Tag Archives: NLP

What Has Led You To Where You Are Right Now? Recognize It!

action moments

“If you are truly dedicated to changing your life for the better you will be listing the people who you are grateful for and you will be finding new ones every day. No one is too insignificant nor too important to not get listed. Each day people can contribute to us in numerous different ways and learning to recognize this and validate this is an important step toward making your life more wonderful. People are our greatest resources and there are many reasons to celebrate each of them.

If you are dedicated to making your life more positive then you also have been recounting the people whom you have benefited and the ways in which you have made a positive impact on each. Since none of us live completely alone we interact with others. Communication is a two way street. I am suggesting you look for the wins. Your wins and theirs. The more you look for mutual cooperation and benefit the more you will find it.

gratitude is the attitude that propels you forward

Keep at it these are great exercises to increase your ability to notice and celebrate the positive contributions of others and your own. Make examination and appreciation a daily habit. Fill your mind, your heart with all good things. You will transform more quickly when you feel grateful more and more each moment. When you feel blessed not matter what you are living the good life and making good things happen.

Today examine the situations and events in your life that have brought you to today. Anything at all which has led you here that you can look on and begin to appreciate if you don’t already. Think of your life as a road map to today and all the crossroads and landmarks and places you have seen along the way. Celebrate these, appreciate these whether they were delightful or challenging at the time. Think of them as stepping stones and each of them is important. Look and see that in each case you made decisions that determined outcomes and no matter what those outcomes were (or are) you are here, and that means you have succeeded in many ways. No matter whether the past was good or not so good you have succeeded. You did the best you could at the time with the information you had then and you carried on.

forgive yourself for not knowing

Some events may have been troubling others wonderful. Begin to recount them all and look at them with new eyes. See them as reasons to celebrate, lessons learned, challenges overcome, blessings in disguise, opportunities waiting to happen. Inventory and appreciate. The past is gone and a person can live in regret over what they are now no longer to change or a person can find the good, whatever that may be, from the past and appreciate it for brining them into the present. You survived whatever it was no matter how terrible or tough. Right there, this is reason to be thankful.

Find new meaning in past and even present situations that lead you to think and feel differently. Every cloud has a silver lining and remember it is always darkest before the dawn. When you celebrate and are really thankful for everything you create space to invite more good things, people, situations, events, opportunities to flow your way. One reason for this is because when you adjust your attitude and your thinking you DO see and consider things differently. When you are feeling wonderful, positive, optimistic, confident and powerful, when life is delightful you notice more than you do when you are just okay or feeling down.

train your mind to see good

Through these posts I have discussed ways I have found to feel and think better and create the future you want to have. The journey is the process it is all we have at the moment. The future while it may be assured is still in the creation process so all we have is now. In this moment it is most desirable to learn to feel grand. In this moment enjoy and raise your energy up. In this moment feel wonderful because as you do more of these feelings come your way. YOU open the flood gates for more to follow.

When you are able to recognize value in whatever life throws your way, when you are able to see seeds of positivity and opportunity, when you are able to maintain your focus and your feelings no matter what goes on around you then you are becoming the person in charge on your own life. Then you are making good things happen. Then you are really able to make lemonade out of lemons instead of it being a trite little saying. When you can recognize good in all and feel wonderful, or the very best you are able, no matter what life brings you then you are on top of things.

gratitude  magnet

How do you get there. Step by step. It is in all the little things we do each day. It is in these exercises and in making them a habit. When once we form positive habits for thinking and feeling our life has a wonderful positive energy of its own. We become our own master instead of thoughts or others dictating how we feel and behave.

Celebration and appreciation are powerful allies and tools. Utilize these to make your life the life you want to have. Utilize these to create yourself as the person you have always wanted to become. Each day take a step or two or three in being and doing and having what you want most. You can do this. Keep on doing it.” Rex Sikes

May your day be most amazing!

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Who Has Walked With You On The Path?

beatufiul fall river bench

“Beginning today: List all the people you are grateful for. Write down the names of those you love and cherish, your friends, those who have influenced you and those who have challenged you. Remember the times and places and activities that these people and strangers were important to you.

Sit and think about this. Take some time to recall. Keep track of those who have educated and guided you.Living and those passed on think back on how lucky you are that they have been in your life. Celebrate, delight and enjoy these memories of special people in your life. How many can you list?

Add to your list tomorrow. Who else do you remember. Who impacted you this day? Stay in tune with people and what they mean and have meant to you. Young or old, past or new focus on being grateful.

Appreciate and then do it some more. Fill your mind with the positive!” Rex Sikes

Today is there just for you! Share it with others because you can! Make it wonderful!

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Do You Want To Feel Better?

no matter how you feel get up and never give up

Do you want to feel better? Most everyone does. Some people hope to feel better others always seem to know what to do. When you are feeling ‘out of sorts’ or ‘less than glorious’ there are some simple things you can do that will make all the difference. At the very least they will initiate the process of changing so you can find relief and begin to move in a more productive direction and feel better. The better we begin to feel the more we can continue to feel well being.

accept what was have faith in what will be

Here is an easy way to change how you feel. I’m sure you have heard it before and it works! Take a walk. Go outside, get some fresh air and walk somewhere beautiful. Take it in. See it, listen, take a deep breath, smell it, feel it. Go outside and get refreshed. Look off into the distance, focus your eyes on way far off in the distance while you walk. Look to the horizon. Change your perspective.

Move! If you are able walk barefoot along the beach or the grass. Connect with the earth again. Let yourself be filled with the beauty and wonder of nature. It is easy to do. Even if you live in an urban area walk somewhere nice, somewhere different than where you normally travel. See new places and new things.

Exercise – take that walk, relaxed or make it brisk. Jog, engage in your favorite form of exercise. This helps shake off old tired negative feelings. Work out! Get the stress and frustrations out. Do some cardio, some yoga, go swimming. Move vigorously for awhile. Work in the garden, plant something. Harvest if possible, take out the brush and the weeds. Get into the earth, do some laboring.

let go of thoughts that don't make u strong

Do something nice for another person. Take a moment to make a moment special for someone else. Pay it forward. Help someone out of a jam, carry their groceries, babysit, walk the dog, anything. Put your focus onto someone other than yourself. Find a way to put a smile on their face. Make them a card or a small gift, cook them a meal, take them somewhere special. Make it a point to put some kindness into your day.

Helping others and thinking positive thoughts about others is a fantastic way to feel good. We can feel helpful, useful, kind, generous, we can have pride in what we did, or simply be loving. It takes the attention off of us and puts it onto someone else for awhile. Think about what you can do to help another person improve their situation, overcome a difficulty, solve a problem or just feel better. Caring for someone else is a marvelous way to feel wanted, needed and valuable. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or a shelter. Find out what needs to be done in your community and pitch in or simple assist a family member or a friend.

be thankful each day

Do something! Do anything! Just don’t sit there and wallow. Getting up and getting out makes an incredible difference. It is difficult to feel bad when you are moving energetically. It is difficult to feel bad when you are busy and engaged with other things. It is tough to feel bad when your focus is on helping others feel better. When your thoughts and your energy is directed in a positive way you benefit from it. When we are active and moving, when we use our bodies and minds productively it is difficult to feel down. When you are idle, when you don’t move, when you don’t change your body it is much easier to remain stuck. So get up, move, get out, do something, do anything!

Try walking, hiking, skipping, dancing, running, or rolling down a hill as a little kid would. If you are willing to try new things there is always a way out of the gloom. When you make it a habit to take charge and be active about not letting yourself whine, complain and feel down you will find yourself feeling better more of the time. As you do things to move yourself from ‘less than glorious’ to feeling better you are beginning to make it a habit, a practice, to make yourself feel better. The more you do this, the more you do it again and again the more you will find it getting easier, happening more swiftly, frequently and spontaneously. Each time you make a positive change for yourself you are learning something of great value. When you do it deliberately you are really benefiting yourself. No longer are you the victim but you become the victor.

On a separate note it is okay to feel sad sometimes. It is important to grieve when life takes a turn and you lose someone important to you. There are reasons we feel down at times. Sometimes we sleep sometimes we are awake. Everything has a season and a purpose. It is okay and you can accept it.

be the reason

There is also the time to get up and get on. It is important to know and understand and make room for both. So be sensitive and be wise. Life, as far as I am concerned, is about enjoying and delighting as much as possible. It is about celebrating all good things and making moments special. It is about allowing and about creating. It is about making it what you want it to be and not about letting it happen to you or pass you by. So when it is appropriate, when the time is right make it what you want it to be.

Playfully discover all the ways you can be more fascinated, have more fun and feel fabulous. You will never know all the ways it is possible until you begin to try a few new ones. Do a little bit each day. Explore and adventure. Create some play time for yourself and treat yourself lovingly, with respect and appreciation. If you are used to conning yourself into feeling bad learn to con yourself into feeling better.

Celebrate every moment because once they are here, they leave and only a memory remains.

You can do this. You can make your life much more marvelous. So do something today.

What kind of memories do you want to have? You decide. Put a smile on your face or help put a smile on the face of someone near you! Enjoy!” Rex SIkes

Today is yours how will you make it a little more special? I wish you a wonderful one!

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Stick With It, You Can Do It! Never Give Up

unguarded thoughts - buddha

Keep going no matter what. Never give up. Giving up is easy. Going on may be tough but it is only by persevering that you will make your dreams come true. ‘Quitters never win and winners never quit’, as the saying goes. Just keep going! Hang in there and keep the faith.

Keep your mind in check. Stay positive and maintain your focus. Believe with all your heart you will prevail. Never let obstacles or challenges derail you. Stick with the plan. Keep on going. You only fail when you finally stop trying. We can learn from any challenge and any obstacle. So stay with it and you WILL get through it.

good judgement comes from experience

All defeat is only temporary. It may not seem that but it is. Remember the saying, ‘This too will pass.’ IT WILL, it really will. No matter how tough it is rise up. You deserve the best there is so you must keep going in order to make that happen. Sometimes we have to fall to learn how to get back up and keep going. We make mistakes to gain wisdom and experience. Everything can be useful to learn from so make the most of every experience, every moment.

growth is

Keep moving forward. Being stuck means you stop, that there is no movement. Don’t get stuck, keep moving toward your goals and dreams bit by bit. Consider this, whether true or not, use this thought to inspire you: You are creating everything, your wishes and wants, your dreams and desires, your present and your future. You are creating your obstacles and challenges too. You create these to learn important lessons from and to evolve. Even if it is not true keep it in mind and act as if it were true to guide you.

inch toward your goals

EVERYTHING is a blessing, every moment there is something to be thankful for. In every challenge is a seed for opportunity and a lesson to be discovered. So be thankful and enjoy! Celebrate and find what is good and new each moment. Make every second count. Live with passion, joy and delight. When you do each moment can transform. Find the little magical moments and collect them. You will transform.

never give up

It may be tough but that is just the way it is, for now. Concentrate on what you want and why you want it. Celebrate all the good things you presently can find and ignore the rest. If it doesn’t make you stronger or happier or bring you closer to your goal let it go. Know that if you stay with it you can have what you want if you give up it stops the moment you do.

Never let a thought stop you from getting what you deserve. Make your life wonderful everyday! If you are really challenged help someone else. Put a smile on your lips and help put a smile on yours. In helping others will will move forward faster. It makes us feel good when we do and it helps move all of us forward together, even if just a little bit. Helping others is a great way to transform yourself and help transform the world. Live, love, laugh and enjoy!” Rex Sikes

Make today count. Enjoy it, celebrate it and delight in it!

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How To Stop Screwing Up and How To Start Getting What You Want Most In Life

change what is going on within you

“This is the method for you to begin creating what you want the most in life.

Determine what you want that you must have! What is it you want that you are totally passionate about? What were you born to do? What is your ultimate chief purpose in life? What trips your trigger? See it in your mind’s eye. See it as detailed as possible. Use all of the senses. See it in full color, a movie, sights and sounds, feelings tastes and smells. Make it a complete sensory experience.

Write it down in detail with a deadline date. It is said there are no unrealistic goals only unrealistic deadlines. What is a realistic timeframe for you to get everything you desire? Put down the date.

Think about all of this in your mind as though you already have it. Your deadline came to pass you got everything you wanted what is it like to be living this dream now? How does it feel? What do you look, sound and feel like? What do you say to yourself? What are others saying about you? Immerse yourself in this ‘future, present’ reality where you are and have and are doing every thing you wanted. Savor it.

Do this daily imagine it fully and vividly. Plus, read what you wrote down. Be excited about it, enthusiastic. Be as a little kid waiting on holiday gifts. You know fully the gifts are coming and you just can’t wait. You are so eager, Live with passion and enthusiasm and confidence it making your future come true.

Focus on what you want, see it clearly in your mind’s eye.  Focus on WHY you want it. Think about and list all the positive reasons you must have this come to pass. Explore how you and others will be better as a result. Remember your future can come to pass more swiftly if you do no harm and others benefit as a result of you making your dreams come true. When they win AND you win then everyone can help each other. It is said, ‘you can have anything you want in life when you help others get what they want in life’. Remember this. Apply the Golden Rule.

Focus on what want and why you want it instead of on HOW you are going to get it and you will be much happier. The how will come along even though you can’t yet see it. The how will come about as a result of your thinking about it and concentrating about it day and night. You hold the positive image in your mind and charge it with your positive energy and feelings and as you do your whole being is filled with it. Plans and notions, insights and intuitions will begin to come your way. Take notice.

Practice present day gratitude and thankfulness. Appreciate what you have, where you have been. Be thankful for all of life’s challenges, lessons and opportunities. Celebrate all the positive and what you do have. Focus on abundance and not on lack. Focus on manifesting your dreams not problems or issues in the present.

Even if everything crumbles around you stay focused on what it is you want.

Do not get caught up in how you can’t yet see how you will do it. No one knows how they will do anything until after the complete it. So focus on what and why. Concentrate on all the happy, joyous, wonderful moments and not on how and you WILL manifest what you want.

im a product of my decisions

You get what you expect in life. Expect good things!  Even if you can’t see them or can’t yet see how you will have them, expect good things and you will get good things. Expect the worst, because crap is happening around you, and you will get more of what you expect.

Stay focused and do not give up. Expect it and you will have it. The future belongs to you. You create the future with your present thoughts so think the very best.

I have shared many different aspects of creating your future and what you may wish to do. I have discussed what to do if you have any difficulty. Go back and re-visit and re-read frequently. You can do this! You can make all your dreams come true. Have faith and have faith in yourself. More Next Time!” Rex Sikes

In how many different ways do you suppose you can you discover yourself delighting in today that put a smile on your lips?

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Have To Change Direction Part 4

whatever we plant in our subconscious

Hopefully, you are enjoying these blog posts as much as I am being able to share them. Much of this material I made available at other times in other fashions. It is exciting to be able to do similarly here.

I don’t pretend to be a writer. I am not. I simply try to share my thoughts. For much of my life I speak professionally in front of groups and extemporaneously. Here you get a similar stream of consciousness.

I attempt to provide you with multiple analogies and examples to help you remember the concepts. Just as in habit formation we need repetition, the more we repeat the principles and concepts the more we remember them. Remember how you learned your times tables. Over and over again.

Keep in mind that the more positive you think the more positive you are able to think. The more you do the more you are able to do. It becomes a reliable habit.

The road ahead will always be twisty and turning and you will have many times when you need to steer back to center many times. That is just the nature of personal change.

Along the path to mastery of any skill there are setbacks, pitfalls and plateaus. What researchers have discovered is the path to becoming better is not a straight path at all but looks more like a stair case.

Once we begin learning anything, playing golf or the piano, or knitting or public speaking what often occurs are, and especially in the beginning, some tough times. It is difficult, we have never thought or behaved or played this way before.  As we continue we get better. Just like riding a bike. We attempt to do many things at once and we can’t pay attention to all of them so it seems almost overwhelming, still most of us managed to do it.

As we progress we may have what is ‘beginner’s luck’ when we perform exceptionally, we are in the zone, everything is right and goes well. Then, there may also come along a plateau phase where nothing we do is correct. We actually perform worse. Typically, we get frustrated and angry without disappointing performance.

What we did not know unless we are told OR have experienced playing or performing long enough is that our life will be visited b by these plateaus many times. It appears these plateaus are necessary for improving. These plateaus give us pause while our unconscious minds assemble all the learning bits. It literally seems to suppress some activity while it makes sense of all the learning experiences, hence the sudden lapse in co-ordination or progress.

It will take as long as it takes to get through this plateau and the timeframe is different for everyone. The best use of your time when these occur is to relax, let go, enjoy and do something else. Take a break from the sport or learning activity and come back renewed and refreshed at another time. If you do play stop criticizing yourself or expecting yourself to be perfect. Cut yourself some slack, appreciate that you are learning and celebrate that you are on your way. Have fun in the meantime.

Then when the plateauing is over the learning curve begins again. Upward and onward until the next time the brain needs to assemble everything. It is said some of our dreaming is doing this very thing on a daily or nightly basis.

During your journey of being more positive you discover that as you engage this process is that it gets easier to utilize.

As you repeat it over and over on each occasion you are beginning the process of positive habit formation. Through repetition and through time you make it a habit. Once you have developed the  habit you will be delighted to find yourself automatically doing it. You will also discover yourself using it more frequently to transform other limitations you previously we aware of.

SO the best way to develop the habit more quickly is to infuse your positive thoughts with positive emotion. Feel wonderful, find the best you can feel through the day and enjoy it. Nurture the process, relax about it, don’t force it and have some fun.

A habit can be said to be a skill that does not require or even enlist your conscious thinking about it. As creatures of habit we pretty much do things consistently unless interfered with. For example, you probably sleep on the same side of the bed each night, you may even have a particular bed time and ritual you do prior to sleeping. You awaken in the morning and you shower and get ready. You have a bathing order. You wash top down or bottom up same fashion every day. My guess is this rarely if ever varies with you. When you get dressed you begin the same way and in the same order. The same foot gets the sock on first, the same leg goes into the pant leg. You most likely drive to work the very same route and return the same unless you have to stop and shop or go somewhere or for any other reasons. We get angry similarly over many of the same things that always make us angry, or we get upset, sad, lonely over the same things. 

It has been said the average human thinks at least 60,000 thoughts a day and upwards of 60% of them are the same thoughts as the day before AND the day before that.  Whew, who is doing the counting?

Bottom line we are creatures of habit. We engage in the same behaviors and thoughts on a daily basis without every stopping to consider why or how we developed these. Even though there may be better ways of doing what we do, this IS how we do it.

Imagine that! Most of what we do IS already by habit. We are even known by our habits. Other people can frequently predict how and what we may do or react like in given situations. Sometime, they or we are surprised, but pretty much we are reliable patterned creatures of habit.

So when I talk of making positive thinking a habit it is not as though you have never done it before. You have developed lots of habits good and bad, some required much energy and attention while others seems to develop outside of our awareness. Either way we have learned and set habits. Since we have done this many times we can do it again with complete purpose.

You might consider a habit  a skill you do without thinking consciously about it and yet you can enlist your conscious mind when you need to. Driving is an example. You use both your conscious mind and unconscious to drive (as you do everything).

Driving is both an conscious operation and a collection of unconscious habits. This is why you can drive without paying attention and while lost in thought, however, that is NOT the safest way to drive. Safe driving requires both conscious attention and reliable unconscious skill. as

I believe the same is true of a happy successful life.

Developing the positive thinking habit works the same way all habits are formed. It requires your conscious determination, repetition, sticking with it without quitting, and encouragement.

For this discussion, the analogy I will use is taking up running.

To start, a person decides to to get healthy, or for whatever reason, by jogging.  After making the decision to being one must ACTUALLY begin. This overwhelmingly obvious point is lost on the procrastinator who will get around to it someday. By the way, the cure for all procrastination is to put off procrastinating for another day. 

The person goes out to jog. At first, they cant jog far or long and they might even get sore but if they keep jogging a bit each day pretty soon they can jog further with less discomfort. Soon they begin to notice the benefits of jogging. They feel better when they run, they feel better after they run and it has gotten easier.

Because of these benefits and because the body releases chemicals (another aspect we shall discuss at another time related to positive thinking) the person actually begins to look forward to running as a result. They get disappointed if they can’t for some reason. Jogging has become part of their daily routine, they have formed the habit of jogging daily. They even think about it when not jogging.

We form positive habits by being deliberate about forming them. 

We make the decision, we do the action, we keep doing it without quitting and in time the habit is formed. The key to making something habitual is how often we do it without quitting and the enjoyment we derive from it. I have pointed out how the military conditions a troops thinking by repetition and high emotional involvement. That is a great example of conditioning and making habits.

People have learned all sorts of habits, good, bad or destructive, and indifferent habits/ A good habit may be brushing after meals, thinking positively, a bad habit may be smoking or over eating or picking one’s nose in public, and indifferent habit may be which sock you put on first or your bathing order.

We do know habits are hard to break. If you have ever tried to stop engaging in a bad habit, like biting one’s nails, you know if is tough. So a wise way to think is that we should develop good habits to serve us because they too will be reliable and difficult to stop.

Don’t you think it is time that we take charge and develop positive habits? Once you develop the positive thinking habit it too is difficult to stop. Isn’t that great news? You make a positive, powerful and permanent change. You develop a reliable habit to automatically use and to put into use whenever you need to or want to consciously.

I think this is fabulous news for us humans, don’t you?

Still, as I have attempted to point out, the world doesn’t change necessarily, it is whatever and however it is. It keeps going on. Some may think we do have influence as creators, but that is not in the scope of this discussion at this time. Perhaps, we do have influence as creators.

The point is regardless of what the world offers you or why you can develop your abilities though practice (or rehearsal) so that you can determine how you may positively respond to whatever it offers you.

Just because bad things happen one does not have to choose to feel unhappy. There is always a choice. We will explore this more in depth at another time as well.

You can change your response to what the world offers you. You can learnt that you have choices you may never have exercised before.

The way you do this is to use do what I have been describing for yourself. Take the time and make it a habit. You will find then that the challenges thrown at you actually contain within them opportunities. 

You will transform your thinking and as you do more and more things become good, whether they are inherently good or not. None of that matters. You determine how you think, how you feel and how you act regarding what the world offers. You become the victor.

When you do these things and change your thinking for the positive you enhance your ability to make good decisions. When you act on your good decision you get good results. Who doesn’t want to get better results? You do, don’t you?

I think this is a marvelous way to live. Being in control doesn’t mean having to control all the time. It simply means that whenever necessary, or whenever you want to, you are able to be more resourceful. You are able to exert control when you have to.

Being in control means you put yourself in charge of your creative processes and fashion yourself and your life more as you want it to be. In this regard you are very much a creator.

Whether you are new to this thinking or seasoned in this approach think positively about it and you will find more positivity in life. Look for what is good and new. It is there, right in front of you, right inside you, IF you will ONLY look.

There is the saying, ‘the kite rises against the wind’ which means that challenges provide us opportunity to grow. We become stronger when challenged, when we need to rise to the occasion. Muscles are built by lifting weights. The main point to understand is that however, you regard challenges is how you will experience them.Opportunity is everywhere, you can learn from any experience. 

So to sum this all up: We become what we think about most of the time through the day. So think powerful positive thoughts about yourself, others and situations and events. Look for the very best and you find the best. Give the very best you have because you will get back whatever you put out there..

You don’t have to let negative happenings or negative thinking bring you down. It can ALWAYS be otherwise. If you slip up, get up! Go on, steer back to center without drama, criticism, or fanfare. Celebrate that you noticed you were off track and get back on track. It is that simple.

In order for life to be better you have to change it. You will discover many things that delight and amaze you. Changes will come more swiftly and you will find yourself happier and healthier overall. All you have to do is begin. Take the first step forward.

I believe this is worth it, what about you? Will you begin to day to make a real difference in your life today? What things can you do to make yourself feel more wonderful? How much fun can you stand today?” Rex Sikes

There are many things to continue to discuss and we will in future blog posts. I hope you are enjoying reading and putting to work suggestions you get here. I welcome comments. Meanwhile make your day glorious, after all it is the only day, today, that you have.”

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Have To Change Direction Part 3

change your attitude and it will change your life

Once you begin implementing this process you open a window for change. You create a space where more good things become possible. Your life becomes more of an adventure because you look for and find more good things to include. You find more good things about yourself. As you begin to look for more good in yourself and others and in the world you actually DO find more good.

When you take moments and transform them by transforming your thoughts and feelings for the better you build a rich reserve of positive feelings. When you feel better and think better more of the time you are in a better mental and physical space to recognize opportunities when you may encounter them. When you are a positive influence and you resonate with positive energy other like minded people tend to gravitate toward you. As you transform yourself others and the world can respond positively to you.

So someone might say, (counter example) well bad things still happen to good people. This is true. You may be the most positive person, believing in all good things, and some ‘terrible’ calamity may fall you or a loved one. I am not saying the outer world conforms to you. Things still happen, but how you respond to them makes all the difference. How you label actions and events and people make a big difference. What you glean or learn from these, how you adjust and move forward is all up to you. Your perception about them is what makes them what they are for you

Choice always exists for you. This is important to understand. Even though your current situation may not be desirable you do not have to choose to be unhappy about it.

I am not stating that you must be happy or stoic about it. I am only suggesting that it is your choice how you respond. If bad things are going to happen anyway why would you ever choose to feel unhappy about it? From the answer you give to that question will learn much about yourself. I am not saying there is a correct answer just examine your answer. What might you learn about you?

If you choose to not let it make you unhappy so be it. If you choose to be unhappy about it so be it. Don’t resist, accept, allow.

If at some point you wish you had made a different choice, my guess is there will be another opportunity at another date.

Celebrate whatever your choice is. You will get further faster by loving and accepting and treating yourself positively than by criticizing, self loathing and regret. UNLESS, these latter feelings catapult you into a positive direction they don’t serve to make you better.

There is a reason for regret. We feel regret so that we don’t repeat whatever we did. If you regret treating a loved one or stranger poorly then stop it. If  regret gets you to stop treating someone poorly and begin treating them better, then in this case, regret is a good thing.

It got you to stop so it was an asset. If you can make the change it is positive to do so regret then serves a function. If you cannot do anything at all about it, if the person is dead or long gone, or it is just something you can’t change, then it is an emotion that does not serve you at well in this regard. The same is true regarding guilt.

This is the point in our life when the Serenity Prayer may be useful to consider: ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference’.

Wisdom is more important than knowledge because with a little knowledge you can do great things good or bad. Wisdom is knowing the difference. Again, here is where I think good taste out to prevail. Make the wisest choicest in the best possible interests of yourself and others. Do no harm. Do no harm to others nor to yourself. Instead, love and allow even when you don’t understand. Live and let live. What you resist will persist. Seek the higher way of being.

As I stated, when difficult times arise, acceptance is a worthy response. Sometimes we need to be able to accept and allow and not endeavor to escape or avoid or dictate how something or someone must be.

Acceptance, for me however, does not mean becoming a victim or giving up. Acceptance means learning how not to resist. Whatever we resist persists. When we actively fight against something we are IN A fight. It means we are actively engaged in combating something we don’t want. We are focusing on the what we don’t want instead of being focused on what we do want.

It is a fine point, subtle but powerful, and we will explore later. For now, let me use this example. Not wanting to be poor is NOT the same as wanting to be rich. Focusing on what you don’t have or lack is NOT the same as focusing on what you want to create or gain or on abundance. Knowing what you don’t want or won’t tolerate sets your limits but it DOES NOT provide you a useful direction to what you do want. It is similar to driving down the road looking in the rearview mirror. It is not useful in getting you where you want to go.

So don’t resist. Don’t give what you do not want any more energy or time. Let it be, accept it for whatever it is, and steer gently from it. Acknowledge whatever is important to acknowledge. Learn from it and when ready move in the direction you actually want to go in.

It is okay to grieve, it is okay to be sad. We all feel these things. All emotions have their place. We are human after all. We don’t have to insist on being otherwise.There is a season for everything, a time to sow a time to reap, a time to rest.

Don’t force yourself and for goodness sakes don’t force others. Allow them to be whomever they are. Do not pressure them to change or be different for you. Don’t place unreasonable demands on yourself nor on others. Instead, celebrate your differences.

This is where The Serenity Prayer makes a lot of sense so I repeat it:  ‘Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference’.

As you become facile with this process it gets easier and easier. It becomes a reliable habit. As a reliable habit you are able to handle more of what life throws at you. Anything may come along and up set you, rain on your parade, ruin your party or downright devastate you, but you will more likely recover quickly and more easily, no matter how difficult it was, by being a positive powerful person. You would only wallow longer if you are a negative person most of the time. Face it, it does rain and shine on the good and the bad.

None of what I am suggesting is about controlling the world or other people rather it is about your relationship to the world, how you move through it. I think we all deserve to make life grand and have it as wonderful as it can be. This means many different things to many different people so I am not drawing any conclusions here.

What I am telling you is that YOU can make for yourself the life you wan to have whether you were born and live with outstanding incredible odds, or whether you were born on Easy Street. You can have the life you choose. The fist step, going back to other writing is to conceive of it, Then believe you can have it. We have discussed believing in this blog post for a little bit.

I know this, when you become a more positive person you discover more wonderful moments and fewer hardships because you have opened up the possibility to include many more good things into your life. You enrich yourself with positive thoughts, feelings, actions, people and experiences. Like does attract like. Even if crap happens overall your life becomes far more magnificent.

In developing and maintaing a positive outlook, in making positive thinking a habit, you become your own champion thinker and doer. You become a positive resource unto yourself and others.

When you stop yourself from traveling the old road way to the old house, and you take a break, go into neutral and shift your thoughts to positive you move from victim to victor. As a victor you are better able to handle and resolve the crap that may happen WITHOUT losing your positive focus or momentum. But,if you do lose it, you know how to get yourself back on track and on target. If you do momentarily forget your way to the mansion, you will more easily find it.

Promoting a healthy positive attitude in yourself makes life much better all the way around.

What you absolutely WILL discover when you engage this process is that it gets easier to utilize.

Think about a computer software program. I don’t like the analogy that much, but it returns us to the notion of servo-mechanism. Remember a servo-mechansim is just does what it is designed to do without caring about the outcome or the content.

Take this writing software program for example. It is designed so you can run any content though it. The program is constructed so you can write and publish but it doesn’t care whether you write well or not, whether you write inspirational material or drivel, whether you write about love or hate. All that is your choice. You determine what you write about.

Our unconscious, or subconscious. or other than conscious (all just words for processes that occur outside of our awareness and in many cases our voluntary control) is the program. It runs on and on. You supply the content it publishes it. So the mechanism is there to return to you whatever you put in it. Recall, GIGO,garbage in garbage out notion. If you dwell on negative thoughts your unconscious finds and supplies you with more of the same, if you dwell on positive thoughts it will find and supply you with more. IT ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT CARE!!! It returns whatever you give it.

Most of us are better at one form of thinking than the other hence the results in our life. Obviously, if we are predominately negative then the world, our life reflects that back. On the other hand if we are predominately positive our world, our life reflects that back IT DOES NOT CARE.

The question for each of us is: If we are not happy, ecstatic, with who we are, what we have accomplished and what we have in life then when will we begin to take responsibility to change it for the better? If life isn’t glorious we can do something about it. One thing is certain, if we do nothing about it, it is bound to remain the same. If you do want something better, you can have it. If life is already incredible it can be even more so. Who knows if there is any upper limit on what we could accomplish if we only decided to try and then did not give up.

I have outlined a process in these pages that you can use whenever you discover yourself engaged in thinking or feeling other than how you want to. You do not ever have to do anything with it unless you want to and knowing ABOUT IT will not do anything for you. It is only when you do it and continue to do it that you will benefit.

So if you want a more wonderful life isn’t it time to begin doing something? You don’t have to take my suggestions or word for it you may find another way. Find what works for you. I do know however, if you do not change something you are doing you will keep getting the same results.

What is it you would like to enjoy more of in your life? What positive things about you might you change for the better? If, you could do or be anything during the rest of your life what would you choose? What if, the next days and weeks and months ahead you became more and more delighted and surprised gradually, and discovered yourself just feeling incredible more of the time, wouldn’t that be cool? Wouldn’t that be worth having for yourself?” Rex SIkes

More next time. In the meantime make every moment miraculous!

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You Already Know How To Drive You Just Need To Change Direction Part 2

let go of thoughts that don't make u strong

“Once you begin using the formula I provided you you will discover many positive changes in your life. As with any process or program you need to continue with it. It is mental and spiritual nutrition. You don’t eat once and never eat again you eat to maintain your health and well being. In the same way you don’t just think one positive thought and never do it again. It is a daily exercise regime. Once you engage in the process and discover then fantastic benefits you want to continue and you will.

I have been sharing this process and these concepts for many decades now. I introduced people to my methods in personal development trainings that I conducted for the public and for businesses (and still do), in my Mind Design programs through my training company IDEA Seminars, in workshops and NLP trainings and seminars worldwide, and in my coaching and mentoring and consulting sessions.

I have seen and worked with scores and scores of people and have heard back from hundreds of people from all over who have changed their lives for the better using this transformational approach.  I released some of this material, the process, on Attitude Activator Audio Program, a guided relaxation program for activating your attitude whenever needed, in the early 90’s. Since then more and more people through live seminars and through the Attitude Activator have benefited in countless ways. This is fabulously rewarding for me at the personal level.

My point is – IT WORKS – so use it. I have shared it here with you so you too can improve your lives as many, many others have. If it is possible for any one person to make positive changes it is possible for you. Keep in mind, some others are not nearly as fortunate as you or I may be and they still have forged ahead and made a positive difference for themselves. If they can, we can. If I am able, you certainly can!”

Continuing from yesterday’s writing:

“When you begin to practice what I have suggested you begin to get free from limitations. You begin to free yourself from habitual conditioning, you begin to create space to be a new you and behave in a new way.  You begin to experience the world with more delight. You find yourself expanding your boundaries safely and wisely.

It is simple process, but it is not always easy.

The method I described is not hard either. It is whatever it is. It is what ever you perceive and deem it to be. Your thoughts about it determine whether you think you can or can’t do it. Your thoughts determine whether it is easy or difficult.  Whatever you think and conclude about it makes it so.


Henry Ford said “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.” He is correct. It is up to you whether you find it easy or hard, It is up to you whether you can or you can’t. It is up to you whether you will or won’t. It is completely up to you and how you think.

Some people try to shift the responsibility from themselves and their inner processes to others and the outside world. They may say ‘it is too hard, or she won’t help me, or he prevented me, or I don’t have enough money or time, or the economy sucks’. Instead of realizing it is not about ‘the other’ or ‘the outer world’ it is about how we think. Our thinking is what determines whether we move through the world with ease or not. One saying is, ‘Our attitude determines our altitude’.

There certainly are real world constraints, I am not saying there are not, but we can more readily overcome them when we think we are the kind of person who is able to. We won’t even bother trying if we think we can’t or that it’s too hard or that other’s or circumstances will prevent us.

I return to the notion of being in charge. Who is driving the car? Who is in the driver’s seat? The road may be rough or smooth, long or short, there may be detours or broken roads, even dead ends but it is up to you to steer yourself to your destination.

Face it, we just grew up used to whining and complaining. Either we complain ourselves or we listen to others. The media is full of it. So were many of  the adults around us while growing up and our peers. We grew up with it so we accept it as normal. Until someone points it out one may not even recognize they are doing it. Negativity fits us like our skin. It is not even that positivity is difficult its just that we have had so much practice doing otherwise.

So the time has come to stop being a back seat passenger in your automobile and take the wheel. Learn the new pathway to the new glorious mansion and enjoy the journey. Don’t you really want to anyway? Wouldn’t that be exciting?

Perception IS every thing.

I have said for decades, I have asked this question of countless thousands: What is it that stops most people from anything they want to do in life? What stops them from success, from happiness, from love, from riches? What stops most people?

A THOUGHT!!! A mental packet of energy. A thought combined with a feeling. If you think you can’t and don’t feel like you can or will you most assuredly won’t. YOU WON’T.

UNLESS you change the thought and feeling.

This is why Henry Ford is correct. Whether you think you are able to or you think you are not able to YOU are right. Your thoughts, your thinking determines where you go and how far you get. Little else has such power.

SO a thought can stop you. It is insidious actually because one little ole negative thoughts invites all his nasty friends and family to join him, resulting in ‘woe is me’ thinking and ‘bad feelings’. But if a negative thought can have a Pity Party then a positive thought can do likewise in the opposite manner. One little positive thought can transform and invite so that you have a Power Party. So if a thought has that much power then you want to manage your thoughts.

When you begin thinking positive you may have many negative thoughts to over come, but don’t resist them, it isn’t about fighting them. Fighting negative thinking is just focusing on the negative. It is like the ultimate joke, the prank. Fighting the negative means you are hooked into focusing on the negative and WHATEVER YOU FOCUS ON EXPANDS!

Recognize and accept them and then re-direct them.

STOP – Take a deep Breath!!! Remember. Go to Neutral Then Shift focus.

One positive thought can throw a positive Power Party too. Then all the friends and relatives show up and before you know it you can be feeling good. You just have to make room for this possibility. Because you may have never done so in the past, because it is not what you automatically do, at this time you have to consciously choose what you think.

It is all a matter of awareness and good taste. You become aware of the need to think more positively (most of the time during your day) and you begin to do this. Good taste means choosing really nice positive thoughts and nourishing them and not returning to or nourishing those nasty negative ones. Whichever you focus on you will get more of them. So, I think it is wise to chose the best.

Remember, if you think you are defeated you are. If you believe you can win you at least have a chance. If you think it is difficult and you can’t do it, well yup, you probably won’t. Don’t blame others, don’t blame the world, don’t even blame yourself (this is truly poor taste) just own up to it. Take responsibility and realize you won’t go uphill thinking downhill thoughts.

This is the point!!! PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING!!!!

We have opportunities when we consider them opportunities. We have challenges when we consider them challenges. Nothing is actually one way or the other. It is only as we label it.

If we label something as hard it may very well be hard. Still, you could  surprise yourself with how easy it actually is, when you give it a try. This has occurred for me. Have you ever had this happen for you? Said another way, our thoughts OR our beliefs, IF NOTHING ELSE, set the framework with how we see and experience the world around us. Sometimes we are more accurate in our assessment than other times. Some times we are WAY off base.

Have you ever tried to convince another person, especially, a child, that it they just go, if they just try it, the will have a great time?They don’t believe you, they don’t care and they are convinced it will be otherwise. However, once there they play or hang out and have a marvelous time. Thinking back on it they may not even be sure why they did not want to go or try something in the first place. Has this ever been you? Have you ever been the one refusing to try something? I sure have been.

I am aware there are counter-examples anyone can provide here. No one analogy is ever perfect and all encompassing. But here to if you are always looking for the counter-example if you are always saying ‘yes but’ or ‘nope, what about this’ then recognizing this about yourself right now should reveal to you how you have learned to think (up until now) and how you process and what examples you look for. It should tell you a lot about how you and others may get along. There is nothing wrong with what you do, I am just pointing out a tendency you may have.

If you tend to nearly always look for the counter argument then this is something you have learned to do, it is an habitual way you think. Don’t get me wrong, I grew up thinking that way, and I still do, but I have learned to think otherwise too.

Our thoughts determine who we are, how we feel, what we do and whether it is simple, easy, fun or not. This is what is typically meant when we say our thoughts create our reality.

We make it so by how we regard it. If you want your life to change you have to change things in your life. What we think about we become AND we get what we think about. Your thinking sets your boundaries.

You alone determine whether you are a ‘can do it person’ or a ‘can’t do it person’ by how you think about it.

Whether you believe the world is a great place or a terrible place, whether you think it is an abundant universe or believe in lack it is all up to HOW YOU think about it. Our thoughts determine our reality SO your thoughts determine yours.

As it has been said “You are today where your thoughts brought you. You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. You can not escape your thoughts.’

I’ll give you a few fascinating examples. For example, you come home put your keys down and later go to look for them where you placed them but cannot find them. They are there but you don’t see them. You look and look but nope not there. Then all of a sudden voila’ they are there right where you put them. Have you ever had anything like this happen?  You look right at what you are wanting to find but you do not see it. While it actually is right there, momentarily at least, for you it does not exist.

Do you know how they train fleas. They collect flees and put them in an aquarium. Over the top they place a glass plate. The flees jump up and hit the plate over and over. They learn this is as far as they will be able to hop. After a few days they remove the glass and most, if not all the flees remain in the aquarium. You can perform the same experiment with flies. Catch some flies, put them in a jar and put some plastic wrap over the top. The flies bump up against the plastic and after a while decide that is as far as they are able to go. You can take off the plastic wrap and most if not all the flies will remain and even die in the jar.

They have made what researchers call a ‘premature cognitive commitment’ which means they decide on the  boundaries and then live within them. It is premature because they don’t know that you will remove the boundary, yet they continue to live as though it were in place. They are committed. The word cognitive of course means thoughts.

We are limited by our own ‘premature cognitive commitments’. We don’t have all the information and we don’t know what will change tomorrow. We live from beliefs and from thoughts we made previously. Then we habitually maintain these thoughts and these limitations.

BUT we no longer have to. We can begin to live and think differently. Understand now you can begin by choosing what you will think. Choose the best thoughts and discover new freedom. Learn that you can live, you can be and have whatever you decide you can.

You need to decide to believe you are worth it. You may want to begin to think there is plenty for everyone and if someone else is able to get rich so are you. You might as well consider that you deserve to be happy, healthy and wealthy. Decide now the future you want to have and take charge of your thinking. ‘You will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you’ so choose the very best thoughts.” Rex Sikes

More tomorrow. I hope you will find blessings everywhere you go and fill your day with smiles.

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What? Take the bull by the horns??? Me? Part 2


if we did all we are capable of edison

I repeat: One of the best ways for beginning to choose better positive thoughts is to re-read these blog posts over and over. Read inspirational material at least a page a day everyday! Find positive affirmations to keep in mind. This is important as perviously mentioned. What you put into your mind is returned to you.

Deliberately think the best positive thoughts repeatedly. We infuse them with positive emotions. This is critical. It is not the mere repetition of a platitude that makes the difference. Saying or thinking something over and over does little. It is thinking and saying it while emotionally charged.

The reason people seem to have troubles is their fears are already emotionally charged. Sad thoughts are too. We get what we think about because what we think about is laced with the energy of the feelings. Words don’t impress the brain but images and feelings do.

Our brain works by releasing chemicals and hormones depending on what is occurring in us and to us. In fight or flight adrenaline is pumped into the system to be able to respond appropriately. The reaction is hardwired, outside of our conscious ability to choose, the body reacts but our response we may choose to fight or flee.

Later, as we remember the situation our body reacts, perhaps not with as large as reaction as the first triggering event but those memories invoke and respond to the chemicals and hormones that are triggered in re-living the event. We get back a portion or all of the experience. That is why some have crippling fear and why some others do not.

Our feelings become ‘anchored’ to the rest of the experience. A sight or sound, internal or external to us may trigger the memory or association and it all comes flooding back, feelings and all. The experience may link up and or be associated with other like experiences from one’s past.

It may not be long before the human makes a generalization or a rule from these associations, “I am afraid of…” or ” I can’t do or go …’ or ‘I am not the kind of person who…’ or whatever it may be in a limiting fashion. The person then may  form a  belief about who they are  or what they are capable of, or the world, or all three. From this belief and other similar beliefs, associations, memories and feelings they move in the world with however much or little freedom and comfort they are able to experience. These beliefs and attitudes together form what has been called ‘geshtalt’ or ‘paradigms’.

It is concluded that we don’t act much on any real information but from our paradigms and filters.

I have severely condensed this here but will be returning to it again in blog posts. I provide just enough basic information so one can understand that there is a large emotional component to making changes. Whether these occurred for us in life through experiences we consider negative or positive we are not shaped by words but by our feelings.

To make positive changes, to update our paradigms so they serve us instead of we serving them we utilize the best feelings we can find. We find the best, and we keep feeling the best as often as we are able.

If something comes along to upset us, as soon as we become aware of the opportunity we focus on things that make us feel better when we hold them in our mind. We consciously return to the best feelings as soon as possible.

Why? Because we want to train ourselves and make it a habit to find the best as soon as possible. We perform better, think better and enjoy life more when we are in more optimum states (this should not have to be stated, as I think it is obvious, but it may not be clear yet, and so I point it out repeatedly).

From the best place inside ourselves, the best thoughts and feelings come the best actions for ourselves and for others. So we charge our positive thoughts, our affirmations, our Directed Questions with the best possible feelings and this is what impresses on the ‘servo-mechanism’ what to do, what you want. You want more better thoughts and feelings. When you repeat this over and over you are telling ‘yourself’ give me more of this please. You are developing the habit and as you continue and persist, never stop, you are becoming what you think and feel, you are evolving yourself so it becomes easier and more reliable. It begins to become the positive habit you want. You are updating the paradigms and getting new results.

SO: We find the best feelings we can during the day moment to moment. A good guide is to ask yourself, ‘How am I feeling right now?’If it isn’t as good as you want put your attention on those thoughts or those elements in your life that make you feel good when you think about them. Find things to be grateful and excited about.

We hold the image of who want to be in our mind with these good feelings steadily in order to transform ourselves. We visit these thoughts and feelings as much as possible during our waking hours. We make it a ‘must have’ a burning desire something so important we must become it. That is the process and then we keep doing it and we do not quit. It is simple enough.

‘If you can hold it in your head you can hold it in your hand’,  the saying goes.

We see it, and imagine it fully in our minds and feel our best feeling as we do and all along the day and we being to transform ourself and our life into what we are imagining. In order to be it, behave it, do it or have it we must first conceive it and then keep on thinking it. We fill our brain and mind with this positive energy and we ultimately become it.

I seek self evolution prior to getting things. If I want to have a lot of things then I first think of myself as a person worthy of them and able to get them. I think of myself as a loving, kind, father or a successful, skilled, dedicated filmmaker (or whatever), I think of myself as one who can make things happen, a ‘Can do it’ person, an attractor or magnet or creator. From this being I make things happen and attract good things and people.

Who I am determines what I do which determines how far I am able to reach and what I am able to get, or have or include in my life. If I am a positive person my energy is dedicated to thinking and feeling and doing positive things so that I create, attract or make happen positive things in my life. I include finding or making happen situations, events and finding positive people to associate with.

The formula for creation is to be, do and then you have. Be, do, have.

I recognize for me that attitude precedes everything. Thought always precedes deliberate action so as we think the thoughts repeatedly we can become what we want. I believe we already are the product of our thinking so if I want positive changes to occur in my life, from this point on I need to change my thinking to be more positive.

I keep in mind to important principles ‘We become what we think about’ and ‘Birds of a feather flock together’. to guide me each day.

I believe that I should do whatever positive good it takes to become what I want without depriving anyone else. There actually is plenty to go around for everyone. I wish everyone well and celebrate them. I imagine great things happening for all and I am grateful for everyone in my life. I think how would I want others to think about me and what would I want them to wish for me. I would prefer they celebrate and wish me the best so I decided I ought to do it first. It goes back to ‘We become what we think about’ so I practice the Golden Rule.

So mere repetition of thoughts is not enough. Charge them with positive emotions. Determine to fill your day with finding the best moments to savor, the best memories to recall, the best feeling you can find. People, opportunities, places, things, activities to be grateful about put your attention on these. Determine that you will make it the best day possible by what you chose to focus on and create and experience. Take control of what you consider. If you find yourself off base return – get back on track without a lot of drama. Celebrate that you are returning to positive thoughts and feelings.

Remember the biblical saying “This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it’. Yes, you do that. Make it that kind of day. Determine to make each and every day that kind of day. Look for reasons to smile instead of frown and you will find more of them.

Life can be so incredible. Wouldn’t you like to be amazed to discover how easily you are able to transform yourself and your life into something so wonderful, you can’t even begin to imagine it fully, yet? Wouldn’t that be awesome and delightful? Hmmmmmm” Rex Sikes

More tomorrow, we continue. I wish for you to discover many delicious moments for yourself though out today .

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Have You Ever Failed At Anything? Failure is Feedback

arrow launch you

“There is no failure until you give up. Giving up makes it absolute. If you don’t give up it is only a setback, maybe a large one but it is only temporary as long as you don’t cave in.

Think of failure as useful feedback that something isn’t working and it is time for you to positively adjust your plan. There is nothing wrong with that. Feedback is what we need to move forward if we are off course. Failure is only temporary so hang in there.  

You don’t give up your goal, you adjust your plan positively to keep moving toward your goal. You may only need to take baby steps to course correct  when you get feedback.  So move yourself inch by inch back on course.

Only rarely does one  have to yank the wheel of the car to navigate successfully.  Large, sudden adjustments may be necessary once in awhile but not as a rule.  As you drive you makes constant adjustments from right to left to stay in the middle of the lane moving forward. You are always adjusting back to center to keep moving straight forward.

Remember the saying, “Quitters never win and Winners never Quit”.

Don’t give up. Adjust and keep moving forward. You will make it just keep going! ” Rex Sikes