughts and feelings work for you instead of the way you typically use them. You must take charge and decide that you are larger than any problem you could possibly have. YOU are in charge. You will do it. You will make it happen. You – You – You!

There Is Power In Making The Decision To Do Something Positive

Stop doing the old things the old ways. Stop doing the old habits. Make some new ones. Create thought, feeling and action habits that serve you. Weed the garden. Stop feeding the weeds. Feed only what you want to grow. Speak only that which promotes growth.

Align your thoughts, feelings, words and actions. Focus your attention powerfully on what you want to create and do it. The more you do the more you can do. Break it into manageable steps at first. Chunk it down. Step by step, but do it. You can learn to do anything.

Appreciate that you want to change. Appreciate what you want to change because something about it served you. Right or wrong there was something in the behavior for you. Now change and appreciate you have decided it is time. Appreciate your efforts. Be glad!

You Have The Power To Change Your Life At Any Moment

Appreciate your progress. Each day feel blessed and thankful for the effort, the progress, the slip-ups and mistakes, the return to progress and for your persistence. Feel blessed you are alive and able to take this on. Stop whining and start winning. Make it a game. Have fun. Enjoy it. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

It is your day. How are you going to spend it?

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Acceptance, Celebration, Meditation, Responsibility

Why Meditation? Why Let Go? Why This, Why That?

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“Why meditation? Why let go? Why be a witness or an observer? Why practice this awareness? Why develop this habit? Why watch your thoughts or your breath? Why learn control over your thoughts, feelings and behaviors? What is this all about or for?

When you are able to remain calm and centered in the midst of the most trying circumstances you will know exactly why you developed this habit. Learning in this manner allows you to de-stress and live in the world confidently and positively. You’re freer and enjoy more.

Why gratitude and appreciation for things you already have? Why gratitude for things you don’t have yet? Why gratitude for challenges and problems and difficult people and disappointment? Why be thankful for ‘bad’ things? Why not just be negative and sad?

No Meditation No Life – Know Meditation Know Life

When you are grateful for anything and everything you freer. If everything is a blessing you are centered and calm. You are able to respond resourcefully and rise to the occasion with clear focused thought. You know it will work out no matter what. You know it.

You know you will accept whatever is good or bad, yet be able to get through it. You know that ultimately good will prevail and you can move forward. You let go and drop worry and anxiety, anger and frustration, sadness and helplessness. You are free and are strong.

You can act to change the situation but you do so from a centered place. You can act and move with heart and compassion. You are better equipped for any situation than when hot headed or ego driven. Stress has consequences. You can’t think or behave well.

Life Begins Where And When The Fear Ends – Live Courageously

From a centered place where you can let go, forgive and forget you can move forward more easily. When you can celebrate everything there is everything to celebrate. You discover all that you want and need you have. You discover opportunity and abundance. Get it?

You make it so. Whatever you think or say is what it is or will be. Free yourself from judgements. Recognize what is is. Allow it. Only speak or declare what you want. If you call it a problem it is a problem. If you call it a blessing then it is. You decide what things are. You do!

Life is your creation. You are involved in making it whatever it is each moment. You may not be aware of this but it is true. Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. It is your projection. When you can see that you can drop that and live authentically. Live in peace and freedom, You can love and be loved. You can laugh and celebrate more. In fact, you CAN celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy the day!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Communicating, Intentional Thinking, Responsibility

Do You Understand You Are 100% Responsible For It All?

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“I am responsible.’  Few people want to say this. Fewer want to say it confidently. ‘You are responsible.’ Fewer people want to be told or hear this. It seems taking responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions is something many people want to avoid. That sucks.

We should take responsibility and be accountable. Two different things that seem similar. We own up to it and are willing to endure whatever positive or negative consequences that follow. What the many miss is there is great power in taking it all on. Very great!

Whether or not it is accurate to say we are responsible for everything that happens in our life, for our entire life, we access greater creative control over it all when we apply the principle to ourselves. We become the person who makes things happen.

When You Blame Others You Are Saying You Are Powerless

We eliminate victim mentality and exercise the ability to always have a positive next step to make more of what we want happen. We are in charge of our thoughts, feelings, actions and the results we get. While we do cooperate with others, it is still in our hands.

It is our focus, our dedicated attention, our intentions, and our own actions that create our life. Are we influenced from the outside? Yes, of course.  When we take 100% of the responsibility on us, whether it is true or not, we have the power to create whatever we want!

We don’t allow room for pity or feeling sorry for ourselves. We may need to get up and dust off after a fall but we continue to move forward optimistically even when disappointed. We eliminate excuses,  blaming ourselves or others, all accusing and negativity.

If You Don’t Like Something Change It Or Change Your Attitude

When we think positive, accept the responsibility, stop whining and keep forward momentum we can make nearly anything happen. Our mindset is strong, positive and firm. We are committed to correcting when necessary, adjusting and moving on. We create or find a way.

We don’t stop because the going gets hard. Nor do we make others responsible for our feelings or the results we get. We keep the power instead of giving it away. When it comes to communicating or working with others we realize it is up to us to help create rapport.

It is up to us to help  insure the other person gets our message in a positive, useful and friendly say. The relationship should always be more important than the point you are attempting to make. Take the attitude others are in your care and you can help them understand.

Be Responsible –  It Is You Who Will Get To Where You Want To Go

Adjust your communication positively until you create the understanding necessary to move forward. Don’t blame them for not ‘getting it’ adjust and be flexible. Attempt another approach until they begin to understand. Get it? Accept responsibility.

It may not really be yours to accept but when you wear that hat, adopt that concept, live from this mindset, you can get further faster than when you don’t. Get it? Beliefs don’t have to be ‘true’ to be useful. Understand the utility of the concept not the validity of it.

Be willing to try it on and claim the power for making positive things happen. Nurture them along. Help others instead of insisting that they ‘get’ you help them to. Go First! Create a positive attitude and climate from which you live your life and communicate with others. Get along. Turn resistance into assistance. Be grateful and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take charge and do it today!

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Horizons photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Attitude, Communicating, Responsibility, Win Win Outcomes

Wanting Without Manipulating: How To Create Win/Win Outcomes

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“You have wants. Other people have wants. How do you get what you want while they get what they want? This is the big question. Zig Ziglar is famous for saying ‘You can get anything you want if you just help enough people get what they want.’ It is true and it works!

The points to keep in mind are you have your want and others have theirs. If you both can get what you both want, or a significant part of each, then you both can win. If you both win you both are pleased you keep the relationship intact and can both win together again.

Create win/win outcomes that is your goal. First let us reframe a word that is difficult for people. The word is manipulate. There is nothing wrong with manipulation. Manipulation means to move from one place to another. You manipulate your car while driving.

 It’s Not Your Way Or My Way Together Let’s Find The Best Way

It is a less than glorious notion when applied to making people do things they wouldn’t want to do. I agree. If you engineer it so people aren’t served, so the outcome isn’t with their best interest in your heart then it isn’t a good thing. And manipulation can be good.

So let’s not be concerned with the dark aspect of this word as long as your intentions and purpose are to create a positive win for the other.  Just be certain you aren’t deceiving yourself into thinking you are doing it for them when you are really doing it just for yourself.

Be honest and clean with yourself. If you want your child to do homework because ultimately it benefits them you may manipulate them in some positive fashion. You may offer a reward. If it also allows you some relief and quiet time then you both win. Get it?

You Can Be Right And Alone – Or Together In A Good Relationship

You both should win. Your interests are important and so are theirs. The more you can make both parties benefit and be happy the better off you both will be. You will become known as a person of integrity and great value if you act with integrity and provide great value.

If you are pure in your heart and wish and work for the best for everyone you will win. If you give only to get and don’t care how you give or what you give but only want to serve yourself that ultimately reveals itself. You can’t hide true motives for very long. We leak info.

People can read each other. We feel it when something is off. We radiate and broadcast who we are everyday, all day. We can’t hide it. People can attempt to mask it, but eventually they are exposed in some fashion. It will definitely bite you on the ass at sometime.

Conflict Cannot Continue Without Your Participation – Let Go

Develop a genuine giving nature. It will come with practice. Give. Donate your time, energy or money to a worthy cause. Get involved. Little by little, just as with any habit, you will develop a giving muscle. Give happily. No one wants to be forced to give. Give what you can.

Don’t give and regret. Give and celebrate. Tiny steps at first if necessary. Practice negotiation. I am not suggesting you give away the farm when you work together with others. I am stating you need to find areas of agreement where you both are delighted; satisfied.

When it comes to adding value think absolutely knock your socks off customer service! Think wow how can I go above and beyond anyone else and make my customer (or relational partner or friends) fabulously delighted? WOW them and you win them! It is good biz!

 Blessed Are Those Who Can Give Without Remembering …

It is also good practice for family, friends and strangers. Go that extra mile that no one else will. Do it in your job, in all of  your relationships and in all areas of your life and you will benefit. Just do it for them, because you believe they deserve it and you enjoy it.

You deserve to get too. Remember that. You win and they win. They win and you win. That is your purpose for communicating and negotiating. Always leave them better off than before they met with you. And as in show business, ‘Always leave them wanting more!’

Get it. I hope so. Again, a major point. If you, make it a point, to celebrate all the people in your life you will feel much better. Even, and especially the challenging ones. Think, they are there for a reason. They’re there to help you grow and evolve as a person.

… And Blessed Are Those Who Can Take Without Forgetting

It doesn’t have to be true to be useful. It may be a reframe but utilize it for your benefit. Be grateful for the lessons learned. Be grateful for the challenges to grow stronger and wiser. Be grateful for the opportunity. Be grateful and enjoy. Delight and appreciate.

You are better off and move forward as you do. It will help you to create win/wins. Serve yourself and serve others. Then they are more apt to return in kind to you. It is the Law of Reciprocity in action. Give and get; get and give; joyously. Your life will transform. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Enjoy today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

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Boundaries, Communicating, Overcoming Difficulty, Responsibility

You Must Maintain Your Boundaries Too

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“Boundaries are important. Their boundaries and your boundaries. You ought not cross theirs nor should they cross yours. So what to do? Treat them with respect and expect the same in return. Don’t demand and be nasty about it. Stay nice, but firm if you must.

Know when someone is wasting your time or mistreating you. Be prepared to say no when it is necessary. Don’t let people abuse your time or your generosity. This may be rare, especially, if you take care to learn how to better read people. If it isn’t check in on yourself.

If you are constantly having squabbles and issues then it is likely you need to make some changes. Remember, it is not easy to change others. It is far more productive and beneficial to change yourself and your responses to others. That is within your control.

A Lack Of Boundaries Invites A Lack Of Respect 

When people try to take advantage or abuse your time, generosity or more, be firm, be polite, be final about it. You can gently put your foot down without destroying the other person. Let the person know you have boundaries you won’t allow to be violated.

There are people who have no regard. Still, you should treat them fairly and with kindness. Speak only to bless, heal and prosper. Don’t let them get to you. Your attitude and behavior in the worst situation is a reflection of your character. Seek the higher pathway.

Your character builds reputation. Your reputation as a friend or business person will precede you. It is obvious you want to be known as the best friend, the most reliable, honest, trustworthy, easy to do business with business person. That will be of great help to you.

No – Is A Complete Sentence  – Give Respect And Get Respect

Napoleon Hill stated he had three walls. An outer wall that was low and had a few doors in it many people could access. Not everyone but many. The next wall was higher with one door in it. Far fewer were allowed entry. Only necessary people got admitted in.

The last wall was very high and only a handful could gain access at times. This was his metaphor for prioritizing his time, and energy and maintaining privacy. People could gain access depending how closely they were associated with to him or how important it was.

It is necessary to maintain your own boundaries. You shouldn’t have to fight to preserve them. Know when to say no and when not to. Pick your battles wisely. You don’t always have to be all things to all people. I simply want you to understand this. You are important.

Boundaries Are Normal Healthy And Necessary

Nurture and take care of and love yourself. Appreciate others and appreciate yourself. Respect yourself. Then others will too. If you aren’t egotistical, if you don’t flaunt it and are not a snob, but are confident, well-adjusted with a sense of humor and self respect others will respect and like you all the more. Be authentic. Be kind and be grateful. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Take care of yourself, today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Attitude, Go First, Relationships, Responsibility

Would A Movie Company Be Willing To Take You Camping?

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“Would a movie production company be willing to take you camping? Heck, would any company take you camping? It is important that you be able to answer, ‘YES’! Do you know why? This is necessary to understand. People say ‘yes’ to people they like.

People want to hang around with people they like. Get it? No one wants to go camping, or be on a set, or work together with a person who is a downer. They’ll avoid the person who isn’t a team player. They don’t want to be around a selfish, self-absorbed complainer.

You need to be likable! Get known as a team player. Support other’s and allow others to support you. If you GO FIRST it is more likely they will want to support you in return. ALWAYS be willing to go first. Don’t wait for others. Set the gold standard. Take the initiative.

T.E.A.M. Together Everyone Achieves More – Be A Team Player

You get known by your actions. OR you get known by your lack of actions. You want to develop the best reputation you can. You will accomplish this when  you add value and go beyond what anyone else is willing to do. You will be highly regarded and sought after.

Your reputation precedes you! You are known by your fruits, or your behaviors. Actions speak louder than words. Remember this! Attitude is everything. It determines your altitude. How far you go, how successful you become, is determined by those around you.

No one ever makes it on their own. The term self-made is a fallacy. People make it together. One may rise or be pushed to the top but without the support of others, there is no where to go. You’re all in the same boat. You need to row in the same direction. Get this?

Good Players Inspire Themselves Great Players Inspire Others

Celebrate other workers successes. Provide genuine praise and enthusiasm. You succeed by helping others succeed. In the movie business, one of the industries I work in and enjoy, being someone who adds value, who is friendly and not a grumbler, is critical.

People tend to complain about their bosses, the job or project, other workers, the weather, you name it. If you don’t you get noticed for being positive and optimistic. When a movie company crews up and casts up one consideration, of course is, is the person qualified?

Whether one can do the job, or not, IS critical? What have they done before? Who has hired them? WHO is this job candidate? Their reputation is important. Who referred them are typical and critical questions. Still, there is a mindset that governs much of the hiring.

You Inspire Others By Showing Them How Incredible They Are

If we were going camping would we want to bring this person along? Would they be fun to have? Will they get along with everyone? Working together can be like a camping trip. It often is; on location, with movie companies. Do we want this person at the campfire?

If you’re the kind of person who is likable and who likes and helps everyone else, who goes the extra mile and adds value, while not being a pest or interfering then you are desirable. When you uplift others instead of bringing them down people tend to say yes to you.

People will be willing to go further for you and do what you want when you demonstrate you are willing to go first for them. When you support, uplift, are positive, friendly, honest, dependable, loyal they will want you on their team. Don’t gossip or grumble; you win.

You Can Succeed Best And Quickest Helping Others Succeed

On the other hand if you are known as a complainer, someone who gossips; a person who rains on the parade, who can’t or doesn’t do the job any boss, any company has little use for you. You might fool them at first but you won’t fool them for long. Do you get this?

Appreciate yourself. Appreciate others. Appreciate where you are, what you do, and life in general and you get further faster. Acknowledge others and support them. Celebrate their achievements and successes and you will win too. You will move up when you are a valuable person to have around. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Today, pay it forward!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Communicating, Go First, Responsibility, Trust

Experts Reveal: Why You Win When You Go The Extra Mile

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“Don’t you just love it when someone goes out of their way to help you out or do something nice? I mean sure, sometimes the tendency is to not receive a gift because you don’t want to ‘put someone out’ or you don’t want to feel obligated. Still, it is nice, isn’t it?

Of course, it is. When some one does something for you, you appreciate it. When they do something extra special it is even more important and memorable. It has an impact. Remember, what I said a moment ago about being obligated. It stimulates reciprocity.

You want to return the kindness. If you want more people to say yes and become devoted to you or your business then be willing to provide far more value than you ask for in return. Go the extra mile. Demonstrate your ability to give and you will get far more back.

Go The Extra Mile – Just Like At The Top – It Is Never Crowded

Give first and you will get back! There is a caveat. Give to give not to get back. When you are a genuine giver you will get far more back than you can imagine. Be sincere. Give because you want to provide lot’s of value to those around you. You will get known for it.

Give of your respect. Give your attention. Give you kindness. Give your time. Give your yes. Be generous and provide value first for the other person. When you do people naturally want to, and even feel compelled to, reciprocate. They will return your kindness. Get it?

This is why people bring gifts or food or drink to dinner parties they are invited to. It is why a sales person often bring donuts or coffee to their sales calls. It is why they pick up the tab at a business lunch or meeting. They obligate you. You feel compelled to say yes.

People Of Excellence – Go The Extra Mile – To Do What Is Right

You promise to get the tab next time. Researchers call it The Law Of Reciprocity. When you give first people want to give back. They actually do feel compelled. When someone buys you lunch or a movie ticket, they pay for something, what do you want to do?

Return the favor, right? If someone gives you a ride for free you want to pay for gas. When you give first, they want to return it. If you listen well, if you are focused and attentive, people more readily return the same to you. There is a saying, givers get.

Demonstrate their interests are genuinely in your heart and they will place you in theirs. If you give only to get they will know it. Say yes to them and they will say yes to you! You win more bears with honey. Go the extra mile. Provide fabulous value.

Be The Difference – Don’t Just Be  Ordinary – Be Extraordinary

Be the type of person that exemplifies trust, honesty, loyalty, respect, willingness, acceptance and cooperation. You are the message. Who you are and what you do is far more important than what you say. We will discuss more of ‘who you are’ later.

For now, go the extra mile. Will everyone, always, return your kindness? No, but most will. That makes it even more important. You risk not having anyone return anything. This makes you the bigger person. When people know you are sincere it works in your favor.

Don’t try to manipulate. If you are authentic people will respond far better because most will ‘get it’ at a gut level. We are usually far more perceptive than otherwise. Our gut, our first impressions usually are right. Many people listen to theirs. Be a good person.

Stand  Out And Taller Among The Crowd By Going The Extra Mile

You win in the long run when you go beyond the call of duty. Understand this. You up your batting average. There is no absolute guarantee but you should offer one whenever you can. Get it? You win by helping others win. Make them a priority. Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Make it a marvelous day!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Communicating, Go First, Law Of Attraction, Responsibility

How To Get People To Say Yes To You

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“Whether you are in show business, sales, the fields of medicine or law, a parent, child, friend or associate, boss or employee getting more yeses is important. To get people to do what you want make certain you are the kind of person they say yes to most often.

Whatever walk of life you are in people tend to say yes to people they like. Science bears this out. Two research conclusions. People like people who are like themselves. This is where ‘birds of a feather flock together’ is truly applicable. People agree with people similar.

The second finding. People tend to say yes to people they like. It is a given. Will they say no to people they like? Of course, but it is much more likely they will say no to people they do not like. The goal: Make sure the people you influence like you. Become likable. Get it?

You Are Where Your Thoughts Take You – Think Highly Of Others

You become most likable when you are similar to them. I’ll discuss this in another post. It is important! For now, keep these principles in mind. Walk a mile in their shoes! Understand where they are coming from. Truly appreciate them and let them know it. Be empathetic.

Be compassionate. Be easy to like. Be friendly, nice and smile. Show that you like people. If you don’t like people in general, or the person you must communicate with, they will know it. They will sense it at the nonverbal, non-conscious level. They will feel it in their gut.

We are broadcasting who we are, our likes and dislikes constantly, whether we realize it or not. In order to be liked we must be likable. In order to get more yes answers we must be someone people want to say yes to. We need to be able to put others at ease.

You Get What You Focus On – Think Friendship & Cooperation

Help them to feel comfortable. Be likable. Be willing to be likable. Be generous in your friendliness. Demonstrate attention, respect and loyalty. Rex’s Rule is to always go first. If you want someone to like you, like them first. If you want respect, respect first. Get it?

If you want attention give yours first. It works this way. Remember, we are constantly broadcasting who we are and what we value; like or don’t like. You and I pick things up at the gut-level, so do others. Some people may be far more sensitive than you or I.

We can learn to improve this ability to detect and notice, to interact and influence. We can learn to read people better and more readily understand where they are coming from. This helps! The goal is to build bridges. Invite, be open and available. Be easy to say yes to!

What You Think About You Bring About – Be Positive  & Optimistic

Allow people to be themselves. Don’t insist they change for you! Don’t insist anything. Look for commonalty between you. Notice how you are similar. Find the 1% you can agree with 100%. Focus on what you agree on, over and above what you do not agree on.

Build bridges. ‘Make peace not war’ or ‘make love not war’ were famous 1960’s slogans that are useful to adopt. Keep in mind go first. If you want a yes what can you say yes to? If you want someone to give you something what can you give them first?

Nothing is truly free in life. There is always a price in time, energy or money. A simple example: If you want an apple you must pick it or get it somehow. Walk a mile in their shoes. Be empathetic. Be compassionate. Be likable. Be generous. Be willing. Be helpful.

Skill Comes Of Doing – The More We Do The More We Can Do

Demonstrate good communication. Invite don’t insist. Look for the common elements. If you’d walk a mile for a camel (another famous slogan) walk further to get your point across and accepted.  Live with gratitude. Freely express appreciation of and with others.

When you are appreciative of everything it is easier for those around you to be appreciative. Delight, have fun and enjoy. Be willing to change yourself and be flexible and adaptable. You don’t change others you change yourself. It is called self improvement!

This is an incredibly important point to understand. Evolve to be the kind of person people most naturally and easily want to say YES to AND you will get more yes replies. Your life will improve as you develop yourself and your abilities.  More later, meanwhile celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate with friends today!

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Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Communicating, Mindset, Relationships, Responsibility

Guidelines For Getting Along With Others While Talking

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“Here are a few tips and principles that will help improve you ability to connect and communicate with another person. Stay open and positive. Don’t label the other person as a poor or bad communicator.  Don’t judge them that only makes things worse.

Assume you are missing the point rather than judging them. Take responsibility for listening better. Blaming them won’t help. If you change what you are doing it might. Stay open.  Assist them in being clearer. With your help you may create better understanding.

Everything depends on your intent as a communicator. Are you seeking to understand or ridicule. If you make judgements and insist they change to suit you it actually inhibits the process. You shut down and it is more difficult for them. Don’t let emotions get in way.

Not Everyone Thinks The Way You Think Or Knows What You Do

Make it easier for the listener.  Help the communicator be clearer if able. Ask simple questions politely to help them clarify their points. Gently and patiently bring it out of them. Elicit it gradually. Take responsibility for making the process go nicely for both of you.

A frame you can adopt to help you is to assume they don’t know any better. They can’t help but do it the way they are doing it. It isn’t their fault and they aren’t bad. It is just the way it is. Imagine helping a small child to do something well. Encourage them along.

The goal in communicating is to build a bridge between parties. It is to learn to speak the other person’s language rather than insisting they speak yours. While it might be nicer if they did it your way be the bigger person and adapt to them. Be flexible. Be a chameleon.

Not Everyone Believes What You Believe Or Acts As You Act …

Change what you are doing so you can get along with more people. If you only have one way of doing something you are limited in the number of people you can influence. If you adapt and help make the process enjoyable you win more friends. Make them feel at ease.

Help them feel comfortable speaking with you and they will want to do it again. Make gentle and direct eye contact. Listen intently and once in a while repeat back to them what they said so they know you are listening. Do the same if you want them to be clearer.

Repeat and ask them what is meant. Always be polite and respectful. Nod and ‘uhhuh’ or say ‘yes’ also once in awhile. Don’t stare. Talk less and listen more but don’t be completely silent looking like you are in trace. Engage, be appealing. Smile, encourage them to talk more.

Remember This And You Will Get Along With A Lot More People

Ask questions but don’t interrogate. Don’t ask so many they feel they are being put to a test. Give them some room to be themselves. Often it is best to sit next to them than opposite them. Or sit t the corner of a table rather than across from each other.

I’ll share more as we continue. For now implement what you learn. Action is the proper fruit of knowledge. Expect to have a nice time. Mentally shower them with love or gratitude or peace. Your outer behavior does reflect your inner behavior, whether it is positive or negative, so keep it positive. Enjoy communicating and celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate with friends today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!

Acceptance, Communicating, Relationships, Responsibility

How To Get People To Do What You Want!

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“Are there people in your life getting along with seems impossible? Would you like to help them understand you better? Do you argue more than you want to? Would you like to be more influential? Want to more easily and readily get others to do what you want?  Do you?

The goal of communication is understanding. Most of us think it is only to inform.  We inform each other of our intentions or what is going on. We think, since we  ‘communicated’ or spoke our thought or piece the other should understand and respond appropriately.

Good communication is more than telling the other person what ‘is’. Good communicating involves delivering the message in the manner the intended recipient can understand it. You make certain it is  well understood, clarify it as necessary and listen openly all the while.

Communication’s Biggest Problem – The Illusion It’s Taken Place

If it is not understood the sender must adjust the message until the receiver ‘gets it’. This means being flexible and having more than only one way to speak or communicate ideas. This means communicating the way the receiver is used to getting messages.

It doesn’t mean getting angry, raising our voice, yelling at or name calling the listener ‘stupid’ because the person doesn’t understand. It means attempting to help the receiver understand by being respectful and helpful. This is where the Platinum Rule comes in.

The Golden Rule is marvelous! It should always be applied. ‘Do unto others the way you prefer to have things done unto you.’ That is a guideline for not mistreating others. Think about your preferences and don’t do less for other people. It is a wonderful rule to follow.

The Most Important Thing In Is To Hear What The Other Is Saying

Go The Extra Mile is another fantastic principle that states don’t just do the job but go above and beyond what is called for. Deliver more value than any one else. Blow their socks off by doing more than they expect. This is another wonderful rule to practice daily in all.

The Platinum Rule states ‘Do unto others the way they prefer to be done unto’. In other words do it their way. Do it the way they like. Do it the way they are used to. This is important especially when communicating. Help them understand by speaking their language.

If someone speaks another language than you speak, if you really want understanding, then attempt to speak in their language. They don’t understand yours. Don’t make them try. You speak theirs. You are delivering the message help them understand. Get it. Go first!

Good Communication Means Respecting Yourself And Others

It doesn’t help to raise your voice. It doesn’t help to get frustrated or mad or blame them because they don’t understand the language you are speaking. It doesn’t help to ridicule or give up. It helps if you adjust and attempt to phrase it meaningfully for them.

Speak their language! Adjust and continue. Continue to adjust until you get the desired results. Adjust and continue until they understand. Don’t berate them. Be patient. Allow them their misunderstanding. After all they are trying to understand YOU!

In a few series of upcoming posts we will explore how to better and more easily communicate. If you want friends, co-workers, lovers and even strangers to better and more easily understand you, and get along with you, then it is worth learning to communicate better.

Listen More – Speak Less – Seek To Find Out Their Point Of View

The more you are able to express yourself the more you are apt to get agreement. The more agreement you get the easier and the more people you are able to positively influence. The better the understanding the greater the harmony and the relationships.

Enjoy and delight the opportunity we have to share ideas. Be grateful you have a means to do that. Appreciate that you have people in your life willing to listen and even ‘put up’ with you. Recognize how blessed you are to share with others. Learn, laugh, love and live! Celebrate everything!” Rex Sikes

Celebrate friends today!

If you like these posts – subscribe. If you think these posts would help others please share them. Help Spread the word

Photo used with permission of Phil Koch.

NEW BLOG SITE LAUNCHES SOON – Do you get this blog emailed to you? You will have  to again subscribe to this blog, newsletter. I’d hate for you to miss anything when it switches. Subscribe and Follow Daily Inspiration and Gratitude!